A Second Chance
by little rosebud
Summary: A world of crime and hatred. Kratos finds himself a prisonner there, against his will, and he has to meet with the numerous consequences. He loses hope quickly, but a light is suddenly lit in his path. Will he be able to get out? KratosXYuan, rated M, AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer : **

Yo everyone! Here's Saenda and Littlerosebud with _A second chance_!  
**Saenda :** We really hope you'll enjoy it, right?  
**Littlerosebud : **Yep yep! So I guess everyone already know it's gonna be KratosxYuan, right?  
**Saenda : **I really hope so ._. It's written in the summary... Oh, oh! And I must warn! There will be some one sided MithosxKratos later on. My fantasies xD  
**Littlerosebud : **I see… Poor Kratos, really  
**Saenda : **Whaat? ._.  
**Littlerosebud :** Anyways… on with the _real _disclaimer! We own nothing! Not the world, not the characters.  
**Saenda :** Too bad though. I really want to own Kratos. *sigh*  
**Littlerosebud : **And I really want Yuan. But we can't have anything in life, now, can we?  
**Saenda : **I know, I know… Before we start, we must warn you. Anyone who flames us after this, even after all the warnings, will receive bashing from us! You have been warned!

**Littlerosebud : **But constructive criticism is always welcome! We love reviews!

**Saenda : **Anyway, enjoy everyone!

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**Chap****ter 1 (Kratos' P.O.V.)**

I was tired. I couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of this work, of this place. If only I could stop it all now, everything would then be all right. Unfortunately, nothing could be as simple as that. No one would ever let me go, I was a real prisoner. But a rebellious prisoner, I might add. Because even if I couldn't leave, I was determined to find a solution, to fight until the end. I _had_ to find a solution, any kind.

As long as it didn't put my family in danger... After all, my family was the most important thing in the world and I had to do everything to keep them safe.

My steps echoed in the dark hallways of the building in which I found myself at the moment. There wasn't anyone around and an oppressing silence was overrunning inside. I had never liked this place, it was too dark to my liking. There were almost no lights to light up my path and the walls were so grey that they became sad, dreary even. There was hardly any window and, when there finally was one, it was covered by curtains as grey as the walls. Only cells were missing and it would make the perfect prison, which it was actually. Non literally, of course. I was thinking of a prison because it was the place I was kept almost every hour of my days. And if I wasn't here, I surely was sent collecting our important clients' money, or collecting the money of trouble makers that annoyed my boss. I could hardly ever see my wife and son. I always had to slip away in the greatest secrecy, which I did a lot lately. And the more I slipped away, the more the blissful feeling of liberty was making itself present. After all, I was feeling a lot happier outside of those walls. Which sane human would refuse such happiness? I had to get out of there. Just a bit more time and it would happen.

This place was our 'family's headquarters. By family, I didn't mean mine, but the one at work, this work I hated so much. It was unfortunately the nickname people gave to their group of yakuza. And yet, I had always refused to call it so, feeling that it didn't fit at all our situation. Except in the presence of our boss, since I was forced. After all, I didn't want to attract unwanted attention towards me and, being the first lieutenant of our 'father', I had to show the example. At the slightest hint from myself, showing that I wanted to cut every link between us, everything was over, I wouldn't be able to escape anymore.

I took a turn, my feet still echoing, and not a single soul in sight. It was as if everyone had deserted today. But I was well situated to know that it was remuneration day and that the kids were all in a mission on each of their side so that they could collect the money from our customers, may those customers be willing or not. My superior had this gift to frighten people. He had such power that even the great leading figures prostrated themselves in front of him with terror. Which was why he could do almost anything he wanted even though generally, it turned out that it was immoral. He thought he could get away with murder and it was obvious that spreading evil was his favourite activity. It was one of the numerous reasons why leaving this place was making itself urgent in all my being. I didn't want to see, hear, nor live all those horrors I was forced to do and endure. Killing people because they couldn't pay the 'protection' we were offering to them anymore, beating others so that we would be sure that they would follow orders, hearing the cries and supplications all day long... It had become too much a long time ago.

Moreover, now that I had started a family in the utmost secrecy, I was putting it in the greatest danger. I had warned my wife that doing such a thing would be a bad idea, but she had insisted that everything would be all right and that, once I would have put everything behind and that I would have build my new life, we wouldn't need to worry at all anymore. I was sincerely hoping that she was right. Because if it happened that my boss learned about what I had done, I could certainly say farewell to my wife and son. And that idea only was enough to scare me to death. Each passed year was a real weight on my shoulders, never knowing if he would discover or if I still had enough time in front of me to leave everything.

My steps finally led me in front of a large wooden door in sculpted maple and I softly knocked on it before turning the true silver handle and entering inside. I closed the door behind me and laid on it before facing features I hated the most in the world.

Blond hair so long that they cascaded in his back like a waterfall. Green eyes that shined with mischief and cruelty, especially cruelty. It was so intense that it was enough to freeze anyone that would enter in the office and would make him bow down while begging that his life would be spared. Of course, that wasn't my case since I had learned to simply bypass them. Usually, these eyes were the proof that he was about to commit something bad. I had learned over time that this was the case when they were slightly screwed up with mockery, laughing at his victims who would suffer greatly because of his diabolic plans.

He always wore that smile full of himself, smile that showed that he knew how much he had power over his surroundings. His thin lips were often stretched in that smile, but also could thin into a frustrated pout. I honestly ignored which was the worst: seeing him angry or seeing him happy because he knew perfectly well that someone would suffer.

His face could seem angelic at first sight, but this simple thought could turn out fatal. Because if someone wasn't careful with that man, everything was over.

"You asked for me, Mithos?" I asked with a sigh, not moving from the spot I was standing. I was the only person in this place who could call him by his first name and that was because I knew him from a long time ago. Everyone else had to either call him 'Father' or 'Yggdrasil', which was his family name. Surprisingly, Mithos hadn't always been like he was now. When he was young, he had been a very sweet child that only wanted the best for others. I had met him at the time when his father had taken me in his care. I had lost my parents when I was very young and, having no place to go, his father had taken me in to make me one of his yakuza. I had quickly learned to prove myself so that I could have a roof under which I could stay. He had accepted me in his house where I had met Mithos. Quickly, he got closer to me so that I could help him put his plan to execution. Since when he would grow up, his father would naturally hand him over the task of taking care of the yakuza, he wanted to change that cruel system that involved collecting other people's money thanks to terror and violence into something good that would help those people. I was fast to agree that request because I had never liked to hurt others, which such a work involved. Since that moment, I was fast in getting an accelerated promotion so that I could prove my abilities in order to stay near Mithos. The way I had to use wasn't delightful at all, but it was necessary and soon, I had the position of first lieutenant at the same time as Mithos was taking over the business as a 'Father of the family'. I was greatly hoping that everything would go for the better, that we would be able to change things. Unfortunately, Mithos learned that he loved the money he received much more than he had thought. I knew perfectly well that money could corrupt people, but to do it this much, I didn't expect it at all. It was with the utmost regret that I saw my friend change from the innocent little boy to a fearless and merciless man, from Mithos to Yggdrasil. That innocent little boy really was no more, even if I tried numerous times to bring him back without any success.

I followed his orders for a long time without a single complaint, believing that I didn't have a single choice in the matter. I thought that my life had been traced and that I was forced to follow it and stay among his people, forced to do this horrible work that meant collecting money from people and dispose of 'worthlessness' that stood in the middle of my way. Except that, some years from now, eight to be exact, I met the most wonderful woman in the world who shattered that stupid theory. Anna was her name and I had to admit that it fitted her well. A name so soft, yet cheerful and full of life, that never let itself get down. That was her spitting image.

The first time I met her, she was chased by delinquents. Was it for her money, for her body or for something else? I didn't know. I simply knew that before I was even thinking about it, I was saving her from them, beating the hell out of them all to teach them a lesson. She thanked me many times, asking me what she should do to show me her gratitude. I told her that I needed nothing, but she insisted, so she ended up inviting me over for dinner. In the end, even if I wasn't someone who opened up and talked to others, I'm still not someone like that actually, she was successful in extracting words from me, words that soon became a real conversation. I accidently talked about the work I was doing and, when I realised my mistake, I apologized and made a move to leave, but she begged me to stay. Weirdly enough, she didn't seem scared at all to have a yakuza near her. Usually, when I spoke of my 'occupation', if we could say the least, people were avoiding me with fright, refusing to talk to me or even approach me. But Anna hadn't done such a thing. Instead, she contented herself with smiling happily at me before asking me even more information about me. I was so bewildered that it took me awhile before I could answer. And finally, I declared to her that I wasn't with the yakuza for the sheer delight of it, but rather because I felt that I had to and I didn't know a way out of it. It was with goodwill and wisdom that she explained to me that I could live the life I wanted, that there were many other possibilities before me. Her words had been so persuasive that soon, I found that I was in love with her and that my world was turning only around her instead of Yggdrasil. After a year, we were already marrying each other to have a son the next year. A son that had now grown so much considering the years I had been able to protect them. My little Lloyd of which I'm so proud of. He really couldn't tell how much I couldn't wait until I was out of that world so that I could have a job that would make him as much proud of me.

I must have seem lost in thoughts since I heard a cough coming from my boss, sign that I should return back to reality and listen to what he had to say. After all, it wasn't for nothing that he had called me and making him wait would be a huge mistake. "Yes, I did call you, but you seem tired Kratos." I raised an eyebrow at the statement. Was I dreaming or was Yggdrasil worrying about me? It was the first time I was hearing something such as this coming out of his mouth. Usually, he would have gone straight to the point without mentioning a single thing of the fact that I might be tired. Something wasn't right and I had to admit that I didn't like it one bit.

"No, I'm all right. I was just a little lost in thoughts." I simply answered with a shrug, wanting badly to know what was plotting inside that mad man's head. I had to find as fast as possible or it could cost me dearly. Since I didn't know of any special plan, it surely meant that it concerned me. Moreover, his eyes were screwed up in the very manner that I always knew I should expect nothing good out of. If my suspicions were turning out to be exact, I had to be wary of him. Nothing good could come out of this conversation today...

"And yet, I'm sure that you could use some rest." He pressed the matter, his smile widening. "You work so hard for me all the time, taking a day off from time to time isn't such a bad idea, don't you think?" A soft laugh that could send shivers down anyone's spine escaped his lips. "Am I not nice? I'm taking such good care of you, Kratos!" He purred in his honeyed voice. I could not help the shudder from making its way on my entire back, even though my body stayed still as much as it could. I had learned over the years not to show any emotion in his presence. That too could prove deadly.

However, I could not let go of that strange feeling that grew inside of me. It was as if Yggdrasil was trying to get rid of me, that he truly wanted me to go back home. Besides, I couldn't understand why, it wasn't like I didn't know everything that occurred in and outside of this building, even the most secret missions. I frowned, trying to discern the hidden meaning behind his words.

Sending me back home...

And finally, I caught on with horror what was going on. Yggdrasil wasn't trying to hide something from me, but rather _show_ me something! And this something could only be happening at my house at this very moment! Anna... Lloyd... They had been discovered!

Despite the storm that was raging inside me, I kept an impassive face before Yggdrasil in case, just in case, that I would be assuming things and be wrong. But it was hard. My skin wanted to grow as pale as a ghost and my whole self wanted to tremble violently from the shock. If only I could be wrong!

I let a sigh escape my lips to pretend that this whole thing was annoying me, although it did help to relieve some stress, even just a little. "If you truly want me to." I declared in a monotonous tone. This seemed to disappoint him because he pouted in disappointment at such little reaction coming from me, only increasing the fright already huge inside of me. "I'm doing everything I can to find you some time to rest when we are all very busy and that is how you thank me?" I could immediately discern anger in his voice. This time, I sighed once more and bowed my head slightly while releasing some of my mask to show a weak smile of gratefulness. Yggdrasil was already concocting something evil, if he had to get furious now, I knew for sure that I would be too late for my family. "Forgive-me. It is just that I wasn't expecting a day off and I didn't know how to react. Thank you very much for your compassion." I lied in a soft voice, vaguely searching for the right words as to not divulge anything I could be really feeling. He now appeared to be in a better mood and showed me his evil smile once more. "Ah, that is a much better reaction." He still seemed to be disappointed by the fact that he couldn't read any emotions of fear on my face, but I wasn't about to give him the pleasure of watching me lose my composure. If he had truly found my family and had hurt them, he would never receive any pleasure on my behalf, I could swear it.

I bowed my head a little to say goodbye to him before I turned around in a curt movement to leave this place on a step that seemed calm and precise, my expression still wearing that impassive look. I walked this way until I arrived at the entrance of the building so as to be certain that Yggdrasil wouldn't surprise me with a look of anxiety just in case he would have decided to follow me, even just for a bit of time. At the mere display of fright, he would immediately be satisfied of his plans and would know at once that he had discovered everything. However, I preferred to die than to give him this pleasure.

Finally, when I was certain that he would not see me, I dashed out of the place and ran as fast as my legs allowed me to. I arrived to my car in a matter of seconds and, although I can't say I really remember what happened, I know that I had never started a car as fast as I had before leaving in a hurry, not concerning myself with the traffic at all. My mind was too occupied by the fact that my wife and my child could be in grave danger. I vaguely remember tooting in my direction since, on several occasions, I almost wrecked another car. I never stopped to apologize though, nor did I take the time to note if I had done any damages. I'm not sure if it was some sort of guardian angel that was protecting me, but I could swear that it was effective.

The more I approached my destination, the more I caught sight of ash grey smoke coming from... my neighbourhood! My eyes widened in horror as I ascertained that fact. This couldn't be... no, this couldn't be!! I think that my foot weighed up much more on the throttle and it was a miracle that no policeman had chased me yet.

Just before I arrived in my street, I saw two police officers guarding the place to prevent anyone from coming in, as well as a yellow banner blocking the street, proving to me that something horrible had happened. Even if the intense smoke was enough as a proof, to see the police officers was being more of an impact. There was no place left for the little hope that had lingered inside of me earlier to disappear little by little as time passed.

I parked my car on the roadway without really looking where I was placing it, not having the time for it and nor did I care. I left quickly before I started running once again as fast as previously, ignoring completely the two policemen who were trying to stop me. Once again, I was hoping. Hoping that this smoke was coming from another house, that my wife and son were both safe and sound while looking at the fire as spectators. Or if the fire truly was coming from my house, hoping that they had come out just in time.

And then, I froze in place, my body not able to move anymore except for the violent shaking that had taken a hold of me, my pupils narrowing with terror at the show offering itself before me.

There stood a once charming little house that was devastated by a one thousand raging fire. The blue-grey walls had taken an ash colour amongst the orange of the flames and they seemed to be completely blurry. The black roof was rumbling harshly, like a complaint, ready to fall down on the house without any mercy. The windows, which faced outside, had all burst out because of the intense heat and glass was scattered everywhere on the grass. The heat was so intense that I could feel it on my skin, even though I was meters away from it.

The bright orange reflected itself in my eyes, growing and growing each second even though water was poured to calm it. I only realised now that firemen were trying to _make it dye_, although they seemed to have great difficulties. The fire was tenacious, he climbed higher and higher, exhibiting itself proudly before the destruction it was causing, not caring in the least about the feelings it could cause in others. Except maybe in my case. It was as if he was sneering, mocking me openly for my mistakes, for having been reckless. This fire was Yggdrasil himself; it was my punishment for having dared start a family, for hiding it and betraying my master.

That was enough to take me back to reality and I dashed in my house's direction with the intention of saving my family. I could not leave them in there! They surely must still be alive, they _had_ to still be alive! They couldn't die now, no... not now...

"_**Anna! Lloyd!**_" I yelled with huge despair in my voice. I was praying for all the Gods in the world that they were both still alive, that they had been able to get out! My wife, my child!

Suddenly, I felt that someone was pulling on my two arms, stopping me in the process and I was forced to stop. Why were they stopping me? I didn't have time for this! I had to go save them before it was too late, I had to save them!!

Strange how losing someone dear could make one so irrational. I knew perfectly well that throwing myself in the flames could kill me, or at least wound me gravely. I would accomplish nothing at going to get them, maybe it already was too late. And yet, I struggled bluntly, trying to make them go. "Let me go! _Let me go_!" I screamed, my voice now panicked. "I have to save them, let me go!" If the tears weren't falling off my eyes yet, I knew that they wouldn't take time before arriving. I think that the men who were holding me back answered me something, but I couldn't recall their exact words. All I knew was that they were refusing to let me go and I had to wrestle my way out even more.

Two other men joined the two first as to prevent me from going any further. Still, I was determined to win against them and struggled like hell, keeping my gaze fixed on the house, as if I was begging the fire to stop his devastation so that he could let me go inside. And it was then that I saw the roof collapse hardly on the house and, this time, my face was automatically stained with tears. My pupils narrowed and when finally the information was registered in my brain – which seemed like she was trying to avoid – I stopped struggling. "_**Nooooooooo!!! Anna! Lloyd!**_" I yelled once again to soon after collapse on my knees, sobbing with my face between my hands. I knew now too well that I couldn't anything anymore, that I had arrived too late. If only I had had more minutes, if only I had known what Yggdrasil had been planning...

Anna, Lloyd... why, why did you have to suffer like this?!

I didn't notice the firemen finally regain the upper hand over the fire who diminished little by little, losing its glory until it died completely. I didn't notice the policemen who had just arrived and were asking questions to the people around to know what exactly had happened, if they knew anything that could have caused the fire. What I did notice, though, was the ambulance drivers who were leaving the house's rubbles with bodies covered by a white sheet on stretchers. Seeing them, I stood up slowly, my body feeling heavy. It was as if I had lead in my legs and arms as I approached the stretchers. "Anna... Lloyd..." I murmured, unable to raise my voice even more than I spoke right now. I stretched my hand in the same direction, as if I thought that Anna would get up and take my hand with a smile. But when nothing happened and the ambulance driver nearest from me shook his head, I couldn't take it anymore. Completely broken, I fell once again on my knees and looked in the distance, my eyes completely empty of anything.

Never again would I see their smile. Never again would I hear that childlike laugh, which was a beautiful music to my ears. I would never hear the sound of their voice that welcomed me warmly when I came back from work. There wouldn't be any more sweet nothings between Anna and I, no more amusing games with Lloyd. My little Lloyd who would never see beyond his six years of age, who would never grow up to be a fine young man, proud and strong. To hold them in my arms would be impossible, their reassuring and joyous presence didn't exist anymore. I had lost everything completely, exactly like Yggdrasil had wanted. He had destroyed what I held dear to me.

Anna... Lloyd...

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**A/N**** :**

**Saenda : **I hope you liked that chapter! And I hope I impersonated Kratos well! And sorry in advance for all the mistakes, we don't have any Beta lol.

So next chapty will be Littlerosebud's, in Yuan's point of view. Be sure to read it, it'll be great!

And now, please review everyone! We would really appreciate it! Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

**A****/N :  
**

**Littlerosebud : **Here for you, dear readers, the second chapter, in Yuan's point of view! Enjoy, everyone!!

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**Chapter 2 (Yuan's P.O.V)**

I woke up slowly to the sound of my phone ringing continuously. I groaned in annoyance as the ringing hurt my sensitive ears, but even so I didn't get up. I was sure I hadn't slept more than an hour. I cracked an eye open and threw a glance at my clock. Nice... It was reading four thirty in the afternoon. I had slept only half an hour. I turned my face away and buried it in my pillow, trying to ignore the annoying sound. It eventually died down and was replaced by my answering machine. Despite myself, I listened to the message and recognized the voice of one of my working colleagues.

"Yuan, I know you're there. Listen, I would like to let you rest, but the chief is asking that you come to the police station as fast as you can. Something must have come up. It looked urgent, so I suggest you don't make him wait too much... You know he can be scary when he's pissed off!"

The voice died down and I knew it wasn't a joke because of the alarmed tone of my colleague. I also knew that it wasn't really wise to ignore orders from the chief... But I hadn't had a day of in weeks...

The chief had assigned me on the case of a serial killer who had already taken the life of about ten young women. They were morbid murders, all perpetrated in the same manner; the victim was strangled to death and her corpse brutally violated. After the second murder, I had been immediately put on the investigation, after asking to take care of it. That type of murderer disgusted me and I had promised myself to bring that mad man to justice. But it wasn't that easy. He was clever... too clever. My team and I had searched every corner of the crime scenes, sure that this killer would leave some clues at one point, some traces that we could use to track him down! But he left nothing behind. He was a shadow, striking at the time and place we never would have guessed, merging into the darkness again once his deed accomplished.

I was tracking him for two months now without respite, two long months without even a single day off. Only my determination was keeping me from giving in to the tiredness, but sometimes, I couldn't help but think that I was wasting my energy in vain... Today was one of these days. So I asked the chief to give me a day off and he complied straight away, seeing that I couldn't keep up that cadence for long now.

So why was he asking for my presence now? Maybe he had gotten precious information on that psychopath... I sighted deeply and rubbed my forehead. Even if I needed sleep badly, I couldn't bring myself to ignore the chief's orders, especially if it could be the way to put that killer behind bars... I sat up slowly on my bed and grimaced when a sharp pain ran through my head. I reached for my bed table and took the painkillers. I got up and stumbled to my kitchen in search of a glass of water. I swallowed the pills and got to the bathroom, watching my reflection in the mirror. I needed to look at least presentable before going to the police station. I grimaced again while observing my reflection. My too pale skin made me look like I was sick and I wore dark rings under my eyes. My long blue hair was a complete mess. I rapidly combed my hair and tied them up, leaving a long bang to cover my right eye. I noticed that I was still in my uniform. I then remembered having collapsed on my bed seconds after arriving to my apartment, not even having the strength to change myself. I tightened the knot of my tie and straightened my clothes. Okay. Now, I was at least presentable. I caught something quick to eat in the kitchen. Something told me that I wouldn't have the time to eat decently tonight... again. My feet led me to the small entryway. After all, I was far from having the biggest apartment in the city... Not like I would need something bigger, considering how little time I passed in here. I put on my coat and placed my m9 type pistols at my waist. I rarely used them, preferring to use kendo instead. But another protection was never too much in this job... Sure that I hadn't forgotten anything, I got out of my apartment and locked it before walking to my car.

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I stopped my vehicle in front of my department, the central direction of the judicial police that takes care in particular of searching and tracking dangerous individuals. I was transferred in that department three years ago and I never regretted it since then. Before that, I worked for four years for the department of public security that specialises more in minor crimes. But something was missing. I was feeling out of place there. When I was offered a post in the judicial police, I accepted right away. A bigger danger never scared me.

I climbed rapidly the stairs to the entrance and pushed the glass door. The secretary at the entrance greeted me with a sweet smile and I smile in return, though with less ardour. My mood wasn't exactly at its highest, I must admit. The chief better had a good reason to take back the day off he gave me. If not, he would have to suffer my foul temper. I walked down the corridor that led to my boss' office. When I got to the door, I knocked loudly on it and waited, hoping that he was on the other side and that I wouldn't have to search in the entire department to find him.

"Come in, it's open." The low-pitched voice of the chief reached me through the door.

I obeyed and opened the door of the office always overloaded with files. The chief was sitting behind his desk. He was clutching a smoke at his lips and the hard features of his face were serious. That didn't mean anything good... I closed the door behind me to prevent anyone from eavesdropping. The chief lifted his gaze on me and I'm sure he saw the worry written on my face.

"I understood that you wanted to see me for an urgent matter, chief Bryant?" I asked him, trying to hide the doubt and worry under a calm tone.

Regal Bryant got up and turned his back on me and I saw a curl of smoke raise in the air. I grimaced in disgust despite myself. I will always wonder what he likes so much in these death sticks... Bryant turned his head lightly and fixed his gaze on me again, like he was awaiting something from me.

"Well, sit down. What I'm about to say is really important." He informed me while showing the chair in front of me with a gesture of his hand.

I sat down halfheartedly, not liking what his words were implying in the least. In this domain, I got used to the fact that "important" usually meant something bad... At the least, it was never good news. I glanced at the chief's large back, waiting in silence for what he had to announce.

"Yuan, I would like you to abandon the case of that serial killer." He told me in a steady voice, turning to face me.

I simply looked at him, stunned. He couldn't really have... asked me to drop the investigation? After all the time I spent on it? I felt a whirlwind of emotions rising dangerously in me and I had to contain myself to not let loose an irrational anger. I clenched my fists and stared at him.

"I don't understand. Why do you want me to abandon the case? I'm not good enough? If that's the reason, I assure you I'm doing the best I can to catch that psycho!" I protested harshly, barely containing my anger and incomprehension.

Bryant's hand passed over his eyes in a tired gesture and he sighed. He put out his cigarette in the ashtray and sat back, locking his calm gaze in mine.

"Calm down and listen to what I have to tell you. I'm well aware of the fact that you put your all in that investigation and that it still doesn't get results. Consequently, I'm currently wasting the talent of my best officer and I can't allow it anymore." He explained in a deep voice I deemed too calm.

I instantly got up and banged my hands violently on the desk, throwing daggers at Bryant. I couldn't contain my anger anymore.

"So if I understand correctly, you want to drop the case!? And all these victims and their families, _who_ will avenge them? That man is way too dangerous; we can't let him roam the streets!!" I screamed my anger, oblivious of the fact that I should remain polite with my chief.

I was pissed off beyond belief. I never would have imagined that Bryant could take the investigation away from me and let it unresolved. It left me the impression that all these sleepless nights, all those days passed at tracking down that dangerous criminal were completely insignificant. Like these two months was a waste of time! I shook with anger and tried to suppress my impulses. Bryant wasn't helping me in the least. He was still displaying that calm facade that I so wanted to rip away right now. He folded his arms and looked at me with a severe glance.

"You should at least let me finish, Yuan. I'm _not _dropping the case. Only, I want to assign you to a new investigation, one on which you will not lose your time for nothing. I will put someone else on the case of the serial killer."

Hearing his words, I felt my anger melt away to become mere deception. Deception, because I would never see the conclusion of that case on which I worked so hard. But I knew that no matter how much I would protest, Bryant would not change his mind. I knew him too well. He was determined to assign me to a new case. I slowly sat back in the chair and dropped my gaze.

"Is that not just a gentler way to show me my failure to stop that criminal?" I pronounced my fears despite myself.

I heard Bryant laugh gently and I looked at him, outraged. How come he could laugh in this situation? There was nothing funny at all! I think he saw the indignation on my face because he soon stopped laughing and smile gently instead.

"You should know since a long time ago that I have faith in you, in your capacities. The reason why I transfer you on another case is because an incident was reported to me and I have no one to take the investigation. I thought of giving it to you." Bryant explained in a softer tone, seemingly considering that I had calmed enough.

I understood his reasons but I couldn't stop myself from being disappointed by his decision. But I knew protesting would achieve me nothing and I would get the case whether I wanted it or not. I resigned myself and showed a mask of impassibility and determination.

"What is it about?" I asked him simply with a neutral voice.

Bryant took a folder on the top of a pile and handed it to me. I opened it and the pictures of two victims horribly burned at the point where they were unrecognizable immediately caught my eye. Despite all my years working as a police officer, I was still being moved when I saw images like that. Bryant leaned towards me, trying to get my full attention.

"A fire started this morning in the Nanba district. The department of public security immediately sent police officers on the scene and the firemen put out the fire after many hours, but... the occupants of that house had no chance. It's about a woman and a young child." He explained in a serious voice.

I was staring at the pictures while listening to the words Bryant said. I couldn't help but to think the death of these people was unfair. Sometimes, I told myself I wasn't fit for this job. I was way too sensible. I forced my gaze away and looked at the serious face of my boss.

"I suppose the reason why the department of public security gave you this case is because it is a criminal fire?" I suggested despite knowing already the answer.

Bryant smiled a little and leaned back in his chair.

"You're a quick thinker, I like that! According to their message, they found some proof, but they didn't precise their nature. You will have to go yourself on the scene, the quicker the better."

"I figured as much. Man, I knew a day off was too much to ask..." I groaned in displeasure, not pleased at all to delay my much needed sleep.

I got up and took the folder with me. Bryant also got up and squeezed my shoulder with a strength that made me grimace. Really, that man wasn't conscious of his strength! I freed myself from his grasp in a subtle manner.

"I'm counting on you for this investigation! I await your report tomorrow morning without fail."

I nodded and shook the hand he was offering me.

"You can always count on me, boss. Okay, I'm off. I'll see you tomorrow."

I turned away and got out of the office. I sighed deeply. The day promised to go on forever...

* * *

I stopped my car before the security zone. Already, my gaze was looking over the rubble of what had been a house. It was nothing more than burning ashes and desolation now. I got out of my vehicle and saw two police officers coming towards me. I got out my badge to show them my identity.

"I'm the officer Yuan Ka-Fai from the department of judicial police." I announced my title clearly, certain that they already heard about my arrival.

"Ah! We were waiting for you, officer Ka-Fai. Follow us, please." The younger of the two asked me to follow him.

I nodded and followed his steps. We entered the security zone and walked to three police cars stationed opposite the burned house. I thought this was probably where they had stored the evidence they found. A ranked officer seemed to be waiting for me, for he was leaning nonchalantly against the hood of one of the cars. When I approached him, he smiled at me and reached a hand. I shook it and presented myself again.

"Officer Yuan Ka-Fai. And you are?" I asked for his name, wanting to know with whom I would be working.

"Officer Orochi Shibuya, from the department of public security. I'm proud to finally meet the best police officer from the judicial police! You're quite famous around here, you know!" He talked in an amused voice that annoyed me right from the beginning.

I couldn't comprehend how that man could grin like that when such a tragedy just occurred here! I thought his attitude was degrading and was not befitting of a serious police officer. It was all I needed to hate this man before even knowing him. I must admit that I was the kind of man to easily judge someone and I was rarely mistaken on them. Anyway, Orochi didn't deserve my liking and I made it so he would know it.

"Enough nonsense, I came here because I was told you had discovered evidence that suggested a criminal fire?" I got straight to the point, not making any efforts to hide my irritation.

Orochi's smile faltered a little. At least that man wasn't as dumb as he first looked. He moved away from the car's hood and circled the vehicle, motioning me to join him. I did as I was told, not wanting to extend my stay near this man. He opened the boot and took a small attache case. I opened it and frowned when I saw the evidence.

"Here is all we could find. All that was left in these ashes. There must have been more evidence, but it was all lost in the fire..." Orochi explained rapidly, but I ignored his words.

I slipped a pair of gloves to avoid touching directly the evidence. I lifted carefully something that looked like a gold locket and looked curiously at it. While watching it, I saw a little indentation in the metal, proof that it must have opened before, but the metal had melted and was preventing me from seeing what it contained. I put down the object and took a small bottle in what laid a yellowish liquid.

"Have you an idea about the nature of this liquid?" I asked Orochi firmly, certain that he would have at least thought of something.

I saw him taking out a cigarette and lighting it before taking a long draft. Not again... I seemed to attract the idiots that like to smoke. I threw him a dark glance but he didn't take notice. Orochi wasn't doing anything to gain my liking that was for sure.

"Well, from the texture and smell, I deducted it must be some inflammable oil, but only a thorough analysis will tell us of its nature. I can be wrong." He suggested in a knowing tone that just annoyed me further.

I put down the bottle where I took it with an irritation and impatience well shown. Orochi must have felt it for he stopped his blabbering and looked at me carefully. I saw that the attaché case only contained one more evidence, a small bag containing a white and dusty substance. I frowned.

"Where did you find this... powder?" I asked my partner without bothering to look at him.

"At several meters away from the scene. It seems the one that started the fire did his job badly. There was little chance the fire would spread to that extent..." He replied in a disdained tone.

I looked closer at the powder. Really strange. Up close, I couldn't recognize the substance. I replaced the bag and closed the attache case. I turned to face Shibuya, giving him all my attention.

"Take these evidences to the laboratory. I want them analyzed as soon as possible and I want the results as soon as they arrive. Got it?" I gave him my orders, leaving no place to argue.

I saw Orochi lose his smile completely and he scowled. He didn't seem to like receiving orders. What a shame that I was more ranked than him...

"We will get them analyzed as soon as we can..." He answered coldly.

I turned my face to hide a satisfied smile and that is when I first caught sight of him. I couldn't say why but I found myself unable to turn my gaze away from that lone figure. It was a man, sitting in the background of the rubble, his gaze lost in the remains of what was once a house without really seeing them. Two police officers were standing near him, wanting to make sure he wouldn't do anything careless. Ma curiosity was immediately sparked.

"Who is that man?" I asked Orochi with my gaze never leaving the stranger.

Orochi followed my gaze and frowned when he saw the object of my curiosity.

"We tried to interrogate him, but he doesn't want to tell us anything. The only thing we learned from him is that this was his house. The victims must have been his wife and son." He answered me with an irritated voice.

I felt my heart clench when I thought about the pain this man must feel. To lose someone precious to you and being completely helpless to save them... I knew that feeling all too well. That feeling of complete emptiness, like you were falling into a dark and endless abyss... I felt myself inexplicably attracted to that man. I turned to face Shibuya.

"I'm counting on you to give me the results of the analysis when they arrive. You know where you can join me. Also, I want to be informed if new evidence is found." I ordered him as I got out of my pocket the card of my department and giving it to him.

Orochi seemed to take it halfheartedly. He glared at me and I excused myself. I walked towards the man that so strangely caught my eye. I barely heard Orochi telling me a good evening. I rejoined the small group and the two police officers greeted me politely.

"Good evening. Could I talk to that man for a moment, alone?" I got straight to the point, knowing that they will not turn down my request.

They looked at me, their faces showing hesitation. They seemed to consult each other before nodding their heads.

"Very well, Officer Ka-Fai. But I'm warning you, he probably won't respond to your questions. He refuses to talk and only sits there." One of the officers told me with a tired tone.

"I thank you for the advice, but even though I will try." I replied in a firm tone, letting him know that I wouldn't change my mind.

The two officers moved away reluctantly, throwing me furtive glances along the way. I paid them no mind. Rather, I looked at the stranger. I couldn't see his face very well since he obstinately looked at the ruins of what had been his house. I sat next to him, being careful to leave some distance between us. I looked at him sideway and I saw him tensing up. At least, he was conscious of my presence. He was surely expecting me to assault him with annoying questions like the other officers did. I did not. A silence crept between us, a silence that was, without even knowing the reason, far from uncomfortable. Soon, I saw him relax when he wasn't drowned in questions. I took that time to observe him more closely. He didn't seem that much older than me even thought tiredness and the emotions of the day were shadowing his features painfully and made him seem older. His tousled auburn hair was falling before his eyes and was hiding them partially from my view. His eyes, reflecting a myriad of emotions and a heartbreaking pain were still refusing to leave the disaster. My heart squeezed painfully again as I felt the grief and pain that seemed to vibrate in his whole body. It radiated from him with so much power... I forced my gaze away and swallowed hard as my throat tightened. I tried to keep the memories that were threatening to swallow me at bay and I didn't notice that the man was looking at me. But I did notice when a violent shiver ran through his body as a cold wind blew hard. I put out my coat and offered it to him without thinking.

It was then that I locked gazes with him for the first time. I stopped breathing when his dark pupils plunged into mine. They were reflecting so much pain that I could not even begin to imagine the wound of his heart. I felt myself unable to turn my gaze away and I jumped when his cold hand brushed against mine as he took hold of the coat I was offering him. He looked away and put my coat on his shoulders.

"Thanks..." He whispered in a weak and hoarse voice.

I didn't manage to answer back and simply averted my eyes. Several minutes passed before his deep voice broke the silence again.

"I thought you had some questions to ask me." He spoke in a voice filled with bitterness.

My lips curled in a sad smile and I looked at the darkening sky.

"You're right, I have many questions, but I know now is not the time to ask for answers..." I vaguely explained before looking back at him.

My words seemed to obtain his attention fully. His dark eyes stared at me with confusion.

"I also lost someone dear to me long ago. I think I understand the pain you're going through and the desire to be left alone... And being harassed is surely the last thing you need right now..." I whispered in a broken voice as my memories engulfed me and I pushed them away again.

He must have felt the sincerity of my words for his features softened and a heavy sadness replace the confusion in his eyes. I couldn't bear such a glance. I never could. I averted my eyes again and chew nervously on my lower lip. Without knowing why, that man was making me act differently. I never felt so... nervous with anyone before. These last years, I had built up a facade to hide my true emotions from the others. But that man... That man gave me the impression that he could see the very depths of my soul. I had the sudden urge to get away from that stranger, but at the same time my heart wanted his closeness... I angered against myself at my own indecision. Then I noticed he was still looking at me and the expression on his face told me my inner battle had shown on my features. Shit. I sighed deeply. I was overly tired and I wanted nothing more than to get back to my apartment right now but I couldn't leave this man alone in his state.

"I'm Yuan Ka-Fai, officer from the department of the judicial police." I presented myself while offering my hand, hoping to at least hear his name.

I saw him hesitate one second before shaking my hand.

"Kratos Aurion." He simply answered with a tired voice.

I didn't push him further, knowing too well that his name was all I would obtain tonight.

"Do you have a place to go to?" I asked him as the perspective of seeing him sleeping outside tonight left a bad taste in my mouth.

I heard him laugh but it wasn't straightforward. It was tinged with bitterness and what I think was disgust. I looked at him with confusion as he shook his head softly and a sad smile spread on his face.

"There's somewhere I could go, but... I would prefer to die than to go there!" Kratos spoke with an anger barely conceived. I frowned before his change in attitude.

"Then why not the hospital? They take in people who lost their home in an incident and have nowhere else to go." I proposed and saw that sad smile again.

"I can't go there..." He whispered while looking at the remnants of his home.

I didn't understand the meaning of his words and that sparked my curiosity. Why in the world would the hospital not accept him? I forced myself to think of a reason but I came empty... I shook my head. I was losing the important matter. Kratos had nowhere to go. Without thinking, I took a pen and a piece of paper out of my pocket and wrote down my address and my phone number. I handed him the piece of paper.

"Here is the address of my apartment and my phone number. If you ever want to talk to me or need a place to sleep, don't hesitate." I proposed him in a firm tone.

I saw his eyes open wide in surprise for a split second before he took hold of the paper. I got up under his inquisitive gaze and began to walk away when I heard his voice behind me.

"Wait! You forgot your coat!" His strong voice reached me clearly.

I turned my head slowly and looked at him from my shoulder. He too had gotten up and was holding my coat in one of his hands. I smiled at him.

"Keep it. It will give you an excuse to come see me!" I told him in an amused voice.

I didn't wait for his answer and walked away rapidly. It was only when I had started up the engine of my car and that I began to drive towards my apartment that I realized I had invited a perfect stranger to stay at my place. I should have been angry at myself, but strangely, I thought I _had_ to do it. Sure, I didn't know a thing about that man, but he gave me the impression that I had known him for my whole life. No, I didn't regret it. I then thought about what Kratos said concerning the hospital. I frowned. I knew for certain that the only people the hospital didn't accept were criminals... I shook my head and forced that thought to go away. One thing was for certain; Kratos was hiding something and it could be a vital element for the investigation. One way or another, I would see Kratos again and that thought warmed me up inside. I surprised myself hoping for Kratos to come live with me for a while. I was sick of the solitude.

Really, I didn't regret my decision. But I was far from doubting it would change the rest of my life...

* * *

**A****/****N :**

**Littlerosebud : **Hope you liked this chapter! There may be some mistakes, since Saenda and I are not native English people. And like Saenda said in the first chapter, we don't have any beta. So please bear with us!!

Next chapter will be from my lovely Saenda. Don't miss it!!

And reviews are really, _really _appreciated! We will give cookies to anyone who reviews!! ^_^ Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**** : **We still do not own Tales of Symphonia. But if only there was a way… *sigh*

Sorry for the delay, with exams coming, I was giving time to my studies in priority. Thanks to Little Rosebud who translated this chapter for me, because you wouldn't have anything before Friday *laugh*

Now on with the chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter**** 3 ( Kratos' P.O.V )  
**

"Here is the address of my apartment and my phone number. If you ever want to talk to me or need a place to sleep, don't hesitate." He offered to me in an assured and firm tone.

At his words, I could do nothing more than to observe him with wide eyes. Had I heard well? He was offering me, a perfect stranger, to stay at his apartment? But why, it was simply the most idiotic thing to do! What made him think that I might not be some psychopath ready to kill him if the chance ever occurred? He was a policeman; he should have been the first one to have learned to not trust strangers!

And yet, the idea alone to have a place to stay other than _there_, to have someone I might be able to confide into reassured me. I didn't know why though, since he was after all a stranger to me too.

Emerging from my torpor, I took the paper he was offering to me and vaguely observed it, verifying the address. I soon realised that his apartment wasn't far from the building that held Yggdrasil's little 'family'. That fact made me frown slightly. If ever I went to his place, one of my superior's men could easily follow me. Maybe going wasn't such a good idea. After all, I didn't want to be exposed as what I truly was, fearing to be arrested, and I didn't want to put this stranger in danger when he was one of the rare people who showed me kindness. I growled softly at the thought of having to live at the headquarters forever when I realised suddenly that the one named Yuan was moving away. My eyes drifted to his coat and I stopped him. "Wait! You're forgetting your coat!" I exclaimed, not wanting to keep something that didn't belong to me. I got up, the coat now off of my shoulders and I was holding it in one hand, ready to give it back. However, when he turned his head in my direction, he was smiling in such a way that I knew immediately he wouldn't take it back just yet.

"Keep it. It will give you an excuse to come see me!" He told me in an amused voice. I couldn't withdraw a discouraged growl as I noted that I had been right. Now I would be forced to go see him because keeping something that didn't belong to me was out of the question. Especially if Yggdrasil saw it, I could say farewell to my being. I did just notice that he was truly possessive of me and that the simple fact of knowing someone who wasn't in his 'family' was considered a crime on my behalf.

I watched him move away to his car before I let out a discouraged sigh escape my lips. My eyes drifted to the ruins that were once a magnificent little house and they misted into sadness once more. Why...? Why had I not been more careful? After all these years, I was sure that I had stayed on my guard and yet, today had just proved me I must have loosened it as time went by since Yggdrasil had never done anything. Everything was because of me... if only I had watched everything I was doing, may it be in my moving, my escapes from the headquarters or my words amongst the other members of the 'family'. I could have avoided all of this, I'm certain...

A light wind blew in my direction and I instantly felt a chill all over my body. I put back the coat on my shoulders. Might as well use it if he let me keep it. My eyes lingered on the ruins for one last time, before I finally looked away. From now on, I would have to keep an impassive mask at all times and in front of everyone. I could not allow myself to show my pain to anyone, even less Yggdrasil. If he ever learned that I had been entirely destroyed, that people had seen me this way, I knew his pleasure would be increased tenfold. He would have gained what he wanted; he would have succeeded in making suffer his supposedly impassive subordinate.

My feet were back in movement while I was thinking of what exactly I should do now. My hand was playing mechanically in my pocket with the paper Yuan had given me while I was debating inside. I didn't want to follow him now, it seemed to me that it was still too soon. After all, the afternoon hadn't ended, I still had time to find a place to sleep other that the headquarters or somewhere where I would disturb someone. I refused to impose myself, it wasn't my style anyway.

My steps guided me to my car and I got in, sitting in the front seat with another sigh. My car was certainly the only thing I had left, all my other possession had burnt with my house. I had some spare clothes back at the headquarters, for the times I was forced to stay the night when I had too much work, but that was all.

My hand glided along my neck and took hold of a pendant hanging on a small chain. I opened it softly and looked with melancholy at the picture that presented itself before me.

On it were Anna and Lloyd pressed against me, smiling joyfully. And even if my own smile was colder than theirs, I could clearly see the same joy in my eyes. A joy I would never know again. It had died along with them.

I closed the pendant with a sharp slam and clenched it with a deep rage. Yggdrasil... It was all his own damn fault! If only that cruel being didn't exist, if only he would be captured and tried for all the despicable crimes he was committing! I couldn't let him live in peace after what he had done to me. My family absolutely had to be avenged and I would personally make sure that he would suffer like I did now! How? I didn't know. But I would find a plan and when it would be in motion, that treacherous man would pay for all he did!

The engine of my car started and it got on the road, my thoughts far away from there. But this time, however, I noticed with relief that I didn't seem to have caused an accident in my mad race towards my house. At least, it would be one less crime on my shoulders. It was the last thing I needed right now.

I was more careful this time and parked my car in the parking of that hateful building. I took some time before getting out, observing it vaguely, trying to build a mask that would be as convincing as possible. I couldn't possibly go in there with the risk of having cracks in my mask. Yggdrasil was too perceptive for his own good and would easily guess that he wasn't mistaking on my case and that of my family. The least I would tell him, the better it would be, especially since he would be furious to see no reaction on my part. That simple thought was enough for a smirk to make its way on my lips and I finally felt myself ready. Slowly, I removed the coat that was covering my shoulders to avoid having anyone asking me useless and embarrassing questions before getting out and locking my car, heading for the headquarters. I wasn't surprised to find the place as deserted as it was this morning. After all, the fund-raising often took all day, the time to go see all the clients. And often there were complications, between clients who didn't want to give their money and those who were begging to have more time.

I didn't even have time to reach my superior's office that in mid-way, I saw a waterfall of blonde hair before me. Straight away, the person turned towards me and I was welcomed by the mocking and cruel smile of Yggdrasil. A hand on his hip, he was in his entire splendor in his completely white clothes. I didn't know if it was because of a concern for a certain fashion or because he thought he was the purer of all, something he was very far from, but what I did know was that he disgusted me even more in these clothes. Always trying to be extravagant, to think he was greater than the others!

"Oh, Kratos! You're already back? Did you rest well?" He asked me in a sugary and innocent tone with a falsely surprised look.

I didn't know how I managed to contain myself because my brain reacted furiously. I wanted to strangle him, to kill him right on the spot, to show all the world's suffering to let him know of the pain I felt back then! "Yes, it was most refreshing." I didn't know I had so much control over myself. My voice didn't tremble nor did it betray any emotion. It seemed normal, even glum. I was however satisfied to see that it didn't please my superior since for a brief moment, his eyes creased with anger from my lack of reaction before returning to their usual malice. "I see. Then I'm happy to know it was of some use." He seemed to doubt. To doubt that I really had a relationship with the people he had murdered. To doubt I even had gotten there. Even if it wasn't visible for someone who didn't know him, I knew it perfectly. I was able to read it on his face, even if it was very subtle. I had to refrain myself from smirking. I knew he didn't regret what he had done, he would never anyway, but it was only the beginning of my vengeance. I also knew that the person that burned my house would tell him that I really had gotten to the place and I refrained myself to grimace with disgust thinking about the fact he would tell him how I had been literally broken. But if, at least, I didn't react to his advances, like I reacted normally, I knew he would be furious to see he didn't have complete control on my being. It was something I would never give him satisfaction for.

"Father, a delivery arrived at your name. It most certainly is the weapons you ordered from the Chinese mafia, but I didn't confirm it, I preferred to go get you." I saw a tide of red and orange advancing towards us and this time, discontent showed on my face. The boy that had arrived, a boy of around seventeen years old, noticed me and threw me an arrogant smile. "Oh, Who do we have here? It's Kratos! I'm surprised to see you here, after all, you haven't done anything all day!" He scoffed at me and threw a bang of his long hair behind his shoulder. Even in his black suit with his red and pinkish collar going up his jacket didn't change the fact that he resembled a woman too much. And even with that fact, women seemed to throw themselves at his feet. I sincerely didn't know what they saw in him; he was only a spoiled and arrogant child that thought he was superior to anyone besides Yggdrasil. "Tch! Then please pardon me, _oh_ great Zelos, for having received a day off." I replied with sarcasm evident in my voice. There was no way I would let myself be talked to in a disrespected tone like that.

But he didn't seem to understand the message since he retorted, "Oh! I didn't know you could be so useless!" That damn kid was really getting on my nerves and now certainly was not the time to let go of my anger. I had my share of emotion this morning; I didn't need him to add anymore.

I was going to reply, but Yggdrasil stopped me. "That's enough, Zelos. You worked well, you can go now." He spoke with a bored voice, seeing him off with a gesture of his hand. "As for you, Kratos, come with me. We have work to do with this delivery that just arrived." Zelos seemed about to protest, but changed his mind. He didn't have that kind of authority and I was a grade higher than him anyway. It was then normal that I was doing the most important work. Even more, each time we both were in the presence of our superior, Yggdrasil seemed to devote more attention on me, ignoring the younger of the two. Zelos was surely jealous of that 'complicity' between us, if I could call it that.

I ignored his murderous glance in my direction and followed Yggdrasil who was returning to his office. And even if I despised that teenager, I wished for him to never be as close to Yggdrasil as I was now. He would learn fast, even too fast that it certainly was the most difficult task of all.

* * *

I left the building like a whirlwind, my fists clenched, and my steps fast and furious. I knew beforehand that going to take care of that delivery alone with Yggdrasil, he would do all in his power to make sure that an emotion, even just one, would make its way on my face. I knew full well that I would have to keep my head cool the entire time, but it really was a task more difficult than I had thought. He had openly insulted my family, he had mocked them without respite! Even in death he couldn't leave them alone!

_The weapon seller left the room and Yggdrasil looked distractedly at the new __"__jewels__"__ that ha__d just arrived before saying, "You know, I heard that some house burnt down because of a violent fire today." I knew of what house he was talking about and it was clear he was bringing up the subject to see me react. However, I only lifted my head towards him with a look of soft inquiry. "Yes, and a woman and a child died." I did all I could to not wince and I frowned to tell him I didn't know where he was going. He only shrugged his shoulders. "It appears that the woman was stupid and that her child was a real incapable. Two things certainly disgusting that deserved death." He burst out laughing sadistically and I swore that in that moment, I had the irresistible urge to slit his throat. Yet there still wasn't any reaction on my behalf as I was studying a new weapon near me. He chew discreetly his bottom lip, a sign that he was thinking about what he could say more to make me react. "I sincerely hope that you'll never have a wife like that one, Kratos! It would be true waste coming from you!" He said with his sugary voice. "In any case, you are mine."_

_I think I succeeded in retaining the shiver of terror that was threatening to run down my back. It was not the first time he was telling me things like that, but it frighten__ed me all the time. Because I didn't know in what sense he was telling me this._

_He got up softly and circled his desk before __moving towards me with a new expression in his eyes, an expression from which I didn't want to know the signification. "Hey, Kratos…"_

_But he was suddenly cut out by hasty knocks on the door and a yakuza entered the room. I immediately recognized the woman, certainly the only one in the family from which the turquoise hair turning green were fastened in a ponytail except for two bangs on each side of her face falling on her shoulder and another one almost hiding her right eye. She was wearing a black dress that was sticking to her slim waist and was showing her generous cleavage. __She was also wearing shoes with high heels that could be heard miles away and that fact made me realize that I had been too much absorbed by the conversation I was having with Yggdrasil._

"_Lord Yggdrasil!"__ She exclaimed out of breath, a sign that she must have been running all the way here. Our superior threw her a disdainful and hateful glance, irritated with her for having disrupted him so. "You're bothering me, Pronyma." His words were pronounced slowly and the woman froze on place before closing her eyes as green as her hair, like she was afraid he would hit her. "I'm really sorry, Lord Yggdrasil, but I'm bringing bad news and they are urgent." She said in a lower voice, trying to hide the hesitation that was showing up. That woman was rarely acting like that; she resembled Yggdrasil a lot when it came to cruelty. Only he was able to scare her like that, as well as many others. _

_He sighed with discontent. "__Go on, talk foolish girl! I don't have all day!"_

"_Magnius is dead."_

_That had the effect of a cold shower on our boss. His eyes widened with surprise before creasing with anger. "WHAT?!" He yelled so loud that the walls almost shook. "What is this all about?!" He was red with anger, a thing that was rarely happening. He must not have anticipated something like that._

"_We think someone was aware of his actions and killed him. Whom, however, we do not have a clue." The young woman answered, trying her best not to tremble with fear._

_Seeing that Yggdrasil wasn't conscious of my presence anymore, I decided that it was time for m__e to leave. He would manage this situation full well without me._

_Discreetly, I slipped out of the room before leaving rapidly the headquarters, thinking back with anger at what Yggdrasil had said on my family._

I needed to get some fresh air to clear my head. I was in too much anger to do anything else. I was sincerely surprised that I had been able not to explode back there. How could he be so cold in front of a murder? Why was it making him laugh like that? What had possibly changed him like that compared to the sweet, innocent child he was once? There was money, yes… But was that all?

I noticed vaguely the yakuza that were returning from their fund-raising. Some of them had some stupid ravished expressions, confirming that they were returning from brothels where they had worked. They must have taken some good time after their work. Others were only satisfied with their day. They surely had taken out their frustrations on the poor clients who were trying to get out of their situations. That type of yakuza had only as much brain as the first type, meaning they had none. And finally, those we could categorize as the less stupid were returning with an impassible and professional expression on their faces. While seeing me, they bowed their heads and greeted me politely, but I didn't answer them, barely noticing them. I had way too much things in my head to waste time on them.

The hand in my pocket began to play with the piece of paper that was lying there. Immediately, my thoughts turned towards that strange police officer who had talked to me earlier today. I had to admit he was puzzling me. He had been, after all, the only officer not to ask me millions of questions on what had happened. However, wasn't that his job? I was surely the best witness since the house that had burnt down was mine. He should have taken me with him and dragged me to the police station, with force if it was necessary.

But instead of doing any of this, he had simply told me that it was the last thing I needed and he even helped me. The idiot had even given me his address and phone number! What kind of police officer was that?

I couldn't stop a small amused smile, the first and surely the last of the day, to dawn on my lips. Strangely, that man wasn't putting me on my guard, despite his strange manners. Even, he was reassuring me, putting me at ease. It was like he had intended to lift a weight off my shoulders and had succeeded. Who was he to make me act like that?

I stopped suddenly when I saw a building standing before me. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't seen where my steps had guided me and I had almost run into the apartment complex. I certainly would have looked stupid enough, something I could do well without.

Then I realized exactly _where_ my feet had gotten me as my eyes turned towards the numbers that were indicating the address and I turned paler. I got out the piece of paper in my pocket, like I was wishing to have been wrong, but I saw that effectively, I was standing before the building that was containing the apartment of that officer. Yet I had no intention of seeing him right now! I only had wanted to get some fresh air and I didn't want to bother him while I wasn't ready to talk.

I was going to leave, but the door suddenly opened and the man I didn't want to see froze in front of me, a hand still on the door with stupefaction. It seemed like he too wasn't expecting to see me this soon. He had a slightly mocking smile and he put his fist on his hip, looking me over. He was only deepening my shame. "Why, I didn't know you would come here this soon." He said in a voice softer and more understanding than last time.

I didn't notice it, however, since my brain was debating furiously to find an excuse for my presence here. All of a sudden, I remembered the coat and finally answered, "I had to give you back your coat, after all." I muttered, but loud enough for him to hear. He looked over me again, one eyebrow lifted, seemingly searching for something. And that is when I understood that I hadn't taken the coat with me. In my haste to get fresh air and my anger, I had totally forgotten it.

I mentally slapped myself as I looked elsewhere, feeling more and more stupid.

"I think you forgot to bring it." He remarked with humor, provoking a new mental slap on my behalf. Does he really have to remind it to me? "But it's okay." He added with a smile. "Why don't you come in? I mean, since you're here anyway, you might as well make yourself at home, don't you think?" He seemed happy at the idea of having me in his home and that made me frown. Was he stupid or something? I was only a stranger! Nothing exciting there, as I'm aware!

I sighed with discouragement and nodded. He was right. Might as well come in if my feet insisted so much that I come here.

He nodded with satisfaction before going in, motioning me to follow him and I did without saying a word. I distractedly observed my surroundings, looking at the apartment numbers, forging the image of the way leading to his apartment in my mind to prevent me from losing my way when I would return here alone.

Wait… Returning? Why would I go back here? Ah yes, to give him back his coat… Stupid clothing.

Finally he stopped in front of a door and, getting out a key, he inserted it in the lock and opened the door, inviting me inside. I did without a word. The entrance hall was tiny, there was barely place for us two to stand in there. I quickly took off my shoes before getting out of the way to let Yuan remove his own. All the while, I glanced at what I could see from here. At the end of the hallway, there was a simple kitchen with a four places table. It didn't seem cramped up, but it wasn't large either. Before the kitchen, there were two doors and I guessed one had to lead to the bedroom and the other to the lounge. The apartment was small, so that made sense.

He came next to me and smiled at me. "It's not spacious, I know, but I hope it will be enough for you." He scratched the back of his head with a laugh visibly embarrassed before moving forward in the means of making me visit, but there wasn't much more to show. He showed me the two rooms that I hadn't seen and I noticed I was right; it was effectively the lounge and his bedroom.

The lounge was as small as the rest of the apartment. There was a couch in the middle, facing a small television. A large bookcase was in a corner of the room, full with books, and a plant was bringing decoration besides it. There was a large window covered by a red wine curtain.

His bedroom was also really simple. A twin bed was in a corner, below a window and at the other side of the room, there was a drawer besides a wardrobe. An adjacent door was leading directly to the bathroom. A laptop was placed on a small desk. It was surely his area of work when he had reports to make.

My eyes returned to the twin bed and I frowned. There was enough space for both of us, but there was no way I was going to sleep with him. I didn't want to impose myself this much! My eyes widened slightly at my thoughts. I wasn't going to stay here, was I? I told myself before that it was impossible! I didn't want him to arrest me when he would learn I was a criminal and I also didn't want to put him in danger. I had to sleep elsewhere.

I had the impression he was reading my mind since Yuan turned to face me before answering my interrogations and negations. "Of course, I'm going to sleep on the sofa, so you can take my bed. And don't worry about staying here for as much time as you want, you won't bother me. I'm the one who invited you, after all. I'll live with the consequences." He said the last part with a bit of humor in his voice, understanding perfectly that I was wondering if he was aware that he could be putting his life in danger. Maybe he wasn't such an idiot after all.

I was going to decline his offer, to tell him I would bring him back his coat so that we never would cross each other's path again, but he was faster than me and cut me short, "Are you hungry? I can make you something if you want." My stomach growled suddenly, like a signal and I slapped my forehead lightly in discouragement. In the haste of the day, with all that had happened, I hadn't taken the time to eat, even less to think about it. And now, my stomach was protesting against it. It seemed to amuse Yuan for he laughed softly. "I think I have my answer." Without anything else, he put a hand on my back and pushed me towards the kitchen up to the table so I could sit down as he went to the fridge to find something to eat. The offer was really tempting and I didn't want to refuse it, so I only waited patiently for him to finish preparing the meal. Soon, the scent of fish invaded the room and I found myself sitting in front of a plate of salmon and white rice. "I'm not the best cook out there, but it should be enough, I think." Yuan sat next to me, even if he didn't have a plate of food before him. I rapidly understood that he must have already eaten. I began to eat and with the chopsticks still in my mouth, I realized that it wasn't bad. It was even really good. I think my gaze must have lightened up slightly because Yuan smiled again.

As I was savoring the food and that the police officer was observing me, he started the conversation. "So, what do you do for a living?" He asked me quite simply and I froze. Not because he had asked me what my job was and that I didn't want to tell him, but because since the moment I stepped in this place, everything was the same as the first time I met Anna. The way she had invited me in her home, the way she had prepared me a meal, the way she had started a conversation; it was all the same.

I put down my chopsticks in silence, my appetite suddenly gone. Thinking about my wife had brought me back to the reality of what happened this morning and I felt a surge of self disgust. I was disgusted because I was acting like nothing had happened, like my house hadn't burned and that my wife and son weren't dead. I shouldn't be here! I should be preparing their funerals, preparing a plan to avenge them. I shouldn't be messing around, but killing myself at the task for their… eternal rest.

Yuan noticed straight away my change of attitude and he became uncomfortable, but at the same time suspicious. After all, I was refusing right now to tell what kind of job I was doing. "Forgive me; I must have said something that made you think about something bad." He apologized softly, having no clue of what else to say. I shook my head. "No, I…" But I closed my mouth. What could I possibly tell him? That all that was happening right now was a perfect reproduction of the first time I met my wife? Surely not.

An idea emerged in my mind. If I wanted to put a plan in action and make Yggdrasil pay, I would need to help of the police at one point. And Yuan was just that, a police officer. Maybe it was my chance. Maybe it was destiny's way to tell me I had to act!

"I… know who murdered my wife and son." I said softly, looking elsewhere. Yuan jumped; he wasn't expecting a brusque change in conversation, neither did he expect to hear revelations like that. He frowned and listened intensely, his job taking over him.

"His name is Mithos Yggdrasil." At the mention of his name, Yuan turned paler and I understood he already knew him. Besides, who didn't know him? "Seeing you, I guess you already know who I'm talking about. Then I should not need to tell you that he is the head of a large family of yakuza and that he has an enormous power in Japan and over multiple great politic personalities. That is why he hasn't been arrested and tried for all the crimes he committed." I sighed. "Unfortunately, he didn't commit the crime himself, but I know he ordered someone to do it in his place."

Yuan didn't seem skeptical, unlike what I thought. However, I had expected the question that followed. "If he really is the one who ordered that, can you explain to me why? I'm trying to understand why he would do harm to a woman and a child who surely have never done anything to him." I had to tell him now, I couldn't go back. The probability of being arrested now was high and the idea wasn't really bothering me. I had crimes I needed to pay for. However, I had to avenge my family no matter what, so I hoped Yuan would grant me some time. "I myself am a yakuza. His closest subordinate, to be exact." I finally answered. I waited for any sort of reaction, but he did nothing. It was as if he was waiting for me to continue. It was my chance. "I know I committed numerous crimes and that I must be arrested to repent for them. However, I would like for you to wait. I want to make Yggdrasil pay for what he has done. Not only for my family, but also for all those who suffered because of him. And for that, I need your help. Yuan, I beg of you, grant me that time." I implored, my hands intertwined. It was strange, the way I was talking to him resembled the way I would talk to an old friend. Yet, we barely knew each other, making my words seem really impolite. Nevertheless, it wasn't bothering me, like it was natural.

"I will help you." I lifted my head in surprise and I looked at him with wide eyes. I wasn't expecting that answer. He was smiling gently. "I understand what you must have felt and I also understand that this man must pay for all he has done. It's my job to arrest him to make an end to this cycle of pain, to stop him to commit any other crime."

A sigh of relief passed through my lips and a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I would be able to avenge my family. "Thank you. I promise you I will give myself in at the same time as Yggdrasil."

"Oh, that will not be necessary." I started. Had I heard right? Had he really said he wouldn't need to arrest me?! "Wh-what?! B-but why?" I didn't understand. Why wouldn't he do it?

"Simply by listening to you, I understand that you're not amongst the yakuza by choice, am I right? I consider that your efforts right now are your mean to repent for what you have done. That's why I will not arrest you."

I bit my bottom lip harshly, but it was insufficient to stop the tears and I hid my face in my hands. He was… exactly like Anna. He had reacted in the same way, had accepted me in the same manner. I couldn't bring myself to believe it!

Without saying anything more, Yuan looked elsewhere all the while I was sobbing, pretending he wasn't seeing the tears, understanding perfectly my pain.

I could say I had made a precious friend.

* * *

**A/N : **And there you have it! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next one will be my dear Little Rosebud's, so be sure to read it, it'll be great! And it'll come faster since she doesn't have school to slow her down *laugh*


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 ( Yuan's P.O.V )**

The evening had been more eventful than I would have thought. After my encounter with Kratos, I got back to my apartment to write the report I had to give the chief in the morning. I made some simple food since I did not have the time to engage in anything complex, before sitting at my desk and typing my report. That had allowed me not to think about Kratos for a few hours. I didn't even know why my thoughts were constantly drifting towards him. Was it because that man reminded me of my own pain at the death of my wife? It had to be… I stopped working when my headache came back with full force. I got up to find the painkillers only to find the bottle empty. I remembered taking the last ones earlier today. I left my apartment to go to the pharmacy to get a new bottle when I saw _him _standing still before the building. I hadn't expected to see Kratos there so soon. But I was content of his presence. I knew he could keep the loneliness at bay, if only for a few hours. That's why I insisted that he come inside despite his reticence.

And now we were sitting at my kitchen table, him crying silently in his hands and me respecting his privacy by looking elsewhere thoughtfully. I let my mind drift to all he told me. Kratos was a yakuza. I had to arrest him; it was my job, my duty. But I couldn't do it… I didn't _want _to. I understood full well that he wasn't a criminal by choice, but by obligation. Because of that Yggdrasil. A shiver ran down my spine when I thought about that man. The head of the mightiest family of yakuza in all Japan. Even knowing this much, the police was unable to lay a hand on him. He was manipulating too much people, was having too many contacts to take the fall for him. All the officers that tried to arrest him died cruel and violent deaths… I realized that by promising Kratos to lend him my aid, I would have to oppose Yggdrasil, putting myself in the same mortal danger… I knew there was only one way I could take to arrest him and my chances of success would be near to null. But I had to do it. Kratos was counting on me and I would not let him down.

Leaving my thoughts, I looked at the clock and saw the late hour. The tiredness seemed to fall back on my shoulders and I remembered how much I needed to sleep. I stole a furtive glance at Kratos and saw he had stopped crying and was now looking back at me. For how long, I didn't know. I wasn't going to ask him what he was thinking about. I got up and couldn't stop a yawn to pass my lips.

"It's getting late now. I'm going to sleep. Oh, by the way, feel free to do as you please here. Seeing that it doesn't include doing a loud racket at night, we should get along well." I joked and saw a weak smile dawning on his lips.

His first real smile since I met him! I stood there speechless, my gaze fixed on that smile. It made him look _so _much younger… I surprised myself thinking he was rather handsome. I slapped myself mentally for even thinking that.

"Yuan?" I jumped when the worried voice of Kratos reached me.

I saw him get up slowly, confusion showing on his features. I realized I had been staring at him for a long moment now. I felt a blush creep its way to my cheeks with horror and I turned away from its cause before striding to my bedroom. I hurriedly took the clothes I would wear tomorrow from my wardrobe just as a pillow and a blanket. I got out of my room only to bump into Kratos who was staring at me with worried eyes.

"Are you okay, Yuan? You look…" He began to ask, trying to meet my gaze.

I laughed nervously and my reaction gave me the sudden urge to bash my head on the wall. I held back this suicidal urge and instead showed a face I hoped was neutral enough.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that I'm tired and I need to sleep." I told him only half the truth. It was true I tended to act weird when I was lacking sleep. It certainly was not because of Kratos. Certainly not. I saw him frown.

"In that case, I'm the one who should take the couch. You would sleep better in your own bed." Kratos proposed while looking closely at my face where dark rings were more than visible under my eyes.

I whispered and walked by him, heading towards the lounge. I turned around before going in.

"Don't be a fool. You are my guest and it's only natural that I offer you my bed. Anyway, I'm sure I wouldn't sleep better in my bed." I replied without bothering to explain my words.

He frowned again and I saw him open his mouth to speak but I interrupted him.

"I will not change my mind. Goodnight, Kratos." I whispered in a tired voice. He gazed at me for a few seconds before wishing me goodnight and entering my bedroom. He didn't close the door, though. I supposed he needed to know I wasn't far from him. I pushed that thought aside and entered the lounge. I put my clothes on the floor and undressed myself until I wore nothing but my underwear. I always slept that way and I didn't have the intention to change my habit because Kratos would live with me. I untied my hair and they fell freely on my back. I arranged my pillow and lied on the couch, covering myself with the blanket. I closed my eyes and waited to fall asleep. But I knew full well that sleep wasn't coming before a long time. Since Martel's death, my wife, I suffered insomnia. I was having difficulty sleeping without the heat of another human being besides me. Even now, after all these years, I often awoke panicked while seeing I was alone. But the prospect that I wasn't alone in my apartment tonight calmed me and I relaxed slightly. I pushed away my thoughts and tried to find a much desired sleep.

* * *

The alarm of my watch stirred me awake, telling me it was already time to get up. I groaned and opened my eyes and the sight of my lounge made me remember the events of yesterday. I sat up quickly and saw with surprise that a second blanket had been thrown on my shoulders. Kratos must have given it to me. I got up and covered myself with one of the blankets. I walked to my bedroom and threw a glance inside. Disappointment filled me when I saw the room was empty. The bed sheets were ruffled, making me believe Kratos had slept, or at least tried to. I could only imagine the nightmares he must had experimented. I turned away and entered the kitchen only to saw it empty. I sadly realized that Kratos was gone. I then noticed a small note on the counter. I took it and read what was written on it.

_Yuan, I'm sorry to have left without telling you, but you were sleeping soundly and I didn't want to wake you. I've returned to work. I can't let Yggdrasil know of what I'm plotting, so I must do like there's nothing wrong. I will come back tonight while being careful I'm not followed._

_P.S: I woke up in the night and saw that you were shivering so I got you another blanket. I also prepared a breakfast for you. It's in the fridge._

_Kratos_

I read several times the note written by Kratos. I felt an inexplicable happiness knowing that he had the intention of coming back again. But why was I acting like that!? I barely knew him… Has the loneliness made me so dependent that I was willing to become attached to anyone? No, I was sure it wasn't that. Kratos wasn't giving me the impression that he was a stranger. I had a facility to talk to him that I didn't have with the people closest to me. I looked at the time and cursed myself. I had only twenty minutes left before having to go to the police station. I had lost too much time. I took a quick shower and put on my uniform. I wrapped up and printed the report I had to give to Bryant. I opened the fridge and saw the breakfast Kratos made for me. A plate of sashimi with salmon, wrapped up in a box ready to take away. Incredible. It was like Kratos knew I wouldn't have the time to eat before going to work! By all means, I was more than happy to not having to prepare a breakfast for once. I took it with me and a realization hit me just before I left my home. Kratos didn't have a key. If I came back later than him today, he wouldn't be able to come in… I took the doubles of the key with me. Maybe I could meet him before the end of the day… if my plan would work. I left my apartment and took off towards the police station.

* * *

"You did WHAT!?" Bryant screamed at me, his cheeks red with anger.

I hadn't seen him in that state in a long time. I shrank unconsciously in my chair under his furious gaze.

"You heard me well; I told him he could stay at my place. He's got no home now! I defended my actions while knowing I had violated the established rules.

"I know that, but it wasn't your place to do so!! Your task is to interrogate him on what happened there!" Bryant fumed while casting me a murderous glance.

"But I did. I mean, he confided in me. He told me of his doubts on a potential criminal, or rather on the one who hired the responsible. » I replied immediately, trying to quell his anger if only a little.

Bryant leaned over the desk and joined his hands. A nasty gleam was still shining in his eyes. I was sure he had gotten out of bed on the wrong side. He was rarely in a foul mood like that…

"Enlighten me."

"According to him, it's Mithos Yggdrasil." I conceded and waited for Bryant's reaction.

It didn't take time to come. He looked at me with surprise and I swore I saw him turn paler. My fingers began to drum on my thighs out of nervousness under the strange gaze of my boss.

"… It must be a joke!? Why would a yakuza such as him waste time on killing a miserable family?" He muttered for himself since I almost didn't hear him. I saw him got out a cigarette and didn't think of protesting this time. It really was not the time. Rather I thought about his question and sought an answer. Kratos hadn't told me the reason, but I could easily guess it.

"I suppose he did it to teach him a lesson. Kratos is his highest subordinate. He must have disobeyed him and he punished him by killing his family." I surprised myself with the neutrality of my voice while saying such a horrible thing, but that seemed so true…

"So you mean to tell me you took in a _criminal_!?" Bryant hissed between his teeth, never leaving my gaze.

Shit. I had forgotten this little detail… I had to defend Kratos! I promised him I would protect him, not that I would sell him to the police. I looked Bryant in the face.

"Listen to me, please. Kratos never intended to serve him. True, he committed crimes, but never on his own free will. Is it just to condemn him for that!?" I tried to get him to understand my point of view.

I grimaced when I saw his eyes darken and his hand mashing violently his cigarette in the ashtray. Great. He was _really _irritated.

"So if I follow your logic, half of Japan's criminals could go freely under the pretext someone had forced their hand. How many times must I tell you to not let your personal feelings hinder your judgment!?" Bryant fumed and furiously took his head between his hands.

I felt bad to put him in such a state. I knew he was right, but I had gotten the habit to do as I thought best. In that case, helping Kratos to break free of his situation. But that didn't excuse the situation in which I was putting the man sitting in front of me. That man who did so much for me these last years. I dropped my gaze shamefully.

"I'm… I'm sorry, but I can't help it." I apologized without being able to look him in the eye.

"I know. I've known you for a long time. And you trust his words?" Bryant asked me seriously, regaining some composure. I lifted my gaze and looked at him, determined.

"Yes. My intuition tells me he's telling the truth and it never failed me." I told him firmly.

I hadn't doubt Kratos even one second when he told me about Yggdrasil. A voice inside of my head had told me to trust him and that's what I did. That voice had never let me down in the past. Bryant folded his arms and closed his eyes for a short time. When he opened them, not an ounce of hesitation was left in them.

"And you know I trust you. Okay. You can offer him your protection, but _only_ for the time the investigation will last. He will still have to answer his crimes afterwards."

I received his words like a punch in the face. It wasn't what I promised! I told Kratos he would not go to jail! At this rate, I would have to go back on my words and it was out of the question. I got up halfway and frowned deeply.

"But…" I began to protest against this decision, but Bryant interrupted me.

"Do not push me, Yuan." He warned me in a low voice and I dared not to push the subject further. For the time being, anyway.

"Pardon me, commissioner." I muttered halfheartedly.

Bryant didn't pay it mind. He placed a hand under his chin and looked pensively at the ashtray.

"Mithos Yggdrasil, huh… It will be a problem. A _big _problem. We were unable to put our hands on him for years now. He always put the blame on his men and all his crimes were left unpunished. To take him head on would be suicide, I hope you know it?"

"Yes. That's why I thought of another way, but I need your approbation." I prepared myself to expose the idea that had bloomed in my head since my conversation with Kratos yesterday.

"I think I know what you got in mind." Bryant told me to continue, his face dead serious.

I decided to get on with it and I hoped he would accept my suggestion.

"I must infiltrate his organization. It's the only way I could think of to gather enough evidence to lock him up." I revealed my strategy while never leaving his gaze. Bryant didn't seem surprised, but his features darkened slightly.

"I feared we would get down to this. But I will not stop you. After all, I'm the one who put you on this investigation. I hope you know in what dangers that will put you, at least?"

Deep inside, I feared what would await me when I would be working undercover, but I was keeping that fear far away. It would only be a nuisance. I nodded my head with conviction.

"Yes. I'm well aware of it and it will not stop me."

"I know. You're too stubborn for your own good! And how are you planning to infiltrate Yggdrasil's organization? You will need a serious cover…"

I had already thought about it and the name of one of my dear friends had come to my mind.

"I will ask for Botta's help. His false identity as the leader of an important family of yakuza will surely be of some help. I heard he often deals with Yggdrasil and that he has obtained his trust."

Bryant rubbed at his temples and closed the folder containing the report I had given him.

"It's probably the best option. Contact him as soon as you can. I want you to give me a regular report on this investigation." He ordered me in a tone that wouldn't accept to be upset.

"I got it. I thank you to trust me with this, commissioner." I got up and bowed respectfully before my superior. I was relieved to see he was letting me do as I please.

"Don't think too much of it. You never gave me a reason not to trust you, Yuan. I only ask of you to be careful." I felt the worry in his voice. I answered back with a half confident smile.

"I will do my best."

* * *

I left the station several hours later, after dealing with some important paperwork. I was more than happy having obtained my boss' permission for the investigation. The only thing left was to persuade Botta! Once outside, I took my cell phone and dialed my old friend's number, hoping he would answer. At the third ringing, he picked up the phone.

"Hello, here's Anji Yabuki. I'm listening." I recognized my friend's voice despite his false name.

He seemed preoccupied. He was probably not alone. I decided not to reveal my name in case someone was listening to the conversation.

"My old friend! How are you doing?" I talked in a cheerful voice and hoped Botta would recognize me even thought we hadn't seen each other in a few weeks.

I knew it had worked when Botta was silent for a long moment. I heard at the other side some clothes being ruffled and the voice of my friend speaking to someone else.

"If you'll excuse me."

A long time passed by without him talking and the sound of a door being closed got to me. I leaned back nonchalantly against my car, waiting for him to speak.

"Yuan!? Why are you suddenly calling me?" Botta asked me in a hurried and irritated voice.

"Are you free at noon? I need to talk to you. In private." I got to the point.

I would have the time to tell him the reason for my call when in private. There was too much risk to be overheard here. Botta took some time before answering me.

"It's _that_ urgent?" He insisted in a worried tone this time.

"Yes." I replied simply. It was pure truth. I heard him sigh.

"Okay, I got it. Wait for me at the Gionzushi restaurant at 12h30. I'll meet you there."

"Perfect, but come alone." I warned him and he sighed again. I felt bad for disrupting him so. He seemed to be on edge.

"If you insist…" He hung up and I did the same. I looked at my watch and saw I had one hour left before having to meet him at the restaurant. I knew what I had to do before going there. It was time for a little shopping.

* * *

I sat in a quiet corner of the restaurant, waiting for my friend to show up. I felt uncomfortable in my new clothes, but I had to get accustomed to them. If all was going well, after today, I would have to live under a second identity. I couldn't afford to wear my police uniform. So I had gone to buy a new wardrobe. I was wearing a pair of black low waist pants with a spiked belt, a designer black shirt and a long beige coat. I had fastened my long hair in a braid and I was wearing a pair of sunglasses. I really wasn't feeling like myself at the moment. I saw Botta enter the restaurant. I took off my glasses and I motioned him to join me. He was wearing a simple black suit. Really high-class for the head of a family of yakuza… I saw surprise on his face when he took notice of me. He rejoigned me, but didn't sit down, too occupied by looking over me.

"Anji! I'm glad you were able to come." I used his false name, in case someone was listening to us. I smiled at him and motioned to the chair in front of me.

"Care to explain why you're dressed like that?" Botta asked me while sitting down and folded his arms, his gaze burning a hole in my head.

"You don't like it? I got tired of my old style." I joked while smiling at my friend and he soon smiled back at me.

"Glad to see you too." He answered me and relaxed slightly in his chair.

The waitress came to take our orders and I waited until she was far from us before I leaned over the table.

"You think there's a chance you got followed?" I whispered while casting side glances.

"What's with this question? Of course not. Nobody would think of following me." Botta frowned and stared at me strangely.

I sighed in relief but didn't lean back.

"Good. Our discussion must not be heard by anyone." I confided while still whispering.

Botta scratched the beard at his chin and lifted a single eyebrow.

"Now you got me curious. I haven't seen you in _weeks_ and now that you decide to speak to me, it is something of utmost confidentiality?" A mocking smile made his way on his lips. I stared back at him and my face got even more serious.

"Please Botta, don't play with me. I was on a difficult investigation and I didn't get much time off in two months. I'm really sorry for having… ignored you." I apologized, it being the only thing I could do. It was true I hadn't had time to do anything else. Botta sniggered.

"Don't worry about it, I was only joking. So, what is it you need to talk about?" He asked me, at last serious.

I was going to answer, but the waitress came back with our drinks and I waited until she was gone before talking.

"I need you to do me a favor."

"Go on…" Botta seemed to become skeptical.

"As I've heard, you know well Mithos Yggdrasil?" I decided to play all my cards. It wouldn't serve me to hide him anything.

"Yeah… And what of it?" His tone was still prudent, like he knew where I was going. I took a deep breath.

"I need you to help me infiltrate his organization." I confessed and waited for the explosion of anger. I wasn't far from the truth. A look of utter horror made his way on my friend's face.

"What!? Are… Are you mad!?" He hissed between his teeth, cautious to not be heard by anyone.

"I beg of you, your organization often deals with his, right? You could surely help me! You're the only one I can ask such a thing from." I begged him, hoping the despair in my voice would let him know of the importance of my request.

He shook his head and closed his eyes.

"You don't know who you are dealing with. Mithos Yggdrasil is Japan's most dangerous man! If he discovers your identity…"

"I know all that. But I'm on an important investigation and I don't intend to drop it. And Bryant already gave me his permission." I tried to convince my friend.

Botta sighed and took a long gulp of sake.

"It's crazy… If I decided to help you infiltrate, I said _if_, you will not only risk your life, but mine also!!" He got worked up and glanced behind him.

"I will not let them catch me." I affirmed without being sure of it myself.

Botta opened his mouth to answer back, but our plates arrived and he had to wait until we were alone again. He stared at me severely.

"Always so sure of yourself, huh? And I suppose you will not change your mind?"

"Absolutely not." I stared back at him with an ardor he knew well.

Botta was silent for a long time, looking at his full plate. He finally lifted his head.

"I see. I will accept at only one condition." His firm voice told me he wouldn't go back on this. At least, I realized he intended to help me. I took a bite of my food before asking him what would be his condition.

"And what is it?"

"I want to know why you so want to arrest him."

I chew nervously on my bottom lip. I didn't want to tell him the reason, but I hadn't much choice, did I? I spit it out, but hide some details for now. Hopefully I wouldn't have to tell them.

"He sent someone to assassinate the family of one of his men. Innocents who didn't have anything to do with all this…" I whispered in a broken voice, remembering Kratos' expression.

"I see. But it's not the only reason, is it? You already let other criminals who did as much go freely without thinking much about it…"

I wanted to curse Botta right now. He knew me too well to know I was hiding part of the truth. I didn't dare looking him in the eye and I heard him getting impatient.

"I'm listening…" He pushed me to speak.

"Okay. It's… it's that man. His name is Kratos. I met him. I promised him I would help avenge his family." I continued and hoped he would be satisfied. I cursed him again when he spoke.

"And? I don't see anything new."

I groaned in annoyance. I couldn't hide anything from him, could I? But on second thought, he deserved to know. After all, he was going to put his life on the line for me. If Yggdrasil would discover my true identity, Botta certainly would not escape unharmed.

"It's because I… I saw myself _in_ him, Botta. The same suffering, the same emptiness, the same lack of understanding… I know too well what he's feeling. I saw it in his eyes… That gaze is haunting me! I don't want to see such sadness on his face ever again…" I whispered in a broken voice, remembering yesterday evening.

"But you know like me that vengeance doesn't bring anything! He will only be more broken in the end…" Botta replied sadly. I knew he was right, but I couldn't bring myself to accept it…

"I know. But if it can make him feel better for a time…"

Botta sighed and looked me in the eye.

"Okay. I'll help you. But you know, you asking me now came at the right time." Botta said and I looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"That one of Yggdrasil's informants got killed yesterday. He contacted me and asked me to provide him another one or I could say goodbye to my business with him." My friend groaned and I saw that this perspective wasn't too charming for him. He didn't seem to like Yggdrasil much, but he couldn't refuse his request. I imagined that having ties with the most influent yakuza's family was a great asset for undercover investigations.

"So I assume I will take his place?" I asked in a neutral voice.

"Exactly. It will be the most effective mean for your investigation, but also the most dangerous. You will have to infiltrate other families and clans for his sake. It will be difficult, I don't hide it."

"I don't fear death." I confessed with a certainty that seemed to destabilize him. What could I say? It was the truth. Nothing in this world was worth it. I had nothing left. If I had to die for justice, so be it. I would accept it. Botta smiled sadly at me. I think he understood my feelings.

"I see. Listen, Yggdrasil asked that I meet him today with the new informant. You think you'll be ready by then?"

"No problem." I nodded with conviction.

"Then meet me at two this afternoon at my headquarters. We will go to Yggdrasil shortly after."

"Perfect. I'll see you later." I told him before leaving the bill on the table. I got up and heard Botta's voice behind me.

"Yuan! I hope you know what you're doing…" He whispered and I smiled before saying him goodbye.

No, I didn't know what I was doing. Any sane man that cared for his life would avoid confronting Yggdrasil like I was about to do. But I wasn't a sane man. I would do anything to make him pay for his crimes, no matter what I would have to sacrifice in the process…

* * *

When I came to see Botta at his work, time passed too rapidly for my own taste. He gave me a false name and built me an identity inside his family. After that, we went to the building that sheltered the most dangerous criminal in all Japan… I felt myself becoming nervous as we got out of Botta's car and I looked at the gloomy building. Here was the place where Kratos was working… I didn't know how he could stay sane while spending so many hours inside that place… Botta tapped my shoulder and smiled at me. I smiled back and shrugged my discomfort away. I prepared myself mentally for my meeting with Mithos Yggdrasil.

When we got in, we were guided to the audience chamber by a young man with an arrogant face and orange hair. At the first glance, I didn't like him one bit. His way of walking, like the place was his own, was getting on my nerves. I tried my best to not let it show. I had to keep my mask on. He opened the door to the room and nodded his head towards it, beckoning us to come in. I followed Botta and bowed respectively before Yggdrasil. When I lifted my head back, I could take in my environment. I was currently in a large room with the same dull colors than the rest of the hallways and the only furniture it contained was three chairs. In the most sumptuous was sitting a man with long golden hair and with strange white clothes. Mithos Yggdrasil. It couldn't be anyone other than him. My gaze came to rest on the man that was sitting at his right. Kratos. I met his eyes and saw surprise in his dark pupils. Along with something else. Anger? Maybe. I forced my gaze away to avoid having my mask broken. I wouldn't have a second chance. I saw the young arrogant man coming to sit at Yggdrasil's left. I looked carefully at Yggdrasil's cruel and malicious face. That man who was the cause of so many people's death… I understood, with only one glance, why Kratos dreaded him so. His presence only made me swallow harshly, but I refused to look away. If I wanted him to accept me in his organization, I had to show him I didn't fear him. I gazed at his prying eyes and let Botta introduce me. He made me go forward and I kneeled before Yggdrasil, never leaving his gaze.

"Yggdrasil, I present to you Sano Nagano. He's one of my best informants. He has never let me down. He should be more than enough to replace Magnius." Botta announced in a neutral and equal voice.

"I'm at your service, Yggdrasil." I replied and hoped my voice didn't show my nervousness.

I humbly lowered my head and waited in silence. I heard a cold and calculated voice and shivers ran down my back. I didn't need to look up to know who had laughed. I heard someone getting up and soon saw a pair of white shoes in my vision. A hand gripped my chin and lifted my face roughly. My gaze met blue eyes as cold as ice. I did my best to support that gaze piercing deep into my soul. I managed to keep my mask in place and calmed the beating of my heart. Soon, I saw his lips curl into a nasty smile.

"I love that look. So much determination! Anji, you brought me a faithful dog this time! He seems so much better than Magnius." Yggdrasil seemed amused while turning his head to look at Botta who nodded his head.

I managed to contain my anger and indignation as I was treated like an animal. One glance at Kratos told me he also had problems retaining his anger. His eyes darkened and his fists clenched painfully on his tights. Suddenly, Mithos released his hold on me and sat back on his chair. He looked at Botta in a disinterested way like he wasn't worth his time anymore.

"I'm keeping him with me. You're lucky this time again, Anji. You better never disappoint me." His last words were pronounced menacingly.

I saw my friend turn paler and he nodded sharply. I understood now why that man was known to be dangerous… He was unpredictable and could throw away anyone as long as they weren't useful anymore. I realized I was going to play in a game way more dangerous than I first thought. I tried to keep my head cool.

"You can leave now. I'll contact you later to tell you if your precious subordinate is as good as you claim it." I felt his gaze burning me and I got up without showing any emotions.

Botta bowed respectfully and turned back to leave without a word. He passed besides me and brushed my shoulder in a movement unnoticeable to the others in the room. It gave me more courage. I stood still and waited for Yggdrasil to tell me what to do. He threw me a glance before turning towards Kratos.

"Kratos, how about showing to your new "brother" the place where he will have to work from now on?" He asked him in a honeyed tone that sent me new shivers. Really, that man was dangerously unpredictable… Kratos nodded and got up.

"As you want, Mithos." He answered in a dead voice unrecognizable to me.

Kratos told me to follow him and I did with apprehension. I had read in his eyes that something was off. He turned the corner of the hallway without a word. Wasn't he supposed to make me visit the headquarters I was going to spend time in for the next months? I frowned before his silence. We walked like this for several minutes and I felt myself being lost in a labyrinth where all looked the same. We were passing by a room with the door opened when Kratos slowed down. I was going to ask him what he was doing when a strong hand grabbed the hem of my coat and pushed me forcibly inside the bedroom. Irritated, I turned back to face Kratos and was going to ask him what was his problem, but he didn't let me. Kratos threw me brutally against the wall, pressing his forearm against my neck and I found myself almost unable to breathe. He closed the door with a strong kick and threw me a murderous glance.

"Would you care telling me what the fuck you're doing here, in the name of God!?" He asked me warningly and I couldn't help the shivers than ran through my body.

I gripped his forearm, trying to dislodge him so I could breathe. I was almost suffocating. But he didn't budge; instead he only pressed his body closer to mine. I groaned in annoyance.

"I could explain…if you would just… let me breathe…" I panted, unable to articulate clearly under the pressure of his arm.

I felt him release his hold a little, enough to make sure I wouldn't die from suffocation, but he didn't let go. His gaze was piercing through me as intensely as before.

"And exactly why would I do that?" He replied harshly.

"Because you… care…" I managed to answer the first thing that came to mind.

It seemed to suffice him. He quickly released me and started to pace furiously around the room. I rubbed my sore throat and regained my breathing, watching him all the while. He seemed highly annoyed. I was too. Who in their right mind would not be after being treated like that?

"What's gotten into you, Kratos!?" I seethed furiously.

His reaction came rather quickly. He turned rapidly to face me and his gaze threw daggers at me. I was stunned and couldn't turn away from his dark and threatening eyes.

"What do you mean, what's gotten into _me_!? I should be the one to ask you that! How could you possibly have the idea to come here? It's suicide!!" Kratos exploded and paced around the room once more.

"You know as well as me that it's my only option to arrest him." I replied more coldly than I would have liked. Seeing him angering against me as I was trying to help him was irritating me.

My words angered him even more. He walked furiously to me and his hand hit brutally the wall beside my head. I jumped before his surge of violence and his face came close to mine.

"If that's the case, you should just drop the investigation!! I didn't reveal you all these secrets so you could go trying to throw your life away like that!" His body was so close to mine that I felt him tremble in anger.

"I don't fear danger." I whispered with conviction.

Kratos put his free hand on the other side of my head. I was literally trapped between him and the wall. I stared at him while he continued to vent his anger on me. Not like I blamed him. I understood his reaction, even if I didn't approve it.

"You don't know who you are dealing with!! If he discovers your true identity, you'll not get away with only a broken member or two… He will kill you with the cruelest and slowest mean he can muster, I can assure you." He warned me seriously, closing his eyes. I'm sure he was imagining the scene right now.

This time I had enough. I was fed up with people telling me what to do, trying to make me change my mind. I pushed Kratos away roughly and glared at him.

"Stop telling me what to do! I won't change my mind!! I decided to help you and that's what I'm going to do, whatever the mean!" I seethed against him.

I knew he didn't deserve me yelling at him, but my frustration had risen up during the day and I had more than enough. I waited for him to argue, but he only lowered his head and came to sit on the bed. He took his head in his hands and his hair hid his face from my view. I couldn't see his expression.

"Why are you acting like this? You don't trust me? Maybe you don't think I can defend myself?" I asked him, awaiting a truthful answer.

Kratos _had _to trust me. If he didn't, how could we possibly work together to stop Yggdrasil? He slowly shook his head.

"It's not that. This world is a lot more brutal than you can imagine, Yuan." He whispered in a downcast voice.

My feet guided me towards the bed and I sat next to him. I tried to see his face.

"I know it, but I _must _do it, no matter what I have to endure to stop the murderer of your family." I replied in a firm tone, but softer than before.

Kratos lifted his head and I saw _this _look again. The same expression I swore myself never to see again. I avoided his eyes. I couldn't bear to see it…

"Yuan, please understand… I don't want anyone else to die because of me."

I looked at him again. He believed he was responsible for the death of his family and that he would also be responsible for my death if it happened… What an idiot. I had taken alone the decision to put myself in such a danger.

"And I don't want that bastard to get away after what he did to your family." I replied in a tone that wouldn't give him place to argue anymore.

He sighed and a sad smile dawned on his lips.

"You're too stubborn, you know that?" He observed with a touch of humor.

I smiled and laughed softly.

"I'm often told that, in fact." I thought of Bryant, who had said the same thing this morning.

Kratos regained his seriousness and squeezed my shoulder, obtaining my attention.

"But I'm serious, you know. If you ever come to die because of me, I…" His voice wavered and I cut him short. I placed my hand on the one that was on my shoulder and held it tight.

"It will not happen. I will not let the situation degenerate to that extent. I beg you, trust me. Anyway, I can't go back now." I tried to convince him with strong words and it proved to be difficult since I didn't believe them myself.

"I really hope you are right… really." He said weakly.

Silence came over us and I got conscious that my hand was still on his. Kratos seemed to notice it too and stared at our hands. I swiftly removed my hand and diverted my gaze. Kratos also took back his hand and I felt his gaze burning me. I didn't know what had gotten into me. I was overly nervous. He was the only one that was able to bring me in that state. I tried to find something to say to break this embarrassing silence. I then thought about something I had promised to give to Kratos.

"Oh! I almost forgot. Here." I searched in my pocket and dig out the key to my apartment.

I presented it to him and Kratos stared at it.

"It's…" He began hesitantly.

"The key to my apartment. You will be able to come as you please."

"Thanks…" He took the key and put it in the pocket of his jacket.

I got up and reached for the door before turning to face Kratos.

"How about you really make me visit the place now, instead of throwing me into a wall?" I teased him while thinking back at the brutal way he had treated me.

I saw him scowl before getting up.

"It's not a game, you know." He scolded me like a parent would do his child. Really now. He thought I was treating this situation like a game? It was perfectly the contrary.

"I know that, but imagine one second that I get lost because you haven't made me visit like Yggdrasil asked you to do? He will become suspicious." I remarked.

Kratos seemed to accept my answer. He got passed me and opened the door. He threw a glance in the hallway to see if there was anyone passing by.

"Here's hoping he isn't already…" He muttered and motioned me to follow him.

I agreed with him. We had to avoid arousing his suspicion. This kind of man was ready to use whatever the mean to uncover a plot against him, I was sure of it. I was already dreading my next meeting with Yggdrasil. I only hoped not to be left alone with him. That man was scaring me more than I would ever admit...

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud : **And now with this chapter, the investigation began. How will it go for Yuan and Kratos? And what will be the first mission Yggdrasil will give to Yuan? Find out in the next chapter!!

Chapter 5 will surely come out soon, since my dear friend Saenda has just finished school and will have more time now. Keep a lookout for it!!

And if you like this story, we would really appreciate that you leave a review. It makes us think this story is worth writing. :) And we thank those that reviewed already, it's really appreciated!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer** : We own nothing, not the world, not the characters, and we don't make any money out of it. Everything belongs to Namco. And even the translation doesn't belong to me xD My dear Little rosebud did it for me. Oh, how she does save my life so very much for that~! (Yes yes, we do it in French before writing it in english).

And now, on with the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter**** 5 ( Kratos' P.O.V )  
**

I sat on the chair next to Yggdrasil's, waiting along with him for Zelos to come back with Anji as well as the man that would replace Magnius. My face showed nothing at all for the moment except a false concentration towards the door. My thoughts, as for them, were back to the previous evening. I was still feeling somewhat upset about it, about the fact that Yuan wanted to help me as much. I couldn't believe he had accepted that way. But after all, he was a police officer and this case had been allocated to him, it was normal that he accepted to help me. What I didn't understand though, was why he refused to arrest me at the same time as Yggdrasil. My crimes were obvious! What was he trying to do? His superiors wouldn't want to hear it so, if Yuan didn't arrest me, they would take care of it. What would he do then? Do everything in his power to keep his promise? That was ridiculous! I had to make him listen to reason when I would be back to his apartment. I didn't want him to risk losing his job because of me.

Yggdrasil had his arms crossed against his chest as he watched the door with a semi-annoyed look. Making him wait was one of the worst things to do and that was precisely what Zelos was doing at the moment. And even though he was used to it now, he didn't like the silence between us two. Moreover, I was persisting in this treatment since morning. Because when I had arrived, he wore his best mocking smile in my direction, taunting me. He knew now. The one who had put the fire to my house had told him everything in detail, had satisfied him fully. I didn't see the use in talking to him then, except to answer as briefly as possible to his questions.

He stood up with an irritated sigh, throwing back a golden lock of hair while looking up and down at the door. And suddenly, he turned in my direction and stood in front of me, arms still crossed, his eyes detailing me. "I don't know what's gotten into you since morning, but I can tell you that this silence is highly irritating me. So you'll do me the pleasure of speaking!" He exclaimed and I lifted dreary eyes towards him. He didn't know what had gotten into me? Hmph! I seriously doubted the veracity of his speech. I was even surprised that he hadn't even mentioned once what had happened the day before, that he knew everything. Maybe he truly was insisting on going on with his little game to make me confess, or at least see me suffer. He could dream on! Never, I mean never, would I do such a thing.

"Or would you rather want me to make you speak?" He declared in a mischievous voice while he bent over me, his hand suddenly in my hair, caressing a wisp. My eyes widened in surprise and incomprehension. What was he...?

We jumped lightly when the door opened and Yggdrasil turned around brusquely to face the newcomers, bearing his vicious smile. He looked like a wolf waiting for the sheep to enter his den, ready to devour it. Poor man, I felt sorry for him. He was literally throwing himself in danger.

I saw Zelos enter the room in an almost dancing step, his arrogant smile still so overpowering. That smile disappeared when he saw me and was replaced by a murderous glare. He was surely jealous of the fact he had gotten the job of bringing back Anji and the new employee while I could stay besides Yggdrasil. I didn't spare him any attention since he didn't deserve any, and it seemed to annoy him more since he came to sit at Yggdrasil's left with a sulky expression, concentrating his attention on the newly arrived people.

I saw Anji enter the room, soon followed by the newcomer that I finally could detail. My eyes widened in stupefaction for a second, but I immediately took an indifferent expression back. I couldn't let my superior see such an expression, he would surely guess something was off.

However, my eyes creased lightly in intense anger. What was he doing here?! Was he that stupid?! This place wasn't one in which he could easily investigate without getting out unharmed! That place was _dangerous_!! Didn't he get that much when I talked with him about Yggdrasil? It had seemed to me that I had been clear on that point! It seemed like I hadn't been clear enough or he really was a hopeless idiot!

I watched the exchange while containing my fury, even thought I wanted to explode. It wasn't the way I had wanted Yuan to help me! How could he possibly think it would be the best solution?

My fists clenched hard and my gaze darkened when I heard my superior treating Yuan like nothing more than a vulgar animal. I didn't know what had gotten into me as I was in a dark anger against Yuan, but I couldn't bear to see him being treated like that. However, I only sat in silence. I couldn't show I knew him, or else all was lost. Otherwise, I would not have to time to scold Yuan to make him quit this godforsaken place and for him to keep out of danger.

Finally, Yggdrasil asked me to make our new 'family member' visit his working place and I stood up automatically, motioning to 'Sano' to follow me before guiding him in the hallways towards my room, the one that Yggdrasil had given me in his generosity for the days I couldn't return home because of the late hour. There, in my room, my anger exploded. How, how could he think about such a thing? I couldn't understand, and I didn't want to understand either. It was pure suicide!

It was when he explained his reasons to me that I realized with horror that it would be because of me if he came to die. Straight away, culpability made its way inside of me. Why had I asked him such a thing? All of this was my fault again... He tried to convince me that nothing would happen and I tried to believe him, but it was difficult. I had seen Yggdrasil at work and I knew too well what would happen to Yuan if he was caught.

When at last we left my room, I really made him visit the place this time, my impassible mask back in place. By seeing his expression, I had the impression that he didn't like it one bit, but he had to get used to it. I didn't show any emotions, not one. Especially in this place. It was the worst thing to do.

The last room I showed him was Yggdrasil's office and my superior was already back in it. He lifted his head from the papers he was filling with a mocking smile when he saw us. "So, our little pet won't get lost from now on?" He laughed mockingly and I felt Yuan tensing, containing his anger. I simply nodded my head calmly. "Yes, he's ready to receive your first order, Mithos." I simply answered before going to sit nonchalantly. Seeing that Yuan hadn't followed me, I turned my gaze towards him and saw his eyes lightly hesitant. He didn't know if he had the right to sit or not. After all, I was close to Yggdrasil, it was an usual thing for me to sit down. I was going to motion him to come in with fake boredom, but my superior stopped me when he spoke. "Very well. In that case, I might as well give you your first mission. Don't worry, I'm not going to give you something too difficult to begin." He was literally making fun of the police officer and that was enough to remove all traces of hesitation in his eyes, only to be replaced by outrage and a vigorous determination.

"I only want you to prove yourself and to show me what you're worth." Yggdrasil continued. "So I will send you to Nishinari-ku. The brothels there are occupied by Rodyle, one of my... associates, if I can express myself as such." He didn't bear any attention to Yuan while explaining, his eyes now on the papers he was filling up. "Recently, I've had the strong impression he's been plotting something. His reports are too strange, to say the least. I want you to infiltrate his organization and to bring me back information. Anything will do, as long as it is useful." He sniggered softly. "But of course, the less your information will be precise, even thought pertinent, the less I'm going to make use of you." What was implied in his words was clear. And for a first 'easy' work, I thought Yuan would have it rough. Rodyle was known for his deceit, it wasn't easy to obtain anything from him.

"I will give you one week to complete your mission. You will have to give me your report after that. Until then, I wish you good luck!" He declared in a mocking tone before diverting his attention back on his papers.

Yuan bowed before him. "I will not disappoint you, Yggdrasil."

"Lord Yggdrasil." I said. The police officer looked at me with incomprehension and surprise and I stared at him while frowning. "Anji could take the liberty of calling our father Yggdrasil because they are associates, but you will have to learn that with your position, you have to call him Lord Yggdrasil." I scolded him in an annoyed tone he understood was faked. He bowed again. "Please pardon me, Lord Yggdrasil." I could clearly see that such a title was upsetting him strongly, but nevertheless he had to learn his place.

Our boss laughed softly. "Now now Kratos, don't be so mean!" And it was he who was telling me this? "I understand you don't want someone to disrespect me, but I'm not all that strict!" That look again! Why was he looking at me like that?!

I had to restrain a shiver to run through my entire being and I tensed lightly. I was finding myself in this sort of situation a lot more than usual recently and I didn't like it one bit.

A slight cough came from behind us and Yggdrasil turned irritated eyes towards Yuan. "You're still here? I have nothing else to tell you, you can take your leave!" He chased him out with a wave of his hand and Yuan bowed again before leaving the room. I sighed in relief inside and thanked the policeman for having bothered our boss.

He had saved me.

When Yggdrasil turned his attention on me again, I stood up. "I will take my leave too, Mithos. I have to collect the reports of your spies if you want them soon, right?" And without another word, I left the room, leaving behind me a really unhappy Yggdrasil.

* * *

The end of the day finally arrived, too slowly to my taste. In front of Yuan's apartment, I stared for a long time at the key he had given me, hesitating. However, I was too tired to argue with myself, so I got in with a sigh. The door was unlocked, a sign that Yuan was already back.

At last I had brought back his coat in time with some of my clothes that he would probably let me keep in his apartment. I still preferred to change and take my showers at the headquarters, so I was bringing them just in case.

I put back his coat in the wardrobe near the door, came to put my clothes near the door inside of Yuan's bedroom and, not seeing him, walked towards the kitchen. I found him sitting at the table in front of his computer, certainly writing his report for his superior. He was so concentrated that he jumped when I sat next to him, making me laugh softly, a gesture that made him groan in return. "Did you think about, I don't know, giving me a sign that you were here to avoid getting me a heart attack?" He asked me in a sarcastic tone and I rolled my eyes. "I gave you a sign. I sat next to you." I replied like it was obvious. He groaned again and softly hit his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Okay, I said nothing." He returned to his report and I fell silent, looking intently at him. He really seemed to take his job to heart and I was jealous of him for that. I always dreamed of having a job respected by society, but it had never been possible, and it would never be, certainly. I sighed and got up, moving towards the kitchen. "Did you eat already?" I asked simply, looking again through the shelves to note where the dishes and other things were placed. Without lifting his gaze from his screen, he shook his head. "You want me to make you something?" I added, not daring to search through his fridge until he had given me his permission. I had done it this morning, but only because I had the feeling he would not have the opportunity to eat. If he wanted to prepare his meal himself when he had the time, I certainly would not bother him.

« If you want." A smirk was suddenly visible, a sign that it amused him. I didn't know what was so funny, perhaps the fact that a stranger was cooking for him, but I didn't linger on the question. Instead, I opened the fridge and concentrated on the task ahead of me; cooking something to eat. Anyway, if he was letting me do as I please, it surely meant that he had liked the meal I had prepared this morning.

I soon found out that Yuan wasn't going to the grocery too often, because there wasn't much food left. There was some rice and beef's leftovers and the idea to make us some curry came to mind. I made sure that all I was going to need was at my disposition before getting into the cooking. Soon, the smell of meat invaded the apartment and Yuan lifted his head from the screen. "It smells good!" He declared, seemingly in a better mood.

I gave out a weak smile before bringing him a plate that I put down next to his computer before sitting next to him, starting to eat my share. He did the same and a delighted expression crossed his face. "And it also tastes really good!" I rolled my eyes again. He surely didn't eat properly often if he liked a simple curry to that extent. However, I merely shrugged. "I'm glad to be of some use."

We stayed silent for a long time, preoccupied with eating our meal, then Yuan decided to speak once more. "So, what did you do after I left?" I raised an eyebrow at his question, wondering where it had come from. "I only want to learn more about this world to avoid unwanted attention and doubts." He replied quite simply, putting his elbow on the table so his cheek was resting on his fist. "So?"

"I went to collect the reports of Yggdrasil's other informants. Something I will have to do with your next mission. Yggdrasil wants to hear it directly from you only this time since you have to show your worth." I sighed softly. "And he didn't give you the easiest task to begin with. I beg you, be careful around Rodyle. He's a treacherous man and he hides his game too well. If he discovers that you're keeping an eye over him and that Yggdrasil has send you because he's suspicious of him, he could easily get rid of you while making it look like an accident." Yuan was now frowning, certainly thinking about how he should approach the associate of our superior. "Why do I have the impression that it's also for that reason that Yggdrasil is sending me there? To see if I'm strong and crafty enough for Rodyle to not be suspicious of what I'm really doing?" I nodded my head, lightly satisfied. At least, Yuan understood quickly. "It's effectively the case. And it's also why I want you to abandon this crazy idea to stay under Yggdrasil's protection. Because even though that task seems difficult, I assure you that you still haven't seen anything." The police officer sighed noisily. "Please, don't start with that again. I told you I'm here on my own accord, and I have no intention to quit only because of some test. Kratos, I promised to help you, so it's what I'm going to do, have I made myself clear?"

I was still bitter with the idea, but I only nodded, closing the subject. Arguing about that would bring us nothing.

I looked again at the computer screen where I could see the report being written. "And seeing you here, I doubt you went to investigate Rodyle's brothels today." I observed and Yuan shook his head. "I will go tomorrow, I will have more time. Anyway, I had to finish this for the commissioner so that he could know what I will do inside Yggdrasil's organization." I didn't answer for a moment, lost in my thoughts, and Yuan turned his attention back on the screen. We stayed silent for some time before I spoke again. "He does not agree about letting me keep my liberty, right?" Yuan froze in place, his fingers stopping above the keyboard. By seeing his reaction, I gave a hint of a small smile, realizing I was right. I was at least happy to know there was someone reasonable in that police station. "Yuan, it's better this way. I have sins to atone for. The simple fact of arresting Yggdrasil will not change that. I'm a criminal before the world's eyes and letting me go freely would be a threat." I whispered these words, my gaze on the ground. I didn't deserve the compassion the officer next to me was showing me. I should already be locked behind bars. With that, all the people that died because of me could begin to rest in peace. "You should arrest me right now…" I whispered, my melancholic smile widening. He had the chance now; I was right here within his reach! I was a criminal; Yuan couldn't allow me to stay at his place. It was totally stupid.

I was already preparing myself to the idea of being arrested but instead of that, Yuan got up suddenly and banged his hands on the table, casting me a livid look. "Idiot!" He exclaimed with anger and I looked at him with surprise. "I'm putting my life in danger to infiltrate Yggdrasil's mafia in hopes to find your family's murderer, and that's how you _dare_ thank me?!" His words pierced deeply into my soul and I grimaced. "You want to give up now, in a mean so cowardly!?! I can't believe you want to do something like that!! And your wife and son, did you think about them? Would they want you to act like that?! I don't think so!!" His breathing was now strong and jerky by the fact his emotions were swirling in him. His eyes were sparkling dangerously at me and his hands were clenched so tightly that his joints were turning white. He was outraged. Outraged that I was thinking of abandoning _him_. I was left speechless for a long time, in shock to see how much he cared for me. When could he have possibly developed such feelings? I was… nothing but a stranger.

And yet, I understood perfectly. I thought that if Yuan acted in the same way, I would be angry with him beyond belief. I could only laugh softly in front of my idiocy. "I… You are right. I'm sorry."

He seemed to calm down, even though his eyes were still gleaming and he sat down to stare at his computer again. "Anyway, I promised you that you wouldn't get arrested, so you won't. I will find a solution, don't worry about that. It falls down upon my responsibility." His arms folded across his chest, it was like he… was sulking. I had to admit the image was funny and I couldn't restrain a cheerful smile to make his way on my lips. "All right, I trust you." As fast as his anger had arrived, as fast it was replaced by a satisfied smile. It was as if the modest word "trust" had delighted him beyond measure.

I could now say I knew one of Yuan's traits of personality; his attitude was changeable at lightning's speed and he could abash anyone.

Yuan resumed typing his report and asked me, "So, what will you do tomorrow?" Immediately, my expression darkened at the question, reminding me the important event that would take place tomorrow. I stayed silent, not especially wanting to answer. Anyway, Yuan was now so absorbed by his work that it took him some time to notice I hadn't replied. When finally he realized it, he turned towards me and took note of my expression, worrying him. "Did I say something I should not have?" He asked softly. "Did Yggdrasil ask you something you don't want to do?"

I shook my head. "No, it's nothing you said and Yggdrasil has got nothing to do with it." I stopped again before taking a long breath. "The funerals are tomorrow." I had finally said it. My wife and son's funerals were to take place the day after. And unfortunately, I hadn't been able to do a thing to prepare them. Anna's family had taken care of things while clearly making me see that I was not to do a thing if I at least wanted to come to the funerals. They hated me and with reason. After all, it was my fault that Anna and Lloyd both died by the murderous flames.

I then felt the hand of the man next to me on my shoulder, squeezing it softly. "It will be alright, don't worry." He reassured me with a hesitant smile. "I will come tomorrow to support you." I frowned and protested straight away. "You don't have to do it. I mean… I appreciate it very much, but you will already be busy with the mission Yggdrasil gave you, you don't have to worry about me and take your time for that!"

He smiled. "No, it's okay. I want to come, so I will. Kratos, I promised to help you, and right now, it seems that helping you also means supporting you in difficult times. I will manage with Yggdrasil's mission, don't worry."

I sighed sadly. He was an idiot, an absolute idiot. And yet, I couldn't stop this feeling of gratitude inside myself that was warming my heart. If Yuan came tomorrow, the funerals would surely be more tolerable. "Thank you." I whispered before standing up, breaking at the same time the contact of his hand on my shoulder. "It's getting late. I think I'll go to sleep." He nodded his head, turning his attention on the screen. "I'll finish this and then I'll do the same. Good night, Kratos." I wished him good night in return, then I walked to his room. I took the pants that I was using as pajamas and undressed myself to put them on before slipping under the covers of his bed. Even though they were reassuring, containing Yuan's fragrance, that which seemed to let his presence itself in the bed, I was afraid by the thought of sleeping. The nightmares that had taunted me last night were not really pleasant to my mind and I knew they would haunt me again tonight. Yet, I was tired. Tired of today's events as much as I would be by tomorrows. And despite of my growing fear, sleep won over me and I fell into the dark abyss of sleep.

* * *

_Orange. All was orange around me. I didn't know __where I was, but I could say that the heat was intense, unbearable. And yet, that heat seemed like it couldn't reach me. It couldn't reach me because I was searching frenetically for something. I was moving forward, rapidly, turning my head in all directions to try and see something through all this orange._

"_Anna! Lloyd!" I called with a strong voice, hoping to hear them answer back. "Where are you?" I was still advancing forward, again and again, not finding anything and the hope of finding them was more and more vain. Then suddenly, I heard a very shrill scream. Jumping, I walked in the direction from where the sound had come from. The voice resembled tremendously Anna's. "Anna!" I cried out, hoping she would hear my cry and answer._

_The more I moved onward, the more I could make out a figure.__ I began to run to find her and save her, but I stopped in my tracks before the sight that was offering itself to me._

_There, right in front of me, stood Anna.__ However, her entire body was shrouded in flames, skin burning, liquefying painfully. Burning flesh was visible on almost the entirety of her body and her once magnificent brown hair was no more. She was reaching out to me with her arms, screaming in blazing agony._

"_Kratos, Kratos! Help me, please!" She begged me between her cries, sobbing even though no tears were visible, or even possible. I tried to walk towards her, I wanted to help her, to take her in my arms to bring her to the hospital for them to save her, but my feet refused to move. It was as if they had been replaced by metal melted in the ground. "Kratos, Kratos! Please!" She begged again painfully and I tried again, pulling at my legs, but they refused to move for even one centimeter. I was now crying silently in front of my helplessness, before the atrocious fate my wife had been granted. "Kratos, why are you not helping me? Why?!" She shrieked hysterically, swinging her arms in my direction for me to go and get her. And still, no movement from me. "You are nothing but a monster, a murderer! Because of you, I will die, and so will Lloyd!" _

_At the mention of Lloyd__, I suddenly heard a child's voice beside me and turning my head, I saw my son in the same state as Anna. He was screaming in pain again and again, crying and squirming like he was trying to escape his fate. "Daddy! Daddy, help me, I'm scared!" I tried to move for the thousandth time, this time towards my son, but to be struck with the same agonizing realization; I couldn't move. "Daddy!" My tears intensified in strength. "Lloyd, no…"My voice wasn't higher than a whisper as if it also was going against my efforts to make my family understand that I _wanted_ to save them! "Monster, monster!" I found myself buried under their voices. I could only hear the "Monster!", "murderer" mixed with the "Daddy!!" from my son. I didn't know what I could do and I suddenly felt myself pulled towards the ground. My entire environment turned black and then… _

I awoke with a start and in sweat, my upper body lifting from the bed rapidly. My hand clenched around my heart that was debating furiously, I was completely lost. Where was I? What had happened? Why couldn't I recognize the place I was in? It certainly was not my bedroom, let alone my bed…

I then realized Yuan's presence close to me, a hand on my shoulder, still lingering there for having shaken me awake. Then it all came back to my mind: the fire, the murder, the fact that I was now "living" at Yuan's place. I just had a nightmare, nothing more… And yet, it had seemed so real. After all, it was my entire fault if they both had to suffer like this. The rational part of my mind was trying to send me a message, telling me that it was my feelings that were pushing me to feel guilty and that my family wouldn't bear a grudge against me, but I wasn't feeling too rational for the moment and I shut it up.

"Kratos?" Yuan's soft voice brought me out of my torpor and I looked at him with an impassible face, trying to hide any traces of emotions. There was no way I was going to bother him like that. "I'm sorry, I must have bothered you, right? It wasn't my intention; I will do my best to not do it again." The police officer frowned before my words, seeming almost insulted. Even thought, he didn't make a comment. We both knew that if he did, none of us would let go, one trying to keep everything to himself and the other trying to help without success. We were both too tired to argue so he chose to let it go and I was grateful for that. "You didn't bother me in the least; I was only passing by to take up my things. You'll be alright?" He questioned me with worry while searching in my eyes for some sort of emotion, a thing I didn't give. I simply nodded my head, waiting for him to leave the room before lying down again. He was clearly disappointed on the moment, then sighed and left the bedroom to go sleep.

I lied down, wondering if sleep would come again, and if it did, I hoped it would be peaceful this time. Unfortunately, I knew perfectly well that this kind of wish would be impossible to realize and I could certify it once I was asleep again.

* * *

"A monster. He's nothing more than a monster." A woman whispered to her neighbor and she approved with a sign of her head. "How dare he show up here after all the harm he caused?" She added. The both of them were wearing completely black clothes, clothes of mourning. It was the same for all the people in the vast room where a coffin had been place on the altar at the center. The coffin was closed, preventing them to see the corpses inside. To compensate that fact, a picture had been placed on the coffin, showing a young smiling woman with short brown hair and with her hazelnut eyes sparkling with life staring at the camera. In her arms was a young boy with a cheerful face and with hair the same brown as his mother and disheveled like my own.

I ignored the whispers around me; all of them were insulting me and calling me names. I was never liked inside Anna's family and I understood them perfectly. After all, I was the monster that had made my wife and son suffer.

I walked towards the coffin, observing the picture for some time before joining my hands and praying for the well-being of their souls. I prayed in silence for a long time before opening my eyes again and burning incense around the coffin to purify it. I had a sad smile. Today was supposed to represent my last goodbyes to my family. Today was the day I had to realize that all had ended for them, that I would never see them again no matter what happened.

I felt like my heart was about to burst out with pain as the facts were hitting me dead on. And despite my immense pain, my face was still expressionless like all was right. I was now so used to hide my emotions that showing them had become more difficult than to keep them inside.

I suddenly heard the hurried sound of heels on the marble ground coming in my direction and by the time I turned to see what was happening, I was roughly slapped across the cheek. I didn't react for several seconds, not understanding what just happened, then my hand finally came to rest on my cheek and I saw the person standing before me, pulling me back to reality. It was a woman of medium height and of slender built. Her long brown hair with few bangs turning grey fell back on her shoulders gracefully while her hazelnut eyes stared at me with hatred and contempt. Her hand was still lifted, like she was ready to slap me again. I stared at her face where some wrinkles were appearing and finally recognized Anna's mother. "How dare you show yourself here! Murderer!" It's your fault, all that happened is your fault! Because of you, my dear child is dead, she is dead, for God's sake!! Why did you come here?!" She was about to slap me again, but a man stopped her suddenly, blocking her arms. But even thought he saved me, he stared at me with as much hatred as the woman in front of him. His hair was completely grey and he was as broad-shouldered as I was, even thought he was older than me. This time, Anna's father came to add even more tension in the air. "Darling, calm down. Violence brings nothing, unfortunately." He muttered the last sentence with reticence. It was clear he had the urge to hit me as much as his wife.

Anna's mother struggled against her husband. "Let me go! He killed my child!!" She screamed hysterically and I grimaced. I knew beforehand that people would accuse me if I came here, and it was not like they were wrong, but I never guessed it would be this painful to hear it.

"I tried to trust you!" She hissed in anger. "When I saw Anna was happy, I tried to trust you, but I was never able to. Your… _occupation_ was of the most perfidious, you could only put her in danger! And now, look at what you've done! You're nothing but a monster!! How can you come here and stay emotionless like that?! Do you not have a heart?!? Monster!!" Her words were planting numerous arrows in my heart, one after another. I was surprised to see it was still holding on after that assault.

"I didn't want to…" I tried to defend myself, but without much success. I shouldn't even be trying. After all, she was more than right.

"You. _Didn't_. Want. To?!" This time it was her father that was in a terrible outrage. "If you didn't want to, you should have left her alone a long time ago so she could leave in peace and safety! But no! Instead, you even had a child, an innocent child that you involved in this story! And where did all of this take you?!" He let go of his wife and approached me until we were face to face. "You only deserve to be denounced to the police so you can finally be arrested! You only deserve to rot in prison!!" Before my lack of reaction, his anger exploded and he lifted his fist in my direction. I only waited for the hit to come, but it never did. Instead, I looked with surprise at Yuan who was now standing in front of me, displaying an expression of pain as he was hit. That shook up Anna's parents who were looking at Yuan like he was an alien. After all, who was crazy enough to protect me? Besides, I was agreeing with them on that point.

Yuan wiped out the blood at the corner of his mouth before laughing softly. "You know, violence has never been a good mean to settle problems." He said with amusement as if he was trying to ease up the tension in the air. I must say he was failing miserably. "Who are you?" The tone of the woman was hostile, distrustful. She was surely afraid of standing in front of a member of my so called family. Yuan searched through his pockets before taking out his wallet to show those two his police badge. "I'm the police officer Yuan Ka-Fai, pleased to meet you." Immediately, an expression between relief and revenge made its way on their faces. "Perfect! Then you can arrest this man, officer! He committed innumerable crimes you can't even begin to imagine, he deserves to be condemned!" The older man exclaimed while pointing me with an accusatory finger, bearing a satisfied expression. Yet his expression disappeared when Yuan shook his head. "I will not do such a thing." The two looked at him like he had turned mad. "What? But why?! It's his fault that my daughter is dead, it's all _his fault_!!" If she wasn't yelling already, Anna's mother was about to do it. And yet, all the attention was on us, curious to see how it would end.

Yuan's face took a severe expression and he stared at them with a professional look. "Madam, I think you are committing false accusations! It wasn't Kratos who put the house on fire, but someone else. So he isn't the one who murdered your daughter." The woman's outrage had now reached its highest peak. "Maybe he didn't put the house on fire, but it is still _his _fault if it happened! If he had not met her, none of this would have happened!" Yuan was about to reply, but I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him. "Stop it, Yuan. They are both right." I whispered in a soft voice tinged with acceptation. That angered him and he turned around to face me. "I refuse to believe such a thing! You always did all you could to protect them for all these years and your broken expression the day I met you was enough to make me understand you loved your family more than anything! So don't tell me it was your fault! It was the murderer's fault and only his!"

At least, he didn't mention Yggdrasil's name. If he did, he would have sow panic, because no one here was aware of the exact person for which I was working.

"But even if it wasn't his fault, he still has committed too many crimes! He's a dangerous criminal and he should be put behind bars!" Anna's father added with hatred. Yuan turned towards them and shook his head again. "I have no intention of doing so. I still need him to find the true murderer of your daughter." Despite the officer's response, Anna's parents were far from satisfied. They were really stuck on getting me arrested. "I will complain to your superior." She hissed with hatred before turning away and dragging her husband with her.

Yuan had a slightly embarrassed laughter while turning around to face me. "I kind of got the impression that Commissioner Bryant will have more work on his shoulders. He will probably be angry at me." When he lifted his eyes again on my face, he immediately saw severity and he became serious again. "I said to you yesterday that I would not arrest you." He continued. "And I won't do it. I will take responsibility for the consequences. I knew something like this would happen. So, please, don't look at me like that." As a response, I simply growled loudly, showing I wasn't satisfied but that I would not argue back.

He rolled his eyes before moving towards the altar and silently, he closed his eyes and put his hands together to pray for my family. He stayed like that for several minutes, and then burned incense before coming to stand next to me. "There! I just made a promise to Anna that I would take good care of you!" He exclaimed quite simply with an amused smile. I stared at him, amazed of such words, before my expression softened and I smiled.

Since I couldn't stay here for a long time – Anna's family was surely eager to throw me out – I walked to the exit with an amused sigh. "You're certain of that? I kind of got the impression that since I came to your home, I'm the one who's taking care of you." I declared with humor and he was quickly offended. "Excuse me?!" He exclaimed while he threw daggers at me. I only shrugged, my smile widening. "I'm simply saying that seeing your expression while eating a simple curry yesterday was enough to tell me you surely don't eat properly often." I pointed out with exactitude. He folded his arms, opened his mouth to reply, "It's not… I mean… Well…" He shut his mouth, unable to find the words to defend himself. If it wasn't for the pain that was swirling inside of me on this dreadful day, I think I would have laughed.

We walked like that for a moment in silence, since Yuan was refusing to talk to me. Then suddenly, he turned his head towards me, a joyful expression on his face. "You know, I didn't need to meet your family to know they were happy. The simple fact of seeing the picture was enough. No matter what happened, Kratos, they both loved you with all their heart."

I was left speechless before his comment before letting out a simple amused 'Hmph!' "I guess you are right." I answered simply.

Yes, they loved me. And I loved them too. That was why I would have to live fully for us three from now on.

* * *

**A/N : **And there you have it, chapter 5! Hope you liked it! And hope you hated Anna's parents xD

But seriously, now you know what Yuan's mission is! Look forward to what will come next with Rodyle, it'll simply be more than great! Seriously! I know we've been saying this since the beginning, but that truly will be one of our best arc… lol.

Well anyway! Please please please review for us! We like it very much when you do *puppy eyes* And thank you so so very much to our fateful reviewers! We love you! :3

So, see you in two chapters!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 ( Yuan's P.O.V )**

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I was watching television absentmindedly, despite the late hour. I couldn't drift to sleep, constantly thinking about the most effective way to meet Rodyle. I knew for a fact that Yggdrasil was testing me and I absolutely had to bring him back vital information. But how? No matter how much I thought about it, I still couldn't find a mean. And the more I thought about it, the less I was getting any sleep. Irritated, I got up and went to the kitchen. I searched the shelves, seeking my sleeping pills. I finally remembered leaving them on my bedside table earlier. But, Kratos was sleeping for a long time now. I thought about giving up, because I didn't want to take the chance to wake him, but I _really _needed to sleep, even for a few hours. Especially knowing what awaited me tomorrow. I walked to my room and carefully opened the door, throwing a glance inside. I could make out Kratos' form lying in my bed. I was walking towards the bedside table without making any sound when I noticed that Kratos was in the middle of a nightmare. I froze when I saw him turn in my bed and moan what seemed like a woman's name. His forehead was damp with sweat and his features were painfully stretched. I was by his side in a few seconds, gently shaking him by his shoulder to wake him up. He awoke in a start, jolting upright in his bed. I waited patiently for him to take his grip on reality again. I called his name when he seemed to have calmed down a bit. When he turned towards me, I saw that impassible face that irritated me. Why couldn't he just show his emotions!? He had just gotten out of a nightmare where he saw his family die, I'm sure of it! Then why was he showing me that empty expression, why was he still insisting to apologize, thinking he was bothering me!? I was feeling offended, really, even if I shouldn't be. I frowned and held back my need to argue. I was too tired for that. I assured him again that he wasn't bothering me before getting up, taking what I came for and getting out of the room, looking one last time at him.

These few hours of sleep had been a blessing for me. I awoke later than I normally would in a good state, better than I had been in a long time. I even took time to make breakfast, since I didn't have to go to the police station this morning. Looking quickly at the entrance hall, I saw that Kratos' shoes were still there. He was still sleeping. Maybe he had a day off today. After all, he had to attend to his family's funeral. I left his portion in the fridge. I finished and faxed the report on my meeting with Yggdrasil to my boss, telling him of the mission he had given me. I still had no idea how to approach Rodyle, but I knew who might have one… I had to bet on this.

* * *

I parked my car in front of Nishinari-ku's brothels, looking at the buildings with a critical eye. They had a fine figure, in a style not at all Japanese. More English, at what I knew. Nobody could know what was going on behind these walls before being informed beforehand. But I knew what horrors they were hiding. And I couldn't do a thing about it. Not now. I put on my sunglasses and took out my cell phone from my coat's pocket. I dialed Botta's number and waited for him to pick up the phone. I soon heard his low-pitched voice in my ear.

"Hey Anji, it's Sano. I need your help." Like always, I got straight to the point.

"What is it this time? I hope it's not a favor like yesterday or else…" My friend threatened in the phone.

I sniggered. He really didn't like being bothered by me…

"No, it's nothing like that, don't worry. I only need information on a certain individual." I prayed for him to give me some of his _precious_ time.

"All right, I'm listening." He sighed and resigned himself. He knew for a fact how difficult it could be to get rid of me when I wanted something.

"Do you know of a yakuza named Rodyle?"

"Rodyle? Of course, we often make deals. Why do you need information on him?" Botta seemed surprised by my asking.

He must not have anticipated it and I had no intention of telling him why. Except if he guessed it, of course. And that was happening all too often for my taste.

"Don't worry about that and answer my question."

"…Yggdrasil asked you to infiltrate his organization, right?" He asked in a low and prudent tone.

How right. I was always amazed before the infallible intuition of my friend.

"…Yes, I admitted. Yggdrasil doesn't trust him, he thinks he is plotting something against him and I better bring him back essential information, but I don't know that man. Now that that's in the open, spit it out because I don't have much time. I'm already at Nishinari-ku and it would be suspicious if I was being spotted sitting for half an hour in my car."

Botta laughed and I had to wait impatiently for him to calm down.

"Okay okay, let me think for a second. Hum… first, he specializes in slaving and prostitution and mainly works with China and Korea. Speaking of personality, he is most cruel, rather hard to deal concerning business and doesn't hesitate to eliminate anyone who gets in his way or doesn't have a utility anymore."

"It's interesting and all, but it's not what will help me to approach him!" I became irritated when this conversation was leading nowhere.

"I see… I don't know if it will reveal useful or not, but I heard that he had begun treading in arms dealing recently. What is strange though is that he never showed any interest in it before and he certainly doesn't need money."

"Now that's interesting… Nothing else?" I asked, hoping I would get more useful information.

Weapons dealing was certainly something on which I would have to learn more.

"Not as I'm aware. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more use." My friend apologized.

"Don't worry about that. I will manage." I wasn't even sure myself, but at least I knew how I would proceed. It was a start.

"Sano, good luck… Don't do anything rash." Botta begged me.

I sniggered again. He had always been overprotective when it came to me. He was acting like a big brother.

"Thanks for the advice. I'll call you if there's something else."

I hang up and my gaze came to rest on the brothels again. My conversation with Botta had given me a good pretext to approach Rodyle. I took a confident expression and got out of my car. It was the time to see exactly what I was worth…

* * *

As soon as I presented myself, I was guided to a private lounge, waiting for Rodyle's arrival. I took that time alone to inspect my surroundings. Rodyle certainly had a pronounced taste for riches and comfort… Red silk curtains were covering the large windows, high quality sofas and an imposing stained-glass table where furnishing the room, as well as Victorian lamps and ancient furniture. Lost in my contemplation of the decor, I jumped when a voice echoed right against my ear.

"It's magnificent, isn't it? I tried to recreate the Victorian style, I hoped it worked!" Whispered someone behind me with a voice that gave me shivers. I got up rapidly and turned to face the man who had surprised me. If I had to describe him in one word, it would have been sly. He had that way of smiling… A predatory smile. His eyes were half hiding behind glasses. Frankly, that man wasn't appealing to me. I bowed respectfully before that man I guessed was Rodyle.

"Please pardon my manners, I hadn't heard you arriving. Indeed, that decoration is really charming. You must be Rodyle?" I smiled at him and removed my sunglasses, putting back on my confident expression.

"In person. And who have I the honor of meeting?" Rodyle asked me without ceasing to smile, holding out his hand towards me.

I shook his hand and noticed it took him time to release his hold on me. He was looking closely at me. I hid my discomfort the best I could.

"I'm Sano Nagano. I work for Anji Yabuki. I think you know him well?"

Hearing Anji's name, Rodyle released my hand and walked to a table, taking hold of a bottle of champagne. He poured two glasses. He threw me a side glance and I was immediately on my guard.

"Of course! We often deal together, like you surely already know, but he generally comes in person…" Rodyle informed me in a voice he wanted pleasant.

I knew then that he was suspicious of me. My heart missed a beat. I had no room for mistakes. I kept an impassible mask as he was looking intensely at me and advancing towards me, giving me one of the two glasses. I took it while thanking him and pretended to drink it. I didn't trust him and he possibly could have slipped some drug or poison in the glass while I was not looking.

"Unfortunately, a pressing matter just arrived and he couldn't free himself to come. He gives you his regards." I replied without leaving his gaze, challenging him to suspect me anymore.

But I had no doubt he would investigate on my identity. I silently thanked Botta for having constructed me a file in his organization. It would prove useful.

"And you will tell him I do the same. So, what can I do for you?" His tone was playful and he was still smiling as much. I pretended being interested in a jewel box decorated with precious stones, gliding slowly a finger on the shutter.

"I came to discuss business with you. Anji seems interested in buying some of your… possessions…" I couldn't bring myself to call these poor victims differently. I just couldn't do it.

"Ah, I see… I can make you visit so you can admire the quality of the merchandise, what do you think?" He proposed me in a posed tone.

"With pleasure. If they please me, we could discuss the price afterwards, if you have the time, of course."

Rodyle put down his glass of champagne on the stained-glass table and I imitated him. He then put his hand on my back, inviting me to follow him and that simple gesture made me shiver. I didn't like the touch of that man.

"I have all the time in the world for you, Mr. Sano. This way, please."

I only nodded my head and let myself be guided by Rodyle despite my repulsion.

It was one of the most difficult experiences of my whole life. Rodyle made me visit the establishments and showed me the young women and men he forced to prostitute themselves on his behalf. I was forced to close my eyes in front of all this horror, knowing I couldn't do a damn thing, being obliged to keep my cover. But I was boiling inside. Rodyle was treating them like animals and I was holding back the urge to leave the print of my fist on his foul face. Some of his slaves were barely teenagers, for God's sake! The visit seemed to go on for an eternity and it never had been this difficult for me to keep my cool. I understood now when Kratos had told me this world was harder than I could even imagine.

We were back in the private lounge after what seemed like an eternity. I sat on the sofa and at my own helplessness and disgust, Rodyle came to sit close to me. I resisted my want to move away. I didn't want to give him satisfaction seeing he was making me feel uncomfortable. He put his arm on the top of the sofa, right behind my head. I immediately stiffened.

"So, what do you think of my collection, Mr. Sano?" Rodyle asked me in a sugary voice.

He was staring at me again and I forced myself to stare back.

"It is rather interesting. I will have to discuss with Anji on his preferences, but I'm persuaded he will agree to buy you some. We could discuss on the price you are ready to sell them afterward." I suggested in an equal voice, like what I was saying wasn't the most horrible thing in the world.

"Yes, I'm persuaded we will be able to come up with an understanding. Maybe with certain conditions…" He whispered and threw me a glance that gave me shivers.

I think I saw him move closer to me. Certain conditions… I could see what he had in mind; I could read it in his eyes. I swallowed with difficulty. That man was insane. I unconsciously moved away from him and I was about to respond when a man erupted in the room. I sighed with relief. Rodyle cast him a murderous glance and the man swiftly apologized while bowing his head.

"Lord Rodyle, we have a problem with Forcystus. He doesn't seem to accept the price we are proposing. He asks for your presence immediately." He talked rapidly, scared.

Scared of Rodyle or of that Forcystus, I couldn't say. Rodyle motioned him disdainfully to leave the room.

"All right, go tell him I'll be with him in a minute." He said in a weary voice before returning his attention on me. His subaltern quickly left the room.

"If you would excuse me, Mr. Sano, but I unfortunately must leave you. Could you come back in two days? We could discuss further…"

I felt his hand coming closer to my neck. I stood up straight away, trying not to show him my uneasiness. He stood up also. I reached my hand to him and he shook it, but I managed to let him go rapidly. I smiled politely at him.

"Of course. I wish you a good day."

"The same goes for you. Don't forget to talk to Anji about it." He recalled me.

"Do not worry, I won't forget."

Rodyle called one of his guards who arrived seconds after.

"You would be obliged to accompany that man to the exit." He asked him and I followed the man outside the building. When I was securely on the front seat of my car, I leaned my head on the headrest and sighed deeply. That meeting had drained me completely. It never had been this difficult to hide my emotions and I knew it wasn't the end of that. I had to meet him again in two days. Knowing I would see this man again was making me uncomfortable. I didn't like the way he was ogling me. I asked myself briefly if Yggdrasil knew that Rodyle would act that way towards me… I hoped not. But that wasn't important. I would have to be extremely prudent around him.

I thought back on the name Rodyle's subaltern had said. Forcystus. I would have to ask the chief and Botta if they knew that man. Maybe it was a good lead. I started my car and looked at the time. It was near one pm. I had passed more time with Rodyle than I had thought. My thoughts drifted towards Kratos. He must already be at the funerals of his family. I had promised him I would go to support him. I drove my car towards the place where the funerals were taking place, banishing all thoughts about Rodyle far away. All that mattered now was Kratos and nothing else.

* * *

I arrived at the funeral lounge fifteen minutes later. When I entered the room, I saw many people staring at me, may it be because of my clothing or the fact I was a perfect stranger, but I didn't pay it any attention. My eyes sought Kratos. I found him standing in front of an old couple. They were arguing loudly. Rather, it seemed to me like they were pouring a torrent of insults on Kratos and he was taking them without protesting. He must be thinking he deserved them, which was far from the truth. I soon couldn't take it anymore. I understood their point of view, but I was angry at them for accusing Kratos of committing a crime he didn't do. When the man lifted his fist to strike Kratos, I acted instinctively. I stood in front of him and took the strike head on. I didn't know what had gotten into me. I imagine I didn't want to see my friend hurt more than he already was. The wound of his heart was already so great! I ignored the expression of surprise on Kratos' face and joked, trying to relax the atmosphere. Obviously, it didn't work. When they asked who I was, I presented myself and I had to refrain myself from laughing when I saw their expression when I told them I had no intention of arresting Kratos. And he had to go and agree with them. His attitude irritated me. I didn't know how many times I would have to tell him he wasn't in fault. Finally, the couple moved away in anger and threatened to complain to Bryant about my behavior. My chief surely would not be happy with this. I would certainly hear about this.

I advanced to the altar and closed my eyes. I prayed for Kratos' family, for them to rest in peace. I also made a promise to Anna. I promised her I would take care of Kratos. I didn't want her to worry about him. When I finished, Kratos walked to the exit and I followed him. He surely didn't want to stay here a minute more with all these people whispering behind his back. My stomach suddenly cried his hunger and I laughed nervously when Kratos stared at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Say, have you eaten yet?" I asked him hoping the answer would be no.

I could always go eat alone somewhere, but company was always welcomed. Kratos shook his head.

"No, not yet. The perspective of going to the funeral had taken away my appetite." He admitted in a resign look.

I tapped his shoulder gently and smiled at him.

"Do you want to go eat somewhere? I'm dying of hunger!"

My stomach groaned again and, a lot louder this time. Kratos heard it and smiled softly. What would I give to see him laugh one day! He seemed thoughtful for a few seconds.

"Okay, let's go. Do you have somewhere in mind?"

I thought about it. I remembered a little Vietnamese restaurant that wasn't far from here. I hadn't gone there for a long time, but I was certain it was still there. It was rather quiet, so we wouldn't have to worry about being overheard.

"Yes, it's not far from here." I invited him to follow me and we walked towards the restaurant in a comfortable silence.

* * *

The atmosphere of the restaurant was exactly like I remembered. Warm and quiet, with a staff welcoming and cheerful. When we entered, the waitress came to greet us and made us sit in a remote corner. Kratos threw nervous glances around us.

"You really think it's a good idea to come here? We could be under surveillance…" He said in a low voice. I shook my head and looked at the menu.

"If Yggdrasil has one of us followed, then he already knows you're living at my home. What is important though, is that he doesn't discover who I really am, right?" I replied in a disinterested tone and I heard him groan his disapprobation. My friend was a real master in the art of talking with a few words. He took his menu and looked at it while casting me a side glance.

"How was your meeting with Rodyle? You saw him this morning, I imagine?"

When he pronounced that name, I stiffened and my hands gripped the menu with more force. My reaction didn't go unnoticed. Kratos frowned and I forced a halfhearted smile.

"Better than I had hoped, in fact. He doesn't seem to be suspicious of me, at least for now. And I think I got a lead. But I don't like him one bit. The way he looks at me, it gives me the chills… It seems like he wants nothing more than to add me to his _collection_…" I admitted the discomfort I felt near that man and I couldn't restrain myself from shivering. I saw Kratos' eyes darken and I frowned in confusion.

"Kratos? Is there something wrong?" I worried and his expression soon returned to normal.

"No, it's nothing. But I don't like it. Who knows what he has in mind… Please promise me you'll be careful around him." His gaze was being insistent on this point and that alarmed me. I felt the need to joke to dispel that feeling.

"Yes, yes, mother. Don't worry about me; I know how to defend myself!" I joked.

"I really hope so." He replied seriously.

The waitress came to take our orders. When she left, we stayed silent for a long moment. I was distractedly looking at the rain that had begun to fall outside when Kratos' voice brought my attention back on him.

"Yuan… Can I ask you a question, if it's not too personal?" He asked me with a look of hesitation.

I didn't know what he had in mind, but it seemed important to him.

"Go on, you can ask me anything." I assured him that I had nothing to hide. After all, he had revealed a lot of things on his life. It was only fair. He seemed to hesitate for a moment and I waited patiently.

"When we met, you said that you had lost someone dear to you… Who was it?" He asked in a whisper.

I wasn't expecting that question. I froze in my chair while my memories submerged me painfully. I saw regret and sorrow make his way in Kratos' dark eyes.

"Pardon me, I shouldn't have asked." He apologized sincerely and turned his gaze away.

I shook my head slowly and smiled sadly.

"No, don't worry about it. It's just that despite all these years, her loss his still painful…" I admitted and Kratos lifted his head, listening intently. On second thought, talking about it would surely not be a bad thing. And I didn't know anyone more susceptible to understand me than this man sitting in front of me.

"She was my wife, Martel." I whispered in a sad tone.

Again I saw regret on Kratos' face, as well as another strange expression. It seemed like confusion and… something else I wasn't able to put my finger on. When he noticed my staring at him, he immediately softened.

"I'm… I'm really sorry. But what happened?"

He pushed me to talk about the most painful events of my life that I had revealed only to a few persons of trust, including Botta. I always had difficulty to confide in others, but this time it came with amazing simplicity. My gaze lost itself again in the rain.

"We were married for a little more than one year. I was twenty at the time. We knew we were made for each other, and despite the disapprobation of our families, saying we were too young, we engaged to the other anyway. I was studying to become a lawyer, and her to teach to poor children of our district. We had our own apartment and she… she was expecting a child… _our _child!"

I had to stop for a few seconds at the painful memory and Kratos didn't push me. He was silently waiting for me to continue. I sighed tiredly.

"All was going well, we were happy and our family would soon be founded… But it didn't last. We were living in a district rather dangerous at night and I was always insisting for Martel to go home early. That evening, she had a reunion at the University and had called me to say she was going to be late. I hadn't insisted to go pick her up after, since it wasn't the first time it occurred! I still regret it… On the way leading to out apartment, there was gunfire between two street gangs. She… she was shot by a lost bullet. The time for the police to be told of the incident and for the paramedics to come on place, it was… already too late." I said in a broken voice as the memories were replaying violently in my head.

I closed my eyes to block the images that were displaying. I was still missing Martel. We had only such little time together that it all seemed like a dream today! Life could be so cruel! It had given me all I could have dreamed for to take it back afterwards in the most horrible way. Just like it had done with Kratos… I looked at him again and saw so much torment I had the impression _he _was the one who just told this story.

"Yuan, I don't know what to say, I…" He stammered, searching something to answer to my story. I shook my head slowly. He closed his mouth.

"Do not feel bad about this. It's all in the past and I can't do a thing about it, nor do you, or anyone. Those who have left will never return…" I whispered in a sad voice and plunged my gaze in his.

"So that's why you entered the police." He asked me just before the waitress arrived with our meals and a bottle of sake. I poured us each a glass before answering.

"Yes. After her death, I quit my studies and applied to enter the police. I couldn't bear to let men like those that had killed my wife to roam the streets in liberty. And I had realized that being a lawyer, I would have to _defend_ criminals like that sometimes! The only thought of doing something like that disgusted me."

"I understand. I don't think I would have been able to do that either." His gaze darkened and we fell into a comfortable silence.

I marveled at the way we understood each other, at how it was so easy to stay in the other's company. I had rarely felt like that, except with… Martel. I chassed that thought away before it got too far. After several minutes of silence, a question suddenly came to mind and I pulled Kratos out of his reverie.

"If I got it well, that couple back there were Anna's parents?" I asked curiously, downing a gulp of sake at the same time. I saw my friend frown.

"Yes. They never accepted our alliance. They said I was only a good for nothing who would only put her in danger…" He grumbled, his eyes lost in the contemplation of his plate. I groaned in disdain.

"Yeah, I heard that part. They thought their daughter wasn't aware of the danger? She must have known it better than them. But it didn't prevent her to marry the man she loved…" I remarked in a whisper and Kratos kept silent.

I knew it was still too soon to talk about this subject. Kratos' wound was still too fresh. My hand reached for my swollen cheek and I grimaced when my fingers touched the sensitive skin.

"In any case, her father has a good right hook! I'll feel it for a long time." I groaned at the memory of the impact. I froze in place when Kratos' fingers brushed softly my cheek. He looked sadly at me before slowly pulling back his hand.

"I'm sorry, it's because of me…" He whispered in a regretful voice.

The sensation of his touch stayed on my skin for a long time after his hand had left it. That gesture seemed to give raise to a fire from the depths of my soul and I tried to ignore it. I was scared of knowing his signification from fear of what it could be… Rather I irritated myself against his defeatist attitude and his tendency of feeling guilty.

"Please stop that. If not, I swear your cheek will be in the same state as mine!" I threatened him with the firm intention of carrying out my warning.

That made Kratos smile a little and he shut up. He must have understood I was being serious… I smiled in return. I couldn't say why seeing Kratos with a smile on his face was putting me in a good mood. I swore to myself that I would do my best to put a smile on his lips as often as possible.

* * *

We had gotten back at my apartment rather early, after doing a good grocery. I really didn't have anything much to eat and since I was no longer alone in my apartment, I've got no other choice. We couldn't really afford to eat outside all the time. Kratos decided to prepare dinner and I wasn't going to protest. After eating, Kratos came to watch television while I was typing my report. I had an understanding with Bryant that it would be more careful for me to go to the police station as few times as possible, in case I was being tracked down. I had to send him my reports at distance. I bumped on the name I heard today; Forcystus. I lifted my head and my gaze lingered on the hallway near the lounge.

"Kratos?" I called him and soon saw him standing in the hallway, looking at me with a questioning glance.

"Do you know of a person called Forcystus, by any chance?"

Kratos looked thoughtful for a long time before shaking his head negatively.

"No, never heard of him. Why do you want to know that?"

I sighed and my hand glided in my hair. If Kratos didn't know him, it wasn't a good sign. After all, he was directly under Yggdrasil! I noticed Kratos was still waiting for my answer.

"One of Rodyle's men said his name earlier. It seemed like he was dealing with him, but concerning what I don't know. I thought maybe you knew him." I explained in an annoyed tone.

Kratos came to sit with me at the table. He seemed pensive.

"Hum. It's highly probable that he deals with prostitution, no?" He suggested, glancing at me.

Kratos was right. It was the most probable supposition, but I couldn't take the chance. I put my face in my hand, sighing and looking at the screen of my laptop.

"It's possible, but I would like to be sure. I hope Anji can tell me more…" I muttered more for me than for him, but Kratos heard it anyway.

"Speaking of Anji, how did you succeed in infiltrating his organization?"

Kratos' question reminded me that I still hadn't explained to him how I managed to infiltrate this underworld. I turned my eyes on him, a faint smile on my lips.

"Oh, that's right, you do not know about it. Anji is not his real name. In fact, he works for the same department as me. He is one of my old friends." I explained simply and I saw surprise painting Kratos' features.

"He's an infiltrated police officer!? I never would have guessed… He's rather talented in deceiving the others."

"He's got no choice if he wants to keep his head. I have much to learn from him. In any case, he will be far from pleased when I will ask for his help again tomorrow."

"Why is that?" Kratos asked, confused. I rubbed mu temples, tired.

"I have to ask him if he knows Forcystus. I must learn who that man is no matter what… I've got a feeling it's important."

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you, Yuan." Kratos apologized. I shook my head and patted his shoulder.

"Don't worry about that! I can't expect you to know every single yakuza out there. Maybe he isn't even one."

Kratos kept silent. He seemed thoughtful. I rubbed my eyes and muffled a yawn. One thing was for sure, I had worked enough tonight. I closed my laptop and stretched my sore muscles. I then noticed Kratos was staring at me. I frowned, uncomfortable of being studied like that.

"What? Is there something on my face?" I asked brusquely.

Kratos didn't bother answering and got up. I swear I saw a small smile dawn on his lips before he turned away and disappeared in my bedroom. It was so sudden I wasn't sure I saw right.

* * *

Again that night, I wasn't able to find sleep. It was near one in the morning and I couldn't close my eyes, despite my tiredness. Kratos had been sleeping for a long time now. I was sitting on the sofa, curled in my blanket, watching TV absentmindedly. I soon heard a door being opened and the hushed sound of feet on the ground. I turned my head and wasn't surprised to see Kratos standing at the entrance of the lounge, looking at me with an indecipherable expression.

"Yuan? You're awake?" He murmured, looking surprised. I nodded my head.

"I can't find sleep, again. And you also, as I can see." I remarked, noticing his tired face in the same time.

Kratos agreed and sat next to me on the sofa. Up close, I could distinctly see pain haunting his dark pupils. I needn't more proof to know what had waked him up.

"It's the nightmares, right?" I whispered in a sympathetic voice.

Kratos clenched his jaw and closed his eyes.

"Yeah. There's not one night where they don't haunt me." He admitted in a weak voice.

I stayed silent for a short moment. Kratos stood up brusquely and turned his back to me.

"Pardon me. I shouldn't bother you with this." He whispered regretfully.

To hear him feeling guilty again irritated me, but I didn't show it this time. I _needed_ him to stay with me. Without thinking, I caught feverishly his wrist, preventing him from moving away. Kratos rapidly turned towards me, looking with confusion at me.

"No, I beg of you, stay…" I begged him without a care of what my voice had just looked like.

We stayed like that for a few seconds, my gaze lost in his eyes I was beginning to love more and more. Finally, Kratos sat back on the sofa and I averted my eyes, ashamed of my attitude. But I couldn't do a thing about it. I didn't want to be left alone.

"I would really like that you stop thinking you bother me all the time. I offered you to stay here because I wanted it. Whatever you do, I will never think that." I said sincerely.

Kratos observed me closely and I refused to meet his eyes. His voice soon reached me in a whisper.

"I could never thank you enough, Yuan. You're giving me so much and I can't do a thing in return…"

"Don't be stupid. Your company is more than enough." I assured him softly.

Kratos added nothing and I noticed he was wearing a t-shirt and was probably cold right now. I unwind the blanket wrapped around me and spread it on us two, hoping the heat would make him feel better. Kratos seemed surprised by my gesture, but he soon settled more comfortably in the sofa.

"…Why can't you sleep?" He asked me suddenly after a moment of silence.

I stared at the television screen.

"Since Martel's death, I suffer of insomnia. It's not rare for me to stay up all night." I revealed to him, surprised that he still hadn't noticed.

"You miss her, right?" He asked me, his question seeming more like an affirmation. I had a sad smile.

"Of course, but I mourned her a long time ago. I'll never get used to the loneliness though… I think I'll never be able to." I murmured in a sad voice.

"So why don't you live with someone? You have friends, right?" He inquired curiously.

I closed my eyes and sank further into the sofa.

"Generally, I can't bear their company." I admitted while thinking back at my friends.

I was close to the most part of them only for necessity, not because I appreciated them. The only one I considered like a real friend was Botta and he had his own family.

"But you support mine…" Kratos remarked while observing me intensely.

I felt myself blush against my will and I thanked the darkness that prevented Kratos to see it.

My tiredness seemed to fall back on me and I couldn't stop myself from putting my head on Kratos' shoulder. I felt him tense up for a split second before relaxing again.

"… Yeah, you seem different somehow… Your presence makes me feel good." I whispered in a sleepy voice, not aware of what I was saying in my second state. Kratos didn't answer. I felt myself sinking slowly in the blissful abyss of sleep. The last sensation I felt was that of Kratos' arm circling my waist and pulling me softly close to him. I fell asleep with a smile on my lips.

* * *

I jumped when my cell phone rang in the middle of the night, waking me in a start. Confused, I looked around me to see where I was now. Seeing Kratos sleeping besides me, I remembered having fallen asleep against him. He turned slightly in his sleep, but I didn't get the pleasure to observe him. My cell phone rang again and I swiftly pick it up to avoid awaking my friend.

"Yes?" I asked sharply, wondering who in the world could call at three in the morning.

"Officer Yuan Ka-Fai? I'm Sheena from the laboratory of the judicial police. I'm really sorry to call you at this hour, but officer Shibuya asked us to call you as soon as the analysis would be finished, no matter the hour…" She explained in an uncomfortable voice.

That damn Orochi. He would not get out unharmed the next time I'll see him, that's for sure! But at least I was happy to know the analysis were ready.

"So, what did you find? You managed to identify the evidences?" Since I was already awake, I wanted to know what had come out of the analysis.

"Yes. Concerning the liquid substance, it's inflammable oil. There's nothing weird concerning it. We managed to open the pendant. It only contains a photography, but it's not in a good state. And the powder retrieved somewhere near the house, well… it would be best if you could come yourself to see it." At the sound of her voice, I guessed that something was wrong concerning the mysterious powder.

My curiosity was sparked, but glancing at Kratos' sleeping form, I decided to put my visit to the laboratory to tomorrow. Well, to a more advanced hour of the morning, since it was already three in the morning.

"It can wait later, I hope?" I asked and muffled a yawn.

"Of course. You can come to the laboratory whenever it suits you best." Sheena assured me in a voice that seemed amused. I must have sound funny on the phone.

"Very good. I thank you for having analyzed the evidence quickly." I thanked her sincerely. I knew that young woman very well for having to work with her several times in the past and I knew she was a good person, not like that bastard Orochi. She worked rapidly and effectively.

"No need to thank us, it's part of our job. Then, I will not bother you more. Farewell, officer Ka-Fai." She said goodbye and I did the same.

"Goodbye, Sheena."

I hang up and put my cell phone on the low table in front of the sofa, so that I could pick it up quickly if someone else had the marvelous idea to call in the middle of the night. I sat back on the sofa and looked at Kratos for a few moments. He seemed so… at peace! I never saw him like that, without the constant pain that was tearing him apart… I was relieved to see he wasn't attacked by nightmares this time. I put my head back on his shoulder and huddled close to him, putting the blanket on me again. It didn't take much time before I fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud : **Hope you like this chapter, people!! With it, Yuan has begun his mission concerning Rodyle. Will it go wrong, or will Yuan succeed to bring back information on his betrayal to Yggdrasil? Find out soon!!

I take this time to thank **Accident Prone **and **Skittle-Scattle**, our faithful reviewers for supporting us so!! Thank you so much!!

And for the others who like this story so far, we would _really_ appreciate that you leave some comments!! Come on, it doesn't take too much time and it makes us really happy!

Next chapter will probably be delayed a little, because I'll be busy with moving away. I'm sorry in advance, don't kill us please… ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N : **We still own nothing, as always, except the fanfiction. And thanks to Little Rosebud for translating! (Don't worry, she had time to move and I'm going to translate her chapters in exchange *laugh*)

* * *

**Chapter**** 7**

When I was about to leave the room, Yuan had stopped me by grabbing my wrist. It was with surprise and incomprehension that I turned around to read a huge solitude in my friend's eyes. I stayed stunned for several seconds, the policeman's eyes creating an unknown feeling in me. A feeling that seemed like nostalgia and compassion, but it was also something else I couldn't identify.

So I sat quietly near him, offering him what he desired so much, watching him while he turned his gaze away. I didn't understand; why did he seem so embarrassed by his request? It was only natural for him to want some company, no?

He then claimed that I wasn't bothering him and that I never would. What he didn't understand, on the other hand, was that it wasn't easy for me to show even a little part of my emotions. I was so used to keep an impassible mask all the time now… Even if I wanted to remove it now, I wouldn't be able to manage to do it. Anyway, he was already offering me a lot, just as he was saying himself. I certainly could not bother him with more and more of my problems!

Yuan got me out of my torpor when he threw a part of his blanket on me. I stared at the new source of warmth for a moment, disconcerted, not knowing what to say. Once again, he was giving in order for me to have everything needed. A light and bitter smile was brought on my lips, but it quickly disappeared. I shouldn't think that way. I should simply thank him and find an occasion to pay him back. I had actually been cold until now, so the blanket was welcomed. Might as well use it.

While we were talking, he admitted he would never get used to the loneliness and that even so, he didn't like going to the people he knew. But then, why did my company seem to reassure him so? This fact was puzzling me, but I had to admit I was deeply touched by it. Did this mean he trusted me more than all of his friends? It was strange since until a few days ago, we were perfect strangers to each other.

Suddenly, his head dropped on my shoulder and I stiffened with stupefaction and a little discomfort. What the…? Was it simply tiredness that was making him act like this? Or was it… No, I didn't want to think about it. It was completely stupid, first, and I didn't have the right to think about such a thing when I had just said farewell to my wife.

Still, when I turned my gaze on Yuan, I couldn't stop myself from smiling with kindness and I settled more comfortably in the sofa. He was so peaceful! It was clear my presence was beneficial to him and I finally realized it might be my way to thank him. So, as he was about to fall asleep, I softly put an arm around his waist and I brought him closer to me to make him more comfortable. I surprised myself acting like this, being this gentle. After all, I never acted this way with someone other than Anna and Lloyd. So to act like this with Yuan right now… Was I betraying my wife? This thought made me wince and I told myself I should surely let go of him. And yet, I couldn't resign myself to do it. His peaceful face while he was sleeping was enough to melt all my worries. Anyway, I was holding him like this only to reassure him, simply because he was my friend. There was absolutely no other reason.

I muffled a yawn and searched for the remote control that I found on the arm of the sofa on Yuan's side. Softly, I reached for it, trying not to wake my companion, and then closed the television. It was then, in the complete silence, that I was able to fall asleep while keeping the police officer against me, feeling as reassured of having his presence this close.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up as a shiver ran through my back. A source of warmth had just left me and even though the blanket had kept a part of this warmth, it wasn't enough. I opened an eye, soon followed by the other, only to see Yuan walking out into the kitchen. The sun's rays were infiltrating pass the thick curtain on the wall of the lounge where the window was, proving me it was already morning. My gaze shifted towards the clock and seeing it was only six in the morning, I groaned softly. I hadn't slept much and neither did Yuan. How come he was able to get up so early?

But even despite the early hour, I still had to get up to go to work. I had succeeded in getting a day off yesterday, I certainly could not permit myself more or Yggdrasil would become wary of me.

I stretched lazily and grimaced, my body completely stressed. Sleeping in a sitting position on a sofa really wasn't for me. I thought that if we were to repeat the experience, I would guide him to the bed, knowing we could both sleep without fear of getting aches the next morning.

I got to the bedroom to fetch my clothes and changed rapidly before going to the kitchen where Yuan was already preparing something quick to eat. Sitting at the table, I watched him absent-mindedly. "You have to go to the police station this morning?" I asked him. It was the only reason I saw for him to get up so early. After all, he was not seeing Rodyle before tomorrow. At the only thought of that man, I grimaced. I had to admit I feared for Yuan's safety. Because not only Rodyle could easily get rid of him, he could also take advantage of him and take him into his _collection_, as Yuan had mentioned yesterday. I had to take care of the man before me, maybe getting him followed by someone of trust who would warn me if something happened to him. And I just had the right person in mind.

"Yeah, the evidence has been analyzed. I'm going to the laboratory to see the results." I was pulled out of my thoughts and turned towards him softly, in shock. I had completely forgotten the police had found evidence that would allow them to find the main murderer of my family. How could I have forgotten? That was supposed to be my priority!

I sighed and nodded. "I see. If I can help with anything, just give me a sign." I said with seriousness. I wanted to find that criminal and make him pay as much as Yggdrasil. I had no idea who he possibly could have sent, but I hoped to know it soon.

Yuan smiled at me as he held out a plate with two pieces of toast. "Of course." He sat near me and chewed on his own piece of bread, thoughtful. "But tell me, if Anji has no idea about Forcystus' identity, isn't there someone who we could ask in the organization without telling Yggdrasil? I don't want to talk about that now in case it's a false trail or something totally useless." He said while scowling. Straight away, a person occurred to my mind. Well, a person… She wasn't really one, but he would find out soon enough. "Yeah, there's someone in fact. Drop to the headquarters in the afternoon, I will introduce you to her. I will wait for you in front of my room." He seemed surprised that there was actually someone that could perhaps help him, but also seemed pleased. "And who is it? Did I meet her already?" He asked with curiosity. He was slightly disappointed when I shook my head. "Her name is Tabatha. She's Yggdrasil's secretary."

He almost choked on his piece of toast. "I just asked you to meet someone other than Yggdrasil! And personally, I regard his secretary as being himself!" He exclaimed, irritated. I rolled my eyes before his sudden change in attitude. "Don't worry. Tabatha is a little…. peculiar. There's not really a chance of her telling him if we ask her not to. Even more, her office is not that close to Yggdrasil's. Let's just say that… sometimes he can't bear to see her. I explained and he looked at me with confusion, now puzzled. However, I shook my hand to chase the subject away. "I'll explain after you see her. You will understand better." I disappointed him again, though his curiosity was sparked.

In fact, I really wanted him to meet Tabatha. Because Yuan had told me his deceased wife was called Martel. And Martel certainly was not a common name. So if she really was the woman I thought she was, I would immediately know it once Yuan saw Tabatha.

I finished eating my breakfast before standing up, throwing a glance at the clock. "Well, I have to go now if I don't want to be late. Meet me this afternoon at one pm, okay?" And without another word, I quickly left the apartment. It wasn't that I was fleeing from this place, far from it, but rather that I needed to see someone absolutely. And that person was usually at the headquarters only early in the morning. The rest of the time, she was traveling from district to district in Osaka, becoming unobtainable.

When I arrived at destination, I didn't waste time and walked towards to place I knew to be her room. I couldn't help a soft exclamation of relief before putting my mask back on when I saw her close the door behind her as she was leaving her room. With her two long pink bunches on each side of her head, she turned around when she heard me approaching and stared at me with her almost expressionless blue eyes. She was wearing a simple black suit slightly tight on her frail waist of a sixteen year old young woman.

"Good morning, Mr. Aurion." She greeted me in an equal voice, as if she had been created mechanically without any emotions in the process. She had always been like this; her emotions were rarer than mine. I think it was the fact of living among the yakuza since she was a child that toughened her up like that. After all, she was exactly like me: took in and forced to work in such a place without being able to protest. She had climbed up grades in the ranks and had gained Yggdrasil's trust, but not enough to be close to him as Zelos and I were.

"Good morning, Presea." I answered with a nod of my head. "Say, do you have a minute? I have something to discuss with you, but this hallway certainly contains too much prying ears." Even if my words could seem suspicious, I had always acted that way with the important members of our "family". It was the best mean to talk about Yggdrasil's projects without being overheard by less graded yakuza and it was also the best mean to let them believe I was always talking about said projects. However, it was far from being the case with Presea. Because we both wanted to get out of this hellish hole and rebuild our lives. Seeing we had the same goal, we had agreed to help each other like we could. She had then obtained my trust since a few years ago and I had too.

She nodded her head. "I have some time. Your office?" She asked as she walked to the opposite side of the hallway from where I had arrived. I quickly followed her without answering. I had no need to. We were so used to meet up in my office after all. We quickly arrived, not wasting time to talk on the way. We weren't the talkative kind anyway.

When I entered the room, I came to sit behind my desk, near the window from which the curtains were open. It was certainly one of the rare rooms that seemed less dark with the sun that penetrated in it. I couldn't say I adored this room, but at least I wasn't feeling too uncomfortable in it.

Presea sat in front of me after closing the door, staring at me, waiting for me to talk. Which I did without delay. "I have a favor to ask of you." I got directly to the point. "Surely you have heard of Sano Nagano, Yggdrasil's new informant?" She nodded and I went on. "Well, I'm worried about him. For his first mission, Yggdrasil is sending him to see Rodyle and get information about his betrayal. And you know of Rodyle's hypocrisy: if he doesn't get rid of Sano, he'll surely try to make him one of his prized _possessions_." She nodded again before going ahead of my words. "Taking in account that Mr. Nagano seems to be a handsome man, there's more chance that Rodyle will take him in his custody using force." She analyzed with an impassible face.

I sighed. "Indeed, and that is why I'm worried. Which is also why I have a favor to ask of you. Knowing your talents in infiltration while being completely unnoticed, I would like you to follow Sano and call me if anything ever happens to him. He returns there tomorrow. Would it be possible?" I was too worried to let Yuan go there alone. He didn't know Rodyle like Yggdrasil and I, and so many horrors could happen to him. I couldn't prevent a brief shiver before transferring my attention back on the teenager.

"I can manage." She declared, getting out a little agenda from one of the pockets of her jacket to write in it. "However, I would like to know why you so want to protect that man. Isn't he exactly like Magnius, Pronyma and all the other spies Yggdrasil has hired?"

Like them? The need to give a force laughed came to me, but I retained it. He was far from being like them, both on the level of the work or the behavior. Yuan was simply too innocent in this story. Which was why I was still so bitter of his decision to infiltrate. That world would surely defile that purity I would have preferred to keep intact. "No. He's like us." I answered in a lower voice this time, in case someone was listening from the other side of the door. The chances were slim, but we never knew.

My answer pulled out a small smile from the young girl and she stood up. "I see. In that case, I will take care of him without any problems." Her smile disappeared as soon as it had came and she bowed before me. "I wish you a good day, Mr. Auri – " She was suddenly interrupted by a door opening and a young man with orange hair entering the office. He was wearing one of his charming smiles while staring at Presea. "Oh, hello my beloved beauty! I didn't know you were here!" He whispered gently. However, the beauty in question completely ignored him. She wished me goodbye for good this time and left the office without even one look to Zelos. The latter had a weary sigh and lowered his head ruefully. "She's so cold." He complained dramatically, one hand on his forehead.

He was highly annoying me.

"I thought I told you already to knock before entering, Zelos." I groaned with a hint of discouragement. But inside, I was irritated and most of all, afraid. Did he hear all that was said between Presea and me? After all, he had entered just in time as we were ending our conversation. And that conversation could seem shady for someone listening from the other side of the door.

But by seeing his murderous look in view of my comment, I noted with relief that it was not the case. If he really had heard the entirety of the conversation, he would have looked at me with a mocking smile to provoke me. He also would have taken off quickly to tell Yggdrasil.

"Then please pardon me, _oh_ great Kratos!" He declared with sarcasm while rolling his eyes. "However, I bring important news on Yggdrasil's part, so I didn't see the need to knock." He observed me in a haughty way while throwing a bang of his red hair behind his shoulder in a harsh gesture.

"I will point out to you that what I'm asking you is only politeness, _oh_ imbecile! Furthermore, must I remind you that you are my subordinate? So, you automatically have to be polite towards me." I recalled him, not without a small mocking smile, which earned me a second murderous glare. "Why do you have both the roles of the Saiko-komon and the Waka-gashira?! Couldn't Yggdrasil leave me at least one of them? Why does he trust you more than me? _I _didn't betray him, at least!"

As he was complaining, I had just opened my computer to begin my work.

I indeed had the two positions Zelos had just mentioned. So not only was I taking care of all that concerned finances, accountancy and business, I was also seeing to the best assassins of our "family". It was clear that since I had spent my childhood with Yggdrasil, I was the man in whom he was putting his trust the most. And the Saiko-Komon always had the ear of the "father" of the family. I was then awarded with the role.

However, Yggdrasil must have thought that I would be bored only doing accountancy and having no power over the employees, if I can say it thus, since he granted me the position of the Waka-gashira, knowing perfectly that I had made my proof a long time ago. The Saiko-komon was pulling the strings, but wasn't giving orders. The Waka-gashira, on the other hand, had power over the strongest men of the house. I had therefore gotten the two positions at my own regret.

"We already had this kind of conversation and it's not my place to answer. If Mithos wants you to keep your position, then stay there without complaining. You're already lucky to be at such a high rank." I recalled him with dark eyes before turning them back on the screen. I knew I was provoking him and making him angry, but I did not held Zelos dear into my heart. So why should I strive for him? "And I don't know what you're talking about, I never betrayed Mithos." I knew perfectly well what he had implied, but I preferred to act as if I didn't know the meaning of his words. One hand on the computer mouse, I opened the financial reports, with all the orders that just came in and I rolled them down, observing them vaguely.

The teenager bent over my desk, staring at me with a huge mocking smile, eyes shining with malice. His two hands on the wood desk, he spoke again, "A pretty young lady with silky hazelnut hair, eyes that surely gleamed with a little something that could melt anybody. She looked like a real goddess!" He started, replacing a bang of his hair behind his ear. I was surprised that Zelos wasn't insulting her like Yggdrasil did. But it was Zelos we were talking about here. After all, he was a real womanizer. But even though he was talking of her in a good way, he was irritating me. "I don't have a clue how she could have ended with someone like you." He exclaimed with disdain and I retained myself from wincing. "She could have found someone much better! She needed a god, an Apollo, someone like me!" Did he forget the age difference? "But _I_, at least, would have refused her. Because I would never betray Yggdrasil!" He was _seriously_ pissing me off. "But you, you! Not only did you become infatuated with her, even though she was a true goddess, you even had a little monster." His last words were pronounced with disgust. "How dare you do something so hideous to the frail body of that goddess?" I had more than enough! If he continued to talk like that about my son, I knew he would fly out of my office with his _so_ handsome face more than banged-up!

"I don't see what you're talking about." I surprised myself again of my calm and indifference at his hateful words. I felt guilty for not protecting Lloyd, but if I did, Zelos would obtain what he wanted.

The latter frowned in front of my lack of reaction and he displayed a disappointed pout. He opened his mouth to reply, but I interrupted him. "And Yggdrasil sent you here to entrust something to me. If you take forever, he will be furious." That seemed to make its effect since the teenager straightened up after returning to a serious state. Well… the more serious Zelos coud be.

"Yggdrasil has reasons to think that Dorr is trying to betray us. Apparently, the fact that we might have the medicine to heal his wife if he works for us is not enough anymore." I raised an eyebrow and turned my gaze on Zelos. "The minister of Foreign Affairs?" Ah well, it wasn't much of a surprise. Even though that minister was a coward, his henchman was someone of good nature. He must have succeeded in convincing him that what he did wasn't the right thing.

Zelos nodded at my question and rolled his eyes. "Yes. Yggdrasil thinks now would be the right time to get rid of him." I winced internally. I would have to kill someone again. My hands were already stained so much, but I didn't like the idea to dirty them even further.

I sighed while looking back at my computer screen. "Very well. I will send someone. This should be done in a few days." How… How could I be so cold before a murder that would soon take place? How could I bring about an assassination, even?!

"Yeah, I'm sure of it." The young man grumbled as he threw me a haughty look and I ignored it. It was after an annoyed expression that he finally left the room without another word. When he was out, my face became weary and I buried it in my hands. How I couldn't wait for Yuan to find all the evidence necessary to finally put Yggdrasil behind bars! I had enough already! Enough of being obliged to take the life of innocents only because they weren't useful to Yggdrasil anymore, enough of being a merciless murderer! I wanted a normal life, only a simple life… But it would never happen, wouldn't it?

I looked again at the financial reports, sighed at length, and then printed them before placing them at the corner of my desk to give them to my superior later on. I then left my office in search of one of my men to give him Dorr's case. I would warn Yuan later when we would be back at his apartment. Maybe he could ask some of his colleagues to protect the minister and that he would survive.

* * *

My back leaning on the door frame behind me, my eyes were traveling from left to right, watching the side from which Yuan would arrive. Moreover, I wondered how it had gone at the police station. Had the evidence been enough to find the murderer? Or to at least give a good lead? Unfortunately, I knew I couldn't ask him once he arrived. It was far from being the good emplacement to talk about that.

The officer finally arrived, greeting me with a sign of his hand and smiling gently. I stood back again on my feet before meeting up with him. I didn't even dare ask him how it had gone this morning, in fear of letting something slip out. "So, was Anji able to help you out?" I got to the point, not seeing the point in doing small talk with the "newcomer". My words had their effect as a scowl made his way on his face. "No." He growled lowly, suddenly in a bad mood. It seemed like he actually did called his friend to learn more about Forcystus. Besides, that man was also intriguing me. Who could he be for me to not have an idea about his identity? For Rodyle to pass him before Yuan, who was Anji's subordinate after all, he was necessarily important. And if he indeed was important, it was strange that I had never heard of him before, because I knew all the people Yggdrasil knew. This meant Yggdrasil too must not know who this character was.

Really strange…

I tapped his shoulder to comfort him. "Very well, let's go see Tabatha in that case." And without another word, I walked towards Yggdrasil's secretary office. I noticed the door was already opened and I entered the room at the same time as Yuan, throwing him a quick glance to see what would be his reaction after closing the door. Before us, sitting behind a wooden desk, what resembled a young woman was typing on the keyboard of her computer, her green eyes staring at the screen. Her long green apple hair, put togheter in a braid, was falling to her lower back. She was wearing a hat on the entirety of her head that was only revealing her forelock, of which two bangs were covering her ears. Her clothes consisted in a simple short dress of which the white collar with black edges was linked to the rest of her black clothing. On the skirt were visible two green lines hidden by the desk. However, even though she resembled a real woman, the secretary had something that looked inhuman. Maybe it was the mechanical movement of her body, her lack of reaction when we entered, or maybe a lack of glimmer in her eyes.

Yuan halted suddenly when seeing her, his eyes widening with stupor, but especially with horror. And I immediately understood my suspicions were accurate. "M –" He began, but I interrupted him while advancing towards the young woman.

"Here's Tabatha, Yggdrasil's secretary. As you can see for yourself, she resembles a woman, but there's something off. That would be because she's a robot. She was created by Altessa, a scientist working for our superior." Yuan was now looking at me with genuine confusion and I understood well the question in his eyes. How could a robot be created as the exact replica of his wife? He observed again the android that hadn't moved since we entered. "But it's Mar –" He began again, but I frowned and cut him off quickly. "Don't say her name!" I harshly exclaimed and he froze in place. I sighed and put my hands on the desk behind me, leaning on it. "Sano… I have only one question for you. The last name of your wife, was it Kimura?" His eyebrows creased and his confusion grew even more. "How do you know of it?" After all, he had never mentioned it.

I sighed again. Here I had gotten the last confirmation I needed. "Kimura was the last name of Yggdrasil's mother. And not only did she have a son, but she also had a daughter, Martel Yggdrasil." Yuan's face decomposed when he understood the gravity of my words. "One day, however, she decided to leave her husband to get away from this psychotic word and brought her daughter with her. She didn't like her son, so she decided to let him live in this world while abandoning him, despite her daughter's protestations. That is why Martel Yggdrasil became Martel Kimura and you never knew about any of that." I turned my head towards Tabatha, who had still not left her work. "I grew up with Yggdrasil and his sister, that's why I had doubts when you said her name and that's also why I brought you to see her. Because she has been created to replace Yggdrasil's lost sister. Unfortunately, even though she has some sort of conscience, she is still an android and can never be his sister. It happens sometimes that Yggdrasil cannot stand to see her, thus the reason why his office is so far from here. That way, he can't destroy her in an excess of anger."

A feeling of nostalgia took hold of me as I was remembering the days I had grown up with Mithos and Martel. I terribly missed these days where I could live peacefully. Yuan walked to my side, detailing the android in front of him. I knew he was troubled; After all, he had the exact replica of his wife before him. If there had been a replica of Anna in front of me, I would have had the same kind of reaction. "I understand now." He started in a low tone. "She often talked about her little brother, a cute boy she adored. She had said however that she could never see him again and she never told me his name. Each time I asked her, she was avoiding the subject. Everything is clear now." He had a soft laugh without joy and I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You now know that her name is taboo in this place. If Yggdrasil ever came to learn you have been her husband, you'll not get away unharmed." Yuan must have found strange that I was saying those words after I had just talked about her with the risk of being overheard. However, no one was crossing these hallways. Yggdrasil had forbidden to the entirety of the family to pass here, because he didn't want the identity of his precious android to be known, not even to Zelos. I was the only one that could come here with Yggdrasil and if he really did hear us, he would have already showed himself since several minutes. Anyway, as I was last aware, it was now a time where seeing Tabatha was putting Yggdrasil in a dark anger. I doubted he would come to see her today. It was then a safe place to talk.

"Okay, Tabatha?"

The young woman lifted her head and looked at me with a charming smile. Poor Zelos, I'm sure he would be jealous of me because he couldn't meet her like I could. "Yes, Mr. Aurion, what can I do for you?" She asked in a voice that seemed totally human. I had to admit Altessa had constructed her well. If someone threw her a quick glance, they could really have the impression she was human. You had to know it beforehand that she was a machine. "I need you to look for a man named Focystus. Check if you have his name somewhere in your data, may it be providers, buyers or simple clients. Don't limit yourself to Japan, also search far away in east Asia." She nodded and suddenly, her eyes that had at least looked human weren't anymore. Sounds of downloading were heard and countless data scrolled in her eyes. Now she really seemed like an android.

I knew she was searching first in the most important data that she was keeping in her own hard drive. That way, if Forcystus was known to our family and someone really important, she would find him.

Several minutes passed before she came back to us. "I'm sorry, but there's no one of this name in my data. I will check on the computer, just give me a moment." And no sooner said than done, her fingers were typing on her keyboard in a phenomenal speed. She searched in all her files before stopping definitely and shaking her head. "No, I really have nothing on this man. Please pardon me, Mr. Aurion." Yuan sighed with defeat, disappointed that she too hadn't found something on this man. "Too bad, I'll manage." He grumbled.

"Thank you very much, Tabatha. Now, as soon as we are out of this room, I want you to erase the data concerning all that happened since we entered your office, have I made myself clear?" Asking her that would make sure she wouldn't remember seeing us, nor having searched information on Forcystus.

She nodded and, satisfied, I turned around towards the door and left the room, Yuan behind me.

As we were walking down the hallway, I told Yuan of an important rule, "Don't tell anybody about what you have seen today, is that clear? Nobody besides Yggdrasil, Altessa and I have the right to meet Tabatha. Once again, if Yggdrasil learns that you saw her, you can say goodbye to your life, and I, to mine." The policeman nodded his head with seriousness without saying anything. That silence stayed between us as we were walking the hallways of the headquarters until we reached my office. I sat behind my desk, ready to go back to work, while Yuan was looking at the clock. But before he could say anything, Yggdrasil entered the room. "Kratos, you're here, I was looking for you." He stopped when he took notice of Yuan and his eyes creased viciously. Straight away, Yuan tensed in an uncomfortable way, even though his gaze stayed determined. He didn't want to be ashamed of being in the office of one of his superiors and it was out of the question he would submit gently to Yggdrasil. Well… that is what I thought I read in him.

Yggdrasil' bitter expression transformed into a malicious smile. "Hmm… Sano, isn't it? What could you possibly be doing here? Don't tell me you came to ask for Kratos' help! Did I give you a task too difficult in the end?" He whispered with mockery. "Be careful, that's not what I'm expecting out of you!" He chuckled lowly, chuckled spitefully. Immediately, Yuan's body tensed again, but with determination this time, his eyes gleaming with a burning fire. "That is not the case, Lord Yggdrasil. I only needed information on the other places Rodyle is occupying and since Anji is busy right now, I came to see Mr. Aurion. I wasn't going to bother you for so little, after all." I had to admit he did well this time. Yggdrasil let out a disdainful "Hmph", disappointed by his lack of reaction, before turning towards me, ignoring completely the source of boredom. "Kratos, don't forget we are going to Kyoto this weekend and we are leaving tonight." I only nodded. "I will wait for you in my office at seven, don't be late."

When Yggdrasil left my office, I groaned. I had completely forgotten we were leaving for Kyoto. With all the events that had happened these last days, this trip was the last of my worries. But now that it hit me in full shot, the idea of passing an entire weekend alone with Yggdrasil wasn't so appealing to me.

Yuan walked to my desk, frowning. "You didn't tell me you were leaving for the weekend." He reproached me with something in his voice that looked like… disappointment? Or maybe anger? I think there was also worry…

I shook my head to chase away such thoughts and fixed my attention on Yuan. "I forgot." Was my only answer. I stared at the clock on the wall and noticed it was already five thirty. I didn't have much time to prepare my bags. Unfortunately, it also meant I would not have the time to talk to Yuan about Dorr. Too bad, I would have to send him a mail and destroy all the evidence later. "Okay, I have some precisions to give you concerning your work, and since I do not have the time to explain now, I will send you a mail tonight. Check them tonight, am I clear?" Surprised, he nodded, wondering what kind of precisions I could give him. He would know it if he read it tonight, and I hoped he would act fast. I didn't want another death on my shoulders. "I have to go now. I should be back Sunday afternoon. Until then, please be careful with Rodyle." I declared with hard eyes. I didn't want him do to some crazy stuff either. Who knows what could happen?

He rolled his eyes and nodded. "Yeah yeah, don't worry. But…" He stopped for a moment, looking in the direction Yggdrasil had left. "You too, be careful." Seeing his gaze softly worried, I immediately knew I wasn't the only one that had noticed the strange looks our superior was giving me. I sighed. "Yes, I'll do my best." I grumbled. Let's just say being careful with Rodyle was ten times easier than being careful with Yggdrasil.

I finally left my office, locking it after Yuan had exited, then walked towards my room after a last goodbye.

That weekend was promising to be a true nightmare.

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**N/A : **Oh my, I hope Kratos will be ok during that weekend *eyes gleaming evilly* You'll have to wait two chapters to see, I'm so very sorry. In hope that I won't be hated! :3

But seriously, I hope that you liked this chapter. It was mostly technical, with the yakuza-ranking and all, but I did my best. It might not be truly accurate, as I did not search thoroughly, but it's the best I could do. After all, it's simply a fanfiction. You can always think it's a parallel universe to ours that resembles it, but that rules are slightly different xD

Anyways, thank you so much to our fateful reviewers! And to our new one as well, Flawed Imagination. It really means a lot to us, you don't know how much! :)

And now, wait for Little Rosebud's chapter with anticipation! Thank you again for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N : **Hello everyone, here's for you chapter eight. I really put my all in it, so I hope you will like it!! And we still own nothing, except our fanfiction!

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**Chapter 8 ( Yuan's P.O.V )**

I woke up early this Friday morning, leaving halfheartedly the heat Kratos' body was radiating, for I had to go to the laboratory to see the analysis of the evidence. I hoped will all my heart that it had given results. What Sheena had said on the phone concerning the powder was more confused than clear. During breakfast, I left my depressing thoughts when Kratos asked me if there was something he could help me with the investigation. I took the opportunity to ask him if someone he knows of might know something about that mysterious Forcystus. He then mentioned a girl named Tabatha and I was left confused when he said Yggdrasil couldn't bear to see her sometimes. I got a little frustrated when Kratos refused to say anything more, but I left it at that. I would see the meaning of his words later, since I agreed to meet Kratos at the beginning of the afternoon before going to see her.

When I arrived at the laboratory, I was disappointed to see Sheena had finished her work for the day. I had wanted to talk directly with her. Instead, I was greeted by her coworker, Tiga, a mature man with a sincere look. When he knew of the reason for my visit, he didn't waste time and motioned me to follow him to a long glass table where the evidence was laid-out.

"I'm glad to see you, officer Ka-Fai. Sheena told me you needed the analysis at a fast rate, so we did our best. But I'm afraid I can't say they were much conclusive." He admitted with a sullen look.

That news didn't surprise me. I feared the investigation would lead to nothing, a conclusion that wasn't rare in cases of criminal fires. In most cases, the fire destroyed all the potential evidence. It was a miracle there had been any.

"I still want to see the results." I asked him, curious of the meaning of Sheena's words.

Tiga gave me the report and I started reading it attentively. The first evidence was exactly what Sheena had said. The liquid was some kind of inflammable oil that was used to light the fire. Nothing new concerning that. As for the pendant, my gaze softened when I saw the copy of the photography inside it. Even slightly burnt at the sides, it was still recognizable. It was a photo of Kratos carrying a young boy in his arms, a magnificent young woman hanging on his arm. The tender smile on his face seemed to melt my heart. He was happy, like I never saw him. I realized suddenly that I saw Kratos wear a similar pendant. This one must have been his wife's. Knowing that it wouldn't serve the investigation, I promised myself to bring it back to Kratos as soon as I could. I would talk to Bryant about it when I would get the chance. I continued to look over the report and frowned when I read about the powder found near the house.

"Datura!? But it's a drug highly dangerous and rare!!" I exclaimed loudly, my eyes searching for the evidence displayed on the table.

"Yes. It seems that the criminal is taking part in drug trafficking. At least, he has contacts that do." Tiga explained his guesses while folding his arms with a severe look.

I became thoughtful. The datura was a drug that, because of his devastating hallucinogenic effects and the high risks of death in case of overdose, had been forbidden to selling and buying. Anyone caught in possession of such a drug was punished severely. It was why there were not many dealers that were doing traffic of datura.

"But we're lucky it was this drug in particular. It will make it easier for me." I thought aloud.

"I'm glad to know that maybe you have a lead." Tiga smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Thank you for having analysed them this fast."

"It's nothing. It's our job, after all." Tiga said me goodbye before moving away to another table, already focusing his attention on a new analysis.

I left the laboratory with renewed hope, bringing the report with me. I knew what I had to do now. I needed to ask Kratos to give me the list of all the drug dealers that were doing business with Yggdrasil. I would start with that for the investigation. It was better than nothing.

Once I was in my car, I called Botta. Rodyle's problem was still there and I absolutely had to know who was Forcystus.

"Hey Anji! You're not busy, I hope?" I talked in a playful and sarcastic tone, knowing that I was indeed bothering him, like always. I wasn't mistaken.

"… What do you want this time?" Botta muttered in the phone.

"What a greeting!! I'm sorry you're one of the only people that can help me the most in this investigation." I mocked with an exasperated sigh.

"Pardon me, it's just that… I don't have the habit to get mixed up in such a dangerous investigation, especially for someone other than me." Anji explained miserably after a moment of silence.

"I know. I wouldn't get you mixed in this if I could, believe me." I regained my seriousness.

I was all too aware of the consequences Botta would suffer if my identity was discovered. He had an adorable family, a home and a job in which he devoted himself! He had so much to lose and I couldn't bear to see him die because of me. But for now, I needed him and I had to trust in my ability to arrest Yggdrasil. I _had_ to believe in it.

"… What do you need?" The resigned voice of Botta got me out of my reverie.

"I only need to know if the name Forcystus rings any bells to you."

"Forcystus… Not as I'm aware… Give me a second. I will look in my files." I heard the sound of fingers taping on a keyboard. Many minutes passed on before I heard an upset sigh in the phone.

"No, he's nowhere to be found." My friend said.

"Damn. It seems he will really be hard to localize…" I muttered, my fingers clenching hard on the steering wheel of my car.

"Why do you need to know about that man?"

"He has business with Rodyle, but I don't know in what exactly. I only learned of his name. But now, I think it's probably essential information. For you and Kratos to not know about him…" The lack of information on this mysterious man was frustrating me.

"Yeah, well, sorry to not have been of any use. I hope you will find something." Botta apologized sincerely.

"Thank you, Anji. For everything." I murmured from the bottom of my heart.

I really thought what I said. Botta was a real friend on who I could count in any situations. He was one of the rare people I trusted with my own life and I appreciated him.

"Don't worry about it. Please be careful." Botta begged me.

"I'm always careful." I laughed to hide the uncertainty that got hold of me.

At this pace, the only person that would be able to inform me on Forcystus was Rodyle himself and that was an alternative I would prefer to avoid.

This morning, after calling Botta, I got to the police station. I had some work to do and I wanted to ask Bryant if that Forcystus wouldn't happen to be in the police's folders. Bryant welcomed me in his office with a big smile plastered on his face. I smiled back before taking a seat in front of him. He seemed in a good mood this morning. Quite the contrast with last time…

"How is your investigation going, Yuan?" He didn't waste time to ask for news.

"I think I'm on a good lead, but I must talk to Kratos about it to be sure. Otherwise, I'm trying to fulfill the first mission Yggdrasil has given me."

"About Rodyle, isn't it? He's a deceitful one. I would really like to put my hands on him." Bryant said thoughtfully, his features darkening.

"Unfortunately, I think that… you won't have the occasion. If really Rodyle is betraying Yggdrasil, he won't stay alive for long, I can assure you." I admitted and Bryant softened lightly.

"Yeah… It's a harm for a good, I think. But surely you didn't come here just to tell me that, no?"

"You're right. I wanted to know if a man named Forcystus was in the police's files." I asked, crossing my fingers in hope he would miraculously be there.

"Forcystus? Hum, let me check it out." Bryant turned towards his computer and began searching through it. I became discouraged when I saw him shook his head negatively after a long moment.

"It seems like he isn't there."

"It must be a joke… He seems like a ghost. Botta doesn't know him, as well as Kratos… Who might he be!?" I asked in a discouraged voice.

* * *

I met up with Kratos in front of his room at one pm, like he had asked me. He brought me to the office of Yggdrasil's secretary. When we arrived, my eyes went to the young woman sitting behind the desk. I couldn't do anything besides staring at her, mortified. That woman… she was an exact replica of Martel! When I tried to say her name, Kratos hastily cut me short. I was left shocked as Kratos was telling me the story of my wife's childhood, a story she had always refused to tell me. She was… Yggdrasil's sister. That thought gave me the urge to puke, but I managed to hold it back. I had been… Yggdrasil's brother-in-law without knowing it, the brother-in-law of a psychopathic murderer!! And if he came to discover that fact, even if he didn't doubt my real identity, he would intend to kill me, the one who had dared take over his precious sister. By Kratos' words, he seemed totally obsessed with her, so much that he would create a replica of her. That man was mad. I tried to forget about his relation to Martel, that I had loved with all my heart. If she knew of what his brother had become!

When I had gotten over my initial shock of seeing Tabatha, Kratos asked her if Forcystus was somewhere in Yggdrasil's files. Discouragement invaded me as she found no trace of him alltogheter. It seemed now that my only solution was to hear it directly from Rodyle's mouth. I had reached the bottom. I had to find the way to make him spill the information, and fast. Even if Yggdrasil gave me one week to fulfill my task, the less time I had to pass in the clutches of that sexual predator, the better it would be.

I followed Kratos again at his office. When Yggdrasil entered the room, I forced myself to keep a defiant attitude in front of his malicious glance. I had to hide him that something was troubling me. I felt pride swell in me when I shut him up with an excuse quickly thought. But my mood changed rapidly when he recalled Kratos their trip to Kyoto this weekend. Kratos was leaving this evening. He would be alone with Yggdrasil for a whole weekend. I hid my worry, for I was aware of the look he was casting to my friend sometimes. The same look as the one Rodyle had when he was looking at me. I wasn't oblivious. I knew of his intentions. When he was gone, I begged Kratos to be cautious. I saw that he knew exactly why I was saying that. I saw it in his eyes. However, I was left confused when Kratos insisted I check my mails tonight. I understood he was planning to send me something important. I told myself it would be unwise to ignore it. Before leaving the room, I threw a last glance at Kratos, praying to see him again soon, safe and sound.

In the evening, I settled before my computer and thought about checking my mails. There was effectively one from Kratos. I opened it and my eyes widened as I read it. The minister of foreign affairs, Dorr, was going to be killed. Soon. Kratos was begging me to protect him, to save his life. He had gotten no choice but to order an assassin after him, but his death could still be avoided. I rushed to the phone and dialed the number of Bryant's home. A woman's voice picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Alicia, it's Yuan. Is Regal at home? It's urgent." I asked her urgently.

"Hum, yes, I'm putting you through. Regal! Yuan wants to talk to you, he says it's urgent!" I heard her call out her husband in an agitated voice. The sound of hasty steps reached me.

"Yuan!? What's the matter?" Bryant asked worriedly.

"Kratos send me a message. He said that Yggdrasil is going to kill the minister of foreign affairs, Dorr!" I told him of Kratos' warning. It was not to be ignored.

"What!? You're sure of that!?" Bryant's voice exploded in the phone and I had to move it away from my ear to avoid becoming deaf.

"I can't be more certain. Kratos had got no choice but to send an assassin after him. He asked me to do what I could to save him."

"It goes without saying. We can't let Yggdrasil kill people under our nose if we can do something about it." Claimed my superior.

"What do you intend to do? If you suddenly have his house under surveillance, it will get Yggdrasil suspicious…" I worried. I didn't need for him to start searching for spies in his ranks.

"Hum… I will find something. Maybe an unexpected trip to Mexico or something like that. In an occasion like that, it's normal he has bodyguards. Don't worry, I'll manage something. Just concentrate on your investigation."

"Thank you. I'm really sorry to give you so much work, Bryant."

"You shouldn't be. Don't ever hesitate to warn me if you hear of other things the police can take care of. It's time we dismantle those underground networks."

"Okay. I'll do it." I assured him before hanging up. I rubbed my tired eyes. With Bryant's support, the death of the minister could surely be avoided.

That night, I had trouble going to sleep. My mind was haunted by thoughts of Rodyle and Yggdrasil. I was feeling lonely, without the reassuring presence of Kratos in the apartment. It was strange how in only several days, I had gotten used to feel him near me. I prayed again that nothing would happen to him at Kyoto.

* * *

Saturday, I returned to the brothels in Nishinari-ku, hoping Rodyle would be here, since we had promised to meet again today. I didn't particularly wanted to see him, but he was my only choice left to know more about Forcystus. I would have to play a close game. I waited for him nervously in the same private lounge as last time. It didn't take time for Rodyle to enter the room, that mocking smile on his lips and a malicious light in his eyes. I swallowed hard when he closed the door behind him, leaving us alone in the room. He came to sit next to me and I kept a mask of calm indifference.

"I'm glad to see you again, Mr. Sano. How are you?" Rodyle asked me innocently, his calculating gaze never leaving me for a second. I feigned a joy I wasn't feeling.

"I'm fine, thank you. Anji gives you his regard."

"I'm flattered. So, what did he think of the new additions to my collection? You discussed it with him, I hope?" He inquired in a relaxed manner.

He poured himself a glass of wine and proposed me one that I politely refused. He sat back close to me.

"Of course. He is ready to buy you a few of them, but at a humble price. I'm afraid his priorities are elsewhere at this time." I let escape, testing Rodyle's reaction.

If Rodyle really did more than just in prostitution, I would know soon enough.

"Oh? And where are they, if I may ask?" He asked curiously, a strange gleam in his eyes.

I had captured his attention. I played with the collar of my coat, simulating a lack of interest in the conversation.

"Unfortunately, I can't tell you. It is information that doesn't concern you or anyone else for that matter." I continued in a polite tone.

Rodyle came closer to me and I retained my desire to move away. I had to let him believe everything was allright.

"Could it be an urgent need for foreign weapons, by all means?" He whispered without ever looking elsewhere than me.

A mysterious smile dawned on my lips.

"Maybe…" I evaded, knowing I had his full attention.

"If that was the case, I could probably help him out…" Rodyle entered my game with a mocking smile.

I knew it was the time to make him talk. Hopefully Forcystus would enter the conversation at one point. If I was lucky enough.

"And how could you possibly help him out?" I asked innocently.

It was time he put all his cards on the table. Rodyle bent down towards me. I almost felt his breath on my face.

"I have contacts who deal with Korea, China, even in America… But they are rather distrustful and sell their goods for a high price. However, if you deal with me, I can obtain you these wonders at a lower price…" He whispered, like it was information highly secretive that he wasn't supposed to tell me.

My intuition told me Forcystus had something to do with that arms dealing. Maybe I was on the good track.

"The decision will be in Anji's hands, but I think he'll be interested." I said in a joyful voice, letting him believe I was interested. It looked way too easy.

"Of course, if you accept some conditions, I could… lower the price even further for one that would be acceptable." Rodyle murmured and I felt his hand reach nonchalantly my tight.

Really, it had seemed much _too _easy. I managed to keep a calm facade as his fingers slowly caressed my thight. I had to stay calm…

"What do you have in mind, exactly?" I whispered, my breathing shorter than I would have liked.

With his free hand, Rodyle stroked my cheek and my eyes widened, fear threatening to swallow my whole being.

"Must I say it out loud?" He replied and buried his face in the crook of my neck. I pushed him away violently when I felt his tongue on my skin. I looked daggers at him, forcing the anger to replace the fear I was feeling.

"Who do you think I am!? I'm not some whore you can use wherever you want!!" I seethed from anger and shame.

I stood up and walked furiously towards the door. I didn't have time to open it. Rodyle grabbed my arm and turned me around until I was facing him. He pushed me against the door and roughly lifted my chin, forcing my horrified eyes to gaze into his, gleaming with desire. He lowered his face towards mine and I tried to calm my herratic breathing.

"Listen well, Sano. I'm sure Anji is expecting of you to conclude this deal. If not, who knows what could happen to your job?" He whispered in my ear and shivers ran through me. I pushed him away again.

"It would still be better than to prostitute myself for your sick pleasure!!" I spit out and quickly opened the door. I had to get out of here! Rodyle held me back again by my wrist.

"Only one night, that's all I ask. You accept to submit yourself to me and the weapons will be yours to a price more than reasonable, as well as a little bonus. Think about it." Rodyle insisted and I violently struggled out of his grasp.

This time, he didn't hold me back. I ran out of the brothels without a glance back.

* * *

I managed to calm myself only in the security of my apartment, lying on my bed. The fear I felt in Rodyle's presence was still lurking within me. I should have seen it coming. I was an idiot. A fucking idiot who didn't think him able to ask me to sell my body. Fortunatly, he hadn't insited more than that. I could have defended myself, I knew it, but I needed Rodyle. I couldn't fail this mission, or else Yggdrasil would throw me away. I fumed when I thought that bastard surely knew the situation would come to this. And that if I wanted to get informations from him, I would have no choice but to… surrender myself to Rodyle. A violent shiver of disgust ran throught me. Only thinking about the sensation of his fingers on my thigh disgusted me. No. Surely there was another way to make him talk… I searched my brain, trying to find a mean I hadn't seen… Suddenly an idea came to me. I jumped from my bed. Yes, it would work. I would make it so it worked. I had to go to the police station.

I calmed my respiration and built a mask before entering Rodyle's lair with a determined step, only two hours after leaving it in a hurry. When I asked to see him, instead of being led to the private lounge, I was presented to his bedroom. The bastard knew I was going to come back and must have given those specific orders. It didn't bother me, though. For my plan, it would look more… normal. The man that guided me there went away only when I entered the room, closing the door behind me. My attention was immediately on Rodyle who was confortably sitting on the large bed, a victorious and predatory smile on his lips. He was waiting for me; I had no doubt about that now. I swallowed nervously and I uncounsciously moved backward until my back hit the closed door. I wasn't sure I wanted to do that anymore. My confidence was quickly vanishing. Rodyle laughed disturbingly and got up, seeing I had no intention of moving from my place soon. He closed the distance between us and firmly lifted my face to look me in the eye.

"You came back rather quickly. Have you thought about my offer?" He whispered while pushing me against the door, putting an arm securely around my waist. I kept my voice steady as I answered despite the terror running in my veins. A terror at the idea of what would await me if my plan didn't work.

"If I accept, you have to promise me you will present me with weapons of the highest quality."

Rodyle sniggered and buried his face in my neck. He nibbled the sensitive skin there and I stilled my breath. I clenched my fists at my sides until my knuckles went white, to contain my urge to push him away. Fortunatly, Rodyle soon pulled away, but his hold on my waist stayed strong. He didn't want me to run away. It wasn't my intention.

"But of course. I am a man true to his words." He assured.

He was looking at me with a sensual smile. I tried to hide the fear swirling in my eyes. I didn't want him to think he had the advantage.

"Do you accept?" He insisted, pressing me further against the door.

I dropped my head, ashamed of what I was going to say.

"…Yeah. I'm yours for this night." I whispered in a voice almost inaudible, but high enough for Rodyle to hear it.

His smile grew even more and he released his hold on me. Instead, he took my hand firmly and guided me to the bed. I followed him obediently, my heart pounding loudly in my chest. I prayed for him to act like I anticipated. I sat nervously on the bed. Rodyle brought a long bang of my hair to his lips before moving away to an elegant drawer. I saw him take a bottle of champagne and pouring a glass. Great. I suppressed a nervous smile. He turned to face me.

"I'm glad you gave up, Sano. Champagne?" He proposed me and I declined.

Rodyle rejoined me on the bed, his glass in one hand. He put it down on the bedside table besides me under my inquisitive eye. Without a warning, he brusquely pushed me and my back hit the mattress. I let out a cry of surprise as Rodyle pressed me against the bed with all his weight. I forced myself to stay calm as all my senses screamed at me to push him away. I grimaced when I felt the extent of his desire against my tight. Suddenly, Rodyle kissed me ferociously. I felt nauseous as his tongue forced his way in my mouth, but I ignored it. Instead, I responded to the kiss with the same fervor, my tongue playing with his. I had to keep him occupied somehow. During that time, my hand discreetly sought in my pocket and I took out what I was searching. Locating his glass with one side glance, I quickly put in the pill that melted at the alcohol's contact. Several seconds later, Rodyle broke the kiss and he took a long gulp of his drink. Perfect. I only had to hold on for a little while now, the time it would take for the drug to act. Rodyle's attention came back on me. I felt one of his hands make his way under my shirt and caress my skin. A violent shiver ran through me. Rodyle bit down brutally at the hollow of my neck before sucking on the battered skin, leaving a mark. I chewed on my lip until it bled to stop a painful moan to pass my lips. Rodyle smiled against my neck, feeling the tension in my body.

"Surely you're not aware of how desirable you are, Sano. You could make anyone lust after you…" He whispered, kissing down the skin of my neck to the collar of my shirt. My breathing quickened and I had to repeat to myself I had to stay calm. I had to keep the panic at bay. Just a little longer…

"Stop it with the compliments. I'm not here to listen to you praising me." I spit out with all the hatred I could muster.

Rodyle laughed before pinching hard on one of my nipples. I grimaced and threw my head backwards, my breathing short.

"You are somewhat hard in business, but it's a quality I appreciate." Rodyle whispered, continuing his torture.

I managed to contain every sound that threatened to pass my lips. I knew he would get too much pleasure to hear me respond. Suddenly, Rodyle ceased his gestures and I looked at him. I saw him falter lightly, his gaze becoming distant. He tried to focus it on my face.

"What did you…" He began in a hesitant voice.

I smiled in relief. The drug I had put in his glass was finally doing its effect. My hands gripped his shoulders and I pushed forcefully on them, flipping our positions. I sat on his lap, my legs on each side of his hips. With my hands, I caught his arms and secured them on his sides. The drug was draning any strength he could have had to resist. I approached my face from his, my long hair falling down onto his shoulders and around his face. I wanted to make sure he would see me clearly.

"Now, you will listen to me carefully and answer all of my questions. Understand?" I expressed myself clearly and slowly and I saw his eyes rolling upwards. Despite the effects, he would stay lucid long enough for me to ask him all the questions I wanted and he would remember nothing of this interrogation tomorrow morning. This drug was acting like a real elixir of truth. After pleading my cause at the police station, they had agreed to give me some.

"…Yes." He answered with difficulty.

"Who is Forcystus?" I asked immediately for what interested me.

Rodyle stayed silent and his eyes became clouded. I wasn't going to let him go like that. I gripped his chin roughly and forced him to look at me.

"A… arms dealer… from Korea." He finally answered, his breath irregular.

"Why are you buyinh his weapons?" I continued, ruthless.

"I want… to storm Yggdrasil's facilities… to weaken his forces."

"You want to take his place as the stronger yakuza in Japan? Is that it?" I pushed him to clarify, wanting to make sure I was bringing back good information to Yggdrasil.

"He has spread out… his monarchy enough. It's time someone else takes the reins."

"And what does Forcystus has that Yggdrasil doesn't?" I asked, curious of knowing the reason.

"Revolutionnary… weapons that are not in sell in Japan… more powerful, more efficient…"

"I see… And where can I find this Forcystus?" I asked, satisfied with the turn of events.

"He's… generally at the club Saza-E… on Chamayachi street… in the Kita-ku district…" Rodyle breathed out, his voice jerky.

"That network must be his, I suppose?"

"I… don't know…"

I realized I was about to lose him, so I speeded up.

"It surely isn't your only strategy to take out Yggdrasil. What else did you do?" I demanded, shaking his chin roughly to gain his attention.

"I… spread insecurity and revolt in his clients, by killing… their wives… daughters…"

At his words, something in me snapped. No… It wasn't possible!! I had to make sure before losing Rodyle entirely.

"These women… how much did you kill?!" I shook him by his shoulders.

"I don't remember… about ten…"

"How… How did you kill them?! Answer me!!"

"Strangled… and…"

Rodyle stopped talking and his head dropped to the side, diving in a comatose sleep. I stayed stunned, my hands still on his shoulders, unable to move. I had learned far more than I had hoped for. These two months, spent at pursuing that psychopath weren't wasted in vain. It had been Rodyle all along. It was him who had killed and raped those poor women. He had murdered these specific targets to sow confusion and fear in Yggdrasil's clients, for them to stop granting him their trust. These victims had died for a stupid ideal such as this. The irresistible urge to make this vile being lying beneath me pay swallowed me, to show him all the pain they had endured. But it wasn't my place to do so. I had to get out of here and write my report to Yggdrasil, as well to Bryant. I stood up rapidly and moved away from the bed like it was a foul poison, not wanting any more contact with Rodyle. My hand unconsciously clenched around my abused neck, where a mark would certainly appear tomorrow. I felt ashamed of myself, ashamed of letting that man touch me like that, even if it had been for a very precise goal. I pushed that unpleasant thought deep inside of me. I walked to the door, throwing a last glance to Rodyle. He was probably going to sleep until morning, with no memory wathsoever of what happened. It was perfect that way.

As soon as I was back at my apartment, I began to type my report to Yggdrasil concerning all Rodyle had confessed. By doing this, he could not accuse me of not having completed my mission. But I was feeling bad for Rodyle, despite his bad nature and all the actions he commited. I knew I would be the cause of his death and that didn't serve to alleviate my conscience. Except if, by any chance, Bryant was able to arrest him before that, inculping him of the murder of all these women. That way, he would serve his crimes in prison, instead of dying. So, before going to sleep, I also wrote a report to Bryant, knowing he would probably not see it before Monday morning. The rest would be in his hands. The day had been strong on emotions. I fell in the throes of sleep as soon as I hit my bed that was now carrying Kratos' distinctive fragrance.

* * *

This Sunday, I had the entire day off to take some rest. Bryant didn't need me and Yggdrasil wouldn't return before this afternoon. So I had no obligations. I had in any case a few errands to run and I wanted to take some fresh air to clear my head. The times I had passed in Rodyle's company were still too fresh to my mind and I would have preferred forgetting them. I consoled myself by thinking he wouldn't do harm to anyone anymore. I would try to get him arrested before Yggdrasil ordered his death.

My steps had taken me to the Utsubo Park. It was the time of the year where an exposition of sculptures was taking place. I took my time to admire the works of art and the rose garden. This park was one of my favorites in all Osaka. He was of a rare beauty in a big city like this one and he wasn't too packed, giving me the occasion of wandering around without being bothered, taking advantage of the nature's calm.

I didn't see time pass, too absorbed by the landscape. I thought it would be a good time to go back to my apartment when the sky began to cover and darken. I walked away without hurrying up. I had come by walking, since this park wasn't too far from where I lived. I thought about the fact Kratos was coming back to Osaka this afternoon. He would surely pass a good amount of time to the headquarters. I hoped he would come back to the apartment tonight. I missed his presence.

I reached streets less busy and soon the unpleasant impression of being followed got to me. I continued to walk like I hadn't noticed, even though all my senses were on high alert. I took a turn in a deserted alley, moving away from my apartment. There was no way I was going to lead whoever was following me straight to where I was living. I heard furtive steps behind me. Instinctively, I moved rapidly to the side at the exact time a bullet was flying in my direction. I wasn't lucky enough though. The bullet scratched my arm and I clenched my teeth under the sudden pain. I ran out of the alley, clenching hard my injured arm, trying to stop the blood rolling down between my fingers. I hid in a dark corner, throwing furtive glances behind me, trying to locate the sniper. My heart was pounding in my chest. I wasn't expecting to become a target so soon… My instinct was telling me Rodyle was behind this, that treacherous man. An unpleasant thought crossed my mind. Maybe… he remembered what had happened yesterday… No. It was impossible. The most likely reason was that I had wrecked the negociations and that he intended to reduce me to silence. But I wouldn't go down that easily…

I walked rapidly in the alley to lose the gunman. I stopped in my tracks when two men emerged from the shadows and blocked my way, pointing long knifes in my direction. I also felt the presence of others behind me. I was trapped. Without losing a second, they charged at me. I saw the blade of one knife going for my shoulder. I sidestepped quickly to avoid the dangerous weapon. I grabbed the wrist of my adversary and rapidly twisted his arm behind his back in a painful angle. The man yelled in pain and let go of his weapon that fell to the ground. I kicked the knife away and hit the nape of his neck with the flat of my hand. The man fell like a dead weigth. I only got the time to turn around to face my second enemy who was aiming for my leg this time. It didn't take me more time to realize they had received the order to bring me back alive. Since the beginning, they weren't aiming at my vital points. With a well placed kick, I disarmed my second adversary. My knee hit him hard in the belly and he collapsed on the ground, trying to take back his breathing. Now I had enough. I rapidly drew my guns and pointed them at my two last enemies with a deadly accuracy. They stopped immediately, their gaze hesitant and afraid. I walked calmly towards them, keeping them all the while in aim.

"The game has ended, my friends. Now, you're going to tell me who send you and why." I ordered in an icy voice that showed them I wouldn't hesitate to shoot.

They didn't answer me. Instead, mocking smiles made their way on their mouths. I suddenly felt a presence behind me, but I didn't have time to turn around. A loud crack was heard and a sharp pain exploded in my head. Then, my vison turned black.

The first sensation that awoke me after the numbness was a burning pain at the back of my head like someone was burning me with a red-hot iron. A nauseous wave hit me dead on. I moaned in pain and forced my eyelids to open. I regretted it straight away. I saw Rodyle's face leaning over me through the fog invading my mind. I then remembered what had happened before I had lost consciousness. I had been attacked in an alley by an unknown group. I threw a panicked look around me. I managed to recognize the room I was in. Rodyle's bedroom…

"You're finally awake, my little rare bird…" He whispered in a voice tinged with desire.

I moved back quickly on the bed, but I grimaced when a new wave of pain ran through my head. I could feel dampness in my hair that I guessed was blood. My head was spinning and I had difficulty to assemble clear ideas. That strike on my head must have cracked open my skull.

"Ro…Rodyle?! But what…" I stammered, trying to focus my gaze on my surroundings, seeking an exit. Rodyle noticed my gaze and sniggered. Without giving me time to react, he pinned me brutally to the bed, holding my wrists securely in one hand.

"You know, it wasn't really nice of you trying to drug me yesterday. Fortunately, I had expected such a trick. I knew you weren't the type of man to give up easily…"

I looked at him, confused and horrified. He laughed in front of my reaction and showed me a pill of the exact same form of the one I had dropped in his glass yesterday. I fact, it was _exactly_ the same pill I had wanted to administer to him. My face turned pale as realization hit me.

"When you entered my room, I discreetly searched your pockets. I found this in one of them. It was an easy feat to replace it with something totally harmless, like flour. You know, you really are too easy to foresee." He explained in an amused voice and threw the pill in a corner of the room.

Without leaving me time to retaliate, he grabbed a syringe lying on the bedtable and drived it in my injured arm. I managed to contain a painful exclamation as the unknown liquid was evacuating in my veins. I gave in to panic. Rodyle leaned in close until I could feel his repulsive breathing on my neck.

"The game can now begin." He whispered in my ear before brutally biting on the lobe, drawing blood.

I reacted swiftly. I began to struggle against him, trying to deal him a blow with my feet to get him off me.

"What did you just do, you bastard?!" I fulminated against him and my knee reached his ribs.

His hold on my wrists loosened up a bit. I saw my chance. I managed to get out of his grasp and I pushed him out of my way. Ignoring the trobbing pain in my head, I got up from the bed and moved away from Rodyle. I drew one of my guns and aimed at this perfidious being, challenging him to make even one step if he wanted to keep his head.

Suddenly, my sight got clouded and my muscles gave up brusquely. My shaking hands dropped the gun that hit the ground with a loud sound. I lost my balance and fell to the ground. I tried to stand up, but in vain. I felt more than I saw my ennemy's presence in front of me. He grabbed my hair and stood me up brutally. I groaned in pain as he dragged me to the bed. I panicked when I realized my muscles weren't responding like I wanted them to. Was it because of the drug he had injected me?! It could only be that. His face got close to mine and he lifted my chin to lock his gaze into mine. His hot and quick breath brushed against my lips. I'm sure he was able to read the terror gleaming in my eyes.

"You want to know what I did? I simply injected a nearly harmless drug in your body… You see, in a high quantity, it stops the functioning of your muscles for a few hours. On the other hand, all of your senses are overloaded, wich means you will feel ten times more pain… or pleasure…"

Like to support his words, Rodyle threw me on the bed and my head collided strongly with the headboard. My sight exploded in millions of stars and I cried out in pain. The wound on my head started to bleed again. I clutched the bed sheets convulsively, trying to find something to hold onto. I was nearly not aware that Rodyle had climbed back on the bed. He turned me around on my back in a brusque gesture.

"I don't know for who you are really working with and I don't care. But now that I revealed my plan to you, I can't let you roam freely. You didn't seriously think I would kill a magnificent specimen like you? You will become a perfect addition to my collection. Or perhaps I should keep you only to myself. My own beautiful slave that will satisfy my every desire… Oh that sounds even better…" He whispered his perverted fantasies, his breath irregular.

The weight of his body crushed me and he roughtly lifted my face, exposing my vulnerable neck. Without warning, he brutally bit my jugular to draw blood. An exclamation of pain passed my lips. Rodyle smiled sarcastically at me. I had the sudden urge to rip that smile off his foul face. So with all the strength I had left, I spat on his face. He froze.

"Don't touch me, you fucking pervert!!" I said with all the hatred I was feeling, glaring darkly at him.

He slapped me violently in the face in return. The taste of blood invaded my mouth as sensation left my swollen cheek. Rodyle caressed my hair softly, a surprising contrast with the brutality he had treated me until now. I let him do as he pleased. I didn't have the strength to stop him anymore…

"Now now, what language is that? I will have to correct that dirty mouth later. But for now, let's have some fun, shall we? I want to hear you scream in pain and pleasure… I want to see your expression as I fuck you senseless… I want you to beg me for more…" He whispered lustfully while casting me a bestial look.

I felt his lips covering my own in a violent and dominant kiss. I wanted to push him away, wanted it so much, but my body was nothing more than a dead weight now. It wasn't responding anymore. The panic grew and grew until it was devouring me from the inside. His tongue forced his way between my unwillingly parted lips and he bit down on my lower lip. I felt it break and Rodyle licked the trickle of blood before releasing my abused lips.

"You're crazy…" I whispered in a broken and frightened voice.

He didn't respond, but his smile widened even more. In an abrupt gesture, he ripped off my shirt and ferociously attacked every patch of skin on my chest and abdomen, leaving behind a trail of saliva and blood. Shame, fear and panic were soon so overwhelming that I couldn't keep them inside anymore. I knew too well what was awaiting me and there was no escaping it. Unless, if by some chance, someone would hear me. Clinging on this stupid hope, I began yelling for help. This earned me a second slap, more violent than the last and left my sight in a blur.

"You better stop your useless efforts. The more you will struggle against me, the more violent I will get." He threatened me.

He brusquely spread my legs apart, rapidly settling between them. His fingers sank painfully in my hips and he forcefully ground his hips into mine.

I released a sob of terror and disgust while hearing Rodyle's groan of pleasure. His hands found the buckle of my belt and undertook the task of opening it savagely. Tears of shame rolled freely on my cheeks. He was going to rape me and nobody would save me from it. I didn't want to feel what he was going to do, I didn't want to see it!! I tried to force my mind to shut down to all sensations. Fortunately, I had lost a lot of blood and I felt myself slipping slowly towards unconsciousness. I was relieved at the thought that I could avoid feeling what was about to happen, that I could avoid feeling dirty and broken beyond repair. I almost allowed myself to smile weakly through my bitter tears.

But I was brutally pulled back to reality at the sound of a door opening violently and of a familiar voice exploding in the room.

Kratos.

* * *

**A/N : **

**Littlerosebud: **Please don't kill us, please… I know it ends brusquely, but we kind of got no choice but to do it like that. I hope you don't hate us for that, and also for making Yuan suffer like that. At least he wasn't raped… yet. XD

Well, next time is Saenda's chapter, you will see what happens to our Kratos on his weekend alone with Yggdrasil…

Comments are welcomed!!! Tell us what you think, we would really appreciate it!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N : **We still own nothing, just as always. Everything belongs to Namco, except the story. As for the translation, thank you so much my dear Little Rosebud! (I really need to get on hers now xD)

* * *

**Chapiter**** 9**

Twenty four hours had passed since Yggdrasil and I arrived at Kyoto and I was able to avoid any contacts too "intimate" until now, if I could express myself like this. I had explained to him that despite our trip to Kyoto, I had work to do with all the latest orders and Dorr's assassination to organize. He had, of course, looked at me with a hard gaze; he didn't want me to leave him for even one second. He had then tried to reason me, but fortunately, the ministers with whom he had to meet last night and in the day had prevented him to do so, each of them insisting that Yggdrasil talk to them alone.

However, he had forced me to come to the dinner that was taking place that night and I was now sitting beside my superior at the Misogi-gawa, a French high-class restaurant, situated in the Pontocho distric, near the Kamo River. We were now in a private tatami room with several important personalities of whom some ministers and head of important companies in Japan famous all around the country and sometimes the world.

The latter was wearing his infamous white clothes ever so proudly. He had immediately noticed the fervent looks thrown in his direction when he had made his appearance and he almost pranced before them with his air of superiority. I had however not noticed the looks that had turned towards me, although they were way more discreet. They had all learned a long time ago that looking at me, especially in Yggdrasil's presence, wasn't necessarily the better thing to do…

When we had taken a seat around the table, it was now my turn to subtly detail the people around us. And each time I did, I couldn't stop myself to think we had a government highly corrupted. After all, seated with us right now were five ministers: the minister of security, economy, budget, discipline and the last of all, of health. And yet, it was only the ministers that were entirely loyal to Yggdrasil. There were even more that were under his control because of fear and threats.

In the room, there was also the actual president of Mitsui, the most influential bank in Japan, the president of the FANUC Company, a robotic manufacture, and the president of the most influential television channel in Japan, Aichi's channel. It was thanks to the latter that our "family" was never mentioned on television, that none of our mistakes were broadcasted. Yggdrasil didn't want some scandal to ruin his business. All of these men were accompanied by beautiful young women elegantly dressed in western style. It wasn't hard to know where they had come from; after all, Yggdrasil had control over all sorts of yakuza markets and the men before us weren't really young. Only prostitutes bought as mistresses could follow men like them without grimacing. Some of them however were probably not prostitutes, but only women greedy of power and wealth. It wouldn't be surprising either.

"So, Ibuki, are the police forces functioning like I want them since last time?" Yggdrasil suddenly asked before taking a sip of red wine. His eyes were gleaming with a nasty light, a sign that his question wasn't for nothing. Something was displeasing him right now concerning the police forces.

Honda Ibuki, a man of tense nature, swallowed slowly when he sensed the animosity emanating from the yakuza. He was faithful to Yggdrasil and wasn't following him only because he was threatened, but he wasn't a man of the brightest kind either. Unfortunately, that minister was essential to my superior and he couldn't carelessly get rid of him without finding him a substitute. Because the time it would take to find a new minister, chaos would spread amongst the police forces and each department of each prefecture would do as they like, which would greatly be harmful to our "family". Even more, nothing was certifying that the new minister would accept to be loyal to Yggdrasil. "I-I'm doing my best, Lord Yggdrasil. I succeeded in rallying several departments, but there are still more that go their own way."

The minister of Budget, a man of a sly appearance, sniggered maliciously. "It's simple, though. You only need to offer them a better salary in exchange for their silence! Money should suffice them." Ibuki threw him a dark glance. "Unfortunately, there exist men whose money is not enough. They prefer justice. Stupidity, moreover…" He muttered the last phrase while reporting his attention on his plate.

Yggdrasil observed him with an annoyed and bored look, his cheek resting in his hand. "And if I understand clearly, Okinawa's department is still not under your control." He whispered gently. However, anybody who knew him well knew that this sugary tone was hiding a violent wrath. Ibuki froze before bowing down very low. "I'm very sorry, Lord Yggdrasil! But I really can't seem to get them to see reason!" My superior's eyes creased, a very dangerous sign. "And yet you perfectly know that it's the department that must be immobilized in first priority!" He hissed hatefully. "It's the one that is the closest to my headquarters and to add even more, they spoiled my plans once more! Because of you, my plans to assassinate Dorr have failed miserably!"

Yggdrasil had learned in the afternoon that Dorr was leaving for a work trip at Mexico, a trip that hadn't been scheduled before today. The assassin I had sent after him had given me a report to inform me he had effectively tried to kill the minister of Foreign affairs, but because he was going to Mexico, police officers had escorted him and prevented any assassination attempts from him. I had immediately understood with relief that Yuan had received my mail and had acted rapidly. "If you had had those policemen under your control like I had expressly demanded from you, Dorr would be dead by now, having had nobody to protect him for his trip!" It was now complete silence in the room. Everyone had their eyes riveted on Ibuki who was still bent, not daring to move. "You're lucky that I need you, poor imbecile!" And with that, he began ignoring the minister of Security to bring his attention on the others. "Other than that, I presume business in Mitsui is going smoothly?" He asked with his carnivorous smile. After all, Yggdrasil was the one that was financing this bank, even though it was the most powerful in Japan. Maybe it didn't seem like it got a need to get financial aid, but several years ago it had almost gone into bankruptcy. It was Yggdrasil that had got it out of this problem by giving them the money necessary and by blocking all the rumors there could have been about this scandal. Now the bank had a debt towards my superior. The president answered him quickly, but I was not listening anymore, not interested in the conversation.

The evening passed in the same manner, but the atmosphere lightened up a little as time passed. The alcohol must have been the cause of this softening, as well as the women that were pressing closer to the men.

I decided I had enough and that I needed to get some fresh air. Fortunatly, our room was adjacent to a private veranda and standing up slowly, I walked to the veranda under Yggdrasi's inquisitive look. I decided to ignore it and got outside to breathe the fresh air.

I leaned on the railing of the little terrace, observing the river that was flowing nonchalantly, lightened up by the multiple lights of the district. Pontocho was a district famous for his geishas. Some of them were walking down the streets right about now, getting photographed with their colorful sunshades by tourists or walking with men that had buy some of their time. Even though geishas were rare these days, Pontocho was one of the districts that contained the most, with Gion.

"This district pleases you?" A feminine voice resounded behind me and I almost jumped. A woman with long blonde hair tied in a tight braid approached me. Her pale skin and blue eyes clearly proved she was a foreigner, surely from France by taking notice of her haughty accent. Throwing her a quick glance, I remembered seeing her at the sides of the minister of Economy. I didn't remember however having seen her at a previous reunion with these men so I guessed she was new. Especially since she came to talk to me as everyone knew how Yggdrasil acted usually…

"Yeah, it's not so bad." I answered politely without looking at her. If I ignored her, maybe she would go away and I wouldn't suffer the wrath of my superior.

But she was persistent and that didn't get her to leave. "What pleases you so? Being a foreigner, I must admit that the geishas fascinate me! I simply adore their colored kimonos and their make-up. But since you are surely used to these women, I thought maybe there's something else that is fascinating you." Too bad. Since ignoring her wasn't getting her to leave, I might as well answer her questions. She would learn at her own expense that she should not talk to me. Besides, this was really saddening me. I was always alone and silent for a whole evening because of the childishness of my superior and I couldn't do a thing about it. "I should say the river. I love how the city's lights reflect on the water. It resembles millions of luminous spheres floating on the water, as if little spirits are walking on it." I admitted nonchalantly. However, I still wasn't looking at her and no expression made its way on my face. I felt like I couldn't do it.

The young woman laughed softly. "It's true, you are right!" She exclaimed while looking at the river. "But I'm surprised. Usually, when I ask this kind of question to a man, they all tell me that they still prefer the geishas, may them be used to these women or not. You are different." Another soft giggle escaped her lips and a small smile made its way on my face. On second thought, I was happy she had come to talk to me. It was giving me something else to do than stay at Yggdrasil's sides. "My name is Sophie Langevin. And you are?" She asked me, reaching out a delicate hand covered by a white glove.

However, I didn't have time to answer that someone entered our conversation. "I see you just met my dear Kratos." A honeyed voice rang out behind Sophie, making her jump. She turned around and found herself face to face with Yggdrasil, who was addressing her with a huge and frightening smile. She immediately laughed nervously before bowing before him. "Oh, Lord Yggdrasil. I didn't hear you coming." She swallowed before taking a step back. "I effectively met Kratos. He's a charming man."

Those weren't the good words to use. Yggdrasil's smile vanished only to be replaced by an annoyed and angered face. "Yes, a charming man indeed… But, my dear lady, I think there is something you haven't grasped." He closed the distance that was separating them and roughly gripped her chin before clenching it, pulling a grimace of pain out of her. "Kratos is my henchman. He belongs to me. And I must admit to you my dear, I really don't like to share what is mine." I grimaced subtly, not liking being treated like an object. However, that's what I was, a simple object that was useful to him.

Sophie looked at him with fright, not expecting an outburst like that. "I-I was only talking to him…" She tried in a low tone. She was such an idiot. Everyone that knew Yggdrasil knew that it wasn't a good thing to reply.

The yakuza pulled her towards him before throwing her roughly to the floor, near the door of the veranda. "You _dare_ answer back? Haven't you learned your place, you idiot?" Straight away, the minister of Economy got outside and bent over the foreigner to stand her up. He bowed very low before Yggdrasil. "I'm really sorry, my Lord, it won't happen again, I promise." He apologized before turning towards Sophie and slapping her violently. She hiccuped in pain and looked at him with stupefaction, tears in the corner of her eyes. "We are leaving. I don't want you to humiliate me anymore in front of our Lord." He groaned before bowing again in front of Yggdrasil. "I'm deeply sorry. We won't bother you anymore tonight." The yakuza looked at him with a haughty look, only letting an "Hmph!" pass his lips before turning towards me, ignoring the others completely.

Great, I could officially say goodbye to any kind of conversation for the next times. Yggdrasil had once more ruined it all.

The latter walked towards me and gripped my hair roughly, not giving a damn that people behind us were staring. I winced slightly, but kept an impassible face as much as I could. I couldn't show pain in front of him, never. "How many times must I tell you that you must stay close to me!? You want to betray me again?!" He hissed hatefully, furiously. "I won't betray you, Mithos." I answered calmly, surprised that he finally mentioned my family, even if it was only insinuated. "I was only talking, is that so bad?" A spike of exasperation was now perceptible in my voice. That angered my superior and he pulled on my hair with more force, his face coming close to mine. I could now feel the heat of his breath stinking of alcohol on my skin. "How dare you talk to me with that tone! You belong to me, you hear me?! I don't want such a _thing_ to touch you, to even talk to you! Who knows what she could make you do against me, like this other monstrosity that surely put stupid ideas in your head, ideas like leaving my organization, like abandoning me! But that won't do! You're _nothing_ without me and I forbid you even one contact with someone else!" He finally released my hair and I rubbed my head to send the pain away. Even though it didn't show, I was certain Yggdrasil was drunk. His own facade was intact, but he had never stood alcohol very well. It was the only reason I saw for him to talk to me in this way with this much people behind him.

He turned around brusquely, his malicious glance looking over the men and women that were looking at us in silence. "I had enough for today, we're leaving, Kratos." And without another word, he left the private room and walked to the bar, payed rapidly for the both of us and finally walked outside where his limousine was already waiting for us. I followed him in silence, embarrassed by this situation.

The ride back to the hotel was in complete silence. We were both plunged in our own thoughts. When we finally arrived, I headed directly to my computer in our shared room, hoping to flee from the reprisals that were surely going to come out of my superior's mouth. When I opened it, I was about to go back to work, but my screen got pulled down in front of me and my eyes stared at Yggdrasil's hand on top of my laptop. I lifted my gaze in surprise, not expecting such an action on his part.

"Not tonight." He growled softly with an annoyed expression, but also tired. He took my working tool from my hands and placed it on the bed table before bending towards me and sitting on my lap, his hands on my shoulders. My eyes widened and nervousness made its way in me at a fast rate.

"Mithos?"

"I don't want you to abandon me." Yggdrasil made a saddened pout, a pained expression. In a short instant, I sincerely thought I recognized the child he was long ago, the little Mithos so soft and gentle. He softly caressed my cheek, mechanically, as if he was in a trance. "Don't ever abandon me, Kratos." He whispered before cuddling close to me. I froze, my arms on each side of my body, not knowing what to do. Even though right now he looked exactly like before, I know it was only an effect of the alcohol and that he was now nothing more than a cruel and merciless man.

And before I even had the time to do anything, I noticed he had fallen asleep. I sighed in relief. At least, I wouldn't have to worry about him trying something on me tonight. So carefully, I moved him to his bed, sliding him under his sheets before moving away with a sigh. I couldn't wait for this long weekend to end.

* * *

We were finally back to the headquarters and were now in Yggdrasil's office, bent over his computer. This morning had passed without inconveniences as the ride back home had mainly unfolded in silence. I think Yggdrasil had too much of a headache to bother with me.

"Well well! Who would have known that this little dog would have discovered everything so fast!" We had just finished reading the report sent by 'Sano', only to learn that Rodyle was actually a traitor, exactly as Yggdrasil had predicted. I wasn't really surprised; this treacherous man was as greedy of power as my superior and would do anything to obtain it. "He worked well, it seems." I simply said in a monotonous tone, straightening up. He nodded, stroking his chin. "Indeed…" He answered distractedly. A satisfied smile was decorating his lips and I immediately knew that Yuan had obtained Yggdrasil's favors, that he was officially accepted as his spy. After all, not even Kvar or Pronyma would have been this fast in succeeding. I was eager to tell him of that, because that would help us greatly in the investigation.

"Now, all we need to do is get rid of Rodyle." He lifted his eyes towards me and I nodded. "I will take care of it personally." His smile widened while seeing my impassible mask and he burst out laughing. "Yes, of course!" He looked again at the screen where 'Sano's' report was still opened and laughed again. "Ah, Rodyle… You will know soon enough that _nobody_ can surpass me and that it costs much to even try it." He closed the report and stood up, throwing a glance at the clock. "Ok, it's enough for today. Come back only when Rodyle is out of the way. And I would really like that it be done as fast as possible, is that clear?" He looked at me with a nonchalant and sugary smile before I agreed and bowed down, then he left the room. I observed the computer screen for a short moment, lost in my thoughts, than I too left the room. I would go get Pronyma's reports before going back at the apartment. I was eager to see Yuan, I had missed his presence greatly.

I arrived before the front door of Yuan's apartment and was surprised to see it locked. However, it was already evening, he should have been back. Further more, I thought I could affirm he didn't really have any obligations if he already sent a report to Yggdrasil.

I unlocked the door with the key he had given me and called him softly to ascertain he wasn't there. Maybe he had locked it because he was absent-minded. When he didn't answer me, I decided to go look in his room. Maybe he had gone to sleep early. We both knew he needed it badly.

But after looking everywhere in the apartment, he was nowhere to be found. I thought maybe he was eating outside with a friend. And yet… I couldn't prevent that feeling of worry inside of me, like something had happened to him. I shook my head. It was simply ridiculous! Yuan had finished with Rodyle and he could defend himself without any problem. I shouldn't worry as much! He would come back safe and sound and I knew that if he saw me in this state, he would laugh at me.

I was startled when a ring tone resounded in my pocket. A hand on my heart, I took my cellphone. I was really nervous if I was acting this way… My heart stopped again, however, when I recognized the name on the call. No… if she was calling, it meant that something had happened to Yuan, right? No! Maybe nothing had happened! She was surely calling to tell me her mission of watching over Yuan was finished and that she was returning to her usual work. Yes, it was surely the reason…

So why did I have to contain the trembling in my voice when I answered?

"Hello, Presea."

Despite my worry, my voice was stable and calm. I sincerely didn't know how I always managed to stay impassible. And I was unaware even more if it was a good or bad thing. "Mr. Aurion! I bring about bad news!" My interlocutor spoke with a hasty voice, going straight to the point.

All my hopes had been in vain. Yuan really was in danger… "Mr. Nagano has been attacked and kidnapped! He has been brought to Rodyle's lair!"

" _**What**_?!" That bastard had _**dared**_ touch him?!

"Mr. Nagano thought he had drugged him yesterday to make him talk and Rodyle was supposed to not remember a thing about it. But it didn't go like he wanted. Rodyle remembers everything and he absolutely wants to make Mr. Nagano pay. Fortunately, he didn't kill him, but I think you know what he really wants to do with him…"

Yeah, I knew it too well. Even though Rodyle wanted to keep him alive, he wanted to use him and humiliate him. My hand clenched around my cellphone and I had to control myself to avoid breaking it. "Very well, I'm coming right away."

And without another word, I closed my phone harshly before hurrying out of the apartment. I got in my vehicule in catastrophe before starting the engine and driving to the highway at full speed. I was surprised to notice there was no policeman in my way to stop me for speeding. My brain suddenly remembered a similar incident but I decided to ignore it. Now was not the time to think about it. I absolutely had to save Yuan as soon as possible!

I ended up in Nishinari-Ku's district and parked my car in the parking of the main house of Rodyle's brothels. Slamming my car's door behind me, I saw Presea awaiting for me in front of the main door, wearing a short black dress in leather, surely her disguise to infiltrate. I noticed vaguely she had her hair down for the first time, but my attention was soon fully averted.

"Thank you very much for having taken care of him." I said softly and she nodded with seriousness.

And without another word, I got inside the brothel. Immediately, a man came to greet me and bowed very low. "Mr. Aurion! It's such a pleasure to see you tonight! I must admit I don't know the purpose of your visit, but if it was to see master Rodyle, unfortunately it will not be possible tonight. He's rather busy right now. However, I certainly could hel –" His speech was cut short when my fist collided hard with his nose. A creaking sound resounded as he collapsed on the floor with a pained expression, his hands hiding his face. "And I'm sorry to tell you that I have to see him tonight. _Absolutely_." I declared in a cold and murderous voice. And without waiting for an answer, I went forward towards the hallway in front of me. Immediately, a horde of bodyguards appeared before me to block my way. I didn't know Rodyle was expecting to be bothered this much. But was he really expecting the man that was now in his lair?

A carnivorous smile soon appeared on my face. However, it was only to scare them, because I didn't have the intention of killing them. They were only doing their work to protect their superior, nothing more. They weren't in fault. "Let me pass gently and I promise you that you will all get out unharmed." My tone was cold, scary. I had done this kind of work too often; I knew what to do to scare people. And I hoped it would be sufficient for them to give up.

I saw them hesitate. They knew my reputation, what I was capable of. I was however disappointed to ascertain that they were really faithful to their master when a determined look took hold of their eyes and they threw themselves at me. It seemed like I would have to take care of them first.

I side stepped when a fist flew in my direction and the man that attacked me stumbled. I helped him go down with a kick at his back before bending down to avoid another fist. Taking hold of the arm over me, I threw the man over my back and he collided with the first one that was trying to stand up. The third one received a right hook of my fist on his temple at the same time he was taking out a revolver and he fell down near his companions, dazed.

I noticed just in time that another bodyguard had just taken out a gun and I pressed closer to the wall as a bullet was fired in my direction. Not really wanting to receive more bullets, I was at his side in a few seconds before twisting the arm that was holding the weapon behind his back. I forced it in the way contrary of the articulation and he screamed his pain before collapsing on the ground, whining. I then took out my own gun and not even taking time to aim, I shot at non vital points of the last men standing. I didn't have the time to take care of them, Yuan was in trouble. Who knows what Rodyle had done to him already while I was taking care of his men?

I began running in the hallway, taking a turn at random. All the times I had come here, I was always shown to the private lounge of that bastard. Because of that, I didn't know where his room was… But I had to find out where, and soon!

I took the stairs that appeared in front of me and soon heard hurried footsteps coming towards me. I prepared my revolver. When they appeared, I fired at their legs and they fell to the ground like puppets without threads. I ignored them and continued on my way. Where were Rodyle and Yuan?!

"HELP!!! SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP ME!!!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. It was… Yuan's voice! And if I relied on the direction where it had come from, it was directly above me. I began running again, searching the stairs, firing on any men trying to block me. Finally, I arrived in front of what I thought to be Rodyle's bedroom. Anyway, the two bodyguards guarding the door were enough to tell me it was the room I was searching for. So before they even had time to turn towards me, I hit them both without restraint in the face and they fell unconscious. Then, turning towards the door, my foot collided with it and it shattered violently.

"_**Rodyle!!!**_" I screamed before freezing in my tracks.

There, before my eyes, I saw Rodyle bending over Yuan, who was in a poor state. His head was cracked open and blood was still flowing from the wound, his arm was also badly wounded and his chest was covered by bloody marks, surely provoked by Rodyle himself. As for the master of the place, if it wasn't for the fact he was staring at me in shock, I could swear his face would wear an expression of pleasure.

That scene was more than enough. My pupils creased dangerously and any traces of impassibility I could have had left disappeared. I snapped for good. With one hand, I grabbed Rodyle hard by his collar before throwing him on the wall behind me, pinning him against it. My face was now bearing an expression comparable to madness, an insane smile on my lips as I was staring at his terrified gaze. "You didn't change, did you, Rodyle? A real pervert!" I said with onctuous calm, my face coming closer to his. "Did I ever tell you it was what I hated the most in you?" When he realized in what state he had gotten me, he began struggling against me. "L-Let me go! I will tell Yggdrasil of this betrayal towards me!" He exclaimed, hoping that he would get out of this tight corner. I burst out laughing, a scary laugh without mirth. "Betrayal, me? Oooh, I don't think so." I let him fall on the ground before taking hold of his arm and turning him around until his back was facing me. Then, without warning, I pulled hard on his arm. His shoulder dislocated with a loud sound and he screamed in pain.

I bent towards him, my lips coming close to his ear. "We heard of your little schemes, Rodyle. Revolutionary weapons, right? Do I really need to tell you that Yggdrasil isn't happy in the least?" I declared in a sugary tone, my insane smile widening with several centimeters. He understood at that moment that we knew about his plans, all of them. And he knew I was here on orders from my superior to kill him. "W-Wait! Surely we could come to an understanding about this!" He exclaimed in a nervous and scared tone. "Please don't kill me! I can surely offer you something in return, anything! And we would not be obliged to talk about it to Yggdrasil! What do you think of this?" I sniggered softly, amused by such an attempt, futile from the very start. "Oh, don't worry. I won't kill you because Yggdrasil asked it from me." I replied simply and I could see relief on his face. "I knew it, you also want to rebel against him, right? Join me! And I can assure you that together, we can get rid of Yggdrasil once and for all!" Was he that stupid? All traces of amusement on my features were erased only to be replaced by anger and disgust. "Who said I wouldn't kill you?" I then asked while taking his other arm and breaking one of his fingers. A scream escaped his lips and he looked at me with fear and confusion. "Bu-But..." I took him by his throat and pinned him on the wall again. "I told you it wasn't because Yggdrasil asked me to get rid of you that I will kill you. However, it will be my pleasure to do it because you _dared_ lay a hand on this man behind me." I broke a second finger in a dry and precise movement, delighted in his suffering. "I will confess something to you. I can't really stand it when someone hurt people who are precious to me." I caressed his third finger before reserving it the same fate as the others. "And it so happens that this man is one of these people. I think you believe me when I say I blame you like you can't even imagine!" My voice was now a whisper barely perceptible only to his ear. In my madness, I still wanted to keep that fact to myself, not wanting for Yuan to know this.

I sniggered while breaking his wrist this time. "Unfortunately for you, since I admitted this to you, I can't afford to keep you alive, no matter what you do." It was his elbow's turn and he screamed again as I took out my gun and pointed it at his temple. "Oh and let me tell you a last little secret! Your entire being disgusts me, simply. It will be a pleasure to take your life and I have waited for this moment with im-pa-tience!" And without leaving him time to reply, I pulled the trigger and the bullet penetrated the skull of this man I hated above all. I let him go and with a last spasm, his body collapsed on the floor like a ragged doll, his eyes lifeless.

My gaze now as cold as ice, I stood up and turned towards Yuan who had witnessed the entire scene half consciously. I didn't notice straight away the scared look he was throwing at me, nor that he was trying to draw back as I was moving towards him, even though his muscles were refusing to answer.

"Stay back! Don't get near me!!"

These words were enough to get me out of my torpor and I froze on the spot, looking at him with surprise and bemusement. He was… rejecting me? N-no, impossible! He was like Anna, he had to understand me, he couldn't reject me! "Yuan, I…" I began softly, but he interrupted me. "You lied to me! You said you were killing only because you were forced to! But tonight, you took pleasure in it! Y-you could have told the police, they would have arrested him! But no, instead you…" He stopped, his breathing short. It was obvious he would not last long and that he would soon sink into unconsciousness. "M-monster…" He let it escape in a breath before succumbing to the darkness. At this word, my mask shattered and I turned my horrified face towards Rodyle who was now lying lifeless on the ground. How could I have killed him so coldly, without any remorse? Even though I didn't want any more deaths on my conscience, I had murdered him in a manner only a psychopath would do. I had had no thoughts other than eliminating him completely, although I could have only rended him unable to do harm like the guards outside before calling the police for them to arrest him. H-how could I have done something so horrible?

I turned back towards Yuan who was now unconscious and hesitated for a long time before wrapping him tightly in one of the bed sheets and lifting him in my arms. I had to at least take him to a hospital to have his wounds attended to.

Leaving the room, I ignored the bodies lying on the floor, stepping over them without seeing them. I didn't notice Presea's presence either, who had stationed herself in front of the room in order for me not to be bothered. And the gaze she threw me proved she had heard everything that had happened inside, from the very start. It was with worry that she observed my crestfallen expression, even though she kept silent, letting me go away.

I laid Yuan gently on the backseat of my car before taking place on the front seat to go towards the hospital. While I was driving, Yuan's words haunted me, going around in my head, getting me insane. What did I just do? I had ruined it all… It was definite that I would not get his help to arrest Yggdrasil anymore. Well… He would help me, but indirectly. He would act alone now.

I finally arrived at destination and scooped once more the unconscious form in my arms before getting in the hospital, walking to the reception were a young woman had her eyes fixed on her computer. The hallways were empty and my steps echoed, which made her lift her head in my direction. While seeing Yuan, her eyebrows creased and she stood up to come towards us. "What happened to him?" She asked to inform herself, but I only shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. I found him in the street in this state, so I thought it best to bring him here." I lied and she looked at me suspiciously. She didn't believe me one bit. She must have been thinking I was the one who had hurt him. "I see… I will go get a doctor, put him down on the stretcher. And stay here, I will have some questions to ask you." She turned away and walked rapidly towards a hallway at my left. During that time, I put Yuan down on the stretcher, looking at his tear-stained face with a hurt look while taking a bang of his long hair that I softly caressed. "I'm so sorry, you can't possibly imagine how much…" I apologized in a murmur, knowing all too well that he couldn't hear me. Then, without another word, I left the hospital, not waiting for the nurse or the doctor. I knew I would look even more suspicious, but I doubted Yuan would tell them I was the one that had hurt him so. And even if he did tell them, the worst that could happen would be the police tracking me down, which would be a good thing. I deserved to be put down behind bars, didn't I? But if I could have some more time before me to avenge my family, I would appreciate it as much…

I parked my car in front of the headquarters, tiredness weighting on my shoulders. It was out of the question to return at Yuan's home. It would be pure and simple madness, especially after what he had said to me. I wasn't welcomed anymore, and with reason. This was the way it should have been from the start.

My steps guided me to my room in the headquarters and I looked at it from the doorstep, my arms folded on my chest. That room had always seemed cold and unfriendly but today, it looked worse than ever. Certainly because it was reminding me that I had nowhere else to go now, that I was completely alone. That thought drove me bitter and I grimaced painfully before going to my bed. While lying on it, my mask shattered once again and an expression of agony took hold of my face. How could I have done this? What had pushed me to kill Rodyle so coldly, without any emotions? Was I a psychopath who adored killing, like Yggdrasil was? A shiver ran through me and the urge to puke washed over me. No. No, I couldn't be like Yggdrasil! It was simply impossible!

So if I wasn't a psychopath, wasn't there some way I could be forgiven? Not even one?! I doubted it. Yuan worked for justice and what I did tonight was contrary to his principles. However, I didn't want to! I… All I had wanted was to save Yuan, I had completely lost control over myself, a thing that _never _happened. So why… why did it happen all of a sudden? Because I cared for him?

At that thought, I felt my cheeks redden and worry was added to the agony. If really it was the case, then I really was betraying Anna. Even though only one week had passed since the incident! Was I desperate to this extent? No I… Impossible, I couldn't betray Anna. I must have had lost control for another reason. It must have happened because Rodyle took pleasure in torturing my companion, that's all. Yeah, there was nothing more to add!

I couldn't betray Anna, I just couldn't do it…

I buried my face in my hands and I rubbed my tired features. How was I going to see to Yuan now? It wasn't like I could just avoid seeing him from now on, since I would be the one to give him his missions now. What would be his reaction next time? Would he really hate me now? I didn't even need to ask for the answer. Of course he would hate me, after what I did…

There was nothing and no one to help me anymore, I was all alone…

* * *

"Revolutionary weapons, hmm?"

I lifted my head and saw that Yggdrasil was staring at his computer screen, certainly reading Sano's report again, that he had sent three days ago. And seeing him stroke his chin, lost in his thoughts, I easily guessed that these weapons were really interesting him. After all, even thought he was the most powerful yakuza in Japan, Yggdrasil was still greedy of power, power that he would do anything to obtain if he didn't already have it.

He turned his head towards me as I had already returned my attention on the reports I had to give him after classifying them. "Kratos, I want you to go meet our little dog and give him his next mission." He ordered me with a carnivorous smile.

I knew that moment would come sooner or later, but I still felt myself panicking inside. I wasn't ready to see him yet, not when the words he had said to me were still so fresh to my mind. "You will tell him he needs to meet that Forcystus and ask the more information possible, to investigate this famous trade of revolutionary weapons. I want all the details." He informed me.

"Are you sure, Mithos? You don't want me to go instead? After all, if you decide to buy weapons from him, it resorts to my function." I tried to get out of this situation while keeping a neutral facade. However, he shook his head. "No. You will go after once he has all the general information, the ones that will let me know if it is worth it or not to have business with this man." I contained a groan of despair and nodded my head before leaving the room in search of Yuan. I didn't know if he was at the headquarters at this moment as he could be at the police station or elsewhere, but it was worth searching anyway, we never know.

It was worth the time after all since I found him rather quickly. He was surely going to Yggdrasil's office to inform on his next mission since it was on the way there that I found him.

He seemed in a better state than the last time I saw him, but I could easily notice that he was more tired than usual and he was still bearing marks; his lip was still swelled up, even though a lot less than last time, but was still visible.

I stopped in my tracks and he did too, staring at me with the hatred I had dreaded. I had hoped he would have thought about his words and gone back on them, but my hopes had been in vain. "Yggdrasil has a new mission for you." I got straight to the point, not having the strength to ask for explanations or to apologize. Anyway, we weren't in a place favorable for this kind of discussion. My face stayed neutral; out of the question to show myself in broad daylight.

"I'm listening." The coldness in his voice and the distance he was putting between us almost made me wince. "You have to meet this Forcystus you mentioned to Yggdrasil and investigate on his business, bring the more useful and pertinent information. And Yggdrasil expects to be as satisfied as before, if not more. You have one week." Slipping in the comment about our superior's satisfaction, I ardently hoped that it would melt even a little bit of this hatred in his eyes. But nothing happened. "I see. I will then get on the task right away." And at his words, he turned away and left, leaving me alone in the hallway. When the sound of his steps had faded, I hit the wall near me with a loud crash. "Dammit!" My features were now torn into furor and pain. Why was I so preoccupied with the fact he was hating me so? A little more than one week before, we were only strangers to each other! So why all of a sudden, the fact that I couldn't have his presence by my side was hurting me as hell? My fists clenched hard and I hit the wall again, hoping no one would see me like this. I didn't want it to end like that! Didn't he promise he would look after me?!

And yet, I knew there was nothing I could do about it.

* * *

Another week passed by and still no news from Yuan. I think he was avoiding the headquarters for good now, only coming here to give his reports. Was this a good or bad thing? After all, if he wasn't coming much, I could forget him little by little… Keeping my neutral facade had become more and more difficult and at several moments, I had almost lost my control in front of Yggdrasil, which would have been the worst thing to do.

I was now lying on my bed, contemplating the ceiling, not really knowing what to do. I didn't want to work right now and I had no one to talk to. It was the reason why I had come back to my room, lost in my thoughts, my gaze hollow and empty.

I suddenly heard soft knocking on my door and I sat up, hoping it wouldn't be Yggdrasil. He came rarely, but it happened sometimes when he knew I was here. I was surprised when I saw Yuan open the door and straight away, confusion showed on my features. My eyes averted on the clock, wondering if it really was evening before looking back at him while sighing. "Don't you think you could have waited tomorrow morning at my office to give me your report?" I declared in a tired voice. I didn't have the will to battle to keep my mask on, nor did I have the will to do any efforts.

"I'm not here for my report." My eyebrows frowned at his words. What was it he wanted then? "I want to talk to you." He continued with seriousness that unsettled me. I took some time before answering a simple, "Okay." and motioning him to come in, while casting him a suspicious look.

What could he possibly want from me?

* * *

**A/N : **Da da daaaaaa! *music coming from nowhere* So, what does Yuan want indeed? *evil grin* You'll have to see in the next chapter~

I really hoped you liked this chapter. I enjoyed making a crazy going Kratos, hu hu hu~ Although poor him for being rejected by Yuan like this. We are way too cruel *whistles*

And I do hope you liked the weekend with Yggdrasil. That's the best I could come up with what could happen, sorry if it wasn't to your expectations. Unfortunately, I couldn't go far because… you'll have to see later on~

Once again, thank you so very much to our fateful reviewers! We love you so much, we really do :3

So see you in two chapters!


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **I want to excuse ourselves for the delay in posting this chapter. We are really, really sorry!! I know it's no excuses, but many things happened that prevented **Saenda** to translate this chapter in time. To resume what happened to her, she went on vacation for a couple of days, then she lost her computer and had to translate again from the beginning, she caught the flu and finally, college had started again… And all that in only three weeks.

I only hope this chapter will be good enough to make up for the long wait! And a big thanks to **Saenda** for having translated the chapter despite all that happened. :)

* * *

**Chapter**** 10 ( Yuan's P.O.V )**

An atrocious migraine slowly stirred me from my comatose sleeping. I opened tired eyes to the white stained ceiling that was foreign to me. I frowned, disorientated. I tried to get up as to get a better look of the place where I was, but a feint pain in my arm forced me to stay lied down. I had the time to see that I was in a hospital room. Someone must have brought me here. This observation brought back memories of what had happened to my mind. Rodyle was dead. By Kratos' hand. I felt miserable at this thought. I had believed in him. I was certain that Kratos killed only because he was obliged to! But I was forced to see that I had been wrong. He had been pleased by it. He had rejoiced of Rodyle's suffering, of his yelling of pain and plea! He had killed him with cold-blood I didn't think he could have. I had never felt so betrayed before.

My last vague memory before losing consciousness was that I had called him a monster. I felt guilt making its way in me, even though Kratos had earned this name in a way. I should not have told him such a thing when he had just saved me from a terrible fate, but I was panicked and my emotions were just a bundle of nerves. Thinking only about the expression his face must have bore at that moment raised my remorse. I had to apologize for that, but I was unable to forgive him for what he had done. By betraying my trust, Kratos had hurt me deeply. I didn't even know how I would react when I would see him again.

The sound of a door opening tore me from my thoughts. I turned my head and saw a young nurse entering the room. She threw me a reassuring smile that I answered with a frown. I had not the force, nor the taste to smile.

"You're finally awake! How do you feel?" She asked me with a strident voice.

"Except for a terrible headache, good." I answered in a hoarse voice.

The young woman opened the curtains covering the window and I was blinded for a moment by the exterior light.

"I see. We can administrate you painkillers if need be. It's a normal symptom after a skull fracture. In a week, you should not feel any pain at all." She tried to reassure me.

I nodded weakly and my gaze went to the window where the sun light filtered.

"How much time have I been here?" I inquired, worried to know what day we were. The nurse approached my bed and proceeded in untying the bandages wrapping my right arm, wounded by bullet.

"Not too long. A man brought you here last night. We're Monday afternoon."

She disinfected the healing wound before applying another bandage. I was relieved to learn that there was not much time had passed since my arrival at the hospital. My last intention was receiving embarrassing questions on Yggdrasil's behalf, like what had happened to me and why I had not given any signs of life for a long while. I did not believe he was the kind of man that appreciated that we made him wait.

The young woman made me sit slowly, raising the pillows behind my back. I let her untie the bandages around my head to verify the state of my wound.

"Perfect. Your wounds are healing nicely, you should be out of the hospital by tomorrow afternoon."

I was glad to hear it. Hospital was by far one of my least favorite places. The less time I would be here, the better I would feel. She placed another bandage around my wound and threw me an inquisitive look.

"You've got a visitor. Do you want me to make him come in?" She asked, seeming worried. I became strained immediately. A visitor... who could it be?! I was scared that it was Kratos. I was in no mood to see him and I didn't know at all how I would react at him. Even so, curiosity took over. After a moment of thought, I nodded affirmatively. The nurse smiled again and left the room. I fixed the door, waiting for it to open once more. When it did, it wasn't Kratos whom entered, but rather Bryant. A Bryant that did not seem in a good mood at all. I observed him, troubled, when he pulled a chair near my bed to sit down. Many questions fell over each other in my head. How did he know I was in the hospital!? Did he know about Rodyle? Had he received m report? My superior threw me a worried and furious look at the same time. I kept quiet, staring at him with a weary look.

"I'm waiting for explanations." He simply demanded in a menacing voice.

It was easy for me to know what he made allusion to, but I didn't react. Bryant growled in irritation from my lack of reaction. He leaned towards me.

"I read your report this morning. I immediately sent men to take care of Rodyle, only to hear that he was found dead in his room!! And when I tried contacting you on your cell, I learn that you were at the hospital, with your skull cracked!!" He tried to control the volume of his voice, without any success. I was surprised that the nurse didn't come to verify what was going on.

I remained stony-faced before Bryant's fit of anger, even though panic was consuming me. If he learned that Kratos had been the one to kill Rodyle, it was all over. He would be thrown behind bars. Even though he would have earned it, I could not resolve to such an eventuality. Bryant sighed in impatience and joined hands.

"I want to know what happened to Rodyle. I'm right in thinking that you were involved in this, no?"

I closed my eyes, trying to block away the pictures from last night that invaded my mind. I knew my superior would not give up until I gave him what he wanted, so I took a deep breath before speaking.

"Rodyle's henchmen attacked me yesterday in a back-alley. They succeeded in knocking me out and brought me to Rodyle's place. He... he wanted… Well, that's not important. I wanted to defend myself and I… I killed him by accident…" I spoke on a weak and trembling voice.

It was the first time I was lying to him. I couldn't believe what I was doing. A part of me still tried to protect Kratos, this part that became attached to him unconditionally, without me noticing.

Bryant stared at me for a long time and I couldn't resolve in looking at him anymore.

"You lie very badly, Yuan." He noticed with conviction.

I nibbled my lip nervously. I did not think he would see that clearly through my lie.

"Who are you trying to protect? Kratos? He's the one who brought you here, no? The doctor told me that a man had brought you here while you were unconscious." He revealed in a steady and cold voice.

Why did Bryant have to guess everything right all the time? I plunged my determined eyes in his.

"I'm protecting no one! Kratos arrived after Rodyle was dead. He's done nothing." I contented myself with lying. Bryant became irritated and stood abruptly. I saw him approaching the window and looking through the glass. He stayed silent for a long while. When he spoke once more, his question disconcerted me.

"What is he for you?"

He turned around to look at me and I merely gaped, unable to answer. What did Kratos... represent to me? I... I hadn't got the slightest idea. I had never dwelled on it. He was a friend, a confidant... Nothing more, right? Bryant's eyes bore into me with an alarming intensity.

"He must be really important to you if you're ready to lie to me this way." He spat angrily.

I felt the need to protest once more.

"No, I..."

"You're ready to put your career at stake for him!! Did you even thought about that!?" His powerful voice exploded in the room, startling me and I looked at him, horrified. Was that really what I was doing? Throwing away my job for him? But of course. I was protecting a criminal and what's more, I was lying bluntly to my superior. Two attitudes that could not be tolerated inside the police. I could certainly not sink any lower. And even in this situation, I still didn't want to denounce Kratos. I was such an idiot.

I buried my face into my arms to hide the bitter tears. At this very moment, the nurse timidly opened the door and threw a careful look at Bryant.

"Erh... I'm very sorry, but for the well-being of our patient, it would be best if you leave..."

Bryant's anger died down slowly. He walked to the door before turning towards me.

"We'll talk about it when you'll have recovered." He harshly told.

I didn't deign look at him. Without another word, he left hurtling off the room under the nurse's frightened look. I could only sob in silence as his speech made me realise what I was doing.

* * *

They let me leave the hospital the next day. I took a taxi to go back at my place. When I entered the apartment, I obviously found it empty of any life. Kratos was nowhere to be found and frankly, I wasn't expecting him to come back. Not after what I had told him... This thought squeezed my heart painfully. I collapsed tiredly on my bed, knowing very well I would not have the time to rest. I had to go see Yggdrasil to ask about my next mission, if there was another. I didn't know if the information I had sent to him were enough... I hoped, considering what I had to endure to get them. My migraine worsened and I had to stand up to take the painkillers I had been prescribed, knowing very well the side effects it would lead to... I might have to go through a good half-hour at emptying everything that my stomach contained, even though my last meal went back far. I didn't have any appetite and the only thought of food gave me nausea at the moment.

I changed myself and observed my reflection in the mirror. On my neck, numerous dark marks were visible, left there by Rodyle two days ago. I couldn't bear to let them in sight, so I slipped into a high collar shirt to hide them. The fewer things likely to make me remember this despicable being, the better it would be. I fixed myself up the best I could, but I could not do anything for my sickly look, nor for my swollen lip. Sighing tiredly, I prepared myself to get to Yggdrasil's headquarters.

I walked along the hallways leading to Yggdrasil's office. I wasn't in the mood to run into Kratos now. I wasn't ready to face him, not after what he had done. I turned around the hallway's corner leading to my destination when I came face to face with no other than Kratos, to my misfortune. At the sight of his face, my emotions swirled violently inside me and I could do nothing except looking at him with loath. I knew I would hurt him this way, but I still held a grudge against him. But if I hurt him, it didn't show. His face remained stony-faced.

"Yggdrasil has another mission for you." He told me on a neutral voice.

Ah. So that was all he had to say to me. My fury only grew. If he didn't want to apologize for his actions, then fine. He would not get any sympathy on my behalf.

"I'm listening." I replied coldly.

I was putting a cold distance between us, one that had never existed. Again, no emotions betrayed his calm facade. I got the irresistible urge to tear apart that revolting mask, to crush it into dust so that he would never be able to hide a single emotion ever again.

"You have to meet this Forcystus you mentioned to Yggdrasil and investigate on his business, bring the more useful and pertinent information. And Yggdrasil expects to be as satisfied as before, if not more. You have one week."

I had my answer, then. Yggdrasil was satisfied of the information I brought him back. Perfect. I was at least certain I could continue the investigation within Yggdrasil's family. The only bothering point was that I would go nowhere without asking Kratos the drugs dealer's list having business with Yggdrasil. I was however in no mood to speak to him even more, nor to see his face another second. It would have to wait.

"I see. I will then get on the task right away." I simply replied.

I turned around and moved away quickly, without throwing him another look. I could not bear his presence any longer.

* * *

Back at my apartment, I threw myself on the bed. Seeing Kratos now had moved me deeply... Despite the hatred I'd shown, I didn't hate him... I just had not known how to react in front of him and it was the first reaction that came to mind. I didn't want him to see how deeply he had hurt me, how deeply I was broken. I _should_ hate him for having betrayed me, but I wasn't able to... Why!? Bryant's speech came back brutally to my mind. _"What is he for you? __He must be really important to you if you're ready to lie to me this way."_ A bitter smile painted my lips. Yes. Without me noticing, Kratos had become even more important than my work. I was ready to sacrifice anything to have him near me. I was ready to sacrifice seven years of work to a man I barely knew, ready to sacrifice my future for him... I felt even more miserable as I realised that it didn't matter what he did to me, I could never hate Kratos. I was that stupid. His presence had become essential just like the air I breathed.

My phone rang and I did not deign answer. When the answering machine picked up, Botta's voice rang out in the silence of my room.

"Yuan!? It's Botta! I learned today that Rodyle's dead… I don't know what happened, but I'm worried about you. I haven't heard from you since Friday and you don't answer my calls... Please, call me back when you can..." His message was hasty and his voice anxious.

The fact that Botta was worrying this much for me touched me deeply. I wanted to reassure him the sooner I could, but that included telling him what had happened with Rodyle and Kratos but I wasn't in the mood for it. And I was too exhausted for now.

Reaching my alarm clock, I set it for nine this evening, so that I could get to the club Saza-E. It didn't take me long to fall into a lethargic sleep.

_I ran breathlessly in the dark and winding hallways, attempting to flee the fate that I knew inevitable. I could hear snickers behind me and I forced myself to go faster. I turned around a __corner and found myself face to face with a wall. I couldn't flee anymore. It was over. I turned around swiftly but didn't have time to react as someone pushed me violently on the wall behind me. It winded me. I raised terrified eyes on Rodyle's victorious face._

"_There's nowhere else to run, my little exotic bird..." He sang in a honeyed voice._

_I yelled at my body to run, but I could as well have been made of marble. Rodyle pinned my arms against the wall with a steel grasp and he approached to murmur in my ear._

"_You can only blame yourself, Sano... to possess such an attractive body, a face so beautiful and delicate... Let me see that perfect face torn by pain, pleading me to stop."_

_Rodyle smirked carnivorously and before my horrified eyes, got a long knife out of his pocket, approaching it dangerously from my face._

"_No... Let me go..."_

_I begged him with a trembling voice while the blade brushed slowly against my skin, tormenting me, promising a horrible pain._

_Bang._

_Rodyle stopped dead in his gesture, a trickle of blood flowing down his half-opened mouth. Lowering my gaze, I saw a bullet stuck in his chest, where the vermeil liquid escaped. Rodyle collapsed on the ground with a start. I then saw Kratos standing behind him, the gun raised where smoke still escaped. I could not distinguish his face, as if a dark veil was covering it. He let the weapon fall and hid his face in his hands. My body trembling all over, I approached slowly towards him._

"_Kratos?" I called out softly._

_He didn't react, didn't move. When he was at my fingertips, I gently took his hands in mine and lowered them to see his face. I hiccupped in terror and backed away sharply as he raised his head towards me. Instead of his eyes stood two gaping black holes where trickles of blood escaped. Kratos staggered towards me, lifting a blood stained hand in my direction._

"_Yuan? Where are you!? I can't see you anymore!!__" He demanded with an alarmed and trembling voice._

_I backed away even more, my hiccup transforming into terrified sobs. His face!! What had happened to him!? He fell on his knees and stuck his nails into the skin of his face, leaving streaks of blood._

"_He's not here anymore... I killed him, with those stained hands..." He muttered with a broken voice, torn with pain._

_My back hit the wall and I let myself slide on the ground, my trembling fingers grapping my hair harshly, my horrified gaze still riveted on Kratos._

"_No, no, it's a nightmare, please..." I sobbed, my vision blurring because of the tears flowing down my cheeks..._

I leaped in my bed, my body trembling all over, my face stained by tears. It took me a long while to realise that it had been nothing more than a nightmare. The vision of Kratos refused to leave me and I buried my face in my hands. A long time went by before I finally calmed down and the tears stopped flowing, but his bloody face haunted me relentlessly. I tried to understand my dream's signification, if there was only one. In vain. I was overwrought and I was unable to think. I looked at my alarm clock and saw that it was almost nine. I sighed and stood with difficulty. Surely, a nice shower would change my mind.

* * *

An hour later, I stood in front of the Saza-E club in Kita-ku, where Forcystus was supposed to be. I wasn't even out of my car that the club's music filled my eardrums. I could see a crowd of people hurrying to get inside, seeming excited and happy. I was far from sharing their heresy. I wasn't here to have fun, but rather carrying out my new mission. This time, I didn't have the intention of facing Forcystus directly, at least not until I learned a bit more about him. I entered inside the club, letting my gaze wander around. At first sight, this club wasn't any different from others. There was a bar and dance floor, already crowded by a good number of youngsters who danced at the rhythm of the music. I doubted Forcystus was among them. There must be private lounges where he made business with his clients. I blended with the crowd, looking for such places. I thought I had found when I saw the entrance of a room covered by a silky curtain and guarded by a serious looking man in a distant corner of the club. I knew I could not enter it easily so I had brought the necessary equipment. The only thing left was to wait for a guinea pig...

I only had to wait about ten minutes or so. I saw a man in his thirties coming forward nonchalantly towards the private lounge. Without losing time, I emerged from my observation point and went towards him. With a shoulder movement, I shoved him lightly in a way that seemed accidental.

"Oh, I'm very sorry. I didn't see you there." I apologized profusely, placing my hand near his shoulder to get my balance back, taking advantage of this moment to hook a miniature microphone on the collar of his jacket without him noticing. The man raised an eyebrow.

"No, it's quite all right." He answered with a smile.

I returned it before excusing myself once more and moving away towards the bar. And it was done. I ordered something to drink at the bar and activated the tape recorder in my pocket connected with an earphone. This way, I would hear everything in this room without me being there.

At first it merely was a cacophony of sounds, but soon, the surrounding music muffled little by little and I could distinguish voices becoming louder.

"_...you are! We were wondering if you would come today."_ A cheerful voice called out to someone that I guessed was the man I had shoved.

"_You were the only one to be wondering, Oda. Don't include me in this."_ A gruff voice answered abruptly.

"_Fine, asshole. It doesn't matter. How are you, Shunsui? It's been a while we've seen you here."_ The man named Oda spoke once more.

My drink arrived and I sipped it absent-mindedly.

"_You didn't know? Forcystus __ordered me to go to Seoul to take care of a new weapon order. I thought he would be here today, but it doesn't seem like it."_ My eyes lit up as I heard the name Forcystus. Even if he wasn't there in person, I knew I had succeeded in putting my hands on one of his men. Surely this conversation would reveal interesting.

"_In that case, you mustn't know! Rodyle died two days ago!!"_ Oda's excited voice reached me.

"_What!? You're kidding!"_

"_No. You think I would __joke with that?"_

"_It's not the police, I hope?"_

"_What, those incompetents!? Don't make me laugh! No, you know Kratos Aurion?__" _I frowned as I heard his name. He seemed to be too known to my taste.

"_He's... Yggdrasil's lieutenant? He's the one who got rid of Rodyle!?"_

"_So it seems. This means only one thing; Yggdrasil knows about the link between Forcystus and Rodyle. I wouldn't be surprised if he traces us all the way here."_

It really was worrisome that those men knew this much about what had happened. This meant one thing; there were leaks of information at Rodyle's place. I wouldn't be surprised if Forcystus had put Rodyle under surveillance. No one seemed to trust him, and with reasons.

"_And personally, I would rather not have any contacts with him..."_

"_That will depend of Forcystus... I doubt he would miss such an opportunity, he could make enormous profits..."_

"_Enough talking you two, get to work!"_

"_Ok, no need to get so worked up... I have here the weapon's list Mayuri ordered. Do we have everything?"_

"_Let's see... The SIG-550 are there... as well as the Benelli M4 and the G3 rifle... Is there something missing?"_

"_Hmm, no everything's there. What are the other orders?"_

At this moment, I stopped listening carefully. They only were reeling off names of known weapons... But there was the problem... They weren't revolutionary weapons, but weapons easily bought on the black market and used by the military. I kept on recording the conversation until the end anyway. I could listen to it later. They talked this way for a good half-hour before separating. Finally. One of my too frequent migraines since my leave at the hospital was starting to form because of the too loud music. I closed my tape recorder and paid my drink before exiting the club.

Back at my place, I tried to sleep once more, but sleep refused to come. The memories of my nightmare came back and I was terrified at the idea of living it again. To get my mind somewhere else, I spent the night listening to the recording and I searched for all the weapons' names, in hope that there would be some unknown to this day, but without any success. Something was missing, but what?

* * *

The next day, I received a call from Bryant. He was asking me to meet him at his office. I knew what he wanted to speak about and it was reluctantly that I joined him at the police station. I was nervous, afraid of what he would announce to me. He had the perfect rights to fire me... When I entered his office, I was surprised to see he was not angry anymore. He gestured me to sit down and I didn't argue.

"You seem to be feeling better." Bryant noticed with a calm voice.

"Yes, I guess so." I answered carefully.

He leaned towards me and stared at me.

"I want to apologize for losing my temper against you at the hospital."

I was surprised to hear him apologize. I lowered my gaze.

"You shouldn't, I fully deserved it..." I said in a low voice.

"Yuan, you know I care for you more than a superior should, and your success is very important to me. So seeing you sacrifice your job this way saddens me..." He told me gravely.

I could not resolve in meeting his eyes as I felt too ashamed. I did not deserve this kind of concern towards me. Bryant smiled sadly.

"The problem is that you're involving yourself too much in this. I know it's a habit you've taken, but at this point... I don't know what to think anymore."

Everything he was saying was true. I involved myself too emotionally, but never before would I have protected a criminal this way. What I had done was unforgivable. But I couldn't give up this investigation, even with the obvious decision Bryant would take.

"I know you have the rights to fire me and if that is your decision, I will not raise any objections. But if you do, I will still help Kratos, with or without the police's help." I was able to say with conviction.

Bryant sighed and his smile fell.

"I knew you would say that."

He fell silent for a short instant before looking at me once more with serious eyes.

"Listen, I gave your version concerning Rodyle's death."

I looked at him with wide eyes. Bryant had written in the report that I had accidently killed Rodyle!? He had lied, but... why?

"Because I'm persuaded that your investigation is worth it, I lied this time. But don't think I will do it again. If Kratos kills someone again and you protect him once more, this time you will definitely be fired. Am I clear?"

I felt tears threatening to fall. I did not deserve such treatment... Bryant was giving me a second chance. It was up to me to not miss it. I bowed respectfully before him.

"Thank you... This time, I swear I will not disappoint you anymore…" I promised him in a trembling voice.

He couldn't know how much I was grateful.

"I hope so..." He murmured sadly.

The conversation I had with Bryant had relieved me and it was a bit easier for me to concentrate on Forcystus' case, even though it didn't give much more results. I returned to Saza-E club every night, hoping to hear a conversation where Forcystus would be present. But he was absent all weak, depriving my possibility to meet him and the conversations I recorded didn't tell me much more than the first; only selling lists concerning known weapons. It discouraged me. At this rhythm, I would have nothing interesting to report to Yggdrasil.

* * *

A weak had passed since the last time I had seen Kratos. I had to admit that I was avoiding the headquarters most of the time. I still held a grudge against him and I didn't know what I could say if I came face to face with him. However, I missed his presence terribly. I had never felt so alone, and sleep didn't manage in filling this emptiness. When I didn't spend a sleepless night, I was assaulted by nightmares as horrible as the first. In each one, Kratos was agonising, unable to find or touch me and I could do nothing about it. Some seemed so real that I had to stop myself from running to him to verify if he was safe and sound. It was a real torture.

But I knew I couldn't avoid Kratos forever. I would have to hand over my report on Forcystus tomorrow at the latest. It was almost ten in the evening and I was playing back the information concerning Forcystus' arms dealing when someone knocked on my door. I stopped dead and stared at the door, wondering who it could be at this hour. I stood up and walked carefully to the door. The person knocked once more softly. I half-opened the door only to see a young girl around sixteen years old with pink hair brought back into two bunches looking at me indifferently. I frowned. I didn't recognize her... I opened the door completely.

« Yes? What can I do for you?" I asked politely, staring at her.

The girl bowed respectfully before me.

"Sano Nagano, it's nice to meet you." She told me on a voice without intonation.

I was troubled when she pronounced my name. How did she know? I became immediately suspicious.

"...Do we know each other?" I asked carefully after a moment of silence.

The young girl's face betrayed no emotion as she answered me.

"Somewhat. I wanted to speak to you about Kratos."

Hearing this name, I froze. The conflicting emotions that livened up inside me this last week surfaced once more and contented myself in avoiding the subject.

"If you're here only for that, then I would ask you to leave." I told her coldly, pretending to close the door.

A fragile hand grabbed the edge of the door and my eyes settled on her inexpressive face. In a way, she reminded me of Kratos and it was not a good time for that.

"Wait. Listen to what I have to say, at least..." She begged me, not removing her hand.

I thought about it for a moment. If this stranger took the care of coming to see me at this hour to talk to me about Kratos, it must be important... I finally capitulated.

"...Well, all right. Come in." I nodded and freed the way.

When she was inside, I closed the door behind me and showed her the way to my kitchen. She sat on a chair and I joined her. I detailed her curiously. I was certain I'd never seen her before.

"Could I ask who you are?" I asked, since _she_ seemed to know me, under my borrowed name moreover.

"I work for Yggdrasil. We didn't have the chance to meet until now, but I'm a friend of Kratos. My name is Presea Combatir. We could say I'm in… a similar situation than his."

She didn't have to tell me more so I could understand. She must want to escape Yggdrasil's hold as well. Kratos must have told her who I really was, if she judged safe to reveal me her intentions.

"I see... And what did you want to talk about Kratos?" I asked seriously, not in the mood for a conversation that would stretch forever.

Presea's face seemed to darken, even though it could be an effect of my imagination.

"... He... is depressed a lot since last week. Since the incident with Rodyle." She whispered gloomily without leaving my gaze.

I could only look at her with surprise. How did she know about what had happened at Rodyle's place!? Kratos had told her everything?

"How do you know –" I started, but she cut me.

"I was following you at the moment. Kratos had asked me to do so, as a precaution. He was afraid for you." She confessed, her blue pupils boring into mine, watching my reaction.

It didn't make itself wait. I felt a wave of anger and outrage take hold of me. My eyes threw lightning. I could not believe he had ordered someone to follow me while he was gone!

"Would it kill him to believe in me a little!" I growled in fury.

Presea shook her head, not at all bothered by my change of attitude.

"He _does_ believe in you, but he knew Rodyle well, better than you did at least. He knew there were high possibilities that he trapped you." She explained neutrally.

This time, I didn't know what to say. One of my interrogations had found an answer. I had wondered how Kratos had found me at that time. Now, I knew. Presea had informed him that I had been captured by Rodyle and he had rushed to my rescue... Without this precaution, Rodyle would have done everything he wanted on me... Knowing this, my anger vanished partly. Could I really blame him considering he had saved my life? Seeing that I wasn't answering, Presea spoke once more.

"Anyway, since that incident, he's nothing more than his shadow. I barely see him and he spends most of his time either in his room, either absorbed by work. I'm worried. I've never seen him in this state before."

My guilt came back in full force. Kratos had been no better than I for the past week, and I was certain I was the cause. After all, I had called him a monster, had rejected him when he had saved me...

"It's... because of me, right?" I was able to say, anxious of the answer.

Presea stared at me with her cold eyes.

"I think so. Being rejected by you hurt him deeply."

To hear it directly was like a slap in the face. I never had wanted to hurt him, but I had done it anyhow. I bit my lip anxiously and took my head into my hands.

"How should I have reacted!? He had claimed to me he hated killing and he murdered Rodyle before my eyes, without a glimpse of remorse!! He lied to me, when I've made so many efforts to help him!!" I got worked up; trying to defend the fact I had acted as a bastard towards him.

Presea's eyes seemed to soften.

"He regrets it. I saw the expression on his face, Sano. He didn't think about it. He was so panicked at the idea that Rodyle could hurt you that he reacted on instinct." She murmured in a gentle voice.

"But that doesn't explain his actions, I..." I wanted to cling to my ideals, to what prevented me from forgiving him. If I didn't, I would risk being devoured by guilt. Presea leaned towards me to obtain all my attention.

"Believe me, I've known Kratos for a long time. He's ready to dirty his hands to protect people that are dear to him, even if it kills him little by little..."

I froze at her words. I was... dear to him? Enough for him to be ready to sacrifice himself in order to protect me... And I had done nothing but reject him. I thought of the way I would feel if Kratos would have rejected me in the same way… I suddenly felt very disgusted towards myself.

"What should I do..." I murmured miserably.

Presea sighed before taking the liberty of smiling lightly.

"Do not condemn him. He didn't think badly, he merely wanted to save you. It was all I had to say. Think about it."

Presea stood up and bid me farewell before silently leaving my apartment. I didn't even have the decency to reply. I was too confused to do anything. But through my confused emotions, I could distinguish one clear thing; my entire being screamed that I go see him and forgive his actions. Without waiting, without worrying about the late hour, I rushed outside my apartment. I had to see him. Now.

* * *

I was frozen, standing before the closed door of Kratos' room, fist raised, ready to knock. I still hesitated. And if he didn't want to see me anymore? He had the rights, after the way I had treated him... I had to admit, I was terrified at the idea he would reject me. This made me a hypocrite, since I had rejected him no sooner than a week before. I calmed myself and, gathering my courage, I knocked lightly against the door's wood, but strong enough for Kratos to hear me. However, no answer came. Maybe he was sleeping... I decided to take a chance and opened the door slowly.

Kratos wasn't sleeping. He was sitting on his bed, looking at me in confusion. I saw him throw a glance at the clock that decorated his room. He sighed before looking at me once more.

"Don't you think you could have waited tomorrow at my office to give me your report?" He declared on a tired voice.

The tone of his voice alarmed me. I had never seen him in this state, looking so tired. Guilt was once more overwhelming. I shook my head.

"I'm not here for my report. I want to talk to you." I said with seriousness that seemed to disconcert him. He frowned.

"Alright." He simply told after a moment of silence, gesturing me to enter.

I came in the room and gently closed the door behind me. Without waiting for his consent, I sat next to him on the bed. My heart was beating at full speed. I was nervous, the fear of being rejected knotting my stomach. Kratos kept quiet, staring at me, and I knew he was waiting for me to speak. I couldn't resolve in looking at him in the face.

"...Presea came to see me earlier." I let out in almost a whisper.

In a glance, I saw Kratos' confused expression, expression that suddenly changed for carefulness. He seemed to fear what she had told me.

"...Oh." He simply said and I almost wanted to smile, if it wasn't for the fact that I was terrified at the moment.

"She... made me realise certain things." I said with hesitation.

Kratos opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him, lifting my face to plunge my eyes in his.

"Kratos... I'm sorry." I said in a rush with a pleading voice, not letting go of his eyes. I wanted him to see that I couldn't be any more sincere.

He seemed surprise to hear me apologize. Soon, he frowned and his expression became bitter.

"You don't need to apologize, I'm the one who..." He started with a tone full of regrets. I hushed him quickly, placing a finger on his lips.

"Let me speak, please." I whispered, removing my finger and Kratos nodded. I took a deep breath.

"I want to apologize for calling you a monster and rejecting you that way. It was horrible on my behalf and I don't think it at all. I never wanted to hurt you this way..." I apologized in a miserable voice, shadow of how I had felt this long week, without Kratos near me. Kratos closed his eyes and a hurt expression appeared on his face.

"But I fully deserved it..." He retorted.

"Don't say that! You repent for killing him, right?" I raised my voice, which caused Kratos to startle and his gaze came back on me. I didn't want him to think this way, for him to depreciate himself that way. It was hard enough to hear him taking all the blame on himself. I saw so much regret and sadness in his eyes that I felt my heart squeezing painfully.

"Yes, I regret it. I didn't want to go that far, I didn't think..." He murmured in a broken voice.

"Then you're not a monster!! I forbid you to think that again." I lost my temper once more. I couldn't bear to see him think such a thing.

A heavy silence suddenly weighed on us. I tried to find a way to express what I had to tell him, but this time Kratos was ahead of me. His hand brushed mine lightly and I started a bit, surprised by the touch. I looked at him once more and lost myself in his dark pupils. I was suddenly conscious of his proximity.

"I'm so sorry, Yuan, you don't know how much..." He whispered sincerely.

My breath shortened as I could not pull away from his eyes.

"...Why?"

Kratos looked away, nibbling his lip harshly.

"I betrayed your trust. I sincerely thought I wouldn't need to kill anymore, but when I saw that this asshole was about to rape you, I lost all reason... I beg of you to forgive me..." He said in a dark voice.

I shivered, recalling the moment Kratos had arrived just in time to stop Rodyle from making me his sexual slave. This event was too fresh in my mind. I sadly shook my head.

"I can't forgive what you've done, I'll never be able to. It goes against my principles." I declared firmly, staring at him.

For a short while, I saw a hurt expression on his face. I allowed myself a weak smile. Kratos looked at me in confusion.

"But I forgive _you_, because I know you only had the need to protect me in mind. And I think that if I had found myself in a similar situation, I would have done the same."

Kratos was speechless for a long while, looking at me in surprise. He didn't seem to have expected such an answer. Soon, his expression became indifferent.

"But you would have stopped in time." He pointed out darkly.

"... I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't have." I replied thoughtfully. I wouldn't know until his life would be in danger, and I preferred to avoid such an alternative.

I glanced at him, only to see him lost in thoughts. I leaned closer to his face, gaining his attention.

"Kratos... thank you."

His eyes told me he didn't understand why I was thanking him. I had the need to explain.

"If you hadn't arrived at the time to save me, Rodyle would have obtained everything he wanted from me."

My friend's gaze darkened.

"You shouldn't thank me. It's my fault in the first place if you found yourself there." He replied in a tone full of regrets.

Suddenly, without him having the time to react, I slapped him harshly behind the head. Kratos vividly turned in my direction, with a stunned expression.

"Ouch!! Why did you hit me!?" He was indignant and I showed a mocking smile.

"I told you I would hit you if you took all the blame on yourself!! How many times must I repeat to you that I make my _own_ choices!!" I exclaimed in a half light-hearted, half irritated tone.

"Sorry." He grumbled, rubbing his head at the spot I just hit him.

I sincerely hoped he would cease to take the blame on all that happened. I regained a straight face.

"But, if you truly want to be forgiven, you have to promise me two things." I said with seriousness. I really wanted to insist on those two conditions.

"Everything you want." Kratos promised without delay.

"You have to promise me you'll never kill someone again just as you did with Rodyle."

Kratos' expression darkened and he stared at the palm of his hands thoughtfully.

"I don't know if I can promise you that, Yuan... If you're in danger once more, I might not be able to control myself..." He admitted reluctantly.

"Then I'll stop you. It's really important that you promise…" I insisted, thinking back at Bryant's warning. I knew pretty well that if Kratos killed someone again, I would defend him, costing me my job. I think he saw the importance of this request in my eyes.

"Alright. I promise. And what's the second condition?" He asked carefully.

"I would like you to cease hiding your emotions when we're only the two of us."

At the expression of his face, I saw that this request bothered him. I knew it was difficult for him to show his emotions, but I was tired to see him hide everything he felt. I wanted him to trust me enough to show me every facet of his personality.

"It's... Yuan, you know it's difficult for me... For years, I was forced to hide everything. I wouldn't be able to change overnight." Kratos explained softly and I shook my head, a sad smile painted on my lips.

"And I'm not asking you to do it. Even if it's little by little, it'll be enough. If I can see you truly smile one day, it'll be enough for me..."

I whispered, my eyes losing themselves once more in the abyss of his dark pupils.

I heard his breath stop for a moment. It was as if the dam that kept his emotions captive had collapsed. A myriad of emotions whirled in his eyes and I felt captured by them, unable to look away, having no intentions to do so.

Suddenly, Kratos' arms wrapped themselves around my waist and he pulled me gently near him. My eyes widened in shock.

"Kratos!?" I murmured, breath shortened.

"I'll do my best..." He replied on a trembling voice.

"I believe... you're managing pretty well..." I teased while laughing lightly.

He buried his face in my neck, tightening his embrace. Once the initial shock was over, I let myself go in his arms, loving the warmth of his body. I clutched tightly the fabric of his shirt as my heart threatened to come out of my chest.

"I missed you Yuan... This week has been unbearable without you." He murmured in my ear, which caused shivers running down my spine.

I felt myself blush against my wishes at those words. I was happy to learn he had missed me. My face cracked a big smile that he could not see.

"I missed you as well..." I replied in a whisper.

An unexplainable feeling took hold of me as I lay in Kratos' arms. A consuming fire threatened to take hold of my entire being and I pushed it away, fearing its signification. I wasn't ready to such an eventuality. I contented myself in burying my face in his chest, breathing his scent. It had been so long since someone had held me this way and that I had ever felt so... complete, as if Kratos filled the void inside me. I didn't want to lose that feeling, ever... I felt Kratos' warm breathing against my neck and I clutched his shirt even tighter. I didn't want him to break that embrace, I didn't want to lose this wonderful warmth he was giving me. This warmth that lulled me to sleep that I had so much wanted to obtain in the last week. I felt myself becoming lethargic and I tried to fight against exhaustion, not wanting to lose the sensation of well-being Kratos was giving me, but the emotions and weariness I felt soon got the better of me. I was aware of someone calling my name softly before I fell asleep, smile on my face.

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **I hope this was to your taste. Yuan managed to forgive Kratos. What will result of that? Te be continued in the next chapter, do not miss it!

I also wanted to take this time to announce that there's a possibility the release of the chapters will be delayed a little, since school started again. We apologize in advance! We will do our best to not make you wait too much!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer : ** We own nothing, as always, the characters belong to Namco (excepts the non important ones with Japanese names xD) And thank you again to Little Rosebud for translating the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter**** 11**

"Yuan?"

My now soft voice resounded in the room and when I got no response, I knew he had fallen asleep. A vaguely amused, but especially tender smile took hold of my lips. I had rarely seen Yuan this peaceful and that view charmed me all the more. I would give all I had to always see him like this, for him to be free of any worries.

I sighed softly and my gaze turned bitter. I had been a huge cause of worry for him and I regretted it atrociously. If only I hadn't killed Rodyle, if only I hadn't lost control of myself… Yuan wouldn't have had to hate me before guilt tore him part. He didn't deserve such a thing, not in the least.

I suddenly realized the way I was holding him in my arms and how I had taken him in the first place. I panicked a little, not understanding how I could have acted like that from pure instinct. Yuan had become terribly important to me, I was aware of it. But to this extent? It was scaring me. I was scared not only because of Anna, but also because of Yggdrasil. If… if I got too close to Yuan, who knows what he would do to him? And the fact that Yuan was his spy would go way over his head, that I was sure of.

And still, despite all that, I couldn't resign myself to let go of him. I was so happy to finally have him back at my side, I couldn't abandon him by fear of Yggdrasil hurting him. He would be able to defend himself… and I would protect him anyway. Yes, it was decided. I will protect him, until I die! It was out of the question for Yuan to be hurt and humiliated again!

I lied down the sleeping form of my friend on my bed before getting up and locking the door. A simple precaution in case someone decided to enter without my permission. After all, I certainly couldn't bring Yuan to his home now; someone would see me and it would be suspicious. And if I was seen sleeping beside Yggdrasil's spy, they would ask questions.

I looked at him sleeping as I sat back on the bed, untying his hair carefully and stroking them tenderly in the meantime. A small smile made its way on my lips. Show my emotions, hmm? It would be… difficult. I would have to fight against myself to do it. Looking indifferent was a second nature to me. I felt like a robot. But for him, I would do what it takes. I wanted him to be happy and if it meant showing my true self to him, then I would do it.

I stayed like that for a long time, observing him and caressing his hair lovingly. If it wasn't for the fact he began to shake from the cold without my warmth, I think I would have stayed frozen like this, contemplating his hair and his peaceful face.

I laid him under the covers before also slipping under them. I was as tired as he was. The week had been too long, as I had plunged too much in work to forget what had happened. I had been so scared to never have him by my side again that it had become unbearable.

My arms closed around his waist and I pulled him close to me, before one of my hands came to rest under his head. Knowing him, nightmares surely plagued him in the last week, Rodyle haunting him even after his death. I hoped that keeping him close to me like this would chase away those nightmares and let him sleep peacefully. My gaze never left his sleeping face until my own eyelids became too heavy and I was finally welcomed in the arms of Morpheus.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, the first thing that was blindingly obvious was Yuan's sleeping form still pressed against me. I couldn't repress a smile once more, even just a little, at the sight. Gently, careful not to wake him up, I caressed his long blue hair, wanting him to rest just a bit more. But suddenly, knocking pounded on my door and I startled. Glancing at the clock, I frowned. Who could be bothering me at seven in the morning? It was insane!

But I didn't have time to think about it more since the knocking became more insistent and the person even tried to open the door! This meant only one thing; Yggdrasil was on the other side. Luckily, I had decided to lock the door the previous night. "Yuan, Yuan wake up!" I murmured hastily, shaking his shoulder. He mumbled in his sleep and finally woke up while limply rubbing his eyes. He was disconcerted, not understanding what was the hurry. "Hmm... Kratos? What's going on…?" he mumbled with tiredness still present in his voice.

"Yggdrasil is on the other side of the door! Hurry and go hide in the bathroom!" I hissed with haste, glancing worriedly at the door. The person knocked on it once more, this time harder. He was not happy!

Yuan was now completely awake. He nodded and his worried eyes met mine before he stood and went to hide in said room. I made sure he was well concealed, then went to open the door, forging myself a half-inexpressive, half-tired mask, as if to show I had just woken up by the knocking.

I unlocked the door and didn't even have the time to open it that my superior entered in a whirlwind, pushing me while doing so. "Would you care to explain why your door was locked?!" Not a good morning, not a single apology for waking me at such an early hour. Only a murderous look. I sighed, running a hand in my hair. "I don't know. I must have done it without noticing, I was really tired last night." I explained simply, discouraged by his attitude. His fists tightened and the storm in his eyes only worsened. "And could you explain why you took so much time to open?" He cried out on a powerful voice.

I had to refrain myself from growling in irritation. I was not in the mood for such a discussion with him this early in the morning. "As I've just told you, Mithos, I was tired. I just woke up, I didn't realise immediately that someone was knocking." A 'Tch!' escaped his lips and he looked at the room as if to make sure I was saying the truth and there was no one else. As long as he didn't rummage through my bathroom, everything would be all right. "You're supposed to be my best yakuza! You're supposed to be alert to the least request, no, least sound I'm making!" He criticized and I had to refrain from throwing at him that I was merely human. "I'm sorry Mithos, it won't happen again." My face was inexpressive as it met his and even though it angered him more, he still tried to calm himself. I really thought he wanted to hit me, but that he was restraining himself with all his strength. What could have gotten him in such a rotten mood?

He closed his eyes and regained a poised attitude to open them with a dark gaze I had rarely seen. I didn't know what had put him in such a state, but I felt I would know really soon.

"I heard that a certain _spy_ came to see you last night, really late." He spat, the word spy said with so much hatred I almost shivered. How could he have known? Someone had seen Yuan come into my room? At the hour he had arrived, I found myself a bit surprised, but once more, it was Yggdrasil's organization we were talking about. Everything could happen here. I just hoped that this person had not stayed to see if Yuan would go away.

"It's indeed the case, he came to make a quick report." I explained while closing the door behind me. Yggdrasil gave out a brief, cold laugh and his expression was now entirely suspicious. "Very well, so you can enlighten me now!" He exclaimed, sitting on my undone bed without me giving him permission. Of course, Yggdrasil would never wait for permission.

"He came to tell me he would only be able to see Forcystus today since he was absent for the past week, which would be why he has taken more time than the last mission. He wanted to warn me since his due date was for today." It did not seem to convince my superior and he stood once more. "That late? He came to tell you that late?!" I sighed softly. "He learned it last night, he had no alternative." I explained and Yggdrasil was not able to reply back.

I knew perfectly I had just put Yuan in trouble and that he must be angry at me. But it was the only way he could have come see me at such a late time without stirring up doubt from the yakuza. If he was not able to speak to Forcystus in the end, I would find a solution with him so that he would not be punished. For him to be hurt because of me was out of the question!

He came closer to me and stopped only inches away, his gaze haughty and full of hatred. "I think you're spending too much time together!" He seethed.

"I don't know what you mean. I see him because he's your spy and that he has reports to do, that's all." I lied, my face inexpressive. Lying... a second nature I was eager to get rid of!

He suddenly grasped my hair harshly with both hands and I could feel his hot breath on my skin. "I still think that you're seeing each other too much for a simple spy-superior relation! Are you trying to betray me again? What have I told you last time? Don't forget who you belong to! Me and no one else, you hear?!"

"I know M – Hmph!" I had not been prepared at all by what happened next. Yggdrasil had literally cut me by placing his lips against my own, kissing me ferociously, forcing his tongue inside my mouth. I reacted the second after and I pushed him away with all my strength before pressing myself against the wall behind me, panting, staring at him with a mix of fright and anger. It was the first time I was showing myself this way before him, but he had seriously caught me unprepared. I had seen this look he was throwing me multiple times, but I never thought he would actually do it! Or try, at least.

As panting as I was, he wiped the corner of his mouth before his eyes creased in the most intense fury I had ever seen. "How dare you push me away?! And don't look at me like that!" He yelled as he charged at me once more, this time his lips meeting with the skin of my neck, his hands clinging to my arms to avoid being pushed away again. Unfortunately for him, he was in no way able to measure up with me and I could easily push him away. However, there were multiple ways he could immobilize me, so maybe I should...

A ring tone suddenly rang out and I felt my heart jump in relief as I realized it was the one of my cell phone. I never thought I would someday be able to use the expression 'saved by the bell!'

He raised his head and looked harshly at me. "I forbid you to answer." He ordered, tightening his hold on my arms. I stared at him impassively. "Mithos, it could be important. I've got a meeting later, maybe they're the ones calling to talk about it." I explained, hoping he would release me this time.

And to my relief, he did. I was able to rush to my phone on my desk and bring it to my ear. "Yes, Kratos Aurion on the phone." I announced to the person I was talking to with a voice that betrayed no emotion. And by glancing at Mithos, I knew that such a thing inflamed him, if it even was possible.

"Yes, very well. I'll be on time." I hung up and put my cell phone back on my desk before turning towards Yggdrasil. "I'm sorry Mithos, but my meeting was postponed. I have to prepare now if I want to be on time." It could not have come at a better moment and I thanked the man I had just talked to a million times.

"I don't want you to go! I'll call him to tell him you'll be absent." He declared as a child would have done. I sighed and felt terribly discouraged. "Mithos, don't be like that. I seriously doubt that this provider would be happy that you cancel this important meeting for your next order." He seemed to think about it for a while and found no excuses. He could not harm the well-being of his organization simply for me, thankfully. "Fine!" He spat just like venom. "But don't think it'll end like that!" And on that, he left my room, slamming the door behind him.

I walked on shaking legs towards my bed and collapsed roughly on it into a sitting position, burying my face into my hands. What had just happened? I couldn't believe he had acted like that, I couldn't believe he had kissed me! I felt disgusted and the need to puke was almost present.

I heard the bathroom door opening and hasty footsteps coming towards me. A pair of soft hands came to rest on my shoulders and I looked at Yuan, who seemed to be worried and outraged at the same time. I got the impression he too was wondering how Yggdrasil could have acted this way, even thought he showed it differently. "Are you okay?" He asked me while staring at me and I nodded with a not too persuasive smile. "Yes. A little shaken, but I'm alright." I answered frankly. He still looked at me with worry, but accepted my answer with satisfaction, seeing that I wasn't hiding behind my usual mask. Then, his head turned towards the door and he glared at it. "That bastard! What the hell's gotten into him to kiss you like that? He's insane!" Insane? Yes, certainly, and I had known it for a very long time. What I didn't understand, though, was why Yuan seemed so furious about what just happened. Disgusted, I would have understood, outraged would have passed, but furious? No, I didn't understand the reason for his reaction. It was as if he was… "Yuan, could you be jealous?" I asked suddenly without really thinking, catching him unprepared for such a question. He looked at me with wide surprised eyes and I saw his cheeks redden with what seemed like embarrassment, but also fear and anger. "J-jealous, me? Where in the world did you get that idea? It's totally stupid!" He ranted quickly before letting his gaze wander over anything besides me. He let go of my shoulders and stepped back a little. "Well, I… I should let you get yourself ready, after all you have a meeting." I still looked at him with my usual impassible face and when he finally turned his head at me after having calmed himself, he looked at me with a frown. I understood straight away what he wanted and made a small amused smile, apologizing quickly before standing up to get some change of clothes. "I will let you go first. I suppose I can meet you back at your home tonight, right?" He nodded with relief. "Good. Then I will see you tonight." I was about to enter the bathroom, but Yuan stopped me. "Wait! Before I go, I have a favor to ask you!"

Intrigued, I faced him again. "Yes, what is it?"

"I need you to get me the list of the drug dealers who deal with Yggdrasil. But not anyone; only those who sell datura." I frowned at this request, not understanding why he wanted such a list. Then, I guessed one of the evidence the police found must have been datura. It was simply perfect! Datura was a rare drug and not many dealers sold it in Yggdrasil's ranks. It meant that it would considerably shorten our suspect's list!

I nodded with a satisfactory expression. "Very well. You will have it tonight." Yuan thanked me and left my room quickly, being careful not to be seen by anyone, leaving me alone to get ready.

At least we had a lead!

* * *

When I arrived in the office of the man I was going to negotiate with, I was surprised to see he wasn't alone. There with him was a tall man with turquoise blueish hair going down to the base of his neck. His red eyes where looking me up and down when I entered the room. Well… Or should I say his _only_ red eye, since his other one was hidden by an eye-patch as red as his iris. He displayed a professional smile, mocking and superior at the same time. I wasn't impressed, though, and walked to the man I had a meeting with. "M. Iguchi, I'm glad to see you again." I declared tactfully, shaking his hand. Iguchi answered me with a more friendly smile. "The pleasure is mine, Aurion." He answered before turning his head towards the man at his side. "I want to introduce to you one of my best colleagues, Forcystus Jeong." I had to refrain myself from jumping and lifting surprised eyes on the man Yuan had been trying to meet for a week now. I couldn't believe my luck right now. Thanks to him, I could settle the problem I had caused to Yuan!

"He's the reason why I called for your presence earlier this morning." Iguchi trailed on. "He couldn't come any later and absolutely wanted to meet you."

Forcystus reached a hand and I shook it while looking at him again. "Pleased to meet you, M. Aurion." He announced with a deep voice that immediately pleased me. He seemed to be a sincere man despite his illegal work. He would be someone with whom negotiating would be interesting. "Same here." I answered before sitting in the chair at my side. I put my elbows on the armchairs and intertwined my hands tu support my chin. "How about going straight to the point? Why did you want to meet me so much?" I asked, even though I thought I knew the answer.

"Well, I believe you must know at least a part of it. After the incident with Rodyle, I kind of got the impression that your organization finally has heard about me. I thought that hiding would be useless from now, especially knowing the talents of Yggdrasil's organization. Even more, I have to admit that the profits I could do dealing with your superior are really interesting. I thought it a good idea to contact you." It was truly perfect. I still couldn't believe my luck! Not only could I write a report for Yuan, but it was thanks to this man that I had been able to escape Yggdrasil this morning! "I see. Indeed, Yggdrasil has heard about you and was interested by these "revolutionary weapons" Rodyle talked about. He's curious to see what kind of weapon you have in your custody for him to never have heard about before." Immediately after I had done talking, he got out a pile of papers that he held out to me. On them were written the names of numerous weapons, pictures depicting each of them and a description about the manufacture and the utility of the weapon.

All, all of them were weapons I had never heard about before. And I was ashamed to admit that weapons were a field in which I had much knowledge.

I looked over all the papers, reading the descriptions of some of them, looking at the pictures of others, greatly impressed. How someone could have created such weapons without alerting Yggdrasil… "Can I keep these papers? I have the firm intention of showing them to my superior to see what he himself will think of these." Forcystus immediately gave me his permission with a fully satisfied smile and I folded up the papers, putting them in a pocket of my jacket. "Perfect. Yggdrasil will surely look at them in the next hours and contact you to plan a meeting with you." The Korean nodded. "Very well. However, I will not be able to meet him in the next week since I'm going back to Korea. On the other hand, I would be pleased to see him as soon as I will be back in the country." He stood up and presented me his hand for me to shake it. "Unfortunatly, it was all the time I had to give you. If you need some more explanations on the weapons, don't hesitate to call me and I will answer all your questions with pleasure." He was about to leave, but I stopped him. "Oh, before you leave, could I ask you a little favor?" Intrigued, he arched an eyebrow and stopped, pushing me to continue. "If Yggdrasil mentions this meeting, could you tell him you met his spy instead?" His expression changed from curiousness to incomprehension. "Why should I? If your spy was too incompetent and unable to find me, shouldn't you better fire him?" I sighed, retaining my irritation about the fact he had just called Yuan an incompetent. "He isn't incompetent, far from it. Unfortunately, it seemed like you had vanished into thin air last week." I faked a tired face. "What's more, if I was to fire him, it would be the third spy we would lose in a short amount of time. And not only does it take much money to avoid the Medias to discover it and for the investigations to stop, but it also takes a lot of my time. And God knows I don't have this kind of time right now." I explained. Because after all, we both knew that firing up Yuan would automatically mean his death. He formed a part of Yggdrasil's organization now and knew too much to get out alive.

Forcystus nodded, approving my point of view. "I can imagine. Alright, if he asks, I met his spy." And on that note, he finally left the room. If it wasn't for the fact Iguchi was still in the office, I would have sighed in relief. I sat back in my seat and turned my attention back on my guest. "And now, how about we talk business as well?"

* * *

I vaguely observed the list of drug dealers freshly printed, searching for a name that would have more of a signification for me, but none of them seemed close to Yggdrasil. There was the possibility that he had asked one of them to burn my house to avoid his organization and himself being under surveillance, but the probability of it happening was slim. Since these dealers were not so close to Yggdrasil, there were higher chances of them betraying him. At the end, I came back to my hypothesis that the murderer was someone other then those on the list. However, this list was still a good lead since it was certain one of these men had been a go-between for the murderer.

I sighed and folded up the paper before putting it in my jacket and closing my computer, leaving my office. I wanted to give this to Yuan as soon as possible with the report I wrote for him. I doubted he would refuse it, knowing that Forcystus was now in a plane going to Korea at this hour, but we never knew.

While I was walking down the hallways, I suddenly fell face to face with, I had to admit, one of the men I hated almost as much as my superior; Kvar. He was an old man with blond hair and eyes so small it seldom gave the impression they were closed. And when he opened them wide, it was a sight to scare almost everyone. Eyes completely black except for two small pupils. If I remembered correctly, an accident was the cause of these abnormal eyes. What it was, I didn't remember. But this accident had played in his behalf, since Kvar took great amusement in scaring people with them.

He bowed low before me. "Lord Kratos."

"Kvar." I answered and only nodded as a greeting. "It's been a long time since I saw you at the headquarters. Have you finished your mission?" I inquired with curiosity. Kvar always had the longer deadlines for his missions since he almost always had the most difficult ones. He was Yggdrasil's main spy and with reason, since he was his very first one. He and our superior had a close relationship. Not as close as Zelos or I had, but enough for Kvar to receive his missions directly from Yggdrasil, depending on the missions. It happened sometimes that I knew the main lines of Kvar's missions but not the totality of them, despite my rank in the organization. Yggdrasil was taking these precautions in case something happened. Since he had the most secretive missions, Yggdrasil wanted the details to be left in the dark as much as possible, in fright authorities would discover something. And since I had the position of the Saiko-komon, who was the most dangerous and the most known by the exterior world, I had in theory more chances of getting caught.

It was annoying me not knowing more on Kvar's missions since I could have more evidence against Yggdrasil. However, I couldn't do a thing about it.

Kvar nodded. "Yes, in fact, since yesterday. I've given my report to Yggdrasil, so there's no need to be worried." Like I cared. If all the misfortune of the world could befall on him, believe me, I would be more than happy. "I see. Then I have nothing more to add." I was going to leave the headquarters to go to Yuan's apartment, but the spy's next words stopped me.

"Oh, I think I need to offer you my… most sincere condolences." He declared in an unctuous voice, staring at me with his small eyes. "Yggdrasil told me about your… little love affair."

Why wasn't I surprised that he knew about it? But despite that fact, I was in a terrible anger. His condolences? I couldn't care less about them, especially since I knew they weren't sincere. And I knew he was mocking me. Despite it all, I kept my mask in place and looked at him with a bored expression. "I don't know what you're talking about, Kvar. You should go back to work instead of saying such nonsense."

"He was right, then." I arched an eyebrow, not understanding the meaning of his words. "As well as betraying our superior, you still continue to deny the truth. And yet it seems clear to me that if you were to admit it and try to redeem for your mistake, Yggdrasil would be more than happy to forgive you." He shook his head softly with what seemed discouragement. "What a waste…" All this was utterly ridiculous. Did he seriously think that I wanted Yggdrasil's forgiveness? All I ever wanted was to make him pay for what he had done to me. All I ever wanted was to get out of this hellhole and never to return so I could forget once and for all this dark past that was mine. If Yggdrasil forgave me or not was of no concern to me. Anyway, whether my actions were treacherous or not, our superior would always have an obsession towards me and would never let me go. So was there really a necessity to earn his forgiveness? "If you say so." I answered plainly while shrugging, showing that his words weren't interesting me. "However, I know for a fact that forgiven or not, Yggdrasil needs me. Further more, I have no need to ask for his forgiveness. What is done is done and I'm suffering the consequences. Isn't that better?" A mocking smile dawned on Kvar's lips. "Yes, I suppose it is a good thing."

I sighed before replying. "In any case, I don't have to receive criticism from you, and even less to feel bad about it. So, I'm going to wish you a good day, Kvar." And without waiting for an answer, I turned away to get out of the building.

* * *

I entered to small apartment, taking off my shoes while calling my friend's name. "Yuan?" The door had been unlocked, but I wanted to make sure he was really there. It had been too long since I came here and I wanted to ascertain I was welcomed again. My heart ached at the sole thought of Yuan rejecting me again, remains of my fears from last week, but I chased it away quickly when I heard his response. "I'm in the kitchen." A sigh of relief passed my lips and a small smile clung to them as all my fears vanished totally. I was back and for good, I was sure of it.

I walked to the kitchen only to find Yuan in a position I knew too well since I first met him; sitting at the table in front of his laptop, typing a report. How I had missed this view! It was incredible how much I had become attached at anything that related to Yuan.

I sat close to him without saying anything, staring at him for a while, enjoying our simple proximity. Then, seeing that my friend was looking back at me, wondering why I was being so silent, I decided to initiate the conversation. "How was your day?" I inquired curiously.

A discouraged expression replaced his concentrated one and he grumbled. "Honestly, I've seen better days. I can't find any clues that would give me the opportunity to meet Forcystus, and if I don't find him tonight, Yggdrasil will know you have lied!" He threw me a semi irritated gaze, the other part still discouraged. "What a wondrous idea having told him I would meet him tomorrow! Maybe it won't even happen!" Seeing him like that, I felt guilty for putting him in this situation this morning. Fortunately, I had a solution for him and a sympathizing smile replaced my guilty expression. Digging in the pocket of my jacket, I offered him a report written by me and the papers Forcystus had given me.

Intrigued, Yuan took them without a word and began to skim through them. Immediately, his face showed a disconcerting expression as he was taking notice of the foreign weapons. "What in the world…" His dumbfounded eyes lifted to gaze into mine, seeking explanations.

"My meeting this morning had been postponed because Forcystus had wanted to meet me. He knew Yggdrasil was aware of his existence now and he wanted to deal with us. He then gave me this." I said while pointing to the papers containing the weapons information. "And I also took the liberty of writing your report. I didn't give it to Yggdrasil, I wanted your agreement first and you will be able to modify it to fit your handwriting." I explained and saw his expression change to relief. But it was soon replaced by outrage. And I thought I knew the reason. After all, he had sought Forcystus for an entire week without a single clue to find him and I had met him this morning by a twist of luck. It really was unfair to him.

"And there's really no way I can meet him tonight?" He asked in hope of regaining his loss of face. I shook my head. "He was going back to Korea this morning." He sighed at my words and nodded again. "Very well. At least, I'll have something to give to Yggdrasil. Thank you." He continued to detail the papers I had given him before I caused his attention to turn on the new paper I was holding out to him.

The drug dealers' list.

He quickly let go of what he was holding to take it and studied it with much interest. I noticed now that he was caring much more for his investigation than for the reports he had to give to Yggdrasil since he was already typing the names on his laptop and searching for information. "Is there a probability that one of them is the culprit? I mean to say if there is one that is fairly close to Yggdrasil for him to have asked him to commit the crime?" He asked in case I knew the answer.

I shrugged. "If really one of them is close to him, I'm not aware of it. What I know, however, is that there may be a chance Yggdrasil ordered one of them to do it. After all, what is better than giving the job to someone who is the less related possible to him, dragging less evidence with him?" Yuan agreed, understanding my point of view. "However, if we catch the culprit and he's someone on this list, there's the possibility he'll betray him with more ease. Well, it _would_ be the case if he wasn't close to him. And I don't think Yggdrasil is as stupid as to take this kind of risks, right?" He continued for me and I nodded, happy to see we were thinking alike. "Exactly. That's why I'd like to think that the dealer is only a go-between the crime and the murderer."

Yuan seemed to approve since he wrote our hypothesis, surely to remember it and to help him when he would have more information. He turned towards me again. "Then, is there something else you know that could prove useful?" I searched in my mind, but didn't find anything else. "No, I think that's all." He seemed thoughtful, his gaze lost in his computer screen for a short moment before going back to work, ignoring me at the same time. Deciding to let him work, I took the initiative to make us food, doubting Yuan had eaten yet.

When I finished, I put a plate next to him and began eating my own meal after sitting back next to him in silence. He was so concentrated on his task that he didn't notice anything. I was halfway through my meal that he still hadn't begin eating. I arched an eyebrow reproachfully. He had to eat if he wanted to keep his strength to work! "I know you keep your work at heart, but that's no reason to let yourself die of hunger." I exclaimed softly, a pang of scolding in my voice. He jumped and finally turned his head towards his full plate, then lifted his eyes on me. "You're right, I'm sorry." He answered with shame and began to eat, taking little mouthfuls and returning to work in the meantime. I sighed, disappointed that he wasn't talking to me, but I didn't want to annoy him either. I finished my meal, lost in my thoughts, wondering what Yuan had done in the last week.

It was then that I noticed I had been staring at my empty plate for a while now. I surely looked strange and felt immediately awkward. I lifted my eyes on Yuan, hoping he hadn't seen me like this, only to notice he was as absorbed as before and his plate was almost full. I frowned and scolded him again. "Yuan, what did I just say?" I got the impression of scolding a child, but I wasn't to let him skip a meal. It simply wasn't healthy.

He jumped again and turned towards me with a shameful smile. "Oh I'm… I'm not hungry. I'm sorry. I know it's a waste, but I don't think I'll be able to eat anything more." I was immediately surprised. Not hungry? Even if he had almost not eaten? Worry made its way in me. I got up to stand behind him and I put the back of my hand on his forehead, checking for his temperature. My friend became instantly red like a peony. "Wh-what are you doing?" He exclaimed, disconcerted. I ignored him. "You don't seem to have a fever." I muttered as I was pulling back my hand. "Are you sure you are feeling well?" I inquired of his health, more and more worried. He reddened even more. "Ye-yes, I'm sure of it. I'm fine, in perfect health!" He reeled off quickly, turning his gaze away on his screen as if he wanted to avoid the subject. I pursed my lips in front of such an attitude.

He was hiding something from me.

I observed him trying to concentrate himself on the task again, then my eyes turned back on his almost untouched meal. I thought for a moment, wondering what he could be hiding. And at last, a hypothesis formed in my mind, one that I didn't like at all. "Yuan, have you eaten today?" I asked with seriousness. He kept his eyes glued to the screen. "Y-yes, of course!" He answered with nervousness. I sighed. "What did you eat exactly?" I trailed on. "And I forbid you to lie to me." I warned him, my expression getting darker. He turned his head my way and I saw in his eyes that he was tempted to lie. Really tempted. However, he did not do it. Why, I had no idea, but I was grateful for that. "An apple… and a little bowl of cereals."

"That's all?" I couldn't believe it. Yuan had eaten so little? But why?!

He nodded, uncomfortable. "And this last week? Have you eaten more at least?" I hoped with all my mind. I so wanted for the answer to be yes, that only today had been a bad day!

"No, not really…" He admitted with shame while lowering his head, not daring to confront my gaze anymore. I stayed silent for several minutes, wondering what to say exactly. Had I the right to scold him? He was an adult after all and could take care of himself. But I was so worried… And if it had been my fault again, I would regret it bitterly.

"Why?!" I had only murmured it pass my lips, uncertain. But I wanted the answer. I wanted to know what had made him lose his appetite so much.

"I… think it was the fact of being alone again." He began, still not able to look me in the eye. "And I often had those freakin' headaches and the simple thought of eating was making me feel sick. I've lost the habit, I guess." This time he lifted his eyes on me. "And now that I try to eat, that it seems okay and that I would not be sick, I'm not hungry to eat at least half of it." It was a normal reaction, in fact, if he had not eaten much lately. "I understand, but Yuan, you have to eat more, absolutely. You can't go on like this, you will seriously damage your health." He nodded, knowing I was right and took another bite. He swallowed it but put back his fork in his plate with a grimace. "I really don't think I'll be able to eat more…" Knowing that he could be too stubborn sometimes, I decided it would be better if I took things im my hands instead of arguing with him for hours. I took his fork, picking it in a piece of meat before pushing it in his mouth. Straight away, the crimson shade that had invaded his face earlier came back in full force and he threw me a dark glance, forcing himself to swallow since he didn't have a choice. "Hey!! What's gotten into you?!" He exclaimed with a mix of furor and embarrassment. "I'm not a damn kid!" I merely shrugged at his answer, preparing myself to repeat my action. "Well, if you don't do the efforts to take care of your health yourself, I will consider that yes, you are indeed a _child_. And since I'm the adult here, might as well take care of you, don't you think?" I declared mockingly, that which cut him to the quick. He brusquely took the utensil from my hands before starting to eat by himself, which pulled a satisfied smile from me. My action had gotten the result I wanted.

Yuan quickly finished his meal and noticed it with awe before looking at me with mistrust. I smiled at him with amusement and took our two empty plates to put them in the dishwasher in silence. "What did you…"

"I didn't do anything." I cut him short. "You are the one who ate, that's all." My smile widened and softened. "Now, go back to work. I won't bother you anymore." Yuan, who had calmed himself, nodded. "Yeah, thank you."

* * *

I had been sitting in front of the TV for several hours and tiredness was now weighing heavily on my shoulders. I closed the screen before standing up and stretching my sore muscles. Now that the television was closed and that silence had taken over the room, I noticed that I couldn't hear the sound of Yuan's fingers typing on his keyboard anymore. Curious to know what had stopped him, I went back in the kitchen, only to see him half lying down on the table, his head resting in the crook of his arms. Eyes closed, he was breathing softly, slowly, and I noticed he had fallen asleep.

A blush threatened to show at this view and I retained it quickly. I couldn't believe that seeing Yuan like that was making me react this way. And yet, I couldn't help but to find him adorable. His peaceful expression while he was sleeping was definitely what I loved most.

My hand reached itself for his hair and untied them to let them fall freely on his back like a waterfall. I took a long bang, caressing it, bringing it to my cheek and to my lips that were now displaying a tender smile. I was so fond of the softness of his hair.

Still not aware of what I was doing, I bent down and left a kiss on his temple. It was at this very moment that I left my torpor and I drew back quickly, horrified by what I had just done, hoping that Yuan wouldn't wake up.

How… how could I have done this? Why had my instinct manifested itself like that? I cared that much for Yuan?

No, impossible! It was simply impossible! I couldn't! Anna must be bearing a grudge against me, she must be furious by what I had dared do after so little time. I was abominable…

But even so, I surprised myself by thinking all was against me, that I couldn't help myself. Yuan was so important to me, I didn't want to lose him ever again. Wasn't this a way to say that I…

…loved him?

Yes, I loved him. I loved him more than anything in the world. It was too late to go back, I realized it fully now. However, this would have to stay my secret. In no case should Yuan know. Because I didn't deserve him. I smiled a bitter smile. Effectively, I didn't deserve him in the least. Yuan was pure and true, an upholder of the law if I could say so. I, on the other hand, was nothing more than a villain with tainted hands. To love him and have him for myself meant to dirty this purity, a thing I would never allow to happen. Especially that if something where to happen between us, Yggdrasil would be furious and would do anything to hurt him. Since he was already out of himself knowing Yuan had come late yesterday night to see me, I can't even imagine what would happen if there was more.

And if Yuan became aware of my feelings, who knows what reaction _he_ would have? He would surely reject me. What stupidity to love him. We were just friends!

Still, an egoistical part in me made itself more and more present. I wanted to feel him close to me, into my arms. For now, he was sleeping, he was exhausted, there was little chance of waking him up. So I might as well take advantage of it a little… I wanted to keep him close to my heart, nothing more. There was nothing wrong about it, right?

I closed Yuan's laptop, saving his files in the meantime. Then, leaving his worktool on the table, I lifted him in my arms, hugging him against me, observing his peaceful expression before walking to his bedroom, putting him down on the bed. It was out of the question for him to sleep again on the sofa when it was clear each other's presence was reassuring to the other. I had noticed earlier that my nightmares were gone with his presence near me and I think I could say the same for him. Surely not for the same reasons, though. Yuan had explained to me that he didn't like living alone. I imagined that anyone could do to calm his bad dreams, as long as they had some importance in his life.

Staring at his clothes, I debated inside before deciding to leave them on. He would already be confused to see we had slept in the same bed, I didn't want him to think we had done anything. This time, I really blushed at this thought, feeling like an old pervert, ashamed. However, I reassured myself by thinking never I would undertake an intimate relationship with him. Taking him in my arms when he was unaware of it was enough.

I tucked him in carefully under the sheets before slipping under too. If Yuan wasn't angry for this tomorrow morning, I swear that it would be the little pleasure I would be reserving for my egoism. It should suffice fully.

I sincerely hoped Yuan would not be angry at me. I had already done too many mistakes recently, I couldn't forgive myself another.

It was while contemplating him with affection that I successfully drifted to sleep, a smile on my lips, nightmares and fears far away.

* * *

**A/N : **There you have it guys! Kratos has finally realized his love for Yuan. Isn't that great~? This means the _real_ shonen-ai is coming :3

I really hope you liked this chapter! Personally, my favorite part was with Kratos feeding Yuan xD It just seems priceless~

I have to translate the next chapter, so I'll try to do it as quick as possible, but homework is starting to pile up a lot… I'll really try my best, I promise!

Thanks again for all your wonderful reviews and for reading this! We appreciate it so much!

See you in two chapters!


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **Once again, We're sorry for the long delay for the chapter. I don't have a satisfying excuse this time, so you can kill me if you want to repay you for the wait. (But in that case, you wouldn't get anymore chapters, so I guess you better not XD)

In any case, I hope this chapter will make up for the wait!

* * *

**Chapter 12**

I felt myself slowly waking up, but I had yet to open my eyes. I felt so good, without knowing the exact reason. Pivoting under the covers, I felt a weight on my waist that I wasn't able to identify, which intrigued me. I lifted my eyelids only to find myself face to face with a still sleeping Kratos. I froze, my mind trying to understand why,_ why_, I was _again_ sleeping in the same bed as Kratos, with his arm wrapped sloppily around my waist. And I couldn't find any explanation. I sat straight up, which ended up in waking Kratos in a start. I stared at him, feeling my cheeks blazing. What the heck had happened?! I was certain I'd fallen asleep in front of my computer last night... Kratos sat up as well, looking completely disorientated. Though he surely wasn't as much as I. I merely observed him without being able to utter a single word and I was certain my face bore a wonderful peony shade, which of course did not go unnoticed.

"Yuan? What's going on?" Kratos asked me as he yawned.

His question seemed to tore me out of my torpor and I avoided his eyes, ashamed of what I was about to say.

"We didn't... you know, do... _something_, did we?" I asked in an embarrassed voice, barely audible.

Kratos seemed to understand what I was implying since his cheeks reddened as well, although much less than mine. He shook his head quickly.

"N-no, don't worry, nothing happened. You merely fell asleep in front of your computer, so I brought you back in your bed so that you could sleep more comfortably." He explained hastily.

"Oh." I replied on a reassured tone, yet with a hint of deception.

Wait... deception?! I was _disappointed_ that nothing happened with Kratos?!! What was wrong with me?! Kratos was my friend, and he surely was not thinking of such things when I was concerned!

Kratos raised an eyebrow and stared at me. I understood he had caught the note of deception in my voice and it did not help me in regaining a healthier color. I was so confused with my weird reaction that I had to move away quickly from Kratos, in fear of doing something stupid. Well, even more stupid than asking such a _stupid_ question. I jumped off my bed and rummaged quickly in my wardrobe to find something to wear. I then headed for the bathroom and just before entering, turned myself towards Kratos, who was looking at me with a confused and dumbfounded expression.

"I... I'm going to take a shower." I simply said before shutting myself inside the bathroom.

Under the shower, I tried to clear my mind. I thought of the way I literally jumped out of bed, a behavior that must've hurt Kratos. He must be thinking that I was frightened from sleeping next to him, even worse, that I was disgusted!! But it was far from being the case... I merely was surprised and in my still dazed state of mind, I had been scared that something might have happened. But secretly, I think that... that I liked sleeping near him, that I liked finding myself in the warmth of his arms. Damn, what was happening to me?! I didn't have the right to think this way!! Kratos was the one supposed to need support; he was the one who'd just lost his family, not me!! I sighed in frustration, chasing away this train of unpleasant thoughts which would lead me nowhere. I didn't know what was happening to me and it frightened me...

I got out of my shower ten minutes later. Seeing that Kratos was no longer in the bedroom, I sought him carefully, praying not to act strangely in front of him again. I found him in the kitchen, in the midst of preparing breakfast. When he heard the sound of my feet approaching, he turned towards me, his face unreadable, but I swore I saw a flicker of pain in his eyes. I was right then. My strange attitude had hurt him. I sat at the table and tapped my fingers nervously on the table, avoiding his gaze.

"Kratos, about earlier, I... I don't want you to think I was disgusted or anything, I..." I stuttered, searching for the right words to express my idea, that in which I failed miserably. Kratos had ceased all movement, holding our plates in his hands and was looking at me with an intrigued expression. I sighed.

"Look, what I mean to say is, I don't mind us sleeping together. Hum, I mean... sharing the same bed..."

When I realized what exactly I was saying, I blushed even harder. Now I really had the sudden urge to hide in a dark corner, far from Kratos who lifted an eyebrow and threw me an amused look after the ambiguous things I had said. What was wrong with me, why was I acting so stupidly today?!

At this precise moment, someone knocked loudly on the front door. I startled softly, wondering who it could be at this ungodly hour, but it was perfect timing. I walked rapidly to the door, happy to escape Kratos' gaze. I barely had time to open the door that a torrent of insults assaulted me while Botta entered the room in a fury.

"Do you care to explain why you didn't answer my calls in more than one week?! Maybe you thought I wouldn't worry? Is there nothing in that little brain of yours?!?" His furious voice echoed loudly in the small apartment.

I backed away from Botta unconsciously, too shocked to answer anything as he still spilled out enraged words. I had never seen him in such a state before. It was scary.

"I even had to ask Bryant about you and he refused to tell me what happened at Rodyle's place! He said it was only up to you to tell me!!"

When finally he stopped talking, it took me a long time to recover enough from my shock and regain my voice.

"Hum, good morning to you too…" I whispered, not finding anything better to add after his spurt of anger.

This seemed to fuel his anger even more. He opened his mouth to speak again, or rather to yell again, but his eyes suddenly shifted to something behind me. I turned around only to see Kratos standing close to me. He was staring at Botta and his face wore a discontent expression. He didn't seem to have liked hearing Botta yelling at me even though I had deserved it for having ignored his calls. Botta looked back at him without hiding his surprise.

"What is Kratos Aurion doing here?" He asked me with disbelief without dropping his gaze from him.

"He's living with me now. I thought I told you…" I hesitated, feeling nervous, stuck between my two friends.

Botta's gaze wandered between Kratos and me with a stupefied expression.

"You mean to tell me you are…" He began while throwing me an intent look.

When I understood what he was implying, my cheeks burned again and I rapidly shook my head.

"No, it's not what you think!! I'm only providing him shelter, we're not…" But I didn't finish my sentence. While I was refuting Botta's misunderstanding, my gaze shifted to Kratos and the emotions that went through his eyes didn't go unnoticed to me. I saw deception. And pain. My eyes never left him as he turned away and disappeared in the kitchen. He reappeared soon after, a lunchbox in his hands. He stopped near us, his expression void of emotions once more.

"I will let you discuss in peace, I have to go to the headquarters first. I have to give your report to Yggdrasil before he gets too impatient. Oh and Botta, that's your name, right?" Kratos asked while turning to face fully my old friend.

Botta only nodded, surprised that Kratos knew his real name.

"Can I count on you to make sure Yuan eats this morning?" Kratos asked in a tone that couldn't be more serious. Botta looked at him like he was insane before agreeing slowly, without understanding.

"Good. I'll see you later, Yuan." Kratos added in a softer tone, casting me a last look before leaving the apartment.

It all happened so fast that I didn't have the time to react in any way. I should have been offended by the fact he had asked Botta to keep watch on me like this, but I was more preoccupied by the pained expression that crossed his eyes. I realized that some of the things I said must have hurt him. But what? Was it because I said I was only putting up with him? It was probably that. I only said that because I was panicked and I wanted to refute what Botta had insinuated, I wasn't thinking what I said. Kratos was now an integral part of my life and I didn't want him to be only transient, even if it was totally stupid. I had no right to hold him up. After this investigation meets its end, he would probably go his own way to start a new life. I didn't know why, but this thought tore my heart apart. As egoistical as it was, I didn't want him to leave me, to let me bask in my loneliness again.

Botta cleared his throat and this sound got me out of my reverie. I turned towards Botta with an inquiring expression. The latter threw me a confused and surprised look.

"What was this all about?" He asked, turning his gaze on the door and I understood he was talking about Kratos. I sighed at length.

"Don't worry about it. So, are you finished yelling at me? Because if not, I think it would be more productive for me to go back to sleep." I grumbled unpleasantly, having the instinct the rest of the day wouldn't go better.

"I'll be finished yelling only if you tell me what happened." Botta demanded in an authoritative voice.

I sighed again and went back in the kitchen. I sat at the table and eyed my breakfast critically. Botta joined me and followed my gaze. I knew he was wondering why Kratos had asked him to keep watch on me. I sighed again. I didn't want to eat, but it seemed I was forced to do so. I started to eat, telling to Botta all that happened at Rodyle's place in the meantime.

* * *

When I finished my tale, without hiding any details even though I would have preferred to forget them, Botta kept silent for a while, his hands intertwined on the table, his gaze lost in my empty plate.

"So that's what happened. No wonder you didn't want to talk about it. But still, you really impress me." He whispered thoughtfully.

"Huh? Why?" I asked curiously.

He lifted his head and looked straight in my eyes with a deadly serious expression.

"You changed, Yuan. Not so long ago, you wouldn't have been able to accept and forgive such a gesture." He explained and I frowned. I had changed? While thinking back on it, it's true that I had never been able to forgive easily such a betrayal, but I had been able to, with the precious aid of Presea. I would have to thank her the next time we met.

"I don't know, I… I don't think I would be able to forgive anyone _else_. I don't know how to explain it." I said slowly and a knowing smile dawned on Botta's lips. I threw him a cautious look.

"Why the half smile?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

At this, my friend laughed softly and it irritated me. Would he finally tell me what he found so funny?!

"You are so close to your feelings, you let yourself get driven so easily by them that you can't even see them for what they really are." He told me on a regretful voice.

I looked at him with confusion, without understanding his words. Or rather, I didn't want to understand them. My heart began beating faster.

"…What do you mean?" I whispered while throwing him an intent look.

Botta sighed in annoyance and bent over the table, hitting softly my forehead with two fingers. I pushed his hand away brutally, annoyed. Getting me angered seemed to amuse him since he smiled again.

"Damn it, Yuan! It's obvious even for me what Kratos is for you! You are the only one that doesn't realize it!!"

I stayed speechless for a moment, absorbing his words, the same as Bryant. What was with them all, meddling into what didn't concern them? What was between Kratos and me only concerned the two of us. No. There was _nothing_ between us. We were only friends, nothing more. Well, I tried to convince myself of it, but it was difficult. I avoided Botta's burning gaze.

"I… I don't know what you are talking about." I avoided the subject. I was too scared to confront my feelings, too scared to see what was awaiting me beyond the cliff. I hated Botta right now for trying to force me to jump. He shook his head sadly and his gaze darkened.

"You should stop lying to yourself. It's time you start to live again, Yuan. Martel wouldn't hold it against you." He whispered with conviction.

His words brought me back to a time of my life I would have preferred to keep buried in the deepest part of my heart. To the time when, to forget my bottomless suffering, loneliness and desperate sadness of having lost the one I loved most, I had sought comfort in the arms of complete strangers, either men or women. To the time when I thought that dirtying my body like this would help me forget the bloody wound of my heart. But this alternative only tore me apart even more as I had realized it couldn't fill the heavy void inside of me. I had come to understand I had to mourn my deceased wife before being able to heal, before being able to go on with life. Botta had been there for me in these difficult times, supporting me, giving me the courage to continue, accepting all my faults and my egoistical whims. I owed him so much!! He knew me better than anyone, even better than myself.

Botta's heated gaze pulled me back to reality. I got on the defensive straight away.

"I know that, but I repeat there's nothing between me and Kratos! You got it all wrong!!" I replied harshly, defying his gaze. A gaze that saddened as he stood up. He went round me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder, leaning in to look closer at my face.

"You can always continue to deny it, but don't let go of an occasion to find happiness a second time. You are free to follow my advice or not, but you know deep down that I'm right." He said with confidence, squeezing my shoulder gently before releasing it.

I heard him move away and soon, the front door opened and closed softly. When I was alone in the silence of my apartment, I collapsed on the table, hiding my face in the hollow of my arms. Botta's words were skewering me without mercy; trying to break the dam I had willingly placed around my heart. I was scared, so scared!! Scared to love again, scared to let myself be loved, scared to be hurt and broken once more. Because I knew that this time, I would not be able to take it. My strong personality was only a clever facade to protect my too fragile heart. It wouldn't bear to lose someone precious again. What I didn't realize, though, was that even if I denied what my heart desired, there was no turning back now…

* * *

Later that morning, after I had regained some assurance and pushed back this morning's events at the bottom of my mind, I went to Yggdrasil's headquarters. I was certain Kratos had already given him my report and I wanted to know what my next mission would be. And more, I wanted to apologize for having hurt him earlier. But on the way to Kratos' office, I almost ran face first into a red haired teenager. I stopped at the last second and recognized the teenager as the one who had guided Botta and me in front of Yggdrasil that famous day when I had begun the investigation. He too stopped in his tracks and looked at me with a mocking smile, his gaze haughty.

"My, if it isn't our little newbie spy." He said with a malicious expression and the first impression I had of him only got stronger; He was really grating on my nerves. I stared at him with cold eyes.

"And who might you be?" I asked brusquely.

This didn't unruffled the teen. His gaze became even haughtier, if it really was possible.

"Zelos Wilder, Yggdrasil's second lieutenant." He announced with pride, as if he was waiting for me to appraise him for this position, which I didn't do of course. I displayed a mocking smile of my own, folding my arms on my chest.

"I see. So you're a subordinate of Mr. Aurion, if I got it right?" I said in an amused tone.

His reaction didn't wait. His eyes threw sparks at me and his smile fell for several seconds before returning with a vengeance.

"Talking of _Mr. Aurion_, Yggdrasil doesn't really appreciate when people hang around his toy." Zelos said in a satisfied tone, observing my reaction closely.

I froze, glaring at him. I really didn't like where this conversation was going.

"Oh really? And what do you mean by that?" I asked brusquely and coldly. Zelos approached me nonchalantly. He put a hand on my shoulder and leaned towards me to whisper in my ear.

"Stop playing innocent. I saw you coming in his room two days ago, late in the evening." He revealed with amusement and I quickly backed away from his grasp. So it was him! He was the one who had said everything to Yggdrasil, who had fueled his anger!! I had the sudden urge to hit this insolent teenager, but I retained myself reluctantly. It would be a way for him to run to Yggdrasil so that I would be punished. Instead, I clenched my fists in fury, glaring at him. I really wasn't in the mood to put up with him now.

"I had to talk to him concerning my report, is that so hard to believe?" I said slowly, fury tinting every word. Zelos chuckled darkly, completely ignoring my anger.

"We both know it's not the truth." He sang, trying to make me react.

I tensed at his words. No, not another one. What was wrong with them all today?!

"I don't know what you're talking about." I denied his insinuations. Zelos's mocking smile widened even more.

"Oh, I think you know, on the contrary. Just let me give you a small advice; you shouldn't fall in love with Kratos, or you'll seriously regret it." He whispered in a dangerous voice before walking by me and strolling away, without giving me a chance to react or protest.

When he was a few feet away from me, he stopped to talk one last time.

"You're free to follow my kind advice or not. But one thing is for sure; I will love watching you two suffer…" He admitted while laughing cruelly.

I turned back sharply in his direction only to see him moving away, still laughing. My entire body shook from fury and rage. I leaned on the wall and tried to calm my boiling anger. Zelos… He was so hateful!!! How could he meddle like this in matters that didn't concern him and take so much pleasure in the pain of others?! His last words came back to my mind and the thoughts I had tried to bury deep in my mind only came back stronger than ever. Falling in love with Kratos… was it really what I was doing?! Of course I knew the answer. But I still continued to ignore it. I didn't want to face what would result of the acceptation of my feelings. I wasn't ready for it.

* * *

When I had calmed a little, I walked to Kratos' office that was only a turn away. I knocked softly on his door and waited for him to motion me to enter. When he did, I opened the door and saw him sitting at his desk, filling out papers. He lifted his gaze from his work and stared at me, his face void of any expression.

"Kratos? Am I bothering you?" I asked carefully, avoiding his eyes most of the time. Kratos frowned in front of my attitude. He let go of his pen and stared at me attentively.

"Not at all, come in. Are you all right? You seem… strange." He asked inquisitively.

I closed the door softly and came to sit on the chair in front of Kratos' desk, finally looking at his face.

"I… I just crossed paths with Zelos a minute ago." I revealed a part of what was making me this nervous. The other reason was to find myself close to Kratos while my emotions were nothing but a confused mess.

An expression between anger and disgust crossed Kratos' face and I immediately knew he didn't hold the kid in high regards either.

"Tsk. I'm sure it wasn't amusing, knowing him." He muttered with a discontent expression.

"He still revealed that he was the one who saw me enter your room two days ago."

At my words, Kratos' fist collided harshly with his desk and I jumped.

"That bastard! I should have known. He's always putting his nose where he shouldn't!" He raged and I was left surprised to see him in that state of anger. I think it was the first time I was seeing him like this, except of course for the time he learned I had infiltrated Yggdrasil's organization. I waited patiently for him to regain his calm. Maybe it was strange to say, but I preferred to see him in anger than wearing no expression whatsoever.

"And what else did he say?" My friend inquired.

"_Just let me give you a small advice; you shouldn't fall in love with Kratos."_ Zelos' words came floating back to my mind and I turned my gaze away quickly, chewing nervously on my lip.

"Oh, huh… nothing really worth it. He just wanted to taunt me." I lied, but I wasn't about to tell Kratos what he had insinuated. It was even completely and utterly ridiculous that I was racking my head with this. I saw on Kratos' face that he was skeptical. He didn't believe me.

"… I see." He simply said without turning his gaze away from me. I felt the need to change the subject to escape from Kratos' burning gaze.

"So, did you give the report to Yggdrasil?"

The eyes of Kratos darkened and I knew something was wrong.

"Yes. He took this moment to entrust me with your new mission."

"…Seeing your face, I guess it's not something easy." I inquired nervously. Even with Rodyle's mission, Kratos hadn't bore an expression as serious as this one. He buried one hand in his hair, a sign that he was really unnerved.

"You're in the right. I don't know what Yggdrasil is thinking, but it's not a mission you'll be able to accomplish easily, in the deadline he wants!"

"Why are you saying this? You don't believe me able to do it?" I asked on an offended tone.

I got the impression he didn't trust me. Kratos threw me a serious glance.

"Yuan, the mission he wants you to accomplish is one that he should only give to Kvar, his better and older spy!! He can't possibly hope that you succeed so quickly!!!" Kratos lost his temper again. I took one of his hands in mine and squeezed it to calm him.

"Please, calm down and tell me what it is about." I asked softly, on a tone that indeed seemed to calm him.

"He wants you to infiltrate and organization called Origaki. This organization is in close rivalry with Yggdrasil's. Origaki has something that Yggdrasil wants, or rather _someone_. She is a genius scientist, one of their best trump cards."

With that, Kratos handed a pile of papers to me, with a picture on top. My eyes detailed the face of a young woman with hair as white as snow and blue eyes.

"This woman?" I asked, surprised to know she was a genius at her young age. She seemed in her early twenties.

"Yes. Her name is Raine Sage. Your mission is to persuade her to betray Origaki and if it isn't possible, to bring her to us by force."

"… You're right. It doesn't seem easy at all…" I admitted darkly.

"It really seems like he _wants_ you to fail or at least that you don't succeed in the deadline…"

I was thoughtful for a moment. It was possible, while seeing Yggdrasil's reaction when he learned I had come to see Kratos in the evening, that he would deliberately make me fail a mission. I hoped it wasn't the case.

"How much time do I dispose of this time?" I asked, carrying my gaze on Kratos once more.

"One week, like usual, but you'll never be able to do it in this amount of time! We don't have enough information." Kratos replied, sighing in discouragement. My gaze hardened.

"I will have to do it. Tell me all you know." I asked with conviction.

Kratos seemed surprised by my change in attitude. He intertwined his hands and began to explain the details of my next mission.

"Origaki is made of three main buildings. Here's the problem; we don't know in which one Raine is held, only we know for sure it's in one of these three buildings. One is a laboratory; the other is specializing in weapon's production and the last in drug dealing."

"But since she's a scientist, it's probable she's in the laboratory, right?" I suggested. Kratos seemed thoughtful for a moment.

"Maybe, but the laboratory is also the most heavily guarded, and it's possible they are expecting a move from Yggdrasil. It might be a trap. It would be wiser to begin with one of the other two."

I nodded. Kratos was right. If Origaki was informed a little, they would know Yggdrasil wanted the trump card he didn't already have.

"Is there something else I must know?"

"The other details are in these sheets I gave you." Kratos answered, his gaze traveling to the papers in my hand.

"I see… I better start today in that case." I said out load.

Silence then fell on us like a thick cover. I noticed Kratos was eying me strangely. I couldn't depict exactly what I was reading in his eyes, but I thought I saw uncertainty and… sadness?! It's true. I had hurt him this morning. I had to apologize. I bit my lip and turned my gaze away.

"Kratos, I want to apologize for earlier." I whispered on a tone of regret.

He seemed surprised to hear me apologize. He stayed silent, gently urging me to explain.

"I must have hurt you when I said to Botta I was only providing you shelter. I know it isn't an excuse, but I was confused this morning and I don't think what I said… I really want to believe you are living with me now and that it's not only for a fleeting moment…" I said sincerely my true thoughts, not having the courage to look at his face as my cheeks gained color once more. I missed the surprise that filled Kratos' face. When he opened his mouth to say something, the door of the office opened suddenly and I froze while hearing Zelos' voice behind me. I slowly turned to face him.

"Kratos, Yggdrasil wants to see you in his office right away. There's been a problem with –" He stopped in his tracks when he noticed me sitting in front of Kratos' desk. Straight away, a victorious smile made his way on his lips and he leaned nonchalantly against the door frame.

"Well well, it seems like you didn't follow my advice… Such a pity for you. For both of you, in fact." He said in a honeyed voice that angered me quickly. I stood up under the questioning gaze of Kratos who didn't understand any of Zelos' words and I walked to the teenager until we were face to face.

"I said earlier that you were wrong. And even more, it doesn't concern you. So you better shut your fucking mouth!!" I said slowly on a cold tone before passing rapidly by him in a dark anger. I had to get away from this bastard if I wanted to avoid hitting him in my anger. Just before turning the corner of the hallway, I heard him laugh before saying out loud; "He's got some temper, that's for sure!!"

* * *

I took almost the entire afternoon the look slowly through the information on Origaki. I learned that it was an organization competing with Yggdrasil's on many points. It seldom happened that they managed to obtain better contracts then Yggdrasil and the latter was surely annoyed highly by this fact. But what annoyed him even more were the inventions Raine Sage was constantly creating for them. And that's where my mission was taking place, a mission that would allow him to deprive Origaki of her knowledge and gain it in the same time. This organization was rooted at Kóbe, a city near Osaka. At the least, it wouldn't take me too much time to go there. Today, I was going there in a reconnaissance mission. I had to learn the more information I could on the functioning of their security before finding the best way to enter.

I arrived at Kóbe at the beginning of the evening and parked my car far away from Origaki's buildings. It wouldn't be wise if they spotted my car, since I would have to come back here for at least a week. I walked in the direction of my destination while going unnoticed. When I was close enough, I found a point of observation near the drug dealing building. I would start with this one.

I passed a long time observing the movements of Origaki's employees by the main gate, guarded by two men. It didn't take me much time to understand the functioning of the security. The men on guard duty were being relieved at each and every hour and never did the front gate stay unguarded. This would not facilitate my task.

It was near ten in the evening when I decided to quit for the day. I wouldn't learn more for now, seeing my tired state. The ride back home took me almost an hour. When I arrived at my apartment, I wasn't surprised to see the lights were all out. I didn't took the time to open them, having only one idea in mind; going to sleep. I walked silently to the bedroom and opened the door a little. I slipped inside the room and could make out barely in the dark the shape of Kratos sleeping soundly in my bed. I changed clothes rapidly and slipped under the covers; not thinking about what his proximity was giving rise to inside of me. I was far too tired for that. I could now see Kratos' peaceful face as he was sleeping. This sight was my last one before I succumbed to the darkness.

The next morning, I woke up before Kratos, despite the few hours I had slept. I took this time to prepare the breakfast, for once. Kratos was doing it a lot these last days, and it was only fair if it was my turn now. Soon, the coffee's fragrance invaded the apartment and I wasn't surprised to see my friend enter the kitchen with a yawn, still dressed in his night clothes. This picture made me smile and Kratos sat at the table, suppressing another yawn.

"Good morning. Would you like some coffee?" I asked softly, turning my head his way.

"I won't say no." He replied in a sleepy voice.

I filled two cups of coffee and put Kratos' in front of him on the table, as well as his breakfast. I sat in front of him and observed him as he began eating. I noticed with amusement that his hair seemed even more tousled than normal. Kratos seemed to notice I was staring at him since he lifted his head and threw me a questioning glance. I turned my gaze quickly away and took a sudden interest in what was in my plate, not wanting him to know I was looking too much at him. I wasn't really hungry, but I didn't want to suffer Kratos' wrath so I forced myself to eat.

"What do you have to do today?" I began the conversation, regaining the courage to look into his eyes.

"I have an important dinner with the minister of economy. After that, I have to collect the assassins' reports, as well as Pronyma's. Oh and there's an important weapon order that's due to arrive in the evening. I sincerely don't think I'll be able to come back early tonight." Kratos explained in a bored voice. He didn't seem to like the tasks that were given to him, and I understood him.

"Anyway, I'll probably pass a good amount of time at Origaki. I have to find a way to evade their surveillance." I said pensively.

I then thought back on the drug dealers list and how we were supposed to begin. The problem was that I needed Kratos' help and his day seemed busy enough without having the need for more work.

Kratos must have read on my face that something was troubling me since he asked me; "Is something wrong?" He inquired, examining my face closely.

"No, I was just thinking about the investigation, that's all. I don't think all the dealers can be found in the police's files, so I…"

"You need me to search in Yggdrasil's files for the others, right? Don't worry, I'll find a time to do it. This investigation means much more to me than this work, you know it." He answered with conviction and I replied with a smile.

Suddenly, the sound of a cell phone rang from the direction of my bedroom and I didn't recognize the ringing. It was surely Kratos' phone. He stood up mumbling and disappeared in my bedroom. Several minutes later, he got out, properly dressed this time. He took his mug of coffee and drank the rest in one gulp while fastening his tie. He seemed in a hurry, so I asked him; "Something happened?" Kratos answered me in a frustrated tone.

"Yeah. There's a problem with one of our weapon's dealer. I have to go take care of it."

"Oh. Then I guess I'll see you tonight." I said in a disappointed tone, standing up with our two empty plates to put them in the dishwasher. Kratos looked at me for many seconds as I turned my back to him. When I turned to face him again, his gaze seemed to soften.

"I'm sorry, I would have liked to stay with you longer to talk more, but I really can't."

I stayed stunned by his words, surprised, but also touched. It didn't take much time for my cheeks to redden, that which didn't go unnoticed.

"Yuan, are you okay? You seem flushed…" He asked, taking a step towards me.

I began to panic and I acted without thinking. I closed the distance between us, and putting my hands on his back, pushed him towards the entryway. Kratos seemed surprised.

"Yuan?! What is…" He began, confusion obvious in his voice.

"I'm okay, don't worry. You should go now, you've got something important to do, right?" I said and stopped pushing him when we were both in the entry. I backed away as he was turning to face me, lowering my head to prevent him from seeing my eyes.

"Yuan…" Kratos whispered my name and I was tempted to lift my face, but I retained this urge.

"Have a good day, Kratos." I replied softly, but on a tone that didn't want any reply.

Kratos wasn't satisfied, but he didn't add anything, except from wishing me a good day and leaving the apartment reluctantly. When I was left alone, I finally realized how stupid I had been. Simply because he had said he wanted to stay with me, I had felt deeply touched and nervous at the same time. Recently, when I was close to him, I couldn't think rationally and I was reacting strangely in his proximity. He must be thinking I was completely stupid now…

* * *

During the day, I sent the drug dealers list to Bryant, asking him to get me their contact list and all the pertinent information on all those in the police's files. Then, I returned to Kóbe to continue my mission. This time, I discreetly looked around the building, searching for other entryways than the main one, with the hope that one of them would be less guarded. My hope wasn't in vain. I saw another entry on the other side of the building, guarded only by a lonesome man. Where it was going, I didn't have a clue, but one thing was for certain, I would have to infiltrate by entering this way. I noticed that at one moment in particular, just before the change of the guard, he entered while leaving the door unguarded. It was maybe my only chance. I would have to come back tomorrow to verify if the same scenario would repeat itself.

I came back rather late to the apartment and was surprised to see Kratos wasn't home yet. I knew he would be back late, but not to this extent. At least, this would prevent me from feeling nervous another time. Since the episode with Rodyle, I wasn't myself when I was near him. To crown it all, Bryant, Botta and even Zelos were contenting themselves in thinking that I… loved Kratos. I didn't want to believe it, more so that I was persisting in denying everything. Even now, I was still denying it, without wanting to know the truth. I was nothing but a coward.

That night, I was barely aware of the time Kratos joined me under the covers. But I turned towards the new source of heat, nuzzling up against him the closer I could while pushing a sigh of contentment, not realizing in my half asleep mind that the source of heat was Kratos himself, who circled my waist to keep me close. Another sigh escaped my lips and I fell truly asleep.

I awoke alone in my bed the next morning, without any memory of the moment when Kratos had come back to the apartment. I was relieved to find him in the kitchen, doing breakfast. I noticed he had also gotten out a plate for me and I smiled at this fact. It was true he was taking care of me as much as I was taking care of him, if not more. I sat at the table and we exchanged a few words while we ate. I noticed that Kratos wasn't really talkative this morning and he was looking at me with eyes filled with sadness again. Why was he bearing such a look the last few days?! Had I hurt him somehow?! I didn't have time to ask him what was wrong that he finished his meal and wished me a good day, leaving the apartment rapidly like he was avoiding my presence.

For the third day in a row, I found myself watching over the drug smuggling building of Origaki. This time, I noticed again that the back entry was left unguarded for a few minutes, at almost every hour. It seemed like the shifting of the guard on this side was a bit weaker, that which was strange, but I didn't puzzled over it. It would probably take me one more day to certify if it was indeed the best way to enter. If it was effectively the case, I would infiltrate the next day in the night, the moment when I would be less likely to meet yakuza once inside. It would be easier to go on unnoticed. I just hoped Raine was being held in this building, because if I had to search all three of them, it was obvious I would run out of time.

I came back home relatively late once more and noticed that Kratos was already sleeping. Seeing how late it was, it would have been a good idea that I do the same, but I didn't want to sleep. Or rather be near him. I had the strange feeling that my proximity was hurting Kratos, even if that was completely stupid. He was acting perfectly normal until a few days ago. I kept thinking about it, but I couldn't find any reason as to why this abrupt changing in his attitude. Oh well, the same thing could be said about myself. Anyway, I contented myself in staying awake.

* * *

I was staring at my computer screen for a while now, opened on the file containing the meager information on Origaki, without really seeing it. My eyes distant, I was lost in confused thoughts, all turned towards Kratos. I didn't hear him arrive behind me and lean over my shoulder.

"Why are you still up at this hour?" He asked near my ear, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I started violently and turned towards him, my heart threatening to burst out of my chest. I glared at him.

"You scared me!! Don't ever do that again!!" I hissed, trying to regain a normal heart rate. Kratos gently squeezed my shoulder.

"Sorry. What are you doing?" He repeated, concentrating his attention on the screen. I turned my attention on my computer as I wasn't sure myself of what was displayed.

"Oh, I... I was looking over the information concerning Origaki." I stammered, suddenly nervous of Kratos' proximity. And to say I thought he was long gone to sleep...

Kratos stationed himself near me and folded his arms, looking at me severely.

"And how about sleeping a little?" He asked and I avoided his gaze. I didn't want him to see something was troubling me.

"...I'll go later." I murmured on an almost inaudible voice.

I didn't see Kratos' unhappy expression.

"Yuan." He said in a menacing tone. I swiftly looked up and threw him a defying look.

"What?!" I exclaimed on a more abrupt tone than necessary, unnerved that he wasn't giving up. This didn't seem to impress him.

"Must I remind you that sleeping is necessary for your health?" Kratos scolded me and I became irritated at his habit of lecturing me.

"I don't need you to remind me, thank you!" I retorted, a defying light in my eyes.

"Then stop acting like a child and go to sleep. What you are doing can wait tomorrow." Kratos replied calmly.

"..." I kept silent and I soon saw him sigh. A determined expression took hold of his face.

"Yuan, don't make me bring you in your room by force." He warned me with seriousness.

This sentence caused a wave of indignation in me. He believed he could force me?!

"Make me..." I dared him, my gaze darkening in anger.

It was enough for him. Catching my wrists, he pulled me on my feet with strength. Without leaving me the time to react, he lifted me off the ground and threw me bluntly on his shoulder, wrapping an arm around my waist to prevent me from falling. He gave a victorious smile.

"Too bad! I'm stronger than you are." He taunted me and started forward towards the room. As if I would let him do it! I started hitting his back with my fists and struggled like a maniac, unhappy to be treated as a mere potato bag.

"Put me down, you coldhearted man!!" I yelled and Kratos' smile only widened. He reached the room and was about to throw me on the bed, but I hadn't stopped my efforts for him to let me go.

"Stop struggling or I'll... Ahhh!" In my efforts, I made him trip and we both fell on the bed.

I had closed my eyes during the fall. When I opened them carefully, I literally stopped breathing. I was laying on my back, with Kratos on top of me, his hands on both sides of my head to prevent him from collapsing on me. His face was only centimeters away from mine... My breath short, I stared at his lips, that seemed so soft and inviting...

It's then that an uncontrollable urge invaded my mind, an urge that refused to leave me. _I wanted him to kiss me_. I wanted it so much; this thought was harassing me just like an obsession.

It was at this moment that despite my fears, despite my hesitations, I crossed the fearful abyss, finally confronting my feelings. I now knew something with certainty.

I loved Kratos. He had captured my heart the very first moment and it belonged to him now. And now, all my heart desired was to feel his lips against my own, to lose myself in his strong embrace, to drown myself in him until I felt nothing but _him_, until nothing mattered but _Kratos_.

I don't know how long we stayed frozen like this, our breathing irregular, our eyes lost in the others. It was almost unbearable. I wanted him to do _something_, anything but this atrocious waiting. My heart was beating noisily in my ears when I saw him slowly move his face closer.

But as quickly, he backed away and his weight soon left me. Deception seized me and I sat slowly as well, avoiding looking at him in the face. I saw in a glance that Kratos was doing the same. My friend was the first to break the embarrassing silence that followed.

"...At least I was able to bring you to bed. I hope you don't have the intention of protesting." He teased, trying to dissipate the uneasiness. I risked a look towards him, trying to hide the emotions I had finally come to accept.

"...You win. At least give me time to change. I'm tired of falling asleep in my daily clothes..." I muttered and turned my back on Kratos. The latter turned around as well, giving me some privacy in order for me to change. I quickly put on some night pants and a t-shirt and I slid under the covers, refusing to face Kratos. He soon slid under them as well and I could sense his eyes burning my back.

My breath had still not calmed down when I thought back at what had almost happened. In my head, at least. I smiled sadly as I realized that even if I finally and completely knew I loved Kratos more than anything in the world, he surely didn't hold such feelings. He had just lost his family, how could he love me?! How could I wish such a thing?! I was so selfish!! I was supposed to be supporting and helping Kratos, not fall in love with him!!

And yet, it was exactly what I had done. My heart was beating for someone who could never return this love, for someone who would never murmur my name tenderly, for someone who would never embrace me as if I was the most precious person in the world.

I knew all that and I knew I would suffer even more by staying near Kratos. But I wasn't able to do anything about it. He'd become so precious to me. My work was nothing now compared to him. If he ever came to go far away from me, a part of me would surely die.

I'd rather suffer than lose my reason for living a second time.

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **And now Yuan finally confronts his feelings!! What will happen to them both, now that they both discovered their feelings? Find out in the next chapter!! ( I'm doing advertising, it's amusing :p )

If you like the story so far, please bear with the wait, since what is to come will be even better!!

Much love to our fateful readers and reviewers!!


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N : **Hello everyone! Here's finally chapter thirteen! Sorry about the long time, I got so much work at school, it's hard to do both schoolwork and this story. Hope you'll all forgive me!

Thank you again to Little Rosebud for translating the chapter. We do not own Tales of Symphonia, just the story.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter**** 13**

I never would have thought that my selfishness would sadden me to this extent in the end. That the more I would try to satisfy it, the more I needed, making me suffer all the more. Even if I kept Yuan close to me when he was asleep, even if I observed him sleep until tiredness engulfed me and stroked his hair with tenderness, I still wanted more. I wanted to leave kisses on his face, his forehead, his _lips_… But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I would either wake him up and disgust him to the point where he wouldn't want to see me anymore or I wouldn't be able to control myself, that which would give the same result. I preferred to suffer in silence, which was also becoming more difficult as time passed.

It all became more difficult the morning he had acted strangely. All I had wanted was to show him even the slightest bit that he was important, precious even for me. What resulted of it was Yuan pushing me out of the apartment. At the moment, I had wondered why, but I finally understood that I certainly wasn't precious to his eyes as he was to mine. It made things so much difficult and painful… When I came back in the evening and had gone to bed, he had cuddled close to me in his sleep. And the only thought that came to my mind was that he was dreaming about Martel. It couldn't be anything else than that. I was only a convenient source of warmth, nothing more. I would never be something else for him. A friend, maybe a confident, but that was all.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him with something other than sadness the next morning. I felt that I couldn't smile at him, since my smile would have been nothing but fake, and I had promised him to always show what I really felt. Just thinking about the fact I would never have him was hurting me and I had difficulty hiding it. But it wouldn't last for long. I had to calm myself, to get rid of these feelings to not worry Yuan for nothing and not bother him with these stupidities. I didn't know yet how I was going to proceed. But I would find a mean quickly. I was an expert in this domain, after all.

Work had seemed to disappear that day. I had done almost everything important the day before, leaving me only a few things to do at my own displeasure. At the time I felt I needed it badly to immerse myself in it and forget everything else, it was abandoning me.

However, I remembered Yuan's request to go search for the files of the drug dealers, which meant trying to find all the pertinent information on them that he would probably not find in the police station. So, after I had finished my work, I did some research, looking at their profiles, the places they were going often, what they were mainly selling, as well as their clients.

However, while I was searching, I rapidly noticed that four of them had too few information written on them. And even after I searched deeper, the only thing I could find on them was the places they were more easily found into. It was really suspicious and I didn't like it. It almost seemed like Yggdrasil had deliberately erased the information on them without telling me.

I decided to highlight their names to remember it and to tell Yuan he had to take care of them first. Maybe he would find more information on them at the police station, but I doubted it. I would also have to do my own investigation. Yuan was already overwhelmed by the work our superior had given him, so I could try to help him a little. We never know; if I went to see Tabatha, maybe I would get more information.

I was back early at the apartment, only to see with heartache that it was empty and the lights were out. I knew Yuan was surely still at Origaki, keeping watch there to find a way to infiltrate. He would surely be there for the entire evening and maybe a part of the night, but I couldn't help but be disappointed by it. Because even if his presence was making me suffer, it was also comforting me.

I prepared myself a quick meal, not having too much of an appetite, and ate it quickly. I wanted to go out and take a walk, a thing I hadn't done in a long while. More so, it would clear my mind of its thoughts… Or so I hoped.

I walked slowly to the park, watching the families around me, the children running happily to the arms of their parents. I immediately felt nostalgic, since there was a time when Lloyd would have done the same thing… But he couldn't anymore. He had been cruelly murdered, depriving him of a life full with riches and happiness.

I rose my head to a sky where the stars where beginning to shine, but were still pale compared to the bright moon. I smiled bitterly, my thoughts turning to my family. I was sure Anna was terribly mad at me for abandoning her like this and that she would never forgive me. And to crown it all, I didn't know how I could be forgiven. Or rather, I didn't want to be forgiven. I loved Yuan so much now that my love for him had pushed back and repressed the love I had for Anna as far as possible. It was another reality I could add to my list of sins. I regretted it so much…

When the stars sparkled strongly in the sky, fighting the darkness of the night, I decided it was time to return to the apartment, with the slim hope that Yuan would be back this time. Naturally, I was disappointed and decided to go to sleep, knowing it would be more productive.

* * *

That night, I dreamed. Or rather, I had a nightmare. Because of the thoughts I had earlier, I was certain my mind was taunting me, taking a wicked delight in reminding me my regrets and my fears, since I saw a furious and crying Anna, blaming me of my infidelity. Only to add to the fact that I already felt bad about it…

"_How could you?!" She exclaimed, tears running down__ her cheeks as she was staring at me with hatred. "I can't believe it! You betrayed me! Your love for me meant nothing then? And Lloyd! What do you think he'll feel about this!"I couldn't do anything other than keep my head down, taking all the hurting words head on, having nothing to reply to this. I was at fault; I had done everything to get her mad. I deserved this. "I did everything for you and that is how you thank me? For a man?! A man that already hurt you more than I did!" She was right, in a way. I didn't think Anna would have acted like Yuan did after Rodyle's incident… But even so, I loved him. I loved him more than anything. He had forgiven me even if what I did was something he would never forgive normally. Wasn't this even more admirable?_

"_Didn't you fa__ll in love with him only because he resembles me? It's a mistake, then!" Anna exclaimed with insistence in her voice, as if she was trying to convince herself at the same time as me. She seemed to see that despite her hurting words, she wasn't able to bring me back to her._

_I shook my head at her last sentence. It was true that what had attracted me in Yuan at the very beginning was that he reminded of my wife, but I had learned to love him for who he was. I had learned to love his changeable character, to love his purity, to love his determination and taste for doing good deeds and help people. It was completely different._

"_In any case, you'll never have Yuan! You sincerely think he can love you back? Ah! Don't make me laugh! You're both men. A good enough reason for him to reject you, don't you think?" She had a malicious smile. "And you're a monster, after all!" Suddenly, her frail body transformed itself. Her simple dress became a white three piece suit and her short brown hair extended and paled to become blond hair. I was now looking into eyes as blue as the sky, Yggdrasil's eyes. "Never, never will I let you be someone else's. Anyone that will get between us, I will make him suffer like there's no tomorrow! I will revel in his cries of suffering, in his heartbroken pleas! And never will I stop until I know for certain he's dead. It's the fate that awaits our precious – or should I say _your_ precious little dog if he dares continue to approach you." I defied his gaze, my fists now tightly clenched and the need to punch him was strong now. "I will never let you! I will protect him!" I exclaimed, not ever wanting for Yuan to suffer. _

_Yggdrasil began to laugh. "Ah ah ah! You make me laugh, it's so funny! You think you can do it? You're not even able to face me directly, to confront me! I'm much too powerful!" His hands on his hips, his gaze was defying me with a mocking smile. A simple "Tch!" escaped my lips as I found nothing to answer. I really wasn't able to confront him. "Ah, I knew it! Your angel will suffer and you know it will be your fault. You don't deserve him, anyway. You're defiled and dirty, blood is covering you, you hurt so many people! But him, _him_, he's the embodiment of perfection, he's pure and untouched, nothing is more beautiful than him! How can someone like him love a monster? He would only be disgusted, don't you think so?" He burst into a cold, amused and cruel laugh. I had covered my ears with my hands, shaking my head, not wanting to hear anymore. I knew he was right, but I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want Yuan to hate me; just the thought was killing me! "You're mine only, Kratos, you belong to no one but me!" _

I woke up in a start, the loud sound of Yggdrasil's laugh echoing in my head, making me shiver. I still had goose bumps as I was trying to reassure myself, looking over the room to make sure I was really in Yuan's apartment. Yuan…

He would not suffer; Yggdrasil would never get his hands on him. I would do all in my power to keep him safe.

Suddenly, as I was fully awake, I looked at the hour on the clock and noticed my friend wasn't in the bed with me despite the late hour. Frowning and wondering if he was back, I saw light coming weakly from the door frame. If the lights were on, it could only mean that Yuan was there. But then, why wasn't he sleeping?

I got up only to find him in the kitchen, busy with his work. I scolded him with discontentment, wanting him to go to sleep. He had the nasty habit not to take care of his health, but he wouldn't go his way with me. As long as I would be living with him, he would have to correct them. I didn't want him to collapse of tiredness, for him to push himself too hard for his work. No matter if this work was the police's or Yggdrasil's.

In the end – and I saw it coming really – I had to use force once again and I dragged Yuan on my shoulder to his bedroom with a wide smile on my lips, genuinely amused. He had thought he would be able to avoid it by defying me… He couldn't have been more wrong!

As I was about to drop him down on the bed, his furious struggles to let me go made me lose my balance. I tried to catch him while keeping my balance, but it had only worsened the situation. Finally, he had fallen loudly on the bed, under me, his eyes closed as he was awaiting the brutal collision that would never happen since he fell on the mattress.

I had stopped my fall at the last moment. A little more and I would have crushed him under my weight. I opened my eyes and suddenly took notice of our positions. Our faces were only inches away and we could both feel the warm breath of the other. I could clearly see his beautiful emerald eyes as he was staring at me. I saw a swirl of emotions inside them, but I couldn't identify them. I was too focused on our positions, too nervous; my heart was beating like crazy, threatening to burst out of my chest. And if I didn't blush, it was only because my entire concentration was dedicated on it.

My gaze slowly lowered and stopped on Yuan's rosy lips. Lips that were softly opened from the shock, I guessed. They were so inviting! I would give anything to claim them as mine, to seal them in a passionate kiss! Besides, Yuan wasn't moving, he hadn't said anything… Maybe I could…

Softly, I began to reduce the distance between us to finally kiss him, but backed away quickly when I realized what I was doing and sat next to him. What was I thinking? I had almost let everything out! All the blame I would have gotten and the disgust he would have given me! I shivered lightly in front of my carelessness. I had to be more careful in the future. I couldn't slip out like this. After all, I had said so myself; even if my feelings were to be mutual, even though it would never happen, I had no right to make Yuan mine. I was nothing, I wasn't worth him. He would only suffer more with me… "At least, I succeeded in bringing you to bed. I hope you don't intend to protest anymore." I joked, trying to lighten the tension in the air and divert my attention away from the intense feelings in me that were threatening to burst out any minute. And even if my face didn't show it, I had trouble trying to calm myself; my breathing was still erratic and my heart was still beating madly.

I had turned around when he had accepted to stay and had gotten up to change himself, then I watched him come back and slip under the covers, keeping silent in fear of saying something bad. He didn't seem comfortable too and I understood perfectly. It was surely embarrassing to be trapped in such a position when you didn't have the same feelings. I understood well.

With a bitter smile, I laid back on the mattress, looking over the ceiling above me, having nothing better to do. I wasn't really tired now, not after what just happened. And more, I didn't want to have a nightmare like the one I had earlier.

So I waited for Yuan to fall asleep, throwing him side glances several times. When finally I heard his deep and calm breathing, when finally his closed eyes didn't seem about to open anymore, I rolled on my side and circled his waist softly, keeping him close to me, making sure I wouldn't wake him up. I kept him close to me and dropped a kiss on his forehead to calm my earlier need. "I'm sorry, so sorry." I murmured on a low tone. "You don't know how much." I caressed his hair with tenderness, a habit I had taken since a long time ago now. That's when sleep finally overcame me and I wasn't conscious anymore when Yuan cuddled closer against me while whispering a name through his lips. My name.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up before him again. It was fortunate since I took notice of how close our bodies were intertwined. I blushed slightly, telling myself I had surely pulled him closer in my sleep without noticing it. And it was halfheartedly that I untangled myself from him, but I had to. If Yuan was to wake up in this position after last night's events, who knows what he would do to me…

I got out of bed and walked to the kitchen to make some breakfast, suppressing a yawn. I didn't get much sleep after all, but Yuan had gotten even less. I should let him sleep more to let him recover. The week must have been long for him since trying to infiltrate Origaki was no easy matter.

I sighed, still furious after Yggdrasil for giving him this difficult mission. Why in the world did he not give it to Kvar, knowing he would have much more ease and would surely succeed? Did he really want Yuan to fail? It was totally absurd! Two weeks ago, he admitted being satisfied of Yuan's work…

Then, was he doing this because he was jealous of what was going on between us? I groaned while thinking this theory made sense. Really, Yggdrasil was doing everything to have me hate him more and more

I ate my breakfast quickly, and seeing Yuan still wasn't up, I put his plate in the fridge before going in the room quietly to take my clothes. He was still sleeping soundly. Good.

I changed in the bathroom before going back in the kitchen to write a note to Yuan.

_Good morning, Yuan._

_I'm already at work, I had to go early this morning. Your breakfast is in the fridge. Take the time to eat properly and to relax some more. I _don't _want you to tire yourself out, okay?_

_Have a good day!_

_Kratos._

I left the note on the table and was about to go in the entryway to leave, but an uncontrollable urge washed over me as I passed in front of the bedroom. I walked into the room again and approached the bed silently. I stroked his hair softly and kissed his temple while murmuring a "Have a good day, Yuan." before going away quickly without another word.

* * *

I entered Yuan's apartment and took out my shoes, closing the door behind me. The day had gone on and on, I was beyond tired, but the thought of seeing Yuan had helped to keep me in a good mood. I knew he was there since his shoes were in the entryway.

I wanted to know if he had had a good day, if he was able to relax some.

"Hello Yuan. How did –" I stopped dead in my tracks at the kitchen's doorway, my eyes wide with surprise.

It seemed Yuan had some company today. A man with long bluish grey hair with two bangs falling on his shoulders was staring at me with his grey and cold eyes, a bitter expression on his face. And even though he was only wearing a simple white button-up shirt and a pair of jeans, he had a natural elegance, like he had nearly no efforts to do to distinguish himself.

I was suddenly feeling uncomfortable and out of place. "I think I'll leave you alone…" I muttered, uneasy, on the verge of turning away to leave them alone. I didn't need Yuan to introduce the man next to him. Seeing his hard and severe expression, I guessed I was currently in front of his commissioner. Who else would glare at me this way, since it was obvious now he knew I was living here with Yuan. He was surely here to talk to Yuan about his mission, or something else in the same train of thought.

I was surprised when he talked. "No, stay. I want a few words with you." His voice was low, threatening even and I held back the need to swallow. However, I didn't let myself get intimidated. My impassible mask came back full force. It was out of the question that I showed fear, I would give him the impression I wasn't worthy of Yuan! And since when was I showing fear?

"Well, hum… If you need me, I'll be working in my room." Yuan declared while standing up. He threw me a quick apologizing glance before getting away rapidly, not able to bear the tension that was rapidly growing between his commissioner and I. My eyes followed him before switching to the men still sitting. I reached a hand. "I suppose you already know, but I'm Kratos Aurion, pleased to meet you." I introduced myself on an even tone. He shook it, but with more force than necessary, squeezing harshly as if he wanted to show me clearly he didn't like me and threw me a cold and forced smile. Unfortunately for him, it didn't impress me and I did the same, squeezing even harder with a small grin. "Regal Bryant." He answered simply.

We stared at each other like this for a long time, testing the strength of the other, and he finally let me go and I was able to sit in front of him. "So, what did you wanted to talk about?" I asked, still as impassible and cold as before.

He threw a side glance to the bedroom with its door closed. "Yuan, of course." He answered as if the answer was obvious.

Suddenly, the sound of rock and metal music played loudly and I recognized the group as Malice Mizer. I had heard about them a little on the radio, even though I was often changing the radio station when they played. They weren't my style at all.

Bryant and I both turned our heads towards the way the music was coming from with bewildered looks, that is to say from Yuan's bedroom. Was he… was he trying to drown our conversation to not hear what we were about to talk about?!

I knew Yuan was acting like a child… But now, he was crossing the line, he was going beyond what I ever would have imagined!

When my attention returned to Bryant, I could see he was as discouraged as I was. "The way I see it, I'm not the only one that thinks he's acting like a child." I declared with a lightly amused smile. He rolled his eyes. "It seems that we agree on that point." He put emphasis on the last part, wanting to make sure I knew he didn't like me and that it wasn't about to change. I nodded and waited for him to talk again. He was the one who wanted to talk anyway.

"So as I said, I wanted to talk about Yuan." He began. "I know he was the one who took you in, but you must already know I'm not agreeing with his decision, at all."

And with reasons. After all, who would be crazy enough to let a yakuza live with them? Well… no one besides Yuan, apparently. At the least, I had the proof there was someone reasonable in that police station.

Seeing I wasn't responding, he continued. "And surely you don't know, but Yuan is really important to me. Not only because he is the best police officer in our department, but also because I think of him as a little brother. He has already been shattered by his wife's death; I wouldn't want that to happen to him again."

I didn't understand the meaning of his words. What did he mean by that exactly? It was almost like he was insinuating that Yuan was… No, impossible. It was simply impossible, I was probably imagining things.

"But it's more what he did for you that displeases me." His words left me speechless. What did he mean by that? Besides offering me a place to stay, I didn't see anything else…

"What do you mean?" I inquired, still not understanding and trying to remember what could have happened.

"He didn't tell you?" Was his answer. Bryant didn't seem surprised, but he wasn't happy either. "I'm talking about the stupid mistake you made that he tried to correct! I'm talking about Rodyle's murder that _you_ clearly committed, but that Yuan had the indecency to try to mask as his own and at the same occasion, lied to me, his superior. He dared to put _you_ before his work!" As he was reproaching me my crime, I frowned and my eyes darkened dangerously. He had dared do _**what**_?!? Of all the things I didn't ever want to hear, of all the things I was refusing he do, this was one of them. So, Yuan had put me before his work? This explained the promise he had insisted on. But this meant only one thing; he was ready to do it again?! Could he possibly be even more stupid?!? I couldn't believe it! He had just gone down a new level of stupidity, a level I didn't think him able to go down to!

"The idiot." I hissed furiously, which seemed to surprise Bryant. However, he quickly took back his cold expression. "I see we are agreeing on another point. And unfortunately, I can't ask you to get out of his life as soon as possible since it would kill him, but I think we'll both agree to make sure you don't make the same mistake again. Because I dare believe you are aware that Yuan would lose his place in the police forces." I grumbled while nodding, too furious to detect the insinuation in the commissioner's words. Yuan would hear about me later; that was for certain!

"Like I said before, Yuan means a lot to me. So if I hear you did another mistake in the like, or even worse, that you hurt him even the slightest bit, I swear I'm going to seek you the second I hear about it to throw you in jail, am I clear enough?" He hissed in a low tone and I needn't more proof to know he was serious. And despite the insinuation that was still present in his words, I was too furious and concerned by Yuan's stupidity to notice it. I sighed softly. "I wasn't aware that he had done such a thing and if I had known, I assure you I would have stopped him. But I learned since this incident and I assure you I won't commit such a crime in the future. Anyway, I have promised it to Yuan." The commissioner wasn't satisfied, but the fact I had promised it to his officer seemed to calm him a little.

"I hope for you, and mostly for Yuan, that you're telling me the truth." He stood up, still staring at me with his cold gaze. "Well, it was unfortunately all the time I had with you, I have to go." Unfortunately? Oh, maybe he would have liked to yell a little more at me. I nodded simply and he turned his attention back on the room where the music was coming from. "I think he's… too busy at the moment. Tell him goodbye for me." His tone was a little softer, a strange contrast with the coldness he had just shown me. "I'll make sure to tell him." And it was with thanking me absent-mindedly that he left the apartment, letting me blow a relieved sigh. I was definitely uncomfortable in his presence and with reason. However, I think I was able to show him I could take good care of Yuan. Well… I hoped.

My thoughts going back to Yuan, my mood darkened straight away. I still couldn't believe what he had done. Putting his work on the line only to have me avoid prison? I was a criminal, for God's sake! Didn't he understand that already?

Looking at the closed door, listening distractedly to the music, I waited. I waited for him to finally stop it, checking if we were still talking and if all was silent. I waited for him to poke his head out of the door to check if we stopped talking and to notice Bryant was gone. And I waited for him to get closer to me with silent steps, his face uncertain. "Bryant is gone?" He asked softly, somewhat worried, certainly because of the things that were probably said between his commissioner and me. "Yes, he says goodbye." I muttered in a cold and harsh tone. This alarmed him and I saw him frown. "Kratos? Is there something wrong?" Now these were the words I was waiting for. Yuan was going to regret this…

"Oh no, everything is all right. Can you sit down? I have something I need to talk to you about." I said in a calm tone while motioning to the chair in front of me with my hand. Slowly, he did as asked, his worry still present. Even, it seemed to worsen. "Are you… sure you're all right? It seems like you two have talked about something that didn't please you." I stared at him with a light almost harmful in my eyes. "On the contrary, it was really entertaining. He told me something I would have liked to know sooner." And before letting him time to answer, I suddenly raised my voice. "_**Can you tell me why in the world you put Rodyle's murder on your shoulders?!?**_" He jumped when he heard me raise my voice and his eyes widened. "I can't believe that you even _thought_ about such a thing, even less _doing_ it!!" I had stood up this time, looking at him from high up, putting my anger even more terrifying.

My bout of anger seemed to irritate him since he retorted straight away, frowning harshly. "What are you saying?! All I wanted was to pro –" He stopped dead in his tracks and jumped again when my hands banged violently on the table. "You will _shut up_ and let _me _talk!" I hissed dangerously between my teeth and it seemed like he was shrinking in his chair, his eyes suddenly terrified. I rarely burst out in rage, even less with this much aggressiveness. And the time Yuan had seen me like this was nothing compared to what I was feeling right now. I think he knew it perfectly, since he only nodded at my order, not daring to reply, a thing he had gotten the pleasure to do the last time.

"What were you thinking?! I committed a murder, I killed him!! And the only thing you thought of doing is having the indecency to lie to your commissioner?! Dear God, Yuan! Must I remind you that I am a _criminal_! That's the more reason why you _shouldn't _protect me, even less in that way! You could have _lost_ your work!!" I angered more and more and I wanted to hit and break something. This rage was the one I had kept inside me for far too long now and it was now bursting out because Bryant's words and Yuan's actions had been the last straw. I knew it was unfair to let all these feelings of hatred and aggressiveness pour onto him only because what he did was too much, but I couldn't retain myself now and I wouldn't calm down until he had a go at it.

"And since when is your work so less important than me? _Our relation was strained at that time_!!!" I added while hissing with aggression, leaning over the table until our faces were very close to each other. "If you had even a little bit of good sense, you should have denounced me!" I was throwing all the apologizing words he had said to me out of the window, right? I was mocking his forgiveness towards my action, right? And still, I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't control myself. I would surely regret it bitterly afterwards, I could be sure of it.

Yuan turned his gaze away with a saddened and upset expression. "All I wanted was to pro –"

"To protect me? Ah! Don't make me laugh!" I gave a forced laugh without a single trace of emotion in it and when I stopped, I was smiling. But it wasn't the kind of smile Yuan was hoping to see. It was a demented smile, the one I had reserved to Rodyle, only less scary. "You know that if your commissioner hadn't accepted your lie, more than not having been able to help me, you would have lost your work! And how could you possibly hope to help me in that case?!" He winced and I knew I had attained the point of nastiness. And still, I wasn't able to calm down, to stop myself! "Didn't you learn to think before acting?!"

He stood up in a flash, his gaze still away from me. "Yes, and that is precisely why I tried to protect you." He muttered on a hurt tone as he lifted furious and disgusted eyes on me. This had the effect of a cold shower on me and I felt my heart stop. How? How could I have been so mean and cruel? Why did I go so far?

Without another word, he slipped out of the kitchen. I reached a hand towards him, like I wanted to catch and stop him. "Yuan, wait! I'm –"

The door of his bedroom slammed shut, almost making the apartment shake with its sheer force and my hand fell down as I dropped my head with shame. "… Sorry." I finished miserably in the complete silence of the kitchen. What had I done? I had just angered Yuan and it wouldn't be easy to be forgiven now…

I couldn't believe how much I had let myself be driven by the demons of my past. Never did I let my anger run wild, knowing perfectly that if I did, I would react like in the old days, when I was someone cruel and without mercy. Even Yggdrasil nor Anna and especially her, hadn't seen this side of me. Not even in a little bit of anger. But it had been the third time in front of Yuan. Why? What was inside him that was preventing me from keeping control of myself?

I suddenly realized that promising to Yuan to get rid of my mask when we were alone was getting me to show my real self for the first time in a long time. My feelings had suddenly a place inside of me, but since I wasn't used to feel anything, I couldn't express them appropriately. What I had wanted to do just now, was to show Yuan the worry that had plagued me, the worry and fear in front of his stupidity. However, all that came of it was pure fury and anger. I was still unaware how to properly express my worry.

I sighed. How could I explain all this now that he was the one furious? And with reason, I should add. It was best to wait for him to calm down. I would think later if it was best that I go to him or if I should wait for him to come to me of his own will. However, knowing Yuan, he was quite stubborn; enough to ignore me for days.

Wondering what I should do during that time, my gaze suddenly dropped on some sheets that were lying on the table. A picture on the top made me recognize one of the suspected drug dealers and I realized that this was surely their files in the police station. Then this was the reason for Bryant's visit today. He had given them to Yuan. It was only logical since my friend didn't have the time to go get them with Yggdrasil's mission.

Curiosity winning over me, I sat down and read them, trying to see if I would have more details than in Yggdrasil's files. I was quickly disappointed though when I didn't see elements more pertinent. Phone numbers, addresses, all the civil information concerning them were there, but for the most part, these information were false or simply there to replace the real information for them to be registered like proper citizens.

Some of them had criminal folders, but not the four I hoped would. These four had, once again, little information on them. I had the impression I was dealing with ghosts! It really was too suspicious. I definitely had to investigate on them.

My gaze shifted to the clock and seeing the late hour, I decided to prepare supper. Maybe it would be enough to lure him out of his room so I could apologize.

Soon, meat's fragrance filled the apartment, as well as eggs and cheesed rice. And even if Yuan would not enter the kitchen, I would still go see him to give him a plate. It was out of the question for him to skip a meal as long as I lived with him. I would probably irritate him, knowing he didn't like this "habit" of mine, but he would have to get used to it someday.

Once supper was ready, Yuan still hadn't left his room and I knew he was being stubborn. So it was with a discouraged sigh that I got to his door with his meal in one hand and knocked softly on the wood. There was no response and I rolled my eyes. Was he really intending to act like a child since earlier?

Not letting myself be impressed by his attitude, I cracked the door open and threw a glance inside only to see him sitting at his desk in front of his computer, a falsely concentrated expression on his face, pretending he hadn't heard me. "Yuan?" I called him softly and he turned a dark glance in my direction. "What do you want?" He asked brusquely and coldly, that which made me wince. He was still angry.

This time, I walked in the room and put down the plate near him. He didn't even bother to look at it. "I came to give you your meal…" I began but he cut me short.

"I'm not hungry. And if you came only for that…"

"And to say I'm sorry." I finished more softly. He looked at me with surprised eyes. "Oh yeah? But you really seemed to think all that you said and far from being sorry." He muttered while looking elsewhere again. I immediately shook my head. "Still, I am sorry. I sincerely regret what I said. I… I lost it when Bryant told me what you did." This time, he seemed intrigued. "I'm not used to be close to my feelings, Yuan. The promise I made you is harder for me than you can think. I'm so used to feel nothing that I can't recognize them for what they are, I don't even understand them. I'm doing all I can, really, but I'm unable to control them like I want. When your commissioner told me that you had protected me, it angered me since it's not something that I feel… comfortable for you to do. My mistakes are mine alone, not yours. You almost lost your work that you love so much, that is so important for you." I admitted miserably.

At these words, he turned his gaze away and I didn't understand why. However, I ignored it, not wanting to coax him into a matter that, maybe, was making him uncomfortable. "My anger has taken dimensions that were too big and without me noticing it, you received it all. Besides, I don't understand why, since it never happened before, not even with Anna. I'm really sorry." Suddenly, his eyes shone with happiness and satisfaction and I was left confused. Was it because I had apologized and explained myself? Strangely, I didn't have the impression that it was the reason. Instead, I got the feeling that my anger against him had made him happy somehow…

I didn't have the time to ask, however. "I understand. I accept your apology." He stood up and he took his plate. "Oh, and Kratos?" I looked at him, intrigued. "Thank you!" My confused expression made him smile mockingly and mysteriously, but he didn't bother explaining and simply went to the kitchen to eat his meal and I followed him.

* * *

I was down to the last one on my list. Vharley Ikutsuki. He was a man well known for his deals and the powerful drugs he managed to get his hands on. I had already made my investigation on the other three suspicious dealers on my list, but didn't find anything abnormal towards the dealers or their clients. Well, except for one. At the bar most frequently visited by the dealer, a man by the name of Mitsuo, I had seen Pronyma getting in there one evening, to get out an hour later. A thing that I was strangely not aware of. She was a spy directly below my command, I was aware of every last one of her reports. And I was certain she never had to deal directly with Yggdrasil. So what was she doing there?

Strangely, when I saw her outside, she had nothing with her. Her hands were empty. Weren't she here for the drug? I needed this information; I needed to know if she was taking Datura sometimes. It would give me a better lead for Yuan's investigation.

I decided to come back the next day, after having investigated on the other two dealers, only to see her enter again in the bar and come out an hour later, her hands empty. What could she possibly be doing in there?!

The third day, when she entered the bar, I followed her inside to know once and for all what she was doing. I slipped inside after a short time, waiting for her to have some distance over me to avoid being seen; I wasn't the waka-gashira for nothing.

Blending in the crowd already in the room, even though it was still early in the evening, I saw her walking towards the dealer I was following. I frowned when I saw her whisper something in his ear before going away with him towards private rooms in the back of the bar.

I went near the place they were seconds before and my attention was pulled towards several men standing near me, looking in the same direction Pronyma and Mitsuo had gone away. "Her again! And she never buys anything…" One of them grumbled before returning his attention back on what he was doing.

She never bought anything? Really? I needed to be sure of it. While using of caution, I walked into the hallway they had disappeared into, paying close attention to not be seen or heard. Soon, I heard hushed sounds coming from a room with the door slightly opened. However, I didn't have the guts to look inside once I understood what she was doing here and I sighed with discouragement before moving away from that place. Pronyma had the profile of a prostitute and I had always known it, but to know she was actually doing it right now was disgusting me. Once more, I was eager to see this investigation coming to its end and for Yggdrasil to finally be behind bars.

My investigation on these three dealers wasn't really conclusive. I didn't eliminate them on my list though, we never knew, but there was still one last place I had to go that maybe would have some importance. I went there as soon as I left the bar and got there one hour later. Getting out of my car, I noticed with horror what kind of place this Vharley was going often… a swappers club. And right now, I was completely alone. There was little chance of me getting inside. But I had nothing to lose in trying, in case I could slip inside without being seen.

I looked all around the building first, searching for back doors, but even if I found some, they were all locked up. As for the windows, they were all shut tight. What bad luck! I had no choice but to try the front door…

Unfortunately, as I had predicted, I was immediately thrown outside and laughed at. I needed to be accompanied by someone. Or rather, by a woman… And unfortunately, the only woman I knew that could help me in this investigation was Presea. But it was simply out of question that I take her with me into such a place! She was sixteen, I was twenty-eight. I would pass as a pedophile, a thing I would prefer to avoid.

I sighed, trying to find a solution even as I returned to Yuan's apartment. When I went inside, I found him sitting before his computer in the kitchen, certainly searching for information on Origaki or looking over what he already had.

A sudden idea bloomed in my head.

And if…

* * *

**A/N : **Oh oh oh! What is Kratos going to ask of Yuan, hmm? You'll have to see that for yourself in the next chapter, hu hu hu!

I really hope you liked the conversation between Regal and Kratos. I know that they're supposed to like each other in the game, but don't you think it's nice to see another point of view from the two? :3

Aaaaanyways, I hope you enjoyed that chapter. Thank you very much to our fateful reviewers and readers!

See you in two chapters!


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **Hello everyone!! Once again, we're really, really sorry for the long wait. To make up for it a little, this chapter is longer than the others. I hope you'll like it!!

* * *

**Chapter**** 14**

I had to admit that it took a lot to scare me. But when Kratos lost his temper against me, I couldn't do anything else but to be paralyzed in terror on my chair, unable to move, only staring at him with terrified eyes. I'd never seen him so angry, in such a fury, reproaching the act I'd done to protect him. I was outraged that he was taking it out on me, but at the same time, I understood why he reacted this way. However, did he not see that I had acted this way because he was precious to me?! More precious than anything in the world! And all I had in return was a furious Kratos that even insulted me. I couldn't endure all this any longer and I left the kitchen to go into my room, slamming the door behind me.

I knew that ignoring him was acting like a child, but I couldn't help it. He had hurt me deeply by saying all those things. Why couldn't he understand that I had done this in order not to lose him? Yet, it seemed I would have to tell him directly for him to understand, a thing I would never do. I didn't need to have my heart broken a second time.

I was settled in front of my computer, unable to concentrate since I was so mad. Soon, the smell of food invaded my room and my stomach grumbled immediately, but I wasn't about to go out to see Kratos. He was the one who owed me apologies, and it turned out that I was very stubborn. I would wait. But as I had predicted, little time went by before Kratos knocked softly on the door. I didn't answer, keeping my attention on my computer. When he entered and pronounced my name, I replied curtly. He didn't deserve my sympathy right now. I was however surprised to hear him apologize and listened to him in silence as he explained himself.

When he admitted that he had never lost his temper in front of his wife, I felt a strange and irrational happiness. Kratos had never revealed himself entirely in front of Anna, but he had in front of me. I felt so touched by this revelation that I couldn't hide my joy and Kratos looked at me with confusion. And to add to his confusion, I stood up with my plate and thanked him, smiling mysteriously. He must be thinking I was crazy since he had just yelled at me earlier. I surely was, especially since I kept the insane hope of being loved in return.

* * *

In the evening, I went once more to Origaki, with the firm intention of getting into the building this time. I had obtained an outfit similar to the one the yakuza there were wearing. Once inside, if I had the misfortune to cross paths with an employee, I could pass like one of them. Well, I hoped. It was already the fourth day of my mission and I didn't have the time to devise a decent plan. Especially if Raine wasn't here.

Near midnight, at the shift of the guard, the entryway was left vulnerable like I had anticipated. I approached carefully, walking along the wall, throwing quick glances around me to verify no one were hiding somewhere. At the least, I already knew there was no camera supervising the entry. I slowly opened the door a little, looking inside carefully, only to see a hallway completely empty. I quickly slipped inside and walked along the dark hallway. It didn't take much time before I heard footsteps coming in my direction. Seeing a closed door at my right, I opened it on a small stockroom. Seeing no one was inside, I entered the room and closed the door softly behind me. The person walked in front of the stockroom and soon the sound of his footsteps faded. I carefully got out of the room and continued my way further in, finding the hallway empty again. My instinct told me the man that had passed by was the new guard for the entry I had taken. I soon took a turn, opening discreetly each door I came across. No traces of Raine yet, nor of something that could help me. For now, at least. I soon arrived in front of a more imposing door and it was brusquely swiped open in front of me. I acted instinctively. I quickly backed off to hide in a remote corner. I threw a discreet look only to see two men getting out and talking loudly in the hallway.

"I've had enough with this job. We're not paid enough for this." One of them groaned. The other only laughed at that. "You always say that, but I don't see you leaving this job. What would you do, then? Go sun tanning on a beach at Katsura? Don't make me laugh!" Another groan was heard. "Of course I would do that! But instead, I'm stuck here, being moved from one place to another like a vulgar toy to keep watch over a fucking scientist!" My attention was suddenly pulled completely to the conversation. I listened closely. "What are you talking about?" Asked a confused voice. "I'm being transferred again, that's what's going on! I have been given a new work station in the laboratory. I have to watch over this Raine. What a passionate job." His sarcastic voice seemed irritated.

I knew it! I should have gone for the laboratory from the start! I wouldn't have wasted precious time. But... watching over Raine? This sounded like she was kept against her will... It wouldn't be so surprising in the end.

"Still more guards?! The chief seems to be afraid of someone attempting to steal her!" The other commented, his voice coming closer to me. I lied low in the corner, to make sure they wouldn't see me when walking pass me. "I know. It almost seems like he is expecting something from Yggdrasil. But it's true he already sent spies to watch us in the past. We can never be too careful." The other answered as they were walking in front of me without taking notice of me, rapidly turning the corner, their voices slowly dying down. I waited a long time without moving. Then I rapidly went to the room from which they had gotten out. I had learned what I needed, but if I could go back without empty hands, it would be even better. Any information on the laboratory was welcomed.

I carefully opened the door and found the room empty. I saw it was a surveillance room of some sort. I went to one of the computers and found it already opened on their surveillance program. I quickly rummaged through it, searching for something specific. After several minutes, I had a satisfied smile when I found what I was searching for; the complete plan of the laboratory. I took a random portable disk lying there and uploaded the plan on it. When I was finished, I rapidly put the computer on the screen it was showing when I came in and quickly slipped outside the room before the two men of before have the time to come back and see me in there.

Getting out of the building was like a child's play. I got out from the same place I entered, but this time, someone was keeping watch in front of me. I silently went behind him. Before he even got time to take notice of my presence, I quickly place a cloth soaked with chloroform on his nose and mouth. He fell like a dead weight seconds after. The way was cleared now. I could afford it, since this man wouldn't wake up before several hours and he wouldn't even remember what happened besides falling asleep. I quickly left the area, leaving almost no proof behind me.

* * *

This loss of time hadn't been completely useless. When I studied the plan closer, I realized that the laboratory was rather... complex. And I couldn't afford to get lost there. I wouldn't have a second chance to get to Raine. So I began to devise another plan.

I had to admit that the next three days amply gave me the time to do it. Kratos had taken upon him to investigate each of the four drug dealers more than suspicious, since the list of their clients had been skilfully hidden compared to the other dealers working with Yggdrasil. It almost seemed like he had something to hide.

So Kratos was wasting the majority of his time in the places mostly attended by each of them and I was concentrating halfheartedly on Yggdrasil's mission. Because my deadline was today, and I was far from being ready to infiltrate the laboratory. This time also, I wouldn't succeed in the right time. Might as well say I would prefer to spend my time on the drug dealers instead.

Early this evening, I heard someone enter, meaning that Kratos was finally back. I had spent my day plunged in thinking about Origaki's case and I couldn't wait for him to give me something else to think about. He came to see me in the kitchen and I smiled softly at him.

"Hey. Did you have a good day?"

"Not so bad. How about you?" He asked carefully and I got the impression that he was looking at me a bit too attentively. I raised an eyebrow and watched him with curious eyes.

"It was all right." I answered in a tone as careful. "Your plate is in the fridge."

"Thanks." He simply replied, but never did a move to go get it. Instead, he leaned against the counter and his gaze settled on me. He was acting strangely, something wasn't right. I stared at him for a while, until I finally saw him take a deep breath before speaking up.

"Yuan, I need your help for something..." He let out, and I was surprised by his words. Kratos had never asked for my help until now. And by his look, it seemed important, but it seemed to make him ill-at-ease as well. My curiosity increased tenfold.

"What is it?" I asked and saw him hesitate.

"Well, I made my investigation on the four dealers that I talked to you about. To meet Vharley, the only one I wasn't able to investigate on yet, I must go to a club he spends most of his time in. The only problem is, I absolutely need to be accompanied in order to enter." He explained, throwing me an insisting look.

I felt my heart getting carried away when I understood what he meant. He needed me to accompany him at this mixer as his... _lover_?! I felt myself blush at the very thought, even though I knew it would be false, that I wouldn't _really_ be Kratos' lover.

"Oh. So I only need to go out with you, right? That's no problem, in that case." I answered, succeeding in not blushing even more. My answer didn't seem to reassure him since he seemed even more uncomfortable.

"Erh yeah, but there's not only that. It's a mixer where only... straight couples are accepted." He revealed and examined closely my reaction.

It only took seconds for my brain to make the necessary links. When it did, my face lost all colors and I stared at Kratos with an undecipherable look. No... He couldn't really be asking me such a thing, I must have heard wrong.

"..." I didn't answer, which made Kratos even more ill-at-ease. He seemed to want to say something, but was stopping himself. I finally spoke up slowly, detaching each word. "If I understood well, you want me to accompany you, but you need it to be a woman?" My neutral voice expressed no feelings.

"Exactly." He answered with what I believed was hope in his voice. My reaction this time was not long to come out. I abruptly stood up with my empty plate in my hand and I went to place it in the sink, beside Kratos.

"No." I simply replied on a firm tone. I made a movement to move away from Kratos and his stupid demand, but he caught my arm and forced me to face him.

"Yuan, I beg you! I can only ask this to you!!" He begged and I understood the seriousness of the situation since he was not the type of man to beg that way. But despite that, despite the importance of approaching that so-called Vharley, I was furious that he could ask me to disguise myself as a woman to accompany him. What did he think I was?! I tore myself violently from him and glared at him.

"Nonsense!! And Presea, huh?! She could surely accompany you if you asked her!" I said while raising my voice. Kratos looked at me as if I was crazy, completely mortified.

"Do you realize what you're saying?! She's only sixteen! I'll look like a real pedophile!!" He exclaimed with force and I turned around in fury, putting away the dishes with rage.

"Well that's good!!! At least I wouldn't have to cross-dress for a stupid event!!" I replied abruptly, outraged. But Kratos was not about to let go. He was as stubborn as I was.

"I _need_ you to help me. This investigation is important, you know it as much as I do, and it might be the only moment that we have to take him aside." He tried to reason me in a calmer tone, but I wouldn't hear it.

"I know all that, but I can't believe you're asking me such a thing!!" I hissed furiously, having turned around to throw him a dark look. Kratos suddenly moved forward and grabbed my shoulders firmly, plunging his gaze into mine. His proximity seemed to make the anger and outrage I felt melt little by little.

"Please, _I beg of you_, do it for me." He insisted in a begging voice, desperate and I immediately felt bad for having lost my temper. Kratos seemed to want me to help him so badly, was it okay for me to refuse?! However, I had a lot of difficulties throwing aside my dignity. But for Kratos, I knew I had no choice. I looked away and bit my lip.

"... You're cheating. How can I refuse anything from you when you seem so desperate?" I murmured reluctantly.

"Then you accept?" He asked with hope, his grip on my shoulders tightening a little. I plunged a determined look in his.

"Yes, but it's going to cost you deeply. _Real_ deeply." I replied with seriousness. I couldn't believe I had accepted. An amused smile painted itself on Kratos' lips.

"Everything you want." He announced, light-hearted. He must be happy. He wasn't the one who would have to pass as a woman, after all. I stepped away from his grip once more.

"And _I_ choose what I'm going to wear." A disappointed pout made its way on my friend's face.

"Too bad. I would have loved to choose your clothes." He joked and I threw him a dark look. I didn't find this situation particularly funny. I moved away from him and turned around only when I was about to leave the room.

"In your dreams. It's out of the question that you'd choose whatever ridiculous dress I'll have to prance in." I said in an irritated voice before leaving the room furiously.

I thought I heard Kratos laugh softly, but that could have been my imagination as well.

* * *

Right now, I was having a strong urge to throw myself off a bridge, anything other than standing here, in a store selling distinguished clothing for _women_, to buy an evening _dress_. Why in the world did I accept?!! Damn Kratos! I couldn't bring myself to refuse him something, for my own misery. And that weakness of mine had brought about this situation, me blushing all over in front of a saleswoman that was looking at me with wide eyes after I told her what I needed. Seriously, death would be more amusing right now. The young lady asked me to wait here before rushing into the back store. Really, I wasn't feeling well. When she came back, she wasn't alone and an alarm went on in my head. Following her was a man in his thirties that was far from putting me at ease. His behavior was rather... strange, like his clothes. He was wearing a classic and expensive suit of some sort, if it wasn't for the deep green color, matching with a _yellow_ tie. He walked to me with a swaying walk that was too much for a man and showing a large smile, a smile that wasn't predicting anything good. I stared at him, on my guards.

"Hello, mister. So, I was told you wanted to buy a dress?" The strange man whispered the end of his sentence with his flute-like voice and I was relieved by this. However, my shame only worsened and I could only nod. The smile of the man widened, if it was humanly possible.

«And is it for a special occasion?" He went on with his honeyed voice.

A special occasion? I would have liked, really. But it wouldn't be the real me that would accompany Kratos to this retarded club and the thought made me bitter.

"No, it's only a trivial evening." I muttered, still embarrassed by the situation. The salesman suddenly took my arm and had a laugh that made me shiver. What was I getting myself into?!

"Oh, don't worry, when I'll be finished with you, this night will be far from trivial, believe me!"

And without leaving me time to react, he pulled me across the rows, throwing dresses, shoes, accessories and underwear into my arms without asking for my opinion, without listening to my protests. I lifted horrified eyes on the mad salesman when he threw me a g-string. With a leopard pattern, furthermore.

"Hey! There's no way in hell I'm going to wear this _thing_!" I protested harshly and a mysterious smile made his way on the man's lips.

"It's essential to be ready to any _possibilities_." He whispered and my eyes widened even more at his insinuation. What in the world was going on in the head of this mad man?!

After followed several padded bras. At this level, I was too mortified to realise what was happening to me. I was pulled back to reality when the salesman pushed me into a fitting room, shutting himself inside _with_ me.

"What are you doing?!" I exclaimed, not caring in the least that everyone in the store could hear me.

"I supposed you would need some help to try all this." He explained on an amused tone. I was far from finding this situation funny, especially when his hands went dangerously close to _private_ parts of my anatomy.

"Hey, get your filthy hands of me!! Where do you think you're touching?!" My furious voice exploded in the store, hardly muffled by the laughs of the saleswomen. Laughs that ceased brusquely when the door of the fitting room opened harshly and the salesman flew out of it under my intense rage.

* * *

When I came back to the apartment, at the end of the afternoon, my anger hadn't subsided. I slammed the front door behind me and furiously walked pass Kratos who was already back without really seeing him, muttering insults against perverted salesmen. I took note of his presence only when he joined me in my bedroom, where I put down the bag containing my purchases of the day.

"What was that about perverted salesmen?" He asked with a confused expression and I didn't even bothered looking at him.

"Oh don't worry. He got what he deserved." I grumbled, still in a bad mood. Today wasn't the best day I had and it wasn't going to improve. Kratos didn't answer and I looked at him sideways, noticing he was observing the bag with curious eyes. "So, you found what you needed?" He asked me, reaching a hand towards the bag to grab it. No way. I quickly moved it away from him and lifted an eyebrow in his direction.

"Yes, I found what I needed, and no, you're not going to see it before tonight." I slowly said, too ashamed of letting him see what was in the bag. Because there wasn't only the dress in it. Let's just say I had gotten no choice than buy _feminine_ underwear, since it faintly showed through the dress. It would show if I wore boxers. And a woman wearing boxers _isn't_ something we see every day. Only thinking about the underwear I was going to have to wear was making me blush. Kratos seemed disappointed by my refusal but I didn't pay it any mind. No matter what expression he would wear, I wouldn't show it to him. I sat on the bed with a defying gaze, telling him silently that he would not have the occasion to take a glance at it. This time, he seemed amused and leaned on the doorway.

"So, how much did it cost?" He asked on a casual tone.

An amused smile showed on my lips. Oh, he had no idea...

"Fifty five thousand yens." Kratos jumped and his eyes widened. It was really funny to look at, let me tell you.

"Ho – how much?!" He stuttered and I had to refrain myself to laugh.

"You heard me well, fifty five thousand yens." I repeated calmly, satisfied to see him like this. We had made an understanding that Kratos would pay for the dress and all of the accessories, since he was the one that insisted I accompany him. So, as a little vengeance for obliging me to disguise as a woman, I had... forgot to pay attention to the price. Really, what a stupid error from my part...

"Couldn't you have chosen another dress more cheap?!!" His voice shook as he was still under the realisation of the fortune he had to spend. It wasn't my problem. He just had to think about it before asking me to accompany him. He was supposed to know me well, therefore supposed to know I was going to do a trick like this. I leaned back on one hand and looked at my nails, having difficulty hiding a small smile.

"It was this one that pleased me. And I wouldn't complain if I were you, there were other dresses a lot more expensive, believe me." I answered, locking my gaze into his with a wide smile on my lips. Kratos stayed frozen for a long time. When finally he pulled out of his torpor, I hadn't anticipated his move. Kratos closed the distance that was separating him from the bed and he leaned over me without a word, now displaying the same smile I was wearing seconds ago, but that had disappeared when my nervousness came back by his sudden proximity. Was he doing it on purpose?! I couldn't manage to think rationally in situations like this. Kratos came even closer and his finger pushed into my chest.

"You shouldn't play this little game with me, Yuan. Because I can assure you you'll lose." He whispered on the tone of confidence and I stayed speechless until he had turned away and left the room, a mocking smile on his lips. It was only then I was able to regain my senses back.

"Hey, what is it supposed to mean?!!"

* * *

It was now near nine in the evening, the hour to which we had agreed to go to the private mixer. I was presently locked in the bathroom, struggling against that cursed dress, after having wasted a great amount of time only with the bra. It was needless to say that I had never felt so ashamed in all my life. I was now busy trying to close the fastening on the back of the dress when an impatient knock against the door was heard for the third time.

"Yuan, hurry up or we're going to be late!" Kratos' impatient voice came to me muffled and I contained a curse as my fingers slipped once again without managing to close the fastening.

"I know, no need to yell!! Apparently you have never tried to put on a fucking dress!" I replied harshly, but it didn't shut Kratos up. He seemed to have taken a liking to annoying me.

"If you need help, you can just ask, you know!" The amused reply of my friend irritated me and I turned towards the door, my murderous stare seemingly wanting to burn a hole through the wood. If one look could kill, I swear that Kratos would be exhaling his last breath right now.

"Oh shut up if you don't want me to go back on my decision!!" I exclaimed furiously, that to which Kratos answered with a discreet laugh. With a brusque gesture, I tried the fastening again, and by some sort of miracle, I managed to close it. I sighed loudly and tried to regain my calm. I dared to look at my reflection one last time in the mirror and grimaced when I saw how ridiculous I looked. Well, too bad. I had to get out, now. It wouldn't serve me to make Kratos wait anymore.

A hand on the handle of the door, I opened it slowly and my gaze immediately went on Kratos. I was left breathless and unconsciously opened the door fully. I had to admit that this tuxedo was fitting him perfectly. He was wearing a classic black suit that was defining well his large shoulders and his musculature. It took all my willpower to tear my gaze away from his perfect body. It was so unfair that I could never have him for myself! I pushed this depressing thought away and focused my gaze on Kratos' face. It was only at this moment that I realized he was looking all over me, his mouth opened and his eyes wide. I immediately became red like a peony.

"I'm ridiculous, right?" I muttered without being able to bear his burning gaze.

The dress I was wearing was worth the price I had paid it, or rather that _Kratos_ had paid. Made with a turquoise green material as soft and light as silk, it was going down to my knees, with a layered cut going to the middle of my leg on one side. On the totality of the material were embroidered delicate white lilies. The dress had neither sleeves nor braces and was held in place by the fastening in the back. It was useless to say that it was really tight at the chest. I was wearing white sandals with high heels, with which I had tried to practice the most I could. I was also wearing thin bracelets of white gold, as well as a necklace with rows and a pendant in the middle. After many unsuccessful attempts, I had managed to comb my hair to tie them up behind my head, with some bangs falling on my shoulders and around my face. To crown it all, I was wearing _lipstick_ and blue ocean eye shadow.

To sum it up, I resembled the shapeless picture of a woman. I couldn't even comprehend how woman could still feel like themselves wearing this disguise.

And Kratos was still looking at me in the same way, making me _really_ ill-at-ease.

"Go on, you can laugh. I know it must be funny." I was certain Kratos would burst out laughing any second now, but he didn't. He quickly shook his head, but still stared at me with the same expression.

"N-no, not at all, you're really... beautiful!" He exclaimed spontaneously and it only got me outraged. What did that mean, beautiful? It was almost like I looked too much like a woman, finally!

"This is not a compliment!!" I fulminated, my gaze darkening.

Kratos shook his head again, a nervous smile on his lips.

"Please, don't take it that way! I only meant that you could deceive anyone." He added and it didn't appease my anger. It seemed I had not a bit of masculinity if I could easily pass for a woman!!

"... You're only making things worse for yourself." I said in a menacing tone and Kratos seemed to see I was on the verge of exploding. He had a shy smile.

"... Sorry. I can't help it." He answered and I saw in his eyes that he was serious. He really meant it like a compliment. My anger died down slowly when he approached me and presented me his hand.

"Okay, are you ready?" He asked me softly and my cheeks reddened lightly as I stared at his offered hand. I took it and noticed how his hand seemed big and my own small and frail against his when he closed his fingers around it. I had a nervous smile when I lifted my gaze to lock it with his dark eyes.

"No, but I've got no choice now, right?" I answered lightly, trying to hide my nervousness at this thought that was obsessing me; we were going to this club as a _couple_. If only we weren't playing an act...

Kratos walked towards the entryway of the apartment and I had no choice but to follow him, my hand still captive in his. It didn't prevent me from stumbling however and I cursed, which got me an amused look from Kratos.

"Hum, you know, it won't be enough just to be disguised as a woman. You will also have to _act_ like one, or we'll be immediately discovered." He remarked and I threw him a dark glance. Did he think I wasn't trying? It showed that he had never tried to wear high heels. It was far from being an easy feet. A light of challenge in my eyes, I took back my hand and went to face him. He wanted me to act like a woman? Then he was going to be well-served. My nervousness melted like snow under the sun. I approached him slowly until there was almost no space between us, listening to Kratos' unstable breathing. I put a hand on his chest and with the other I circled his neck, caressing softly the base of his nape. I felt him stiffen immediately because of the proximity of our bodies, but he made no move to push me away. I lifted my face until my lips were close to his ear and my hot breath tickled his neck.

"Don't worry, I know this." I whispered sensually and thought I felt a shiver run down Kratos.

But the contact of my body left him as fast as I had approached him. I walked to the door, swaying my hips tantalizingly, feeling Kratos' gaze burn my back. I managed to gain the entry without stumbling again and opened the door. I turned towards Kratos, who had stayed frozen where I had left him, a strange expression on his face. A seductive smile sprayed on my lips.

"You don't know what I'm capable of." I said with a mysterious smile before leaving the apartment. I slowly walked to the exit of the building, knowing perfectly that Kratos would catch up with me in no time. I thought back on the ambiguous words I had just said, that had probably confused my friend. But it was true. He didn't know me as much as he could think. There was a part of me he had never seen. This part that could seduce and make almost everyone fall under his charm. But I didn't want to show it to Kratos. I didn't want him to see what I had done with my body when I had badly needed comfort. There was no way I was going to try to win him like this.

He caught back with me at the entrance of the building and walked pass me. His face was once again serene, showing nothing of the effect I had caused him before, if there had been any... He walked to his car and I followed him. He opened the passenger door and turned towards me, a mocking smile on his lips.

"After you, _miss_." He said with amusement. I threw him an irate glance, but took place in the car anyway.

"Kratos?" I said simply, a menacing glow in my eyes. Kratos lifted an eyebrow.

"Your debt just doubled." I brusquely declared and closed the door in Kratos' face, who said something I didn't understand. Like it mattered to me. He had deserved it. He knew he would anger me by calling me like this. But he must also know that I wouldn't held it against him for a long time. I was unable to do it. I loved him too much.

* * *

We arrived at the club soon after. I had to admit that with the outside only, the place looked like somewhere not really affordable for common people. The people entering were all properly dressed. I felt nervousness engulf me again. I couldn't make a mistake. Kratos seemed to see it since he tried to reassure me.

"Don't worry, you just have to avoid talking too much and follow my lead. It's going to be okay." He said softly and I looked at him before nodding. Kratos got out of the car and circled it quickly, opening the door for me. I supposed I had to get used to these little attentions for the night, even though it bothered me. I took the hand he offered me and carefully got out of the car. Once I was standing on my feet, Kratos' arm circled my waist and we walked to the entrance, where a doorman was standing. Just before getting to the entrance, Kratos stopped and leaned towards me to whisper in my ear.

"Just a little thing before we go in. _Don't _go too far away from me, okay? Stay with me."

His warning made me frown. I didn't understand... Unless he forgot to tell me some details. By staring at his face, I guessed it was indeed the case. I didn't like it. But I didn't have the time to ask him that we were in front of the doorman, who was staring at me too much even though he was talking to my companion.

"Do you have a reservation, sir?"

"Yes, to the names of Kratos and Yuna Aurion." He answered in an equal voice and I had to stop myself from looking at Kratos with surprise. Yuna Aurion. So I had officially become his _wife_, and he had taken the liberty to play with the letters in my name. What a joke. And without me ever being aware of it. In any case, he didn't ponder about it long for giving me a name. The doorman bowed respectfully and moved aside to let us pass. Kratos thanked him and opened the glass door, letting us inside the entrance hall where someone got us rid of our jackets. I took this time to discreetly talk to Kratos.

"You won't be in trouble using your name so casually like this?" I asked worriedly and Kratos slowly shook his head.

"It won't serve anything to hide it. I'm certain this place will be packed with yakuza and I'll immediately be recognized, anyway." He explained lowly and I nodded. It was true he was too well-known in the underworld.

He embraced my waist again and we walked slowly in the direction where the music and the sound of the voices and laughs of the clients of the club were coming from. Kratos' last words before we went in the hall confused me again.

"Remember my warning."

I looked at the hall in front of us with wide eyes. It was, how could I say... elegant. On one side of the room was the bar, with a counter made of carved glass and black seats laced with red. The second section was the dining room, where tables delicately polished and black seats were standing. On the ceiling were hanging majestic ceiling lights displaying filtered light and giving the hall an intimate atmosphere. I noticed Kratos looked as impressed as me by the look of the club. I turned my attention back on our surroundings and only noticed now that the couples had stopped talking and were now whispering while looking at us. Really, Kratos was way too well-known. But he wasn't the only one at the center of attention. A lot of gazes were fixed on me and I felt really uncomfortable. Kratos suddenly tightened his hold on my waist in a possessive gesture. I pressed myself even more against him without noticing it, only wanting to escape the gazes.

"Come, we're going to sit down." He whispered and I nodded quickly, impatient to escape the curious looks. A waiter arrived and guided us to our designated table and I didn't have to be asked twice before sitting down. The conversations resumed around us and I was able to calm down a little. Kratos sat down beside me and we both ordered something to drink. When the waiter was gone, his arm went around my waist again. But I had the impression that this time, he wasn't playing an act. He seemed almost worried. Had this got a connection with the fact he wanted me to stay close to him? I opened my mouth to ask him, but I was again interrupted, this time by Kratos' gaze suddenly following something in the direction of the entrance. I followed his gaze, glued on a man that had just entered in the hall. It was a man quite aged, with blond hair and eyes so small that I though at the first look that they were closed. He was wearing a sly smile. I thought at the beginning that it was Vharley, since Kratos' complete attention was on him, but the name he said in a low hissing told me the contrary. "Kvar."

My gaze went from Kvar to Kratos, my memory trying to remember where I had heard this name. Because I was certain I had heard it before. Kvar... Suddenly, I remembered something Kratos had said more than a week ago, while we were in his office. _"Sano, the mission he wants you to accomplish is one that he should only give to Kvar, his best and oldest spy!!"_ My gaze came back to rest on this man, the oldest spy of Yggdrasil, who was greeting some of the couples at the bar. It wasn't good. It was really, really bad! If he sees Kratos here, who knows what he would say to Yggdrasil? Turning my eyes on Kratos, I was surprised that he didn't seem worried, but rather confused and thoughtful. He was surely wondering what he was doing here, with no one to accompany him. If he was able to enter, it necessarily meant that he was a regular. He soon left the bar and walked to the entrance of another room, one that I hadn't seen before. The entrance was hidden by a red wine curtain, from where couples were often coming out as others came in. This sparked my curiosity.

"What is behind that curtain?" I asked casually and I saw Kratos hesitate vaguely before answering.

"I have to tell you something. I... I forgot to mention that –" He was suddenly cut out by a young couple that came to us rather joyfully.

"Kratos Aurion! It's been a while, hasn't it? How are you?" The young man with shoulder length blond hair asked while sitting down without asking for the right. Wonderful, I bitterly thought. It seemed that the whole world was trying to prevent me from obtaining the answers to my questions. Looking at Kratos, I saw that he too wasn't happy of the interruption.

"I'm fine, thank you Remiel. A lot of work to do lately, however. Oh, let me introduce to you my wife, Yuna." Kratos answered and I had to refrain myself from blushing by the allusion. I wasn't really used to it. "Yuna, here's Yggdrasil's cousin, Remiel, and his wife, Lana." Kratos presented them to me and I forced a smile, bowing respectfully before them.

"Pleased to meet you." I said simply and Remiel smiled at me.

"The pleasure is mine. You have such an adorable wife, Kratos! I'm quite jealous." He said it like he was joking, but he seemed serious and it gave me shivers. How could he say things like that when his wife was right beside him?! And when I looked at her closely, Lana didn't seem to pay it any attention. The young woman with the long ebony hair and almond eyes seemed like she wasn't interested at all in the conversation.

"But I wasn't aware you were married, Kratos. How did you meet each other?" He inquired with curiosity and I threw a glance at Kratos, who seemed totally at ease. I curiously asked myself what he was going to invent.

"Let's just say that I met Yuna at a time I didn't know if living was still worth it. It's thanks to her that I could get out of the deadlock and take a taste in living again." Kratos explained almost in a whisper and I stopped breathing for a split second.

What he had said resembled... our first encounter. Was it what Kratos was really feeling?! I was inexplicably touched by it, since Kratos wasn't someone that easily expressed his feelings. So to do it now, I was grateful and moved by it. My hand sought his under the table and I squeezed it hard. Kratos didn't pull his hand away and instead squeezed mine in return. A small smile made its way on my lips and I didn't really pay attention to the conversation that was now turning around work.

But after half an hour of conversation between Remiel and Kratos, I really began to become impatient. Looking at Kratos, I knew he also wanted to get rid of Yggdrasil's cousin, but he couldn't find the excuse to do it. And I wouldn't wait for him to find one. Ignoring Kratos' warning, I excused myself from the conversation, saying I had to go to the restroom. I didn't miss Kratos' worried gaze, but didn't pay it mind. If he had said what was worrying him so much, maybe I would have been more inclined to listen to him. But I wanted to know where Kvar had gone to. I found it strange that he would come here, furthermore alone. Maybe... he was dealing with Vharley? Hum, it was definitely a possibility.

In any case, I was walking towards the entrance masked by the curtain when a man came on to me, blocking my way to the secret room. He annoyed me even before talking, but I didn't show it. Instead, a smile dawned on my lips and I waited for him to talk, letting my gaze wander over him. He was rather appealing, although not as much as Kratos. The man had in his twenties, short dark hair and dark eyes and was wearing a warm smile. He took my hand and brought it to his lips, which made me lift my eyebrows.

"Good evening, my lady. I couldn't stop myself from noticing your incredible beauty since earlier. Would you grant me the pleasure of dancing with you?" He asked with hope and I had to refrain myself to not laugh in his face. If only he knew he was presently flirting with a _man_, he would never recover from it!! I realized how easy it was to deceive all these people. Were they all stupid? I had an apologizing smile before taking back my hand. I had to decline; I didn't have time for that.

"I'm flattered, really, but –" I began, but was cut out by the cold voice of Kratos that had caught up with me without me noticing it.

"But she already owes a dance with someone else." He finished my sentence and I looked at him with surprised eyes. What was he... Without as much as a warning, Kratos took my hand and guided me towards the dance floor, leaving in the lurch the young man that seemed highly disappointed. "Kratos, what are you..." I began with confusion as we reached the dance floor, where several couples were already dancing embraced on the slow rhythm of the music. Kratos turned to face me, his gaze rigorous. But he didn't seem angered, only worried. I wanted to apologize, even if I didn't know what I did wrong, but Kratos' arms wrapped around my waist and he started to dance slowly on the rhythm of the music, a gesture that seemed to reduce my brain to smithereens. But I still had enough presence of mind to put my arms around his neck and also let myself be guided by the music. Kratos' lips approached my ear to whisper into it; "I told you not to wander far from me." He scolded me softly. His voice near my ear made me shiver. I pulled away to look at his eyes, seeing the worry in them.

"Will you finally tell me _why_ you don't want me to get away from you? What is it you're hiding from me?" I asked in a tone that demanded answers. I _needed_ to know what he was hiding. Kratos hesitated again before sighing.

"Okay, I might have... forgotten to mention that this place is a... partner-swapping club." He quickly finished his sentence, but I still understood. I tensed in his arms, finally realizing what he had hidden from me. A... partner-swapping club?! No, he couldn't have! I threw him a dark glance.

"You _forgot_ this little detail?!" I furiously hissed between my teeth, being careful of not being heard by anyone. "How could you hide this from me?! I mean, I come here, disguised as a woman to help you, and you don't even have the decency to tell me I will end up in the arms of a stranger!" I was pissed off. I couldn't believe Kratos could let such a thing happen. So it was exactly like I thought. I was nothing more than a friend for him. I quickly diverted my gaze to hide the violent emotions I was feeling. I wanted to pull away from him, but his hold around my waist tightened. His hand gripped softly my chin and he lifted my face to look in my eyes.

"How can you possibly think I would allow something like this to happen? It's exactly why I wanted you to stay close to me. I will never let someone touch you like this. _No one_." He firmly answered and my frustration swiftly melted away at the possessive words Kratos said. He had sounded like a possessive and jealous lover. Well, it had seemed that way to my ears and I kept the ridiculous hope he may be bearing the same feelings as me. It was so stupid.

I hid my confusion the best I could. Now was not the time to think about such depressive thoughts. I didn't want Kratos to think there was something wrong. "Why didn't you tell me? Don't you think I deserved to know it?" I asked more calmly and Kratos made an apologizing smile that seemed nothing but false.

"_Yuna_, think about it for a second. Seeing the way you reacted when I asked you for this favor, do you honestly think you would have accepted to accompany me if I had told you it was a partner-swapping club?" He explained in a semi amused tone. I threw him a reproachful look. I knew he was right, but I didn't want to admit it.

"No, I would have left you in your trouble and you would have deserved it. I still say you should have told me about it." Kratos rolled his eyes and I saw he was trying hard not to laugh. "So what, you're waiting for apologies?" My gaze full of reproach answered him in place of words. "Okay, so I suppose I'm sorry. In fact, no." He answered with amusement and I was outraged by his words. He wasn't sorry?! "Your debt just tripled." I furiously hissed. It didn't seem to bother Kratos, since he was doing a great effort not to burst out laughing. I could see it in his eyes.

This conversation was beginning to get on my nerves so I diverted it a little, regaining a semblance of calm. "Then what is behind this curtain..." I began slowly and Kratos also gained back his seriousness, his gaze settling on the entrance of the room hidden from sight.

"I guess it leads to the private lounges where the... _exchanges _take place, if I can say it like this. And if Vharley is here tonight, he's probably inside." Kratos whispered with seriousness and I saw that this situation wasn't appealing to him. It was the same for me. "In other words, we must go in there?" I asked in an equal tone, but my eyes betrayed my discomfort at this idea. Kratos' gaze darkened. "I sure hope not. If we're lucky enough, he will get out at some point. Anyway, nothing will happen to you, I promise you." He whispered on a softer tone and I smiled lightly.

I relaxed again in his arms and laid my head on his chest, getting the closer to him I could. I was feeling so good in his arms, like nothing could ever happen to me, like a sweet and intense warmth was burning me deliciously and that I wouldn't get any regrets by dying in his arms. I had never felt like this before, not even with Martel. But it was so painful to know that even if he was so close to me, he seemed so far away and I got the feeling he would never be mine. This proximity with Kratos tonight was hurting me as much as it was soothing me. For this reason, I couldn't wait for the night to end.

We stayed silent for several minutes as I was listening to Kratos' heartbeat. I almost forgot where I was now as I was feeling too good in his arms. So I was disappointed when Kratos moved me away gently from him, whispering in a low tone; "He's here."

I turned around straight away, forgetting my disappointment to look at the man named Vharley. My eyes settled on a man quite fat. His brown hair short on the sides was forming a hideous crest at the top of his head and he was wearing a beard of several days. He was also wearing an elegant black suit, but that couldn't make him look better than he was. A beautiful young lady was clutching his arm. By judging of her indecent looks, I was certain she was a prostitute. Especially since she was with a man like Vharley, who was far from being appealing. The latter went in our direction in a fast step, a mocking smile on his face. I didn't move, except for clinging to Kratos' arm and moving closer to him, waiting for the dealer to arrive. At least, I was relieved that he was coming by himself. He stopped at a few feet in front of us and I noticed again how much he was hideous. He offered a hand to Kratos.

"Well well, it's such a surprise to see you here, Kratos. I imagine you're not on a mission for Yggdrasil." He talked with a gruff voice that showed that he wasn't really surprised to see us, despite his words. Someone had surely told him Kratos was here and it was the reason he had come out of the private lounges. My friend shook his hand. "You're right, Vharley. I would like to discuss something with you. Yggdrasil has nothing to do with it." He simply answered. Vharley nodded, but his gaze was cautious. He didn't know about what Kratos wanted to talk. "Let's sit down, then. We will be more at ease to talk." As he was talking, I noticed his eyes where darting in my direction too much and it took all my efforts to stop myself from grimacing. I didn't particularly appreciate being looked at by a man like him, he was making me remember Rodyle and it _wasn't_ something I wanted to remember.

We went to sit at a table in a remote corner, which would allow us to not be heard. "So, what could you possibly want with me, Kratos? Since you came all the way here, it must be important." Vharley asked in a casual tone, one arm on the shoulders of the woman accompanying him. I stayed silent, my gaze traveling between Kratos and Vharley, wondering how my friend would proceed to make him spill the beans. Kratos leaned over the table and joined his hands, his eyes fixed on the drug dealer. "I'll start by asking you a simple question; are you really providing datura to your clients?" He asked seriously and Vharley lifted an eyebrow, letting out a dry laugh. He pulled out a cigar from one of his pockets and lighted it. He took a long drag before answering; "What kind of question is that?! You should know it better than anyone, no? All of my transactions are on Yggdrasil's registers." He answered on a disdainful tone and Kratos sighed. "Yes or no, Vharley? I have to make sure." He inquired impatiently. Vharley threw him a dark look. "Yes! What the hell do you want? I don't have all night!" He groaned with discontentment.

"I want to know the names of the people you are selling datura to. I want the _complete_ list of your clients." He said firmly. I knew now that Vharley wasn't a loyal dog to Yggdrail if Kratos was asking for it so plainly. He must be the kind of man to be faithful to the highest bidder. It wasn't more reassuring, in my opinion. The eyes of the dealer creased with annoyance and mistrust. "I own nothing to you, Aurion. And it certainly is not a way to ask for a favor." Kratos' face stayed neutral. He nonchalantly leaned back on the seat. "Okay, let's do it this way, then. You tell me what I want to know in exchange for a reasonable price. And I don't have to tell you that this conversation must stay between us." His deep voice let him see the threat that his words implied if he ever reported this to Yggdrasil.

Vharley stayed silent for a while, never letting his gaze stray from Kratos, slowly enjoying his smoke. That wait was making me nervous. Kratos must have felt it, since he found my hand and gently squeezed it. I threw him a glance. He too hadn't stopped staring at Vharley.

The dealer put out his smoke in the ashtray. "It seems reasonable. But why do you want this list? What do you hope to find in it?" He finally asked.

"It doesn't concern you. Just give me the list." Kratos replied coldly and it was clear at this point that he didn't like him and that the contrary was also true. Irritation showed on Vharley's face. "Not so fast. Payment comes first. Don't try to cheat me!" He groaned. This time, I saw anger in Kratos' eyes, partially hidden behind his bangs.

"What do you want?" He asked dryly. The dealer's eyes suddenly settled on me for the second time that night and I immediately stiffened. "A night in the company of your charming wife would be enough. It's not so high a price, what do you think?" His smooth voice chilled me to the bone as it was pulling to the surface memories still too fresh to my mind. Not another one like Rodyle!! I was cursed, that was for sure. I didn't see another explication. Kratos' reaction didn't take time to come. His arm circled my shoulders possessively, bringing me closer to him like he wanted to protect me and his eyes threw daggers at Vharley. "No way. You'll never touch my wife. Find something else." He replied on a cold tone and the dealer burst out laughing. "You can't be serious?! You came here, in a _partner-swapper_ club, and you don't have the intention of lending your wife?! What did you think?!" He said on an amused tone.

I felt indignation grow in me as he was treating me as a mere object. I was so close to Kratos that I felt his chest vibrate as he was spitting heinous words; "I came here only to talk to you! I never had the intention to engage in this disgusting and degrading activity!!" I was left surprised by the violent reactions of Kratos. It wasn't usual for him to show his emotions in front of other people. I then noticed he had raised his voice enough and that heads were turned our way, curious to see what was going on. Vharley didn't let himself be impressed. A grin was soon visible on his lips. "I don't care what you think, I won't change my mind. If you want that list, you will have no choice but to let me pass some time with this delicious creature. I have to admit I understand why you want to keep her to yourself. A real treasure like this one, she must know how to satisfy a man..." I blushed of shame at the words of this hateful man.

His words enraged Kratos even more. He brusquely stood up, pulling me with him. "In that case, the deal is off. Yuna, we're leaving." He furiously said and made a move to go away, but I quickly caught his arm. He turned around and threw me a confused glance. I came closer to whisper in his ear. "Kratos, are you sure about this?! It may be our only chance to put our hands on this list. And if we want to find the murderer of your family..." I couldn't bring myself to finish my sentence, shivering at the only thought of being alone with Vharley. Of course, there was also the problem that he would discover I _wasn't _a woman, but a man. I knew that if the situation arose, I would find a skilful way for him not to notice it. But deep inside, I was hoping Kratos would refuse this alternative, even if it was the best solution for him to have his family avenged. Kratos' gaze didn't soften, even if his hand moved a bang away softly from my forehead. "I don't care! We'll find something else; I refuse that he touches even one of your hair! Don't even think of cheapening yourself like this for something that isn't worth it." He hissed lowly between his teeth and I found myself unable to answer as I was too shaken by his sincere words. How... how could he pass me before his family that was so important for him?! I didn't understand, and that attention only made me love him more. It was so unfair. Didn't he know that all the gestures he did towards me lately only deepened the feelings I felt for him?! That they were making me suffer more, showing me what I could never have? No, of course he couldn't know.

Seeing that I wasn't protesting anymore, Kratos took my hand to pull me towards the entrance when Vharley stood up and said words in a heinous voice; "Why aren't you letting your bitch decide by herself, huh? Surely this mouth can be useful to something other than pleasuring you." These words were those that finally blew up Kratos' boiling anger. He turned around rapidly and his fist crashed with violence in Vharley's face. Blood gushed out of his broken nose and he collapsed to the floor, moaning in pain. I was petrified, looking at Kratos' furious face, unable to move under the shock. I had never seen him this furious before. He was... frightening. "Shit!! You broke my nose!!" Vharley moaned, hiding his face between his hands.

Kratos walked to him and gripped the collar of his suit. He lifted him harshly from the floor and threw him a murderous look. "You better take back your words if you don't want me to break something else." He threatened with a dangerous voice and fear tinged Vharley's eyes at this. He gripped Kratos' hand in the fleeting hope to make him let go. He panicked when he couldn't do it. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry!! Let me go!!!" He yelled in a frightened voice, but Kratos still didn't let go. I finally pulled out of my torpor when I understood the gravity of the situation. He was in a rage similar then the time with Rodyle.

Fear consumed me entirely. I gripped Kratos' arm in a desperate gesture. "Please, stop it! You promised..." The sound of my begging voice seemed to shake him. He looked at me for a long time, his crimson pupils lost in mine before his attention settled again on the dealer. "You're lucky this time, Vharley. But if I come to learn that you have told Yggdrasil of this conversation, you're dead meat!" He hissed in anger. "Kratos!" I reprimanded him on an alarmed tone, outraged that he could have said such a threat. Finally, he let go of Vharley who fell to the ground, his eyes wide with fear. Kratos passed by me without looking at me once, making for the exit. I quickly followed him, ignoring all the looks fixed on us and Vharley's curses.

The ride back home was spent in silence. Kratos was staring at the road, his features hard. I threw him several side glances, worried by his silence. I bit my lip and looked discreetly through the window as my thoughts constantly turned around what had just happened. Kratos had gotten into a mad rage only because Vharley had insulted me. If I hadn't stopped him, who knows what would have happened. I should have been furious that he had acted like this, but I didn't have the heart to be. I was so touched by his reaction, by his want to protect my honor. But I didn't understand why he had acted like this. Why should he care what other people said and thought about me? He shouldn't pay it too much attention.

We were still silent when we came back to the apartment, late that night. I didn't dare say anything, as I was unable to decipher Kratos' expression. In any case, he seemed in a really bad mood. I rapidly slipped away to take a shower, eager to be myself again.

When I got out, wearing my pyjamas, I found Kratos sitting on the bed, still in his clothes of the evening, his hands buried in his ruffled hair, his gaze on his knees. He seemed thoughtful, but at least his expression was a lot less murderous then when we arrived. So I decided to take the risk. I came up to him, climbing on the bed and putting my hand carefully on his shoulder. Kratos tensed at my touch and I knew he was fully alert. "What's wrong, Kratos? You're acting strangely ever since we left the club." I inquired softly, worried by his attitude. I didn't understand what could have put him in that state. It couldn't be only about Vharley, right?

He turned his head to look at me and we stayed frozen like this for a short moment, without a word, our gaze lost in each other. Suddenly Kratos brusquely stood up and reached to doorway, leaning his forehead against the frame, his breathing heavy. A hurt expression dawned in my eyes as he was avoiding my touch like the plague. I was right then. For several days now, my presence was hurting him and I couldn't do anything against it. In fact, I could. I could avoid him, but I would suffer from it. And I was so egoistical that I refused this option. Kratos calmed himself a little, but he still refused to look at me as he whispered; "I'm sorry." before leaving the room like a dust of wind.

That night, I dreamed. It was a dream as terrifying as it was beautiful. Because in that dream, Kratos was returning my feelings, he was desiring me more than anyone had ever desired me, he was giving me more than anyone had ever given me, he was showing me with his body what his words couldn't express. I was feeling such an intense happiness that I wanted to cry. But it didn't last. A shining blade. A demented laugh. A red rose blooming on a tanned skin. A carmine gaze losing its light.

Kratos' body was becoming cold in my shaking arms, as I was looking with horror at the demonic face of no other than Yggdrasil, who was holding the dagger stained in blood in front of his eyes and whispering words that stabbed my heart deeper and deeper. "If he can't be mine, that he will never belong to someone else! Don't you see that this is all a dream? Kratos doesn't love you; he only uses you for his own amusement. You're only a toy, a puppet for him and nothing else!" I shook my head violently, opening my mouth to deny his false words, but I found myself unable to say even one word. My hands found my throat and tears of powerlessness and rage ran down my cheeks...

I woke up at this moment, panicked, with tears staining my cheeks and with the impression of suffocating, of drowning in the panic. It's only when I noticed Kratos' presence near me than I was able to calm down a little. I reached a trembling hand to his face, but changed my mind at the last second. However, my tears hadn't stopped rolling down at the horrifying memory of the lifeless face of the man I loved. It was beyond my control. I didn't care about the fact Kratos was half awake, his eyelids fluttering slowly and moving a little next to me. I didn't care about what he would think of my actions. I closed the distance between us, pressing my body against his, burying my tearful face in his shirt, breathing his intoxicating scent. He must have felt his shirt getting soaked in my tears since he awoke fully now, his tired eyes settling at the top of my head since he couldn't see my face. He called my name in a sleepy but worried voice, but I refused to lift my face. I didn't want him to see me like this. It was already embarrassing enough. Even if he was fully awake, I didn't let go of him. I needed to feel that he was alive, breathing next to me; I needed to know it had been only a dreadful nightmare. Kratos didn't push me away and I was glad for it. I rapidly fell asleep again, worn out by my conflicting emotions and my devouring fear.

The next days passed by too quickly to my taste. Taking aside the work I had to do for the police, I was taking all of my free time to perfect my plan to enter the laboratory and meet Raine. But the worst of all were the moments where I was alone with Kratos. Since that night at the club, an uneasy silence weighted down between us. Kratos was avoiding me most of the time, without ever telling me what was wrong. But even more, when his dark pupils settled on me, I could see unending suffering and torments. And I was the cause of this suffering, I knew it. For what reason, I ignored it. And he didn't want to tell me. Seeing him like this, I felt my heart break in thousands of pieces and I couldn't do anything besides watching him suffer.

* * *

I was finally here. I had passed a week and a half on this mission, more than the time that had been granted to me, but I was finally standing in front of the room where Raine Sage, the genius scientist of Origaki, was spending most of her time. Getting here had been easier than I had thought, but I feared my ploy wouldn't last long before the entire guard makes search parties to find me.

After many days of observing the laboratory, I had found a prey rather scatterbrain and more often drugged then in a normal state. He was guarding one of the side entrances. The one that was accompanying him had gone away for a long time, a time I took profit in to get close to him without he noticing. For having seen him several times, I knew where he was hiding his identification card. With precaution, I had substituted it from his pocket before rapidly getting away, without a sound. He never saw it coming.

It had taken several days to make a copy of the card, with my picture presented on it, but the result was rather satisfying. At the first look, it was impossible to see it was false. I had then been able to enter the laboratory, with the excuse of having been transferred from the department of drug dealing. The guard let me pass, but I didn't miss the suspicious look he threw me. I was sure he would investigate on my identity, discovering that I had never worked for them. When they would, I was certain it would be the total chaos to find me. I had to work fast.

I had learned the plan of the entire building by heart, and it hadn't been difficult to find Raine's laboratory. I quickly opened the door and my eyes immediately settled on a young woman with hair as white as snow, bending over a telescope, plunged in complicated calculus. I closed the door behind me and she lifted surprised eyes on me.

"Can I help you?" She asked on an annoyed tone. It seemed she didn't like the interruption. "Are you Raine Sage?" I asked in a hurried tone. I didn't have time to dawdle. The look she casted me told me that she had already unmasked me. I imagine that every employee of Origaki knew her, but not me. She stood up and put a hand on her hip, staring at me. "Yes, it's me. And who might you be? No offense, but you don't seem to be an employee working here." I had a small smile. She was truly brilliant, there was no doubt. I leaned on the door and folded my arms, listening to the sounds coming from the hallway. I had to be ready for anything. "I'll be sincere with you. Like you so skilfully guessed it, I'm not working for Origaki. I'm working under Yggdrasil and I have the order to bring you back with me. Yggdrasil wants your intelligence." I explained calmly, observing Raine's reactions closely. She didn't seem surprised, but her expression darkened and she turned her back on me to put some papers away in a desk. It was obvious she was already aware that Yggdrasil wanted her. "Tell Yggdrasil that I don't have the intention to leave this cage only to be kept in another one." She brusquely answered.

I suddenly realised what her words meant. She wasn't free; she had never been inside this organisation. And she wanted liberty. I knew at this instant that I wouldn't have to bring her back by force. She would come, if I used the correct words. I would have to play all my cards. I walked towards her and sat in one of the only chairs that weren't covered in objects. "Please, hear me out at least." I begged her on a serious and hurried tone. She turned around slowly, her gaze inquisitive, proving that she was going to listen to what I had to say. "They call me Sano Nagano, a spy working for Yggdrasil. But that isn't my real name. In reality, I'm Yuan Ka-Fai, from Okinawa's police department. In reality, I'm an infiltrated police officer that is trying to stop Yggdrasil once and for all."

To prove my words, I pulled out my police badge that was skilfully hidden in the lining of my coat and showed it under the incredulous eyes of Raine. It took him several seconds to recover before taking a careful expression, her blue eyes staring at me. "If you're telling the truth, then why are you accomplishing the missions he gives you? Nothing good can come out of this." I had a sad smile. She was right, but I had no choice until this mad man was kept behind bars. "There's no evidence yet that would permit us to arrest him. I have to gain more time, and the more I'm close to him, the easier it will be for me to discover his secrets and find a proof strong enough to arrest him. If I don't complete the missions he gives me, I'll never stay alive long enough to make him pay for his crimes." I saw that Raine was about to talk again, but I cut her out. I didn't have the time. I had to persuade her quickly. "So if you come with me, if you accept to go to Yggdrasil's organisation, I promise you that you will regain your liberty when he will be captured."

Raine stayed thoughtful for a moment. I rapidly grew impatient, throwing furtive glances towards the door. She soon lifted her gaze back on me, biting nervously on her lip.

"What's telling me you'll be able to stop him? That you will be able to give me back my freedom?" She asked in a whisper full of hope. My thoughts immediately converged towards Kratos and my lips drew a sad smile. "Because I promised it to someone dear to me. I promised him that his family will be avenged. And there's no way in hell I'm going back on my words, even if it means I have to die for it." I replied with conviction, my burning gaze never faltering.

She seemed troubled at first by the strength of my words, but I soon saw determination gain the blue pupils of the young woman. "All right. I'll follow you." She agreed and I stood up, satisfied. "I'm happy to hear it. Let's get out of here." I turned towards the door and made for it when Raine called for me. "Wait! What are you thinking?! We can't get out this way, we'll be immediately seen!" I looked at her with confusion. "What are you talking about? When I came here, there was no one near this room." The look she threw me proved me there was something wrong with this.

I suddenly understood. There had been no guard when I arrived earlier, but normally there must always have some to guard the room and stop her from getting out. It only meant one thing; they were waiting for us on the other side. They already knew I was a spy and had let me pass deliberately. We were trapped. And the worst in this is that I didn't have the time to think about an efficient way to get out of here, only to _enter_. I rapidly joined the scientist, feeling nervousness climb in me. "Isn't there another way out?" Raine shook her head. "I fear not. This room has only one entrance." She answered with despair. Marvellous. I had succeeded in reaching Raine and persuade her to join Yggdrasil, but I had no idea how to get out of here.

I needed a good idea, and fast.

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **With this ends the fourteenth chapter. For those who were wondering about it, fifty five thousand yens is the equivalent of six hundred and twenty US dollars. It's a lot of money. XD

I hope you still like how the story unfolds and for those who are desperate to see Kratos and Yuan together, please be patient! We've got surprises in store for you. ^_^

See you next time!!


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N : **School's over! Yay! Which means… no, not really more time for the fic than usual. Holidays are always so busy as well xD

Aaaanyways, here's a little gift for Christmas that we both hope you will enjoy very much! Thank you as ever to Little Rosebud for translating the chapter. And Tales of Symphonia is still not ours, but Namco's.

Well, enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 15**

I… I couldn't believe it. I had never, ever thought it would be so good looking. His perfect curves giving him a frail and feminine figure, his hair tied together leaving only a few bangs down to frame his lovely face. The shining emeralds of his eyes gleaming and accentuated by the makeup he must have had so much difficulty putting on. The jewels at his wrists and neck seeming so fragile were suiting him. And the dress… I didn't care about the price now. It was definitely worth it. To see him like this was worth all the money in the world and I was so happy to be the one having the chance to see him like this. He could deceive anyone.

For God's sake! Yuan wasn't a woman, but he could make any women – pretty or not – feel jealous tonight. He was of such a rare perfection that I couldn't tear my eyes away from his radiant beauty, nor to close my mouth that had opened by itself. My friend had to talk to pull me out of my torpor.

"I'm ridiculous, right?"

Ridiculous? No, never. She was so beautiful… I couldn't believe it, I was even thinking about him as a woman now. But I couldn't help it! And more than ever, I wanted to make Yuan mine, wanted him for me alone. What would I give to forget about this evening, admit everything and… No, I was going too far, way too far. It would never happen anyway.

He asked me to laugh and I refused straight away. It was out of the question since he was so magnificent. And even though I complimented him, he still got frustrated. Oh well. I couldn't help it. _She was so… perfect_.

As we were about to get out, Yuan stumbled with his sandals and did something I could never have anticipated. He had sensually moved closer to me. His closeness was so much that I felt myself stiffen, my breath shortening, my heart beating like crazy, sweat almost forming on my forehead. I swallowed with difficulty. Was he doing this on purpose? It was so difficult for me to control myself when he was acting like this!

My brain reacting by itself, I had almost bent my head to capture his lips with my own, but he freed himself and walked to the door, preventing me from doing it. Disappointed and frustrated, I observed him without a word, still relieved for not having betrayed myself. It wasn't the right time, especially since we were going to see Vharley.

I had taken the time to calm myself before joining him at my car in the most natural way possible before we went to the club.

At the club, I had done all I could to keep him close to me to prevent him to be approached by other men. I hadn't told him to which kind of club we were going since he would have refused straight away. But it hadn't been the only reason. It was out of the question for Yuan to belong to someone other than me. Well… Unless Yuan loved someone else in return, but it was a whole different story. In any case, I had to admit I was really possessive towards him. I had promised myself I was going to protect him, after all.

When finally we met Vharley, he annoyed me immediately. I had never liked this man only faithful to the highest bidder, wanting to be richer by the second, all the rest having no importance to him.

My annoyance quickly transformed into a blind rage when he asked for Yuan in exchange for the list. Was he insane?! He thought it wasn't expensive, but what he asked from me had simply no price compared to a meager list. So it was while keeping Yuan close to me that I told him he wasn't going to have him. I was so furious that I hadn't even noticed I had raised my voice and that everyone was staring at us now. I felt myself boil inside, from a rage so intense that I stood up while bringing Yuan with me, intending to leave this place before I did a mistake and hurt Vharley. Yuan tried to stop me, asking me if it was really what I wanted. After all, I was putting Yuan before my family and it could seem strange. But I didn't care. I never wanted him to denigrate himself that way, or for him to denigrate himself at all.

I was about to pull him with me again, however Vharley had the guts to insult Yuan and this time, I couldn't stop myself. I hit him violently, seeing nothing but red now. He was going to pay, and a high price at that! I would not tolerate to hear him insult someone so precious to me like he just did!

I was so blinded by this fact that I didn't notice I was about to commit the same crime than with Rodyle. It was only when Yuan stopped me that I noticed it and I had to calm myself to let go of the disgusting dealer. However, I couldn't stop myself from threatening him of death and Yuan immediately scolded me. Then we left this despicable place. Finally…

On the way back home, we both stayed silent. I wasn't in the mood to talk anyway. I was still furious by what had just happened and the scene was replaying in circles in my head. Vharley insulting the man I loved, wanting to make him his, even if it was for only one night! I felt my hands stiffen on the steering wheel as my mind focused on this moment. I was unable to calm myself completely as my anger was still vivid. But at the same time, I was feeling really bad. How could I have asked Yuan to accompany me tonight? I should have known something like that would have happened! I had almost put him in danger, he could have ended up in the arms of another man if I hadn't been careful. Furthermore, at some point, Yuan had suggested that he carried out Vharley's deal. He hadn't wanted it, it had been obvious, but he still had suggested it. The more I thought about his words, the more I felt my heart break. How could he have cheapened himself like this? He was so important to me; I didn't want anyone else to touch him! So I should never have brought him with me, never…

We finally arrived at his apartment and he immediately went to the bathroom to remove his attire. And I was so preoccupied that I didn't have the heart to tease him. If I had been in the mood, I would have told him to keep the dress as a memento.

I sat on the bed and stared at my knees, my head between my hands. My anger had subsided only to be replaced by bitterness. I was right in the end. I didn't deserve him, especially if I asked him favors like tonight. I had to stop this, to distance myself. I couldn't ask for favors like this anymore because I knew the same scenario would happen again. I couldn't approach him any longer, I couldn't impose my love on him that would not only make him uneasy, but would also hurt him. It would bring many consequences for him. And I wasn't only thinking about Yggdrasil who was a real threat! I was talking about myself, about the mistakes I could do that would hurt him as much as when I murdered Rodyle. And I could never forgive myself if I hurt him again.

I jumped slightly when he put his hand on my shoulder and I looked at him with an undecipherable expression, debating on what I should do. Soon, I couldn't take it anymore and pulled away until I was against the doorframe. Why was his proximity making my emotions swirl inside me and making me go crazy? I couldn't take more of this for now, I had to calm myself. "I'm sorry." I whispered before leaving the bedroom to go in the living room.

It was decided. The less I was near him, the better it would be.

* * *

Yet, I still went to sleep in his bed once he was asleep, not wanting to drastically cut off all our habits. He would seriously wonder what was happening otherwise and ask questions I didn't want nor dare answer. By fear of many things.

I had just fallen asleep when I felt him pull close to me, his entire body shaking under his tears. I was immediately worried and called him by his name, wondering what was going on, but he never gave me any answer. Did he have a nightmare? Probably. But about what? Had he seen Rodyle again? Or was it Vharley who haunted his thoughts?

No matter what it was, something was tormenting him and I felt my heart clench at this sight. I hesitated for a long time, debating on if I should take him in a reassuring embrace or just let him calm down near me without acting? I had said to myself, after all, that the less we got closer, the better it would be…

But I realized that I had to help him because he was my friend! So I hugged him close to me, only to realize he had already fallen back asleep. However, I knew I wouldn't let go of him for the entire night, to reassure him and to keep his nightmares at bay. "I don't know what's haunting you, but please forgive me." I whispered to him, knowing perfectly that he wouldn't hear me.

* * *

The next day, as I was entering Yggdrasil's office to give him some reports, I knew something was off when I saw Kvar near our superior, whispering something in his ear. Yggdrasil seemed pissed off, in an anger that only worsened when he saw me. I knew right away what was going on and cursed my carelessness. I should have known that Kvar would have told him everything!

"Thank you very much, Kvar." Yggdrasil said between his teeth. "You can go now." The spy bowed before him and made his leave to go back to work after throwing me a mocking smile.

Yggdrasil rose slowly, his eyes never leaving me as I was thinking rapidly on what I should say exactly. However, I didn't have the time to talk since he was on me in a second and slapped with force. "How dare you?!" He yelled, his fists clenched so hard that his knuckles turned white. "What's all this about having a new wife?! _Huh?!_" Still dazzled by the slap, I mechanically rubbed my cheek. "Mithos, it's not –"

"What I think?" He finished for me. "Oh, indeed, you are right, it's not what I think." He began to pace around and suddenly sniggered. For a moment, I thought he'd lost his mind. "If I believe Kvar's description, you were accompanied yesterday night by a really pretty woman with long and silky azure hair and emerald eyes shining as jewels…" He stopped again to face me. "Strangely, if we take a more rough description, it resembles one of our _dogs_!" I felt outraged that he was still treating Yuan like a mere animal, but I didn't have the leisure to make him know about it since he took a vase and threw it on the ground, making me jump. The latter broke in thousands of pieces, but my superior didn't give a damn about it and walked on the broken pieces. "I knew you had a relation that went past one strictly professional." He hissed through his teeth with rage, his face now only two inches apart from mine. His hands were immediately in my hair, gripping them and pulling harshly on my locks. "And I don't know why he put on this disguise…" He began with disgust. "But I got the impression you want to _betray_ me again!! How many times, _how many times_ must I tell you that you are _mine_! _Mine_ and _only_ mine!" And without so much as a warning, he kissed me like the last time, forcing his tongue inside my mouth, playing with mine before biting it without restraint. I retained an exclamation of pain in front of such violence; even if it would have been smothered by the fact Yggdrasil was now licking the blood that seeped out of my tongue. "What should I do to make you finally understand?!" He exclaimed with a mix of exasperation and furor when he released my tongue.

How I would like right now to push him away, how I would like to show him that the feelings he had towards me weren't shared and would never be. Unfortunately, if I attacked him now, he would either get rid of me or of Yuan. I wasn't of too much importance, so it could do, even if I would prefer to stay alive long enough to put him behind bars for all the crimes he had done. But if he laid a hand on Yuan… that I couldn't tolerate. It was why I shouldn't attract his wrath and let him do what he wanted.

"Should I mark you as mine?" He declared as his lips caressed the skin of my neck. Suddenly, he nibbled the skin in the hollow of my neck and sucked harshly. Surprised, I managed to contain any sound that could have slipped pass my lips, no matter it be of surprise, pain or pleasure – although the latter would never happen. I would never stoop so low under my superior's influence. Never.

He finally stopped to look at his work with a satisfied smile before lifting his eyes on my face, only to look at a totally expressionless mask. This flared his temper and he slapped me across the face again. "React! Do something, damn it, but _stop_ looking at me like that! I'm tired of seeing nothing!" He yelled and pushed me violently against the wall behind me. "What should I do to make you see only _me_?!" He suddenly had a carnivorous smile and began to laugh like a demented man. "I should lock you up to prevent you from seeing anyone! No more contacts to push you to betray me!" He spit out his stupid idea and I felt totally discouraged. Did he really believe that, deprived of any human contacts, I would finally love him? He could always dream, it would never happen. "It's a really bad idea, Mithos. You know you need me as Saiko-komon and Waka-Gashira." I explained with calmness that still surprised me and Yggdrasil's eyes creased. "I could always give a promotion to Zelos. He would certainly be happy!" He added while folding his arms, determined to make me react. Too bad, he wouldn't get what he wanted.

"Zelos is still only a teenager; he wouldn't understand half of the work to accomplish. And I thought you had enough intelligence to know it too, Mithos." My last sentence cut him to the quick and he groaned in furor. "So I might as well get rid of the root of the problem!" He roared. "Might as well get rid of that _dog_." At these words, it was my turn to get angry, even if it was only from the inside. Get rid of Yuan? It was _out of the question_. "We aren't in a situation where we can take such a measure, Mithos." I uttered each world slowly. "We lack the money and time to find another spy we can trust. It wouldn't be an intelligent decision for your organization." I replied with precision, knowing perfectly that I was right. Mithos threw me a murderous look. "You're trying to protect him, admit it!" He accused me with hatred.

"But I'm right." It was my sole response, not approving nor denying his accusation. This was enough for him to lift his hand for a third time, but I was prepared this time. I caught his wrist in its movement, stopping him and looking at him harshly. "It's enough, Mithos. Your childishness has gone too far. I'm your most loyal warrior in this organization, but I'm not a toy for you to hit as much as you want. I would deeply appreciate that you remember it." I had never rebelled against Yggdrasil, as I never had the occasion to do it before. Yggdrasil had always thought me loyal before learning about Anna and Lloyd and had never tried anything on me. Despite that, he was outraged by my answer and looked at me with bewilderment and anger. He freed himself with force. "How dare you talk to me on that tone? I am your superior, I'm the one that orders each of your actions! You owe me respect!!" I wanted to sigh, to show him my discouragement in front of his attitude, but I did nothing. "Maybe, but as a superior, you should learn to treat your men like men instead of lowly toys." I tried to make him understand. Then getting around him, I place the papers I had been holding all this time in my hand on his desk. "Here's the work you asked me. Good day, Mithos." I dryly said goodbye to him before taking my leave. I didn't see him fulminate, nor did I hear him mutter that even if he couldn't get rid of the dog, he would do everything to make him know his place.

When I came back to Yuan's home that night, my tongue was swelled up and my cheek completely red. Yet, these wounds were nothing compared to the anger I had felt all day long towards Yggdrasil. I was tired to be treated like this; I had simply enough of him. I wanted him in prison, for him to rot in a cell.

Yuan was at the counter preparing dinner and when he saw me enter the kitchen, his eyes immediately took a worried expression. He went to me, forgetting what he was doing and was about to put a hand on my cheek, but I quickly drew away and walked to the table. Straight away, his worried gaze became clouded with hurt, but I didn't see it. "What happened to you?" He whispered, still wanting to know. I only answered the name of my superior and that was enough for him. This time, he seemed outraged and enraged. "What? Did he try again to…" I didn't let him time to finish his sentence, replying by the affirmative. Yes, he had tried again and yes, he had succeeded – even for a little. Fortunately, the collar of my shirt was hiding the mark he had made on me. I was already ashamed of it, I didn't need Yuan to see it. "It's nothing and anyway, I put him back in his place." I softly replied. I hoped my speech had at least brought him back to reality a little. But above all, I hoped he wouldn't hurt Yuan. I knew I would blame myself a lot if he did harm to the man I loved so much.

* * *

Days passed by, and as I was returning to the apartment after a long day of work, I wasn't so surprised to see that Yuan wasn't there. He must have been at Origaki again. After all, he had already taken more time than the deadline, as I had imagined, even if I had no doubt he would succeed. He would bring back Raine Sage, I was sure of it. Only… later than expected.

My gaze settled on the computer still opened in the kitchen. Yuan must have forgotten to close it. I was on the verge to do it when my eyes fell on the file displayed on the screen; Yuan's plan to infiltrate Origaki. Intrigued, I read it rapidly and had a proud smile. You could count on Yuan to find how to enter the most secured building of an organization without any complication.

More and more curious, I rolled the page down to see what plan he had made for his escape with the scientist only to find there was nothing at the end… Suddenly worried, I began to search in his computer, but found nothing.

…

The idiot! How could he forget to make a plan to get out of there once inside? Especially since he would be with Raine, he _had_ to have made one!

Paranoïa made its way in me straight away. I had my reasons to be worried for nothing when he was concerned since the incident with Rodyle. But this time, I wasn't thinking of this omission like nothing important.

And without thinking further, I rapidly left the apartment, hoping to get to Kôbe in time.

I arrived in front of Origaki's laboratory, having parked my car far away to not be noticed. Strangely, the guarding around the building was… poor. I knew immediately that all the guards outside must have been send inside as reinforcement to capture the intruder, in this case, Yuan. He really was stupid. How could he have not thought about a plan to get out? It was even more important than getting inside!

I still circled the building at some distance since there was still some guards outside, watching the main entrance. I didn't need to be seen and for them to call for reinforcements. I quickly spotted an entrance on the other side guarded by only one man and I had a small smile. It would be as easy as pie!

Sliding along the wall of the building, I made sure I stayed in his blind spot while running silently and rapidly in his direction. I then caught him by his throat before he realized what happened, trapping it in the crook of my arm. My left arm caught the muscle of my right arm and my right hand pushed on the nape of his neck. I saw his face becoming red as I was putting pressure and I released him after three seconds, watching him fall to the ground, unconscious. If someone knew the right techniques, they could manage to get around without hurting anyone.

I entered the building and looked around. I couldn't afford to stay at the same place for a long time, as it was bound to have guards passing in this hallway and the man I left behind would be rapidly discovered. As I had anticipated, all had changed since the last time I came here, which meant in my younger days. The security had been changed completely, the buildings restored. It wasn't so much of a surprise, after the ruckus I had caused and the years that passed, anyone would want to get the latest equipment to reinforce the security.

Walking swiftly in the hallways, I made sure to stay in the darker corners and always in the blind spots of the cameras I found on my way. It wasn't all that hard. Once you knew how an entire security system was working, it was a piece of cake. After all, I hadn't once been a spy for nothing.

I kept on going, making my way in the hallways like a shadow, getting rid of any nuisance on the way. All this in the littlest time since the guards looking at the cameras would understand soon enough that someone else had infiltrated as their men were disappearing without reason. The rhythm of my heart was kept under control. Nervousness had been foreign to me for years now as it was a harmful feeling in such situations. Moreover it felt strange; I got the impression to plunge back into the days I'd rather forget.

At the fifth yakuza I knocked unconscious, I saw an empty room near us and an idea bloomed in my head. Looking over the unconscious man at my feet, I decided he would do the job before pulling him in the room with me. I took of his clothing and put them on after getting rid of my own. Putting the cap on my head, I looked at my reflection in the nearest window. The clothes were a little tight, but it would do for now. And if I tilted the cap low enough, my face would be hidden enough and I would be unrecognizable.

I went back in the hallway, and despite my disguise, I stayed out of the cameras' range by precaution. I stopped for a moment, wondering what I should do. I didn't know where Raine's room was and even if I tried to find a mass of people, it could take me too much time to find them and it would be too late. I had to find a way to know where exactly was being held Raine. There was surely a plan somewhere or information that could help me.

I began to look around the hallways, opening the doors discreetly to verify if there wasn't anyone inside. I finally came across the security room and I didn't need to enter it to know there was someone inside. I didn't have the choice, I had to get rid of them to look at the cameras and find the cluster of people.

Opening the door in complete silence and just enough to slip inside like a cat, I got to the two yakuza watching the screens. When I stood between them, they jumped and stared at me. "What is it?" Asked the one at my right on a gruff tone. "I thought everyone had to go with the boss except for us two and some at the entrances?" I smiled at him, half of my face hidden by the cap, which should have seemed suspicious for anyone. Was this man stupid? "The orders have changed; I came for the changing of guard." I tried, even knowing that the chances of this attempt succeeding were low.

The man on my left seemed to have more insight. "The change of guard? But there isn't any!" The first one said, trying to understand as the other was about to call for reinforcements with his radio. As he was about to talk, I made the radio fly out of his hands by kicking him in his back to make him lose his balance. It was then that the other yakuza understood what I was and tried to hit me, but I avoided it by bending down and sending my fist flying in his stomach. Then, without waiting for him to get over the pain, I made him trip and he fell backwards. He hit his head harshly against the electronic counter behind him before falling miserably to the floor, unconscious.

I brought my attention back on the second one who was going for his radio, but I grabbed his leg and pulled him to me before he managed to get to his goal and he fell to the ground face first. I trampled on each of his hands harshly, until I heard them creak under my feet, making me know they were broken. The man yelled and I only watched him with cold blood I knew too well. However, I felt a long shiver travelling inside me. I didn't want to hurt someone today, but it was necessary.

I went to his radio and crushed it to pieces before going to the one that owned the unconscious man and giving it the same treatment. Then, my eyes scanned the screens in front of me and I finally found the room where the yakuza were regrouping in front of. It seemed like it wasn't too late yet. I looked at the markings at the bottom of the screen: third floor. I should find it easily now.

I finally got out without bothering myself with the man still conscious in the room. Without his hands and any means of communication, he would have difficulty getting out of the room in his panic. I didn't have to worry about him. All I had to do was getting up the two last floors.

I finally arrived in the hallway where Raine's room was situated and saw numerous men waiting for Yuan to come out to make him pay for trying to steal their weapon from them. I had a mocking smile. This would be easy!

"An intruder has infiltrated the laboratory!" I exclaimed myself. "He's trying to help the one who is already inside!"

This was enough. The man that seemed to be the boss barked his orders immediately. "Okay! We have to stop him from getting here. You, you and you." He designated three men near the door. "You stay here and capture him if he tries to escape. He can't go anywhere anyway." I rolled my eyes. As if three men where enough to capture Yuan. "As for the others, you're coming with me to search for the other. We will show him he can't come barging in here as he wants!" The superior went on. "Go!" He exclaimed and they all went away to search for "me". I was right, a piece of cake.

When they all went away except for the three named for the guard, I went to them nonchalantly. They immediately looked at me with incomprehension and suspicion. "Shouldn't you be with the others?" One of them asked me with impunity. I only smiled at him mockingly, my eyes hidden by the cap. Then, without as much as a warning, I hit him harshly in the face and he fell to the ground with a moan of pain. The other two froze for a second before intending to call for the others as reinforcements, having understood I was the intruder. But that second was too much. With a strong kick in the stomach, I sent one on the ground near his colleague before breaking his nose with the same feet. I then took the arm of the last one that was going for his gun and twisted it behind his back. I did the same technique on him than with the man at the entrance and he fell limply on the ground, unconscious.

I got sure the three of them were out of harm's way before opening the door and coming face to face with a Yuan in a defense position in front of a Raine frightened by the sound I had made, but especially curious. Seeing them like this, I couldn't stop myself from laughing softly and the face of my friend went from determination to incredulity. I knew he had recognized my voice.

"Don't worry, it's only me." I declared while getting rid of my cap and his expression widened. "K-Kratos? What are you doing here?" He was confused, it was obvious. I had a discouraged sigh before folding my arms with a mocking smile. "Apparently, coming to your rescue." I answered quite simply, which annoyed him straight away. "I-I could have managed it without your help!" He exclaimed on a tone that seemed sulky to me. I snickered. "Yeah, and I presume you would have taken care of the totality of the yakuza that were waiting for you outside? Especially since you didn't have a plan prepared to get out of here." I pointed out, which frustrated him even more. "I thought that as a policeman, you would know it's necessary to predict _everything_ in advance, especially in such situations, to prevent being trapped like a newbie." I criticized him. I knew it would only annoy him further and that I shouldn't do it since he knew his job well. But the mistake he did today could have cost him deeply, and to Raine also if I hadn't come.

He was about to reply, but Raine stopped him. "You can quarrel later! For now, we should get out of here when we still have the chance." She was right; we didn't have time to waste. Motioning them to follow me, we left the room quietly, stepping over the bodies on the ground, looking around to see if there weren't more of them.

I guided them in the hallways I had the time to look at and that by my memory, were the less guarded and more empty by men or cameras. But less guarded was a big word, furthermore since all of the yakuza in the place must know I was the intruder by now. The boss must have gone to the security room and noticed the damage I did.

Yuan and I had to take care of the men getting in our way, but it was all. "How did you manage to find us so easily?" Yuan asked me as I was looking carefully in the next hallway to see if the way was safe. "Easy isn't really the correct word. I had to work to find you." Yuan looked at me with an unconvinced expression. Visibly, he didn't believe me. Had I been that quick? I didn't count the time it was taking me anymore. "And I already had to deal with Origaki when I was younger. I know a little about their workings." I added simply.

All of a sudden, one man saw us and ran to us, warning his colleagues in his radio. Yuan dashed towards him with an outraged expression and neutralized him by hitting his legs, making him lose his balance and he hit his head harshly on the floor. "You already dealt with Origaki in the past and you didn't do anything to help me?!" I understood his point of view, but it wasn't a reason to get angry now. "Yuan, when I entered today, everything had changed. Do you sincerely believe I could have given you false indications?" I replied harshly and he fell silent, even if he was still angry. I sighed and took back my role as a guide while watching around us. We had to move fast now that the yakuza had called for reinforcements.

Raine, who had been watching us for a long moment now, turned towards Yuan. "Could it be that Mr. Aurion is the person that –" But she didn't have the time to finish her sentence that Yuan was cutting her up brusquely. "No!" I threw a glance at them and saw that his face was completely red all of a sudden. "What is it? What am I?" I inquired, but Yuan shook his head. "No, it's nothing, it doesn't concern you, she was wrong." I arched an eyebrow, but decided to let it go since I saw the entrance was more guarded than it was when I got in. Apparently they didn't want us to get out. But it wasn't something Yuan and I couldn't take care of.

I turned towards him. "Okay, you stay here and watch over her for the time I clear the way. Protect her if someone arrives, but don't come to help me or there will be chances of someone getting its hands on her." I declared in a low voice and without waiting for an answer from him, I ran to the entrance with the sole idea of getting rid of them all.

As soon as one of them saw me, they all went towards me, but I avoided all their hits, bending down and moving out of the way to make them hit the air and fall on their own. And each time they were trying to hit me, I countered their strikes, rarely missing my targets. I was aiming first at the men that were trying to call for help, snatching their radios from their hands and breaking them in the meantime. The others I was aiming for were the ones that were getting out weapons. I wasn't about to let myself get shoot at now. Each time I took their weapons, I threw them far away quickly before returning to the fight without ever getting hit. They didn't know how I managed it, but it was what they got for fighting Kratos Aurion. They would learn at their own expense that it wasn't an easy feat.

However, even as I was multiplying the hits, the amount of adversaries seemed to never end. Maybe someone managed to call for help finally. Despite that, I went on with the fighting, seeming to never tire out. I couldn't be beaten, just like eight years ago. It took a lot to tire me out, especially when fighting was making my adrenalin rise up, which was happening right now. The more I fought, the more I was getting into it and the more I got a taste in it! It was totally out of my control and I knew I would be ashamed of it later, but for now, I was far from worrying about it.

But I couldn't go on like this forever or we would never get out of here! And there was a way so quicker to get rid of these people.

So I took out the gun I was wearing at my belt and aimed at the legs of one man, about to shoot it like many others after him. I wasn't planning to kill them after all, only to use a quicker mean to neutralize them. There was nothing wrong about that.

"NO!"

I jumped and my attention went to Yuan who was also fighting, but was looking at me with frightened eyes at the sight of my weapon. Under the adrenalin and my taste for fighting, I hadn't realized that I was about to hurt someone seriously, something that I'd rather avoid. My moment of inattention cost me a fist in the stomach that fueled a mountain of hits. I tried to get back to the fighting, but Yuan had calmed my adrenalin and I had trouble to do it.

It's then that the rain of strikes stopped a little and I saw that my friend had joined me in the fighting. I looked at him harshly. "I told you to stay near Raine!" I exclaimed. Yuan smiled at me. "Well, there wasn't anyone out there anymore and you seemed to need the help!" He replied on a mocking smile. I sighed before giving my all in the fight again. It was faster than before, and our combined efforts finally won over our adversaries, taking them all out of the picture. Covered in bruises, I lifted my head towards where Raine should be standing, only to find her still there. I sighed with relief. At least, nobody had stolen her back under our eyes.

Suddenly, the sound of sirens was heard and got closer to the building. Soon, we could hear the voice of a man amplified by a megaphone. "Police! Surrender now!" I had a satisfied smiled as the other two turned towards me with incredulous expressions. "What is the police doing here?" Exclaimed Yuan through his teeth and I had a soft laugh. "I think I forgot to mention I called Kôbe's police earlier, because I suspected Origaki to keep a young woman captive against her will." I said with a small smile while throwing an intent look at Raine. "Of course, they won't find her, but they will be happy to find many evidences against this organization. Weapons, for example." I threw a glance at the door to find all the guards had run away. It was our chance. "Very well, let's go." But before we could make one step, Raine stopped us. "Wait a second! Why should I follow you? Now that the police are here, they can set me free!" She exclaimed, refusing to follow us anymore. I sighed and turned towards her while folding my arms, my gaze serious. "Indeed, I should turn you in to the police. Unfortunately, you wouldn't be free like you wish so strongly. We have a corrupt system, Miss Sage. When you would be in the hands of the police, you would be immediately put under bars for having helped an organization of yakuza. Even if you haven't done anything wrong, you would be judged and condemned. Naturally, Yggdrasil would buy your freedom in the greatest secrecy and you would still be obliged to work for him to pay off your debt. So, what is your decision?" She threw me a dark glance, showing clearly that she didn't like me. Maybe I had been too harsh with my words, but it was for her own good.

Seeing that she still wasn't answering, I deducted she was agreeing to follow us and I discreetly took us out of the building under the nose of the police and without being seen by them.

We were soon back at the headquarters and now that the events had calmed down, I realized how much I had come at Yuan's rescue on an irrational impulsion. Of course, protecting him from any danger was my top priority, no matter what happened, but now that we were out of danger, I didn't know how to act. I didn't want to get too close, after all, since I would only hurt him in the end.

"You should go back to the apartment to make your report the faster you can." I said in a low tone without looking at him. "You shouldn't hand it with more lateness that it has already. I will take care of Miss Sage."

Yuan stayed silent, but I didn't dare to turn around to see if he understood. Then, without a word, he turned and walked away to do – well, I thought – what I told him to. It was only when I knew him out of range that I turned around with sadness. It was saddening me to take my distances like this, but it was for the best.

I looked at Raine who was staring at me this time with curiousness and… was it pity? Had she already understood the feelings I felt towards Yuan? It was likely so. She was known for her intelligence after all. On the other hand, I didn't know what I liked less. This look or the one of furor from before?

I decided not to ponder over it. "Let's go, I'm going to show you where you will sleep. You will meet Yggdrasil only tomorrow. He's certainly sleeping right now." I said in an impassible voice and she nodded before following me.

* * *

The days that followed were silent and more and more painful. Yuan handed me his report the day after bringing back Raine and I could give it to our superior while presenting him the scientist. Yggdrasil seemed really happy to have her in our organization and especially to learn that Origaki's president and his yakuza had been arrested. It was effectively good news for him.

Concerning my resolve to get some distance from Yuan, it was going better each day that passed, if I could say it like that. Even if it was painful, I hadn't gotten a real conversation with him since we brought back Raine.

And still…

* * *

Since the incident with Vharley, I had asked Presea to watch over the dealer for me. Or rather, to watch every single person close to him and take note of the ones that bought datura from him. I would have preferred not to get her involved in this, but I had no choice anymore.

Until now, all the information she was bringing me wasn't what I needed. All of Vharley's clients were unknown to me or they were so unimportant that Yggdrasil would never order them a murder like the one of my family. I had to admit, it was frustrating me. After all, even if I hadn't shown it recently, finding the murderer of my family was still one of the most important things to me.

* * *

I got home really late one night since work had strangely piled up during the day. I think I was really too distracted lately, too preoccupied by so much things that didn't seem to resolve themselves, but rather worsen. I had to find a solution, I couldn't continue like this or I would destroy myself completely. This was why I had built myself a mask; this was why I never wanted to drop it. Facing my emotions was so complicated.

As I was walking into the apartment and to the kitchen knowing I would find Yuan there – the light was still on, after all – I wasn't surprised to find him asleep, once again, in front of his computer on the table. I couldn't prevent a small smile to dawn on my lips. Without even being aware of it, Yuan had always seemed to melt even a little bit of my worries. Seeing him like this was putting me at ease. I approached him, intending to take him in my arms to carry him in his room for him to sleep more comfortably, but I stopped dead in my tracks.

What was I doing? And to say I was doing so many efforts to try to stay far from him. They were crumbling apart so easily? My love for him was so deep?

Yes, of course it was, I had known it for a long time now. However, if I let myself act like this, even if Yuan didn't know about it, I wouldn't be able to control myself afterwards. And what would I do then? Let Yuan know about it and reject me?

I sighed and stepped back. I didn't know what to do anymore, my emotions were fighting inside of me, begging me to come forth. I wanted him for me alone, close to me, in my arms. I wanted to protect him, never let him go, do everything to make him feel loved.

And even if he would, by some chance, permit me these egoistical actions, I was scared. Scared to hurt him so much he would hate me. And I could never bear it if he didn't want me around anymore, no matter if it was as a friend or lover – if ever this option was going to appear. I sighed. This was all so complicated.

Yuan suddenly moved and I started, certain that he was going to wake up. If it was the case, I would have to rapidly get out of the room.

Fortunately, his head only changed sides as he was muttering something in his sleep that I didn't understood. I sighed of relief and had a small smile.

To hell with it. One last time. For one last time, I would please my heart. After that, it would be the end of it. I wouldn't impose anything on him anymore, even if he had never been aware of it. I would not hurt him more if I stayed away from him.

Softly, my hand went to his hair that I caressed nonchalantly, as I had done so many times before. Too focused on my actions, I didn't see him move softly under my action. I took a bang of his hair and brought it to my lips, smelling his fragrance with delight, kissing it gently. I loved his silky hair, I loved everything about him.

"Hmm… Kratos?"

I jumped violently, not expecting for him to wake up. I quickly let go of his bang and backed away rapidly, refraining myself to blush in shame. I was panicking now. Did he see? Most certainly. What should I do? Would he reject me?

"Kratos? What's going on? Is something wrong?" He asked me with worry as he was now fully awake. My heart was beating like crazy, I wanted to run far away from here and bash my head until it cracked. How could I have been so stupid? "I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone, I –" I turned my back on him, intending to leave the apartment, but he suddenly retained me by catching my wrist and I swore silently. Why was he holding me back? Didn't he see what I did?

"Kratos, wait! Don't go." He said on a begging tone that made me turn my head towards him with confusion. I then saw something I had never noticed before; a hurt and tortured gaze. Why? Had he been feeling these emotions for a long time? Was I the cause of his torments? Surely. But I had never noticed them before. I really was stupid.

"What's happening to you?" His voice was asking for explanations I had no choice but to give. "You're avoiding me recently, you seem so hurt when I'm with you, and you refuse to tell me even one word of what you're feeling! What's going on, Kratos? What did I do to make you hurt so much? I can't bear it anymore, I need to know!" He thought… He thought he was the one who was hurting me? Oh, he was so in the wrong. He would never hurt me, he was my precious one.

"Kratos, please answer me." He said in a low voice, our faces close to each other now as his hand around my wrist pulled me closer to him. My heart was pounding so loudly now and I could hear it clearly in my ears, making me wonder why Yuan seemed not to hear it. I couldn't seem to be able to think, my sight was blurred and our proximity was leaving me speechless and breathless. I was scared, scared to tell him everything, but in the meantime…

"You really want to know?" I finally let out in a whisper.

He nodded, not once looking away from me. It was at this very moment that I made up my mind. My brain would have to wait for later, I wasn't able to think clearly anyway. My feelings were rapidly winning over my mind, I couldn't control myself anymore.

And I let them overwhelm me. I closed the small distance separating my face from Yuan's and my lips claimed his own softly. I felt him tensing up, but didn't pay it mind for now. All that mattered was to show Yuan how much I loved him, how much I wanted him.

My hands – with one now released – went to his cheek, caressing it softly, and behind his head to support it. He never responded to the kiss, and I didn't think he would anyway. So when I released him, I quickly apologized. "This is what's going on. You've become so precious to me that it scares me. I was afraid to be rejected if I came too close because I know my feelings must not be returned. And since I don't know how to deal with these feelings to stay with you like a friend, I thought that getting away from you would be the best thing to do, but it seems it did nothing besides worrying you. I'm really sorry, but really, I love you so much. Now that it's said, you can reject me, I will understand if you do. I –"

"Kratos?" I didn't notice that as I was pouring out excuses, Yuan was listening vaguely with a dreamy look on his face. I noticed it only when he cut me simply with my name, smiling softly at me. "Shut up and kiss me!" I was left speechless immediately. What… what did he just say? Had I really heard well? He wasn't rejecting me, he wasn't throwing insults at me that I would have greatly deserved? He was accepting me. With this simple little sentence, he had just told me my feelings were shared.

This time, I smiled like never before as the news was making its way in me. He loved me like I loved him; I didn't have anything to hide anymore in fear of being rejected, because it would never happen!

My smile was so dazzling that it left Yuan speechless with a lightly stunned expression. Never had I felt so happy before, except for my wedding and Lloyd's birth that both equaled this moment. And without thinking more, I kissed him again tenderly. I felt Yuan's lips open slightly and I took the opportunity to slip my tongue between them and deepen the kiss without shame. He tasted sugary and I took great delight in his delicious flavor.

This time, he circled my neck with his arms, pressing our bodies together with an irrepressible happiness. And even as we were sharing a tender kiss, I still couldn't believe the luck and happiness that were befalling me.

His hands slid softly on my neck, caressing my skin, giving me shivers and making me want more. As for my own that was stroking his cheek, it went lower to his hip. Our kiss went on and on, as if breathing wasn't so important. Well, not enough to break it.

However, we were obliged to do it and I was the one to pull back to allow us to breath. My head was spinning and I wanted more, so much more. My lips caressed the skin of his jaw before sliding on his neck where I left fleeting kisses up to his ear. Yuan moaned softly with pleasure, tilting his head to the side to leave me more space. I immediately took the opportunity to nibble his earlobe and it took his breath away as a long shiver of pleasure was traveling through his body. I smiled softly at the thought I was feeling about every last reaction he had to my little attentions. His heart was beating faster, I could feel it under my hand that had unconsciously leaned on his chest. "Kratos." He let out in a soft moan, leaning towards me to feel even more of my kisses and nibbles.

My lips went from his ear to his cheek, only to stop at his right eye. I pressed my lips at the corner there in the tenderest of attentions to show him how much he was precious to me. Not only for his body, but for his entire being that I had fallen in love with – I had to admit – since the very first moment. Then, as his fingers intertwined with my own on his hip, I kissed him again with passion, our tongues playing with the other. A teasing fight went on between them, to determine which one was the strongest, which one would dominate, but there never was any winner. We were on equal standing. Or maybe was it because we didn't pay it too much attention? I was completely lost in this true moment of happiness, I never wanted it to end. However, my hopes were in vain and the moment shattered when I felt Yuan's fingers glide down on my torso until they reached my waist and slipped under my shirt. This time, my mind took completely control and I broke this magical moment by stopping the kiss, taking back my breath and pulling back a little from Yuan's embrace.

"Kratos?" He called me softly while looking at me with incomprehension and hurt eyes. I diverted my eyes, feeling terrible for all that just happened. I couldn't believe I had let myself be driven this far by my desires. Didn't I have taken my distances from my friend because I didn't want to hurt him? Even if he returned my feelings? "I can't." I said lowly with a guilty expression, not daring to face Yuan anymore.

The suffering already visible in the eyes of the man I loved only aggravated. "Why?" He asked me in a begging voice and guilt only worsened inside me.

I looked at him again and seeing his expression gave me the irresistible urge to take him in my arms to comfort him. "I can't because you are so precious to me." I whispered while taking his face between my hands with gentleness. "If something was to happen to you because of me, if Yggdrasil came to hear of it and hurt you… I could never forgive myself." I softly whispered and pulled my hands away, looking elsewhere again. I felt so terrible making him suffer like this.

He grabbed the sleeve of my shirt and sought my gaze. "Didn't you understand yet that it would never be your fault? If we start a relationship, it would be of my own will and mine only. I will bear the consequences; you don't have to feel guilty about it!" He exclaimed in a strong voice and I sighed softly.

"Think about it for a second." I said calmly. "If Yggdrasil would hurt me because I decided to become more intimate with you, how would you react? How would you feel?" I made him understand my point of view and felt him stiffen as he was imagining the situation. He grimaced lightly and muttered something that seemed like "you're cheating…", even though I didn't understand the rest. He lifted his eyes again. "I – I would have let you make your own choices and would have accepted you!" He exclaimed, but his conviction was poorly enthusiastic. I had a bitter smile. "Yeah, I believe you." I declared with irony perceptible in my voice. Of course, I wanted to believe him, but I knew perfectly well that he had felt exactly what I was feeling right now in the moment he had put himself in my place.

I put my hands on his shoulders and looked in his eyes this time. "Yuan, I can't, I can't allow myself to let you suffer. I love you too much, you are so precious to me." This time, my friend lowered a harsh gaze on the ground as he was seemingly searching for a solution with pain and anger. "You're saying I can't expect attentions on your behalf? And that I can't give you some too?" He asked me in a voice that seemed muffled and I felt my heart squeeze at that. My lips stretched in a sad smile and I pressed them against his forehead. "That, I can. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from doing it anyway, now that I know our feelings are shared. But only when we'll be completely alone, and I can't go further than this. Please forgive me." My voice was saddened. I felt really bad having to control myself like this. But after all, I didn't want anything to hurt him.

And yet, it wasn't the only reason and I wasn't sure I had to tell him the second one. I was… defiled. Blood was staining my entire being, murder was dirtying my hands, and crime was chaining me to the yakuza. Yuan was pure, he was from a world on the opposite of mine. Did I really have the right to even put a hand on him? Did I have the right to touch him like I just did? I couldn't drag him down in my world further than I did with the investigation. It would be pure madness. I had no right to dirty him and it was the main reason why I didn't want to engage anything with him. I didn't have the right.

Yuan still didn't lift his gaze from the ground when he finally answered me. "I… I need to think about this, I need time to assimilate." He muttered as he brusquely stood, still not looking at me. "I'm going to sleep on the sofa tonight." He said and I felt my heart clench again. Yet, it was the best solution, right? We had to take our distances, right? "Are you sure you want to sleep in the living room?" I asked softly. "I can sleep there for the night and leave you your bed." I deserved it anyway, for having hurt him today once again. I seemed to do only that these days, hurt him. I really was a fool, a cruel being to make the man I loved suffer so much.

He shook his head. "No, it's okay. The sofa is good." And without saying more, he went into his bedroom to pick up his belongings before returning in the living room with a pillow and a blanket.

I sighed again, culpability winning over me again. I couldn't stop myself from hoping he wouldn't be angry against me eternally, even if he should.

* * *

The next morning, I was the first to wake up, and despite the fact that the evening had ended in a flop, I couldn't stop myself from being happy, even if a tiny part of me was bitter. Yuan loved me, like I loved him. I couldn't believe it hadn't been a dream!

So I rose up this morning by noticing something was different. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew it wasn't a bad thing. In any case, it wasn't worth I search for what it was; I would know it soon enough when it would present itself to me.

I noticed that Yuan was still sleeping so I decided to make something to eat for both of us. The smell of food was surely going to wake him up anyway. And indeed, as I was cooking some eggs on the stove, I felt two arms circle my waist from behind with tenderness and squeeze me tightly. Yuan's face looked over my shoulder and I turned my head lightly to look at him and smiled fondly at him.

I then knew what was different. A weight had dropped from my shoulders. I didn't have to think about avoiding Yuan anymore, to avoid any contact, any conversation. It felt really good.

"Did you… sleep well?" I asked with hesitation while remembering suddenly that Yuan had gone to sleep under the anger and pain. Yet, he seemed to feel better this morning. Maybe my hopes of being forgiven weren't in vain?

He nodded. "Yeah, thank you." He didn't add anything, but I saw in his eyes that he wanted to say something else. I didn't push him, however, and finished cooking the eggs before putting them in two plates, giving one to Yuan as he was releasing me.

I was about to sit down, but my friend stopped me. "Kratos, I… about yesterday, let's start anew, okay? Let's forget the last part, please." He whispered with a gaze veiled with sadness and my guilt came back to the surface. "My conditions will stay the same." I warned him with seriousness and his sad gaze changed for determination. "I know." I softly nodded before smiling gently. "Okay, let's forget about it." I didn't know what Yuan had in mind. Maybe he had the intention of making me change my mind, but it wasn't about to happen. I didn't want to defile him; I didn't want to hurt him.

We arrived at the headquarters together for, strangely, one of the first times. After all, either Yuan didn't have to work here because he was on a mission for Yggdrasil, or I was getting to work earlier because of the long work that was awaiting me for an entire day. But today, I had decided to wait for us to go together. It was… a start.

As we were walking down the hallways, we met none other than Raine. Here, it was different than Origaki; the scientist was free of her movements in the headquarters since she had accepted to work for Yggdrasil on her own "free will". It was advantageous for her, since she would be able to help us in our investigations if need be.

While seeing us both, she stopped suddenly. We didn't have the time to say a word, to make a move, that she suddenly exclaimed; "Finally! It took you long enough!" How she had guessed, we would never know. However, I felt my cheeks burn up and I barely stopped myself from blushing, keeping my impassible mask as a protection. In Yuan's case, on the other hand… His face was completely red and he was looking elsewhere, angered with himself for being so easy to read. Raine didn't seem ashamed of it, since she continued on with a; "Now, don't be like that! It's marvelous that you're finally –" I cut her quickly by placing my hand on her mouth , looking severely at her. "I'm sorry to tell you, Miss Raine, that it is not the case." I seethed between my teeth, taking care to say the last words slowly. "And it is not words safe to say in this place." I added to make her understand she was indeed right, but that for the safety of the lives of the three of us, it was best not to reveal anything.

She pushed my hand away with her own and looked at me with contempt. She still didn't like me, it seemed. "Very well, I understand." She sighed and turned towards Yuan with a soft smile. She was about to speak to him when a mass of hair the color of flame came on to us.

Zelos, who was coming towards us, stopped at some distance from us to glance at Yuan and me before throwing a dazzling mocking smile at our attention. "So, the _dog _and the _traitor_ are getting along more and more!" He exclaimed with a laugh. "I knew it was going to be amusing to watch you both, but I didn't know you would make it _so _amusing!" I watched him with unpleasantness, my arms now folded on my chest. "What do you want, Zelos?" I asked brusquely to make him spill the beans. The teen snickered, not seeming bothered by my anger all too evident. "Father asked me to go fetch the dog. And if you want my advice, he'd better run for it!" His laughter increased and to see him so happy was making me uneasy. It wasn't good.

I let my gaze wander on Yuan and he threw me a reassuring smile. "Don't worry; it's going to be okay." And without waiting for an answer and ignoring Zelos, he went away in the direction of Yggdrasil's office.

"In that case, I'm going to begin my work." I muttered more for me than for the other two, and turning around, I went in the direction of my own office, letting the poor Raine alone to be harassed by the stupid Zelos.

Later in the morning, as I was concentrating on a file on my computer, someone knocked on my door and I told the person to enter. I wasn't so surprised to see Presea enter my office and I put all my attention on her, hoping she would bring me information that would put us on a real lead this time. "Hi." I said and she nodded before giving me a new list, going straight to the point. This was Presea and I had to admit I liked that about her. There were never any unnecessary words or actions with her. "This is the list with the new names of clients I just discovered. You should look at it; I think it will interest you this time." And without another word, she nodded again to wish me good bye before leaving my office.

Intrigued, I took the report and began to read it until my eyes fell on a name that froze the blood in my veins.

Kvar.

So it was him! He was the murderer; he was the one who had killed my wife and son! There was no doubt about it! Why? The reason was simple. He was one of the three more suspicious, one of the three people closer to Yggdrasil. And since I knew for a fact that Pronyma and Zelos had never bought datura, he was the only suspect.

Unfortunately, this meager lead wouldn't be enough to prove Kvar was the murderer. I had to find something stronger.

But what?

* * *

**A/N : **And here you have it! Kratos finally found the murderer of his family! How will he do now to get proof?

But that's not important xD Well, compared to the fact that finally, _finally_, Kratos and Yuan admitted their love for each other! Isn't that a great Christmas gift? Hu hu! Ok, So Kratos is an idiot for not wanting to do much with Yuan, but that's just details. They are both the idiots that we love so much 3

By the way, if you'd like to see, I made a fan art of when Yuan is disguised as a woman and they're about to go to the club. It's not the actual scene because I drew it before Little Rosebud wrote it, but even so, it's still the same kind lol. It's right here : http: // saenda. deviantart. com/ art / Acting-as-a-woman-147554672 (without all the spaces, of course).

Well, we wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Hope that you all get some rest and have fun holidays!

See you on the next chapters!


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **Hello everyone! We're back with chapter 16! We've come a long way now, but there is still many more chapters to come!

I'd like to thank all the readers that kept on reading this story so far. We're really grateful and hope you'll stay with us until the end.

But enough of my rantings; enjoy this chapter!!

* * *

**Chapter 16**

I didn't know what was going to happen when I asked him what was wrong with him recently, why he was avoiding my presence. I stayed completely frozen when I suddenly felt his lips on mine. My world exploded in millions of fragments as he was claiming my lips in a tender kiss, trying to convey to me the feelings that were torturing him for a long time.

Kratos... Kratos was kissing me! It was surely a dream, I couldn't believe it!

And yet, the sensation of the kiss stayed on my lips long after he had pulled back and I knew it had been real. I could only look at him with stupor as he was ranting on and making excuses, thinking I was about to reject him. I didn't understand half of what he said, but I understood one thing for certain: he loved me. That realisation filled me with an uncontrollable happiness that threatened to rise to the surface.

I felt the need to make him shut up, felt it in my entire being. I said his name softly and that simple word stopped him. He looked at me with what seemed to be worry. I smiled softly at him before ending my thought. "Shut up and kiss me!"

His worry soon morphed into stupor and it took him a long time before realizing what I had said. And when he did, a wide smile made its way on his lips and my heart jumped in my chest at this sight. I had never saw him smile this much, and I was the cause! His lips pressed against mine again and this time, I opened mine. Kratos took the opportunity to slid his tongue inside and deepen our kiss. I returned the kiss feverishly and my arms circled his neck.

When he broke our kiss, his lips slid on my neck and I couldn't retain a moan of pleasure as he was kissing a sensible spot. A long shiver ran through me when he nibbled my ear.

I couldn't believe that it was all real, that Kratos was claiming me as his, that he loved me in return! And still, his touch was real, his kisses leaving a trail of fire on my skin. He kissed me again, this time more passionately, which only fed the fire that was devouring my soul. I wanted to feel Kratos closer to me, so I slid my fingers under his shirt to feel the heat of his naked skin.

At this, Kratos broke our embrace and turned away brusquely. I knew immediately that I had done a mistake, but I couldn't stop myself from feeling hurt by his attitude. Why was he pulling away now when he was the one who had started all this?

When he explained the reason of why he was pushing me away now, I knew he wasn't telling me everything. It was totally stupid!! How could he protect me by keeping me at a distance?! Did he really believe that Yggdrasil would wait to have a proof that we had an intimate relationship to harm us?! Never. By seeing how he had reacted the other day, he only needed to be suspicious.

So why?! Why was he refusing any contact, why was he showing me what I could obtain, but that I would never have?! It was so unfair.

Angry and outraged, I refused to sleep with Kratos that night. I needed to think, and to do it, Kratos had to be far from me. I had the tendency of ceasing to think rationally when he was close to me. I declined his offer to take the sofa. I wouldn't sleep much, anyway.

The night had helped me to think. And my thoughts had led me to one point in particular; it was out of question that I let him do as he pleased, furthermore when I thought back on the reason he had given me. Why did he accept to have a relation with Anna, even though knowing it would put her in danger? I didn't understand and it was annoying me. He had to hide something else from me. In any case, I would try to make him change his mind. I didn't know how yet, but it was certain he would give up. I was really stubborn and I always obtained what I wanted.

It was with that idea in mind that I got up that morning, finding Kratos in the midst of preparing breakfast. I circled his waist with my arms and got up on my tiptoes to look above his shoulder. I was rewarded with another smile that bolted my heart again. I begged him to forget our quarrel, anything but the happiness of knowing our feelings were shared. He took that time to recall me his conditions would not change. Well, that was what _he_ was thinking. We would see if he would keep his conviction for long.

* * *

For the first time since we knew each other, we went together to the headquarters. It wasn't really cautious, but strangely, Kratos didn't care about it. I would probably receive my new mission today, in the morning. I had thought it would be a good idea to go see Presea before, since I haven't thanked her yet for having pushed me to forgive Kratos.

On the way to Kratos' office, we met none other than Raine. I hadn't seen her for several days now and had almost forgotten her spontaneous and franc nature until she exclaimed; "Finally! It took you long enough!" My face automatically took a peony shade, understanding straight away that she was talking about the feelings Kratos and I were having for one another. Seeing how she had guessed it so well, I got the impression I was too easy to read… When she continued on, Kratos cut her up sharply, a gesture that I approved of. It wasn't the place to talk about this. Furthermore since only several seconds later, Zelos appeared in front of us and my mood changed immediately, as Kratos'. The latter made him know it quickly, asking him brusquely what he wanted. The snicker of the teenager made shivers ran down my back, especially when he told us Yggdrasil wanted to see me on the double. It wasn't good. I saw that Kratos was thinking the same thing, at the gaze he threw me. I assured him everything was going to be all right before going away in the direction of Yggdrasil's office, my heart beating faster. I had a bad feeling, a _really _bad feeling.

When I entered Yggdrasil's office, I immediately knew that my feeling had been right. On each side of the door was standing a man with an impressive built that seemed to be there to make sure I couldn't get out without their permission. I was immediately on my guard, but didn't show it. Yggdrasil was sitting behind his desk, his eternally mocking smile on his lips. I walked to him and bowed respectfully before him, even if I was far from feeling respect for him... It was the contrary, after the way he dared treat _my _Kratos.

"You wanted to see me, Lord Yggdrasil?"

Straight away, a malicious light appeared in Yggdrasil's eyes. It couldn't mean anything good.

"Indeed. It's about your last two reports." He answered coldly and I had to stop myself from swallowing under the nervousness.

My reports hadn't been enough for him? I didn't understand. Yet, until now, I had carried out my missions exactly like he had asked me.

"If you need precisions, I'll be glad to give them to you, but I think I detailed everything in the reports I gave to Mr. Aurion..."

As soon as he heard Kratos' name, his eyes creased dangerously. I knew then that I had made a mistake. He stood up and came to me nonchalantly. My eyes stayed on him as he was circling me as a predator would do his prey.

"I didn't call you for that. You should know that I don't like to receive the reports with delay." His cold and calculated voice gave me shivers, but I stayed calm.

"I'm really sorry, but the circumstances made in sort that I couldn't succeed my missions in the time limit. I beg you to pardon me."

Yggdrail stopped in front of me and caught my chin harshly. His cruel gaze locked with mine.

"You want me to forgive you? If it had been the first time, I would have been more inclined to do it. But I see now that you'll never learn without a punishment." He dangerously said before letting go of my face and walking to his desk.

I didn't have time to understand the meaning of his words when the two men standing by the door went to me and immobilized me quickly by catching my arms.

"What? No, let me go!!" I exclaimed, struggling against their hold, but they were way stronger than me. Yggdrasil searched through a drawer of his desk and soon lifted an object in front of my horrified eyes. A whip. He walked slowly in my direction again.

"So, how many strikes should I give, hum? Five?" He asked with amusement. I struggled even more.

"No, stop!! I did what you asked from me, what do you want more?!" I yelled without being able to hide the terror in my voice. The two men forced me brutally on my knees. I saw the menacing figure of Yggdrasil hovering over me. "I said I don't tolerate delays. And just for protesting, Sano, it will be ten strikes. And if you scream, it will be five more. However, if you beg me to stop like the pitiful dog that you are, I could always decide to reduce the number of strikes."

At his words, the terror I was feeling made place to outrage. How dare he treat me like a vulgar animal?! And he thought I was about to beg for his pity?! He could always dream!!

"I'll never beg you." I said with conviction, defying him with my gaze.

Yggdrasil's amusement was soon replaced by irritation. He had seen I wasn't the kind of men to give up easily.

"Oh, you have so much pride!! It will be even more amusing to break it. It will be fifteen strikes." He said in an icy voice.

He made a move with his head and one of the two giants brusquely raised my shirt to expose my back, as the other forced my head down. Yggdrasil's demented smile widened and he positioned himself behind me so that I couldn't see him anymore. I felt myself panic at the thought of what was awaiting me.

"Let's see how much time you'll hold on before begging me." His cruel voice came to me clearly.

The whip cracked in the air and without so much as a warning, it brutally cut into my skin for the first time. I clenched my teeth together under the sudden pain. Yggdrasil laughed cruelly.

"I always wanted to try this toy... and you are the perfect victim."

Hearing his words, a light went on in my head. The real reason for this punishment wasn't the delay in my reports, but his jealousy towards the relation he was suspecting me to have with Kratos. So that was it. He wanted to humiliate me and show me that Kratos was his. He could always dream!! I would never give Kratos over to a man that made him suffer so much.

His irritation increased when I stayed silent. The whip went down again on my back, leaving a bloody trail behind. I had to bite my lip harshly to stop myself form screaming.

Third strike. My nails sank in the palms of my hands until they drew blood.

Fourth strike. The whip bit my skin at the same place than a previous strike and my back arched under the pain.

Fifth strike. My abused lip broke and I tried to concentrate on that pain to forget the agonizing pain of my back.

From the sixth strike, I stopped counting. I wasn't conscious anymore of the demented laugh of my torturer, or of the strong hold of the two men on my wrists. I was only feeling the agonizing pain as the skin of my back opened and bled under the repeated aggression of the whip. I wanted it to stop; I wanted it more than I ever desired something. I would prefer death over enduring this torture any longer. Despite it all, I didn't beg. I would never give him this satisfaction, ever.

I didn't know how I managed not to scream under that torture. But I couldn't stop moans of pain to pass my lips, sounds from which my torturer took a great thrill. After what had seemed an eternity, Yggdrasil ceased his torture and the two men let me go. I fell harshly to the floor and the movement painfully echoed in my back. I heard Yggdrasil's steps go around me. I tried to get up, but he was quicker than me. He leaned over me and gripped my hair, lifting my face towards his. My breathing irregular, I tried to concentrate my gaze clouded in pain on his face.

"Really, I'm surprised, Sano. You didn't give out! What a strong attitude! Or maybe it's only stubbornness..." He mocked me and let go of me before standing up again.

"I hope that has taught you a lesson. I want to see you here tomorrow morning without fault to receive your next mission. You better not deceive me again this time..." He said, the threat clearly defined in his voice. He turned his back on me and the two men immediately put me harshly to my feet. I grimaced when my shirt rode back and brushed against my bleeding wounds. They dragged me to the exit of Yggdrasil's office before throwing me outside roughly. I managed to stand up with difficulty by taking support on the wall. There, a smile without joy appeared on my lips. I understood Yggdrasil's warning perfectly well. If I didn't cease to see Kratos like I was doing, he would torture me again. The problem was there. I couldn't possibly forget everything about Kratos, he had become my reason for living. I pushed away those alarming thoughts. I had to go back to my place before Kratos sees me. If possible, I didn't want him to be aware of what Yggdrasil had made me go through, even if I know it would be impossible. I wouldn't be able to hide my suffering for a long time, I feared. I staggered through the hallways, trying to get to the entrance of the headquarters by avoiding the way passing by Kratos' office. My last wish was to worry him. Even walking was painful as every tremor was running through my abused back.

Unfortunately for me, luck wasn't on my side. As I was turning the corner of the hallway leading to the entry, I saw Kratos closing the door of some room behind him, a pile of folders in his arms. Panicked, I stayed frozen in the hallway, watching Kratos who was walking towards me, his gaze lost in one of his folders. It was only when there was two meters left between us that he noticed the presence of someone in front of him. He lifted his eyes and straight away, a worried expression took hold of his face. He must have seen that something was off with me. I tried to calm my breathing the best I could, that was irregular because of the vivid pain in my back.

"Sano? Are you okay?" He asked and I diverted my eyes, knowing they would betray the pain that was running through me.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just... tired a little. I'm going home to rest." I lied while giving a hint of a weak smile. I tried to walk past Kratos with a step that seemed normal. But Kratos wasn't fooled easily. He caught my arm and dragged me into a storage room, closing the door behind us and ignoring my protestations. Putting a hand under my chin, he turned my face towards his and stared at my eyes. He frowned and a displeased expression appeared on his face.

"You think I will believe that?! Your face is completely white!! And your lip, what happened?!" He exclaimed strongly on a tone that asked for answers and I quickly pulled free from his grasp, avoiding his inquisitive gaze.

"Nothing happened! Stop worrying for nothing." I replied on a brusque tone.

Without giving him time to add anything, I made a move to get out of the storage room, but a wave of pain especially strong went through my back and I lost my footing. My tripping didn't pass unnoticed. Kratos caught me in time and I fell in his arms. His hand accidently took support on my abused back. This time, I couldn't stop myself from crying out in pain. Kratos jumped and his hands left my back to grip my arms.

"Sano?!" He asked, alarmed by my reaction and my face torn in suffering. He must have felt something was really wrong since he lifted a shaking hand in front of his eyes and they widened when he saw it was stained with blood. With _my _blood. His worried gaze came back on me.

"You're bleeding?! Your back, what..." He asked with a shaking voice and wasn't able to finish his sentence. He must surely already know what happened. He wasn't stupid. I buried my face in his torso. I couldn't bear his gaze any longer.

"It seems like... I did... another mistake." I joked weakly, trying to dissipate my uneasiness. Kratos' hold on my arms tightened. He leaned over me until I could feel his breath near my ear.

"I'm going to take you home and take a look at your back." He whispered in a calm voice, but I could catch the worry he was trying to hide. I shook my head swiftly, despite the fact I was clutching to him like a desperate man, my sight clouded by the vivid pain.

"No, you can't... You've got work to do." I whispered with difficulty. I didn't want Kratos to be punished because of me.

"You idiot!" Kratos spit out and I jumped, lifting my gaze on his serious face. His expression softened when he locked his gaze with mine. "How can you even propose that I leave you alone with wounds like that?! No, I'm taking you back and I don't want to hear you protesting." He said and I nodded, not having the strength to protest anyway. He put an arm securely around my waist and helped me to walk. When he made sure the hallway was deserted, we left the storage room and went to the exit. In the end, it was a good thing that Kratos saw me. I don't think I would have been able to get to my apartment in my state.

* * *

When we arrived at my home, Kratos didn't waste time. He led me gently to the bedroom and made me sit on my bed. His hands took the rim of my shirt and lifted it slowly, trying in vain not to brush my wounds. I lifted my arms to allow him to get rid of my shirt and that simple movement made me clench my teeth under the pain. Kratos missed a breath when he saw the state of my back.

"My God. Yggdrasil is the one who did this?!" He whispered with an unconcealed rage.

"... He did it himself. I think he really doesn't like me." I replied with false amusement. Kratos went to face me and brushed away a bang of my hair that was glued to my forehead. His fingers seemed cold and he noticed it too. He put his hand on my burning forehead, only to pull it away immediately. He seemed to become alarmed.

"It's not good, you have a fever... Lay down on the bed. I won't be long." He said softly.

He quickly went to the bathroom and began to rummage through it. I did like he told me, lying slowly on my stomach and putting my head in the crook of my folded arms, letting my gaze stay on the entrance of the bathroom.

Kratos soon got out with a bowl of water, clothes and a bottle of cream. He joined me on the bed and carefully put down the bowl of water next to me. He plunged a cloth in the cold water and wrung it before putting it on my burning forehead. The cold liquid was soothing me a little and I closed my eyes. I felt Kratos sit carefully on me, his legs on each side of my hips. He wet another cloth and began to clean my wounds with the more gentleness he could. I smothered a moan and buried my face in my arms. I tried to focus on the sensation of Kratos' weight on me to forget the painful sensation of the cloth on my wounds. When he had finished, he leaned over me and caressed my hair softly.

"Yuan..." He whispered and I opened my tired eyes to look at him.

"I have to disinfect your wounds. If I don't do it, they'll become infected. You'll have to bear to pain, I'm really sorry." He said on an apologizing tone.

I nodded and closed my eyes again.

"...Get over with it. I'll bear with it somehow." I whispered with difficulty.

I heard Kratos open the bottle of disinfectant and waited in silence. Soon, Kratos' fingers applied a cold substance on one of my numerous wounds. After only a couple of seconds, it began to burn atrociously and I let out a moan of pain. It was so much painful than when Yggdrasil was welting me. It was like someone was sinking a razor blade in my flesh again and again. I squeezed the sheets until my knuckles went white. Kratos applied the cream on a second wound and the burning pain intensified so much that I cried out this time. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I sobbed under the intense pain. Suddenly, Kratos delicately took my hand in his and intertwined our fingers, caressing the back of my hand with his thumb. He dropped small kisses in the hollow of my neck.

"It's going to be okay, you have to hang on... It will be over soon." He tried to convince me in a tortured voice that made me realize it was killing him to see me in agony.

I didn't have the strength to answer. I kept my eyes closed and tried to concentrate on Kratos' attentions as all I wanted was to sink into unconsciousness, everything to get away from this intolerable pain.

Several minutes later, which seemed to me like an eternity, Kratos had finished treating my wounds and sat next to me, still holding my hand in his. The pain had lessened a little, but it was still tearing me apart and my now silent tears were still running down my cheeks. Kratos caressed my hair with tenderness, pain clearly visible in his eyes. He was hurting for me.

"You're lucky he did it himself... Usually, one of his men is in charge of this punishment and he's known for ripping out strips of flesh." He whispered and I managed a sad smile.

"Such gentleness coming from him..." I sneered. But Kratos' words made me realise that Yggdrasil really made me pay because I was too close to him. Otherwise, why the special treatment?

"What reason did he gave you for doing this?" He asked me darkly after a moment of silence.

"He said that... that it was because I hadn't respected the deadline two times..." I revealed, studying Kratos' reaction. I saw him frown and his pupils darkened.

"It's a lie, isn't it?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Kratos' gaze softened and he tenderly wiped a tear that was rolling down my cheek.

"True. He never acted this barbaric before for a stupid reason like that." He revealed, his voice tinged by furor. The hand that was holding mine tightened its hold.

"...I'm sorry. He's making you pay because he thinks we have a relation more intimate than spy-superior." Kratos said in a broken voice and I knew he was taking all the blame on himself again. He must think I was suffering because of him, and it was true in a sense, but it was a choice I had made since a long time ago. If I had to die for someone, I would gladly do it for Kratos, for the man I loved more than anything in the world. I managed to laugh softly between my tears.

"Ah ah ah. But it's what we have, right?" I whispered, plunging my imploring gaze into his eyes.

Kratos stayed silent for a long while, but even if he wasn't talking, I could see the emotions succeed in his eyes. He soon looked at me with tenderness.

"Yeah, of course." He whispered in a sad voice. I closed my eyes when a wave of vivid pain ran through me again.

"I think that... the day will be long." I said in a laborious voice.

Kratos' hand ceased to caress my hair. I lifted my eyes on him only to see him lay down next to me. With care, he pulled me to him so my head could lay on his shoulder. One of his arms circled my waist, taking care not to brush my back, as the other resumed caressing my hair. He kissed my forehead and after a small moment of hesitation, he lifted my face and gently seized my lips.

"Don't worry, I will stay with you. It's the least I can do..." His voice was tinged with remorse, but I didn't have the strength to scold him for that. Being near him like that was making me feel better, like he was keeping a part of my pain far away.

But I knew that this time, I couldn't escape the pain. I was condemned to spend the rest of the day and the night to suffer. But as long as Kratos would hold me in his arms, I knew I would hold out. Yggdrasil would never have the satisfaction of seeing me broken. Never.

* * *

The night had gone one like I had predicted. I had been unable to find sleep, even though the pain had lessened a little compared than during the day. Kratos had fallen asleep at one point as the tiredness won over him, but he hadn't loosened his embrace. Looking at his sleeping face had been a good distraction and time had passed as quickly as it could, under the circumstances.

The sun's light was getting through the curtains and when I looked at the hour, I remembered I couldn't permit myself to stay in bed today, even if I needed it badly. Yggdrasil wanted to meet me and I didn't dare imagine what he would do to me if I didn't show up. I had the feeling Yggdrasil had worse tortures in store for me.

I untangled myself from Kratos' embrace despite myself and sat up slowly, grimacing under the sudden pain this movement was bringing me. My movement awoke Kratos, who sat up like me, seemingly tired but still alert. His gaze soon fell on my back and his expression became severe. I ignored him and got up on shaking legs before making slowly for the kitchen. However, I didn't go far, because Kratos caught my arm and turned me around to face him.

"And where exactly do you think you're going?" He scolded me and my gaze defied him.

"At the headquarters, where else? Yggdrasil asked to see me this morning to give me my next mission." I answered and saw his gaze darken straight away.

"You can't go in your condition! I'm going to talk to Yggdrasil and make him change his mind." He replied firmly and pulled me towards the bedroom. This time, I didn't let him. I freed my arm from his grasp, which made me grimace as the sudden movement echoed in my back. "And you think it's a good idea?!" I replied strongly. "It's a plan for Yggdrasil to get angry at you and try again to... to..." I couldn't finish my sentence as worry mixed with furor. I didn't want him to have another chance to take it out on Kratos, to touch him with his filthy hands. Kratos took my face between his hands and got closer until I could feel his breathing on my lips.

"It will not happen. I will not let him." He answered with conviction, but I knew very well that he wasn't sure of his words, like I was. My hands found his own and squeezed them. "You know like me that I'm right! Don't give him another reason to suspect our relationship. And if I don't go, he won't think about it twice to make us both pay." Kratos opened his mouth to talk again, but I cut him off this time by closing the distance between us, claiming his lips in a short kiss. I broke the contact before putting my forehead in the hollow of his neck, letting my arms circle his waist. "Please, trust me... It's the only way, I have to go." I whispered softly. Kratos took many seconds before returning my embrace, letting out a long sigh. "All right. But I'm accompanying you to the headquarters, and not before I disinfect your wounds again." Only at the mention of having to disinfect my wounds, I grimaced at the memory of the pain I felt yesterday. "I would prefer not." I grumbled and Kratos threw me a glance that told me I had no choice. So I resigned myself to suffer once again.

One hour later, once the pain in my back had calmed as much as possible, we went to the headquarters, but this time I got out of the car before Kratos. I didn't need us to be seen together two mornings in a row. It wouldn't improve our situation.

Once inside, I directly made for Yggdrasil's office, trying to walk in a normal way that wouldn't betray the constant pain I was feeling.

I stayed standing before the door of Yggdrasil's office for some time, building a calm mask before knocking against the door. There wasn't any response, but I still opened the door, having the impression he would still be in there.

I was right. Yggdrasil was sitting behind his desk, his cold eyes fixed on me, his eternally mocking smile on his lips, his cheek lying in the palm of his hand. I moved forward with the most confidence possible and bowed before this hateful man. "I came like you asked me, Lord Yggdrasil." My voice was cold, without emotions, which didn't seem to please my "superior". Surely he would have preferred to see the results of his torture, preferred to see me suffer. He stood up and walked around his desk, looking at me with a nasty look. It seemed he wanted to hit me, but he was refraining his urges. "Seeing your more than defiant attitude, should I understand your punishment wasn't enough?" He hissed and I supported his gaze, trying not to show all the hatred I was feeling for that man in that very moment. I kept a polite tone as I was answering; "Your punishment was more than enough. I won't disappoint you anymore, thus the reason why I came to inquire about my next mission."

It was hard for me to say such things, but I didn't have a choice. I couldn't let him see my suffering, nor the hatred I felt for him. He still wasn't satisfied, but he didn't press the subject and gave me a file in a disdainful gesture. I took it carefully and opened it. Two pictures caught my attention. The first one was of a man in his thirties with short ebony hair. He was displaying an aura of authority. On the second picture was a man way older, with grey hair, but his features strangely resembled the other man's. Both didn't seem to have Japanese origins, but rather Chinese.

"The two men on the pictures are Jiang Zhao and his son, Jiang Liu. They are the head of a Chinese mafia that just settled here, which bears the name of the Jiang clan. Such originality, really." He added sarcastically and I didn't dare reply. "Usually, I wouldn't worry too much about it, but the rumours that get to me say that they have an abnormally high number of members, and they seem to rally more each day. So here's your next mission; I want you to infiltrate them and bring back the most information you can find on them; their means of working, their goals, everything. I don't care how you will proceed. I want results." He said brutally and my gaze never left him as he came to sit back behind his desk. He looked at me for a long time, which made me uneasy. "And how much time do I dispose of this time?" I asked on a neutral tone, wanting to break the uncomfortable silence. This time, a mocking smile took hold of Yggdrasil's face. "This time, I'll be more generous. You have three weeks to complete your mission." I looked at him with suspicion, knowing perfectly well that he hadn't said everything, if that smile was any indication. "But since you already disappointed me two times, I will utter some conditions. Firstly, you will have to do a report _each _week. And secondly, you will give them to me directly." At his words, I froze in place, a feeling of dread washing over me at the idea of what it could mean. He wanted to drive me apart from Kratos! It wouldn't have bothered me too much usually, if it wasn't for the fact I would have to spend more time alone with Yggdrasil, and that was what scared me.

My reaction didn't pass unnoticed. Yggdrasil laughed maliciously. "I got the impression the presence of _some_ of my employees are too big of a distraction for you. I need to teach you your place." This was too much and I clenched my fists in anger until my knuckles were white, but my face stayed expressionless. Yggdrasil stood up again and closed the distance between us, gripping my hair roughly to make sure he had my complete attention. My gaze defied his. "You're _nothing_, Sano. Nothing but a little dog that must do as I say. And a dog has no right to touch his master's possessions, you got that?" He whispered near my face and I had so much difficulty to net let anger took hold of me and stop myself from hitting him. But he wasn't finished with me. "Do you know what happens to disobedient dogs or those who have no utility anymore?" His smile widened and became infinitly cruel. I tried to calm my breathing. His lips came closer to my ear to whisper in it and my eyes widened in horror. "I kill them in the most cruel fashion, taking a great delight in their cries of suffering and their pleas. Sometimes I burn them alive, sometimes I dismember them, or I rip out their heart from their body still alive... I always torture them slowly, I break their will until they beg death to end their unending torments."

On this, he released me and I tried to stop the trembling of my body. He was crazy!! I was terrified because I knew it wasn't simply words thrown into the air. He really loved seeing the suffering of others and it was leaving him unfazed! And his message had been clear enough; it was the fate that awaited me if I continued to see Kratos. He snickered again and backed away until his back leaned against his deck. I saw in his eyes that he was satisfied to see me shaken by furor and fear. Because I couldn't hide the terror in my eyes. "You can go now. But don't forget my warning!" He added in a sugary voice. It took me all of my will to bow before him before leaving quickly the office, his cold and cruel voice repeating in circles in my head, enough to make me go crazy.

I arrived exhausted to my home and the first thing I did was to empty the contents of my stomach in the toilet. What Yggdrasil had said had given me nausea. I couldn't believe someone could say such things, let alone do them! I stood up on shaking legs and had only one urge; laying on my bed and forget the meeting with Yggdrasil that was tormenting me. I was still shaking from fear at the memory of the words he had said. I went to the kitchen to get some sleeping pills and my gaze fell on a pile of files Kratos must have brought back with him in his haste yesterday. My curiosity won over me despite what had just happened and I approached the papers, taking them in my shaking hands. The majority of them were unfinished reports and lists of future orders. When I got to the last paper, my eyes fell on the list of Vharley's clients. I knew Kratos had asked Presea to follow him in secret, but I didn't know there had been results already! I looked at the list, until I stopped at a known name, put in evidence by a line of highlighter; Kvar. It seemed like Kratos had stopped his choice on him. This could only mean he must have a good reason to suspect him in particular. So it was my turn to act. Despite everything that happened, I was at least happy to know we probably had the culprit, which meant we were getting closer to our goal. All that was left now was to find a concrete proof. With this hope in mind, I swallowed the pills and went to collapse on my bed, falling asleep almost straight away.

* * *

I awoke slowly at the sensation of a hand softly caressing my hair. A smile on my lips, I opened my eyes to see Kratos leaning over me, his face tired and worried. He had removed his jacket and the collar of his white shirt was opened and he had rolled up his sleeves. He really seemed exhausted. I guessed it was late, if he had come back from work. When he saw I was awake, his lips stretched into a weak smile. "It seems you've had a hard day." He whispered softly and I closed my eyes again, enjoying the simple sensation of his hand in my hair. "I've seen better." I answered slowly. Silence went on after that and I knew Kratos was anxious to know how had gone on my meeting with Yggdrasil, but I didn't want to remember it now, to remember the state of furor and terror he had put me in. Kratos leaned even more towards me and kissed my forehead tenderly. "You must be hungry. I'm going to prepare something for you." On that, Kratos pulled his hand away and was about to stand up, but I didn't want him to go anywhere else than here. I held back his hand and sat up with difficulty. "No, I'm not hungry. Stay here, please." I whispered while clutching his shirt. Kratos didn't budge. He stayed frozen. "I need you..." I said in another whisper as my begging face came closer to Kratos'.

It had seemed like these last two days were only tinged with suffering and fear, so much that I was beginning to doubt I would stay alive long enough to stop Yggdrasil. I needed to feel Kratos to the depths of my soul, that he gives me the strength to go on. Seeing he wasn't moving, I took the initiative and put my lips on his. However, he responded to the kiss, slipping his tongue inside my opened lips, deepening the contact. I sighed in pleasure and my hands buried themselves in his hair as I was pressing my body against Kratos. Our kiss seemed to last an eternity and feed the insatiable fire that rose in me each time he was touching me and that made me unable to think.

My hands went down his back, but they didn't get very far. Kratos suddenly grabbed my shoulders and kept me at a distance, breaking our contact and looking at me with a hesitant gaze. "Yuan, it isn't reasonable. You're not feeling well right now and I already told you my conditions will not change." He explained calmly, which didn't stop me from getting angry. I pulled away from him and my gaze darkened. "I don't understand. You said you love me, but you refuse to touch me! Don't you see you're not protecting me more that way?" I said in a voice shaking with pain and anger. If he didn't see the reason he gave me didn't make sense, then he was an idiot. I clenched my fists on my thighs. Kratos reached a hand towards my face to caress my cheek, but I backed away swiftly. "Yuan –" He began but I stood up rapidly and got away from the bed, ignoring the pain that ran through my back in the same time. "Then why did you have a relation with Anna?! Why are you refusing me what you granted to her?!" I let out despite myself and barely contained the tears of rage that threatened to roll down my cheeks. I didn't miss the pain in Kratos' eyes when I said the name of his deceased wife, but I couldn't stop myself. It was so unfair! _She_ had been able to consume her love for Kratos, but I didn't have the right.

Kratos wanted to stand up to join me, but he seemed to change his mind. He must have felt that I was too upset and distressed and that nothing he would do or say could calm me. He buried a hand in his hair in a tired gesture. "I understand your anger, but try to understand me! I did a mistake with Anna. I should never have gotten intimate with her like I did, and I don't intend to do the same mistake again." His voice was sad and his gaze tortured. I couldn't look at him like this anymore. I turned away and whispered a last sentence before getting out of the room. "It's a little late for that." I couldn't stay near Kratos for now. I needed to get out, to clear my mind. I put on a coat and got out of my apartment without throwing a glance behind. My heart was breaking at each second I was spending near him as many words and emotions were kept under silence.

I wanted so much to tell him "I love you", to make him understand that my heart, body and soul were belonging to him, but the words refused to pass my lips. Maybe then he would change his mind, if he understood I was serious and didn't desire him only like a distraction, like a mean to keep the loneliness at bay. But I couldn't do it. I was so scared to bare my soul, so scared to show him who I really was, to give myself completely to him. Because I knew I would never be myself again, and I would never be able to recover from it if something were to happen to him. Revealing my feelings would make me vulnerable. And that, I couldn't bear it.

My feet guided me unconsciously in the Utsubo park, a place I was going often. I tried to forget it was here I had gone the day Rodyle had captured me. It wasn't really a good memory. I sat on a bench facing the fountain in the middle of the place and looked at the children playing with their parents. They seemed so happy, like no problems ever came to haunt them! What I would give to be like them right now. Lost in my thoughts, I didn't hear the sound of footsteps coming in my direction and the scream of happiness of a little girl. "Look, daddy!! It's uncle Yuan!! Uncle Yuan!!!" I got out of my torpor when the little girl with brown hair threw herself at me with unending joy. When I recognized her, my gaze went up straight away, only to fell on the pleasing face of Botta. "Botta! What are you doing here?" I asked on a surprised tone, which got me an amused laugh from my friend. "What _I'm_ doing here? This question is mine to ask. Yumi wanted to play at the park, so I brought her here." As he was explaining, his eyes bearing an infinite softness settled on his five years daughter with her mischievous face. When I looked again at the young girl still clutching at me, I couldn't stop a smile to dawn on my lips, despite my depressive state. I had always adored Botta's daughter. She was like a little ball of love. Yumi lifted her big brown eyes on me and her expression saddened.

"Uncle Yuan, you look sad! Did someone hurt you?" She asked innocently, seeming at the verge of crying. I stayed frozen for many seconds, surprised by the words she had said. When I finally reacted, I ruffled her long hair affectionately, marvelling again at how children had an infallible instinct. "Don't worry, my little darling, I'm okay. Your presence is like the sun for me." I whispered on the tone of confidence and a wide smile appeared on Yumi's face again. A look of false scolding took hold of Bottas' face as he was folding his arms. "Are you trying to seduce my daughter, by any chance?" I had an enigmatic smile as I was answering; "Maybe."

Botta sighed, used to me having the last word. He came closer to us and kneeled in front of Yumi. "Yumi, I have to talk to uncle Yuan for a moment. Can you go play on your own for a moment?" He gently asked his daughter, who made a sulking face. "But I want to play with uncle Yuan!" She protested quickly, which made me laugh. I put her down on the ground. "We'll play together after I talk with your father, okay?" My answer seemed to satisfy her. She went away to the fountain, running around it and picking up flowers that grew near it, under the alert gaze of her father. I was the first to break the silence.

"I think it's nice that you have time to spend with your daughter. You were really busy recently, right?" I said, my gaze following Yumi around. I found it sad that Botta didn't have all the time in the world for his family. If only this city wasn't so tainted by crimes, if only our work didn't need to exist. The world would be only better.

"Yeah. With the rise in guns traffic recently, I don't know what to do anymore. I needed to spend some time with my family." He explained and I could hear the tiredness in his voice. He was right. These last months, there had been an abnormal rise in guns trafficking in Japan. The officers didn't know where to begin searching and the crimes were multiplying. Botta was trying his best to give the more information he could to the police with help from his false identity. He was neglecting his family by doing this, but unfortunately he couldn't do anything about it.

"How is Kaoru right now? Is her condition improving?" I inquired softly and Botta's face seemed to go older as his features creased with sadness. "Her condition is still the same. They will operate her again in a few weeks. Until then, she's taking some rest at home." Kaoru was Botta's wife. She had always had a frail constitution, but her health had never really suffered from it. But two years after Yumi's birth, she was diagnosticated with a breast cancer and had undergone an operation, which should have killed all the cancerous cells. But some cells got infected some time after and she was waiting for another operation. I put a conforting hand on my friend's shoulder. "I'm sure it will go well for her. She's strong and she keeps hope, and that makes all the difference." I tried to reassure him, even if I knew it would not get rid of all the doubts that were eating away at him.

But my words seemed to lighten him, since he thanked me and a smile appeared on his face. Another moment of silence went on, in which I tried to settle more comfortably on the bench. The wounds of my back weren't making it easy to do so. Botta looked at me from the corner of his eye. He finally broke the silence. "What's wrong, Yuan? You don't seem well." He inquired slowly, his gaze fixed on me. I stiffened for a moment before laughing softly. He always knew when something was troubling me, even if this time it was easy to see. Usually, I didn't come to sit alone in a park when everything was okay. "It's nothing." I answered simply, but Botta didn't let go of the subject easily. "Let me guess; it's not going well with Kratos?" I threw him an incredulous look after his words. "How did you –" I began and Botta burst out laughing.

"How many times must I tell you that you are too easy to read? I don't know what else could have put you in such a state." I frowned, which only increased the laugh of my friend. "Do you want to talk about it? You know you can tell me anything." He said once he had calmed down. I sighed before talking, knowing it would probably do me good to talk to someone. "You were right all along, Botta. I – I love Kratos, but I was scared to admit it, scared of what would happen if he knew! And even now, I'm still unable to tell him..." I whispered in a saddened voice, lowering my gaze on my knees, my head between my hands. Botta stayed silent, letting me continue, letting me empty my heart of its worries. "He – He says he loves me, but he refuses to touch me most of the time, under the pretext he would put me in danger if we get too close." Botta frowned at that. "Put you in danger? I don't understand." A wave of anger went through my eyes at this moment. "It's all because of Yggdrasil. He's got a mad obsession towards Kratos, and the simple fact that I'm seeing him every now and then enrages him. He will stop at nothing to have Kratos for him alone." I spit out with hatred at the memories that washed over me. In Kratos' room the morning when I had slept there, the time when he came back with a swelled up cheek and the treatment he had just inflicted on me... He was going way too far.

"I understand now. It's true that putting Yggdrasil against you isn't the wisest thing to do." He said wisely, but it didn't make me hear reason. I lifted my face, bearing an expression of pain. "But Yggdrasil didn't even wait to have _proofs_ that we were having a relationship, only _suspicions_ before acting!" I strongly replied and Botta showed a confused expression at this. He was surely wondering what could have happened, but he didn't ask. Instead, he ruffled my hair in a teasing gesture, which frustrated me. He was treating me like a child!! "What are you doing?!" I got indignant, glaring daggers at him. Botta was displaying a wide smile.

"You are so impatient! Give him time, if it's all you need to go forward in your relation. It's not like he doesn't want you! Even I can testify it, seeing the way he was looking at you the other morning, and the way he was ready to jump at my throat if I dared yell at you anymore." At the memory of that morning that had been so embarrassing to me, my cheeks reddened and I pushed Botta's hand away with annoyance. "But you know, despite the fact he's a yakuza, he seems perfect for you. You need someone who can quell your ardours a little." He added with amusement and I got angered in front of his insinuation.

I was about to reply, but Yumi came back to us with a bouquet of flowers freshly plucked, presenting them to me with a wide smile. My anger calmed down and I took them with carefulness. "These are for me? How nice of you!" I answered and lifted the young girl in my arms. "Only if you play with me!!" Yumi replied and I couldn't stop myself from laughing at her words. She already knew how to manipulate people at her age! "Okay, you won. Let's go!" I answered and Yumi jumped with joy. She took my hand and pulled me towards the fountain. Botta followed us, laughing. I decided I would put my worries to a later time and that passing a moment with Yumi and Botta would do me good.

One hour later, I was leaving Botta and his daughter and found the way back to my apartment. I hesitated for a long time before opening the front door, still not knowing how to react in front of Kratos. But seeing Botta had calmed me and I carefully opened the door. I noticed the apartment was abnormally calm. I looked around and saw that Kratos wasn't here, which I found strange. When I went to the kitchen, I found a note written by him and I read it.

_Yuan, I was called as a matter of urgency at work. I only didn't want you to worry if you returned before I did. Have a good evening, Kratos._

I didn't know if I should be happy or not that he wasn't here. Anyway, at least, I didn't need to face him after my surge of anger earlier. I wasn't up for a long discussion now. I was too exhausted and the day had seemed extremely long. I looked rapidly over the informations on the Jiang group. But I wasn't feeling well as the nausea I had felt earlier came back and I thought going to sleep would be a better idea.

* * *

I awoke in a start when two strong arms circled my waist from behind and pulled me against a firm torso. I didn't need to turn around to know it was Kratos. He buried his face in my neck and inhaled my scent. "Kratos?" I whispered in a confused and still sleepy voice. There was a long silence before he finally spoke. "I'm sorry, Yuan." His hurt voice reached me clearly, since he spoke against my ear, which made me shiver. "Why are you apologizing? I'm the one who got angry at you earlier." I answered in a breath, taking one of his hands around my waist and softly caressing the palm of his hand. I wasn't angry at him anymore. Botta had made me reflect about it a lot. I would try, like he had said, to gave him time, even if I didn't know if I would be able to do it. Kratos tenderly kissed the hollow of my neck and another shiver ran through me, one I'm sure he felt. "I'm apologizing for having hurt you. Even now, I'm sure I'm still hurting you..." I shook my head weakly, closing my eyes in my tiredness. "It's okay, let's not talk about it anymore." I closed the subject, not wanting to talk about it now. I took delight in Kratos' proximity and the heat radiating of his body. I felt myself slowly go back to the world of dreams when something suddenly came back to my mind. "Kratos, can I ask you a favour?" I asked while smothering a yawn. Kratos' hold around my waist tightened. "Go on, you can ask me anything."

I yawned again before answering. "I'm going to go see Bryant... tomorrow. I need you to make me a file on... Kvar for tomorrow morning." I whispered slowly and Kratos laughed softly. "Even when you're almost asleep, you still think about your work? Really, you never cease to amaze me..." He whispered softly, but I didn't hear what followed, since I had already fallen back asleep.

The next morning, I awoke alone. Kratos must already have gone back to work, surely to work on the file I had asked him. It was Saturday, so I knew Bryant wasn't working. It was the ideal time to meet him outside of the police station, since I had to avoid that place as much as possible. I called him before going to the headquarters. He seemed surprised that I wanted to meet him, but he still invited me to his home in the afternoon.

I went to see Kratos at his office one hour later and was happy to see he had done what I had asked from him. There wasn't much information on Kvar, but at least we had his picture and some pertinent information. I didn't stay in his office for long, in fear someone would see me and that Yggdrasil seriously thought about putting his threats to execution. As I was about to get out of the headquarters, I walked into Zelos again, who was certainly coming from Yggdrasil's office, seeing the way he had come from. I groaned in irritation when he saw me and had a sarcastic smile. I hid the file on Kvar under my coat in an imperceptible gesture. "Well, aren't we coming back from a visit to Kratos' office?" He inquired on a sugary tone.

I did my best to ignore him not even answering him. I didn't need this right now. As I was about to exit the headquarters, he talked again and I stopped dead in my tracks. "But you know, I find it really strange that he would become attached to a _man_. I would even say impossible." His voice reached me clearly and I didn't need to turn around to know he was probably displaying a wide smile. He was trying to get to me, I knew it, but I still turned around to face him. "And why exactly is that?" I answered with coldness and he snickered while walking to me. "Think about it for a while. He was married to a woman, and before that had many female lovers, of which Yggdrasil's own sister!" He let out innocently, without doubting the effect his words had on me. I froze in place, unable to answer anything under the shock. The... sister of Yggdrasil?! Martel? Kratos had had a relation with my wife? I couldn't believe it. How could he pass this under silence?!

The expression of complete shock on my face didn't go unnoticed, since Zelos had a victorious smile and continued with implacable harshness. "It's clear that you're only a replacement for his wife. There's nothing serious from him!" These words got to me despite myself and I grimaced. I wanted to shut him up as rage was rising in me dangerously. "You better shut the fuck up." I seethed through my teeth, not giving a damn about the fact I was totally disrespectful towards him. Zelos seemed even more satisfied. "Oh, I must have hit a heartstring! It's because you know that what I'm saying is true. He must have seen similarities between you and his wife and set his heart on you because of it; it's as simple as that."

He had said too much. This time, I couldn't stop myself. My fist crashed in his hateful face before he had time to anticipate it. He fell to the ground, looking at me with surprise. I leaned over him, a menacing glow surrounding me. Zelos backed away slowly, seeming scared by my anger. "_Now_, you can see how bad my temper is." I seethed in a menacing voice before getting out of the headquarters in a fury. That bastard had deserved what happened to him and he could always run to Yggdrasil to tell him, I didn't give a damn! What he had said was still ringing in my head and I tried to forget it in vain. I didn't want to believe everything he said. It must be lies!!! But still... A part of me was doubting, this part that feared being hurt by Kratos. I didn't know what to believe anymore.

I had time to calm myself and push my emotions away before going to Bryant's home. When I presented myself to his house, it was his wife, Alicia, who answered me, a charming smile on her lips. I hadn't seen her for a while now, thus the reason why her appearance disturbed me. She resembled Presea so much! There was something about the shape of her face, the color of her eyes and hair... The resemblance was so striking that it couldn't be a coincidence. "Good afternoon, Yuan. Regal is waiting for you in the living room, please make yourself at home." She warmly welcomed me, which pulled me out of my torpor. I returned her smile and entered their home, getting rid of my coat that I hang in the wardrobe. They had a charming house of a cottage style, big enough for four people, even if they were two for now. But three months ago, I had learned that Alicia was pregnant and her belly proved it. I was happy for them, since Bryant had wanted children for many years now, but all of their attempts until now had failed.

"How is the baby doing?" I asked gently. A soft smile appeared on her lips as she tenderly caressed her belly that was carrying a tiny life. "In fine shape! The radiography taught us it was a little boy." She answered with delight. A mocking smile made its way on my lips as I replied in an amused voice; "I hope he won't look like his father! Poor child, I pity him already." It wasn't long before Bryant's deep voice echoed behind me; "You've got some nerve, saying things like that in my house!" I turned around, still bearing a mocking smile, only to see him leaning on the door frame of the living room. "But I'm only saying the truth." I continued and Bryant looked at me with a nasty look. "You're lucky we aren't at work now." He grumbled and indicated the living room to me with a sign of his head. I knew that despite his look, he wasn't really angry. It wasn't the first time I was teasing him like that outside of work.

I followed him to the living room, bringing with me the folder containing the information on Kvar. Bryant sat on an armchair and I took place on the sofa in front of him, taking care not to sit too quickly. My wounds were still too fresh. My superior seemed to notice something was off, since he asked; "Are you okay?" in a worried voice. There was no trace left of his anger. I shook my head. "No, everything is fine. I'm only a little stressed out, it's all." I lied in a way that seemed natural, since he didn't push the subject. I didn't want him to know what had happened to me. He would probably say it was Kratos' fault and I didn't want to hear it.

"So, why did you want to see me so badly?" He inquired while folding his arms. I didn't waste time to present the file to him. Bryant took it and opened it as I was beginning my explanations. "That man is called Kvar. No family name, at least none known. It's probably only an alias. We labelled him as suspect number one in the murders of Anna and Lloyd Irving. He is one of Yggdrasil's spies, his older and best one." Bryant had a serious expression on his face as he was looking thoughtful. "How did you arrive at this conclusion?"

My expression darkened to become similar to his. "We don't have concrete evidence, I fear it. It's only speculations. I started with the evidence that was found near the crime scene, the datura. With Kratos' help, I retraced the list of drug dealers who dealt with Yggdrasil. At least we know he really is the one who ordered the murder. Amongst the dealers who were selling datura, some of them seemed to have the information about them erased, which seemed more than suspicious. After having investigated on them and found the list of their clients, Kvar's name was brought out. And he's one of the three closer to Yggdrasil besides Kratos, and the only one of them doing in drug trafficking." Bryant stayed silent for a long moment before sighing. "I follow your logic and if I'm being honest, you seem to have the right suspect. But it's not enough. You need concrete evidence, something that would allow us to arrest him and investigate on him freely." He added and I understood perfectly what he was saying. We needed a solid proof, anything that could incriminate him of any crime. After that, the police would be free to do his investigation on him and we would know if he really was the one who killed Kratos' family. "That is why I came to see you, to ask for your help. I need you to put people on his tail, because I can't do it myself, he knows me. It would be too risky."

Bryant agreed. "It goes without saying. I will put two police officers on the case tomorrow." I bowed respectfully in front of my superior. "Thank you very much." At this, Alicia entered the living room, bringing with her two cups of tea that she put down in front of us. "Is tea okay for you, Yuan?" She asked gently and I answered her with a smile. "Yeah, it's perfect. Thank you, Alicia." Bryant thanked her too while throwing her a loving gaze as she was leaving the room. I too didn't let my gaze wander from her all the time she was with us and Bryant noticed it.

"Is something wrong?" He asked on a confused tone and I immediately brought my attention back on him. "Hum, I was only wondering if Alicia had family..." I said with hesitation, testing the waters. Maybe... Bryant seemed even more confused. "I think she told me once she had a little sister, but she disappeared when she was only a little child. The authorities never found her." While he was revealing me this, I bit my lip discreetly. I had made the link, it couldn't be a coincidence! A little sister that disappeared overnight... And Presea, who finds herself trapped with the yakuza, against her will... No, it really couldn't be a coincidence. "Why that question?" The inquisitive voice of Bryant pulled me out of my thoughts and I shook my head. "Oh, for nothing. It was simple curiosity, that's all." I wasn't ready to tell him about my doubts now, I wanted to make sure by talking to Presea before.

Bryant wasn't satisfied by my answer, but he didn't push me to talk. Looking at the time, I saw it was beginning to get late and I needed to leave to begin my next mission. I thanked Bryant again and he accompanied me to the entrance. As I was about to leave, my superior stopped me. "Yuan." I turned around to look at him and saw with surprise worry on Bryant's face. His gaze seemed to search for something in my eyes. Maybe he saw in them how much I was confused lately. "Don't ever hesitate to come at me if something is wrong. I will always be there to support you, no matter if it is as your superior or simply as a man. Don't ever forget it." He said while putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I didn't know what to answer. What he said had touched me deeply. Once again, I felt myself unworthy of such devotion. I thanked him again in a shaky voice before leaving his home, completely shaken.

Bryant... Botta... Why were they so attached to me when I gave them almost nothing in return? I couldn't stop myself from feeling bad about it. And Kratos...

_It's clear that you're only a replacement for his wife. He must have seen similarities between you and his wife and set his heart on you because of it; it's as simple as that._ These words refused to leave me and I hated myself for that. And if I really was a replacement? I think that if it really was the case, I wouldn't recover from it. I didn't want to doubt Kratos, but all the things Zelos had said... Had Kratos really been seeing Martel in the past? Was I beginning a relation with a man that had already loved my deceased wife? Was it all a pack of lies or was there truth in it? I was scared to discover it.

But my mind wouldn't be at ease as long as I hadn't talked to Kratos.

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **The investigation is going smoothly. Will Kratos get his revenge soon on Kvar? And what tortures does Yggdrasil still have in store for Yuan?

Find out in the next chapter!

See you next time!


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N : **We do not own Tales of Symphonia and its characters in any way, unfortunately. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 17**

How dare he?! How _dare_ he hurt the man so precious to me?!

I had just left Pronyma's office after she had given me her report when I'd seen Yuan standing near me, his face void of any colors. And before he even had the time to turn his gaze away, I think I glimpsed a spark of pain in it, even if I wasn't too sure.

I quickly dragged him to a storage room and knowing clearly something was wrong, I got frustrated to hear him lie to me. Didn't he trust me? Didn't he already know he could tell me anything? I was going crazy because of him worrying me this much! When he lost his footing and I caught him, I froze when I felt a sticky moist on my hand.

Blood!

Yggdrasil had dared hurt Yuan! He had tortured him, abused his entire back! He was going to pay, oh yes! I wanted him even more locked behind bars, and that for the rest of his life! Even after his death, I wanted him locked up!!

But now wasn't the time to worry about him. Yuan was wounded and was suffering greatly, I had to take him back home quickly. I got angry when he tried to stop me from doing it as I could not believe he wanted me to think about work and leave him in that terrible state! So it was while making him clearly understand he was much _more_ important than this stupid organisation that I took him back to his home with carefulness. We went to his pace as I didn't want him to feel even more pain.

When we arrived to the apartment, I quickly took care of him, treating his wounds with gentleness, trying to hurt him the less I could, but it was impossible. Even if it was Yggdrasil who gave him this treatment, he hadn't spared him at all.

Seeing Yuan suffer so much as I was applying the cream on his wounds, I got angry at myself for having done nothing. I had promised myself I would protect him, that I would let nothing happen to him. And yet, he was now lying under me, suffering in agony because of my carelessness. I didn't know what I could have done, but I _should_ have done something. I should have known Yggdrasil had such a treatment in store for him when Zelos had come to get him; I should have gone with him to prevent this from happening! But I was too stupid to let Yuan persuade me everything would be alright.

I finally finished applying the cream on his wounds, having stopped often to leave kisses in the hollow of his neck to change his mind. It was a real torture to see him suffer so much. Of course, I wasn't hurting as much as him, but it was still killing me to hurt him, even if it was to help him heal.

I sat next to him and caressed his hair to appease him as the conversation turned around Yggdrasil. I wanted to know what his reason for doing this was and wasn't surprised to learn he had tortured Yuan for so little. After all, he was angry against us both, he was suspecting our relation. In his point of view, it was enough to make the man that was stealing me pay. Was he doing it on purpose to do everything to make me hate him more?

I was taken by surprise when Yuan asked me if we really had an intimate relationship. I didn't know what to answer straight away because I felt guilty. Guilty to say yes to his question as I was refusing him so many things that were usually normal in such a relation. Guilty because I wasn't feeling worthy of him. And yet, I wanted it to be true too, I wanted for him to be always by my side and for us to never be separated. I wanted to always protect him, despite the fact I didn't seem to be able to do it. And finally, when I answered him, it was by the affirmative. It was too late to back down now, we really had a more intimate relationship since we both shared the same feelings. I loved him so much, Yuan was so precious to me. And to prove it, more to myself though, I laid next to him on the bed and embraced him by the waist, pulling him close to me to give him some strength to pass through this ordeal. I couldn't let him alone as I was also responsible for what happened. And I could never bear to let him alone as he was suffering so much.

I stayed with him the rest of the day and the entire night, falling asleep against my will at some time. Work was tiring me recently, more than I would have liked.

What awoke me was Yuan when he left the bed and I startled, wondering what was happening. When I saw him, I could only disapprove. What was he doing out of bed when he should be resting? He needed it to heal his wounds! So I stopped him to at least know his reasons and was surprised to learn he was going to see Yggdrasil in his state! It was out of the question, I would go talk to our superior to make him postpone the meeting. I tried to drag him back to bed, but Yuan stopped me and replied swiftly, which didn't surprise me. Another reason for Yggdrasil to try and take a hold of me? Yes, I was perfectly aware of it. But I wasn't obliged to let him do as he pleased, even if I knew he would win in the end. And still, even if I tried to hide that fact deep inside of me, Yuan seemed to see it anyway and tried again to make me understand he had no choice but to go to the headquarters, that there was no other option. I was about to reply, to tell him we would find something else, that he didn't need to go, but he cut me out with a short kiss. He was cheating; I couldn't argue against such an argument.

* * *

When we arrived to the headquarters, Yuan was the first to get out of the car to make sure we wouldn't be seen entering together in the building. I perfectly understood why, but it was still disappointing me a little. I didn't really like to be separated from Yuan when we had the possibility of being together.

I also got out with a sigh and entered after him, going directly to my office. I had a lot of work to do and I needed to find information on Kvar that would allow us to incriminate him. I couldn't involve Presea this time. She might be an excellent spy, but she could never measure against Kvar. He would recognize her quickly since they were both working for the same organisation and he would immediately understand he was being followed. It would result in Yggdrasil getting aware of it and Presea would pay greatly with her life. I simply refused to have it happen to a young teenager who still had her life before her.

So I began my work quickly, taking care of many folders while searching in my rare free moments to find anything I could on Kvar. I even went to see Tabatha. Unfortunately, she told me nothing new and I finished the day empty handed with a pile of work almost completed. I didn't know how I was finding the time to do everything, but one thing was for sure; I was completely exhausted.

It was in that state that I returned at the apartment at the end of the afternoon, finding Yuan sleeping on his bed. I was worried straight away as I remembered he had met Yggdrasil today to receive his next mission. I wondered how it had gone and I hoped nothing serious had happened. Yggdrasil was capable of everything.

I sat next to Yuan and gently caressed his hair after having gotten rid of my jacket and folded my sleeves to be a little more comfortable. I didn't especially wanted to wake him up, but didn't feel guilty when he did. I still wanted to know if he was okay. "It seems you've had a hard day." I whispered to him while smiling softly and Yuan agreed. So it seems his meeting with Yggdrasil didn't go without a hitch.

However, I knew nothing of it since Yuan refused to talk about it. I respected his choice – if he needed to talk, he would in due time – and dropped a kiss on his forehead to lighten the atmosphere.

When I was about to go to the kitchen, Yuan stopped me, begging for me to stay. I didn't know what to do. I knew he badly needed comfort from someone, but was I really the right person for it? He had friends that seemed to do it better than I did, reassuring and listening to Yuan, giving him better advices than I.

As I still was not reacting, Yuan took the lead and kissed me. This time, I couldn't resist, melting and letting myself go into the kiss. I still didn't want to be heartless and give him no affection. After all, I loved him more than anything in the world and even if I didn't show it, I _wanted_ him. It was just that I wasn't what he needed. I wasn't worth him.

When I felt his hands on my back, I took him by his shoulders and broke this magical moment. I looked at the ground, knowing he would be angry at me and that I had hurt him. It was indeed the case since he got angry with me and I had deserved it. I grimaced when he mentioned Anna and the fact that she had gotten from me what I was refusing to him. But he didn't understand. Marrying her had been a mistake. I had put her in danger and given myself the illusion it wasn't the case as years passed on. I didn't want to do the same mistake. And Yggdrasil should never had heard about Anna, he'd never been in direct contact with her. It was different for Yuan. He was _mixed_ with Yggdrasil. That was a big difference between the two.

I wanted to calm him, but didn't try anything, knowing perfectly well that no matter what I would do, it wouldn't soften his temper. It was at this moment that he left the apartment, leaving me completely alone. When I heard the front door slam, I buried my face in my clenching hands. What did I do again? I had gotten Yuan angry, I had hurt him. Because of me, he was suffering the worst torments. And despite that, despite all that, I couldn't resolve to let myself yield to his desires that were also mine. I didn't want to dirty his beautiful soul. Tonight was evidence that I was only hurting the people around me, even if I didn't want it. We were living in two completely different worlds.

So what could I do to make him forgive me? I had to find a solution before he came back. I didn't want him to still be angry at me when he would.

I jumped when I heard a ringing from my belt and it pulled me out of my torpor. I took my cell phone that was hanging from it and looked at the name displayed on the screen. I was surprised to see Yggdrasil's name. He rarely called me after work. It was probably urgent so I picked up the call. "Kratos Aurion speaking."

"_Kratos_, where _are you?!_" The furious and hissing voice of Yggdrasil reached me and I frowned. "At home. What's going on, Mithos?"

"_At ho – no, I don't even want to know. We'll discuss this later. Come back immediately to the headquarters, we have an urgent problem!_" He didn't even let me the time to answer that he hang up, not leaving me another choice than to go to the headquarters. I sighed. Yggdrasil sounded furious, so it really must be urgent. Something must have happened that hindered his plans.

I quickly adjusted my shirt properly and put my jacket on again. I was about to leave when my thoughts wandered back to Yuan. Seeing the state Yggdrasil was in, I wouldn't be back before really late tonight. I decided to leave him a note for him not to worry before leaving.

* * *

When I entered my superior's office, I froze on the spot. I knew Yggdrasil was furious, but to see him in a terrible anger and yelling on the phone caught me unprepared. What could possibly have happened to have put him in that kind of state?

He hung up the receiver in a bang and threw me a stormy gaze. "Well, took you long enough! Just so you know, the situation isn't to take lightly!" He spat out, throwing his anger on me. It left me unfazed as I was too used to it.

"Calm down, Mithos, and explain to me what's going on. If you don't, I won't be able to help you." I answered calmly, hoping he would do the same. He took a long breathing and massed his forehead with the tip of his fingertips. "It happens that Takashi Aito has been arrested by the police!" He almost roared. I wasn't too surprised by the news. Aito, the minister of economy, had always had a talent to put himself in a tight spots. Usually, Yggdrasil always managed to bail him out by paying enormous amounts of money. He couldn't get rid of him since the only other candidate for the job wouldn't be faithful to him. He would be on the short end if he had to get rid of another nuisance.

But if Yggdrasil was in that panicked state right now, it was because he hadn't been able to save him this time. Personally, such a situation wasn't bothering me since it was harmful to Yggdrasil. However, there was a negative point. I remembered the young lady that had talked to me when Yggdrasil and I had gone to Tokyo. Sophie, if I remembered correctly. If Aito was in prison, she had surely suffered reprisals from her entourage and millions of questions from the police. I pitied her a little. She had seemed so gentle and kind.

"I see." I answered simply. "And I figure we have to find a way to silence him?" If Aito was in prison, there were high possibilities that he would talk of our organisation, of everything that Yggdrasil had done. The latter couldn't let him do it. And even if Aito was really faithful to him, my superior wouldn't bet on the possibility of him keeping quiet. "Yes, we have to destroy everything that he owned that could concern us. And I don't have any choice now than to get rid of him. I rather have someone that's not faithful to me in the beginning that can be manipulated after than being sold by a stupid and brainless minister!"

"Very well, I'll take care of it. I'll put a unit on his case." I declared simply and prepared myself to leave his office to do what I just said, but Yggdrasil stopped me.

"Kratos, why are you so _calm_? It annoys me!" He threw at me in an annoyed tone, ready to explode in anger again. He definitely wasn't in a good mood. I looked at him again with no expression. "And what good would result in me panicking, Mithos? It's when we are calm that we think about solutions and possibilities, right? I'm sorry that it's annoying you, but I can't do anything else." I answered, wondering why he was getting onto the subject.

"I wasn't talking about that!" Strangely, I suddenly understood what he was talking about. There couldn't be anything else than this, if it wasn't about the recent situation. He wanted to know why I seemed so calm after what he had done to Yuan, why I wasn't showing anything. He was doubting, he thought he had been wrong and he hated it. It wasn't because he regretted having hurt Yuan, that would never happen. No, he was simply angry because it didn't seem to make me suffer and that I still didn't show any emotion. And if I went accordingly to his train of thoughts, he simply wanted to see any kind of expression coming from me. And since anger and pain were things he was so used to draw out of people, it was what he wanted to see in me. Unfortunately for him, I would never give him this pleasure, even less right now. "I already said it. It's because there's nothing between us." I explained on a disinterested tone. "And while we're talking about him, I would ask you not to hurt him so much anymore for so little. You gave him an important mission and if he's hindered by serious injuries, he certainly won't be able to complete it correctly by your fault. And you know perfectly well that we need the information he will bring back."

"He deserved it, I needed to punish him to make him understand his mistakes!" Exclaimed an outraged Yggdrasil.

"There are other ways to punish!" I harshly exclaimed in return. "I already told you, Mithos, we don't have the time, or money to find another spy right now. And despite the fact he had given his reports with lateness, he perfectly succeeded his missions. He's a really good asset for this organisation." My superior threw me a dark glance, but answered nothing. "I ask of you not to hurt him so much from now on, unless he commits a really serious offense." These last words had cost me, but they were necessary to satisfy Yggdrasil, even for a little. "With this, I'll take my leave; I have Aito's case to take care of." So I left the office without seeing the furious expression of Yggdrasil turn into a malicious and twisted smile. And I also didn't hear him whisper for himself; "Very well, I won't hurt him anymore."

* * *

After having taken care of this urgent matter by placing one of my best units on this case, I returned to Yuan's apartment. The earlier events hit me in the face as they replayed in my mind. I had completely forgotten about them since I had been too absorbed on Aito's matters.

I silently entered the apartment while sighing softly. The lights were out and Yuan was surely sleeping. It wasn't surprising since it was really late. And I was so tired, I was angry at Yggdrasil for having made me work so late.

When I entered the room on tiptoes, I saw the peaceful form of Yuan in the bed and felt my heart squeeze at that. I regretted so much what had happened earlier. All he wanted from me was merely normal, it was something every normal person would ask from the loved one. I couldn't even understand why Yuan was staying by my side...

After having changed myself, I slid under the covers and drew him to me by the waist into a strong embrace, which woke him up. I didn't regret it since it allowed me to apologize for all the suffering I was causing him, while dropping a kiss in the hollow of his neck. I was happy when he told me we didn't need to talk about it anymore. Maybe it was a way to say he was forgiving me? I let him go back into Morpheus arms and was about to do the same when he asked me a favour that I immediately agreed to. When he asked me to set up a file on Kvar, I could only laugh softly. "Even when you're almost asleep, you still think about your work? Really, you never cease to amaze me... But it's one of the innumerable things I love about you." I didn't know if he heard me since he seemed to have fallen back asleep, but it wasn't important. I decided not to think about the day anymore and took advantage of Yuan's warmth to fall asleep as well.

* * *

The next evening, when I returned from work, I noticed Yuan was already in the apartment since all the lights were on. I was lightly surprised by this, since I was certain he would be currently investigating the case of the new Chinese mafia. Maybe he was working on it now, simply still gathering information on them before going directly.

And just as I thought, I found him in front of the documents Yggdrasil had given him, highlighting and scribbling on papers as I entered the kitchen. It seemed I had been right.

I got rid of my jacket and put it in the bedroom before getting out with a sigh. The days at work were long recently and Yggdrasil wasn't helping. It was almost as if he was doing it on purpose to give me too much work, maybe hoping I would stay too late and sleep at the headquarters. A shiver ran through me. There was no way I was going to stay there until really late in the night; who knew what Yggdrasil would try? I was really happy that Yuan wasn't living too far from the headquarters.

When I entered the kitchen again, I saw that Yuan was observing me this time, a slightly tormented expression on his face as he was visibly debating if he had to talk or not. I decided to do as if I hadn't seen anything, not wanting to force him to talk if he didn't want to, even though it worried me a little.

Since it wasn't too late and that Yuan had been concentrating on his work until now, I doubted the supper was ready yet. I made for the fridge and suddenly remembered last night. I had put an assassin's unit on Aito's case and they needed to be stopped. All of the evidence owned by the minister should already have been destroyed now since that unit was acting really fast. It was fortunate that Aito had been arrested by the police. It would make their mission less easy to accomplish. Despite that, they weren't beginners and would find a solution in due time, so I'd better talk about it to Yuan. "The minister of Economy has been arrested yesterday for tax evasion and fraud." I simply told and Yuan let out a sigh of relief. The fact that I wasn't asking about what was troubling him seemed to reassure him a little. "Yes, I've heard about it. Why are you talking about this now?"

"He was faithful to Yggdrasil, who asked me to put assassins on his trail. Yggdrasil absolutely wants to silence him now that he can't have him back." Yuan took a serious and professional expression before nodding. "Very well, I'll call Bryant to warn him to reinforce the surveillance on the minister. And maybe to try to get information on Yggdrasil. Who knows, it could be useful." I smiled at him and agreed. I sincerely doubted that minister would admit anything – he was too faithful to Yggdrasil - , but it didn't cost to try it.

Satisfied, I opened the fridge to look at its contents and decide what we would eat tonight, but my attention was quickly diverted when my name was pronounced. "Kratos?" His voice was soft, but ill-at-ease. Something was troubling him, it was obvious. "I need to talk to you... and it's rather important." He continued and I lifted an eyebrow, wondering more and more what he had in mind. Intrigued, I silently nodded and sat next to him, ready to listen.

"I talked to Zelos today." He began and my expression darkened straight away at the mention of this name. Zelos? That stupid teenager? "Well, talking is not really the right word. Let's just say he put me in an uncontrollable anger and I hit him in return, but that's not important." At these words, my eyes widened in stupor and scolding. "Why did you do that? You surely know he will take great pleasure in denouncing you to Yggdrasil and it will be another reason for him to punish you!" I exclaimed harshly, suddenly worried. If Yggdrasil had a good enough reason to do it, he would without a second thought!

Yuan sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I know, but he really angered me and it got the better of me!" He defended himself with an exasperated expression. "But anyway, this wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about." He quickly changed the subject and I frowned even more. Wasn't he seeing that I was worried about him?

If it was the case, he didn't show it since he went on. "No, what I wanted to talk about is what he told me. I... I know he surely only wanted to anger me, discourage me and that I shouldn't believe him, but it happens that I'm... a little worried. I'm really sorry." I was more and more intrigued and anxious. What could Zelos have possibly told Yuan?

"Kratos, am I only a replacement? Is it because I resemble strongly Anna that you..." He didn't dare finish, but I still understood clearly and my eyes widened in stupefaction. And suddenly, I felt very outraged. He didn't believe me sincere? He preferred to doubt because of _Zelos_? Didn't I show him how much he was important to me and that I loved _him_?

But I held back such words, suddenly understanding the worries that were plaguing him. After all, I had just lost Anna not so long ago; anyone could think I was setting my heart on the first person that was showing me affection.

I intertwined my hands and put my elbows on the table as I was thinking on what to say exactly. "I will be honest." I finally answered. "When you welcomed me here for the first time, you acted exactly like Anna had done when I met her. I think that it is a part of the reason why I was attracted to you from the start."

At these words, Yuan's expression fell to display agony and he settled his eyes on the ground. I had clearly hurt him with these words. "You didn't let me finish." I said softly and put a finger under his chin to lift his face gently towards mine, causing our eyes to meet. "That's why I was attracted to you, but only in the beginning. I learned to know you since then, Yuan, and you're far from being like Anna." My fingers caressed his cheek before going to his hair with tenderness. "You have an unpredictable temper, which, I think, makes your charm. You have an unbreakable determination, a want to do justice around you no matter the cost." I saw him blush at my words as he seemed to debate between outrage and shyness, even if the latter seemed to win in the end. My face was now close to his and I dropped a kiss on his forehead. "And you gave me a second chance, even if you could have not done it. That, I doubt Anna would have done." I whispered and after a short moment of hesitation, I captured his lips in a kiss. He answered me right away, sliding his arms around my neck to tighten the embrace in hope of making the moment last longer. I answered his silent demand by keeping our lips locked for a long time. And it was with deception that we had to break the kiss to regain our breathing. "Did I reassure you?" I asked in a low voice, replacing a strand of blue hair that was glued to his cheek.

"A little." He answered and I looked at him with surprise. A little? Didn't I was persuasive enough? What else should I do to make him understand he was important to me for who he was? "But..." I began and he shook his head. "Don't worry, I'm entirely reassured on this point and I believe you." He answered me. "It's simply that Zelos mentioned something else..." I frowned at his words. Couldn't that stupid idiot mind his own business!? Couldn't he let Yuan live in peace? He was already bothering me, I wished he could do differently with the man in front of me.

Yuan released me and put his hands on his knees, surely debating on the way he should get into the second subject. "Did... Martel was your lover once in the past?"

"Excuse me?" The words sounded so false, so unreal that I didn't know if I had heard right. But seeing Yuan's expression, I knew I had heard well. I immediately shook my head. "Never." I answered and he let out a sigh of relief. I could understand him. If I had learned from someone else that Yuan had once had Anna as a lover and never would have told me, I would have felt betrayed also. "But then, why did he tell me that? He doesn't know that she was my wife and I don't understand why mentioning her would be important." He said out loud and I only shrugged my shoulders. "Certainly to show how I could never love a man. And I don't know how he came to know about it, but maybe he said that because he knows I once had feelings for her. He simply "embellished" the situation, like he would have said." I admitted, hoping Yuan wouldn't be too mad at me. His reaction didn't take time to arrive as his eyes widened and he frowned. "But you just told me that –"

"And I didn't lie, there never was anything between us, I swear." I cut him with a sigh. "But try to understand me. At the time, she had been the only one to show me even a little affection, to treat me like I was a real person and not some mere object to kill. Well, that was the case if I don't count Mithos." Yuan arched an eyebrow as he noticed the change in the way I called Yggdrasil. "Mithos was only an innocent boy in the beginning. I consider that him and "Yggdrasil" are two totally different persons. It's my way of differentiating them." I explained before going back to the subject at hand. "Anyway. Even if I had feelings for Martel, I never told her, in fear of many things. Of her reaction, and that of her father. And now that I think about it, if there had been anything between us, it would never have lasted for a long time. I was... different at the time." Yuan arched an eyebrow again, but I only smiled to him in return. I wasn't ready to talk about this part of my past.

"Was there something else Zelos said that you need explications about?" I asked gently without any traces of impatience or anger. He softly shook his head and smiled at me, looking reassured. "No, it's okay. I have all the explications I wanted and I believe you." It was good to hear. I could never put up with him believing the versions _Zelos_ was giving him.

I turned towards his computer and looked at what he was working on. "So, how's it going with the investigation on the Jiang clan?" Yuan also turned his attention on the screen and sighed. "Not too bad. I'm trying to collect the more information possible on them before going directly. It's going well so far." I analyzed rapidly what he had written and saw that indeed, he seemed to manage well alone. Unfortunately, Yuan was beginning to be used to these kinds of things.

I remembered then that he had gone to see his commissioner today about Kvar and inquired on the subject. "By the way, what about Kvar?" Yuan sighed again. "Bryant will put police officers on his trail and track him discreetly since we don't have the right to do it openly, not until we find stronger evidence. But at least, these detectives will surely be able to find something that will cause a real investigation." I pursed my lips as I thought about it. "Well, I only hope for your commissioner that these detectives are excellent in the art of spying." I said with an uncertain look, which seemed to irritate Yuan a bit. "What, you don't think the police can do anything?"

I shook my head, amused by his spontaneous answer, but annoyed by the fact he didn't understand my point of view. "It wasn't what I meant. Yuan, Kvar is the _master_ as far as spying is concerned. If someone is tracking him, he'll know it almost immediately, unless the one that is following him is better than him. And I seriously doubt that such a person exists. Yggdrasil only takes the best. And if Kvar comes to be aware that he's being followed, he'll automatically tell Yggdrasil. I just don't want the situation to end up in him suspecting us." Because we both knew Yggdrasil didn't need concrete evidence to make someone pay.

It was Yuan's turn to be lost in his thoughts. "I understand what you mean, but it may be our only solution. If we don't try it, we'll never find anything, don't you think so?" And I had to admit he was right. I hadn't found anything so far to incriminate Kvar and we needed proof. "I only hope for them that they'll not be discovered." I said simply, knowing Yggdrasil's best spy more than I would like. He wouldn't hesitate to get rid of nuisances in his way.

I stood up, this time with the firm intention of preparing diner. "So, what do you want to eat?" I said to close the conversation.

* * *

Days went by smoothly as Yuan and I were both really busy; he by spying the Chinese mafia and I by my usual work that seemed to pile up despite the fact I was taking care of it the most I could at each end of the day. I seriously began to suspect Yggdrasil was doing it on purpose. There were things in these piles that other members of the organisation could take care of, but I didn't complain about it. I got the impression it was another way to test me.

One afternoon, as I was about to get out of my office to take a break, I found myself face to face with the man I recognized as Yuan's friend... Botta, wasn't it? I was so used to know him under Anji's name that I got confused sometimes. He closed the door behind him.

"Good day, Mr. Aurion." He said with a small smile that annoyed me lightly. I wasn't in the mood for some joke.

"What can I do for you, Anji? It's rather rare for you to come see me directly. Isn't Yggdrasil the one you have to meet?" I declared dryly without at least a hello in return. I really needed a break.

"Really now, don't take it like this!" He exclaimed, still bearing that sideways smile. However, he quickly gained his seriousness. "I thought that being here, I might as well come to talk to you about Sano a little."

At his words, I got even more annoyed. "If you came to gave me a lecture, let me tell you one of his... friends already took care of it." I had almost said superior, but I corrected myself at the last second. Even if we were in my office, we could never be too careful. There could be someone eavesdropping on us right now.

I sincerely hoped he wasn't here to give me a lecture. Anyway, things were going better between Yuan and me... well, almost. But it was still more bearable than before.

Botta shook his head. "Lecturing you wasn't my intention at all. No, I simply came to give you a small piece of advice; despite the fact that your patient nature can calm his ardours, don't make him wait too long. He's the kind of person that needs attention to think he really has importance. I understand that your actual situation isn't really easy, but it's not a reason to give him nothing either, right?"

His words suddenly made me thoughtful. Of course, since the last time Yuan and I had gotten into a fight, I was trying to redeem myself a little, but I still couldn't bring myself to give him too much attentions. I was too afraid of the consequences, too afraid that if I went further a little each time, it would go too far at some point.

And yet, if I continued to give him nothing or too little, he would ask himself some serious questions and doubt my sincerity. Botta was right; I needed to give him more kind gestures. Not too much, just enough, while hoping it wouldn't make him suffer too greatly.

"Thank you for your advice." I said with gratitude on a more cordial tone. "I'll do my best about it."

Botta agreed. "That's what I wanted to hear. Now, you'll have to excuse me since I have many more meetings to attend to." And on these words, he left my office to leave me alone with my thoughts.

* * *

I came back that evening, still thinking about the talk I had with Botta, only to find the apartment empty, which I found strange. This last week, Yuan was always back before me, what was different today?

I didn't have the leisure to ask myself the question any longer. I heard the door open and turned around to see Yuan close it brusquely, leaning against it and letting himself slide to the ground in a dull sound. He was completely pale and his eyes were wide as if something was terrorising him, but visibly wasn't in the room. And was he... shaking?

"Yuan?" I called him with anxiousness, getting closer to him in hopes of not startling him. However, he didn't gave me time to get to him. He abruptly rose up and ran to the bathroom before slamming the door behind him. More and more worried, I followed him to the door and heard him throw up. What in the world could have happened to put him in such a state?

"Yuan?" I called him again while knocking at the door. "Yuan, what's going on?" I didn't receive an answer and he didn't open the door. I had to wait for several minutes that seemed to me like an eternity, worrying myself sick until he got out of the room.

When he finally opened the door, he seemed more tired and pale than ever. But what stroke me the most was the immense terror in his eyes, more intense than ever. His eyes locked with mine before he put his hands on each side of his head and resumed shaking. "How... how...?" He whispered, leaving me even more perplexed. What could have happened?

I closed the distance between us and put the back of my hand on his forehead to check his temperature. I was relieved to notice he wasn't having a fever. "Yuan, what's going on? Are you hurt somewhere?" I asked lowly in a reassuring tone. He suddenly clung to my shirt with force. "How can he be so cruel?" He exclaimed in a breath and I finally understood what had happened. Yuan had arrived later than me today because he needed to give a report to Yggdrasil. And since he had hit Zelos recently, the teenager had surely reported it to our superior who had taken a great thrill in punishing Yuan for it. But even if the latter had just been sick, he didn't seem hurt anywhere. This could only mean one thing; despite my warning to not hurt Yuan, Yggdrasil had managed to go round my words. He wouldn't hurt him... physically. But psychologically, he could perfectly do it.

I was furious against him, but it wasn't the time to think about it. Yuan was terrified right now, he needed all my support. And I needed to put Botta's advice to execution. So I pulled him in a strong embrace, stroking his hair. "Shh, it's over now, calm down." He continued to cling to my shirt like a desperate man, his shaking still not dying down. I kissed his forehead and then his temple, caressing his hair with all the tenderness in the world, whispering sweet words in his ear to appease him. I held him like this for a long time until he calmed down, his breathing regaining a normal rhythm.

Never did I ask him what had happened. He certainly wouldn't want to remember it anyway, not after he had just managed to calm himself. If he wanted to talk about it, he would do it in due time, when he would feel able to.

I spent the evening with him in the most peaceful way possible, trying to cheer him up and to make him think about something else.

* * *

The next day, I was plunged in the documents I needed to take care of in the day when I suddenly heard Zelos' voice echoing a little farther in another hallway. "I learned that the little dog has been severely punished for having laid its paws on me. So, how was it? Was it painful enough?"

"It certainly doesn't concern you." I heard Yuan's voice and felt curious straight away. I came closer, but stayed hidden in the hallway next to theirs. When I discreetly looked around the corner, I could see Zelos observing Yuan, who was having his back at me, with his eternally mocking smile.

"Anyway, I don't care what happened to me. You deserved that I'd 'lay my paws' on you, as you say so yourself." Yuan continued on an impassive tone. But knowing him like I did, I knew he was angry right now. Angry for having to see this hateful teen. A teen that seemed well determined to attack Yuan no matter what.

Zelos shrugged. "But I was only saying the truth! After all, I was only trying to make you understand you were wasting your time with a man that loves only women. And furthermore, he's one of Japan's greatest murderers! Poor you, I only wanted to save you a broken heart!" He exclaimed on a false tone of compassion. "Humph!" Was the only thing Yuan let out, showing he wasn't believing him at all. "Thank you for your... "compassion", but I'll do without it." He was about to go away, but Zelos prevented him from doing so by throwing; "Don't you understand that you're only a toy for him? He will get rid of you when he'll get tired of you! He'll dispose of you like he did so many before you. Like those children..." His words had the desired effect. Yuan stopped dead in his tracks and I felt my heart stop completely. How? How could he know?! Nobody was supposed to know besides Yggdrasil, nobody!!

I threw another glance towards the duo and saw that Zelos was looking in my direction, a devilish smile on his lips. He knew I was listening! He was doing it on purpose, he wanted to see us both react. Should I stop him? Maybe his story would be false... maybe he was bluffing. Yes, it was surely the case; he couldn't know about it, it was simply impossible!

"What do you mean?" Yuan asked on a suspicious tone. Zelos snickered as he was transferring his gaze back on Yuan again, visibly happy to have the spy's attention again. "I'm talking about all those children he killed in cold blood in his young days! He didn't have pity for any of them!" Yuan's fists clenched and he seemed to do his best to control himself. "I'm sorry, but I don't believe you and never will anymore." He exclaimed, but it didn't impress Zelos. "But it's simply the truth! He's got the soul of a killer, and since his childhood! Even as they begged him and tried to make him see reason, he never cracked up. He revelled in their suffering!" I saw Yuan try to contain his anger the best he could as I was looking at them with a sickening expression as the memories flooded my mind. However, it was obvious Yuan wouldn't be able to stop himself for a long time and I felt more and more sick. I had to stop Zelos now.

"If you don't believe me, you can always ask the concerned one!" Zelos added with a dubious snicker, his eyes settling on me again as I was walking to them. I stopped Yuan at the last second before he hit the teen a second time. My face was once again inexpressive, even thought it took me all my strength to do it. "That's enough, Sano. Zelos is your superior and you better remember your place." I scolded him as I was firmly holding his wrist. Then, my gaze went on Zelos who was still grinning mockingly at me. "And you, you have work to do, if I'm well aware. It won't make itself! So go back to your office before I kick you there myself!" I ordered him dryly, which caused his smile to fall. He let out an outraged "Hmph!" before turning around and walking in the direction opposing the one I came from.

I finally released Yuan and he turned around to face me, a serious expression on his face. "Don't worry; I won't believe him this time!" He declared, now with a small smile. At his words, the images of the past rose to the surface again and I put a hand on my forehead, feeling myself lose my colors and stumble a little. What would I have given to remember nothing of this! I wanted for these images to go away, to leave me alone! "Kratos?" The worried voice of Yuan reached me and I gave a forced laugh as I was thinking back at his last words. Not trusting Zelos? It was so ironic! For once, he could trust him completely! "Kratos?" Yuan called me again, surely doubting my sanity. "And if... if I told you that what Zelos said just now was all true?" I said in a whisper with my gaze blank. My friend jumped and looked at me with wide eyes full of incomprehension. "W-what?" He exclaimed, surely wanting to believe he hadn't heard well. I sighed.

"Let's go to my office, we'll be more at ease to talk." And I could calm down once I could collapse into a chair. I didn't think I could stand for long. These memories were making me sick each time, especially since it had been so long that I had been able to hide them in the deepest part of my mind. Yuan agreed in silence and followed me to my office where he took place in a seat in front of me. I took the time to calm myself, to chase away the more I could these memories that haunted me since my childhood. When I finally judged myself calm enough, I began to talk, ignoring the worried looks Yuan was throwing me.

"What Zelos just said to you right now is, I unfortunately have to admit, totally true." I declared while putting my chin on my intertwined hands and closing my eyes to not see Yuan's reaction. I didn't want to see his horrified and disgusted expression. "I really killed countless children in cold blood." I admitted my voice full of remorse. Yuan didn't answer and I guessed he was surely too shocked to say anything. "I wasn't totally a yakuza at the time. It was right after Yggdrasil's father had... welcomed me under his care, if I can say it like this. I seriously doubt it, since he had just killed my parents right in front of my eyes." At these words, I opened my eyes to look at Yuan for the first time since we got in my office. I immediately saw his horrified expression. Ah yes, it was true. It was the first time I was talking about my past. And not without a reason. I would have preferred to have kept it hidden eternally. "My parents were only respectable citizens who were refusing the "protection" of the yakuza. Unfortunately for them, Yggdrasil's father didn't like it when someone refused something to him. They were killed one afternoon as I was coming back from school. I was seven at the time." I had put my hands down on the desk and was now clenching my fists to stop the shaking that threatened to take hold of me.

I suddenly felt something cover my hands and opened my eyes again to see Yuan's hands on top of mine to reassure me. I lifted my eyes and saw a compassionate look in my direction, which surprised me. I wasn't expecting a look like this right now. But it was going to disappear soon anyway. What I was about to tell now didn't deserve sympathy. "To make sure I wouldn't tell what I had seen to the police and thinking I could serve for his amusement, he brought me back with him to lock me up with other children at his headquarters. During the several days he left us there as he brought back more children, no one talked. We were too scared and didn't dare do any sound in fear he would come to punish us. Strangely, we thought that we shouldn't try to attract the sympathy of the others, or to talk to pass time. We were too preoccupied by our own thoughts to do so, anyway." As I was talking, it wasn't the office and Yuan I was seeing. "After several days, Yggdrasil's father brought us all in a big room and locked us in again. As far as he was concerned, he was looking at us from higher ground on a balcony with his eternal smile thirsty for blood." It was all coming back to me now, I could see the scene with too much clarity. "He said to us that no one would get out of the room as long as more than one child was left alive." Yuan hiccupped in terror in front of such cruelty. I had a bitter smile. It was far from being everything. "One child immediately jumped at the throat of another and the war began. It was every child for himself, there couldn't be any pity for the others. They all wanted to get out alive. And at that moment, I was blinded by rage, fear and vengeance. I was scared to die like all the others and I absolutely needed to stay alive to make the monster that had killed my parents pay, that monster that was looking at us from higher ground, taking delight in the show. So I... killed. In the cruellest way a child could do. I ignored the fear and cries of the other children, their pleas. All that I clearly remember is that even as their blood splattered everywhere, I never reacted to it. It wasn't affecting me!" My voice was shaking now, as was my entire body. I had buried my face in my hands. I didn't want to see this scene anymore, I didn't want to remember it, it was too horrible! "The minute I realised what I was doing, it was already too late. They were all dead and Yggdrasil's father was at my side, congratulating me. I vaguely remember him saying I would have a promising future in the yakuza..." I couldn't look at Yuan now. My eyes were closed again and my breathing was jerky.

Who knew what I would see in his eyes, on his face? Surely terror mixed with disgust. I greatly deserved it anyway. "I know it's too late and that it's not an excuse, but I didn't want to kill them! I would trade places with them anytime if I could, I..." I suddenly felt two arms embrace me from behind and I started violently. I hadn't noticed I had entered in a panicked state and that Yuan had circled the desk to take me in his arms. He wasn't rejecting me? Yuan would never cease to amaze me. "Calm down." He said with tenderness. "I'm not judging you, idiot." His words had the desired effect and I sighed before laughing softly. "Thanks, I appreciate your kindness." I said with an amused irony. I lifted my eyes on him and saw that he was serious. "You _really_ are an idiot!" He exclaimed with a harsh gaze. "Never, _never_ do I want to hear you say you want to change places with them again. No matter what happened in the past, there would have been one child left alive. If you hadn't act, another one would have done it in your place, you were all thinking the same thing. And what's more, even if we can't deny you had some responsibility in this, it's not your fault. The real culprit, the real monster in this is Yggdrasil's father. You, you are trying to redeem yourself for what you did for years now, you have remorse. You were also a victim in this. It's his fault alone, he was the one who forced you to do an unforgiving crime, he was the one who hurt so many children." It was... strange. I was telling myself these exact words during all these years to try to forgive myself, but I was never able to believe them. And now that Yuan was telling them to me, I felt a weight leave my shoulders, like all the souls of the children I killed were finally leaving me after having been clinging to me for all these years. How was Yuan doing to have such an effect on me? I didn't know the reason, but I was eternally grateful for it. "Thank you." I whispered with a smile, looking at him with sincerity in my eyes. How many times would he save me? Sometimes I had the impression of being only a burden for him. But that thought never stayed for a long time on my mind when each time I saw how much it was pleasing him in his eyes, that he would do everything for me like I would do everything for him. Our relation was as deep as that.

I sighed and left a tender but short kiss on Yuan's lips. "You better leave before someone arrives and sees you. I wouldn't want you to have any more trouble with Yggdrasil." I suggested, even if I would give everything for him to stay with me. However, his security was more important than everything and staying here was far from being prudent.

Yuan had a disappointed expression, but still agreed, understanding the situation we were in. "All right. I'll see you tonight, then?" He asked me joyfully and I nodded. "So see you tonight!" He said before quickly leaving the office.

I was right to let him go, since several minutes later, Pronyma was entering my office. If she would have seen us, she would have gone to report it immediately to Yggdrasil and he would have been in a terrible anger. Speaking of the devil...

"Lord Yggdrasil wishes to see you." She said after bowing to me. "He has an urgent matter he wants to give you and wishes that you come straight away." I stood up right away and without as much as a glance towards her, I left my office after answering a brief "Very well." I walked rapidly to the office of my superior, wondering what he could want. I didn't remember special orders due to arrive today and there hadn't been anything urgent to take care of for several days.

When I entered the room, I immediately sensed that everything would go wrong for me. Yggdrasil was leaning on his desk, his hands on the flat surface to stand straight. When he saw me, his lips twisted in a devilish smile and his eyes gleamed with excitement. He was planning something and whatever it was, it couldn't be good. I felt myself get on my guard right away, even thought it didn't show.

"Ah, Kratos, here you are!" He exclaimed in his sugary voice. He stood up and approached me, still looking at me with the same smile that grew in intensity. "You know, after you talked to me the other day, I got a marvellous idea!" He exclaimed like a child proud of his prank. I arched an eyebrow, wondering what he could have found. "Oh really?" I only asked, but it didn't reduce his smile, on the contrary. "Yes! When you asked me to treat you like a man, I wasn't really sure about what you meant exactly. But now, I finally understand! You want to go on another dangerous mission after all this time, an assassination!" The colors almost left my face at that, but I managed to stop it from happening. How? How could he arrive to such a conclusion?! It was the most stupid thing I had ever heard and it wasn't what I had wanted to make him understand! "After all, you said yourself that you were my most faithful warrior." He continued on his sugary tone and I immediately knew it was a way to test me. He wanted to see if I was really faithful to him, that my words weren't false.

But I wasn't too worried. I would only have to mention it to Yuan and he could warn the police to stop everything in time.

"We shall go right away."

This made me jump and I looked at him with surprise. Now? Without any preparation? What was he... "Right now? Mithos, I'm not even ready, I don't have my material since I haven't used it in years!" I exclaimed, trying to find a way to warn Yuan the sooner I could. Yggdrasil threw me a charming and mocking smile. "Don't worry, I went and brought back your material for you! See how much I'm taking care of you!" He said while showing a suitcase on his desk, one that I recognized straight away. It was indeed the material I was using in the older days.

"But why now? I mean, I don't even know my target, I don't know if it has to be done discreetly or as a scandal, where it is right now!" I tried again, even though I knew it was hopeless. It found I was right when he gave me a pile of papers. "All the information is written on these. You will have to assassinate Yoshihiro Tsubaki, the minister of Justice. It will be a perfect position for one of my faithful allies and it would give me an even greater influence on the judicial word, don't you think so?" He snickered. "My reliable sources taught me that today, he was bringing his daughter to see an opera. A perfect place to assassinate him, right?" I felt disgusted by the way he talked so lightly about this situation. But we were talking about Yggdrasil... "And anyway, I'm going with you." He asked simply and I looked at him with surprise and severity. "Mithos, you can't be serious?! It's impossible for me to assassinate someone and try to protect you at the same time!" I exclaimed and the eyes of my superior creased. "You don't think I can protect myself? In case you forgot, I am the president of this organisation. I can do much more than you think." And it was true. Knowing his father, Yggdrasil had certainly been obliged to face some ordeals before rising to the power of this organisation. "And I want to make sure your work will be done like it should. Not that I doubt you, but we never know." He was now looking at his nails with a nonchalant face and I grumbled lowly, making sure he wouldn't hear me. He wanted to watch over me to make sure the work would really be accomplished; he wanted to put pressure on me. How did things wound up like this?

"Mithos..." I began, but was cut out by the murderous glance he threw me. "Are you trying to duck out of it, Kratos? I thought you were my most faithful warrior!" He spat out, defying me. And now, I couldn't say anything to go against these words. If I tried again to find an excuse, he would be certain I was trying to betray him.

"Let's go." I declared simply with my completely neutral expression, taking my suitcase before leaving the office. Yggdrasil followed me with a smile of pure satisfaction. "That is exactly what I wanted to hear."

* * *

We were now at the Bunkan Kaikan, one of the biggest operas in all Japan. We had entered the place without much difficulty since Yggdrasil had gotten us tickets. Quickly, we had made our way to the fifth floor on an empty balcony since my superior had ordered it to be entirely reserved at his name for us to not be bothered. We would get some peace, for my own misfortune. Yggdrasil was too rich and powerful.

From where we were perched up, we had a great view of the entire auditorium. The entirely white scene was surrounded by imposing walls made of wood that didn't touch the roof as immaculate as the scene. The ground too was really pale, giving clarity to the auditorium, a brilliance that could make any singer or musician radiate on the scene.

The auditorium could contain up to two thousand people and surprisingly enough, it was almost full now, even if it was the afternoon. The young singers on the scene must be extremely popular. I couldn't really know, I never was interested in opera.

"If my information are exact, Yoshihiro must be on the second floor, on your right." Yggdrasil informed me while I discreetly and quickly fixed the sniper I had used so many times in my younger days. The simple fact of seeing it now was disgusting and scaring me to an unbelievable extent, as I knew perfectly that I couldn't get out of this situation I had been forced into. I noticed with irritation that my fingers were still perfectly used to fix it, like the gun was still a part of me. Despite the years I spent without touching it, I still wasn't rusted and it angered me.

In the highest discretion, after having finished preparing my weapon, I moved the sighting mark of the gun to the right to find my next... target. And it didn't take time to localise him. Yoshihiro was really on the second floor, listening to the opera in a mix of interest and bored expression. I was able to recognize him because of the pictures Yggdrasil had put in the folder he had given me. He was wearing a black suit over a white shirt with a black tie. His black hair long up to the middle of his back was tied at the back of his head in a ponytail. Next to him was sitting a pretty young girl with blond hair, wearing a white dress from which the large red ribbon was fastened in her back at her waist. The bouffant skirt was going down to her knees and her feet with black schoolgirl shoes were swaying. Her blue eyes were settled on the scene with interest as she seemed captivated by the music coming from below. Seeing them both, it wasn't hard to guess it was the young girl who had dragged her father along with her. It was a little surprising.

As I was searching for the minister, panic had gained me again, even if it didn't show on the outside. I was scared, scared to kill an innocent again. Especially since I had promised Yuan that I wouldn't kill anymore. What should I do? I couldn't disobey Yggdrasil, or he would doubt something was off...

"Did you find him, Kratos?" Hissed the latter with irritation in front of my lack of reaction.

"Just a moment, I'm still searching." I lied, faking to look around the balcony. Unfortunately, I couldn't use that excuse for a long time since the information Yggdrasil had given me were really specific and the balcony on the second floor wasn't too big. And the more I faked searching, the more I panicked. Because I couldn't find a solution to get myself out of this predicament. My hands were already too stained in blood, I didn't need to add more on them!

"Kratos, what's taking you so long!!" My superior hissed again in anger. "You were so much better at the time! You would already have killed him!! And don't tell me you're rusted, I won't believe it!"

"I've got him." I simply answered, settling my sniper in the direction of Yoshihiro.

"Ah, it's about time. Now shoot him!"

But I couldn't do it, I didn't want to! What would Yuan say when he would learn what happened?

I would have failed my promise, after all.

Couldn't there be a miracle?

* * *

**A/N : **Oh my! Is Kratos going to kill him, or is he going to have his miracle? You'll find out in the next chapter, muah ah ah X3

By the way, sorry about the lateness of this chapter. We kind of both have been caught up in school and work and life, so, yeah... All in all, we don't have that much of an excuse xD

Anyway, I still hope that you liked this chapter! You've learned quite a lot about Kratos' past, after all!

Well, I'll see you all in two chapters, don't forget to review, please! Reviews makes us reaaaaally happy!


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **Hi everyone! We're back with chapter 18.

Have fun reading it; I'll see you at the end! ;)

* * *

**Chapter 18**

After many days spent at gathering the more information possible on the Jiang clan, I was finally ready to approach them directly. I had settled on a strategy, which was really simple but effective. I would pass myself off as a gun collector interested in their goods. And I already knew what I had to do to get close to them.

The cousin of the Jiang's son, Yu-sen Wu, was spending most of his time in a back-alley bar that wasn't very respectable. He was doing his gun traffic there for the Jiang clan and the owners were putting on a blind eye, like he was doing nothing illegal. And they were not the only ones. Many establishments were doing the same as they were only interested in the profits it was gaining them. Normally, I would denounce such illegal traffic, but I couldn't do it if I wanted to use Wu. According to my information, he was a cheeky young man who could be rather easy to manipulate, which would play at my advantage.

Therefore, I went to said bar one evening when Kratos was overwhelmed with work. From outside, the place seemed to be a miserable pub badly kept, but I didn't pay it much attention. What really interested me was what waited inside of it. I pushed the door open and immediately felt many eyes turned in my direction. I guessed the clients were regulars at the way they were staring at me. I ignored them and walked nonchalantly to the counter where I took place. I ordered a whiskey under the barman' intense gaze. I waited for the conversations to take up their normal course, listening intently to everything around me. I had to locate Wu if he was in the place right now. The snatches of conversations that were getting to me were a confused mess, so I threw a careful glance around me, looking at every person in the place. It was then that one of them caught my attention: A young man in his early twenties, with short black hair and features that were clearly Chinese. He was talking with another man and things seemed to heat up, if I trusted the way their voices kept getting higher.

Suddenly, they stopped talking and stared at each other. The second men brusquely stood up and left the bar, his face white as if he had seen a ghost. Intrigued, my attention quickly went back to the men I suspected to be Wu. He looked rather dissatisfied. It probably wasn't the right moment to approach him, but I couldn't afford to wait any longer. I stood up, bringing my glass with me and walked slowly to the young man, who looked at me with a prudent gaze.

"Are you Yu-sen Wu?" I directly asked with a pleasant smile, which didn't erase his suspicious gaze.

He folded his arms on his chest and looked me over. "It depends of who's asking." He replied ever so suspiciously. I had a side smile at his reply. I sat in front of him without asking for his permission, never letting go of my smile. "It depends if I'm a customer or not, is that it?" I couldn't hide the amusement in my voice. He seemed like a rather interesting person to deal with. He didn't answer my question, so I decided to continue. "I'm Sano Nagano. I heard about your little _business_ and I must admit I'm interested in dealing with you. I'm kind of a collector, if you see what I mean." His mistrust seemed to melt a little. "And what kind of goods are you interested in?" He curiously inquired. "It depends only on what you can offer me. I'm searching for authentic goods and not fake ones, weapons that are not sold on the industrial scale here. In other words, rare weapons."

According to my information, their weapons dealing was essentially turning around Chinese weapons that were not already massively produced on the Japanese black market. And it wasn't rare to see Japanese wanting to get some, since they were really rare and hard to find on the black market. "While supposing I'm selling the kind of weapons you're talking about, for what reason should I trust you?" This time I openly laughed. "What, you think I'm a spy or something? No, I can assure you I'm nothing more than a simple collector who happens to have a close friend who recently made a deal with you and told me all about you. And before you ask, I have the means to pay. It won't be a problem." He seemed satisfied, since he didn't add anything. He was thoughtful for a long time. "I'm going to think about your offer and contact you soon, since I don't have the goods with me right now." He explained slowly and I nodded. I wrote my cell number on a piece of paper and hold it to him. "Here's the number where you can contact me; but don't take too long, I don't like waiting after something I really want." I answered on a pleasant tone and he has a vaguely amused smile.

In a way, it was true. I didn't have time to lose. I had to quickly gather the more information possible. I had a little more than two weeks left, but still. He took the paper I was holding out. "Right. I'll try to be quick about it." At least, we understood each other on that point. I think I did the right thing in contacting that man. He would help me get close to the Jiang clan.

* * *

I hadn't received any news from Wu in two days and I was beginning to get impatient. Furthermore since I had to give my first report to Yggdrasil today. I didn't want him to take my lack of progress like an excuse to _punish_ me again. I was sure he would take any pretext he could to hurt me. Like I would give out one day. If I did, it only meant my convictions and my love for Kratos weren't deep and true.

It was with these thoughts in mind that I went to Yggdrasil's office, hiding my nervousness the best I could. I hated the feeling of terror he was giving rise in me. When I was in front of the door to his office, I knocked on the door, waiting for his answer. It didn't take long to come. He asked me to enter, which I did reluctantly. But when I opened the door, I wasn't expecting what was waiting for me on the other side. There was a man in the room, other than Yggdrasil. Covered with wounds, he was prostrated on the ground and his entire body was shaking. When he saw me, he threw me a pleading look. I couldn't turn my gaze away from his pitiful form, wondering what was going on. Yggdrasil's cold laugh rapidly turned my attention on my "superior" and I shivered when I saw his cruel smile.

"I came to give you my first report, like you asked." I announced with an equal voice, hiding my uneasiness the best I could. Yggdrasil walked to me and I gave him my report. He threw a disinterested glance at it before putting it on his desk. I was about to leave, but his poisonous voice stopped me dead in my tracks. "Don't leave so soon; I need you to do something for me first."

I stiffened straight away, not liking what it could mean. He continued, laid-back as ever. "I learned you laid your hand on Zelos a couple of days before." I answered nothing, trying not to show my nervousness. But he seemed to see it since he laughed disturbingly. "Don't worry, I won't punish you like last time. I thought about something much more amusing." He motioned me to come closer, which I did with some hesitation. When I was near him, he took me by my shoulders and turned me around until I was facing the poor terrorized man, still prostrated on the ground. Yggdrasil leaned towards me to whisper in my ear. "I got wind of your behaviors through your reports and I got the impression you weren't... hardened enough. And that isn't acceptable in the ranks of my yakuza."

I shivered at what it was implying. I hoped I was mistaken. Yggdrasil went away and I heard the sound of a drawer being opened behind me. I didn't dare turn around, from fear of what I would see. He joined me again and dropped an object in my hand. It took me a superhuman effort to lower my eyes on what exactly I was holding in the palm of my hand. My heart stopped beating when I recognized Yggdrasil's whip, that object of misfortune that caused me so much pain. My hand shook without me being able to stop it. Yggdrasil noticed it.

"Could it be recalling memories to your mind, by chance? I imagine the scars are still visible on your back." He whispered with a voice full of malice. I violently shivered at the memory of the whip leaving a trail of fire on my skin and the hate I was feeling for him strengthened again. I didn't react to his comment, knowing full well he would have too much pleasure from this. His hands, still on my shoulders, pushed me ahead.

"You know what I'm expecting of you." He said simply. Oh yes, I knew. But I could only throw an horrified look to the man I had to punish. I... I could never do something so horrible, so inhuman! How could I make him go through the same torture that I had myself endured? His hands tightened painfully on my shoulders. "What are you waiting for? If you really are loyal to me, then you must obey my orders. And I order you to punish him." His icy voice resounded near me.

His words alarmed me highly. It was almost like this ordeal was to test me, and not only for making me pay for Kratos and what I did to Zelos. Could it be that... that he had doubts on my real identity?! No, impossible!! I had to be imagining this, I _had_ to. But that simple thought was enough to leave me in a cold sweat. I was unable to think anymore, to make even one movement, unable to answer something.

Yggdrasil quickly got impatient. He caught my wrist and I jumped violently. He was so close to me now, I could even feel his hot breath on my neck. "It seems like you need some help." He said with a voice both amused and cruel. He forced me to close my fingers on the whip and lifted my arm slowly. Mortified, I wanted to stop him, but I couldn't, or else it would be the end of me. And he knew it. The bastard knew it. At the first mistake on my behalf, at the slightest refusal to follow his orders, he would get rid of me. This was why he was bearing that demented smile; I could see it at the corner of my eye. He knew he had total control over me. I was nothing more than a pawn between his hands and it was terrifying me.

My arm shook despite myself, like it was trying to go against the revolting act I was going to do against my will. The man lifted his pleading face in my direction, silently begging for my mercy. I closed my eyes to try to block the vision of his eyes haunting me when Yggdrasil lowered my arm with strength. And as his screams and pleas resounded in the room, I silently prayed for this stranger to forgive me for all the pain I was inflicting him.

* * *

When I arrived at home, I slammed the front door and let myself slide against it to the floor under Kratos' worried gaze. I wasn't even conscious he was calling my name, as I was too terrified and disgusted by what had just happened, by what I had _done_. I couldn't stop the uncontrollable shaking of my body. Suddenly, nausea washed over me and I stood up, rushing to the bathroom to throw up. When I was certain I wouldn't be sick again, I leaned on the closed door and closed my eyes as the pictures of what I had just endured still tormented me. I lifted my knees to my chest and dropped my head on them, ignoring Kratos' worried voice on the other side of the door. "_You see, it's not so difficult." His sugary voice reached me and I shook again. "No, don't make me..." I whispered with difficulty, already regretting looking so vulnerable in front of him. His hold on my wrist tightened. "Silence! You won't stop until I tell you so." And he made me slash out again and again, until I wished for death a thousand times for all the hurt I was causing this poor man._

I could still hear his screams as they were getting louder and louder in my head. I could still feel the tremors in my arm every time I released the whip on _my _victim. I could still hear the amused voice of my tormentor.

I don't know how much time I stayed on the bathroom floor and I wasn't even conscious of getting up to leave the room. Kratos was there, gnawed by anxiety. I really must have seemed sick, since he checked my temperature. I was still shaking from head to toes as I still had the impression of being in that forsaken place. I desperately clung to Kratos, whispering words in my terror. "How can he be so cruel?" I couldn't understand how someone could take so much pleasure at seeing the suffering of others. And I didn't want to understand. But one thing was for certain; Yggdrasil had found my weak point. He could hurt me physically as much as he wanted, he would never break me. But I couldn't bear to hurt someone and he seemed to know it. If he kept doing this, he would shatter me completely. And I was scared. I was terrified at the idea he might do it again, at the idea of repeating such a revolting act.

Kratos seemed to understand what had happened without me needing to talk, since he took me in his arms and whispered sweet words to calm me. I buried myself in his embrace, still shaking. Kratos didn't ask me what happened and I was glad for it. I didn't think I would have been able to tell him anyway. After a long time, I managed to calm down under Kratos' tender attentions. His presence kept the memories of that horrible experience far away, at least for the evening. What I wouldn't give to keep them locked deep inside me, but I knew it would not happen. They would haunt me for a long time.

* * *

The next day, when I went to the headquarters, I unfortunately came across Zelos again. He immediately took the opportunity to ask maliciously about my punishment and I told him it wasn't his business. However, he stopped me again, mentioning something about _children_. He tried to gain a reaction from me by telling these stupidities, saying that Kratos had killed innocent children when he was young. This time, I didn't believe him, but anger still rose in me by hearing him say such lies. But he didn't stop there and soon I couldn't control myself anymore. Without thinking about the consequences, I lifted my hand to hit him again, but Kratos arrived at that moment and stopped me by catching my wrist before I could do a stupid mistake. He scolded me in front of Zelos before telling him to go back to work. I assured Kratos I didn't believe him, but the expression on his face abashed me. He had a forced laugh and I called his name in an unsure way. He then told me I could trust every single word Zelos had said this time. It was like I had receive a cold shower. He couldn't really mean... He invited me in his office for us to be more at ease to talk. There, he told me all about a part of his past, when he had been taken under the wing of Yggdrasil's father. Horror made its way in me when he told me how that man had killed his parents in front of his eyes and how he had brought him back with him to make sure he wouldn't tell the police what had happened.

Seeing how his memories were affecting him, I put my hands on his to reassure him and to push him silently to continue on. It was the first time he was opening himself to me like this, and it was deeply touching me. He told me with a tormented voice what Yggdrasil's father had done to all those poor children, forcing them to kill each other to survive. I couldn't refrain a hiccup of terror as terrifying images ran through my head. What cruelty!! I couldn't understand how Kratos managed to stay sane after having put up with such a trial, after having been forced to kill so many innocent children. Kratos buried his face in his hands, like he was trying to block the memories that were pouring in. Seeing him panic, I brusquely stood up and circled the desk to take him in my arms. He jumped violently, like he wasn't expecting such a gesture on my behalf. I knew his greatest fear was of me rejecting him, of me being disgusted of him now that he had told me a part of his bloodied past. But I would never do this; I loved him too much. I accepted everything in him, his qualities and his flaws, as well as the darkness that dwelt in his heart.

I asked him to calm down, telling him I wasn't judging him, but he didn't take me seriously. I told him he was an idiot and made him understand he didn't have to blame himself for what happened, that the real culprit was Yggdrasil's father. My words seemed to calm him since he soon relaxed in my arms. He thanked me and I saw in his eyes how sincere he was. I was happy being able to be there for him, to be able to give him comfort like he was doing so many times for me. He dropped a short kiss on my lips and before I could ask for more, he advised me to leave before someone arrives and discovers me in his office. I was disappointed since I wanted to stay with him a while longer, but he was right. It would be wiser for me to leave. While making sure I would see him this evening, I quickly left the office to go in search of the new information on the Jiang clan I had left in the headquarters.

I was about to exit the headquarters when I heard muffled voices from the other side of a closed door. I wouldn't have bothered with it, if I hadn't recognized one of the voices as Zelos and his words made me stop in my tracks.

"_... has left with Kratos?!"_

When I heard Kratos' name, my curiosity got the better of me and I got closer to the door, listening intently.

"_Yes. They just left." _A woman's voice I didn't hear before answered in a bored way.

"_And where did they go?" _Zelos' voice was becoming more and more irritated.

"_I believe I'm not in the obligation to tell you."_

"_I'm your superior, Pronyma, and I order you to tell me!" _Zelos exclaimed furiously and I couldn't help myself thinking he was acting like a spoiled child. A moment of silence followed before the women name Pronyma spoke again.

"_You know, sometimes I can't help but wonder why Lord Yggdrasil made you his second lieutenant."_ She added with an annoyed voice and I could imagine what kind of expression Zelos was wearing right about now. But if he had wanted to say something, he didn't get the time, since Pronyma talked again.

"_They both went to the Bukan Kaikan. Yoshihiro Tsubaki, the minister of justice, is currently there with his daughter. Lord Yggdrasil has given Lord Kratos the order to assassinate him."_

As soon as the words left her mouth, my heart stopped beating for a second as I was realizing what was happening. No... Kratos couldn't do this!! He couldn't kill again, he promised me!! But maybe... maybe it was all lies, maybe he was still in his office! With this slim hope, I ran as fast as I could to Kratos' office and swiped his door opened, only to notice it was empty.

Kratos was gone. Truly. My face lost all colors at the thought of him dirtying his hands one more time. No, I couldn't let him do it! Without thinking further in, I ran out of the headquarters and quickly opened the door of my car. I climbed inside and started the engine before driving quickly towards the opera house. Fortunately, it wasn't too far from here. I knew going there myself was a really bad idea, that I would be in great danger of being recognized since Yggdrasil was with Kratos, but in my panicked state, I couldn't think of another way. I had to stop Kratos, to stop him from committing this crime, to prevent him from breaking his promise to me!! I drove at a high speed, praying in the meantime that I wouldn't arrive too late. I took out my cellphone and quickly dialed Bryant's number, ignoring the shaking of my hand. He picked up the receiver after the third ringing.

"Hello, Commissioner Bryant here."

"Bryant, it's Yuan. There's been a problem, I need your help!!" I couldn't stop myself from sounding panicked on the phone.

"Calm down and tell me what happened." He told me quickly with worry in his voice.

"Kratos is going with Yggdrasil to the Bukan Kaikan opera house right as we speak with the intention of killing the minister of justice!!" I exclaimed with panic and Bryant's answer didn't take time to come.

"What?!! You're sure of that?!"

"I can't be more certain and I need your help! We have to evacuate the minister before it's too late!" I rapidly explained and a silence was heard on the other end.

"What does this mean?! You intend to go there?!" He groaned in the phone. He was angry.

"I don't have a choice. We have to act as quickly as possible." I replied nervously.

"Yuan, don't go, it's an order! Yggdrasil must not see you or everything is over! I'm sending some of my men right now to evacuate him." He ordered me with his authoritative voice. I clenched my teeth at what I was about to answer.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to ignore your orders this time around. I have to take the risk. I can't let him do this and the opera house is much closer to the headquarters than the police station. I have more chances of saving him."

"Yuan –" He began, but I cut him harshly.

"I'm counting on you, commissioner." I hang up, knowing I would suffer his wrath as soon as it would be over. I didn't expect him to understand my motives, anyway. If I could stop Kratos from committing another crime, it didn't matter to me if I was putting myself in danger.

I barely took the time to park my car at the opera house, grabbing my badge before getting out of my vehicle. I entered the entrance hall in a harry, addressing the receptionist while trying to stay calm, despite the fact my heart was beating like crazy. She looked at me with wide and surprised eyes, but I didn't let her the time to talk. I didn't have time to lose.

"Can you tell me where I can find mister Yoshihiro Tsubaki and his daughter?"

She seemed about to refuse me or to ask me the reason why I wanted to see him, but I went ahead of her by showing her quickly my police badge. Her eyes widened again and fortunately, she didn't lose anymore time.

"He's on the 2-B balcony, mister." She answered quickly and I ran in the direction she was indicating. As I was running alongside the hallways, I didn't hear anything besides the muffled sound of the singer's voices on stage. I tried to persuade myself that nothing had happened yet and that the minister was still alive. I quickly climbed the stairs and located the 2-B balcony. I ran to the door and opened it promptly, but the sound was muffled by the voice of the singers that were clearly getting to me now. I let my eyes roam over the people sitting in the balcony in the dim lights. The spectators were all sitting comfortably, unaware of the danger that was hanging over them. Well, over only one of them. I could make in my mind the image of Kratos perched on a higher balcony, a sniper in his hands, ready to do the unforgivable against his will.

I knew the minister had to be sitting between all these people, but I had never seen him before. And even thought he was within my reach, I couldn't advance onto the balcony to search for him without having the chance of being seen by Yggdrasil. I had to make him leave by himself, as well as all these other people. But how? I had to act fast before it was too late! Suddenly, an idea bloomed in my head. It was risky, but I had no other choice.

I closed the door to the balcony and my eyes searched for something specific in the hallway. I finally found what I was searching for. The fire alarm. I reached it without losing time and quickly pulled down the device, activating the fire alarm. Straight away, a cacophony of panicked and confused voices resounded from the balconies. The doors opened and the panicked spectators came out in the hallway where I was. A young woman noticed me and rushed up to me, an anxious expression on her face. "What's going on?!" She exclaimed, completely panicked. Many heads turned in our direction. I lifted my police badge high in the air.

"Police!! Please evacuate calmly towards the emergency exits!" I yelled above the commotion. Screams burst forth of the crowd who were now rushing to the emergency exits. During that time, my eyes had never left the door of the 2-B balcony as I was nervously searching for someone who could be the minister of justice. Then I saw a man in his thirties with long black hair and wearing an expensive black suit get out of the balcony. He was holding the hand of a little girl with blond hair who seemed confused and scared. My intuition screamed to me he was the minister of justice. I rapidly made my way to him, pushing away the distraught spectators that were blocking me. When I had finally met up with him, he threw me both a panicked and suspicious gaze.

"Are you mister Yoshihiro Tsubaki?" I asked without detour with an urgent voice. He nodded, holding his daughter even closer to him. I showed him my badge and the expression of his face changed drastically. "Police. Follow me, you're in danger."

To my own surprise, he didn't seem surprised. He nodded again swiftly, his face losing all colors and he held his daughter close to him. I put a hand on his back and pushed them both towards the exit, blending ourselves in the crowd on purpose. It was at this precise moment that my gaze was inexplicably attracted to the end of the hallway and met a pair of carmine eyes. Kratos was staring at me with an indecipherable look in his eyes and his face was void of any expression. We stayed frozen like this for what seemed to me like an eternity, until I saw a man with long golden hair pass by Kratos rapidly. Yggdrasil. Returning to the reality and the danger of my situation, I quickly turned away to escape with the minister and protect him. Yggdrasil must not see me and I prayed that he didn't already have.

When we got out of the building, I immediately noticed several police cars stationed in front of the entrance with their lights on. I quickly climbed down the stairs with the minister and his daughter, walking to my colleagues who immediately recognized me. Knowing the situation, two of them met up with us quickly. "How fortunate; he's okay." One of them said with relief. "Yes, but we better bring them both to a secured place as quickly as possible." I added, still worried that Yggdrasil might try again to get rid of him. I didn't want to take the chance of it happening. And I wouldn't be able to calm down until I knew for certain that Kratos couldn't harm him despite himself.

They nodded and brought the minister to one of the cars as the other police officers were trying to calm the panicked crowd getting out of the opera house. My cellphone suddenly rang and I picked up the call, turning my back to the crowd to hear my interlocutor.

"Hello?"

"We will have a long conversation later, you and me." Bryant's deep voice resounded in my hear. I knew it would come to this... Again, I had done everything I could to protect Kratos and I knew Bryant wouldn't be happy about that. Well, too bad. I would suffer the consequences. "Once the problem with the minister will be dealt with, I'll be going to your apartment. And another thing; I gave the order of arresting Kratos at sight. And I don't want to hear you protest. My patience has limits." He groaned and I clenched my teeth in discontentment. He really wanted to arrest him, didn't he? Despite the fact he didn't succeed in killing the minister? I was really annoyed by his behavior, but I didn't say anything. He was already furious beyond belief; I didn't need to push his limits further on.

"As you want." I answered simply and heard him hang up brutally at the other end. I decided not to lose anymore time here and take the risk of Yggdrasil seeing me. I got to my car and went back home, my heart still as heavy as before.

* * *

Many hours after I had gotten home, the front door was slammed opened, letting in an angered Kratos. He was angry beyond belief and his eyes were promising a painful death. I was in the kitchen when he emerged in the room. I didn't have the time to place one word that he was pushing me against the wall without restraint. I grimaced in pain when my back brutally hit the harsh surface.

"_**what the hell were you thinking?!!"**_ His anger exploded as he was keeping me pinned against the wall by my shoulders. Being treated like this by him annoyed me and I threw him a dark glance.

"I wanted to stop you from committing a murder!!" It was my turn to yell and I lifted my arms to get him off of me, but he was quicker than me. His hands gripped harshly my wrists, holding them securely in a tight hold.

"Just say you wanted to get killed!! _Yggdrasil was there_, he could have seen you!!!" He groaned maliciously between his teeth. I tried to free myself, but he was stronger than me and his hold never weakened. I began to panic, because I had never seen him this angry at me before and it was terrifying. It almost seemed like he was holding himself back from hitting me. My fear fed my anger even more.

"I didn't have a choice! The police would never have been there in time and the minister would be dead as we speak!" I replied in a voice as strong as him. A dangerous growl rose from the back of his throat. "This is your excuse for putting yourself in danger like that?!!" He spat out, his eyes boring into me with a dangerous glint. I couldn't stop myself from shaking under the fear.

"What did you expect me to do? That I let you break the promise you had made me?!" I replied on the defensive and Kratos' answer didn't take time to arrive. He pinned me furthermore against the wall and I grimaced in pain. "I expected you to stay out of this!!" His hold on my wrists tightened again and this time, I let out an exclamation of pain.

"Let go of me, you're hurting me!" I furiously hissed while throwing him a murderous look, but he didn't release me. He was so angry that he didn't realize he was hurting me. If I didn't stop him, he might do something he would come to regret. I tried to wriggle out of his hold, but it was meaningless. I panicked more and more, hating that feeling of vulnerability.

"I said let me go!!" I repeated, this time with a voice full of fear.

This seemed to tear him out of his trance as his eyes widened for several seconds before he suddenly let got of my wrists. I immediately cowered unconsciously towards the wall, like I wanted to put a distance between us. His face immediately took on an expression of regret and he staggered towards the table, letting himself fall into a chair. I looked at him during all that time with fear in my eyes, massaging my aching wrists. Kratos took his head between his hands and lowered his gaze.

"I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you." He said in a whisper that I almost didn't hear. I jumped when I heard the change in his tone, but I didn't have the heart to answer anything. What could I have said anyway? I let myself fall to the ground and tried to calm my breathing, never letting my gaze falter from Kratos. A long silence took place between us, which seemed to go on for several minutes. I was the first one to break it.

"...Why can't we seem to get along? Why are we always fighting with each other?" I whispered as my lips drew a sad and bitter smile. I had the impression it was the only thing we were doing when we were alone, squabbling with each other. Why couldn't we act like a normal couple and take advantage of the time we got alone? What was I saying... were we only a couple? A couple who could show affection only to a certain level, a couple who couldn't show his real nature to the world. These depressive thoughts got the better of me. I put my knees to my chest and my arms circled them as I hid my face behind them.

Another moment passed in silence before I heard Kratos stand up and come sit next to me on the ground. I stiffened for a short moment, but relaxed again when Kratos slipped an hesitating arm around my shoulders, pulling me softly against him. He stroked my hair with infinite tenderness, like he wanted to apologize. After some time, I lifted my face from my knees and pressed myself against him. I sighed and closed my eyes as his heat put me at ease.

He tightened his embrace lightly and whispered in my hear. "If only you didn't act unconsciously like that. Seeing you putting yourself in danger like that is driving me insane." He admitted honestly and I immediately felt bad about it. And even if I knew I was worrying him sick, I couldn't do differently. It was in myself to want the safety and happiness of others, no matter what it cost me. And this time it was about Kratos, the man that I loved. The decision hadn't been hard to take. I sighed again before replying. "I said before that I didn't fear danger. Not because I don't realise it, but because I would die for you, if need be." I admitted with a weak voice. Kratos' reaction was almost immediate. He pushed me away softly in order to bore his severe gaze in mine.

"And you think I would be happy to see you die for me? I don't want to hear you say such things anymore, you hear me?" He scolded me on a tone both low and dead serious. I bit my lip and turned my gaze away as I couldn't bear the weight of his eyes on me anymore. "But that's really what I feel. I..." I stopped as I was unable to say the words that were burning my tongue. The reason why I was ready to give up my life for him was because he was my most important person. I would do anything for him, to protect him, to give him a chance to live the life he desire, to allow him the chance to leave this infernal cage that kept him captive.

Kratos didn't urge me to finish my thoughts. Instead, he kissed my forehead and caressed my cheek with the tip of his fingers.

"I was afraid, you know. I was so scared to lose you." He confessed and I saw in his eyes that this thought was still haunting him. I wanted to reassure him, to tell him that it wouldn't happen, but I couldn't be sure of it myself. I stayed silent and settled more comfortably in his arms.

I hoped to stay like this for a long time, lost in Kratos' reassuring embrace, but a loud knocking on the front door was heard and broke our peaceful moment. I grimaced as I knew who it was. I had almost forgotten there was someone else that didn't have his turn yet in yelling at me. I felt Kratos' confused gaze on me. "It's Bryant." I said simply and saw him frown. I ignored him and pulled away reluctantly from his embrace. Standing up, I walked to the front door and prepared myself mentally for what would happen before opening it. Waiting for me on the other side was Bryant. His features were harsh an serious. I let him in without saying anything.

Suddenly, rage took control of his features as he was staring at something behind me. "_**You!!**_ I don't know what's stopping me from beating the shit out of you!!!" He said spitefully as he walked pass me. I turned rapidly around, only to see him grab the collar of Kratos' shirt, who had followed me to the entrance. Bryant brought their faces closer in a menacing way. Kratos showed no emotion aside from a slight annoyance. This irritated my superior further in. "I should put you behind bars right now, it would be a good thing done." He seethed through his teeth. It was at this time that I finally left my numb state as I realised what he was saying. I rushed to Bryant and caught his arm, trying to make him loosen his hold. "Bryant, stop!! He did nothing wrong this time!!"

Bryant didn't lower his eyes on me as he kept them fixed on Kratos with an hatred that would make anyone flee with fear. "Oh, maybe this time, but he'll do it again. Do you really believe you will always be able to stop him in time?" His words made me grimace, because I knew it was the truth. Surely I wouldn't always be able to protect him. If Yggdrasil kept on forcing him to commit murders, it would become impossible at some point. But I still found the need to protest. "Why are you so intent on locking him up? Why are you so intent on seeing me miserable?!" In the midst of my anger and pain, I didn't give a damn about my lack of respect for him. Kratos loosened Bryant's hold on him and threw me a soft look. "Yuan, stop it. It won't change anything; he won't change his mind anytime soon." He tried to calm me, surely feeling that my emotions were rising dangerously fast. I couldn't accept this, I could never do it!

Bryant threw his a murderous glance before turning his attention to me. "Your misfortune? He's the one who's going to make you miserable!! He'll never bring you anything good." He began while pointing an accusing finger at Kratos. I wanted to refute his words, but he wasn't finished. "Because of him, you're putting your life in danger, you're disobeying my orders and you don't give a damn about your job anymore. Where is the Yuan I came to know? Since when was he replaced by a careless man who would sacrifice his life so easily? You were more laid-back and calm before meeting him. _You were thinking before._ But now, all that I see in front of me is a foolish man eaten by his emotions." As he was talking, I felt my body began to shake and my face lost all its colors as every word he said left a bleeding wound in my heart. He forced me to see what I had become without even realising it. He forced me to see how much I had changed in the last month. I was nothing more than the shadow of the man I had been before. Nothing mattered to me now besides the man that was standing next to me, not even my own life. I had ceased to live for myself; I was living only for Kratos.

I was so shaken that I almost didn't hear Kratos reply with an hatred that I had rarely seen in him; "It's enough!! I won't allow you to insult him anymore!" Bryant threw him another dark look. "You, stay out of this! He knows I'm right; I'm only opening his eyes." He added with as much hatred as Kratos had displayed. I couldn't take this anymore. I didn't want to hear the cruel things Bryant was saying and I didn't want to feel more of this hatred that coursed between those two. I cut off Kratos as he was about to reply something.

"Stop it!!" I let out with a hurt and tired voice. They both turned their heads in my direction. "Stop it, I can't take it anymore..." I repeated more weakly. I only wanted this to stop. I already had too much emotions for this one day. I wouldn't bear anymore.

A silence dropped down on us, one that was far from being comfortable. Suddenly, Bryant turned around and walked to the front door. He put his hand on the door knob and seemed to hesitate. He turned his head in my direction and his gaze was still severe. "Yuan, be sure of one thing; I can't see you destroying yourself like this anymore. I have to take a decision. I'll decide in the next days if I put another officer on this investigation. Seeing the state of the situation, it would probably be the best course of action." He said solemnly before leaving the apartment in a hurry. This had the effect of a cold shower on me. T-taking back the investigation?!! No, he couldn't! It meant I could never see Kratos again, that I would have to erase all my connections with Yggdrasil's mafia, that I had to erase all traces od my existence near them! Only thinking about it was making me sick.

I wavered on my legs and was about to collapse, but Kratos saw it and held me up just in time. He seemed highly worried, but also still furious after Bryant and the things he had said to me. However, he didn't say anything and guided me to my bedroom so I could sit on my bed. But that feeling of uneasiness never left me as it clenched around my heart painfully. Kratos didn't sit next to me. Instead, he paced around the room and I knew this attitude wasn't befitting of him. I could see anxiety on his face and it alarmed me. "Kratos?" I whispered his name weakly and he stopped pacing. When he finally told me what was tormenting him, his back was to me and I couldn't see his face. "If he's really fond of you like he said to me the last time, why does he want to take back your investigation?! Doesn't he know it will end with your death?! You can't get out of this alive now!" His fists clenched with fury.

So that's what was troubling him. He thought I had no option other than dying or succeeding in arresting Yggdrasil. He wasn't aware of the police's means. I closed my tired eyes. "There is a way. Well, more than one way to avoid me this fate." Kratos turned around and threw me an inquisitive glance, pushing me to continue. "There are always many unidentified corpses lying in the morgue and the police are allowed to use them. It would be easy for them to announce I have been the victim of an unfortunate accident. They would only have to disguise one of these corpses to look just like me. Yggdrasil would easily fall for it. Then they would have to transfer me to another department, far away from here. All that would be left to do would be to make sure I would never have any contact with a member of Yggdrasil's organization ever again... including you." I whispered the last part while rising my eyes on Kratos.

For me, this solution was almost worst than death. It would mean I would never be able to see him again, that I would be forced to forget about him as time passes. This thought alone was scaring me. Why was it happening when I finally held in my hands what I so desired? When will we be able to live in peace, without anyone to get in our way and try to destroy the relationship we were trying to built? I realised with bitterness and sadness that it would most likely never happen.

I buried my tired face in my hands and sighed at lenght. How I wished for this day to be only a nightmare that seemed too real. Too lost in my thoughts, I was barely aware that Kratos had joined me on the bed. He took me in his arms again to reassure me. "Yuan, everything will be all right. We'll get out of this situation." He tried to calm and reassure me with words I'm not even sure he believed in, but I didn't care. I only needed his presence close to me. I returned his embrace, laying my head on his chest and closing my eyes. "Promise me that you wont abandon me. I'm not sure I'll be able to go on if you're not here with me." I said with desperation. "I promise you. No matter what happens, I'll always be with you." He whispered in return. I answered nothing, but I was relieved that he was promising me this. I didn't want to lose him, no matter if it was because of Yggdrasil, Bryant, or anyone else. Like Bryant had said, nothing mattered to me now besides Kratos. I wouldn't be able to survive if he wasn't there to hold me up.

The days that were to follow promised to be hard to overcome.

* * *

I had barely slept that night as my thoughts were haunted by the events of the previous day. Even the reassuring presence of Kratos near me wasn't enough to erase my feeling of insecurity. I needed some time alone, so I untangled myself from the nest of his arms, being careful not to wake him up. I got out of bed and dressed myself in silence. It was still early, but I wasn't able to go back to sleep anyway. I had the irrational urge to see the daybreak and to think about nothing, particularly not about what the future had in store for me, for _us_. Since my emotions had calmed down, I was feeling strangely empty and apathetic, as if I didn't have feelings anymore. It was better this way. If I could avoid feeling my sorrow and distress, even for a short moment, I would be happy.

Before leaving the room, I looked at Kratos sleeping peacefully. It got the better of me. I reached the bed without a sound and I leaned over my lover, dropping a sweet kiss on his lips. "I love you so much, you know. If only it was enough for us to stay together always..." I whispered tenderly and sadly, my eyes never leaving his sleeping face. But the fact that we were sharing similar feelings would never be enough. We were both tied to our own world, crushed by responsibilities too heavy and painful. Him to the underworld and me to the police. Logically, I should have known from the start that it was impossible for us to fall in love with each other. But I couldn't counter my feelings; I never could do. I had devoted myself body and soul in this investigation, in this relationship, without noticing I had crossed the line, without noticing I had gone too far. And Bryant had cruelly recalled that fact to me. However, I didn't held it against him. He was only doing his work as my superior, and as a friend.

But despite all that, I could never accept the obvious decision he would take. Because I would never be the same anymore. I would be nothing more than a shadow, devoid of feelings and unable to love anymore. My heart would always stay by Kratos' side.

I left the apartment to chase those painful thoughts away and didn't forget to leave a note on the table in order not to worry Kratos for nothing. I went to take a slow walk in the neighborhood as my mind was void of any thoughts. The chilly air of the morning was making me feel better. I was walking for a long time now, enough to see the city wake up slowly, to see the workers leaving their homes to get to work and to see the stores opening their doors, when my cellphone suddenly rang. I took it with some reluctance, trying to avoid all contact with reality.

"Yes?" I answered without any emotion in my voice, which seemed almost dead. It wasn't surprising. I felt dead inside.

"Sano Nagano? It's Yu-sen Wu talking. I hope I'm not bothering you?" His voice contradicted his words as he didn't sound in the least worried about disturbing me. Strangely, I was happy he had called me. At the sound of his voice, I was almost certain he had accepted to meet me again and it just happened that it would be a good distraction to change my mind and allow me to forget about my torments, even for a short while. "No, not at all. What might be the reason for your call?" I politely inquired. "I would like to meet you again, but this time I'll have the merchandise with me. Are you still interested?" He asked me casually. I was relieve to learn he had accepted to meet me. I would have a chance to meet Jiang Liu. "Of course. Thank you for accepting to meet with me again." I answered, still as courteous as before. I heard the sound of paper being crumpled before the voice of my interlocutor reached me again from the other side of the line. "Are you free to meet me this afternoon?" I was surprised that he asked to see me this fast, but it wasn't bothering me. I would have an occasion to avoid being left alone with my thoughts. "Of course. Where to you want us to meet?"

"At the same place as last time, around two o'clock." He replied simply. "Good. I'll see you later, then." He also said goodbye before hanging up.

Many hours later, I went to the same bar where I had met him some days before. When I entered the place, Wu was already waiting for me, sitting in a remote corner with a smile on his lips. I tried to return his smile the best I could, despite my tired and depressed state. I sat in front of him. Wu didn't lose time in useless talking. He pulled out an attaché case from under the table and put it down between us. He opened the locks and showed me its contents. I stayed surprised when I saw the three guns he was presenting to me. My fingers slid down the barrel of one of them. "Is it really a Beretta 92?" I asked, sincerely confused and unsure. The Beretta 92 was a semi-automatic pistol originally made in Italy. But this one was... strange, at the least. The barrel wasn't exactly built like the original. And there were several other differences. Wu found it was a good idea to enlighten me. "Like you said, it really is a Beretta 92, but it is from a Chinese manufacture. In other words, it has been modified for a better use."

I had to admit I was surprised. It wasn't an imitation, but rather a totally different model. When I looked closer at the other two weapons, a Mauser C-96 and a Glock 17, which get their origins from Germany and Australia, I managed to notice major differences with the originals. The ones able to do a feat like this one were rare. It took a great expertise. I lifted my eyes to look at Wu. "Honestly, I'm rather impressed. Do you have other models to present me?" I asked innocently and Wu seemed glad that his goods were to my liking. "I have several others, but I unfortunately can't show them to you without the consent of my provider." Surely he meant without Liu's permission. I faked an annoyed expression. "What a shame. I really would have like to see the rest of your goods." Wu didn't lose time to answer: "But if you want, I can arrange a meeting tomorrow with my provider! It will be up to him to decide if we can sell you some of our other weapons."

I had to refrain a smile. It was so easy to make him give out. He was too naive. "In that case, it would be perfect." Wu took out what seemed to be a schedule from his pocket and looked at it. "Come back here at the same time tomorrow. I will bring you to my provider." He quickly offered. I nodded with a satisfied smile before standing up. "Very well. I'll see you tomorrow, then." I answered simply, waving him goodbye before leaving the bar slowly.

Finally, I would be able to meet Jiang Liu. I was on the good track.

Like we had planned, I met him again the next day, but this time, he guided me towards a black and luxurious Acura parked in front of the bar. The driver was waiting for us inside. Wu climbed in the back chair of the car and I did the same, closing the door behind me, but I still stayed on my guard when the vehicle started moving. "And where exactly are you taking me? It's not that I don't trust you, but I prefer to always be in touch with the situation." I said on a pleasant tone, letting my gaze wander on the scenery scrolling through the window. All I knew was that we were going to leave Osaka. I felt Wu's gaze burn the back of my head. "We're going to _Mao and Chang_." He answered without any form of explanation. I frowned and turned my eyes on him. "_Mao and Chang_? Isn't this a lawyer's firm, by any chance?" I asked, genuinely confused. I was sure I had heard that name before. My confused look pushed Wu to explain. "My cousin is the owner of many lawyer's firms in China and Japan. A new subsidiary just opened at Nara, not too far from here. He came to supervise their work for some time. He's the one we are going to meet."

Now, it made sense. It was an excellent pretext for doing illegal traffic in Japan without arising suspicions. "I see. And you, did you live in Japan for long?" I inquired amicably, interested in knowing the more information possible on the members of the Jiang clan. Wu seemed to think I was asking only by curiosity as he doubted nothing. "almost a year now. I got an offer for a job far more interesting that what I had in China. Let's say I was rather pleased to hear my cousin was also coming to Japan soon after." As he was talking, I knew he didn't trust me enough to tell me everything. Not once did he mention the name of his cousin, nor the name of the mafia in which he was involved. But it was of no concern to me. He was taking me to Liu right now, and it was the only thing that mattered.

The rest of the trip passed on quickly and I took this chance to learn more about Wu. He was eight years younger than Liu and looked really immature for his age. He was barely twenty-two when he had left China on impulse. He told me he had studied in architecture and that it was for this reason he had come to Japan. He had been offered a big contract that would give him a lot of money. Which pushed him to leave his family behind in China and come here to live in Japan. I couldn't say if it was the truth, or if there was even a tiny part of truth in this, but I knew that one of the reasons for his moving was the guns dealing he was taking part in. He also seemed on good terms with his cousin, which was good news for me.

The driver finally stopped us in front of a high building in a crowded district of Nara. Wu got out of the car and I did the same, stretching at length, happy to walk again. We entered the building and I immediately saw that Wu was coming here often, since many employees greeted him when we made it to the fifth floor where the lawyers' offices were situated. "Wait here for a moment, I will tell Liu of your arrival." Wu told me and I nodded, dropping down in a seat in the waiting hall.

Strangely, even if I was about to meet Jiang Liu, I wasn't nervous. I couldn't explain why, though. I think I was beginning to get used to my second identity and be obliged to lie and hide the truth, which wasn't necessarily a good thing. It happened to many excellent officers who had infiltrated the Japanese underworld to forget about who they really were as time passed, their false identity controlling and completely destroying them.

I was quickly chased from my thoughts when Wu came back towards me by walking nonchalantly with a smile on his lips. "Liu is ready to receive you in his office." He said on a satisfied tone. He motioned me to follow him, which I did without being asked a second time. He guided me to an elegant double door which I guessed was leading to Liu's office. "Here you go." I thanked him and he went away, leaving me alone in front of the office of the young Jiang. I knocked against the wood and heard a voice telling me to enter. I pushed the door open and recognized straight away the man with the short ebony hair and the proud style I had seen on the picture Yggdrasil had shown me. When he saw me, he stood up and went around his desk, presenting his hand to me. "Ah, mister Nagano, right? Nice to meet you." He said in a warm way and with a smile that I returned.

The first impression that man was giving was that of a warm and friendly man, but it could be only a facade. He couldn't hide this aura of authority that was vibrating around him. I didn't let my guard down and shook his hand in a professional way. "The pleasure is mine. Your cousin didn't stop talking about you since our meeting; I have to admit you were beginning to intrigue me." I replied in a lighthearted tone. "I hope he said good things about me." Liu joked before turning around and sitting back in his chair. He motioned to me the sofa in front of his desk. I sat in it without hesitation, never parting from my friendly smile. "Of course. He seems to think very highly of you." I replied and my interlocutor only answered with an enigmatic smile. I frowned lightly, wondering what it could mean. It was only then that I noticed Liu was intently staring at my face. I was about to ask him what was wrong, but he went ahead of me.

"Please pardon my lack of discretion, but something is bothering me; Your name, Nagano, is clearly Japanese, but you seem to have Chinese origins." He thought out loud. My eyes widened in surprise. "How did you guess?" I couldn't refrain myself from asking as I was genuinely surprised. Liu had a soft laugh. "It's your face. Some of your features remind me those of my nationality." He explained and I nodded. "Yes, my mother is from Chinese nationality. My Japanese father met her during a work travel to China and he fell in love with her. They were married soon after and he brought her back to Japan. I took my father's family name." I explained casually. What I was saying wasn't totally false. I was only changing the true facts. My father was Chinese and my mother Japanese. He had met her on a trip to Japan and had decided to move there for good. I was born soon after, taking the family name of my father, Ka-Fai.

Liu had an apologetic smile. "Please forgive my curiosity." I slowly shook my head. "There's no harm." I replied courteously. I couldn't stop myself from thinking this man was extraordinarily observant, since so little people were able to guess my dual nationality with only my physical appearance. Normally, they guessed it with my name, which was clearly not Japanese.

It was another reason to be wary of this man. I had to stay cautious. Liu leaned against the back of his chair and put his hands behind his head, his gaze never leaving me. "According to what Wu was saying, you are interested in rare weapons?" He asked simply, now going to the topic at hand. "Exactly. Your cousin told me you were his provider?" I replied, also putting myself more at ease. Liu took out a cigar from a drawer of his desk and offered it to me, but I politely declined. He lighted it and took a drag before answering. "Yes. We've got our weapons directly imported from China. I can assure you they are of the utmost quality. We're not selling any imitations. I believe Wu has shown you some of our models?"

I was wondering how he was managing to have the weapons being imported incognito, but I knew it wouldn't be wise to ask him directly. Not now, at least. I shouldn't attract his suspicions. "Yes and they really intrigued me. I would really like to see what else you have in store." I confided. I was trying to gain more time, to have the opportunity to get as close as possible to his organization. And to do it, I needed his trust.

Liu answered nothing for a moment, seemingly thinking. "Have you been collecting weapons for a long time, mister Nagano?" He asked with curiosity.

"It's been a while now. I particularly like to gather weapons coming from everywhere around the world, but I don't have many Chinese models yet. And I really hope you'll be able to help me fill this gap." I lied in a laid-back way, a smile on my lips. Liu imitated my smile, leaning over his desk again. "I like you, mister Nagano. I can't wait to deal with you." His words filled me with hope. At least I had a chance to continue my mission. "Unfortunately, I don't have the time to negotiate with you today as I'm rather busy. But I would appreciated it if in the next days, you could come back here. I could make you visit my property and take this time to show you my collection." He offered with enthusiasm. I nodded. "It would be perfect. I will await your call with impatience." I answered. Liu stood up and reached his hand again. I shook it and he guided me to the door. "Good. I'll be sure to recontact you soon enough." I thanked him before leaving his office.

Really, that mission was beginning to sound good. At least, if I could avoid Yggdrasil's wrath this time, then all the better. I had already enough worries to think about.

I had just gotten out of the building when my cellphone rang. I took it and my face decomposed when seeing the name of the person calling; Bryant. Had he already taken his decision?! My hand shook at the sole idea. I was tempted to ignore the call, but I knew it would lead me nowhere. I finally picked up the call reluctantly at the fifth ringing.

"Yes?" I answered, trying to control my voice as much as I could. "Yuan? Where are you?" Bryant's voice was worried and it made me immediately anxious. He rarely lost his cool like this. Something must have happened, something that had nothing to do with me. This thought calmed me down a bit. "I'm currently at Nara. Why? What happened?" A short silence followed my question and when he talked, my heart stopped beating and I almost let go of my cellphone. "Asaki and Hajime are dead." It was... impossible!! How could it have happened?! Asaki and Hajime were two of my work colleagues and excellent police officers at that. I knew them well. Learning about their deaths was too surreal!! Bryant must have felt my questions in my silence. "They were the two officers I had put on Kvar's case." He explained darkly and my face lost all colors.

Kvar!! It must have been him! He must have gotten rid of them when he discovered he was being followed! I began to panic. "How did it happen?!" I asked, anxious to know which means he took to kill two police officers. "Their police car has been found yesterday, late in the night. Apparently, speed was the cause. Their vehicle crashed against a building in the Abeno-ku district. They had no chance of survival; the impact was too violent." He explained in a tired voice. "It can't be an accident." I answered simply as my voice shook under the shocking news. Bryant sighed on the other end. "I know. I think the same way. Kvar is behind this accident. It's too big and too convenient for him to be only a coincidence." What he was saying was true as I didn't know of a better way to hide a murder then by disguising it into an accident. Knowing this man was capable of such horrible things was giving me shivers. He was almost as bad as Yggdrasil!!

Nor Bryant nor me talked for a while. He let me the time to assimilate his words. I was the one who broke the silence. "What will you do?" I asked with a flat tone of voice.

"I have to think about it. It's obvious now that he knows he's being followed by the police. We can't act carelessly." He said with severity. I didn't like what it was implying, not in the least. "Which means you are going to suspend the investigation?" I expressed my fears despite myself. Bryant couldn't let this murderer get away with this! With his next words, my superior confirmed my fears. "For now, I have no other choice." Indignation rose in me at this. "But –"

"Yuan, not now. I'm not in the mood to argue with you. I just lost two of my best officers in the same day." He replied vividly, but I couldn't manage to calm down. "And me two colleagues!! You can't let their murderer go unpunished!!" I rose my voice, not caring about the people who were staring at me strangely. Bryant groaned in irritation. I seemed to have this talent of getting him angry recently. "You know I don't want to do that, but think about it for a second! I can't act carelessly and risk losing even more officers! And while talking about acting carelessly, don't go near Abeno-ku. And most of all, act in the most natural way possible. Don't give Kvar a reason to suspect your real identity, you hear me?" He insisted on that point and I didn't have the want to argue this time. I understood well that it was vital Kvar didn't think I was working for the police. After all, he was really close to Yggdrasil and he was surely telling him about all his doubts. "Okay. I'll be cautious, I promise." I said with all honesty. He hang up and I did the same, my gaze fixed on my cellphone as my thoughts bustled around in my head. Thoughts that were really alarming.

Kvar knew! He knew the police was tracking him down! And this could lead him directly to me if I wasn't cautious... And it wasn't all. The investigation was on a hold for the time being. And I didn't know if we would ever have the occasion to arrest him again. I had failed the promise I had made Kratos; I hadn't been able to help him avenge his family. How could I face him now? How could I be worthy of him now?

How could I tell him that this investigation had fallen into a dead end?

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **Here you go... Danger is hanging over our two lovebirds. Will they get separated, or will they finally be allowed to live the peaceful life they so desire? Is Kvar going to get what he deserves?

In any case, the story is going slowly but surely towards its end. But we promise you yet many stunning new developments. :)

Stay with us until the end!

Until next time!


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N : **Hey there, everyone! First of all, sorry about the long delay. I was suppose to translate this chapter but... with the coming of summer, I admit I got lazy. So instead, Little Rosebud translated it for me. I really feel ashamed, and I'm sorry, but I guess there's nothing I can do anymore. It's done. *sigh*

Anyway, I have a little warning for this chapter. At some point of the chapter, you'll see a warning inserted between two lines separating the story. Read at your own risks xD Even Little Rosebud had difficulty translating that part, so I hope that's something you will be comfortable with! You've been warned!

Anyway, let's get on with the chapter! See you down there!

* * *

**Chapter 19**

I did not start when the fire alarm suddenly rang, but I did let out a sigh of relief imperceptible to Yggdrasil's ears. I couldn't believe my luck! At the very same moment I was begging for a miracle, it was granted to me and the fire alarm had been set off. Now, it was impossible to assassinate the minister in such a rabble or we would attract attention upon ourselves. Especially since the police and fireman were bound to arrive any moment now.

I promptly stood up and pulled my weapon apart with few and quick movements to put it back in my case. "We have to leave, Mithos." I told as he watched the crowd move towards the exit with a fury in no way concealed. "We still had time! You should have shoot him!" He reproached, even though his words never reached me. "The police will be here any minute now. We cannot allow ourselves to assassinate the minister while they can find us and intercept us! Mithos, let's leave _now_!" I retorted harshly and he growled furiously before leaving hurtling off.

We went down the stairs and erupted in the main hall that led to the exit. There, we were immediately blocked by the crowd that tried to make its way outside. There was nothing we could do but wait. My gaze was then inexplicably attracted to the other end of the hall and I suddenly caught sight of bluish hair. My heart stopped beating for a split second and I started hoping that I was merely seeing things, that it was merely a stranger that resembled him too much.

But when said stranger turned towards me, there was no doubt anymore; it really was Yuan. I felt my entire being stiffen as his gaze met mine, especially when I realized with whom he was at this very moment.

He was with the minister. Yuan had come _in person_ to rescue him.

My features were undecipherable as we observed each other – I had to show nothing in case Yggdrasil would look at me – but I was boiling with anger inside. What was he thinking by coming here? Wasn't he at all conscious that I was with Yggdrasil at the moment? If he was seen, he was done for, _done_! Didn't he understand that he could get _killed_? Because not only was he openly betraying our superior, but Yggdrasil would quickly perceive in which side Yuan truly cam from. It wasn't hard to tell in such a situation. I was even ready to bet that he had been the one to activate the fire alarm.

Anger was replaced by sudden immense fear as Yggdrasil stormed in front of me, fuming because he couldn't leave faster. Would he see Yuan? Had he already seen him? No, I couldn't let that happen! I had to distract him in hope that Yuan would have the decency to flee.

My eyes scanned the room quickly and I found a breach among the crowd. "Over there, Mithos. It should be faster." I said while pointing said direction, which was thankfully on the opposite side of where I had seen the policeman. I wanted to press my superior, but the latter stopped, eyes narrowed. "No, wait. I want you to still try and take down the minister." He declared. "I'm certain that we can still find him. With this crowd, he may not have gotten out yet." He started to frantically scan the room in hope of finding the man and I panicked instantly. If he kept searching, he was bound to see Yuan!

"Mithos, no! We don't have enough time anymore!" I exclaimed with seriousness. "The police has already arrived, we can't stay here. We missed our chance!" Yggdrasil glared at me. "I don't see where the problem is. You dealt with your missions even if the police was near before. Why would today be any different?" He pointed out and I sighed in discouragement. "The difference is that _you_ are here with me. And we can't afford to let you be spotted and taken into custody, now, can we?" I answered with indifference, my mask back on. Of course, I would likely stay in order for him to be captured, but I'd rather not kill in order to do so. I had enough blood on my hands, I didn't need to add more to the count even if it was to imprison the most dangerous criminal of Japan.

Yggdrasil walked right before me once more while cursing, heading towards the breach I had mentioned earlier. "Fine!" He hissed in rage with his fists clenched. "Let's leave, then." Relieved, I followed him without a word. Seeing his reaction, I doubted he had seen Yuan, but I couldn't be sure. Besides, as long as we were here, there were still chances of both of them eventually passing each other. I had to attract my superior's attention far from the crowd.

Yuan, that goddamn fool! He would not hear the end of this, that was for sure!

* * *

I stormed inside the apartment that night, almost banging the door wide open at my arrival. In the course of the day, worry and fright that Yggdrasil migh have caught sight of Yuan had piled up and intensified with each second passing, bringing me closer to the moment I could finally see him. And the fact that I had to keep my mask near my superior only made matters worse, leaving these boiling emotions bustle about inside of me and become a mess with nothing to calm them down.

Which ended up in me pinning him against the wall and pouring onto him all my fury without realising that I might hurt him while holding him this way, my hand clutching his wrists. All that counted right now was to make him understand how much he had been _stupid_! No, stupid was an understatement to the state of mind that he had had in the afternoon. And all he managed to muster for his defence was that he hadn't had any other choices but to go himself to stop me. I would have rather him not meddling with this at all! Didn't he understand that I didn't want to lose him?

It was the obvious fear in his voice that snapped me back to reason and I finally released him, already regretting all that I had said and done to him. Of course Yuan would have come to my rescue, of course he would throw himself on the front line without pondering about the consequences first. That was exactly who he was. I realized now that I would have been more surprised if he hadn't.

I apologized for hurting him, even though I doubted this would be enough. I constantly lost my temper against him lately. I knew the cause was the terror of losing him as well as my nerves being on edge, but it wasn't an excuse to act in that manner. If I kept going like this, I would eventually wind up making a move I would regret bitterly.

I started when he asked why we were always arguing and fighting this way. Which was true. I couldn't count anymore all the times that we got worked up. I believe we were both sick of it, tired of all the events befalling on us. We needed a long rest.

I hesitated a while before deciding to sit next to him and pull him against me, into my arms. I tenderly stroked his hair in hopes of showing him that I was sincerely sorry for what I had done. I felt guilty, a lot. However, I also blamed him for his ill-considered actions. Which I admitted to him. I wanted to make him understand that he got me into a distressed state every time he was getting himself in danger. I was so scared to lose him.

I scowled as he announced that he would be ready to die for me anytime. How dared he think such a thing? Couldn't he understand that, if he were to die, my entire world would come crashing down around me? I wouldn't be able to recover as I had done with Anna. I never wanted to hear such words from him again and wished fervently that he would never put them to execution.

I kept him in my arms for a while, not wanting to let him go, wanting to stay this way for hours under the tranquillity that we both so much needed. Unfortunately, every good thing comes to an end and we were bothered by heavy knocking against the door. When I learned that it was Bryant, I scowled. It was the last thing we needed at the moment.

I followed Yuan to the entrance, only to get attacked the minute I arrived by a furious commissioner whom had already taken me by the collar. All emotions were safely back under my mask, except for a slight annoyance that I simply couldn't ignore. I disliked this man who couldn't leave us alone less and less. He may be my love's superior, as well as a friend, but he was starting to get too far.

I didn't care at all as to what he could say about me, however. It didn't bother me at all, it didn't even reach me. I knew what crimes I had committed and that I would have to go to prison anyway. That was also what I tried to make Yuan understand as I saw that he was starting to panic. He mustn't worry too much about a future that was already decided.

But when Bryant insulted Yuan, that I couldn't bear and I clearly made him know. How dare he talk that way to a subordinate who was devoting himself body and soul to such a dangerous mission? How dared he speak that way to _my_ Yuan, period! I was about to speak my mind to this excuse of a commissioner, but Yuan asked us to stop it and I complied. He wasn't feeling well and if we kept things as they were, we would only worsen them. We stayed silent for a long while before Bryant decided to finally leave. And yet, he managed to make me furious once again as he announced that he maybe would release Yuan from this investigation. _Was he mad?_ Yuan was under Yggdrasil's grasp, he could _not_ quit that easily!

I didn't have time to say anything as I saw Yuan on the verge of collapsing. I caught him on time before leading him to his bed, only to pace in his room right after. I couldn't believe this, I simply couldn't believe this! What kind of superior... no, what kind of _friend_ was he?

I shared my distress to Yuan when he asked what was wrong and I was surprised to hear that he had ways to leave the organization unharmed. When he explained, I immediately felt an icy coldness take a hold of my body. I would... lose Yuan completely? No! I refused, I refused! There must be another solution, something so that this foolish Bryant would drop that dreadful idea and wouldn't remove him from the investigation!

However, I would have to get used to the idea. There were higher probabilities that he would remove Yuan. I went to sit beside the latter and took him into my arms, as if I couldn't let him go anymore in fear that he would leave and never come back. That was why it wasn't hard for me to promise I would never leave far away, that I would always be beside him, whatever may happen. I loved him too much to lose him and as much as he lived for me, as much I lived for him.

* * *

Two days passed without a single news from Bryant and I couldn't tell if it was better this way. After all, we were both anxious – too anxious – to know the verdict, but the more he would wait before telling us, the more we would have time together. It was indeed difficult to tell.

I took advantage of these two days while Yuan was occupied with his mission to search for evidence against Kvar on my side. There surely would be a thread, a document, something that could be enough to start an open investigation against him. Anything! But no matter how much I was searching, going to see Tabatha in secret, rummaging in the rooms likely to contain hidden documents, I couldn't find anything at all. Yggdrasil had hidden his proof very well. Too well.

The evening of the second day, I arrived before Yuan and decided to prepare dinner in advance so that it would be ready when he would come back. It was near six o'clock when he arrived, entering the kitchen. Both of our plates in hands, I reached to him and placed a quick kiss on his forehead. "Good evening. How was your day?" I enquired with a light smile. I was trying to make up for all the trouble I had caused, but I especially tried to lighten up our mood in order to forget the events of the previous days.

Yuan took time before he answered, seeming lost in thoughts. He appeared to finally realise what I had asked him and looked up to gaze at me. "Oh, it was nice. How about you?" He gave me a weak smile barely convincing and I frowned. "Not so bad. Is something the matter?" I worried. Once again, he took seconds before answering. "No, it's nothing. It looks delicious!" He softly exclaimed, looking at ours plates, changing the subject.

There was definitely something that bothered him. What, I had no idea. Yet, I wouldn't ask. I didn't want to pester him either. Only if I saw that he wasn't doing well would I ask.

"I'm glad. Sit down, then." I laid our plates on the table before sitting myself, soon followed by Yuan and we started eating in utter silence. I didn't dare to start a conversation, wondering if he would confide in me, but it seemed he wasn't about to do it. He was even more deep in thoughts, eating absent-mindedly. I sighed softly as I worried a bit more. What was wrong?

Once he finished, Yuan stood up without a single word to bring his plate to the sink. I followed him with my eyes and suddenly saw the dish slip from his hands and break in thousands of pieces on the ground. I stood up to go help him while he kneeled to calmly pick it all up, as if he wasn't concerned at all. It was at this moment that I heard him hiss in pain. He had cut himself.

I immediately met up with him, anxious, and picked him up to examine his hand. He hadn't missed his shot; there was a neat slash from his wrist to his middle finger that bled abundantly. Not wasting another moment, I brought him to the sink before pouring cold water at high-speed while placing his hand under it. "Stay there for a while, I'm going to go get things to patch it." I quickly made for the bathroom, searched for the first aid kit before returning to the kitchen. I stopped the water and examined the wound with precaution. Fortunately, it wasn't deep. He wouldn't have to get it examined. More fright than hurt. "I don't think I need to tell you that you should have been more careful?" I questioned in a scolding tone while I rolled the white bandage around the palm of his hand. Yuan did not answer and I frowned as I observed him once more. His gaze was riveted on the floor, completely elsewhere. It was as if he hadn't realized at all what had just happened. "Yuan!" I called out to him a bit sharply in order to get him out of his daydreaming. He started and raised his eyes towards me, taken by surprise. I sighed. "Yuan, what's going on?" I asked more softly this time.

He slowly shook his head. "It's nothing, I'm fine, for real." I rolled my eyes. "You break a plate and cut yourself, but are miles away from here. And you expect me to believe that you are fine?" I declared with an amused smile, although I felt a mix of irritation and worry. What was it that made Yuan want to keep silent this much?

"It's none of your business!" He replied dryly and once I finished bandaging his hand, he took it abruptly before turning around to pick up the fragments of the broken dish on the ground. I felt a point pierce my heart at these words, but said nothing. Instead, I kneeled beside him in order to help him. "You're right, maybe it doesn't concern me." I admitted nonchalantly. "However, you cannot keep me from worrying about you, don't you think? You come back to the apartment completely elsewhere and you're lost in thoughts enough to the point of cutting yourself without realising it. Naturally, I would think that something is wrong and I would worry." I stood up with some of the biggest fragments in hands and went to throw them into the trash can before getting the broom to pick up the rest. When I came back, Yuan was standing and he was looking at me with guilt and distress printed on his features.

"Alright, maybe it does concern you a bit..." He admitted and this surprised me. I put the broom against the wall before turning towards Yuan, cupping his face into my hands to reassure him. It seemed to work. "What happened?" I encouraged him with gentleness and patience. I didn't want to press him either when he was so disturbed.

"Two of my colleagues were found dead last night." He murmured with sadness.

"I'm sorry..." I sympathized. Seeing him like this, I knew that he must have known these two men. I was unaware of what linked them to me, but still pressed nothing. I would know in due time.

"They were the two officers that followed Kvar." He continued and I finally understood. "You were right, Kvar knew that he was being followed. I should have listened to you, I should have talked to Bryant! Maybe they would have been saved, maybe th – "

"Yuan!" I exclaimed with gentleness, placing a finger on his lips. "Yuan, it's not your fault. You couldn't know, they couldn't know. And we had to try, it was better than nothing." I told in a soothing tone in order to reassure him. It only had the opposite effect.

"I know that!" He shout out in irritation and anger. "I know that we had to try! But if I had stopped them, they wouldn't be dead! If I had stopped them, the investigation wouldn't be suspended!" His eyes widened in horror as he realized the exact words he'd told. Then, he took two steps backwards, moving away from me, his head riveted on the ground. "I'm sorry, Kratos. I failed to keep my promise. I failed completely in stopping your family's criminal. I'm deeply sorry, I don't even know how I can still face you."

"Yuan." I stopped him, approaching slowly. I wrapped an arm around his waist and pressed him against me while my other hand caressed his hair. "It wasn't your fault." I repeated in his ear. "And even if it was, even if your stubbornly thinking it, I still wouldn't be mad at you, you hear?" My hand in his hair was placed under his chin and I gently rose it so that our eyes could meet. "Listen to me well, now. Yggdrasil and Kvar are both specialists. It isn't easy to capture them and it will never be. I'm not even surprised that we've hit a dead-end." He was about to retort, but I shook my head to prevent that. "It's alright, Yuan. We'll find a solution, that's for sure. I promised myself that I would imprison them, so they will be." I finished with unfailing determination. That was enough to make him smile for real this time. He pressed himself against my chest and I resumed caressing his hair. "Besides, nothing stops me from continuing the investigation on my own. I have, after all, no obligations towards your superior." I declared with a smirk and Yuan rolled his eyes. "Indeed, it's not such a bad idea."

We stayed still for a while, appreciating the other's warmth. "I love you, Yuan, that's all that matters. This investigation is important for me, but never as much as you are." I saw that he was deeply touched by these words as he looked back at me. He smiled before capturing my lips in a kiss. "Thank you." He whispered with gratitude.

* * *

Even though I'd told that I would resume this on my own for now, I had omitted that it would be a difficult task. The police couldn't help me anymore, couldn't be there as a second option to find proofs against Kvar. As for the organization's proofs? They seemed definitely impossible to find. I had no idea how I would manage. However, I had to find a solution. I couldn't let Yuan think that he had failed when it was completely false.

I searched again and again in the entire building, but it wasn't easy. I could only do it in my meagre free time and I had to be careful not to attract attention over me or everything would be done for. Until now, I was doing just fine, but I wasn't advancing forward much. I surprised myself by thinking that I wanted luck to play on my side, for a change. If it didn't, our investigation would take years.

It was with the firm intention of looking for proofs that afternoon that I left my office, only to land face to face with none other than Zelos. Immediately, my mood dropped to irritation while his haughty face wore a victorious smile. He had something in mind, that was certain.

"What do you want, Zelos?" I cut right to the chase, wanting to end this as soon as possible. I was already not in the mood anymore.

He snickered at the sound of my voice, not impressed. "Is it really a way to speak to someone who came to help you?" He asked with a voice falsely wounded. It was at this point that I noticed the pack of sheets in his hands, which made me raise an eyebrow. "Help me?" I repeated without believing him. "Tell me if I'm wrong, but I was in the impression that we both hated each other, Zelos. What would suddenly get you to help me? And most of all, in what?" The teenager pouted as he crossed his arms. "_Hate_ is such a big word. I would rather say that we merely have some... slight _misunderstanding_." He declared, his smile coming back in full force. "I'm ready to settle them. Is that such a bad thing?" I stared at him in suspicion. I didn't like where this was going. However, I kept quiet, waiting for him to go on. It was at this moment that the sheets were put in the conversation as he shook them in front of me. "I have something here that might certainly interest you." He announced with a smirk. "These last few days, I thought I'd notice you were searching for something in particular, so I searched as well. Fortunately for me, it seemed I had more chance than you did." He sniggered, making me growl in irritation. I knew he would want something in exchange. But what he had found intrigued me. Was he really holding proofs against Kvar? Had Zelos really guessed what I was trying so hard to obtain?

"Get to the point, Zelos. What did you find?" I grumbled, making him laugh.

"What impatience! So, let's see..." He shook the sheets once more in order to have a better view of what was written. "_Report of February 14__th__ 20XX. Thread : fire in third street of Namba district._" At these words, I felt my blood freeze in my veins. Had I really heard well? Was Zelos really holding the report Kvar had written on the murder of my family? Impossible!

On impulse, I tried to snatch the sheets away from him, but he avoided me just in time. "Oooh no! Unfortunately, it's not for free." I should have seen it coming. We were talking about Zelos here. I was on the verge of asking him what he wanted, but doubts slowly made their way in my mind. "Tell me, Zelos, if you're so faithful to Yggdrasil, why would you hold a report like this? I mean, you surely know that finding that report – as it was surely hidden somewhere – is a betrayal towards Yggdrasil." I asked with mistrust, analyzing the situation. Was it a way for Zelos to verify my fidelity to Yggdrasil? Was he holding a false report in his hands and, once he would have given it to me, he would go to our superior to tell everything?

The teenager scowled. "Let's just say that _some people _have too much power in this organization." So, Zelos didn't like Kvar. In fact, it wasn't really a surprise. The teen was known for his contempt and jealousy towards all form of closeness that wasn't his own to Yggdrasil. "And that's all?" I asked while lifting an eyebrow again. "It seems to me like an insufficient reason to make such a treason against Yggdrasil."

Zelos had an annoyed expression and he let out an outraged 'Hmph!'. "Firstly, I don't think of this as treason! I'm only getting Yggdrasil rid of the nuisances around him." I folded my arms at this revelation, highly amused. "Am I not one of those nuisances?"

He sighed loudly, massaging the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, you're one all right. But you're still more bearable than Kvar and since you're the perfect way to get rid of him, I'm taking advantage of it."

Ah, everything was so clear now. Using me to imprison Yggdrasil's spy, there were more chances that the accusations would befall on me instead of Zelos. Even more so because of the report he was holding. It was only logical.

"And as I said earlier, I'm not giving it for free. If you want it, you'll have to agree to some terms." I already knew what Zelos wanted. He wanted to kill two birds with one stone by getting rid of Kvar and demote me at the same time. "I want your place as the Waka-gashira." He declared.

Bingo.

I rolled my eyes, discouraged that he was sticking so intently on that rank. Wasn't there any brain in that horror of a head? I was beginning to think there wasn't. I couldn't remember how many times I had explained him that exchanging our roles was impossible and he still didn't understand. Believe me, I would have proceeded with it years ago if I could have. "Zelos, I think there is something you still haven't understood. It's impossible! I'm not the one deciding this. It's Yggdrasil. And unfortunately for the both of us, no matter what I would do to be demoted, he'll never allow it." This was how things were. He wanted to keep me close to him.

The teen scowled again. "There has to be a way! I can't believe there isn't!" He exclaimed childishly in irritation and I slowly shook my head. "No. I'm sorry, but there isn't. And furthermore..." I leaned against the door frame, looking at him nonchalantly. "Even if I had some power over that decision, even if I could give you the rank, don't you think Yggdrasil would think something was wrong? He would wonder why we decided to exchange places. He would become suspicious and investigate on us. Naturally, he would find the reason and you would be in deep trouble. Am I not right?" I pointed out the evidence and the young man clenched his fists, having no other option than accepting the reality. He would never have the position he so desired, unless I died or was being thrown in prison. Which would never happen as long as Yggdrasil wasn't imprisoned himself.

However, Zelos had more than one trick up his sleeve and his scowling face made way to his eternally mocking smile. "Fine then. If I can't have that position, we'll just have to _pretend_. Each time we will cross paths, except when Yggdrasil or those closer to him are near, you'll have to bow before me and show me due respect, as if I was on an upper-grade than you. For the others who would see us, we will find an excuse.»

I startled at his terms. He demanded that I respect him? That I _bowed_ before him? To sum it up, he wanted to humiliate me. I was highly tempted to refuse. After all, he was only an ungrateful and egoistical brat that thought about nothing but women and his own person. His work was not that bad, but I constantly had to repeat him to give it back in time. He wasn't worthy of the title of shatei-gashira. Besides, I couldn't begin to comprehend why Yggdrasil kept him close to him in these conditions.

But a glance to the report made my resolve waver. This investigation was important to me and I was almost grasping in my hands the evidence that would incriminate Kvar the minute it would be in the police's hold. We would be able to get rid of a big nuisance and it would be a powerful blow against Yggdrasil.

"If I agree to this, I want to make sure that Yggdrasil will not hear a word of this deal." I asked to make sure of his intentions. Zelos grumbled. "Pff! Of course not! It's not like I _want_ to get punished by Yggdrasil!" He exclaimed as if it was obvious and I sighed. "Alright." And taking a deep breath to prepare myself to the humiliation I would face, I got to my knees and bowed respectively. "Will this be satisfying enough, Mister Wilder?" I lifted my head up to see his reaction and saw he was highly pleased of his victory, a sardonic smile on his lips. "This is perfect, Kratos. Here's your reward." He cooed with malice while handing the report out to me. I immediately took it, making sure it was really the evidence I needed. I quickly analyzed the document, reading some lines here and there and, when I was able to certify its authenticity, I felt happiness and relief fill my entire being. The investigation was finally moving forward. Kvar would be imprisoned and my family would finally be avenged!

I bowed my head again before rising up. "I thank you tremendously. Now, if you would excuse me, I have to get back to work." And without another word, without waiting for any reaction on his part, I turned around and went back to my office.

* * *

I went back to the apartment as fast as I could at the end of the day, hoping with all my heart that Yuan would already be there. I wanted to tell him as soon as possible that our efforts hadn't been in vain and that we could finally imprison one of the responsible! At this point, getting rid of Yggdrasil should happen in a short time!

Okay, I was overdoing it, but I couldn't stop myself from being happy. And most of all, relieved. My family could at last be avenged and the murderer would pay for the crimes he had committed.

I smiled when I saw light in the apartment. Perfect, he was already home. Once inside, I removed my shoes before going to the lounge, where I found him watching distractedly the news channel. Standing behind him, I placed the report in front of his eyes so he could read it. Intrigued, he said a confused "Good evening." before reading the few lines presented on the first page. When he finally understood what I was holding, he quickly took the sheets to read more and make sure of what it was. When he was satisfied, he lifted wide eyes on me. "Kvar should better take full advantage of his liberty, because he won't have it for long now." I said with a side smile and Yuan had a relieved expression. "I'm going to give this to Bryant tomorrow morning. It should be enough to incriminate him. He won't get away with a murder, even disguised as it was." His eyes gleamed with a determined light. "He'll pay for all that he did!" My smile softened and I dropped a hand on Yuan's head, ruffling his hair. An outraged exclamation left his lips and he tried to chase my hands away. "Hey, what the hell are you doing?" He yelled, highly annoyed. I laughed on a low tone. "I'm happy. And I thought that teasing you a little couldn't do much harm."

"Well, I don't like it, so stop it at once!" He exclaimed while still trying to get my hands off him. It only encouraged me more and I smiled again. "And if I refuse?"

As a response, he turned around and after a short struggle, finally managed to pull on my arm, making me lose my balance. I fell on top of him and our lips met in a fast kiss. "Then I just have to make you stop." He told with a satisfied smile and I sighed in amusement. "Okay, you win."

I got off of him and sat next to Yuan as he got his attention back on Kvar's report. "But tell me, where exactly did you find that? Maybe there was evidence against Yggdrasil as well!" He suddenly exclaimed as his job as a police officer took over. My expression became upset. "Let's just say I didn't find it myself." I admitted without knowing how I could tell him that the one who'd found it was _Zelos_. "Oh? You asked Presea to help you?" He asked in all logic. It would have made sense if not for the fact I didn't want to ask too much out of Presea. She already had enough work to do for the organization, I didn't want to give her too much. I shook my head. "I didn't ask her anything." Yuan frowned at my words, trying to understand who could have helped me.

"Zelos is the one who helped me this time." I finally conceded and saw Yuan's expression go from surprise, to incomprehension and finally anger and irritation. "Zelos? What were you thinking, accepting his help? It could be a trap!" He scolded me and I sighed. "I took the risk. Anyway, if he ever decides to tell someone about it, I'll just have to tell Yggdrasil he also played a role in it and he would be in big trouble. I don't think he'll say anything." I didn't mention our deal as I was already too ashamed of being obliged to show that much _respect_ towards Zelos. Yuan didn't need to know about this.

The latter didn't seem satisfied by my answer, but he didn't say anything more. We had the evidence needed against Kvar and it was all that mattered.

* * *

Yuan gave the report the next day and the same evening, we watched the news to see if anything was mentioned on Kvar. We were quickly disappointed when nothing was announced, but we understood why. Either the police was keeping the case under strict discretion, or Yggdrasil had ordered the television channels to not show anything. I was thought the second option made more sense, especially because of the way he ordered me to meet him in his office several days later.

"It's your fault! You did all of this, it's all _your_ fault!" Yggdrasil yelled loudly at me before I even had the time to take a step inside the office. Seeing him in such a fury for having lost one of his best officers filled me with undying happiness. We were on the right track to finally put him behind bars!

"Calm down, Mithos!" I exclaimed. "What are you talking about?" I pretended not to understand his words, which earned me a terrifying and murderous glance. "I won't calm down! Kvar has been imprisoned and you know it because it's all _your_ fault! He would never have been caught otherwise, never!" I didn't pretend to be surprised; he would know any way that I was faking it. I opted for my usual expressionless face. "And what evidence do you have to accuse me in that manner?" I knew that by accepting the report from Zelos, there was a high possibility that the idiot would slip a word or two to our superior if it meant a chance to really have my rank. And if it was the case, I would be sure to tell the truth to Yggdrasil and snap his neck before getting killed by Yggdrasil. "None yet, but I _know_ it's you!" He hissed and it surprised me. Zelos hadn't said anything? Shocking. I didn't know him as the sort of person that kept its part of the bargain. "You've been trying to betray me, to oppose me, to throw me in jail for a while now! I know you're leaking information to the police!" I had to control myself to keep the colors from draining out of my face. He knew? In fact, I wasn't too surprised. Mithos was someone highly intelligent, after all. He must have made the link: I had gone to the partner-swapping club with Yuan to meet Vharley who was selling datura. And several weeks after, Kvar was being followed by the police. The calculation wasn't too hard to make.

What I didn't understand though, was why he hadn't done anything until now? Why didn't he get rid of Yuan? And of me?

"I don't know how you managed to do it behind my back, to give them exactly what they need and to prevent them from arresting you!" So he wasn't aware of Yuan's real identity. What a relief! I wouldn't let him hurt him anyway.

I didn't even try to deny his accusations as it would only deepen his rage. "Then why didn't you get rid of me if you're so certain about my betrayal?" I asked him in a disrespectful manner, feeling suddenly haughty. My comment earned me a slap in the face, but I wasn't impressed. In response, I smiled mockingly at him, which fuelled up his anger. I knew that I was only worsening things, that I was crossing over the line, but I couldn't take it anymore. Everything in him was disgusting me. All I wanted was for him to get out of my life for good!

"How dare you talk to me that way?" His voice was so loud that the walls shook under it. "I'm the one who's doing everything for you! Who's trying his hardest to please you, to give you an easy life!" Was he calling the murder of my family a way to 'please' me? If it was, we really didn't have the same opinion on that matter. "I'm the one ready to give you second chances all over again! I'm even ready to think I'm mistaken on your case right now, that I'm only imagining things! And that is how you thank me?" He yelled as his fists clenched tightly. Oh yeah. I had forgotten how much he was _fond_ of me.

"What's happening to you, Kratos? I don't recognize you anymore! You changed because of this witch and you still continue to change. I'm losing my best officer, the one who I _can't _allow myself to lose!"

_You better begin to think about that possibility though, because you'll lose him anyway._ I longed to tell him that, but I stopped myself. If I could avoid death right now, I would do so.

Suddenly, Yggdrasil seemed to calm down completely, now looking at me with discouragement. He left out a long sigh. "Or maybe I'm the problem?" These words shocked me. He couldn't be more right. "After all, I might have given you too much liberty. You got too much of a liking to it and now, you're defying your master. Yes, now that I think about it, it makes sense." What the hell was he talking about? "I guess I'll have to re-educate you, to show you where your fidelity should lay at anytime." I suddenly felt a presence behind me and I ducked down just in time to avoid the strike of a hand against my neck. I brusquely turned around, only to see the person I least expected to see: Kvar. He was there, standing proudly with his back straight as he looked at me with his small eyes and a mocking smile. Completely stunned, I tried to comprehend what was going on.

"Surprised, Kratos?" Yggdrasil's poisonous voice reached me. "I wasn't about to leave my best spy to rot in jail when I need him that badly, right?" He was now displaying a mocking smile. "It cost me a huge amount, but it was worth it." Impossible! How could he get Kvar out of jail when he couldn't do it for the minister of economy? It didn't make any sense!

But I suddenly understood at the same time Kvar charged up at me to attack me again. Kvar wasn't known to the world. He was only an unimportant spy, with no known identity. However, Aito was a minister. He was known in the entirety of Japan. Getting him out of jail would have resulted in a scandal, while it wasn't the case for Kvar. It wasn't surprising now that nothing had slipped into the news. Yggdrasil had prevented it to be able to get him out of there unnoticed.

No, no, _no_! It couldn't be, he didn't have the right! He didn't have the right to get him out so easily when Yuan and I had struggled so much to get to this point! I couldn't accept it, it wasn't fair!

And yet, I had to accept the evidence. We would never be able to imprison Kvar as long as Yggdrasil was enjoying his liberty. It was killing me to admit it, but that was the brutal reality.

I avoided the spy as he ran to me and blocked his second strike with my arm. He might be powerful and skilled, but I was the best into the ranks of Yggdrasil's men. He couldn't best _me._ Even if I was having some difficulty, I was able to analyze his movements and block them in time. I didn't know what Yggdrasil was expecting of Kvar, but he would be disappointed.

Despite all his efforts being bound to failure, Kvar did not abandon and continued to strike me, aiming for my face, stomach and neck. I countered him each time and had to admit that he was good at protecting himself.

But I soon had enough. I tried to trip him up, but he avoided it just in time. What he didn't see, however, was my fist going for his stomach. The strength of the strike pushed him back against the wall behind him. I walked to him and looked at his face with a haughty expression. "Did you really hope he could beat me, Mithos?" I said with a touch of disdain in my voice. I heard my superior snicker really close to me and suddenly felt a needle break through the skin of my neck. "Unfortunately, that wasn't my intent. He was only there to distract you." I quickly backed away from him, but it was already too late. Yggdrasil was holding an empty syringe in his hands. "What did you –" I didn't have the time to finish my thought that my vision blurred dangerously. Waving, I vaguely felt my face meet the hard floor before passing out.

* * *

(WARNING: read at your own risks...)

* * *

I felt myself slowly regain consciousness at the sensation of a hand softly stroking my hair. That hand was soft and affectionate and I couldn't refrain a small smile, happening to know whose hand it was. After all, rare were the people being so gentle with me.

I didn't remember the moment I had returned to the apartment nor when I had fallen asleep. I must have been really tired for having forgotten it. And even now, I felt too tired and sleepy to open my eyes, especially with Yuan's hand giving me such a pleasant sensation. I didn't mind staying like this and I was almost ready to go back to sleep with my mind at ease. I didn't know why, but I got the impression of having lived a terrible nightmare recently, a nightmare that Yuan was chasing away.

However, the need to see him, to smile at him became more and more present and I forced myself to lift my eyelids despite the sleepiness that refused to leave me.

My heart stopped beating when I realized it wasn't Yuan stroking my hair tenderly, but rather Yggdrasil, who was looking at me with a mix between softness and madness. The earlier events suddenly rushed to my memory and I grimaced; Yggdrasil was suspecting me of having played a part in Kvar's imprisonment and had drugged me. I couldn't believe it. He had drugged me and brought me to my room? It could only mean one thing that I'd rather not think about.

When I had moved my head to see exactly where I was, I had heard the sound of clinging metal above my head and it didn't take long for my mind to understand that I was chained to my bed. Impossible for me to get away. I didn't have anything on me to help me break myself free. And I was sure Yggdrasil had searched me to be sure there wasn't.

"Ah, you're finally awake!" My superior exclaimed with a sugary voice, dropping a kiss on my temple. I stiffened straight away. "I was beginning to get impatient, you know? But it doesn't matter." He laughed lowly and his hand in my hair went down to my cheek so his thumb could caress my lower lip. I threw him a murderous glance, rather displeased by the position I found myself in. He had never gone that far before. "Mithos, what's the meaning of this? Release me at once!" I ordered with a strong voice to hide the fear that was growing in me. It only made him laugh more, mocking my efforts that were going to waste. "It's out of the question! I still need to punish you for having disobeyed me earlier." He stared at me as his face got closer to mine. "And since when do you bark against your master? Who taught you that? Is it that detestable dog with which you are getting along too frequently with recently?" My gaze darkened under the allusion. I was beginning to have enough hearing him treat Yuan like some vulgar animal. "No, you're mistaken. You're the one who taught me. I have enough of everything you make me go through, so I'm fighting it!" I defied him and Yggdrasil slapped me violently in response before stroking my cheek tenderly again. "Wrong answer! It's clear now that I'll need to start everything from scratch and teach you to be faithful to your master. Coming from you, it's really disappointing." He sighed with a tired and discouraged expression before it was replaced by a mocking smile. «Oh well, I can surely be a little lenient with you. Like I said, I made a mistake when I didn't watch over your education, so I have to correct it. I will teach you who you really belong to." His smile twisted under the mockery. "Don't worry though, I won't hurt you too much. Even if it is a punishment, you are far too precious for me to damage you." I felt colors drain completely away from my face, from my entire being. He wasn't going to... Tell me he wasn't going to...

I understood my fears were the absolute truth when he captured my lips in a long kiss, his hands holding securely my cheeks to prevent me from pushing him away. I could only let out a cry of protest, surprise and disgust.

He finally released me, letting his lips near my own so I could feel his hot breath on my skin. "You can't get away, Kratos. Moreover, you'll never get away again. You are mine, only mine." He whispered lowly while looking in my eyes with a passion that I had rarely seen in him. I was furious by his actions. I had enough. I didn't want to lie back anymore! "What's gotten into you, for God's sake?" I exclaimed with furor and Yggdrasil's joyful expression disappeared only to be replaced by a bitter one. "What's gotten into me? What's gotten into _me_?" His hands harshly gripped my hair as he stared at me with anger and contempt. "It happens, my dear Kratos, that I'm showing you who you belong to!" He hissed dangerously. "I've been trying to make you understand for years now, but it seems like you never were able to." I suddenly spit in his face, taking advantage of our proximity. "I. Belong. To. No one." I uttered each word slowly so he could understand. He backed away and wiped his face with his sleeve as his expression was undecipherable. I knew, however, that it had surely angered him.

I realized I was right when his face twisted with rage and his hands clenched around my throat in a tight grip, rapidly cutting off my breathing. "Very well! If I can't have you, then no one, I say _no one_ is gonna have you!" He yelled in pure madness, squeezing even harder. And despite my heart beating in panic, I found the strength to smile mockingly. "G-get on with it! K-kill... me." Right now, I was too furious to care about anything. If I died, I would at least never see him again.

However, after these words, Yggdrasil pulled back his hands and I could breathe again with difficulty. His blank expression came back as he stared at me.

"Why are you so cruel?"

I started at these words and stared at him as if he was completely mad. Me, cruel? Wasn't he getting things reversed? He was the one killing innocent people, the one making Yuan and I suffer several times! "Why can't you see I'm doing all of this because I love you?" Strange way to show it. "I love you, I love you so much! I loved you from the very beginning. But you refuse to see the truth and you refuse to accept it. Please, be mine so I can stop punishing you, be mine so I can give you more liberty and give you everything you want! I will be the perfect lover, I would do anything for you."

I was dismayed and it took me a while to be able to answer anything. Yggdrasil had literally made his love confession. I didn't know he was capable of such emotions! There was place for love and compassion in him, in that cruel and merciless man? Really? "I'm sorry, Mithos. But I can't return you feelings. I never saw you as anything other than a little brother." And it was the truth... back in the days. Now I didn't see him as anything other than a psychopathic superior, but that was another story.

His eyes, that had been so soft while he had talked, became clouded with anger and he grabbed my hair harshly, shaking my head as he suddenly yelled. "Why? Why don't you want to be mine? Don't you understand that you can't belong to anyone else anyway? I'll never let you get away! I can give you everything you want in the world, _everything_! What am I lacking for you to be satisfied?" He didn't cease to torment me by shaking my head, making me wince. He wasn't being gentle. It was exactly one of the behaviours that pushed me to get away from him. "You're... simply not the kind of person I need." I answered sincerely. It was time he understood I wasn't his toy; that no matter what he did, I would never be his property.

My words earned me another violent slap in the face, which still left me stony-faced. I stared at Yggdrasil, who was sinking more and more into an undying anger. I was expecting it anyway.

Suddenly, my superior tore my shirt apart and the buttons flew apart. "Alright! Very well! So I'll just have to _force _you to accept me as the kind of person you need!" He spat out hatefully before capturing my lips again, one of his hands gripping my chin tightly. What did I do to deserve such treatment? "I refuse! Mithos, let me go!" I ordered once he broke the kiss, even as I knew he would never do it. He burst out laughing. "You seriously think you're in any position to give me orders?" He exclaimed with mockery. His fingers went to the bed table and he took a small pill between his forefinger and thumb, staring at it with interest. "With this, I'll be sure you won't be able to resist everything I'll do to you." He purred in a sugary tone and placed the pill between his teeth before forcing it roughly into my mouth. His tongue pushed the pill to the back of my throat before I could try to stop him and I was obliged to swallow it. I didn't dare ask what he had given to me when he finally released his hold on me. Deep in my mind, I knew what it was.

"Now we just have to wait for the pill to become effective!» Yggdrasil said with his good mood back once more. "I'll make you climax with so much pleasure that you'll beg me for more again and again!" He whispered in my ear with a disturbing snicker.

My breathing quickly became jerky and my chest heaved wildly as the beating of my heart became crazy. I could even hear it into my ears. Sweat formed on my forehead and the rest of my skin. The air around me seemed to grow unbearably hot and my vision blurred at some times. I knew what Yggdrasil had given me had begun its effects. The latter was bearing a satisfied expression as he was back into a happy mood. "Ah ah ah! It's reacting so fast that, even on you who seems capable of controlling and destroying everything that could harm you!" He exclaimed with a mad laugh. "So, how do you feel?" Uncomfortable. Entirely uncomfortable! I was too hot and I hurt all over. It wasn't as if something was giving me pain. No, it was precisely because there wasn't anything, no pressure whatsoever, that it was painful! My skin was longing to feel something; a touch, a caress, anything!

Of course, I would never admit it. And it only widened Yggdrasil's smile. "Come on, answer me when I talk to you." He whispered with mockery and I threw daggers at him. If he hoped for a reaction on my part because of a drug, he could always d –

I didn't have time to finish my thought that I threw my head backwards and violently bit down on my lip in order to stop any sound that could have passed them. Panting, I quickly thought about what had just happened. Yggdrasil had merely brushed my torso, his fingers had hardly touched my skin to get rid of my shirt completely, and it was the sort of reaction he had gotten from me? My body was so weak!

My superior snickered as he threw my ruined shirt behind him so that it could fall on the floor, completely forgotten. "Oh, Kratos! I didn't know you were so sensitive!" He whispered with a soft voice and I glared at him. "And who'se fault is it, huh?" I spat out hatefully. "Ah ah aah!" He chanted. "I'm sure that even without the drug, you would apreciate it as much. Besides, that's got no importance. Look, I barely touched your skin and you're already asking for more!" Indeed, my nipples were already hard and swelled up, their once pink color now red as if they were on fire. Yggdrasil laughed lowly. "I can offer you all the pleasure in the world; I can satisfy you as much as you need, until you can't take it anymore! You are made for me, your body reacts to me so perfectly!" He was lying, only lying! I reacted that way only because of the drug. He would never have control over me otherwise!

He nibbled my earlobe and a long shiver ran through my spine. I instinctively turned my head, as if I wanted to leave him more space, and a weak moan passed my lips. I couldn't believe how much my body was weak, how much I didn't have any control over that fucking drug! It was all its fault; I would never feel any pleasure from what he was doing normally!

But despite my thoughts, despite the fact I was trying to persuade myself it was all the drug's fault, I couldn't stop hating myself. I hated myself for not being stronger than a stupid drug; I hated myself for reacting to his advances. I hated myself for not being able to keep my mask in place and stop the moans that didn't want to let down. I had never been so vulnerable and I hated it!

Yggdrasil attacked me again by kissing me, his hands firmly pressing against my nude chest. They slid against my skin, caressing it on the way, making me shiver with want. I wanted to grimace with disgust at this fact, but my tongue was occupied despite my will.

He finally released me and a trail of saliva followed him as he threw me a mischevious smile. His hair fell down on each side of my face like a veil, covering and hiding our faces. "I love you, Kratos." He whispered sensually at my ear and I turned my gaze away with anger, like I wanted to ignore his words. This action didn't anger him, unlike some moments ago. He knew he had complete control over me; he didn't need to get angry.

He chuckled before straightening up a little to stare at me. "Hmm.. I always thought you must have a sexy body, but to think..." He hummed joyfully before grazing his teeth against my collarbone to nibble and suck with strength, leaving behind a blue mark almost turning red. I couldn't stop myself from closing my eyes in delight and a moan escaped my throat. The hate I was bearing for myself only deepened. Did I really have such a lack of control?

Yggdrasil's finger touched the hickey he had just made before trailling against my collarbone, grazing and caressing it. "Since the last one has dissapeared, I needed to make you a new one, don't you think?" His finger went lower to stop on my left nipple and he began to laugh. "They're even redder than before, can you believe it? And I just touched you a little bit. Kratos, what a pervert you are!"

"Seeing the cowardice you used to get to that result, I would say the pervert is you." I replied with a terrifying calm as I was trying to collect myself in hopes of reacting in a better way. Yggdrasil's eyes darkened for a short moment before going back to their happy gleam. His two thumbs laid on my nipples and crushed them roughly, molding them before pinching them without restraint. I threw my head backwards as my body jolted and an exclamation of pure rapture left me before I could stop myself. The movement had taken me by surprise, destroying all my hopes of calming down. It was as if an electric shock had run through my back.

"Is that really how you should talk to me, Kratos? Anyway, I know you're not thinking what you said. After all, look at you! You're already enjoying it that much and I'm just touching you." I wanted to die. Die so I could stop feeling that burning heat each time he touched my skin, die to never feel that pleasure again, die because I was so ashamed!

He threw a glance to my waist before bursting out laughing. "And you dare tell me you don't like it? Look, you're already hard!" I blushed, feeling even more ashamed and I avoided his gaze. I felt more and more disgusted at myself. His face came close to mine until there was only mere inches between us. "I can see it in your eyes. You want more! You want more and more pleasure, you want to be satisfied!"

I felt dirty, so dirty because he was right. Despite my protests, despite everything I could say to try defending myself, I wanted more.

Yuan would never forgive me.

My superior's hand slid under my chin and lifted my face so our gazes could meet. "Look at me, look only at me for all eternity. It's an order." His lips locked with mine in a kiss, but this time, I brutally bit his tongue. He quickly released me and hissed in pain. He threw me a murderous look which I answered with a mocking and defying expression, despite my jerky breathing and my need of... no, I didn't want to think about it. There was no way I would let him do as he pleased without fighting back!

His mouth filled with blood, Yggdrasil took a long breathing before smiling again at me. "You really want to play this game, Kratos?" He asked me, his lips now near my neck. "Don't you know it makes me want you even more for myself?" Without as much as a warning, his teeth sank into the flesh of my neck and I let out a cry between pain and rapture. "Two can play that game, Kratos." He sucked the blood that rolled down my neck and his tongue licking my skin with a sensual and infinite softness made me shiver despite myself. It was because of the drug, it wasn't me, I would never ask for more otherwise, it wasn't my –

My eyes widened and I moaned lengthily as his hands went lower, snaking on my stomach to caress it with infinite tenderness. And the lower he went, the more I felt my heart beat rapidly, the more my temperature rose, the more...

The more I felt myself tormented by conflicting thoughts. The more my mind was begging him – yes, begging – to stop everything, to leave me alone. And my body also felt more and more the need to feel his fingers on that intimate place I would have rather never shown him.

"You're so tensed!" He exclaimed with humor as he dropped a kiss on my navel. "I didn't know you wanted me that much! Kratos, you naughty boy, you shouldn't lie to your superior by trying to make him believe you don't want him!" His fingers deftly undid my pants and removed them, along with my underwear, which he threw near my shirt, leaving me completely nude in front of Yggdrasil. I had never felt so humiliated in my whole life. I wanted to hide in the darkest and most inaccessible corner of the room and never get out.

His eyes, like those of a vulture, stared at me head to toes as he was licking his lips, as if he was about to devour a delicious meal. Which wasn't entirely false in his point of view. "How did I manage to wait for so long?" He whispered and I felt even more disgusted than before. Just by the way he was looking at me, I felt so dirty and defiled. I tried to hide myself by tucking my legs under me, but Yggdrasil grabbed them harshly before spreading them to get a better view. I felt myself blush with shame and closed my eyes to chase away the images in my head.

"You're so beautiful! I still can't believe I waited for so long." He snickered while he was still looking over me. One of his hands closed around my member and caressed it softly, earning from me an exclamation of pure pleasure. "You know..." Yggdrasil began. "If you had accepted to be mine without struggling so much, I surely would have let you top." He admitted nonchalantly and I threw him a murderous glance as I was trying to control my breathing and the beating of my heart. "You think it would have changed anything? I never wanted for this to happen and being on top or bottom doesn't change the fact I hate you with all my heart!" I spat out. There it was. I finally admitted what I was feeling for him. What I was feeling since Mithos had disappeared to make room to Yggdrasil.

And this earned me another slap across the face, more violent and vicious than the others. I tasted blood in my mouth and at the same time, I moaned in pleasure at the sensation of Yggdrasil's hand caressing my member up and down. "It's funny, your body is telling me the opposite. Isn't it strange? I want you more and more, you know that?" He disgusted me so much I wanted to puke. "Even if you mean what you just said, even if you hate me, I don't care. I'm very capable of keeping you with me without you being ever able to escape. Anyway, it's said that hate and love are two faces of one coin. So I don't care, as long as you feel something for me. I prefer your hate over that hateful impassible expression." He admitted and I cursed him from the bottom of my heart. What should I do for him to finally leave me alone?

I suddenly felt something cold penetrate inside of me and I squirmed at the incomfort it was bringing me. I understood that this thing was none other that Yggdrasil's finger. I finally realized what my superior wanted exactly from me and panic took hold of my entire being. I didn't want it, I didn't want to be violated like this!

"Yggdrasil, please, stop it!" I had always shown a strong side, but right now, I didn't have the strength anymore. I felt pathetic for being so afraid, but I couldn't stop the fear and I had no option left but begging. And I was so panicked I hadn't realized how I had called him.

When he heard me, his eyes darkened dangerously and he glanced at me with a furor I had never seen in him. "What did you call me?" He asked with a calm voice, but still full of threat. "What did you _dare _call me? You who I gave permission to call me by my first name, you who I permitted to stay near me, what did you _call me_?" He quickly inserted two more fingers inside of me and pushed them deep, tearing a cry of pain from my throat. What was happening? Why did this have to happen to me?

The fingers of his other hand circled my neck as his face got closer to mine. "I won't permit you to get away from me. I'll repeat it as many times as necessary; you don't have the right to leave me, _am I being clear_?" I softly nodded while hoping he would release me so I could breath again, not daring to defy him another time. I was... scared. Really scared. And I couldn't do anything other than admitting it now. I, who was usually so strong, was only a coward and a weak man in front of Yggdrasil.

"Good." He finally released me and I coughed to take back my breath, trying not to let out cries of pain because of his fingers scissoring my insides, seemingly searching for something at the same time. "Relax, or stretching you will have served nothing!" He exclaimed and I was tempted to throw daggers at him. It wasn't as easy as it looked! Did he seriously believe I could relax while he was _violating_ me?

His fingers finally found what they were searching for and my body jolted as I let out a cry of delight. "Oh, found it!" Yggdrasil exclaimed with joy, hitting that zone again and again, earning from me many reactions which pleased him. "You see? I knew I could give you pleasure you never experienced before!"

I immediately felt ashamed. "I would never feel any of this if you hadn't drugged me! I would never feel anything coming from you!" I said with hostility and Yggdrasil snickered. "I'm not sure about that, you see." He replied mysteriously before hitting that sensitive spot again.

He finally withdrew his fingers, only to spread my legs furthermore and I knew what would follow. I didn't want it. I wanted so much for this all to be a nightmare. I wanted to wake up in the next seconds next to Yuan, which sole presence would be enough to reassure me.

But this was all too real and I soon heard the sound of a belt being opened and of pants being removed before feeling Yggdrasil penetrate inside me in one swift movement. He was far bigger than his feminine fingers had been and I could only cry out in pain, gritting my teeth and closing my eyes to try calming myself. I was panting hard, I felt hot and my heart was beating too quickly, but soon the pain faded away. I didn't know if it was a good thing or not as my body was slowly getting used to Yggdrasil who rammed harshly inside me, visibly not able to retain himself. My body seemed to suddenly appreciate the other man buried in me, which disgusted me to no end.

My superior left out a groan of satisfaction. "Ah, you're so tight! But it's perfect like that, I love the feel of you around me." He purred and I avoided his gaze, feeling more and more soiled and dirty.

He continued his hard trusting, hitting with more and more force, tearing several cries of pain mixed with pleasure from me as I felt a sticky substance inside of me; surely my blood. It didn't seem to bother Yggdrasil who now seemed in his own little world. He too was basking in sweat, panting and groaning in pleasure and joy. I wanted to throw up.

Soon, none of us could stand it much longer as we both got close to our orgasm. Yggdrasil was the first to reach it and he shot his seeds in me without any shame. As I was about to reach mine, he suddenly put his thumb on the tip of my member, preventing me from obtaining the peak of my pleasure. Panting, suddenly hurting all over, I hated him more than ever for doing this to me.

He slid out of me before staring at me with mockery. "You want to cum, don't you?" He whispered with amusement and malice and I avoided his gaze, refusing to answer. He heaved a soft sigh. "Answer me, Kratos." Humiliated, I softly nodded, which made Yggdrasil smile in satisfaction. "Very well. Then you'll have to beg me!"

I suddenly lifted my head in horror and despite. Me, begging him? Never! There was no way I would do that!

But his hold on me wasn't loosening and it made me think about it. It hurt so much, I wanted... to come. The thought was disgusting me, but it was the truth.

"Come on, Kratos, I want to hear you beg! Prove me that you've been taught the lesson, that you know you belong to me now!" He added with his eternally mocking smile. I really had no choice but to do it...

"I-I beg you, Mithos." I muttered lowly and Yggdrasil arched an eyebrow. "What? I'm not certain I heard right."

"Please, Mithos." I said louder this time. "I beg you, let me... come." These words were like poison on my tongue and I wanted to die a million times for having said them! Yggdrasil snickered. "Very well, Kratos! You finally understood!" And he released his hold on me, finally letting me reach my climax as he watched me with a satisfied expression.

* * *

.

..

...

...

...

...

(End of lemon...)

* * *

After looking at me several minutes regaining my breath, he finally stood up, taking something on my bed table; a key and... another pill that he examined before smiling at me. Don't tell me he wanted to do it again?

"Ah, by the way, did I forget to mention that pill I gave you earlier was nothing more than plain flour?" A disbelieving expression crossed my features at this revelation and I swiftly shook my head. No, no, I couldn't believe it! He was lying, it had to be a drug he had given me, there was no other choice!

As if he wanted to contradict me, he took the pill and swallowed it, waiting for several minutes. When nothing happened, I was confronted with the harsh reality and my face became livid. He... he had given me flour? Only plain flour? So everything he had done to me until now...

"I believe you finally understand who you belong to now, right?" He whispered joyfully as he untied my shackles before leaving my room, bursting out in laughter and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I stayed like that for a long time, not moving, with my blank face staring at the ceiling. I think I even fell asleep at some point, but I wasn't sure. I could only revisit the horrible memories of what Yggdrasil had done to me, of what I had felt, of how much I had... liked what had happened.

And finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I was dirty, defiled, disgusting. I wanted to wash myself, to clean away Yggdrasil's touch that still lingered on my skin, to get rid of his caresses still burning on my flesh.

I stood up with difficulty as a vivid pain shot through my lower back. I tried to ignore it the more I could and walked slowly to the bathroom, hanging onto the wall to prevent me from falling because of the weakness in my legs. I finally arrived at destination and immediately started up the water of the shower before entering it. I let myself slide against the wall to sit on the floor, letting the boiling water submerge me. I was feeling apathetic again, cutting off my emotions as I was trying to forget the fresh events.

"_Oh, Kratos! I didn't know you were so sensitive!" He whispered with a soft voice and I glared at him. "And whose fault is that, huh?" I spat out hatefully. "Ah ah aah!" He chanted. "I'm sure that even without the drug, you would appreciate it as much. But it's got no importance. Look, I barely touched your skin and you're already asking for more!"_

I was forced to meet the fact that my memories didn't want to leave me, no matter what I tried or wanted. They were haunting me, recalling to my mind with mockery, refusing to let me forget. It was at that time that the need to clean away everything washed over me. Quickly, I took the soap lying in the shower and began to rub my arm without restraint. I had to scrub it away, to get rid of everything Yggdrasil had left on me! I was dirty, disgusting! I had to wash it all away!

_Yggdrasil's finger touched the hickey he had just made before trailing against my collarbone, grazing and caressing it. "Since the last one has disappeared, I needed to make you a new one, don't you think?"_

The soap left my arm and went to my neck, at the exact place where the hickey was visible. I tried to make it disappear. I didn't want any trace of Yggdrasil on me, I had to rub it again and again until everything would just fade away! It was impossible, I knew it, but I couldn't think rationally anymore, not after everything that had happened.

_His mouth filled with blood, Yggdrasil took a long breathing before smiling again at me. "You really want to play at this game, Kratos?" He asked me, his lips now near my neck. "Don't you know it makes me want you even more for myself?" Without as much as a warning, his teeth sank into the flesh of my neck and I let out a cry between pain and rapture. "Two can play that game, Kratos."_

This time, I rubbed the soap on the other side of my neck, where he had bit me. I ignored the throbbing pain that coursed through me, rubbing again and again. I wasn't aware of the tears burning the corners of my eyes because of the pain. I was completely out of it, in a second state.

"_You're so tensed!" He exclaimed with humour as he dropped a kiss on my navel. "I didn't know you wanted me that much! Kratos, you naughty boy, you shouldn't lie to your superior by trying to make him believe you don't want him!"_

I went to scrub my stomach now, not stopping even when my skin was getting raw and completely red. The boiling water wasn't helping, but I didn't care. All I wanted was to disinfect myself, to not feel Yggdrasil on me anymore!

I continued to rub my skin everywhere, having almost the impression I was peeling it raw without really realizing it. But even as I scrubbed again and again, the memories were coming back faster, swirling in my head, making me lose it completely. I couldn't get rid of him, no matter what I tried. He was more and more present.

With rage, I threw the soap against the opposite wall of the shower. I buried my face in my hands, feeling the livid tears threatening to fall. Why couldn't I get free from his grasp, why?

My thoughts suddenly turned to Yuan and my anger faded to be replaced by a cold horror. How could I face him now that Yggdrasil had done what he wanted with me? I couldn't tell him what had happened; he would worry too much and it was the last thing I wanted.

But I was dirtier than ever; I would never be able to touch him anymore, not even to stroke his soft and beautiful hair. I had ruined everything between us. I wasn't worth anything and I didn't deserve him.

I didn't want to return to the apartment either. I didn't want to face him, because I wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes as I would be too ashamed and humiliated. However, if I didn't return soon to Yuan's home, he would worry of my absence and would search for me. Which was the worst thing of all, since Yggdrasil might still be around somewhere.

What was I supposed to do?

* * *

**A/N : **Ooooh, cliff-hanger! Bet you didn't see that one coming, did you? xD

What will Kratos do? How will Yuan react when he'll learn? You'll obviously know only in the next chapter and onward xD

And I'm sure everyone's mad for the fact that Kvar is still free *insertevillaugh* Well, not everything can go smoothly, now, can it?

Well, I'll stop babbling now. I want to say thanks to our reviewers and our readers for keeping up with us! Thank you!

See you guys in two chapters!


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **Hello everyone!

Since we made everyone wait for a very long time before putting chapter 19 online, Saenda and me decided to give you this little gift to apologize. That's right! Chapter 20 is already finished!

So I won't keep you any longer. Read at your leisure! I'll see you at the end! ;)

* * *

**Chapter 20**

That fateful day Bryant had announced me the death of my two colleagues, it took me a lot of effort to return to the apartment, knowing I would have trouble hiding my distress to Kratos. And I was too ashamed to tell him what happened. He would probably be highly disappointed.

I went home near six o'clock, totally lost in my depressive thoughts. Kratos greeted me and kissed my forehead tenderly, but I wasn't aware of it happening before a long time passed. I finally answered him by the affirmative, but I saw he didn't believe me as he asked me if something was wrong. In fact, there was, but I wasn't ready to tell him. I lied to him, a lie through which Kratos saw clearly, but he didn't push me to confide what was happening.

He invited me to eat and I complied. We ate in silence. My mind was elsewhere again, repeating in circles the conversation I had with Bryant.

When I was finished, I stood up to bring my plate to the sink. I only then realized my hands had been shaking for a while now as I dropped accidentally the plate that broke in several pieces on the floor. Without thinking further, I knelt mechanically to clean the mess I had made. But the shaking of my hands caused me to cut the palm of my hand on a broken piece of porcelain. I let out a hiss of pain.

Kratos was immediately by my side, standing me up and looking at my wound. He guided me to the sink and placed my hand under the cold water, telling me to stay there. I was barely aware of what was happening and my gaze was fixed on the ground as my thoughts were far away. Even when Kratos came back with the first aid kit and began bandaging my hand, I didn't moved.

I suddenly got out of my reverie when Kratos called my name brusquely. I lifted surprised eyes on him as he asked me again what was wrong. I lied again, feeling annoyance swell up slowly in me as he didn't want to let go of the subject. I told him dryly that it wasn't his business before brusquely taking back my hand when he finished bandaging it. I turned my back to him before resuming picking up the debris. Kratos imitated me and admitted he was really worried to see me like this, so lost in thoughts that I hadn't noticed I had cut myself. He went away to get a broom and I slowly stood up, a guilty expression on my face. I shouldn't have been so mean to him. All he wanted was to stop worrying, for God's sake! Anyway, I had to tell him sooner or later... At least concerning the death of the two police officers. I didn't want to tell him the investigation had been put on hold.

When he came back, I told him that what was bothering me concerned him to some extent. He seemed a little surprised and put down the broom before breaking the distance that separated us, cupping my face between his hands to reassure me. He asked me again what was plaguing me with gentleness and patience. I took a deep breath before admitting with sadness the death of my colleagues. He sympathized while seeing their death was affecting me, but he didn't seem to understand why it concerned him. I told him they had been affected to Kvar's case. This time, he clearly understood. I began to tell him about the guilt that had been eating at me since my conversation with Bryant. I couldn't forgive myself; If I had known things would end up like this, I never would have asked for Bryant's help!

Seeing I was beginning to panic, Kratos called my name and put a finger on my lips to hush me gently. He tried to put me at ease by telling me it wasn't my fault, but it only angered me more.

And in my anger, I told him despite myself that the investigation had been put on hold. When I realized what I had said, horror showed on my features and I swiftly backed away from Kratos, lowering my gaze on the ground as I was too ashamed. I had completely failed at avenging his family. I couldn't look him in the eyes anymore.

But Kratos wasn't thinking that way. He slowly got closer to me and snaked an arm around my waist, pulling me against him firmly and stroking my hair to appease me. He repeated it wasn't my fault and assured me he would never bear a grudge against me. He lifted my chin to lock his gaze with mine and patiently explained he wasn't surprised the investigation had stopped. I wanted to reply it could have been avoided, but he cut me out by promising me we would find a solution to stop both Kvar and Yggdrasil. The determination I read in his eyes made me smile and I leaned more against his chest. He admitted with a sardonic smile that he could still continue the investigation on his side, since he had no obligation to Bryant, which was true. For now, it would be our only option to try imprisoning Kvar. I hoped it would be enough.

I took advantage of this moment to stay in the warmth of his arms and I felt my heart melt when he said he loved me and that I was more important to him than the investigation. I also wanted to tell him I loved him, but the words still refused to pass my lips. I felt bad about that, I felt bad by this part of me that wanted to protect my heart in an ultimate defense. I contented myself by smiling at him and kissing him softly before thanking him with gratitude. He was always able to lighten my heart from it's worries. It was one of the many reasons I loved him.

* * *

Several days later, I was sitting in the lounge listening to the news channel in the late afternoon when Kratos arrived from work. He joined me and immediately lent me a bundle of sheets from behind the sofa without saying anything. Curious, I threw him a simple greeting before reading rapidly the sheets he seemed eager to show me. An immense happiness washed over me when I understood it was the evidence we needed to throw Kvar in jail. I was so relieved that I couldn't describe it in words. And I saw Kratos was in the same state as I was. How could it be any different? The murderer of his family would finally pay!

Suddenly, he put a hand on the top of my hair and ruffled them. I immediately got angry and tried to dislodge his hand. After a short fight, I managed to caught his arm and pulled on it with strength. Kratos toppled over the sofa and fell on me. I took that opportunity to steal a kiss from him. I was so happy that I wasn't angry by Kratos' teasing anymore. I showed him a satisfied and victorious smile. He surrendered the victory to me with an amused sigh.

I was disappointed when he stood up as I had wanted to keep him longer close to me. Pushing my disappointment aside, I asked him where he had found the report. I was mortified when he told me he had received it from Zelos. Was he insane? Kratos explained he would be really surprised if Zelos betrayed us because he was also responsible. I wasn't fully satisfied by his answer, but I didn't push the topic. I was too happy we could finally make some progress with the investigation. It almost made me forget about the anxiety we were living these last few days, waiting for Bryant's decision.

* * *

The next day, I received a call from Jiang Liu, who wanted to invite me in his mansion. I accepted, since I had only one week left to finish this mission. He asked me to meet him at the same lawyer's firm than last time.

I went to Nara a second time, to _Mao and Chang_ at the hour we had decided on. I waited in the hall for Liu to finish his work. I didn't have to wait for long. He soon left his office, his coat draped around his broad shoulders. When he saw me, a large smile dawned on his dark and elegant features. "Ah, Mister Nagano! I'm delighted to see you again!" His voice was deep and sincere, which surprised me. I returned his smile. "I'm glad to see you too, Mister Jiang."

Liu walked to me and put a hand behind my back, guiding me to the exit. "Can I call you Sano?" His request surprised me and I lifted my eyes on him, only to see him smile gently.

"Y-yes, of course." I replied simply. It seemed to satisfy him. "Then call me Liu, please." I nodded. At least, if I could gain his trust, it would facilitate things. He guided me to his car and asked his driver to drive my car to his house.

The trip to his home wasn't too long. When we arrived in front of his mansion, I couldn't do anything but gape at it. It was... huge. I didn't know what to say other than that. After crossing the front gate, we drove around a beautiful asiatic garden, that was decorated with many plants and flowers unknown to me. I looked through the window with admiration. I heard Liu laugh softly. "What do you think of my garden, Sano?" He asked softly and his voice startled me. I turned around to look at him. "It's magnificent. There are a lot of plants I don't know about. Are they from China?" I asked with a sincerely curious voice. "Yes. My father frequently goes back to China to take care of our company. He almost always bring back specimens from there. Not that I complain."

Awaiting for us after the garden was the master house. It was a big manor with a complex architecture. It seemed way too big for only one person. We got out of the car and I let my gaze wander on the facade of the manor.

"Are you living all alone in here?" I asked without being able to stop myself. Liu passed by me and walked to the entrance. "Yes, but my father is staying here when he is in Japan. And my cousin Wu is more often here than he should. So I don't really have the occasion of feeling alone." He explained as he reached the front door. "After you, Sano." He opened the door and I went in. He closed it after us. The inside of the manor was as imposing and luxurious as the outside. I didn't need to ask where to money to construct this had come from. I let my gaze wander over the sculpted stairs and the paintings hanging on the walls. I didn't even noticed that a servant had taken my coat to put it in the locker room. Another man arrived and bowed in front of his master. "You came back just in time, Mister Jiang. The dinner is ready." Liu nodded before guiding me to the entrance of a hallway. "Then, shall we?"

The dinner had been very pleasant. The more I got to know Liu, the more I told myself it was a shame he was a member of the mafia. He seemed like an honest man, despite his vocation. Rather reserved, he was still talking about what he held important. He was reminding me of Kratos, in a way. In any case, he wasn't like Yggdrasil at all. My intuition told me his goals had to differ too.

After dinner, he guided me to the room where he stocked his collections. I was genuinely impressed. He had an impressive collection of foreign and rare weapons and I couldn't stop myself from asking how he had obtained them. He softly laughed, caressing the glass container protecting a Dragunov, a russian sniper rifle. "Let's just say having many contacts helps a lot." A mysterious smile dawned on my lips. "I understand it's a secret?" Liu answered with the same smile.

My gaze was attracted to another wall and I got closer as curiosity filled me. Up close, I could see it was all paintings of beautiful young men bearing butterfly wings. They were magnificent. I jumped when I felt Liu's presence behind me. I didn't turn around, however. "Are you the one who painted these?" I asked without turning my gaze away from them.

"Yes. I painted them all from real models." He explained on a low tone. I felt his large hands touch my arms and I froze. I tried not to look troubled. "I see you like butterflies." I whispered on a calm tone. One of Liu's hands rose to my neck and pushed my hair away to expose my neck. "They're fascinating me. I don't understand how they can have such strength hidden inside, which helps them to survive winter, and still be so delicate at the same time. They're always giving the impression they'll crumble at a single touch and that their fleeting beauty will disappear soon after they were born. They remind me of you..." He whispered with a sensual voice and his lips travelled on the sensitive skin of my neck. I shivered at his touch, but didn't budge. It was as if I was nailed to the ground. "You pleased me from the very first moment I laid my eyes on you, Sano. Something unexplainable in you attracts me and I can't stop thinking about you since our first meeting. Maybe it's your surreal beauty, your piercing gaze or your gracious physique..." He added in a whisper before kissing the hollow of my neck, gently nibbling an erogenous zone. I bit my lip to prevent myself from reacting to his attentions. I had to stay calm. I couldn't afford to push him away stupidly.

His hands still on my arms, he quickly turned me around so I would be facing him. I could clearly see desire gleam in his eyes. My mind was furiously debating on my options. One of Liu's hand caressed my cheek softly. My breathing caught in my throat. "Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you. What I want is for you to accept to belong to me. I could offer you everything you ever desired; money, power, a lover that would satisfy you..." I didn't know what to answer, even as it seemed so _wrong_. Seeing I wasn't answering, Liu put an arm around my waist and his face came closer to mine so he could claim my lips. This seemed to finally put me out of my torpor.

"No, stop it!" I exclaimed while pushing on his chest to get away from him. He let me distance myself, but not without a disappointed expression on his face. I tried to regain my composure. "I-I'm sorry, Liu. But I've already given my heart to someone else." I whispered while diverting my gaze. I didn't want anyone else to kiss me than Kratos. I didn't want anyone else to embrace me or claim me as his own. Only Kratos had that right. I was angry with myself for not having reacted sooner, for not having pushed him away as soon as I understood his intentions.

Liu had a sad laugh and one of his hands went to his ebony hair. "I should have known. It would have been surprising if a beautiful man like you didn't have a lover. I have to admit I'm jealous of the man who stole your heart." His words startled me and I looked at him with embarrassment. "How- how do you know it's a man?" I asked despite my uneasiness. A small smile made its way on the Liu's lips and he got closer to me again, taking one of my bangs and playing with it between his fingers. "Only my intuition. No women could tame that light and that strong character I see in you, of that I am sure." He whispered before letting go of my hair. I was deeply embarrassed by his comments and barely managed to stop the blush that threatened to reach my cheeks. I looked at him carefully, afraid that he might still try something. Liu seemed to read my thoughts. He put a hand on the wall behind me and leaned closer, looking directly in my eyes. "Don't worry. Even if I want you, I don't like having an unwilling lover. But if you ever change your mind someday, I'll be more than happy to welcome you in my bed." He said with seriousness and I had trouble again to stop myself from blushing. He backed away with a side smile.

At that precise moment, someone knocked on the door and Liu asked him to enter. The door opened and the butler entered, bowing respectively in front of Liu. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Mister Jiang, but Mister Mizuno Atzuji has just arrived. He wants to meet with you." Liu seemed a little discontent, but he still nodded. "Very well. Tell him I'll be with him in a few minutes." The butler bowed again before leaving the room. Liu turned to face me, but I didn't see it.

Mizuno Atzuji... I knew that name. He was a well known doctor, one of the best in all Japan. Why did he have connections with the Jiang clan? It was really strange...

I jumped when Liu's hand brushed against my cheek. He threw me an amused smile. "What were you thinking about just now?" He asked and I forced myself to bear an indifferent expression. "Oh, nothing really important." Liu didn't push the subject. "I'm sorry, but I unfortunately don't have anymore time to give you. A client has just arrived and I have to meet with him." He explained and I shook my head. A client, huh? "Don't worry about it." I simply answered and slowly made my way to the door. Liu caught up with me and grabbed my arm, forcing me to face him. "I would really like to see you again in a few days, Sano. We still haven't concluded a deal. And I'll have a gift to give you." He said and his words made me uneasy. "A gift? No, I don't think I can – " I began with hesitation, but Liu cut me off. "Just wait to see it before refusing. I promise you'll like it."

* * *

When I came back home, I found Kratos sitting on the sofa watching the news, surely checking to see if Kvar was mentioned anywhere. The irresistible need to be close to him gota hold of me, after spending so much time with Liu. I entered the lounge and climbed on the sofa, pressing my body against his side with a sight of contentment before he even had the chance to greet me. He seemed surprised by my action since it took him a long time before embracing me. "Yuan? Is everything alright?" He asked, worried by my strange behaviour. I closed my eyes and huddled even closer to him. "I'm okay. I just couldn't wait to see you, that's all." I whispered, remembering Liu's words. Kratos kissed my forehead longingly and played with the hair that hid a part of my face. "If you act like this every time you miss me, it's far from being unpleasant." He commented with some amusement. I didn't answer, contenting myself with gliding my fingers on his chest in a distracted manner. I didn't notice Kratos stiffened under my touch. I was too preoccupied.

"How was your meeting with Jiang?" As soon as he said his question, I stopped my movements and sighed deeply. "Not like I expected. We didn't concluded a deal and I didn't learn much. But... he took that opportunity to ask me to... become his lover." I said, waiting for Kratos' reaction. A reaction that didn't take time to happen. The arm around my waist tightened its hold. I lifted my eyes and saw the angry and annoyed expression of my lover. "Did he touch you?" He asked on a tone that wanted an answer. I felt bad for talking about it to him, but he had the right to know. I felt like it was my fault, like I was responsible for Liu's desire. "He tried, but I stopped him in time. I told him I already belong to someone else. He understood, but he was disappointed. He's not like Rodyle." I tried to reassure him, but Kratos' anger didn't seem about to fade. "If you weren't so attractive, this kind of situation wouldn't happen." He groaned and an undignified expression showed on my features. I backed away until I could look at his face. "What, so its my fault if perverts like Rodyle wants to rape me?" I exclaimed with anger. It wasn't something I wanted to hear.

A side smile appeared on Kratos' face and he pushed a finger into my cheek, which was highly unpleasant. "Exactly what I'm saying. You should know better than prancing around in public!" He teased me and I got even more annoyed. I knew he wasn't angry anymore since I had told him I had refused Liu's advances.

I pushed his hand away and threw him a dark glance. "I'm _not_ prancing around in public! You should already know I don't like that kind of attention!" I tried to get away from Kratos as my mood was completely ruined, thanks to him. But he wasn't about to let me go. "Let me go, you – " I got angry, but the sudden touch of Kratos' lips on mine prevented me from finishing my thought. The kiss was slow and deep, making me melt into it and I surrendered into his embrace. He seemed to have a real talent in making me forget the reason of my anger. When he broke the kiss, he lovingly caressed my cheek. His face was serious again. "I'm teasing you, you should know by now. But I really don't like it when other men are leering at you." He admitted with sincerity and I couldn't stop myself from smiling at his words. I loved it when he was playing possessive with me.

In a quick movement, I straddled him and my arms circled his neck. Before Kratos had the idea to push me away, I leaned over him and nibbled his earlobe before whispering sensuously; "You shouldn't bother with so little, Kratos. I belong only to you; I have eyes only for you. You can do what you want with me." My words had a strong impact on Kratos. His hands gripped my hips, but I couldn't say if it was to keep me in that position or to push me away. I looked at his face and saw the hesitation in his eyes. "Yuan – " He began, but I put a finger on his lips to hush him. "Please... Relax and let me do it. You don't have to do anything."

Kratos didn't answer and I took it for his agreement. I dropped kisses along his chin as my hands took support on his broad shoulders, caressing them softly. I felt him shiver under my attentions and it pushed me to continue. I went to his neck, leaving soft kisses on every piece of skin I could find and nibbled affectionately, but not hard enough to mark the skin. I had enough presence of mind not to mark him, in case Yggdrasil came to see it. My hands lowered slowly onto his arms, feeling his hard muscles under my fingers. An appreciative sound left Kratos' lips. That sound made shivers run down my spine. My lips soon found the collar of his shirt, blocking my way. My hands found the buttons of his shirt and began to open them slowly. Kratos' hands on my hips tightened their hold and I knew he was about to push me away. So I rolled my hips sensuously against his and caught his lips, muffling his moan of pleasure in the same time. I took that time to open his shirt fully and my hands laid on his firm chest, feeling the heat of his skin. I broke the kiss and my mouth attacked his chest with fervour as my hands resumed their path down. When they got to his belt, Kratos' hands caught them gently, preventing me from going further. I lifted my gaze to his face and met Kratos' eyes, gleaming with apologies. I sighed with disappointment. I knew from the start that he wouldn't give up, but I still wanted to try.

I made a move to stand up, but Kratos embraced me firmly, keeping me close to his heart. I felt him shake against me. "Forgive me, Yuan. I really can't do this." He bitterly said. I closed my eyes and let out a long sigh before getting out of his embrace. I stood up and turned my back to him to hide the expression of pain that took hold of my face. "You shouldn't apologize. It's my fault. I'm the one who is stupid enough to think you would desire me enough one day to get back on your decision." I said with a hurt voice. I heard Kratos stand up, but before he had time to do or say anything, his cellphone rang. He let it ring a few times before taking the call with an annoyed sigh. However, his gaze never left me; I could feel it.

"Kratos Aurion here." He answered with a calm voice and I distinctly heard an annoyed voice on the other side. I soon knew it was Yggdrasil.

Their conversation was short. I understood Yggdrasil wanted to see Kratos on the double. When the latter hang up, he sighed again and walked to me. "Yggdrasil wants to see me right now. He seemed hysterical. It surely concerns Kvar." He explained calmly, but I answered nothing. Kratos caught my arm and tried to turn me around, but I shrugged him away, refusing to look at him. "You should go. It'd be best not to make him wait." I whispered on a firm tone. A silence followed my words. Kratos' hand suddenly went from my arm to my chin and turned my face towards him. He dropped a quick kiss on my lips. "I'm sorry, for everything. We'll continue this conversation when I return, okay?" His tone was soft and it calmed my pain a little. I nodded and looked at him leaving the apartment without a word.

* * *

It was late now and Kratos still hadn't returned. Worried, I called him several times on his phone, but never did he picked up the phone. My anger had vanished which each passing hour, only to be replaced by undying worry. I was worried sick, furthermore by knowing he had left to meet with Yggdrasil. And the latter hadn't seem in a good mood, after Kvar's arrest. I feared he would take it out on Kratos and that fear was devouring me from the inside as time passed.

It was nearing nine in the evening when I finally heard the front door open slowly. I rushed to the entrance, my face plagued by worry. "Kratos! You're finally here, I – " I stopped talking when I saw Kratos. His face was deathly pale and his features were drawn, making him look way older. He passed by me, whispering a simple greeting and avoiding my gaze. I was petrified by such an attitude. This wasn't him. Kratos disappeared in my room and I followed him soon after, alarmed and distressed.

He was sitting on my bed, turning his back to me. I silently met up with him and my hand softly brushed his shoulder. I wasn't expecting his reaction. Kratos startled violently and turned around, fear clearly visible in his eyes. I could only stare at him for several seconds, my hand still hovering in the air as I realized something was terribly wrong with him. He wasn't himself at all. It was as if a different person was sitting in front of me. A feeling of immense apprehension took hold of me. Kratos seemed to desperately try regaining his calm. "Forgive me, Yuan. I'm only a little overwrought, that's all." I scowled at his words. He wanted me to believe his reaction was normal? I wasn't a fool! "Kratos, what's wrong? I never saw you in such a distressed state. What happened back there?" I enquired softly, not even trying to hide my worry. Kratos diverted his gaze. "I'm fine, stop worrying about it." He replied on a harsh tone. Annoyed and worried beyond belief, I was about to reply something, but my eyes were inexplicably attracted to his neck. I pushed aside the collar of shirt with an abrupt gesture. Kratos quickly pushed my hand away, covering his neck again, but I had time to see the large hickey that decorated it. Various emotions rose in me at the same time; anger in front of Kratos' refusal to talk to me, worry when I imagined what might have happened and _jealousy_, because someone had put his hands on my Kratos. And I thought I knew who.

"Who did this to you?" I asked seriously, trying to control the shaking of my voice. Kratos groaned with irritation before answering me harshly; "Forget it, okay? I don't want to talk about it." He made a move to stand up, but I wasn't about to let him go. I grabbed his arm and pulled strongly on it, making him lose his balance and he fell back on the bed. I straddled him to prevent him from getting away. "It's Yggdrasil, isn't it? He went for you again?" A threatening growl rose in his throat as anger mixed with the fear in his eyes. "I told you to forget it!" This only worsened my distress.

Something serious had happened; I knew it, but he refused to tell me! It only worried me more. My hands gripped his shoulders in a strong vise. "How do you expect me not to worry about you? I never saw you in such a state, so scared and frightened! What did he do to you to drive you to this?" I exclaimed with a begging voice.

My words didn't have the effect I hoped for. Fear disappeared in Kratos' eyes, making way to a deep anger. He flipped our positions in a quick movement and I let out an exclamation of surprise when my back suddenly collided into the mattress. His weight crushed me uncomfortably and I tried to push him away, but Kratos caught my wrists and pinned them above my head. My heart was beating madly as I was unable to move, unable to get him off me. Kratos' face came closer to mine, until his breath mixed with my own jerky breathing. "Since you want to know that badly, I'll just have to show you what he did to me." He whispered with a threatening and deep voice that gave me violent shivers.

Without so much as a warning, he claimed my lips in a hungry and aggressive kiss, slipping his tongue between my lips open by the surprise of his sudden attack. I felt myself respond despite the protests of my mind, which yelled to me that it was wrong, that he wasn't in his normal state. But I had desired that intimacy so badly, I had waited so much for this moment to happen that I wasn't even aware that something was amiss, that it was abnormal for him to act like this when he had refused my advances only hours before. My tongue entangled with his as he explored the cavern of my mouth. One of his hands let go of my wrists and slipped quickly under my shirt, caressing the skin of my stomach. Another violent shiver ran through my spine. I missed a breath as Kratos still ravished my lips. I broke the kiss and let out a moan of pleasure mixed with pain when his fingers found one of my nipples and pinched it harshly. His mouth found my neck and his lips caressed my skin in a sweet illusion before his teeth painfully sank in my tender skin, breaking it. It was all I needed to get me out of my reverie. I opened my eyes and struggled against Kratos.

"No, Kratos, stop!" I exclaimed, horrified and frightened. I didn't want any of this! My eyes met his and I knew he wasn't seeing me. He seemed lost in another world, lost in the memories of what Yggdrasil had done to him. I couldn't be mistaken, now. I knew what he had done to him and a strong vise clutched my heart at this thought.

Kratos didn't listen to my pleas. He licked the blood that seeped from my wound and his other hand lowered to grip my hip painfully, pinning me to the bed to stop my struggling. My panic rose as I was fatally aware that if I didn't stop him, I would be raped by the man I loved. My hands found his shoulders and I pushed against them with all my might, trying to push him away.

My striving earned me a violent pinch on my abused nipple and I let out a hiss of pain. His lips locked with mine again, but the kiss couldn't distract me from what was happening this time. His fingers which were torturing my nipple went lower on my chest and I froze when they stopped at my belt, playing with the buckle.

"Please, stop!" I begged again, still trying to get him off me. A low and frustrated growl rose from Kratos' throat and he caught my wrists, brusquely pinning them above my head again. He skillfully opened my belt with the other.

No, no, no! It was a nightmare, I couldn't let him do it! How would Kratos feel when he would regain his mind and see what he had done to me? I didn't want to think about it.

I struggled with renewed vigour, trashing against his hold with all my strength. I managed to pivot my hips and folded my leg. I didn't lose time to sink my knee brutally into his stomach. The hit took his breath away and loosened his hold on my wrists. Before he could pull himself together again, I slapped him across the face with enough strength to make his head turn sideway. His eyes widened under the impact. It was saddening me having to hurt him, but it was the only way to bring him back to reality. I took advantage of this moment to quickly back away from him, regaining my breath. Kratos slowly turned his head towards me and his eyes met mine. Surprise soon changed for horror when he realized what had just happened and the state I was in; my red cheeks, my ruffled hair, the bloody bruise on my neck and my unfastened belt. He seemed unable to talk as he sat down, completely mortified. I looked at him with sadness. "Do you really want to rape me as he raped you? If you do, you're no better than Yggdrasil. Would you still be able to live with yourself after that?" I whispered slowly with a tormented voice. I knew my words were rough and painful to hear, but I had to make him understand the reality of what had happened. Uncontrollable shaking took hold of Kratos as he hid his face in his hands. "What did I do?" He whispered miserably.

Tears silently ran down my cheeks and I did no effort to stop them. I wasn't weeping for myself, but for him. I never saw him so broken, so tormented. I carefully got closer to him, not wanting to rush him. I put my hands on his and softly pushed them aside to see his tortured and haunted face. "Kratos, I'm right here. It's alright, you did nothing wrong." I whispered to calm him, to try persuading him I was fine. I laid my forehead against his and tightened my hold on his hands.

Kratos closed his eyes, like he wanted to lock himself in a separate world, like he wanted to forget what just happened. "You shouldn't touch me. I'm dirty..." At his words, my tear stained face came closer to his and my lips met his. My gesture had the desired effect. Kratos opened his eyes under the surprise and I broke the soft contact. I gave him a sad smile. "I'll never think that, Kratos. No matter what might happen, I will always desire you, and I still want you to make love to me. But I don't want our first time to be like this." I explained with a voice shaking with emotion, sharing him my real feelings and the fear I had felt before. Yes, I couldn't wait for the moment when our bodies and soul would merge into one, when I could really believe I belonged only to Kratos and that he belonged only to me. But in such a brutal way... No. I wanted for our first time to be tinged with tenderness, softness and passion, and I was sure Kratos wanted the same thing.

My words had a devastating effect on Kratos. He broke into tears in front of me, his entire body shaking by his sobbing. Not knowing what else I could do, I wrapped my arms around him and whispered sweet words into his ear to calm him. Seeing him like this was breaking my heart in thousands of pieces. At the same time, a blinding rage rose in me. Yggdrasil would pay for what he had done to Kratos! I swore to myself that he would pay, even if I had to die in the process.

But I forced myself to contain my anger for the moment. Kratos needed comfort; he needed me right now.

We stayed like that for a long while, sitting on my bed, as I was holding Kratos near my heart like I feared he would disappear if I let go of him. Eventually, his sobbing died down and he fell asleep, totally exhausted. I listened to his even breathing for a long while. Personally, I didn't feel the need to sleep. I was too shaken by the events to sleep, anyway. But I didn't want to leave Kratos here alone, not after what had happened to him. So carefully, I shifted our position until my back was lying against the head of my bed and I laid Kratos on the bed, putting his head on my thigh. I stroked his hair softly, looking sadly at him.

I swore to myself Yggdrasil would never touch him again.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with the impression I needed to remember something important. The throbbing pain in my neck made me remember I fell asleep sitting against the head of the bed, in a position far from being comfortable. And the reason for it suddenly came cruelly back to my mind; Kratos.

It didn't take time for me to see he wasn't in bed anymore. Completely panicked, I started to search for him everywhere, until I heard the sound of the running water of the shower. I immediately found it strange. Kratos was rarely taking his shower at my home. Most of the time, he took it at the headquarters. I never knew why, though. Maybe he didn't feel totally at ease here, despite the time he was living with me now...

I chased these thoughts away and changed myself before making the breakfast. I was almost done when Kratos got out of the bathroom. I turned around when he entered the kitchen, neatly dressed, but still looking as tired and haunted as yesterday. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me and his gaze filled with sadness and remorse.

I tried a warm smile, trying to raise his spirit a little. "Breakfast will soon be ready. You want some?" I asked softly. Kratos seemed to hesitate a short moment before shaking his head. "No thanks. I'm not hungry." He whispered with an almost inaudible voice before taking a glass of water and leaving the kitchen. I stayed frozen for a long time, worried sick by his attitude. I didn't know if it was better to let him go without a word or if I had to try stopping him...

In the end, my heart won over my reason and I ran after Kratos, catching up with him just as he was about to leave the apartment. I rushed to him and my hands gripped tightly the back of his coat. Kratos stopped moving and I could feel his entire being tense at my action. I nibbled my bottom lip before saying what tormented me in a whisper; "Kratos, please don't go... I don't want Yggdrasil to hurt you anymore..." A long while passed in silence before Kratos finally turned around, this sadness even more vivid in his eyes. He rose a hand and brushed the bite mark he had done on my neck. "It'd be better that I get away from you. That way, I won't hurt you anymore." He replied on a tone filled with pain and regret. His hand left my neck and he turned around, putting a hand on the door knob.

I panicked at his words. They gave me the impression he wanted to go away forever... and never return... I gripped his arm, making him stop again. I couldn't let him leave like this. "You don't have to feel bad and guilty for what happened yesterday. I'm not angry at you." I tried to persuade him, even if I knew from the start that it wouldn't work. "...I'm sorry." He whispered in return and with these three simple words, I knew I had completely and utterly failed. Kratos was shutting himself to me; he was refusing to stay near me in fear of hurting me. What saddened me most was that I didn't know what I could do to reassure him. My words and actions didn't suffice anymore. I sighed at lenght and closed my eyes as my face bore an expression of agony.

"Only... only be careful and come back to me..." I begged him with despair.

I couldn't stop him from meeting with Yggdrasil again. I could only hope he wouldn't destroy him more then he already did...

Kratos didn't answer anything. He softly brushed my hold away and left the apartment quickly. I stayed unmoving for a long time before collapsing on my knees, devoured by my anxiety and regrets. The impression that we had hit rock bottom washed over me...

Wasn't there anything I could do?

The days that followed were gruelling for us both. Every night, Kratos seemed haunted by dreadful nightmares. And when he wasn't sleeping, his face was bearing an expression of suffering and anxiety. I wanted to help him go through this ordeal, to forget what Yggdrasil had done to him and what tormented him so. But I couldn't help him if he wasn't talking to me. And Kratos had completely shut himself to me since then. I was feeling completely worthless, condemned to watch him suffer. And it was killing me.

Yggdrasil would pay. Oh yes. I didn't know yet how, but he would pay for hurting him so much.

* * *

I had only two days left to complete my mission when I saw Liu again. I didn't know if I was happy of this distraction or not. It seemed like the more I thought about Kratos, the more my heart was dying. But I was unable to stop thinking about him. I was really conflicted.

I was nervous when I presented myself to Liu's residence. It was my last chance to learn the more information possible on this man. I hoped I would reach that goal without too much trouble. I was nervous not only because of this but also because of the feelings he bore for me. Even if he said he wouldn't try anything, one can never be too cautious.

Liu welcomed me with the same wide smile as last time. It seemed as if my refusal of an intimate relationship didn't depressed him. He was surely determined in making me change my mind. If it was the case, he would be disappointed.

This time, he made me visit the rest of his mansion. It was really charming and it wouldn't be difficult for me to feel at ease here if I wasn't so nervous. The last room he showed me was his office. My gaze immediately fell on the screen of his computer. If I could have access to it, it would surely help me a lot. Liu closed the door behind us and made for his desk. "I hope you remember the gift I mentioned last time?" He asked on a cheerful tone. My face immediately showed my uneasiness. "No, really, you don't have to..." The idea of receiving a gift from a stranger wasn't appealing to me. It was just... strange.

Liu opened a drawer of his desk and took out a small and black briefcase that he put down on the desk. "I insist. At least, look at it before refusing." He said on a soft tone and I felt myself approach the desk despite myself as my curiosity won over my rational side. I opened slowly the cover and stayed speechless in front of its contents. It was a Mauser Red9 C96, a German semi-automatic pistol . But once again, my knowledge in the weapons field enabled me to see the subtle differences with the original model. The barrel of the weapon was longer by several millimetres and the hold was softer. This one was also from a chinese manufacture. My fingers touched the cold metal of the barrel.

A weapon like this one wasn't cheap, there was no doubt about it. And he was giving it to me? Liu seemed to read into my thoughts. He came closer to me and his hand caressed my neck. A shiver ran through me and I unconsciously tilted my head, leaving him more space. "There's nothing too expensive for you, Sano." He whispered with a sincere voice. But even if he was really thinking it, I felt bad accepting such a gift. I turned around until my back leaned against the desk and looked at Liu in the eyes. "I can't accept this gift. It's too much." I protested and Liu seemed thoughtful.

After a short while, he leaned over me, his hands taking support on the desk on each side of my hips, imprisoning me at the same time. A small smile appeared on his lips. "In that case, let's say it could be your payment in exchange for a little favour." At his words, I stiffened and diverted my gaze. "I already said I belonged to someone else." I said with an upset expression. The man laughed softly and lifted my chin to look at my eyes. "Don't worry, I wasn't thinking about that. I know your feelings are sincere and I would never ask you to cheat your lover. No, I was rather thinking about you becoming my model. I would like to do a painting of you. Never did I saw someone as beautiful as you in my whole life." He admitted his request and I couldn't stop from blushing despite myself.

I thought about his offer. I had nothing to lose by accepting; it would even give me more time to try finding information on the Jiang clan.

"All right, I accept." I said and Liu seemed highly satisfied. "I'm happy to hear it. Would you be ready to begin right now?" He asked and I nodded. "Yes, why not?" He set me free and walked to another door. He turned towards me. "Just give me some minutes. I have to organize my material." I nodded again and saw him open the door to what seemed to be his workshop. He hadn't shown me that room before. He closed the door after him.

Seeing I had some minutes alone, I went to his computer and began a search through its files, searching for anything that could be useful. I was rather surprised he hadn't set a password anywhere. Quickly, I found a promising folder and copied him on a memory key. I wanted to search furthermore, but I heard sounds behind the door to the workshop and quickly closed everything I had opened, returning to the welcome page. I turned away and pretended to look closely at the weapon Liu had given me. The latter opened the door and smiled at me. "Come with me, please." He didn't seem to think something was wrong. If he did, it didn't show.

I did as told and followed him to his workshop. Liu went to fetch a white box while I let my gaze hover over the room. This room was a complete mess. I wondered how he could find what he needed in this. A complete wall was covered with unfinished paintings and drawings. Too lost in the contemplation of these paintings, I didn't see Liu reaching the box to me. I looked at him with surprise. "Open it. I'd like you to wear it for the painting." He told me with a soft voice. I lifted the cover of the box and my fingers touched the coloured and silky fabric of a kimono. I delicately took it out of the box to admire it. It had white and blue sky shaded tones and black sakura flowers were embroidered on the fabric. "It's... magnificent." I said without letting my gaze falter from the kimono. Liu put a hand on my shoulder and turned me around to face a screen standing in one corner of the room. "Try it, then." He said and I nodded.

Once on the other side of the screen, I removed my clothes and put on the kimono. When I presented myself to Liu, it was purely a gaze of admiration that dropped on me. Liu went to me slowly. "It really suits you. You're even more beautiful and desirable." He assured me before guiding me to the centre of the room where a luxurious black sofa awaited. Liu untied my hair softly, letting them fall freely on my shoulders. "I'll let you settle like you feel the more at ease." He said softly. I did as told, not feeling comfortable doing this. I had never done that kind of thing before. I laid on my side on the sofa, folding my legs a little and putting my arm on the arm of the sofa. My head laid on my arm and I looked at Liu with a questioning look. The man came closer and looked at me pensively for a moment.

Soon, he leaned over me and arranged some details. He raised the end of the kimono to expose more of my legs. He exposed one my shoulders and moved my hair until they were placed as he wanted. He backed away a few steps and a smile appeared on his lips. "It's perfect. I couldn't expect better." He said before going to sit behind a blank chart. Taking a pencil, he looked pensively at me. I stayed as motionless as I could, staring at some point on the wall behind him. I didn't see him frown and when he talked, his question disconcerted me. "Why are you so nostalgic?" I lifted my head and looked at him, confused. "I'm not... nostalgic. What's making you think that?" I said with difficulty. A small smile stretched my interlocutor's lips.

"Have you already paid attention to the body language, Sano? If one is really observant, he can know someone without ever having talked to him. The gestures of the body are worth more than words could ever be." He explained while looking intensely at me. I answered nothing, silently encouraging him to continue. "For example, when you entered my mansion, the fact that your eyes were constantly moving from right to left without looking too long at me taught me you are nervous in my presence. Furthermore, the way your shoulders were curved even the least bit tells me you are tormented by something. And just before I asked you this question, your pupils had moved to the left, meaning you were thinking about the past, about what happened that saddens you so. And the fact they aren't looking at the right means you refuse to think about the future, that you're scared to know what might happen." He had whispered these words with an unfaltering conviction.

And everything he said was true. I bit my lip, unable to divert my gaze from Liu's inquiring eyes. He had a melancholic smile. "And the fact you're biting your lip right now tells me your are afraid to see how much your soul is bare in front of me, how everything I just said was true." He finished and I closed my eyes, trying to stop him from seeing furthermore into my soul. I couldn't believe he was able to see this much with so little. His power of observation was really frightening. It was true I was constantly thinking about Kratos, about our relation, about what Yggdrasil had done to him. And I was afraid to know what the future had in store for us. Because it couldn't possibly be anything other than more suffering. I knew it, thus the reason why I stayed turned towards the past, towards the few happy moments we had shared together through all that pain and suffering.

I opened my eyes, but this time I didn't try to hide the sadness that was devouring me. "How do you manage to be so observant?" I asked weakly. Liu looked at me for a long while without answering. Finally, he began to draw on his painting. "My father brought me up in a rough manner. My mother died soon after giving birth to me. As long as I can remember, he had always been part of the chinese mafia. He had little time to give me as he spent it with his many clients. And in the rare moments he was giving me attention, it was to train me to follow his footsteps. I had to listen to him and never interrupt him, at the risk of receiving a severe punishment." As he was talking, my gaze softened. It seemed like he didn't have an easy childhood. "So I was a withdrawn child, who never talked, but observed a lot around him. I think that was how I developed my observational skill. The more time passed, the more it was easy for me to figure out the mood of the people around me, to notice all these little details that taught me what everyone was truly thinking." Liu's gaze became tinged with sadness.

"You never wanted to follow into your father's footsteps, isn't it?" I asked him while already knowing the answer. He put down his pencil and sighed. "No. I always wanted to become a professional painter. But it's not like I could just cut off all my ties with my father's mafia. Well, that's not entirely true. I could, but if I did, I would have no way to stop my father." I was confused by his words. Stop his father? What did he... "My father is fundamentally bad. Nothing can change that. He's eager for money and doesn't care about the means he uses to achieve it. In China, before I became the leader of his business, I discovered he was selling weapons to two street gangs competing with each other. They were constantly killing each other in plain daylight in Shangai's busy streets. These two gangs were paying an extremely high price to obtain his modified weapons. My father was fuelling the bloodshed and he didn't care about it. I was disgusted by this. This was what pushed me to accept becoming the head of the organization. That way, I can keep an eye on him and prevent him on selling weapons to the wrong people. I only sell them to the collectors. I don't think I could put up with the knowledge the weapons I make and sell are taking the lives of innocent people." His confession baffled me. I never would have thought his motivation for being in the chinese mafia were so pure. And strangely, I knew he wasn't lying. He was... a good man. He was sacrificing his dream to stop useless slaughter. I was sincerely touched by it. A sincere smile appeared on my lips. "You are kind. It's rare to meet men like you among the mafia." I said honestly. Liu answered me with a smile of his own. "Thank you. Okay, enough talking, how about we get down to the task at hand?" He said with amusement and I leaned my head on my arm again, letting him continue his work.

When I arrived at home, I immediately looked at the folder I had copied on Liu's computer. When I looked over the files, I was happy to see he hadn't lied to me. There was nothing inside it, apart from the names of his clients and the transactions he was doing with them. Most of them were people well known in their field of expertise, and with more money than they know what to do with it. The perfect profile for a collector. But it was everything there was to see. Yggdrasil had no reason to be cautious around them. Well, around Jiang Liu. His father was another story, even if Liu was quelling his ardour.

In any case, he wasn't trying to take control of Japan's black market. Yggdrasil had nothing to fear from them as long as Liu was at the head of the organization.

* * *

I went to Yggdrasil's office the day I had to hand over my report, like it was originally planned. When I saw the yakuza, I struggled with myself not to show the boiling hate I was feeling towards that bastard.

He didn't seem in a good mood. When he saw me enter, he didn't even threw me a biting insult, like he usually does. It didn't bother me. I was even happy to see something was bothering him. I walked to his office and reached my report to him. He took it with an enraged move and looked at it quickly. When he was finished, he lifted skeptical eyes on me.

"That's all?"

"There's nothing more to add. He's not a threat to you." I had won respect towards Liu and I didn't want Yggdrasil to hurt him. Liu wasn't a bad man. Like Kratos, he had been imposed a life he didn't want. Yggdrasil groaned with irritation. "You're not the one to decide!" I bowed respectively. "Please forgive me." I let out in a neutral tone.

Yggdrasil didn't push the subject and I was surprised again. What could have happened for him to be so frustrated? But I had to admit I loved seeing him like that. He leaned over his desk and looked at me with a malicious gaze. "You couldn't arrive at a better time. I have an important mission to give and all my other spies are already busy." I stayed silent, waiting for him to tell me what he had in mind. He searched in his desk and took out some pictures that he threw on the desk. When I took them to look closely, I didn't think I would know these people. But I did. Dorr, the minister of foreign affairs. Yoshihiro Tsubaki, the minister of justice. And Takashi Aito, the minister of economy.

My brain reached a conclusion I didn't like. Not at all. I forced myself to stay calm. I lifted my gaze on Yggdrasil. "Forgive me, but I don't see the link between these three ministers." I lied with a neutral voice. Because I knew where Yggdrasil was going with this. But I wanted to postpone the inevitable. Yggdrasil stood up and his hands banged violently against his desk, making some folders fall on the ground. "It happens that two of these three ministers have avoided the death I had planned for them. And as for the last one, he was arrested by the actions of the same police station." He raged and it took all my strength to prevent the distress of showing on my face as I knew what was coming. The yakuza went on, unrelenting. "And since that minister of security is such an incompetent fool who can't keep them under his control, I have no choice but to take care of them myself. So here is your mission; I want you to infiltrate the police department of Okinawa and that you bring back all the information you can on the police officers there, and particularly on their commissioner. Don't leave anything out, I need to learn everything concerning them, up to the minor detail." His cold and irritated voice stunned me. This time, I didn't know how I managed to keep the colours from draining out of my face.

He... he was asking me to find information on my colleagues and Bryant so he could track them down and kill them! I... I never thought the situation would come down to this. This mission, there was no way I could do it. I could never condemn my friends and superior. I would prefer death over it. Which would surely happen when Yggdrasil would find out about my true identity.

I suddenly felt myself trapped and I felt uneasy. I needed to get out of here; I had to tell Bryant about this mission. I barely heard Yggdrasil when he told me I had one week to fulfill my mission. I wasn't aware I was answering something to him before leaving his office and the headquarters. Once outside and in the security of my car, I took my cellphone and composed Bryant's number with a shaking hand. When he finally answered, it took me a short while before finding the strength to talk.

"Bryant, it's Yuan. I... I need to talk to you, but not here." I began with a shaking voice. Bryant caught the panic in my voice.

"Calm down. I don't know what's happening, but it won't serve you to panic, hear me? Okay, I've got some things to take care of before going home. Come see me in an hour. There's also something I need to talk to you about." Even if Bryant was trying to calm me, his last sentence had the opposite effect. Something he needed to tell me... He must have taken his decision concerning my transfer. My heart stopped beating for a split moment. "Yuan? Yuan, are you listening to me?" Bryant's worried voice reached me and I brutally came down to my senses. "Hum, yes. I'll see you later." I whispered before hanging up.

I suddenly regretted calling Bryant. Instead of lightening my heart of it's burden, it only weighed it down.

* * *

I arrived at Bryant's home with my heart stained with apprehension. I was scared to know his verdict. Because I knew it was the topic he wanted to talk to me about. I just knew. I knocked on the front door and Bryant soon opened it, his face deadly serious. It only stressed me out more. He invited me in and I followed him to the lounge. For the first time since I knew Bryant, his home seemed suddenly atrociously empty and unwelcoming... It was probably the result of my state of mind. He sat on the sofa and motioned me to do the same. I did as told, feeling highly uncomfortable. The silence of the house plagued me again.

"Alicia isn't here?" I enquired softly and Bryant shook his head. "No, she's out to do some errands. She'll be back in an hour or so." He explained without ever letting his gaze falter from me. I didn't have the courage to look him in the eye.

"What did you want to talk about?" My superior enquired firmly and I stiffened at the sole thought of what I had to tell him. But I didn't have a choice, did I? I forced myself to look into his eyes.

"It's about the new mission Yggdrasil gave me." I began on a serious tone. Bryant didn't blink. He folded his arms and silently motioned me to continue.

"Okay. Yggdrasil told me he was controlling the minister of security. Because of this, many police departments are corrupted, but some still resist. Our department is one of them." I explained slowly and could see anxiety make its way on Bryant's face when he learned the minister of security was corrupted. And I understood him. It wasn't a reassuring news. I continued, feeling I wouldn't have the strength to say everything I needed to say otherwise.

"Our department is the one closest to Yggdrasil's headquarters and we ruined his plans several times now. But he's had enough. He ordered me to... to find the more information possible on you and all the other police officers of the department. Where they live, their frequenting, their hobbies, everything that can prove useful to him. He probably wants to get rid of every last one of us." At the end, I could barely control the shaking of my voice.

I already knew I couldn't complete that mission; it was impossible. But I at least had to tell Bryant about it. I had no choice. He had to know the danger that hovered above us. A heavy silence came between us. I had diverted my gaze, unable to support his for much longer.

"And what do you intend to do with this mission?" His voice finally broke the silence. But it only alarmed me more. He was too calm after hearing such news. I clenched my fists on my thighs.

"You know I won't do it! How could I, when I would send you to your death? Not to mention my colleagues and myself!" I exclaimed as an expression of agony showed on my features.

Bryant stood up without a word and paced up and down the room, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Even if you don't do it, even if you refuse to do it, it's obvious Yggdrasil will not let the matter go so easily. He'll put another spy on this case. And consequently, he'll end up learning about your existence as a police officer." He thought aloud and hearing it only deepened my distress. Yes. Sooner or later, he would learn about my real identity. There was so many ways for Yggdrasil to uncover the deception if he put one of his spies on the police's department case. But what could I possibly do? I got the impression that an atrocious countdown had been set in motion, one that would determine the hour of my death. Bryant's voice pulled me out of my thoughts again.

"But this situation only strengthens my decision." He turned to face me and an icy cold filled me. I clenched my fists harder, until I felt my nails dig into my flesh. No, he couldn't mean...

"The preparations are already underway. In two weeks, you'll be transfered to Fukushima." He explained simply, his face neutral and calm.

I didn't know how to react for a long moment as I was digesting the news. It was... It was all over! In hardly two weeks, I would have to say goodbye to Kratos, to erase him from my life completely! No, I couldn't accept such a decision! I stood up fast as panic took hold of my features.

"Bryant! You can't do this! I – " I exclaimed, but Bryant cut me off brusquely. "It's enough, Yuan! I understand your feelings, but your life is at risk! It's not the time for silly whims!"

Tears of rage ran on my cheeks. Silly whims? When I'm about to lose the person I love a second time?

"No, you don't understand a thing! I love him! I love him more than everything in the world! What you're asking from me is worse than death!" I replied with a voice shaken by suffering. Bryant groaned and came closer to me. I wasn't expecting what followed. Bryant's hand slapped me across the face with a strength that left my vision dotted with white and almost made me lose my balance. I stroked my swollen cheek and looked at Bryant with surprise. He caught my shoulders and shook me.

"Yuan, come back to your senses, dammit! Think about _his_ feelings for a change! Do you think he would be happy if you sacrificed yourself for him? No, he would surely prefer you to stay safe and _alive_, even if it means to never see you again. As long as you are alive, there's hope!" He scolded me and I stayed completely unmoving, apart from my lower lip that began to shake as I took in his words. "As long as you are alive, there's a chance you might see Aurion again someday. If you have at least a tiny bit of faith in me, you would know I'll throw that bastard Yggdrasil in jail, even if it takes me years to achieve it. I'll not let your efforts be in vain." He added on a softer tone. Now, the tears that were rolling freely along my cheeks weren't of rage, but of acceptation of my fate and hate for myself. I was so selfish! I had never considered Kratos' feelings. I was ready to sacrifice my life for him even though it was surely the last thing he wanted.

Bryant was right. I had only one solution; erase every trace of my existence and begin a "new life" elsewhere, in another department on the other side of the country where it would be impossible to retrace me. But even though I accepted that solution, it didn't mean I didn't hated it.

Then, Bryant made a gesture I would never have expected. Feeling my plight, he took me in a strong embrace, putting his chin on top of my head. My eyes widened in astonishment. He had never ever acted in that manner with me.

"I too don't like the idea to see you getting far away, Yuan. You know how much I hold you dear. You are the little brother I never had. I won't be able to see you either until Yggdrasil is out of the way. Only thinking about it hurts me." He whispered these words with so much sincerity. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down, but it was more and more difficult as Bryant's words were only deepening my sadness. "And I don't like to admit it, but Aurion is surely thinking the same thing. He surely knows it's the only way to protect you. At the rate things are progressing, you'll soon become a target for Yggdrasil. But it doesn't stop me from thinking Aurion should stay far away from you."

I lifted my face stained with tears towards him and threw him an outraged gaze. "Bryant, I already told you that – " I began on an outraged tone, but he cut me off. "I know your feelings are real, and I'm not saying this to mock you. I'm saying this because you know what fate awaits him once Yggdrasil will finally fall. I just want to avoid you a great deception." He explained slowly and I wanted to protest, but I knew it wouldn't change a thing. I didn't have the power to make Kratos avoid prison.

One way or another, it seemed inevitable I would lose him. I gripped the fabric of Bryant's shirt and let out a long sigh of tiredness. "Why are you always so hard on me?" I asked out loud, not having the strength anymore to fight my fate. But I wanted to know why he was always hurting me with his words. Bryant also sighed and one of his hands went behind my head, pulling me closer to his chest. This intimacy with my superior, no matter how strange it was, was also putting me at ease. "I'm hard on you because I know you can take my words head on and overcome them. Because it's the only way to make you move forward. I believe in you, Yuan. I always did." I had nothing to answer to that. I closed my eyes and let go of my sadness in Bryant's arms.

I stayed a long time at Bryant's house, only leaving him when Alicia came back. I returned at the apartment and as soon as I passed the doorstep, a deathly silence welcomed me. It was surely the reflection of the gaping emptiness that was devouring my soul. I knew Kratos wouldn't be home for a while, and I surprised myself in thinking it wasn't a bad thing. I didn't want him to see me like this, in that state. He had more than enough worries right now, he didn't need me to add anymore to the list.

Entering the bathroom, I washed my face, but even thought the traces of tears had disappeared, I looked as tired as hell. I left the bathroom and entered the kitchen to fetch a glass of water. My gaze fell on Kratos' coat, draped over a chair. Without really thinking about what I was doing, I delicately took it in my hands and moved backwards until my back hit the wall. I let myself slide to the ground. I closed my eyes and kept his coat close to my heart.

_"Here is the address of my apartment and my phone number. If you ever want to talk to someone or need a place to sleep, don't hesitate." I proposed him on a firm tone._

_"Wait! You forgot your coat!" His strong voice reached to me clearly._

_"Keep it. It will give you an excuse to come see me!"_

It had been our first meeting. That fateful day, the 14th of Mars. When everything had begun. It seemed almost surreal when I thought about the fact we were mere strangers two months ago. In only two months, my life had been completely twisted into the hands of destiny. I leaned my head on the wall as other memories flowed into my mind.

"_I will help you. I understand what you must have felt and I also understand that this man must pay for all he has done. It's my job to arrest him to put an end to this cycle of pain, to stop him to commit any other crime."_

_A sigh of relief passed through Kratos' lips. "Thank you. I promise you I will give myself in at the same time as Yggdrasil."_

"_Oh, that won't be necessary." _

"_Wh-what? B-but why?"_

"_Simply by listening to you, I understand that you're not amongst the yakuza by choice, am I right? I consider that your efforts right now are your mean to repent for what you have done. That's why I will not arrest you."_

I still remembered the expression he was bearing when I had said that. Thinking about it, it had been the only time I had seen him cry, if I didn't count what happened several days ago. I preferred not to think about it. I didn't want to get into another dark rage.

"_Why are you acting like this? You don't trust me? Maybe you don't think I can defend myself?" I asked him, awaiting a truthful answer._

"_It's not that. This world is a lot more brutal than you can imagine, Yuan." He whispered in a downcast voice._

"_I know it, but I must do it, no matter what I have to endure to stop the murderer of your family." I replied in a firm tone, but softer than before._

"_Yuan, please understand… I don't want anyone else dying because of me."_

"_And I don't want that bastard to get away after what he did to your family."_

Since the beginning, I should have listened to Kratos, I should have had regard for his feelings. But I didn't. And I now found myself with only one choice; going far away from here or dying. Never did I thought about what _he_ wanted. A bitter smile decorated my lips as I realized how stupid I had been. And still was.

"_There! I just made a promise to Anna that I would take good care of you!" I exclaimed quite simply with an amused smile._

"_You're certain of that? I kind of got the impression that since I came to your home, I'm the one who's taking care of you."Kratos declared with humour and I was quickly offended. "Excuse me?" I exclaimed while looking daggers at him._

"_I'm simply saying that seeing your expression while eating a simple curry yesterday was enough to tell me you surely don't eat properly often." He pointed out with exactitude. _

"_It's not… I mean… Well…"_

This time, my smile became warmer as I recalled all these moments when we had teased each other like this. It took me a long time before understanding how he was already so important to my eyes, how much his presence was warming up my days.

_Suddenly, Kratos' arms wrapped themselves around my waist and he pulled me gently near him. My eyes widened in shock. _

"_Kratos!" I whispered, breath shortened._

"_I'll do my best..." He replied with a trembling voice._

"_I believe... you're managing pretty well..." I teased while laughing lightly._

"_I missed you Yuan... This week has been unbearable without you." He whispered in my ear, which caused shivers running down my spine._

"_I missed you as well..."_

I remembered the first time Kratos had held me close to his heart. That moment would stay burned into my mind forever, like many others. I hadn't been able to recognize the powerful feeling that had engulfed me that time, nor did I know the reason for the impression a part of me had been torn apart from me when I had been separated from him. And I was on the verge to be definitely separated from him.

"_Must I remind you that sleeping is necessary for your health?" Kratos scolded me and I became irritated at his habit of lecturing me._

"_I don't need you to remind me, thank you!" I retorted, a defying light in my eyes._

"_Then stop acting like a child and go to sleep. What you are doing can wait tomorrow." Kratos replied calmly._

"_..." I kept silent and I soon saw him sigh._

"_Yuan, don't make me bring you to your room by force." He warned me with seriousness._

"_Make me..." I dared him, my gaze darkening in anger._

"_Too bad! I'm stronger than you are." He taunted me and started forward towards the room._

"_Put me down, you cold hearted man!"_

My hands clutched Kratos' coat harder. While thinking back on it, it was true I was acting like a child sometimes. I never really took the time to take care of myself before Kratos' appearance in my life, and it was probably why his protecting attitude had annoyed me a lot. But when I thought it was his way of worrying about me, I didn't really have the heart to be really angry at him.

"_Go on, you can laugh. I know it must be funny."_

"_N-no, not at all, you're really... beautiful!" He exclaimed spontaneously and it only got me outraged._

"_This is not a compliment!" I fulminated, my gaze darkening._

"_Please, don't take it that way! I only meant that you could deceive anyone." He added and it didn't appease my anger._

"_... You're only making things worse for yourself." I said in a menacing tone and Kratos seemed to see I was on the verge of exploding._

"_... Sorry. I can't help it."_

I could never forget that famous evening when I had to disguise as a women so Kratos could enter a partner-swapping club. At the time, I thought he was mocking me. But when I thought back on it, it was really an expression of admiration I had seen on his face. I was still ashamed of this evening, even now. But in a way, it had been worth it. I had been flattered to see how possessive he was towards me.

"_Yuan, it isn't reasonable. You're not feeling well right now and I already told you my conditions will not change." He explained calmly, which didn't stop me from getting angry. "I don't understand. You said you love me, but you refuse to touch me! Don't you see you're not protecting me more that way?" _

"_Yuan –" He began but I stood up rapidly and got away from the bed, ignoring the pain that ran through my back in the same time. _

"_Then why did you have a relation with Anna? Why are you refusing me what you granted to her?" I let out despite myself and barely contained the tears of rage that threatened to roll down my cheeks. _

"_I understand your anger, but try to understand me! I did a mistake with Anna. I should never have gotten intimate with her like I did, and I don't intend to do the same mistake again."_

Since that time, I had only tried one more time to make Kratos give up his conditions and push our relationship the next step, without ever being too insistent. I thought we would have time, I thought I could be patient and wait for Yggdrasil to be imprisoned, giving him no more reasons to keep me away... But it seemed like nothing was going like I would have wanted. In two weeks, I would go away, without ever having the chance to consume our love. And even if I kept asking him time and time again, he would probably not give up to my request. My heart clenched in pain at that thought.

"_Kratos, am I only a replacement? Is it because I resemble strongly Anna that you..." I didn't dare finish, but he still understood clearly and his eyes widened in stupefaction._

"_I will be honest." He finally answered. "When you welcomed me here for the first time, you acted exactly like Anna had done when I met her. I think that it is a part of the reason why I was attracted to you from the start."_

"_You didn't let me finish." He said softly and put a finger under my chin to lift my face gently towards his, causing our eyes to meet. "That's why I was attracted to you, but only in the beginning. I learned to know you since then, Yuan, and you're far from being like Anna. You have an unpredictable temper, which, I think, makes your charm. You have an unbreakable determination, a want to do justice around you no matter the cost. And you gave me a second chance, even if you could have not done it. That, I doubt Anna would have done."_

I buried my face in Kratos' coat, breathing in his characteristic and intoxicating smell. It was so unfair. Every word he said was making me melt and desire him even more, while knowing I couldn't touch him like I would like.

"_...Why can't we seem to get along? Why are we always fighting with each other?" I whispered as my lips drew a sad and bitter smile._

"_If only you didn't act unconsciously like that. Seeing you putting yourself in danger like that is driving me insane." He admitted honestly and I immediately felt bad about it. _

"_I said before that I didn't fear danger. Not because I don't realize it, but because I would die for you, if need be."_

"_And you think I would be happy to see you die for me? I don't want to hear you say such things anymore, you hear me?" He scolded me on a tone both low and dead serious. _

"_But that's really what I feel. I..." I stopped as I was unable to say the words that were burning my tongue. _

"_I was afraid, you know. I was so scared to lose you."_

A moan of distress passed my lips despite myself. In my selfishness, I hurt him so much! How could I have acted so stupidly? I realized, as regrets and remorse ate away at me, that I had deserved everything that had befallen on me. At least, if I disappeared from his life, I wouldn't hurt Kratos anymore... And he would be able to start a new life once Yggdrasil would be out of the way...

"_I love you, Yuan, that's all that matters. This investigation is important for me, but never as much as you are."_

But he would never let me go. If I told him about Bryant's decision, he would never let me go, I knew it. He would fight against the inevitable. Should I tell him, in that case? Or was it better if I disappeared without a goodbye, without a chance to apologize for all the wrongs I did him?

As my memories had been replaying in my tortured mind, I hadn't noticed my tears had began to run freely again. I lifted a shaking hand to my cheek, only to see the salted moisture glisten on my fingers when I removed it. I didn't know I still had tears to shed. I hid my face in Kratos' coat, not caring about what he would think if he saw his coat soaked by my tears.

In two weeks, our story would met its end. In two weeks, I would never again see his smile so rare but so warm, I would never again hear this deep voice that gave me shivers, I would never again feel the heat and security his arms were giving me...

In two weeks, I would lose my heart completely and for good. And I know that nothing I could try would prevent our separation. I was totally powerless, unable to stop the inevitable.

And I was anxious of so many things! What would happen to Kratos after my departure? I didn't want to leave him alone with Yggdrasil! And Bryant? Would Yggdrasil find the information he needed on him? Not to mention Botta. No one could know how Yggdrasil would react at my "death". I hoped he wouldn't take it out on my friend. I would never forgive myself if he did.

I didn't want to leave far away, I didn't want to be separated from everyone I loved! And still... I had to resign myself.

There was only one thing I could possibly do; take full advantage of the last moments I had near them.

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **I hope you liked this chapter. (Well, those who like angst must be pleased right now XD) You must have noticed the end is coming fast for our two heroes, no matter what the outcome will be. It won't be too long now.

I sincerely want to thank everyone who read us since the very beginning and who waited patiently for the chapters we added with an atrocious lateness. Your support is very important for us!

On this, I'll say goodbye and I'll see you in two chapters! :)


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **First of all, we are really sorry for the long wait... I would understand if some of you were mad at us. But were back now with yet another chapter! To those of you that are still with us, we thank you for your patience and hope you'll like it!

I won't keep you any longer. On with the chapter! :)

* * *

**Chapter 21**

I wasn't feeling well this morning. It felt like my head was spinning and I couldn't manage to walk straight, but I was tired as hell and it could have been simply my imagination at work. I didn't get to sleep decently since... since... I didn't dare think about it, as it frightened me more and more. _He _was haunting my every thought, never leaving me alone, no matter it be in my real life or my dreams – or rather nightmares. I felt defenseless; I felt like a weakling, but I couldn't help it. My body was shaking on its own at _his _simple thought. And seeing him was even worse. I wanted to flee, to run away and never see him again. He could repeat what he had done to me whenever he wanted. Besides, he had tried to several times already. But I had managed to get away from the worst every time thanks to some miracle. I was grateful for that.

A wave of nausea overwhelmed me and I had to stop walking to prevent myself from emptying my stomach's contents. I barely ate lately and I at least wanted to keep the little I managed to swallow. Clinging onto the wall, I breathed heavily to regain my calm. Keeping on panicking couldn't be good for my health. However, the unceasing pictures that where harassing me weren't helping me to calm down. I had to think of something else... but of what exactly? I had nothing left to reassure me. Even thinking about Yuan was freaking me out. I had almost raped him. I deserved him less and less.

"What's wrong, Kratos?" A sugary voice asked too close to my liking and I startled violently, thinking it was Yggdrasil. I was a bit relieved when I saw the surprised and mocking smile of Zelos, who was staring at me. I never would have thought that seeing the teenager could put me at ease one day. I put a hand on my heart to calm its beating and remembered I had to bow before him. "Nothing important." I answered while avoiding his gaze. I hated feeling inferior to this idiot, but for now, it was the least of my worries. For now, he was giving me a certain distraction. "What can I do for you?" I asked, overlooking the pain that throbbed in my head after my jolt. Zelos grinned. "Oh, I don't need anything. It's just that Yggdrasil sent me to get you." He seemed to await impatiently my reaction with a satisfied expression. I felt myself turn pale and nausea returned stronger than before. It took me a superhuman effort this time to quell my stomach. "I see. I better go, in that case. Have a good day." And on that note, I walked in the direction in which Zelos had surely arrived, apprehending my arrival at Yggdrasil's office with each passing second. My mind was screaming at me to run away, but my legs refused to obey, still walking in the same direction. I felt myself unable to disobey my superior. He had succeeded in making me "faithful" to him, like he had so desired.

I arrived in front of the office and it took me a long while before knocking softly on the wood and entering without waiting for an answer. I knew Yggdrasil was waiting for me inside anyway. When he saw me, the latter threw me a wide smile which I had rarely seen. What could possibly make him so happy? Lately, he was always furious by my attitude, furious because I was constantly avoiding him. Why was he suddenly so happy? To be honest, I think I didn't want to know.

"Ah, Kratos! I have such good news to tell you!" He exclaimed as I walked forward a little, however keeping my distance. I wanted to stay far away from him, if possible.

My head was riveted on the floor as I avoided his gaze. "Good news?" I was sure that sort of thing didn't have the same meaning for me. So I was expecting to hear something that wouldn't be pleasant for me. Unfortunately, I was right. "I told everyone that we were together now." He exclaimed happily as he closed the distance between us and circled my neck with his frail arms. I tensed at his touch and I felt my face take a horrified expression at the news. "What? You did what?" I asked, feeling my face lose the few colors it got left. How could he? It was completely false! I didn't love him, and I never would! Especially after what he did to me.

If Yuan came to learn of it... how would he react? He would probably hate me for good this time. I felt my headache return tenfold and I stopped myself from grimacing as I tried to shake Yggdrasil off me. The expression of the latter changed from happiness to annoyance. "Is there a problem, Kratos?" He asked on a threatening tone as he clung to me more so I couldn't escape. "Must I remind you again who you belong to?" Suddenly, one of his hands went lower and grabbed my crotch. "You didn't get enough last time? You just had to tell me! I can take you again anytime!" This time, I forcefully pushed him away and backed away until my back hit the wall behind me. My breathing was short and my body shook all over. I didn't want him to touch me; I didn't want to see him anymore!

My gaze fell to the ground again, making me miss his irritated expression. "N-no, I understood last time." I answered no louder than a whisper. "I understand I belong to you." These words were killing me, but they were true. Yggdrasil had absolute control over me. I was too scared of him now to try disobeying him.

He had a mocking smile as he got close to me again. "Here are words I like to hear." Suddenly, his lips caught mine in a fiery kiss, inserting his tongue in my mouth without my consent. His hands were now on my hips, gripping them painfully as he kept me against the wall. Usually, I could push him away easily, but I felt strangely weak today and fear was nailing me to the ground. I was nothing more than a weakling.

"Lord Yggdras – " Someone had just entered and I realised with fright that I had forgotten to close the door. I didn't want anyone to see us like this! Especially if it was... I lifted my eyes on the person who had frozen while seeing us in that position. My eyes widened when I saw it was none other than Yuan. What was he doing here? Why now? What should I do? He would be mad at me forever now! Not only that, but he could easily commit something rash. Which I couldn't permit. I couldn't let him get involved in this situation and suffer deep consequences.

Yggdrasil finally decided to broke our kiss, but he kept leaning against me as he turned his head towards Yuan, a mocking smile on his lips. "Ah, Sano! Is there a problem?" He asked casually, laying his head in the hollow of my neck. I clearly saw Yuan was refraining himself from jumping at his throat and was fighting with himself to keep an unfazed expression. I knew him very well after all. "No, not at all." Was his short and dry answer, which made Yggdrasil smile even more. "I'm relieved! After all, I wouldn't want you to be against our relationship." He said with a voice filled with false sadness. "Especially since Kratos agreed to be mine with so much fervor! Imagine how happy I am!" What? I never agreed to that folly! Never ever would I accept to be the lover of that psychopath! Yuan would understand it too, I was sure of it. However, I felt guilty for not being able to deny it. Yggdrasil could do what he wanted with me since that fatal day. He had proved me I belonged to him.

So I avoided both their gazes, whishing fervently I could escape soon. "Well... congratulations to you both." Yuan said on an emotionless tone and I felt his gaze burn me. He was surely mad at me. I had to get away from here, I had to leave before turning completely insane!

Yggdrasil sniggered as he left a kiss on my neck. I tensed right away. "Thank you. You don't know how... important your approval is to me." Our superior mocked him as he threw a look at Yuan that told much about his real feelings. He perfectly knew that there was something between Yuan and me, and he was having a real pleasure trying to break our relationship even more. I hated him, and seeing Yuan's clenched fists, he shared the feeling.

I put my hands on Yggdrasil's shoudlers and pushed him away softly. "I have work to do, Mithos." I said on a low tone, still avoiding looking at him in the eyes. I was about to leave, but Yggdrasil took my arm, turning me around and kissing me again quickly on the lips. With a sardonic smile, he released me and put a hand on my cheek, softly stroking it. "You didn't really think of leaving without properly saying me goodbye?" He asked, his eyes strangely soft, but I made a few steps backwards to get away. "No, of course not. Forgive me." As his gaze darkened at my reaction, I quickly turned my back to him before making my way to the door. I slowed my pace when I was besides Yuan, whispering to make sure only him would hear. "Don't do anything rash." And without a glance, I left the room, wanting to flee the faster I could. I vaguely heard Yggdrasil's irritated and disinterested voice ask Yuan about the progress of his mission, but that was all.

When I arrived at my office, I quickly sat down on my chair as I couldn't stand up anymore. My headache was killing me and my head was spinning too much. I knew I was lacking sleep in the last few days, but no matter what I did, nothing was working; I couldn't manage to sleep well. And God knew how badly I needed it. I wouldn't hold on much longer as things were going.

I sighed and turned my head towards the pile of work that awaited me. If I didn't get down to it now, I wouldn't be finished until late in the evening and I would be forced to stay here. Forced because Yggdrasil would come get me to keep me with him. I had to retain another wave of nausea and a violent shiver ran through my body at this simple thought. I had to finish everything for the end of the afternoon. There was no way I would return to my room. Never again.

My will got the better of my tiredness and I managed to complete my work. I couldn't guarantee it was the best as I had certaintely botched it. But I couldn't take it anymore. My head was hurting so much. All I wanted was to get away from here.

I left the building at the end of the afternoon, ignoring the whispers and the looks that were thrown at me as I left. The news on Yggdrasil and me had rapidly spread around, which wasn't that surprising. But I didn't care. I barely heard them as I was too tired. I felt almost like a zombie and I was sure I looked like one.

* * *

When I arrived to Yuan's apartment, I barely noticed he was already there when I saw his shoes in the entrance. I also heard his steps in the kitchen and he soon appeared in the hallway, beginning to tell me something I didn't understood. He soon stopped while looking closely at me. I must have looked really sick since his expression was now anxious as he joined me. It was at that moment I felt like my head exploded, as if the one who had been pounding into my head suddenly managed to break my skull. I moaned in pain and felt my legs gave way under me, not able to support me anymore. Fortunately, Yuan caught me in time, supporting me. "Kratos! What's going on?" He asked, highly worried. For the first time since a long while, I was honest and weakly shook my head. I suddenly felt something cold against my forehead and shivered when I understood it was Yuan's hand. "You're burning up!" He exclaimed with agitation. "Come on, you have to lie down." And at these words, he softly and carefully guided me to his bedroom before sitting me on the bed. Before he even had the time to lay me down, I collapsed onto the pillows. I had no strength left and the room was spinning too much, even with Yuan's support. My breath short, I closed my eyes, hoping to cease the staggers that made me sick, but even the darkness seemed to sway and I groaned with irritation. I hadn't been sick for years now and it was frustrating me. Why now of all times?

I heard Yuan walk to the desk near the bed before coming back to my side. Soon, I felt his hand in my hair, softly stroking them. "I have to leave to get medicine and some cold-pack. Do you think you can change your clothes yourself?"

"Yeah, don't worry." I answered weakly, too tired to feel embarrassed by the question. I soon felt Yuan's lips press against my forehead. "Okay. I'll be back soon." And he left the room to take care of his errand.

Slowly, I stood up and changed my clothes for my night outfit, taking much more time than usual. Then, I slipped under the covers, shivering despite the warmth they were giving me. I whished Yuan would return soon; my head hurt like hell and I was still scared to go to sleep, afraid to face Yggdrasil again in my nightmares. But despite that, I felt sleep pull me slowly into its clutches. I simply hoped it would be a peaceful sleep this time.

And yet, it was Yggdrasil's cold and sadistic laugh that answered my plea, his icy fingers on my burning flesh. It was my moans which I heard for the hundredth time since the incident, my voice that begged Yggdrasil to give me more despite the protestations of my mind. I could feel his hands travel all over my body, stopping at my most sensitive parts to get sounds of pleasure from me. I could hear his sniggers and his whispers to my ear.

But soon, everything just faded away and was replaced by another image. I was now at the place Yggdrasil was occupying moments ago and Yuan was lying under me. I heard him beg me to stop; I wanted to do it, but my body was acting on it's own. I was abusing his skin without any softness, bitting his flesh violently. And unlike last time, I went on, going lower. I was taking him completely, coldly and forcefully, without any affection. I could see his eyes filled with hate and pain; I was breaking him slowly even as he begged me to stop. I couldn't pull out of him, I couldn't say even one word to apologize and make him understand it wasn't what I wanted. I had no control over myself and Yuan hated me, despised me.

I brusquely awoke when a hand dropped on my shoulder and shook me gently. My eyes met Yuan's worried gaze as he was leaning over me. "You were tossing and turning in your sleep, so I thought it better to wake you." He explained simply before taking a glass of water on the table and offering it to me with two pills in his other hand. I took them weakly before swallowing them with the help of the water. He took the glass back once I was finished. Then, he placed a cold-pack on my forehead and I sighed in contentment as I felt my headache decrease a little bit. It felt good.

"Thanks." I thanked him softly, closing my eyes again to go back to sleep despite my mind's protestations. However, I didn't get the chance to fall back into sleep's abyss as Yuan asked for my attention again. "Kratos?" I weakly opened my eyes to look at him and saw him hesitate, seemingly debating on whether he should talk or not. "What is it?" I urged him on gently as I fought against my want to sleep. "I know you need the sleep, but I think there's something we should talk about before you do." He stopped for a short while before continuing as I threw him a puzzled look. Then I felt Yuan's fingers, which seemed too cold, replace a bang of my hair that was glued to my forehead. "What happened back there with Yggdrasil?" I groaned lightly at the question and closed my eyes with the firm intention of going back to sleep. Everything in order not to answer that question. I didn't want him to hate me once he would know what I had done. "You know perfectly well that I don't want to talk about it." I recalled to him with a point of remorse in my voice. I knew he didn't want to worry anymore, but I didn't have the strength to tell him. Even less right now.

"I'm sorry, Kratos, but I'll insist." He added, still playing with the bangs on my forehead. "You're avoiding me since it happened, you don't even look me in the eye anymore, even if I keep repeating you did nothing wrong. Of course, I can understand it, but it's hurting me. If it had been only that, I could have waited for you to be ready to tell me. But to see you so afraid in front of Yggdrasil to the point of getting sick, that I can't take. Kratos, you don't sleep anymore, you barely eat anything and now, you're confined in bed because of a fever. Do you really believe I want to let you go to sleep with these tormented thoughts? That I want to let you destroy yourself anymore?" It seems I had litteraly hit rock bottom. I was so tired, so haunted that I had never made the link between my sickness and the latest events. Should I tell him in the end? Maybe it would do me good. Could I hope he would forgive me for my unfaithful actions? And without letting me time to think more about it, my mouth opened on its own will to let go of the words I had kept inside for too long a time.

"He had really called me because he was furious about Kvar. He knows I'm giving information to the police and he had called me to tell me this. I was afraid he knew about you, but fortunately, it seems like he doesn't know about your double identity. At least for now." The images were coming back too clearly into my mind and I didn't like it. But now that I had begun, I couldn't stop until the end. The words were coming out freely before I even had the time to think about them. "He then told me it must be his fault for me acting the way I was. Apparently, he gave me too much liberty and I took a taste of it, so he had to re-educate me to make me understand who I vowed fidelity to and who was my master." My lips drew a bitter smile. He had completely succeeded in re-educating me, in the end. I was feeling totally under his hold now. "Kvar is not in jail. Yggdrasil easily managed to get him out. He wasn't about to let go of his most precious spy, after all."

"What?" Yuan seemed outraged and I was surprised to see he didn't know about it. I thought Bryant would have told him.

"Unfortunately, it's the truth. Yggdrasil has that much power." I explained with a twisted smile. "I had to fight him, but he was only a decoy to neutralize me. Yggdrasil brought me to my room, drugged me and... I don't think I need to tell you the rest, right?" I didn't want to say it either. The images were already hard enough to put up with; saying it would only confirm it. After all, I still wanted to keep the tiny hope of it all to have been a nightmare. "The problem is that... he didn't drug me at all. My body has acted on its own, I responded to everything he did to me without any help. He proved me I was nothing more than his toy, that I belonged to him no matter what I tried." I couldn't say those words louder than a whisper as shame washed over me. I covered my eyes with my arms, hoping to hide from Yuan's sight. I didn't want to see his reaction, to see his face filled with pain and disgust. "And I had to let it fall back on you. I almost did to you what Yggdrasil had done to me; I almost did an irreparable damage. I couldn't manage to have the minor control over myself. I'm disgusting."

"Take back those words!"

I jumped and pulled back my arms to look at him. He had a severe expression on his face, even a little irate. "I already told you that if you kept on laying the blame on yourself, I would punch you. I take the fact of depreciating yourself like a good enough reason to hit you too. However, I won't do it because you're sick, but I want you to take back those words. _Now_!"

My eyes widened from the stupefaction as I hadn't expected these words. Then, I slowly nodded, finding nothing more to answer. "I... Alright. I take them back." I said slowly, still dazed by his reaction. Yuan nodded briefly, seemingly satisfied. He sighed softly and went to sit at the head of his bed. He delicatly took my head and put it down on his lap. "How many times must I tell you I'm not angry at you? Nothing happened, I stopped you in time. And it's a normal reaction in front of what happened. You were very upset. In fact, I would have been more surprised if you had kept control of yourself." He explained gently, playing with my hair. I didn't dare look at him as I found nothing to answer.

"How do you know he hasn't drugged you?" He then asked with softness.

"He swallowed a pill like the one he had given me at the start and it didn't have any effect on him. It was only flour. He had given me plain flour." That's it. I could await his rejection any time now. I had reacted to all of Yggdrasil's advances without he needing to give me anything. Anyone wise enough would reject someone as unfaithful as myself.

"Have you already thought about the fact he could have lied to you?"

At his words, I lifted my eyes on him again and saw his serious but benevolent face. Lied? Yggdrasil might have... lied? "Lied?" No, I didn't think about it. Could it be true? Had I only been deceived? I couldn't manage to conclude something from all this. I was far from having clear ideas right now. Yuan did it for me. "Yes, lied to you. Think about it for a while. After having tortured you like this, after having made you his... toy, it couldn't be easier for him to persuade you. You weren't in a state to think logically, so he tricked you in making you think that what you had done was of your own free will. He could then have a better control over you." His words, even spoken softly, were stained with anger towards Yggdrasil. And the more I thought about what Yuan just said, the more I felt stupid. Stupid for not having thought about it before. Stupid for having thought I had really responded to my superior's advances. It was simply impossible since I felt nothing for him besides pure hatred.

"Thanks." I whispered to Yuan's intention. Maybe now, I could begin to free myself from guilt and try to forget what had happened without having the impression of being nothing more than a powerless toy into Yggdrasil's hands. Yuan smiled tenderly at me. "It's nothing. Now, I'll let you go back to sleep. Take a rest while I prepare something light to eat for you." He went to stand up, but I turned on my side to stop him in his movement. "No. I would like you to stay, if you don't mind." I said while gripping one of his legs. The fever had a really weird effect on me.

Yuan chuckled before sighing lowly and sitting down comfortably. "Alright, I'll stay." Now go to sleep!" I smiled sincerely for the first time in days and I let tiredness wash over me, falling quickly asleep.

* * *

I awoke the next morning, and when I opened my eyes, the sun's rays blinded me. I realized Yuan had forgotten to close the curtains and I groaned in annoyance. I tried to hid my face in the pillows, but I soon noticed my pillow wasn't like usual. Rather, it was a leg. Yuan's leg, to be accurate, as I noticed for myself when I lifted my eyes to see him asleep in the same position as yesterday. I remembered yesterday's evening and smiled softly. He had really stayed with me, to the point of falling asleep in an uncomfortable position, because he didn't want to wake me. He was really adorable.

I laughed lowly at that thought, knowing very well that if Yuan heard me say this, he would get angry like an enraged cat. Unfortunately for him, it only made him cuter. It was one of the things I loved the most in him.

The concerned one seemed to hear me since he muttered something in his sleep before opening his eyes in discontent. A scowl took hold of his features as he looked at me. "Why are you laughing?" He asked on a gruff tone that wasn't suiting him and I couldn't stop myself from laughing more at that. However, unlike his usual attitude, it seemed to calm him and seeing me laugh made him smile, rather than angering him further. If we had come down to this, it meant I had been very gloomy lately and it had really worried him. I could feel guilt rise in me, but I repressed it. It wasn't the time; not when I was in such a good mood.

"I see you're feeling better!" He said with sarcasm in his voice, but I could clearly see he was relieved as he tenderly caressed my hair. I nodded and he leaned in to steal a kiss from me, a kiss to which I responded. "The medicine must have taken effect." I said with a smile and Yuan immediately had a haughty expression. "Why don't you just admit it was my taking care of you that helped you!" He exclaimed and I rolled my eyes. "Your treatment? What treatment? You barely did anything." I replied and he quickly looked insulted. "What?" He exclaimed with outrage and I smiled at him, lifting my hand to stroke his cheek. "You know I'm only teasing you." I reassured him and he quickly calmed down with a "Hmph!" still a little outraged. "It better be! I could have done so much more if it hadn't been of _Mister_ here who insisted that I stay with him. So it's _your_ fault." I rolled my eyes again and sighed softly. "Oh, shut up and kiss me instead, you idiot." I earned a murderous look in response, but he still bowed to kiss me again, which pleased me a lot. I had avoided Yuan so much these last few days that I honestly missed his touch.

I looked at the hour on the dial lying on the bed table and groaned softly. I had to get up now if I didn't want to be late for work. But I didn't want to go. I was feeling so good, lying comfortably on Yuan's lap. I wanted to sleep more with the reassuring warmth he was giving me. However, I had to go or Yggdrasil would have my hide. So I sat up in the bed with a long sigh, happy to notice my head wasn't spinning anymore. I got out of bed and went to my clothes to get something to change.

"What do you think you're doing?" I heard Yuan ask me before I had time to choose my clothes. "Change myself. I have to go to work, after all." I suddenly felt that someone was pulling harshly at my shirt from behind and I was forced to follow the movement. "What the hell's gotten into you?" I exclaimed, offended. "It happens I don't want to let you go. You were sick just yesterday and you don't know if you're totally healed. Who knows, maybe by returning there, you'll come back in the same state as yesterday evening! And I don't want that! So today, you'll stay here and rest some more, okay?" I got the impression Yuan was panicking too much, but I was tempted by the idea of taking a day off and rest some more. It had been a long while I had that sort of break and I needed it badly. So without arguing further, I sat back on the bed, gazing into Yuan's surprised eyes. It seemed like the latter had been expecting me to reply. I smiled mockingly at that. "What's the matter?" I asked with a hint of humor in my voice and Yuan shook his head. "No, nothing. I'm just surprised you're not saying anything to escape." I lifted an eyebrow at his words. "Put that way, it sounds like I'm a prisonner." I answered and Yuan sniggered. "Yes. _My _prisonner." He dropped his lips on mine in a longer and deeper kiss thant the previous ones had been and I hummed in pleasure, not wanting him to stop. Unfortunately, he broke the touch after a short moment. "I'll go make you something light to eat for breakfast. I won't be long." And on this, he left the room to enter the kitchen.

I sighed from displeasure as I would have liked him to give me more, but it was better that way. If we went too far, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself, which I wanted to avoid no matter the price. Yuan was too pure for me.

While being already awake and not wanting to lie down without Yuan's warmth against me, I decided to at least put the clothes I wore yesterday into the clothes hamper. When I picked up my jacket, something fell from the inside pocket and I looked at the two cards lying on the ground face down. Perplexed, not remembering having put something into my jacket recently, I took them and turned them around to see what it was. My eyes lighted up at the recalling and I became thoughtful. Was it a good idea? Could I really afford it? After all, Yggdrasil could be mad at me and punish me severely. Despite that right now, it was the least of my worries. What I didn't know, though, was if Yuan would accept. Would it be too long for him? He would surely worry about the reaction of our superior after that. However, with the right arguments, I could surely persuade him. And it would be refreshing for me as it had been such a long time.

I went to sit on the bed, still looking at what I was holding in my hands, debating on if we should do it or not. Yuan took that time to come back in the room with a bowl in his hands. He offered it to me as he was staring at the cards. "What is it?" He asked, trying to see what it was I was holding. I took what he was offering me and saw with a smile that it was rice soup. It hadn't eaten such a light meal in a long time.

I hid the content of the cards in order to prevent Yuan from seeing it. I wanted to keep it a surprise, after all. "Pack your bags for two days. We leave tomorrow." He looked at me with wide eyes. "What? What are you talking about? Where? And why?" I smiled with amusement in front of his reaction. "We need some vacation. Both of us. So I'm taking you with me somewhere. Where exactly, you'll know once we're there." His eyes widened more, if it was even possible. "You're sure? Won't you have problems with Yggdrasil?" He asked me, still uncertain of my decision, maybe thinking I was proposing these vacations on impulse. Which was indeed the case. "I can manage with him. You're already forcing me to stay here for a whole day, so I'm already up for a great deal of problems." I recalled him calmly, not caring about the consequences. I could tell the truth to Yggdrasil, that I had been sick and overlook the fact I had gone away on vacation.

Yuan finally decided to smile before kissing me tenderly as he slid a finger along my neck in a soft caress. "I have to admit that going on vacation with you is very tempting." He said sensuously, which caused shivers to run down my spine. Fortunately, I knew what he was trying to do and I stopped his hand just in time, before he could take the tickets. A mocking smile stretched my lips as I slowly shook my head. "Now now, you don't want to spoil the surprise, don't you? Forget about it; I won't tell you where we are going." His expression became one of boredom when he saw I wasn't playing along, that his charms weren't working on me. In fact, he didn't know that if he pushed me enough, he would easily get what he wanted. I was showing a very, very huge control over myself right now.

To my pleasure, he sighed and backed away, folding his arms on his chest with a pouting expression. "Humph! I'll find a way to make you spill the beans!" I laughed on a low tone before standing up and putting the tickets back where I had found them. "I don't need to tell you it's forbidden to look, right?" I said while sitting back down to begin eating my bowl of soup. Yuan joined me, sitting beside me. "Yeah, I know. Anyway, I'll know it tomorrow, right?" I nodded as my only form of answer. "So I'll wait. I'm capable of waiting, after all." I threw him a look that told a lot about my real thoughts and Yuan looked daggers at me. "I forbid you to say anything!" He warned me with a threatening expression and I laughed again.

I couldn't wait for tomorrow.

* * *

"To Shimane? Why this place?" Yuan asked me as we had just arrived at the airport of the city of Matsue, in the prefecture of Shimane. I smiled as I read the adress of our hotel. It wasn't too far from here; a taxi would do the job. "I wanted to keep the surprise until the evening, but I think you'll understand once we'll be outside." I answered as I opened the front door. Our eyes were immediatly assaulted by the sight of one of the things that made the pride and reputation of Japan; the blossoming cherry trees. Back in Okinawa, the chery blossom time had been two months ago, so we couldn't admire them. At Shimane, we were in the right period. It was the perfect occasion.

I had passed by a tourism agency several weaks ago as I needed to attend a reunion with an important member of the government. While seeing the pictures of the cherry, I couldn't stop myself from entering. The idea of going there with Yuan had rapidly made its way into my mind and refused to leave it, even as I had left the agency. So I had returned later on and on impulse, I had bought the plane tickets. However, the events that had followed had made me forget about their existence. It was fortunate I had come across them by chance!

I turned my head towards Yuan once I had called a taxi and could see his amazed expression. "You brought me here to see the cherry?" I nodded and saw his face litteraly burn up as he diverted his eyes, completely embarrassed. I laughed lightly, amused by his reaction. "What's the matter? You don't like it?" I asked softly and he quickly shook his head. Of course, I knew better; I was beginning to know Yuan very well, after the time I was spending at his side every day. "No, I'm verry happy, don't worry about it." The want to tease him rose in me and I smiled mockingly, taking his chin between my fingers and lifting it so our gazes could meet. "Hmm... I must admit it is indeed the case; you look like a tomato." The red of his cheeks worsened, but not for the same reason this time. His embarrassed gazed transformed into furor. "Oh, shut up, will you?" He exclaimed loudly and I laughed heartedly, letting go of him. "So cute!" I let out and it only worsened his temper. The taxi arrived at that moment and I thanked my luck, because it prevented Yuan from replying more. We entered the taxi and I gave the adress of the hotel to the driver, who started towards our destination.

As I mainly wanted to go see the blossoming cherry this evening, since Matsue was well-known for lighting them up once dakrness engulfed the city, I had dragged Yuan with me to take a walk into the city in the afternoon. In a shopping quarter, to be exact. I reserved the best for tomorrow, if I didn't take the _hanami_ into account.

We had been walking for half an hour now, looking at the people around us and the things displayed on the terraces and I could feel Yuan's gaze burn me. Each time I turned towards him, he avoided my gaze and seemed a little disappointed. I finally understood what was going on; he wanted to cling to me, but was afraid of what the people around us would think. Knowing Yuan and his stubborn nature, he was surely thinking it would embarrass me. Smiling softly, I gently took his hand, entertwining our fingers together. He threw me a surprised look before his lips stretched in a delighted smile, which warmed up my heart. I whished so strongly to see him this happy everyday, I whished so strongly that he hadn't ever known the suffering Yggdrasil had made him go through. He deserved only happiness and I would do everything in my power to make it happen. I didn't want him to suffer anymore.

I chased away those depressive thoughts. It wasn't the time to think about it. We were on vacation and we had to enjoy it. Period.

As we were walking, my gaze was attracted to the window of a shop selling magnificent kimonos made of silk and cotton and with marvelous patterns. An idea immediately came to my mind and I dragged Yuan inside. I finally let go of his hand and began to search through the arrays, feeling the intrigued and curious gaze of my partner on me. It took me a short while before finally seeing something that pleased me: a magnificent yukata made with a black and grey fabric, but flooded with flowers of fire as the petals almost ressembled flames. I couldn't stop thinking a clothe with so many red, orange and yellow would go very well with Yuan's fiery character. He was so passionate when he wanted.

Smiling, I threw the yukata over his head with a grin. "What the..." He began, looking at what I had thrown him and his eyes widened under the surprise and admiration before he lifted them back on me. "Kratos?" He said and I joined him. "Try it! I'm sure it'll suit you perfectly!" He did as told and the saleswoman, who had been looking at us for a while now, guided him to a fitting room. I patiently waited for him to get out, even if it took some time. But it was worth the wait as I was captivated straight away. Such colors were really fitting of Yuan. Even if they were contrasting strongly with the colors of his hair and eyes, it was still magnificent. It was like fire and ice were battling strongly, giving an explosion of magnificent shades.

Yuan came closer before looking at himself in the mirror, a small smile on his lips. "I knew it; it really suits you." I tenderly whispered to his ear and he blushed, obstinately keeping his eyes on his reflection. Then, they fell on the price tag hanging on the sleeve and his smile fell as soon as it had come. He sighed with disappointment. "It might look good on me, but I can't really afford it." He said on the same tone, about to go remove the yukata. I took his arm to stop him. "Don't worry; consider it a gift." His eyes widened before he frowned. "What? No, I can't accept that! Kratos you're already paying for the trip, I can't let you offer me something so expensive above all the rest!" He replied hastily and I rolled my eyes. "Yuan, I don't mind. I _want_ to buy it for you." The expression of my companion didn't fall. And he seemed even more upset. "But you don't need to buy it for me! Anyway, when would I wear it? It's not something I can wear every day!"

"Consider it like my way to repent for the dress." I answered, bringing back the incident of the club to our minds. "And you'll be able to wear it for special occasions or festivals we'll be going together, like this evening." I added. Yuan's upset expression disappeared, but not for acceptation. Rather, he seemed nostalgic, sad even. I frowned and put a hand on his cheek. "Is something wrong? Did I say something I shouldn't have?" He shook his head before smiling at me with a sigh. "No, everything's alright. Okay, you win, if it pleases you so much." He joked with little enthousiasm and I knew he was hiding something from me. But I didn't have the time to ask him what it was since he disappeared into the fitting room to put back his clothes. And when he got out, he had regained his good mood, so I thought I might have imagined it. So I didn't bring back the subject. I payed for the yukata and we went out to resume our walk.

We were now walking into the Vogel park of Matsue. All around us, the cherry blossoms were lighted up, radiating a soft pink light which appeased everyone who saw it. Of course, the park usually closed its doors at the end of the day, but on the _Hanami_, it exceptionally opened at night to welcome the people who wanted to bathe into the beauty of the flowers at the fall of night. Right now, Yuan and me were walking around, searching for a place where we could sit down. There were many families around, but mostly couples. After all, there was nothing more romantic than getting together to look at these trees at the beginning of spring. It was a shame the cherry of Okinawa blossomed so early. Having such a flowering in winter removed some of its charm.

As we were walking, I could sometimes feel Yuan's gaze burn me as he was watching me in the sober yukata I was wearing. I had brought it with me in anticipation of _Hanami_, but it had nothing exceptional. Well adjusted, it was black from the collar to the knees. So I didn't understand how it could please Yuan this much. Him, on the other hand, was another story. He was proudly wearing the new yukata I had bought him and the more I saw it, the more I told myself it was suiting him. The fire flowers were giving him a glowing sparkle, dancing at each step he made. The only thing missing was to see him get angry for nothing so his fiery character could match the colors of his summer kimono. Of course, it gave me the need to tease him to get such a reaction from him, but I held myself back. Not tonight. I wanted to pass the evening without any incident of the sort.

I then noticed I wasn't the only one admring my partner. I had forgotten how much he could captivate people, which was indeed the case right now. Men and women were following him with an appreciative gaze and I scowled at their sight. Yuan seemed oblivious to them, but I prefered not to take chances. I put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close to me, which earned me a questionning look from him. I only answered with a smile, happy to see the gazes who had been following him had turned away, discouraged to see he already belonged to someone else. All the better! Yuan was mine only.

Yuan pointed an empty place under a tree a little isolated from the others and we walked to it. I installed the blanket I had brought with us on the grass and soon, we were sitting comfortably, looking at the soft pink petals falling quietly to the ground. Such a rain was always so magnificent to look at. It was something so appeasing to just take to time to stop and to look at something so simple yet so beautiful falling gracefully to the mother earth. It was something no one really took the time to do these days. Me less than the others. So to be here right now, far away from life's worries and with Yuan by my side, I couldn't possibly ask for more. It was like time had stopped going forward for a short moment, but I would give everything I had for this moment to last forever.

"It's magnificent." Yuan whispered with fascination as he lifted his gaze on me. I laughed softly at the affirmation. "You sound like it's your first time seeing them!" I teased him and Yuan had an embarrassed laugh. "It's not like I have the time to see them each year, with the work I have. After all, I missed Okinawa's last year and the ones before. I think the last time I got to see them, it was with Martel." He explained and I nodded. It was understandable. The police officers were really busy with their work. If Yuan could take the liberty right now, it was because he was working for Yggdrasil right now. "Anyway, I imagine you didn't get to see many too, knowing Yggdrasil." He replied. "You'd be surprised." I said with a dead serious gaze. Yuan looked at me with eyes so wide I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "I'm only joking. No, effectively, Yggdrasil would never take the time to look at cherry petals fall. It would be a waste of his time and I doubt pink would please him." I had a mocking smile and Yuan sighed, shaking his head with despite. "Idiot." He muttered and I lifted an eyebrow at that. I took his chin and lifted his head softly, getting closer to him. "Excuse me? I'm not sure I heard right!" I exclaimed before claiming his lips mockingly. When I let go of him, he was wearing a pouting expression. "I said you were an idiot, you heard it!" This time, I pushed a finger into his cheek while throwing him a sparkling smile – one of these smiles that seemed both so innocent and threatening at the same time. "Could you repeat that again?" I said with a mix of gentleness and sadism as Yuan pushed my hand away from his face. "I said that you were – a ah no! Stop, not there!" He hadn't finished his first sentence that I had pushed a finger into his side, which was the cause for his sudden pleas. Straight away, a malicious light appeared into my eyes, a light he clearly saw and he immediatly tried to protect his sides with his arms, watching my face and hands closely. "Oh no! I forbid you to try anything of the sort!" I sure was not going to let it end here! Seeing his reaction, I knew Yuan was really ticklish! Oh, how amusing it would be! Too bad for the romantism, such situations were too funny to overlook!

A small fight erupted between us as I tried to run my fingers along every spot that could possibly be sensitive as Yuan was trying to protect himself the best he could by pushing me away. Of course, I got the better of him. I was stronger and broader than him.

The fight ended several minutes later as we both fell down and laid on the grass beside each other, out of breath. I couldn't take it anymore for having laughed so much, for having so much fun. It had been years since I had a moment so... peaceful, of laughing for nothing and spending good time just for the purpose of spending good time. I was definitely happy. And Yuan, lying beside me, seemed as happy as I was, just by seeing his wide smile as he regained his breath.

After taking a short time to calm down, I finally spoke. "Are you hungry?" I asked and Yuan nodded. I stood up, smiling at him. "Okay. I'll go get something to eat. I won't be long." And I went away to get some food.

The rest of the evening was spent more peacefully as we looked at the cherry blossoms and the stars sparkling in the sky. It was a night I would always keep in my memory and that I would qualify of magical.

* * *

"Kratos, are you really sure we're not lost?" I heard Yuan's irritated voice behind me for the third time in twenty minutes. But I still kept my calm as I lifted my face from the chart I was holding to smile at him. "Yes, I'm sure. Trust me, I know where we are going." To be honest, I wasn't so sure since a while now. We were supposed to go to a temple on top of the mountain, and to do it, we were supposed to pass by a wood to find a cart track that was supposed to guide us in front of the temple. I was sure we had found the forets since we had walked around one, but we hadn't found the cart track and if I relied on the chart, we were supposed to be there already. We may be lost, but I refused to admit it.

"Then why are we still not there?" He asked dryly, still following me. "And weren't you supposed to have a good sense of direction? I mean, with all the missions you completed for Yggdrasil and his father, I can't believed you infiltrated your ennemies without relying on your sense of direction!" He exclaimed and I sighed softly. Effectively, I was supposed to have a good sense of orientation. And still, it seems like it didn't want to work today. But once again, I wasn't about to admit it to him. "Of course! That's why I'm saying we're not lost! We'll soon be there. Have some patience." I reassured him, whishing we would find that damn car track soon!

It was rather a warm day despite being only spring and I got the impression the burning sun wasn't helping Yuan's mood. But I had to deal with it.

We walked for another half an hour without finding anything. Yuan ended up getting bored and stopped walking. "Okay, now it's enough! Give me that!" He exclaimed and took the chart from my hands, looking at it. "Where are we, exactly?" He asked and as I didn't have an asnwer to give him since I didn't know myself were we where, I stayed silent. Which didn't straighten things out. "I guess you don't have a clue?" I finally decided that lying certainly wasn't the best idea, so I shook my head, vaguely annoyed. I was angry at my sense of direction for having abandonned me for the day. "Great. Really great." Yuan knead the bridge of his nose before sighing at lenght. "I'm still saying we should have taken the _other_ side of the forest when we started off! I knew I should have listened to my intuition." He groaned as he looked at the chart again. "So all we need to do is go through the wood to the other side. I'm sure we'll find that bloody car track!" And without asking for my opinion, he walked to the wood that stretched beside us with the firm intention of entering it. I followed him, wondering if it was really the best solution, thinking it would be best to turn back the way we came. As we walked, Yuan disappeared behind a dense bush that blocked the way – since it seemed to be the only way to carry straight on – and a loud _plouf!_ Was heard. Taken by surprise, I carefully went through the bush and fell face to face with a soaked Yuan, sitting in a high flowing stream with his soaked hair glued to his forehead and holding the chart that was now as drenched as he was. I couldn't stop myself from bursting out laughing at his sight, especially when he scowled. "Oh shut up! Could you help me out instead of making fun of me?" He ordered dryly and I reached a hand to him, still laughing. "Forgive me." I managed to say. "It's just that you were so cute, sitting there like that!" These words earned me a murderous glance and I would have been dead a thousand times if a look could kill. So I decided to change the subject for my own survival. "The water is so clear. And seeing how it flows, the spring shouldn't be far from here. How about we take a look?" I asked and Yuan nodded, still cursing this damn stream that got him drenched all over. At least the day was warm so he wouldn't catch a cold.

We got to walk only a couple of minutes before stumbling on a magnificent scenery. Around us, the trees were separated from each other to make place for a small lake with clear water. The source of the stream. There were several rocks around and inside the water, all covered with a deep green. The ground, on the other side of the lake, rose in a steep slope and was recovered with green creepers bearing muticolor flowers, from withe to a vivid red. And at the center of the creepers loudly fell a sparkling waterfall which water was letting the rocks show right through, making them almost glow. Since the trees were circling the lake, the sun was freely going through and was lighting up the water, making it glow like crystal. It was definitely breathtaking and by seeing Yuan's expression, I knew he thought the same thing. "How about we stay here for a while?" I suggested, still looking at the incredible scenery. My companion agreed and I walked closer to the water-spring, wanting to look closer at it. However, I didn't expect what happened after. Too lost in my contemplation, I didn't see Yuan coming too close to me before quickly pushing me into the water. The lake was deep enough and it was enough to get me completely soaked through with the splashing I made.

Disconcerted, not knowing what had happened, I lifted my eyes on Yuan who had folded his arms on his chest and was looking at me haughtingly. "I'll teach you to make fun of me in my misfortune!" He exclaimed, clearly proud of his revenge. Deciding it was best to laugh than cry about the situation, a mocking smile appeared on my lips as I slowly stood up. I got closer to Yuan, still displaying the same smile and saw his victorious and haughty expression softly fall to transform into hesitation and scepticism. "Oh, so you want to play at that game, huh?" I said with amusement before quickly grabbing his arm. I tried to pull him into the water, but he strongly resisted. "Oh no! There's no way I'm going back in there! Let me go!" He screamed, still resisting, trying to back away and struggle free of my grasp. A malicious light went through my eyes and with my other arm, I took one of his legs to make him lose his balance. Surprised, he let out a distraught exclamation as he fell on me. I caught him in time to prevent him from hurting himself in the fall before throwing him into the water while laughing. He threw me a murderous look as he spit and coughed water. The bang that usually hid half of his face was plastered to it. "You won't get away with this!" He threatened me and a fight ensued between us.

The morning was punctuated with laughs and splashing. We both seemed like children, but once a while, it couldn't do harm. And anyway, it wasn't like someone would stumble upon us. Another reason to do it.

The sun was high in the sky when we stopped fighting as it was near noon. "We better go back if we don't want to push our luck and catch a cold." I said, getting out of the water and offering my hand to Yuan so he could do the same. He agreed and we turned back the way we came, getting out of the wood. We arrived in town much quicker than it took to get to the water-spring.

We took what was left of the afternoon to pack our bags before taking the plane back to Okinawa. Every good thing comes to an end, but it didn't stop us from being disappointed. I promised Yuan we would do it again one day, to at least regain our smiles, but strangely, it seemed to sadden him instead and he avoided my gaze for at least half an hour. What was going on?

The next day had been a brutal return to everyday life. I would have given everything I had not to return to work and to run away with Yuan and never return, so we could live a peaceful life. Unfortunately, it was impossible.

As expected, when I arrived at the headquarters, Yggdrasil let his anger explode on me. Although it was an euphemism. I had rarely seen Yggdrasil that furious. His fists were clenched until his joints had turned withe and his face was red, like he was about to explode any minute now. When I explained the situation to him – that I had been sick to the point of not being able to contact him – he didn't seem to calm down, yelling at me that I still should have called him for him not to worry and so that he could have called a doctor to take care me. Strangely, it must be his way of worrying after learning I had been sick, but personnally, I couldn't care less. As long as he didn't try anything on me or worse, on Yuan, nothing coming from him could phaze me anymore.

* * *

The rest of the week passed by without anything special happening. Strangely, I got the impression Yuan was distancing himself from me, even though it was subtle since he still talked to me and wanted me to believe everything was alright. But I wasn't to be fooled; he wasn't feeling well since we had come back from our vacation, since I told him we could go on another vacation sometime. What was it in these words that made him suffer so much?

I also noticed several things were beginning to disappear from the apartment. At the start, I wasn't giving it too much importance, because only products from the pharmacy were missing, as well as some everyday things. I told myself he might have forgotten to unpack completely his bags. However, when I noticed some dishes were also missing, as well as some blankets and decorations, I began to ask myself questions. What was going on? Where was Yuan putting all those things?

Did... did Bryant finally told him of his decision? Was Yuan going to leave? No, it was completely stupid! Yuan would tell me if he had learned of his superior's decision! He would tell me if he was forced to leave so we could find a solution.

Isn't it?

But seeing all those things that kept on disappearing, I began to doubt.

* * *

"I organized for you the reports I received from your spies. You just have to verify if everything is in order." I said to Yggdrasil while reaching a pile of sheets to him, which he took and looked vaguely at them. "Hum... There shouldn't be a problem. I never needed to correct the work you gave me, after all." He said while putting down the sheets on his desk. He stared at me as he dropped his chin on his entertwined hands. These last days, I wasn't wearing that frightened expression anymore. Of course, I kept my distances as much as possible; I hated him atrociously and the idea that he could do the same thing once more wasn't pleasing me. However, I wasn't shaking anymore at the sound of his voice and I was able to keep my usual stoic attitude, which was a great amelioration.

This new attitude seemed to leave my superior perplexed, like he didn't know how to react. He must be wondering if it was a good thing or not that my impassible mask was back. After all, I didn't seem scared of him anymore, but I was showing as much emotions as before, which could make him think that I had overcomed his punishment and was still unfaithful to him. Really, what a dilemma.

"Very well, I'll lea – "At the same moment, someone knocked on the door behind us and opened it. I turned my head to see who it was and by seeing Yuan enter the office, I simply arched an eyebrow while looking indifferent. Did he have a report to hand over to Yggdrasil? Strangely, now that I thought about it, neither him or Yggdrasil had informed me about the mission. I didn't took the time to ask too as my head had been elsewhere. But the fact that none of them had slipped a word to me about this mission was very weird.

"Ah, Sano! I hope you're bringing good news with you!" Yggdrasil exclaimed as Yuan made a few steps forwards, but still staying in the background. I found his attitude strange. Was it because he feared of angering Yggdrasil if he went to stand beside me?

"I regret to tell you that I could not find anything." Yuan announced and it stunned me. What? He hadn't find anything? But how could it be possible! He could have asked for my help, I surely could have helped him out! While throwing a glance at my superior, I saw he too was shocked. He was surely waiting for good results on Yuan's part, despite his hatred towards him.

He quickly got over the shock and the latter was replaced by anger. He stood up slowly before stationing himself in front of Yuan. He slapped him violently across the face. "You didn't find anything? You _didn't _find anything? Worthless idiot! Is it so hard to find information on lowly police officers? I wasn't asking too much! Only folders, information on each one of them! It was an easy mission I had offered you, pathetic fool! How could you not find anything?" I felt my blood freeze into my veins at the understanding of Yuan's mission. Yggdrasil had asked him to investigate on his own police department. That's why Yuan had failed, he hadn't even tried anything! He couldn't possibly do it as it would have meant betraying himself. And his friends.

"It seems like the department has taken measures against such initiatives." Yuan answered, which earned him another slap. "You dare talk back at me? Have you never learned good manners?" Yggdrasil took a deep breath to calm himself a little. "I trust you know you'll be severely punished for having failed so miserably." He said on a venimous tone. "Kratos!" I froze lightly when I heard my name. This tone of voice only meant one thing and I couldn't possibly disobey. If I refused, Yuan would not only be punished, but also killed afterwards and it wasn't an option I could let happen. So I reluctantly joined Yuan and forced him to his knees, relieved – well... yes and no – that he was being obedient. I didn't want having to fight him to force him to accept the punishment.

Yggdrasil leaned down and took Yuan's chin, turning it from left to right. As for Yuan, he was hiding it well, but I knew that deep down inside, he was staring at our superior with hatred and mistrust. "Bah, I think there might be good in that situation. It will give me the occasion to try the new drug I had prepared." He had a grin as he released Yuan. "It's important to always find some positive in a situation, don't you agree, Sano?" He said nonchalantly as he went to pick up the drug in a drawer. "I had planned to use it on one of the dogs of another company I was holding captive, but you're giving me an even better opportunity!" I quickly understood Yggdrasil didn't care at all that Yuan had failed his mission. He could send Kvar in any time he wanted. All he had hoped was for Yuan to fail one of his missions so he could punish him. I had given him the permission to do it, after all.

Yggdrasil came back to us and he pulled harshly on Yuan's arm. He lifted his sleeve before driving the syringue into his forearm roughly, spilling the liquid into his veins. When I heard Yuan hiss in pain, I gently squeezed his shoulder to give him some of my strength. All would go well, I could stay close to him while pretending to keep him in place and unmoving.

"You can let go of him, Kratos."

Or maybe not. For a split second, I tought about going against his orders, but I knew it wouldn't give anything good, so I let go of Yuan reluctantly, straightening up and backing down slowly. Yggdrasil looked at his spy with insane and impatient eyes. "I can't wait to see the result!" He exclaimed like a child waiting impatiently to see how his new toy was working. I was disgusted. I let my gaze fall on Yuan, anxious to see what reaction he would have to the drug I knew nothing about.

His body suddenly began to shake and his eyes widened with horror as he folded his arms over his chest, painfully gripping his forearms. His shaking rapidly scaled up and he huddled up, like he wanted to reduce something in him I guessed was pain. He bit his lip, trying to stop any sound from passing his lips, but he didn't manage to hold it in for much longer. Soon, his hands went to his head and he screamed all his suffering. It was as if his entire body was in pain, as if every last one of his bones was being crushed. He cried out loudly as tears ran down his cheeks, and I couldn't do anything. My brain yelled at me to rush at his side, to take him in my arms and find a way to take his suffering away. It was screaming at me to ignore Yggdrasil and take him to a hospital were someone could take care of him. But I couldn't do anything; if I moved even one finger to help him, Yggdrasil would kill him. He was too jealous and possessive when it came down to me to let anything happen between Yuan and me.

During that time, my superior was laughing loudly. He was laughing in front of the intense pain Yuan was going through, laughing of his adversity. It was for him a way to get revenge over the relation he suspected him of having with me. He had made me pay recently and now it was Yuan's turn. "So, how is the drug, Sano? Is it painful enough?" And he laughed once more. Suddenly, he pulled on Yuan's hair to lift his head and look at his tear-stained face. His eyes were now glassy and he tried to focus them on Yggdrasil. "S-stop it! It... hurts!" He surely wasn't very lucid right now to beg Yggdrasil in that manner. He was too stubborn to beg anyone usually, even if he was to be violently tortured. Well... that's what I came to know about him.

Or maybe the effects of the drug were beyond what I had imagined and Yuan couldn't take it anymore. I hoped the effects would soon vanish so I could get Yuan quickly out of here.

I was horrified when I saw Yggdrasil take out a second syringue from the drawer of his desk after having let go of Yuan, who fell harshly on the ground, still screaming in agony. "I'm not sure I heard right. You want more?" Yggdrasil asked while laughing maliciously, emptying the second syringue into Yuan's forearm. The latter's screams intensified and he writhed on the floor, his hands clenching hard on his head as his body was trying to find a way to stop the suffering.

I couldn't do anything other than looking at the scene and it was killing we slowly. I felt anger rise in me and my fists clenched behind my back as my want to punch Yggdrasil was growing in me. However, my anger was being subdued by the cold fear that ran throught ny body at the sight of Yuan suffering tremendously. If only I could find a way to help him without taking the chance of him being killed! I would do anything to make it stop!

Finally, the effects of the drug seemed to fade away as Yuan slowly ceased to scream. Yggdrasil's laughs died down at the same time and his face took a bored expression. "Already finished? I don't think so." He was about to go fetch a third one – how many did he have? – but I stopped him this time. "It's enough, Mithos! Do you want to kill him? How many times must I tell you we can't affort to lose him!" I said harshly and Yggdrasil looked daggers at me. "I doubt it would kill him!" He replied on a sulky tone and I sighed dryly, irritated. "You said yourself that you were testing this drug! You don't even know if the amount you gave him is already enough to kill him! So stop it now! You punished him and he understood the lesson. It's enough. You have work to do; you should go back to it instead of playing with him!" I said harshly before getting close to Yuan. I could see that his skin was withe as a specter and I could feel him shake violently under my fingers as his body was torn with spasms. I didn't like it. If he was going to show any more symptoms, it would mean he was going into overdose. It wasn't good, it wasn't good at all! "I'll throw him out of your office before returning to work." These words were killing me, but the fact it was a lie was taking away some of my culpability.

Yggdrasil stopped me by taking my arm. "Are you telling the truth? What is telling me you won't take him somewhere to make him feel better?" He threw at me with suspicion. I had to find a way to for him to let us go fast! I didn't think Yuan would last much longer with that amount of the strong drug into his veins.

An idea dawned into my head and I asked for Yuan's forgiveness a thousand times before acting. Softly, I took Yggdrasil's face between the palms of my hands and put my lips on his own, kissing him with enthusiasm. Iit disgusted me, but if it was the only way to make him trust me, than so be it!

I knew I had smothered an exclamation of surprise with that kiss, but soon I felt my superior answer eagerly. We stayed like this for a while before I broke the contact, smiling softly at him. It was in these moments I thanked my actor skills I had needed to learn at some point of my life. "Do you believe me, now?" I asked gently.

Still under the shock, Yggdrasil could only nod, still not realizing what had just happened. I knew that action would be dripping with consequences for me, but if it could help Yuan,I was ready to do anything. "Good. Then I'll be going back to work." I took Yuan by the collar of his shirt and dragged him out of my superior's office, keeping on mentally asking for his forgiveness for the way I was treating him. And as soon as we were far from the office, I lifted him gently in my arms to look closely at him. His skin wasn't only livid right now, it was turning blue, like his lips. It wasn't surprising; he was so cold!

He wasn't unconscious yet, but his eyes weren't really looking at something. He seemed completely disconnected. His body kept on shaking by itself, despite the fact I was holding him firmly against my chest. I had to make him walk; I had to make sure he wouldn't fall unconscious. I softly put him down and made him stand up, supporting him. "Sano? Sano, do you hear me?" I said to try keeping his attention, hoping he would recognize his false name, which I doubted. "You have to walk, you have to stay with me, okay? Listen to my voice and don't fall asleep, you hear me?" I kept on talking, doing everything I could to keep him conscious. We managed to get out of the headquarters, but we didn't get far away. Despite all my efforts, Yuan lost his footing and his eyes rolled before he collapsed into my arms, losing consciousness. I cursed before taking him back in my arms and running to my car. Unfortunately, I couldn't call an ambulance, it would attract Yggdrasil's attention. I hoped Yuan would hold on until we get to the hospital.

When we arrived at the hospital, Yuan was barely breathing and his trembling had died down except for some rare spasms. I was worrying more and more, but I refused to panic; it would only worsen the situation. I had to control myself for Yuan's sake. However, I needed to hurry. At the rate things were going, he wouldn't last much longer.

That bastard Yggdrasil! Pretending he didn't know the dosage for this new drug, pretending he wouldn't knew of its secondary effects! He had clearly given two dosage to Yuan with the goal of seriously harming his health – and this, in the better scenario. And right now, he was leaning more towards impending death, which my superior wanted greatly. Why did he have to keep going at Yuan?

I quickly burst into the reception hall and a nurse came straight away to meet us with a professional and concerned expression. She looked briefly at the man in my arms before lifting her head in my direction. "What happened to him?" She asked hurriedly, understanding we didn't have time to lose. "A drug overdose." I answered simply and she nodded, having surely guessed it by seeing the symptoms, but wanting to make sure.

I didn't want to talk about the details, fearing I would be suspected of having given him the drug, like last time when the nurse had thought I had hurt him badly. Fortunately, it wasn't the same hospital.

The nurse turned to the secretary and asked her to call a doctor before motionning me to follow her. We quickly made our way down the hallways before arriving to the urgency, where several beds were installed, separated only by simple blue and grey curtains. The young woman motionned a free bed to me and I put Yuan down on it at the same time the doctor, a man in its thirties, was arriving. When he saw the state of his patient, he immediately began to examine him, inserting a needle connected to a pocket of solute into his wrist. "Which drug did he injected himself, exactly?" Asked the man, assuming Yuan had done this to himself. I didn't wonder about why he already knew what was happening to Yuan; either he recognized the symptoms or the secretary told him. "Someone forced it on him." I corrected. "And I doubt you heard about this drug. It has been recently created in the goal of putting someone through the worst suffering and this, mentally. He was given two strong dosage." The doctor stared intently at me with his piercing eyes from above his glasses for a short moment, surely wondering how I could know about such a drug, but he quickly made a gesture of his hand to chase me away. "Very well, I'll do everything in my power to save him. Just go sit down in the waiting room on the other side." I sighed softly, throwing a last anxious gaze in the direction of the man I loved before doing as told, but it was tough for me. I would have prefered to stay with him.

Thirty minutes passed by as I had nothing to do but to sink into my thoughts and worry myself sick. I was so scared, I feared that doctor wouldn't be able to save Yuan as the drug was unknown to him. I didn't want Yuan to die! It would all be my fault if it happened; my fault for letting Yggdrasil do what he wanted, my fault for not having reacted, for not having protected him like I had promised myself. I was nothing more than a coward.

I still didn't have news about Yuan's state when suddenly... "Aurion!" I startled, brutally torn away from my thoughts, and turned around to where that strong voice that called me had come from. I wasn't so surprised to see Bryant walking towards me quickly with a furious expression on his face. The doctor had surely asked that the police be called. Who woudln't have done it? I knew strange and unknown substances and I brought back a man suffering from an overdose. It was really too shady.

I didn't have the time to do a single movement that he was already on me, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt and looking daggers at me. "What did you do to him?" He was almost screaming, shaking me, and I returned his gaze, feeling irritation and anger rise in me. "I believe you're well aware I would never do anything to harm him!" I hissed hatedly. How could he think I had hurt Yuan? Was he that stupid? He was the only precious thing I had, he was my whole world. If I happened to lose him, everything would fall apart! He really believe I had tried to kill him?

"Tch! I know that! What I want to know, is why you didn't help him!" He groaned on a lower tone. "You could have made him avoid this! He wouldn't be between life and death as we are speaking!" He squeezed harder, and even if I wanted to scream at him, I kept my calm. "You're right, he would be dead right now!" I answered with coldness as my voice was deadly serious. Bryant's eyes widened under incomprehension and surprise. "Yggdrasil would do everything to keep me with him, to have me for himself. He's ready to get rid of everything and everyone that would get in his way. For now, he's only _suspecting_ that something's going on between Yuan and me and it's already enough to make us both suffer. If I had lifted even one finger to help him, Yggdrasil would have killed him on the spot! Didn't you already understand that?" I spat out as my anger was being increased by the panic I had felt before. "You think that if I could have done something to help him, I wouldn't have done it? Who are you taking me for! Yuan is the one I love! Seeing him suffer like this is killing me, but it's still better than his death!"

Bryant didn't know what to answer for a while and he released his hold a little bit on my collar. Still, the anger returned, burning in his eyes. "Everything is your fault. You never should have seduced him! It's because of _you_ that he's suffering!" I couldn't stop myself from wincing at his words. I knew more than anyone that he was right, but to hear it from the mouth of Yuan's superior was disgusting me even more. "You should stop seeing him, it would be better for everyone!" I clenched my fists to hear such words, not believing my eyes. "Not only is it impossible because I could never bear it, but have you lost your mind? Yuan kept on telling you again and again that being separated from me was worse than death! Knowing him, he would rather be killed a million times by Yggdrasil rather than being forced apart from me!" I turned my gaze to the door leading to the urgency. "And anyway, it's too late for that. He's nothing more than a nuisance for Yggdrasil. No matter if I saw him or not, he would try to punish him again and again for the affront he commited by getting close to me. The past is already laid out and there's no way to change it. What's done is done." I returned my attention on Bryant who was almost shaking with anger. The latter finally let go of me with a frustrated exclamation, hating the fact I was right.

Silence settled between us for a long while as he was pacing up and down the room, worrying for Yuan as much as I was. He was about to say something when a nurse, the same one than before, opened the door to the urgency and her gaze settled on me. "M. ... Kratos?" She asked softly and I stood up, anxious. "We managed to stabilize him a little, but he's been asking for your presence for a while and he's too restless. Could you help us in calming him down, please?" I immediately agreed, relieved that his state had stabilized, even for a little bit. It meant there was hope!

The nurse went back inside and I was about to follow her. "Why you of all people?" Bryant groaned and I understood what he was implying. Why did Yuan choose me, why did he fall in love with me? I stopped my movements, but I didn't turn around to look at him. "You know, I asked myself the same question for a long time. Then, I told myself it was surely for the same reasons I had chosen him. So I decided to stop wondering about the reason and take advantage of what he is offering me while giving in return. That's what love is. It strikes you at the most unexpected times." I turned my head towards the commissioner and threw him a grin before quickly following the nurse inside the urgency.

The doctor finally managed to stabilize Yuan completely and they brought him into a room where he would rest for one or two days if everything was going well. They let me stay with him when Bryant told them I had nothing to do with what had happened to Yuan, that I was innocent in all this. I thanked him, even though it earned me a glance as murderous as the ones before had been, as well as a dry answer. "I don't really have a choice; he would be mad at me otherwise." He said before sighing. "By the way, has Yuan talked to you yet?" Arching an eyebrow, I shook my head, not understanding what the commissioner meant by that. "Not as I'm aware. Why, is something going on?" Bryant let out a dry sigh. "I'll let him tell you himself. It's none of my business, after all." He looked at his watch. "I have to return to the police station. Tell him I whish him to recover soon." I nodded and looked at him as he left, perplexed. What was he talking about? What did Yuan had to tell me about? Unless... I frowned at the thought that followed. Did that mean Bryant had finally taken his decision? That he had told Yuan about it? It would make sense if I thought back on the things that were mysteriously disappearing from the apartment for some time.

But if that was the case, why didn't Yuan tell me anything? Wasn't he trusting me enough?

I could, of course, be mistaken. Maybe Bryant had meant something else entirely, maybe he hadn't taken his decison yet. Maybe I was worrying for nothing. However, I couldn't help it. If Yuan had to leave...

I sighed before going to Yuan, who was still asleep in his room. I sat next to him and took his hand between my own, waiting patiently for him to wake up, caressing his hair with tenderness. It took hours before he finally opened his eyes slowly. This time they were full of life, despite the tiredness clearly visible and I sighed with relief. It was like a real confirmation that he was saved, that he was not in danger anymore. "Are you feeling better?" I asked on a soft tone and he nodded. "I have an atrocious headache, but apart from that, I think I'll be okay." He whispered his answer, looking at me with a weak smile. "Do you want me to call the nurse? She can surely give you something to make it go away." But he only shook his head. "If it's going to put me asleep again, I rather not. I don't want to wake up later and find you're gone." He sulked and I felt my heart squeeze at that sight, but I smiled gently at him. "Yuan, you need rest if you want to get out of here soon. And don't worry about that, I don't intend to go anywhere but right here. I'll stay until you wake up again, okay?" Too bad for Yggdrasil; I would suffer the consequences later. Anyway, Yuan didn't have to know about it.

The latter had a reassured smile. "Then I'm not against getting rid of that headache." He accepted with a wince and I called the nurse.

I stayed at Yuan's side as long as I could, until I got thrown out of his room. It was an empty apartment that welcomed me, which made me think back on Bryant's words. I hadn't dare talk about it to Yuan as he was in no state of talking, but also because I wanted him to come at me first.

However, would he only do it?

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **Hope you liked the chapter. I hope it was enough to make up a little for the time you spent waiting for it...

We'll try to get the next one out soon. Keep a lookout for it!

Until next time!


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **Hi everyone! I guess you're surprised to see chapter 22 out so early. :) We did our best to make up for the wait for the last chapter!

I have to warn you that this chapter contains mature content. You've been warned!

I wont say anything more; if you want to know, go on and read!

* * *

**Chapter 22**

I knew I would be severely punished for not having completed my mission. But when Yggdrasil had drove that syringe into my forearm, I had no idea of what the effects of the drug would be on me. I wasn't expecting all my senses to explode in atrocious and agonizing pain. I had vainly tried too retain my screams of pain, but my entire body was torn apart by the suffering and I couldn't stop from crying out in agony. It was like every last one of my bones was being crushed to dust, like someone was ripping my organs from my body and that I was skinned alive. I had never felt such pain; it was so strong that I thought it would kill me. I wanted it to stop. I felt myself go lethargic and my lucidity slowly left me. I vaguely remember begging Yggdrasil to stop. I couldn't take it anymore. But he gave me another dosage and I started to scream again, louder this time, under my tormentor's cold and cruel laughing.

But soon, a freezing cold overwhelmed me and I panicked at the thought I was about to die. My body was still shaking with spasms under the pain that was coursing through my veins, but I couldn't move. My sight was getting blurred and I could barely hear the muffled voices of Kratos and Yggdrasil who seemed to be arguing about something.

I felt that someone was dragging me on the ground before I was lifted into strong arms. A voice whispered things I couldn't comprehend and I was forced on my feet. I couldn't even feel the ground under me anymore. All I felt was the cold. The icy cold that was engulfing me and I could barely breath. I soon fell into unconsciousness.

Strangely, when I woke up, I clearly remembered what had happened. So when I realized I was in the urgency of an hospital with strangers leaning over me, I began to panic and desperately called for Kratos. The doctor kept on repeating me to stay calm, that it would only aggravate my state, but I didn't want to hear anything, still asking for his presence and struggling weakly. I needed to see Kratos, I needed him to tell me everything would be okay. The doctor ended up asking the nurse to go get Kratos, understanding I wouldn't calm down until I'd see him.

Soon, he promptly entered the room with a worried expression on his face. He was by my side in an instant and took my hand in his, whispering gently to me that everything would be alright. My gaze never left his, even when the doctor injected something in my arm that brought my heart rate to normal and numbed my senses. I sank into unconsciousness again with Kratos' face smiling softly at me as the last thing I saw.

When I opened my eyes again, I noticed I was in a different room, but Kratos was still by my side. I was so relieved to know he was with me. I had been so afraid to die, to never be able to see him anymore. He asked me how I was feeling and I honestly answered I had an atrocious headache. When he offered to call the nurse, I refused without a second thought, admitting to him that I was scared to find myself alone when I would wake up. It was only when he assured me he would still be there when I would wake up that I agreed for him to call the nurse so she could give me something to ease my pain.

* * *

I was in a really bad mood right now. I had been confined in the hospital for two days now and no matter how many times I told the nurse I was feeling fine and there was no reason to keep me here, she was refusing to let me out before being examined by the doctor. And knowing my luck, the doctor was too busy right now to come see me. I had been waiting for hours now and my patience was rapidly fading.

I was looking at the TV with a frustrated and bored expression when someone knocked on the door of my room. I turned my head and saw Kratos enter with a warm smile on his lips. Usually, his presence was enough to make my bad mood disappear, but it didn't work this time. I only turned my gaze away and my mood still darkened. Kratos sat on a chair near my bed, looking at me with surprise. "What could I possibly have done to deserve this?" He joked and I threw him a dark look. I wasn't in the mood for jokes. "Please, it's not the time for that. I'm stuck here because the doctor doesn't have the time to see me and I need his damn permission to get the hell out of here! I'm fine, I don't need to stay here!" I let go of my anger and folded my arms on my chest. Kratos laughed loudly and my expression soon became one of outrage. "How dare you – " I began, but Kratos leaned to me and kissed me tenderly. "It seems that you really are feeling well if you get angry like that. Have I already told you you are very cute when you get angry?" He whispered with amusement.

It took me several seconds to assimilate what he had just said. When I did, my cheeks burned up with shame and anger. I pushed him away and threw him a murderous glance. "I'm _not_ cute! If you say that again I'll – " He caught my wrists to prevent me from striking at him again. "You'll what? Hit me? Blush even deeper?" He teased me and it only worsened my anger. He loved angering me so much? I vaguely thought his playful mood was only an act to hide the worry that had plagued him when I had nearly died, but I was too furious to care about it. I tried to get my wrists free, but like usual, Kratos wasn't helping. "Kratos, let me go! Let me go so I can hit you!" I exclaimed with anger. But like always, Kratos found the mean to calm me by kissing me again, this time in a more demanding and deep kiss. I responded to the kiss despite myself.

When we separated, he softly brushed away the bang that hid a part of my face. "Are you feeling better now? It won't serve you to get angry for so little. If it can comfort you, I'll stay with you until the doctor arrives. This way, you won't get bored." He proposed gently and I felt myself agree despite myself.

Kratos had joined me on the bed and we were peacefully watching the TV for more than an hour now, with my head laying on his shoulder and our fingers intertwined on his thigh. Someone suddenly cleared his throat in the entrance's direction and I lifted my head to see the doctor enter the room. Kratos stood up to give room to the man so he could examine me. "So, you told the nurse you were feeling well enough to leave the hospital?" He asked and I nodded as sole answer. "Very well. We'll see about that." He then began a set of tests, verifying my blood pressure, my heat rate, the working of my muscles... He wrote the results down as one goes along. Soon, he stood up and looked at me with a smile. "Everything is normal. You will be able to leave. But once at home, I want you to avoid making too much efforts and that you rest as much as possible. After all, you nearly died." He explained. Kratos nodded. "Very well. I'll make sure he rests some more." He answered. I scowled at that. I didn't need to rest, I was feeling well!

The doctor called a nurse, asking her to bring me my clothes before bidding us goodbye.

* * *

One day had passed since I had left the hospital, but Kratos was still acting very protective and tender towards me. He wasn't letting me do many things by myself, wanting me to rest. I found this insane, since I was really out of danger now. But I wasn't going to complain. I suspected Kratos was spending the more time possible with me on purpose. He had even managed to take his afternoon off. I didn't know how he managed to do it, but I was happy for it. It was giving us more time to spend together before my departure. I felt my heart clench under the culpability at this thought, since Kratos didn't know about it yet. And we had four days left. I sighed at length and tried to push that thought away, plunging into my book again. I was laying on the sofa and my head was on Kratos' thigh, who was watching TV while stroking my hair with one hand. We rarely had moments so peaceful, so _normal_.

"Is there something wrong?" Kratos softly asked me and I lifted my eyes on him. "No, why do you ask?" I asked, sincerely confused. His hand stopped its movement in my hair and he arched an eyebrow lightly. "Because you just sighed." He pointed out calmly. I immediately threw him a false smile. I didn't want him to worry. "I'm fine, don't worry. I'm just a little tired, that's all." I tried to persuade him, but he didn't want to let go of the subject. "You're sure? There's nothing you need to tell me?" He added and I looked at him with caution.

What could he be talking about? He told me Bryant had come to the hospital and that they had a talk, but... Bryant couldn't possibly have told him I was leaving? I certainly hoped not. "No, I told you, everything is fine." I insisted in my lie. I didn't want to tell him now. A glance at Kratos told me he wasn't satisfied.

My cellphone suddenly rang and I was glad for this interruption. I reached for the device laying on the lounge table. I saw on the screen that it was Botta. Kratos lowered the sound of the TV so I could hear. "Hello?"

"Yuan, I – I've got some bad news." His voice shook and it alarmed me. I got up slowly and sat up, my face taking an expression of worry. "Botta, what's happening?" I enquired with an alarmed voice. I saw on the corner of my eye that Kratos was listening attentively. "... Kaoru is at the hospital. She – she had a relapse." At the tone of his voice, I knew it was serious. He was completely panicked. "My God. Which hospital is it? Is Yumi with you?" I asked with panic too. "We're at the hospital Saïseikaï Suita. Yumi is with me. I couldn't bring her to her grandparents. They're on vacation for two weeks." I stood up and walked to the entrance. "Okay. I'm coming right away." Botta thanked me with a trembling voice before hanging up. I took my coat and realized that Kratos had followed me and was putting his own coat on. "Kratos?" I asked him while throwing him a confused look. "I'm coming with you." He said softly. I nodded and we quickly got out of the apartment to go to the hospital.

* * *

When we arrived, we were guided to the urgency. I found it ironic that we were going back to the same hospital were I had been hospitalized up to one day ago. It wasn't long before we spotted Botta and his daughter. Botta was sitting on a chair, with his daughter on his lap, seemingly on the verge of tears. When she saw me, Yumi ran to me. I knelt on the floor and she threw herself into my arms, bursting into tears. "Uncle Yuan! Mom is... mom..." The poor girl wasn't able to finish her sentence between her sobs. I hugged her tightly in my arms, trying to appease her sorrow and comfort her. "Darling, everything will be alright, I promise you. Your mother will feel better in no time. But you have to be strong, okay? I'm sure your mom wouldn't want to see you look sad." I whispered on an appeasing tone and Yumi sobbed while nodding.

I wiped her tears away and smiled softly at her. She tried to calm down and soon lifted her eyes on Kratos, who was standing beside me. "Uncle Yuan, who is he?" She asked me with curiosity. Her question took me by surprise and I lifted my eyes to meet Kratos gaze. I smiled at him before straightening up, lifting Yumi into my arms. "His name is Kratos. He's really, really important to me. Like your father with your mother, you see?" I explained softly. It was never easy to explain this kind of thing to a child, especially when it was about love between two people of the same sex. So she surprised me when she said; "So he is your boyfriend?" I heard Kratos laugh softly and I soon followed. "You've got it right, darling." I revealed before putting her down gently on the ground, seeing Botta finally coming to greet us. He seemed very tired and also on the verge of tears.

Without saying anything, I took him in a strong embrace. "Botta, I'm sorry. If I can do anything, just ask..." I told him as I released him. "Thank you, but your presence is already enough." He said on a tired tone. I put a hand on his back. "Come on, sit down." He did as told and I sat beside him on a chair. Kratos joined me and put a hand on my shoulder. I lifted my gaze on him. "Do you want something to drink?" He asked me softly. "Only water, thanks." I answered and Kratos nodded. "And you, Botta?"

My friend looked at him for several seconds before answering weakly; "A cup of coffee would be a real treat." Kratos nodded again. Yumi took that moment to pull on the sleeve of his coat and he lowered his eyes on her. "Can I come with you, uncle Kratos?" She innocently asked and it made the three of us smile. Kratos looked at Botta, silently asking if he had any objection. Botta gave him his permission with a sign of his head. Kratos took Yumi's hand and smiled tenderly at her. "Let's go together then, little princess." This made Yumi blush with pleasure and they both left the waiting room. Seeing them leave together warmed my heart and I knew it had the same effect on Botta, even for a little.

Botta had a sad smile. "The doctors said it was serious. They're not certain she'll make it out this time." He said while burying his face in his hands. My arm circled his shoulders and I leaned my head against his temple, trying to give him some of my strength. "She'll make it. She's strong. I'm sure she's fighting right as we are speaking, for you, and for Yumi. You have to believe in this." I whispered with sadness. It was so unfair for Botta. Why did it had to happen to his wife? His family and him didn't deserve to suffer like this. If really there was a God in this world, I prayed that he helps them to make it through that trial.

I didn't want to add more to Botta's burden, but I realized now might be the only time I had to announce him my departure. I closed my eyes. "Botta, I have something important to tell you." He answered nothing, but I knew he was listening intently. "I don't think Bryant told you already, but he took the decision to remove me from the investigation on the murder of Kratos' family. And you know what it means." I said slowly. I didn't need to explain to him the means Bryant would use to remove me from the investigation. He knew about them well enough. He missed a breath. "It – it can't be serious? How could he take such a decision?" He asked on an outraged tone, moving a little away from me to look at my eyes.

"Don't be angry at him. I understand his decision. Unlike you, I've not been infiltrated into the mafia for a long time. There are certainly traces still left of me at the police station. And Yggdrasil intends to obtain information on every last member of our police station. He'll discover my existence soon enough. If I don't leave, there's only death awaiting me... At least, I could say goodbye to you before leaving, because I don't think we'll see each other again." I whispered with a broken voice. Saying farewell to my best friend was killing me, but I knew it would be even worse when it would be Kratos' turn. Botta seemed totally shocked.

"No, it can't be, there must be another way! It's just... horrible." He said miserably. I shook my head slowly. "No. There's no other option. But I don't regret anything. If I hadn't taken that decision, I surely wouldn't be with Kratos now." I said slowly. Botta looked at me with apprehension. "Does he know?" I immediately knew he was talking about Kratos. I had a dry and unhappy laugh and hid my face in one hand. "No. I don't have enough courage to tell him." Botta's hands were suddenly on my shoulders and he shook me roughly. I locked my gaze with his. "Yuan, how can you hide this from him? He's the one that deserves to know the most! How do you think he'll react if you tell him at the last moment?"

His words hurt me and I fought the despair that was rising in me. "I know he deserves to know, but it won't change the fact I'm leaving in four days! He won't be able to go against that. He won't be able to stop our separation." I said with pain. Botta seemed to understand, since he didn't protest anymore. I leaned my head again against his and pushed a long sigh of weariness. "I don't want to leave. I don't want to lose all of you..." My whisper of agony met no answer, since Kratos and Yumi came back with the drinks and we all waited to hear of Kaoru's condition in complete silence.

* * *

Kratos and me stayed with Botta and his daughter for a long time, until the doctor came to tell us Kaoru's state had stabilized and they had moved her to another room. When they were given the permission to see her, we decided to leave them alone and went back home. This second visit to the hospital had exhausted me and I didn't lose time to collapse from tiredness on my bed. Kratos joined me and sat on the bed with an amused smile. "You okay? Not too tired?" He asked me softly. I looked at him for a short while before gripping his arm and pulling with strength, making Kratos fall on me. I kissed him tenderly before answering; "Now, I'm okay." Kratos laughed softly and settled beside me, closing his arms around me to pull me closer to him. His hands caressed softly and distractedly my arm. "I'm really sorry for Botta and his adorable daughter." Kratos whispered, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. "Yes. Me too. They don't deserve this." I added, without wanting to push the subject further. I wanted to think of something else. I had enough just thinking about the sad events that kept happening around us lately.

I folded my arms on Kratos' chest and put my face in the crook of them, looking at him with a mysterious smile. He lifted an asking eyebrow. "You were so _adorable_ before, playing with Yumi like this. I'm almost jealous." I teased him and Kratos joined in the game. "You should. She's almost as cute as you are. And I must add she's got a better character than you." He replied with a wide smile. I knew he wanted me to get angry at his comments, but I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction. "Oh yeah? But I know you love my character too much and that you wouldn't change it for anything in the world." I replied and Kratos was surprised by my answer. Soon, he was laughing with mirth and caressed my cheek lovingly. "Okay, you win _this time_." At these words, I rolled my eyes. He always wanted to have the last word, didn't he?

I sighed at length and looked at his face closely. That fact didn't go unnoticed to Kratos' eyes. "What is it?" He enquired. I shook my head slowly. "Nothing. I was just thinking you must have been a good father for Lloyd, at the way you were playing with Yumi. You seem to really like children." A sad and melancholic smile dawned on his lips. He must be remembering the moments he had spend with his son. "I really hope so." Was his only answer. I leaned my head in the crook of his shoulder. "You know, I'd like to have children one day." I said on a low tone. Kratos' arms tightened their hold around me. "Then we'll adopt some." He whispered near my ear. I lifted surprised eyes on him. "What?" I asked, dumbfounded.

Kratos was smiling tenderly at me. "When all this will be over with, we could adopt adorable children that we would raise as our own. What do you think of it?" It... it would be marvellous. I then imagined how my life could be with Kratos and marvellous children, in a house we would have chosen, living a peaceful life... It was so magnificent that I would give everything to see it happen one day. But it was impossible. And Kratos knew it too. I forced a smile, which I hoped Kratos wouldn't see through. "I would love it. It would be good to have a boy and a girl." I added and Kratos seemed thoughtful for a short moment. "Alright, but I'll make it so I'll be spending more time with our daughter." I frowned at his words. Why was that? "Imagine a young lady with the same exploding character than you; it wouldn't be a good match." He simply added.

This time, I wasn't about to let this offence go. I threw him an angelic smile that immediately put him on his guard. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't anticipate what I had in mind, since my face was already close to his neck. Without so much as a warning, I harshly sank my teeth in his neck. He let out an exclamation of surprise and pain, trying to push me away. "Yuan? Stop that! What are you doing, are you mad?" I released him and lifted my face to throw him a victorious and deceitful smile. "So I have a bad character?" I repeated his words. Soon a light of challenge appeared in Kratos' eyes and before I had time to comprehend what was happening, his fingers were running down my sides and I violently squirmed while laughing loudly. "You want to play that game, huh?" He exclaimed on a playful tone. I tried to get his hands of me, but Kratos was stronger than me and easily had the upper hand.

Soon, I couldn't take it anymore and I begged him to stop between my laughs. Kratos had pity on me and stopped tormenting me. I cursed the day when he had discovered my weak point. We stayed like this for a long time, only taking solace in the warmth of the other. I prayed for this moment to last eternally, for time to stop turning and for the dream to continue.

* * *

My departure was making me feel more and more nervous and I felt the need to say goodbye to all the people I cared about. So I had contacted Liu to see him one last time before I was forced to leave. I wanted to warn him of the danger that may be hovering above him. So I went to his home one afternoon when Kratos was working. I knew he wouldn't agree with my decision of going to see him, but I couldn't do anything else. I was worried for him and I had little time left to warn him.

When I arrived at his home, I saw Liu was still as happy to see me as before. He let me in with a warm smile on his lips. "I'm rather surprised you asked to see me, but I'm flattered." He said softly before guiding me to his private lounge where we sat down. It seemed he had guessed I wasn't here to resume our sessions. He offered me a cocktail, but I politely declined before sitting beside him. I wouldn't be here long, anyway. "I got the impression you came here for a very important reason, am I right?" He enquired slowly, plunging his dark eyes into mine. I took a long breath before talking. What I had to say wasn't easy and I had to be careful not to reveal everything that concerned my double identity. Even if he was a good and honest man, who knows how he would react when learning a police officer was sitting beside him?

"Indeed. I came to ask you to be careful." I began slowly, not letting my gaze falter from his. I didn't miss the confusion that dyed his pupils, even if it was for a split moment. "I need to apologize to you, Liu. I hadn't been totally honest with you and I regret it now. I'm not a simple collector." I whispered the last sentence. Liu stayed unmoving, waiting for me to continue. "I believe you know who Mithos Yggdrasil is?" I asked while already knowing what would be his answer. He frowned lightly. "Of course. I never met him in person, but the rumours about him that reached me are far from being pleasant." My gaze darkened. "He's a very dangerous man; he's vicious and cruel. He never hesitates to use the filthier means to get what he wants. I know it, because... I'm a spy working under him." I turned my eyes away after having said those words. I didn't want to see the expression he would be making. I had to tell him the reason of my visit, the reason of my warning.

"I approached you first because he had asked me to investigate your organization. He thought you might become a threat to him and he wanted to know your goals and your means. But... by spending time with you, I learned to know you and I know you're not a bad person. It's what I told him, that you would never become a hindrance to him. But I believe it will not stop him from trying to get at you and your family. It's why I came to beg you to be careful, to stay prudent at every instant. I know I don't deserve your trust, but I beg you to believe me." When I had finished talking, I finally regained the courage to look him in the eye. He leaned towards me, who was too stunned to move, and caressed my cheek with the back of his hand. "You know, Sano, I had the intuition you weren't a mere collector. It was only a guess, though, nothing more. But you're mistaken on one point. You still have all my trust. The fact you came here to warn me and reveal your identity proves me that you're not totally loyal to that Yggdrasil and that you genuinely care about me, isn't it?" He said with compassion and I had a weak smile, not even having the heart to push his hand away.

"Of course. I'm not with Yggdrasil because I want it or am agreeing with his ideals. I'm with him because I don't have a choice." I admitted, but still hiding my real occupation. Determination took hold of Liu's face. "If he keeps you as a prisoner, why don't you come under my protection? No harm could be done to you if you stay with me." He suggested truthfully. I shook my head and drew a sad smile. "It's really kind of you, but you don't know him as well as I do. He's got infallible spies working for him. As long as I'm alive, he would hunt me down and find me, that you can be sure of. And he would kill you for trying to hide me. And I can't let such a thing happen."

Liu's spirits seemed to die down at my words. I knew he sincerely wanted to help me, and I was grateful for it. But it was simply impossible. Anyway, today would be the last time I would see him. "I understand. But please know this, Sano, that I'll always be there for you if you ever need me." He assured me gently. I was deeply touched by his words, even if I still thought I didn't deserve his caring.

"I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Unfortunately, it was all the time I had. Goodbye, Liu." I whispered before standing up and walking to the door without a glance back, without awaiting for a response. I was surprised when two strong hands gripped my arms and turned me around. I lifted my eyes on Liu's anxious face. "Why do I feel like it is your last farewell?" His question startled me and I could only look at him with surprise. "No, it's not li-" I began hesitantly, but Liu cut me out quickly. "Oh really? Then why did you come today to warn me of being cautious, like you would never have the chance to tell me after? Then why are you shaking under my grasp?" He had always been so discerning. I tried to turn my face away, but one of his hands took my chin and kept it in place. "It's – it's true. I'm going away in three days." I admitted against my will. I didn't miss the slightly hurt expression that crossed his face. "I thought you said it was impossible for you to leave Yggdrasil's organization." He asked with confusion.

I sighed softly. "And I didn't lie. In normal circumstances, it would be impossible to escape from him. I can't reveal to you what it is about, but I've got a mean to leave without him hunting me down. But it means that I'll have to leave the side of everyone I love and never see them again." I said while getting out of his hold. Liu wasn't saying anything, but I could see he was trying to make sense of my words. I didn't see what I could add without revealing my real identity, so I was about to turn away again. But Liu wasn't seeing things the same way. His arms closed around me and before I could realize what was happening, he caught my lips in a tender and desperate kiss. I was so shocked that I didn't even thought about pushing him away. It was only when his tongue caressed my lips, seeking entrance, that I got over the shock enough to push him away firmly. His hold lessened and I was able to back away from him. Regret instantly took hold of his features. "I'm – I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. But the thought of never seeing you again is maddening. I would give everything to keep you with me, even if I know it's impossible." His voice was so tormented and I knew not what I could do to comfort him. I would probably only hurt him more, but I had to at least try.

I slowly went closer to him and took his face between my hands. I smiled sadly at him. "Don't be sorry, I'm not angry at you. Only, I can't do that. Not only because I love someone else, but also because I don't have any other choice than leaving. Only death awaits me if I stay here. I don't want to give you false hopes; I care too much about you to do this." Liu caught one of my hand and squeezed it gently. "What about your lover? Is he coming with you?" I felt my heart clench painfully at his question. "No. He cannot follow me where I'm going. We are both belonging to two totally different worlds." I whispered sadly. Liu didn't seem able to say anything. I dropped a quick kiss on his cheek before letting my lips travel to his ear. "Thank you for everything, Liu. I sincerely hope that we'll meet again someday. I don't think it will quench your grief, but know that if I had met you earlier, I might have fallen for you instead. But fate had other plans in mind. I'm sure that there's somebody out there that is waiting for you, someone that will be able to complete you and make you happy. Because I can't do it. I'm not even able to do it for the one I love the most in this world." My words were filled with an unending sadness and I walked away from Liu, making for the door. This time, Liu didn't try to stop me. I hesitated for a short moment before turning around and throwing Liu an apologetic look. Then I left, leaving him alone, his heart broken by my fault.

* * *

There was only two days left before my departure. That morning, I had gotten up at an early hour, because there was still something I needed to do before leaving; talk to Presea. And I remembered Kratos told me once that she was usually around the headquarters only early in the morning. I woke up before Kratos and left him a note on the table, not wanting him to worry before leaving the apartment.

When I arrived at the headquarters, I went to Presea's office and knocked softly on the door. She soon opened it and I'm almost sure I saw surprise win over her blue eyes. "Mister Nagano? What can I do for you?" She asked politely and I smiled gently at her. "Can I come in, Presea? I need to talk to you. I won't be long." Presea nodded and moved aside to let me pass. I thanked her and entered her office. I sat on a chair and waited for her to do the same. She looked at me with an indifferent expression that couldn't manage to totally hide her curiosity. "I'm listening." She pressed me on. It took me several seconds to organize my thoughts before talking. "Presea, I know that my question will seem strange to you, but I absolutely have to ask you this; do you have family outside of here?" The young girl really seemed surprised at first, but soon she became thoughtful. It took her a long moment before she answered my question. "My memories are somewhat blurred, since I was only five years old when I was forced to work into the organization. So I can't answer well to your question. All I can tell you is that I remember an older sister. She was there when they came to kidnap me at home. She saw everything. The last image I have of her is her face filled with tears, screaming for me to come back." As she was telling me all this, she seemed lost in the world of her memories.

I knew there was a high possibility that it was Alicia. It couldn't be only a coincidence. "Presea, do you remember the name of your sister?" I enquired on a soft tone that didn't hide the importance of my question. "...Alicia." She whispered, her blue eyes never leaving mine. I couldn't be mistaken now. I sighed. "Presea, what if I told you your sister was alive, that she was now married and was awaiting a child?" This time, Presea seemed totally fazed, not awaiting my words. "...What did you say?" She said slowly. I leaned closer in order to get her full attention. "Alicia is one of my good friend's wife. She's living not too far from here. She looks so much like you that I knew it couldn't be a coincidence; the same blue eyes, the same shape of face, the same pink hair..." Her eyes lighted up. "My – my sister is alive? And she's happy? Then I can't ask for more. I'm so happy to learn she's okay!" As she was talking, I saw with dismay tears gleam at the corners of her eyes before a single tear ran down her cheek.

Presea stopped talking and her shaking fingers wiped away the tear. Crying seemed to be foreign to her as she threw me a confused look. I rapidly took one of her hands in mine to comfort her. "You know, she has never forgotten you. And I know that nothing would please her more than seeing her little sister once again. And you, would you like to see her again?" I asked softly. Presea was crying openly now. It seemed like she was regaining the emotions she had kept locked away all these years. "Yes. Yes, I want to see her again! But I can't, I'll never be able to! I'm a prisoner here!" She sobbed painfully. I tried to calm her. "Presea, listen to me." She looked at me then, locking her eyes with mine shining with determination. "I promise you that you'll see her again. I can't tell you when it will happen, but it will be in a close future. It's a promise, okay?" I whispered with conviction. Yes, now that I was sure of it, I would talk about this to Bryant before my departure, to make sure he would do what it takes once Yggdrasil would be arrested. Presea will meet with her sister again one day. When I promised something, I didn't go back on my words.

* * *

There was only two days left before my departure. And I still didn't have the courage to tell Kratos. I was only a coward. I let out a long sigh and continued to rummage through my bookcase to pick the books I would bring with me. I couldn't possibly take them all; I had to take the minimum with me. Anyway, where I was going, Bryant had informed me that the apartment that would be rented to me was already furnished. I threw a book in the box lying near me and took another one that I began to look at absentmindedly. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice a presence behind me. I jumped when a hand took the book from me. I turned around quickly, seeing Kratos standing behind me, an indecipherable expression on his face. I felt my face lose its colours at the thought he had caught me doing my boxes. I wasn't awaiting him for at least another hour or so! I couldn't believe I was so distracted that I hadn't heard him enter the apartment!

He observed me for a long time and I couldn't find it in me to talk. Soon, he gently put down the book in the box on the sofa before dropping eyes of infinite sadness on me. "Why didn't you tell me anything? Did you think I wouldn't notice that your things were mysteriously disappearing?" He scolded me softly and I diverted my gaze. "Because I couldn't find the courage to tell you." I whispered on a hurt tone. I felt terrible for not having told him as he deserved to know. Even more knowing he was surely worried sick, waiting for Bryant's answer. I really was stupid. Kratos lifted my chin softly but firmly, forcing me to look him in the eye. "Since when have you known?" He asked with a dead voice and I couldn't do anything else than answer him. "Since the day Yggdrasil gave me this last mission. I'm being transferred in two days." I whispered while closing my eyes. I couldn't bear to see the expression he would wear, learning we had so little time left.

I wondered what would be worse; that he learned it now, or for him to be worried sick for two weeks, haunted by the thought of the unstoppable countdown. Kratos let out a dry and ironic laugh that made my eyes snap open. He had buried a hand in his hair and his face was showing an expression between agony and desperation. "Only two days? We have only two days left? And you didn't say anything?" He raised his voice where panic and pain were clearly present. My culpability only got worse. I had to make a great effort to stop it from devouring me. "I – I'm sorry, really! But would it have changed anything if you had known sooner? It's not like you would have abandoned your conditions, anyway!" I let out despite myself. I didn't miss the culpability and regret in his carmine eyes. He answered nothing for a long time. Soon, he sighed and got closer to me, circling my shoulders to pull me against him. His free hand caressed my untied hair. "You already know that I can't…" He answered in a hesitant voice.

He was hesitating. So maybe… maybe he would give up if I insisted? I decided to try it. I buried my nose in the hollow of his neck and sighed. "Even if I insist? Even if I beg you to make love to me before it's too late?" I whispered sensual words on an innocent tone. A shiver ran through Kratos at this. He pushed me gently away to look in my eyes. "Yuan, I already said no and I don't want to talk about it anymore." I frowned before his constant refusal, but I refused to give up. I shook his hands away and got close to him again. Before he got the time to do anything, my arms circled his neck and I approached my lips from his ear. "Please, I'm tired of waiting. I want to feel you inside of me, in the deepest part of me…" I whispered in his ear.

I hadn't anticipated his reaction. Kratos captured my wrists brusquely and pushed me against the wall besides the bookcase and I let out an exclamation of surprise. His face leaned in close to mine. "Yuan, stop that or I soon won't be able to control myself." He warned me with a threatening and tensed voice. I could see his conviction was about to shatter. "And that's exactly what I want." I replied on a firm tone, even though I had merely whispered the words. Kratos seemed to be battling himself internally. I thought I had won until he let go of my wrists and backed off a little. "I said no." Was his only answer.

These three words had a terrible impact on me. It felt like Kratos was rejecting me, like I wasn't worthy of having him. I clenched my fists until my knuckles were white and I fought hard the tears of helplessness that were threatening to fall any second. My emotions were brusquely bubbling to the surface and the words I had kept locked inside for so long finally burst out.

"I love you! I love you so much that it hurts! I was scared to say these words, scared of so many things! You are the only one precious to me, and now I'm about to lose you… Is it abnormal for me to want you to make love to me before you disappear from my life?" My voice was broken by the violent feelings that were tearing me apart and I didn't notice that the tears were running freely now. All I could see was Kratos' stunned expression. He soon pulled out of his torpor and I felt myself captive of his strong arms as he was trying to calm me, trying to redeem himself for having put me in that state. "No, Yuan, don't say that, it's not your fault. Your desires are merely normal." He whispered on a soothing tone, but also guilty. I gripped his shirt with strength, trying desperately to stop crying. "But it seems like – like _you_ don't want me…" I pronounced the fears that were eating me away for a long time now. Kratos might say that he loves me, but maybe he didn't desire me because I was a _man_… It could be. As far as I was aware, he never had a male lover before me. So maybe he couldn't bring himself to be intimate with me because of it…

Kratos' hand gently took my chin to lift my face. His thumb wiped away a single tear. "Were did you get these silly ideas? Of course I want you! I want you so much that it takes all my control to stop myself from taking you." He explained calmly and his words made me shiver, while also driving me confused.

"Then why are you hesitating so much? It can't only be because you don't want Yggdrasil to hurt me. Help me understand, please." I asked with begging eyes. Kratos seemed to ponder for a while before finally sighing and looking at me with serious and sad eyes. He let go of me and lifted his hands in front of his face. "My hands are dirty, Yuan. They are stained with so much murders and filth that you can't even begin to imagine. I don't have the right to make you mine; I don't have the right to soil your purity. I could never forgive myself if I did, never." He admitted sadly, clenching his hands into two fists and closing his eyes.

I couldn't believe it. He was depreciating himself so much? The reason why he didn't want to touch me was because he was feeling unworthy of me? He could be so stupid sometimes, I swear! Didn't he understand yet that I was accepting him like he was? That I was already aware of everything he must have done in the past and that it didn't prevent me from loving him anyways?

My hands captured his and he opened his eyes slowly. I could see in them the torment that was tearing him apart. "But it doesn't matter to me, I –" I began, but Kratos just shook his head. "But it _does_ matter to me." He cut me gently, his lips now bearing a sad smile. "You're the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on, Yuan. Your honesty and your purity are your best qualities and I can't bring myself to take them away from you. I've already gotten too far." His words touched me deeply, despite the irony of the situation. This is how Kratos was seeing me? Like someone honest and pure? Oh, he had no idea, he didn't know how much I was stained and defiled. He didn't know anything about what I did so many times, hidden by the darkness of the night.

I let go of his hands and took some steps back. I closed my eyes in preparation of what I was about to say, of these words that would probably horrify Kratos and make him flee away from me. Surely he won't want me anymore after that. But he deserved to know. "Kratos… you're mistaken about me. I'm far from having this purity that you think you see in me." Kratos frowned at my words, but didn't say anything, inviting me to express my thought. I bit my lip before deciding to go on. However, I couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes. "Martel's death had left a gaping hole inside of me. I felt vulnerable; I was trying desperately to cling to something, to someone. I had never felt so cruelly lonely, and I wanted to feel loved again. So I – I seduced both men and women, I made them fall under my charm, I sought their comfort even though I knew it would only be for one night, that nothing of this was real. I defiled myself so many times; my body became like a stranger to me. I naively thought I could stop suffering. I couldn't be more in the wrong." I emptied my heart of its burden in a voice no higher than a whisper, still refusing to look at Kratos' face.

I was scared to see what would be written on his face. Soon, he closed the distance between us and lifted my face towards his, but I still persisted in avoiding his gaze. "Look at me, Yuan." He ordered me softly and I felt myself meet his gaze despite myself. I was left confused when I didn't see the disgust I thought would be there, but rather compassion and a burning emotion similar to anger that I couldn't identify. "I'm not judging you. Besides, it would not be my place to do it. I'm no better than you. I let Yggdrasil do with me as he pleased." He said in a tortured and hurt voice at the still too fresh memories. I shook my head sharply, pushing his hand away.

"It's called rape, Kratos! That bastard forced himself on you; you didn't want any of it! But I, on the other hand, I let them do it; I gave them my body on my own free will. I surrendered myself to them without any remorse or second thought. I'm no better than a prostitute." I hid my eyes behind one hand, letting out a forced laugh before Kratos had the time to say anything more. "Can you believe it? A police officer that prostitutes himself when the night comes down, it's such a disgrace. It's a chance that Bryant never came to hear of it; he would surely have fired me a long time ago."

Suddenly, Kratos' hands were on my shoulders, shaking me with enough force to make me look at him with a stunned expression. His gaze was harsh.

"Don't ever say such things again. You made mistakes, like everyone. You're merely human! Don't cheapen yourself like that." His words shook me to the core. I gripped his arms and put my forehead against his chest. "You're not disgusted? You're not pushing me away, now that you know the real me?" I whispered weakly. Kratos put his chin on the top of my head. "Why would I? I love you and it will never change, no matter what you did or will do in the future. And no matter what you think of yourself, you're still pure and untouched for me. Anyway, you too are accepting me like I am." With these simple sentences, I felt a weight I had been feeling since that time finally leaving me for good and I managed to smile. The love I was feeling for him never ceased to grow more at every instant. We stayed like this for some time, only revelling in our proximity.

At some time, I let out a long sigh and lifted my face toward Kratos. He locked his gaze with mine and I hesitated a moment before talking, fearing the answer. "I imagine your answer is still no?" I asked simply, knowing he would know what I was talking about. I saw the hesitation in his eyes. I put my hand on his cheek and smiled at him. "Kratos, all I ask of you is one night. Let me drown myself in your darkness for one night… Let me take full advantage of the time we have left." I whispered with passion near his lips.

This time, I knew he had given up. Lust and desire tinged his dark pupils. One of his arms embraced my waist and drew me to him while his lips brushed against mine, giving me a violent shiver. "You're sure of yourself? If I accept, if I give in, it will only destroy and break us more than we already are." He whispered with a mix of anticipation and reluctance. I knew that. I knew that it would not change the fact that in two days, we would never see each other again, and that fully tasting our relation would only hurt us more in the end. But I couldn't help it. I had taken my decision a long time ago. "I don't care. I need you, Kratos."

At the very moment my answer passed my lips, I felt Kratos' lips on mine, his tongue eagerly asking for entrance. I opened my lips with fervour and surprise at his sudden action and our tongues caressed, teased and intertwined with each other. All my mind could think about now was _finally_!Finally, Kratos was giving in to our desires, was giving me what I had wanted for so long. And I knew that this time, nothing would stop us from what we desperately needed and craved.

Kratos groaned in the kiss and pushed me against the wall, pressing his body against mine fully. My arms circled his neck and I arched lasciviously against him, feeling his desire awaken. My gesture gave rise to another rumble in the back of Kratos' throat. Loving the reactions I got from him, I moved my hips again against his own and Krato's lips avidly swallowed my pleasured moan caused by the friction between us. His hands gripped my hips tightly, finding their moving disturbing.

He broke the kiss, panting against my neck that he began to ravish with blazing kisses. I threw my head backwards, exposing my neck and throat to Kratos' hungry lips, offering myself to him without a second thought.

It wasn't an egoistical need anymore; I _needed_ to feel Kratos on every fiber of my being, I needed for him to drown me in an ocean of pleasure and pain. I couldn't even begin to describe the intense pleasure I was feeling right now. I felt like I would die if he refused me this.

His lips found the hollow of my neck and he nibbled at that erogenous area; his teeth sinking in my skin made me cry out in pleasure as my entire body began shaking. I felt Kratos smile against my neck and sucked at the same place, making me arch against him, my nails digging in his shoulders and I let out a long moan.

Kratos' hands that were still holding my hips went lower and leaned on my buttocks, squeezing them gently. His lips left my neck once he was certain his efforts would leave a really visible mark on my pale flesh. He rose to my ear and nibbled the lobe affectionately, making me shiver.

"With that, you're only mine now. I'm the only one that can see you like this…" He whispered in a voice vibrating with desire. A violent shiver ran through me. But before I had time to answer that I didn't want to be anyone else's than him, he lifted me from the ground and my legs circled his waist rapidly to keep my balance. He carried me to _our_ bedroom, not losing time in claiming my lips in the meantime.

Once in the bedroom, he put me down on the bed and I lifted my gaze towards him. He didn't join me straight away, though; he was too busy devouring me with his gaze, a gaze that had considerably darkened by the desire that was clearly written in them. I was surely a sight to see; my untied hair falling on my shoulders was ruffled up, my eyes were gleaming with desire, my partly opened lips were reddened by Kratos' blazing kisses and my shirt with its open collar had slipped from one of my shoulders, revealing my pale flesh.

A beastly groan passed the lips of my lover and he climbed on the bed, crawling ever so slowly to me and I felt unable to turn my gaze away. His hands took hold of my knees and he opened my legs with an excessive slowness, slipping between them and his face grew closer to mine until I could feel his breath caress my lips in a sweet torment. "You're so beautiful, so desirable. I can't believe I was able to hold back for so long." He whispered, his lips brushing against mine temptingly. I buried my hands in his hair, keeping his face close to mine, so I could see his magnificent carmine eyes up close. "So what are you waiting for? You can have me now…" I whispered my answer, my tongue darting out to tickle his lips.

Kratos surrendered to the temptation. He kissed me with enthusiasm and I let him dominate the kiss, letting myself fall on the mattress, dragging Kratos with me. His hands played with my shirt's buttons and opened them skillfully one by one. I broke the kiss and let him get rid of my shirt before he attacked my neck again, his tongue and lips leaving a burning trail behind. An insatiable fire rose in me. I wanted… _so_ much more.

It was almost like Kratos was reading my mind. I couldn't prevent myself from crying out shamelessly when he closed his mouth on my nipple that hardened straight away under the attention as his teeth were playing with it, hard enough to give me a pleasurable pain. I pressed his head closer to my chest in a silent prayer for more. My back arched and my legs squeezed Kratos' waist as his tongue caressed the hardened nub, shifting sometimes to nibbling it teasingly. In the meantime, his hand caressed the soft skin of my stomach in a circular motion before finding my ignored nipple, twisting it between two of his fingers. This time, I tried to repress a long moan of pleasure, but without success.

I writhed underneath Kratos, unable to withstand more of this pleasant torture. My hands still buried in Kratos' hair, I pulled harshly on his bangs and he understood what I wanted. He released my nipples and slowly rose to my face, not without lingering on my neck, sucking and biting at the junction of my ear and jaw and I shivered. Kratos hovered over me, his fingers caressing softly my throat. That simple innocent gesture gave me a new shiver. Kratos laughed softly, highly amused. "You're so sensitive…" He marvelled on a satisfied tone. I closed my eyes and my hands around his neck pulled him closer. I hid my face in the crook of his neck.

"I can't help it. I have never felt this way before…" I answered with a shaky voice. Kratos caressed the small of my back tenderly in a comforting gesture, drawing out a sound that resembled a purr from my lips.

I had never given myself to anyone before Martel appeared in my life. And after her, I had gotten numerous lovers, but it had never been anything more than two bodies searching comfort in each other, searching this sexual gratification that would allow me to forget my pain and replace it by one purely physical. I hadn't been seeking tenderness, but rather pure violence that I had hoped, each night, would destroy me enough to help me forget the cause of my distress.

But with Kratos… Each of his caresses was making me go insane with desire. He only needed to graze my skin for it to catch on fire. I wasn't used to be pleasured like that, to be treated so tenderly, like I was some sort of glass doll that would shatter if it was treated too harshly. And I only loved Kratos more for it.

I opened my eyes slowly and dropped butterfly kisses on his neck, making him shudder.

"You are the only one… the only one that can make me react like this." I whispered against his neck.

He didn't answer to my words, but I knew in the way his breathing stopped for a split second that my words had gotten a reaction. My hands trailed down his torso before gripping the hem of his shirt. Understanding my intentions, Kratos sat up to get rid of his shirt that was preventing me to see Kratos' chest. As soon as he lowered himself on me again, my hands didn't waste time to explore his muscled chest. I marvelled at the difference of colour between us as my pale hand caressed his tanned skin. He shuddered when my fingers grazed his nipples.

He let me do as I pleased for a moment, until my hands reached his stomach. His hands lowered to my waist and without as much as a warning, he rocked his pelvis against mine, causing his erection to rub deliciously against mine through our clothes. I moaned softly and lifted my hips, silently begging him to do it again. Kratos didn't disappoint me. He repeated the movement again and again in a slow and exquisite manner, until I was nothing more than a panting, begging and whimpering mess, my voice combining to Kratos' harsh voice and filled with desire. Not letting me any respite, he went down on my chest, biting, sucking and licking every patch of skin he could find. I could hardly breathe under the pleasure his attentions were providing me. It was deliciously good, like an unbearable torment. Soon, I couldn't bear it anymore.

"Kratos…" I let out his name in a plea between two moans. I wanted him to stop this torture, I wanted more. I wanted to feel him completely.

Kratos was plunging his tongue mercilessly into my navel, making me trash under the pleasant sensations when he finally listened to my plea. Going even lower, he dropped a quick kiss on the flesh just above my belt before untying it slowly. My heart began to beat like crazy, all my thoughts turned towards the pleasure that was to come. Kratos' gaze wandered to my face, searching for some kind of hesitation, but all he saw was a burning desire. He unfastened my belt and pants. He then proceeded to lower them, as well as my underwear, with an agonizingly slowness.

I closed my eyes when he threw my clothes in some corner of the room. I still had the presence of mind to be embarrassed being completely exposed for the first time in front of Kratos. My ears picked up the sound of a belt being opened and my eyes snapped open suddenly, only to see Kratos getting rid of his own pants, leaving him naked in all his glory as he came to place himself back between my eagerly parted legs. He sought my lips and sealed them in a tender kiss, his hands caressing my thighs sensually in a promise of what would follow. Feeling his naked skin against my own was enough to make me shiver in want and impatience.

Our gazes met and words weren't necessary to express what we were feeling; I could see admiration, passion and love in his carmine eyes, and I knew he could read the same emotions reflected in mine. He dropped a quick kiss on my lips before diving lower in sinful slowness, leaving chaste kisses on my chest and lower still. When he arrived at my groin, he ignored my tense member, choosing instead to drop languid kisses on the inside of my thighs. He went up slowly to my desire and blew lightly on the head.

A wave of irritation overwhelmed me as he was playing with my nerves. Without so much as a warning, I pushed brutally on his shoulders and reversed our positions until I was straddling Kratos, my legs on each side of his hips. Kratos seemed a bit surprise by the turnaround of the situation. I leaned over his face until my hair was falling down on his shoulders and around his face. "It's not really nice of you to torture me like this… Now, it's my turn." I whispered sensually, a teasing light in my eyes. Kratos seemed amused by this. I lowered myself, letting my long fingers glide on his chest, my gaze never leaving Kratos' face. My lover had stood up on his elbows to see every one of my movements. When I arrived to his stomach, I left soft kisses on the flesh there while I settled between his legs, spreading them to give me the space I needed.

I soon arrived at the base of my lover's large member and I rubbed my nose against his member hard with desire, gaining an encouraging groan from Kratos. One of my hands wrapped around the base of his erection, feeling the heat that was radiating of it and the way it was pulsating in my palm. I slowly licked it from base to head, where I gave some special attention, tasting the precum that had already seeped from the tip. The salted and non unpleasant taste on my tongue made me purr. Kratos lifted his hips a little, seeking to have more of my attentions. With one hand, I stilled his hips and with the other, I caressed softly his balls. I licked his member again from base to tip, taking my time, which gained me an irritated growl from Kratos' part. I lifted an amused gaze towards him, only to see his face tortured by desire and need. I decided I had kept him waiting long enough.

Without a warning, I took him completely in my mouth in one fluid motion, feeling the tip of his erection hit the back of my throat. Kratos' head flew backwards and he let out a long moan that made shivers ran down my spine and encouraged me to continue. I began to bob my head slowly, letting my tongue roll around the hard member and sucking on the head at some time. I never let my gaze drop from Kratos the entire time and I soon saw his carmine gaze returning on me as he was panting from the pleasure I was giving him. I loved making him lose control like this.

A dangerous growl passed his lips as he was watching, mesmerized, his member disappear in a slow torment between my lips before reappearing. One of his hands buried itself in my long hair, encouraging me to continue. What I did with pleasure. When I felt his thighs tremble on each side of my head and saw him try to lift his hips again, I quickened my pace, pulling his member almost all the way out, until only the head was still between my lips, before engulfing him again all the way down. My teeth scratched the sides and I let out a moan that vibrated and echoed in his throbbing member. A hoarse exclamation of pleasure got out of Kratos' throat and I knew he was about to come soon. I wanted to give him the release he badly needed, but the hand that was in my hair pulled gently, forcing me to lift my head. Kratos pulled me back to him to claim my lips in a passionate and hungry kiss.

When he broke our kiss, he stroked my hair softly with a shaking hand. "Yuan, I must admit that you are… talented." He whispered on a tone filled with amazement. I smiled at his comment, even if I wasn't proud of the way I had acquired this "talent".

Kratos' hands settled on my buttocks firmly and he forced my hips lower, rubbing our erections together deliciously. I threw my head backwards in a silent scream and Kratos took the occasion to sink his teeth in my throat in a possessive way, which made me moan loudly. One of his hands climbed back up and caressed my spine, making me shiver violently.

"So… How do you want to do this?" He asked with passion near my ear, taking this time to gently suck the lobe, making me shiver again on top of him.

I blushed at his question. I wasn't used to be asked what I wanted when it came down to sex. Most of the men I had had sex with were assuming I would be on the bottom, because of my slender built. But to tell the truth, it hadn't really bothered me. I liked feeling vulnerable, dominated. I liked to know that someone had the power to break me and do with me as they pleased.

I noticed Kratos was still waiting for my answer. I approached my face to his. "Like this is fine… with you inside of me." I whispered with desire near his lips.

A dangerous and highly arousing sound rose from Kratos' throat and I felt it vibrate through my own ribs, earning me a dark shiver. I couldn't wait anymore. There was something about Kratos that made me need to be taken and ravished, on a primal level. I needed to feel him in the deepest part of me, to finally feel complete and for the emptiness in me to disappear.

I think Kratos read this need in my eyes, since he dropped a feverish kiss on my lips before moving me softly to stand up and go in search of something in the bathroom we could use as lube. My gaze immediately fell on his naked back, that I had never seen before. When he returned in the room with a tube of hand lotion, he noticed my fixed gaze. He joined me on the bed and put down the tube on the sheets. Then, without a single word, he hesitantly offered his back to my eyes again. My eyes traced softly the head of a Japanese dragon tattooed on his skin, which made up the entirety of his back, ending at the beginning of his collar line. Kratos sighed.

"I would have preferred for you to never see it." He whispered in a resigned voice.

My gaze never faltered from the gracious black and red dragon with the dangerous and powerful appearance. In a way, I thought it was fitting for him.

"Since when?" I asked him simply, knowing he would know what I was talking about. He sighed again and his shoulders sagged, still not facing me. "When I got seventeen. Every yakuza must have a tattoo of some sort. It acts like a proof that you belong to the organization."

At the tone of his voice, I guessed he was afraid I would be disgusted by this mark that proved he was a criminal. He could be such an idiot, sometimes. But I loved this idiot more than anything. Slowly, my tongue caressed his back and I felt him jump.

"Yuan?" His voice calling me wasn't higher than a whisper.

I didn't answer for some time, too busy caressing the lines of his tattoo. Soon, I put my head near his shoulder.

"It's magnificent." These three simple words were enough to tell him that I wasn't disgusted by it and that I would never be. He turned around and plunged his gaze in mine, seeing in my emerald eyes shining with a ghostly light that I couldn't be more sincere. He suddenly kissed me with an infinite gentleness, conveying to me his relief and the emotions flooding out of his heart. Passion and desire soon kicked back in, devouring us completely and I pushed Kratos until his back hit the mattress, mounting him again.

I let him dominate the kiss, taking a great thrill in leaving him all the control. His hand caressed my hip while with the other, he opened the tube of lotion and poured its content on three of his fingers. His hand that was on my hip moved to spread my buttocks and reveal my entrance quivering with anticipation. Kratos' coated hand went down my spine and soon, I felt a finger coated in lotion circle my cleft teasingly, threatening to penetrate inside at any moment. I let out a weak moan of encouragement, gripping Kratos' shoulders and spreading my legs further apart shamelessly, my body shaking at the promise of what was to come.

His burning lips found my throat at the same time his finger breached the tight ring of muscles and plunged into the heat of my intimacy. My knees squeezed Kratos' waist and I let out a moan of pleasure as the fire that was devouring me slowly concentrated in my lower abdomen. Seeing my favorable response, my lover inserted a second finger into my tight passage. I felt a pang of pain, but it was quickly suppressed when he moved his fingers inside of me, stretching me for what would come next and searching for that bundle of nerves that would make me scream and writhe in pleasure.

Suddenly, a wave of pleasure swallowed me whole and I arched my back, pushing my hips back on his fingers, letting out a long and wanton moan that made Kratos shudder.

"Oh God, do it again!" I asked in a shaking voice and Kratos obeyed with pleasure. His fingers brushed my weak spot again and again as he slipped his third finger inside, taking a great delight in hearing my moans that were getting louder and louder. I found myself meeting each trust of his fingers with my hips, marvelling at the pleasure that washed over me each time they grazed my sweet spot. My entire body was shaking with convulsions and I soon wasn't able to support myself anymore, collapsing on Kratos, who considered I couldn't be more prepared. He pulled back his fingers and I had to restrain myself from moaning in discontent at the sensation of being empty again. Kratos lifted my face towards him with a shaky hand and I saw the insatiable desire in his eyes. "You haven't changed your mind? Because I don't think I will be able to stop once inside of you." His words made me shiver and I stole a kiss from his lips before approaching my mouth to his ear. "I will say it only once. I want you to make love to me; I want to feel you deep inside of me. I want you to make me forget everything other than you…" I whispered in a lascivious and sensual voice. A violent shiver ran through my lover. He didn't need more encouragement.

He sat up slowly, making me follow the movement. Pouring lotion onto his hand, he coated his erection that was surely painfully hard by now. He lifted me gently to position me above his manhood. His hands went to my buttocks again, spreading them softly and lowering me until the head of his member was kissing my eager entrance. My arms circled Kratos' shoulders and I tried to relax as much as I could, taking a deep breath.

Kratos slowly lowered me onto his large member, forcing his way into the tight heat of my insides. As he was penetrating me, a vivid pain ran through me and without thinking, I sank my teeth with violence into the tender skin of his shoulder to stifle my moan of pain. Kratos let out an exclamation of surprise and pain, to which was soon mixed pleasure when his hips had snapped up in surprise, burying his erection all the way in me. "Shit, Yuan… How – How can you be so tight?" He managed to say between two gasps of pleasure. He didn't seem to mind me biting him anymore, too lost in the pleasurable sensations he was feeling from being buried in me.

_I _was far from feeling pleasure for now. The atrocious pain was running through each part of my body and I could clearly feel Kratos huge, burning and pulsing inside of me, stretching my passage painfully. My muscles contracted, trying to push the invasion away. Kratos groaned and panted against my neck. I was sure he was doing superhuman efforts to not pound into me brutally right now. He stroked the small of my back gently and soothingly, trying to make me forget about the pain.

After some time, the pain had lessened enough and my teeth released their hold into my lover's shoulder that was now wearing a vicious red mark in the form of my teeth. My tongue caressed the wound I had just made, trying to apologize.

When I was used to Kratos' presence inside of me, I slowly lifted my hips until only the head of his erection was in me, before lowering myself and taking him all the way back in again. I let out a weak moan of pleasure and pain at the friction my movement caused. Kratos groaned in pleasure and placed his hands on my hips, but didn't show he wanted to control the rhythm. I rode him slowly, rolling my hips in an agonizingly slow rhythm, letting the pleasure invade me ever so slowly in a delicious torture. Kratos' hands were shaking on my hips and I knew he was dying to control the rhythm, if his jerky breathing was any indication. And I was willing to let him.

I wanted him to make me feel vulnerable, dominated. I wanted for him to claim my body and soul, to deprive me of the control I was forced to have on every aspect of my life.

I leaned over him until my lips were near his own.

"Kratos… Take me completely… Show me that I'm yours, only yours." I whispered my needs with passion. It only took him a second to understand what I had just said. He moved his hips experimentally and I moaned softly when I felt him move inside of me. I gripped his shoulders with more strength.

"Harder…" I asked in a pleading tone. Kratos obeyed without a second thought. He lifted his hips with more strength and impaled me at the same time. My sight coloured with white when he hit my prostate. I arched my back under the intense pleasure overwhelming me and Kratos let out a low groan of pleasure as my muscles were clenching around him. This obscene heat inside of me left me panting, and I wanted more. Kratos' hands tightened on my hips, strong enough for me to be certain I would see bruises the next morning. He repeated the movement; thrusting deep inside of me, earning him moans and screams of pleasure getting louder and louder. I could feel sweat run down my spine and cover my skin in a thin layer, caused by our erotic dance. Burning waves rolled into my lower abdomen as Kratos was still ravishing my body with so much passion and ardour. Being able to feel Kratos buried in the deepest part of my body, claiming me so tenderly yet so wildly at the same time, was so beautiful I wanted to cry.

His hands went lower and spread my cheeks even more, allowing his next thrust to reach even deeper inside of me. I threw my head backwards in a silent scream. My face was only showing absolute bliss under the intense pleasure of having my spine liquefied at each slam home of the pulsing shaft inside me. I abandoned myself completely to this man that had stolen my soul and heart, and was now seizing my body. I wasn't aware of the tears of happiness rolling down my cheeks reddened by the pleasure I was feeling. I wasn't even aware that between my sobs and sighs of pleasure, I was begging Kratos to devour me, to claim me, to break me, to never let me go.

I was only aware of Kratos' hands burning my flesh deliciously, of his lips and tongue that had latched to my neck and throat again, of his moans of pleasure and his twitching member buried in the tight heat of my intimacy, keeping on hitting my sweet spot relentlessly. I vaguely thought that my neck would be a mess of love bites and bruises the next morning, but all these rational thoughts went up in smoke when my lover's hand closed around my ignored erection and began to pump it quickly in time with his thrusts. I was completely lost in a world of pleasure and my partly opened lips were only moaning Kratos' name relentlessly, like a sacred mantra.

Kratos showed his appreciation by diving faster into my welcoming body, his moans getting louder by the second. I couldn't stand it anymore, the heat was unbearable, the pleasure was mounting too fast and soon…

Suddenly, my sight exploded in millions of white stars and I let out Kratos' name in a scream of rapture, my back arching obscenely as I clung to Kratos' back like a desperate man, my nails digging into his skin and leaving bloody trails.

As I was riding my orgasm, my muscles clenched sporadically around Kratos who rammed into my prostate one last time before screaming my name and coming deep inside of me, coating my insides with his semen, making me shudder in delight.

Kratos not being able to support me any longer, we fell on the bed sheets, soaking them with our sweat. His weight crushed me, but it didn't bother me as we were still shaking from the strength of our orgasm. We stayed cuddled like this for a long time, until our breathing had calmed down, taking delight of our proximity.

Kratos pulled out of me at last and I moaned at the sensation of being empty again. He dropped down beside me and embraced me tenderly, caressing my hair with love and tenderness. My hand stroked his cheek with softness and I smile tenderly at him. "I love you, Kratos." I whispered from the bottom of my heart, happy to finally be able to tell him freely. And even if he hadn't answered me, I would have known he was thinking the same thing, seeing the way he had made love to me with so much tenderness and passion at the same time. I cuddled closer to him. That was when I noticed a little detail that made me smile.

"Oh? What is this that I'm feeling here? Didn't I satisfy you enough?" I whispered teasingly, my hand disappearing between us to grab the "problem". Kratos hissed between his teeth at the contact of my lukewarm palm on his new found erection. The hand that was in my hair went down slowly, tracing my neck and shoulder before stopping at my arm that he caressed softly, giving me shivers as my skin was still over sensitive after my orgasm. "You more than satisfied me, don't worry about it. It's just that you're so desirable that I can't manage to satisfy my craving of you." He admitted on a tone that made me shudder and awakened my own desire. I pulled him for a kiss filled with passion and Kratos quickly responded with ardour, dominating it easily. When our lips parted, I brushed his in a fleeting touch. "Maybe I could get rid of your problem, in that case…" I whispered in a sensual invitation. An invitation that Kratos took without waiting. He was soon on me and I circled his neck with my arms, spreading my legs wide for him eagerly.

As he was lowering himself on me to ravish me a second time, I knew the night was promising yet much more passion and pleasure.

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **Finally, our two lovers consumed their love! I hope you liked it, I did my best to surpass myself on this one. ;)

I'll see you at the next chapter!

Thanks again to all those that still read us and for giving us such wonderful comments. Thank you so very much!


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **Merry Christmas everyone!

I hope the best for everyone in the year to come. For now, Saenda and me decided to give you a Christmas gift in advance; Chapter 23!

I hope you'll like it! Hehehehe... (evil laugh)

* * *

**Chapter 23**

He quickly climbed down the steps, looking around him to make sure no one was around to see him. Then he walked along the hallways in a very precise direction. He knew he was forbidden to be on this floor, even more going to the room he was aiming for. His superior had always forbidden every one of his followers to come on this floor. However, it had been impossible for him to obey. His superior should have known that giving him orders like that would have sparked his curiosity. He loved fishing up secrets on the other employees and use it against them.

He arrived in front of a tick and heavy iron-cast door locked thanks to a digital code placed above the handle. He had found out the code some time ago and was proud of it. Another win to add to his achievements: he knew the code leading to the most secretive information of his superior. Of course, he would never use these proof against him, he admired him too much for that. But there was information in the files about some employees he had no shame to use. He absolutely needed to get rid of some people in particular.

With precise movements, he pushed the digits on the small clavier above the handle and a small sound resounded, meaning the door was now unlocked. He opened it and slipped inside, making sure the door wouldn't close behind him. He had noticed there was no handle on the inside and that once closed, the door locked automatically. He had to be careful as he didn't want to lock himself up and be caught by his superior. It would be the worst possible scenario.

He was welcomed by the sight of metallic filling cabinets filled with piles of folders and papers neatly lined up. He had already looked through them several times and had never been disappointed by his findings that were always interesting, and some times even useful. And once again, he went to a filling cabinet he hadn't looked through yet. He looked over each folder's name, reading some lines on the papers he found interesting. He wanted to find some more evidence against that adverse being close to his superior. Apparently, the proof he had found earlier had not been enough to get rid of him, so he diced to try to find something even more useful.

He came across multiple files that were completely useless to him, among which was the funds his superior had paid illegally to the Mitsui bank to make sure it wouldn't crash down and especially to make sure it would stay faithful to his organization. In that regard, Mitsui had become the most powerful bank in all Japan and had as much political influence, which didn't help Japan's level of corruption. But he didn't care about it, he didn't need evidence against his superior, so he let go of the file and began searching again.

He then came across something that quickly caught his attention. On a folder was written: _Report of the 21 November 19XX. _He recognized the date straight away and his eyebrows creased, intrigued. How was it that his superior held a report on that date? Was this only a coincidence? Had there been an event of great importance the same day that...?

He took the folder and opened it to read its contents. As he was reading, his eyes widened with pure horror. Soon, furor joined it and his hands began shaking as he continued his reading. No... It was impossible, it simply couldn't be right! What he was reading couldn't be the truth. It had to be false! And yet, the room in which he was standing was telling him otherwise.

"What are you doing here, Zelos?"

He jumped violently at hearing the hissing and threatening voice behind his back and he dropped the bundle of sheets he was holding. Then, slowly, he turned around to face his superior, looking at him with an hatred he had never came close to feel towards him. That traitor, that back-stabbing traitor, he...! "Bastard! How could you?" He yelled with his hands clenched into fists, barely holding himself from striking the man standing before him. For all these years, he had lied to him, had made him believe so much facetious things!

Yggdrasil laughed as his eyes went to settle on the folder that was now lying on the ground. "Ah, shoot! And I had wanted so much for you to never discover this." He sighed with tiredness, putting his fingertips on his forehead with a discouraged expression. "It seems I had been hoping for too much. To hell with it!" He shrugged his shoulders as his laughter gained in intensity, which didn't quench the anger of his shatei-gashira. But at the same time, hopelessness made its way in him. He had hoped his superior would have denied what he had just read; he had hoped he would show him it was nothing but lies and that Zelos could put his trust in him. But no! On the contrary, he was mocking him for having trusted him for these countless years. "You lying piece of shit! How could you talk like that when you killed my whole family!" He screamed as he did his best to refrain his need to hit Yggdrasil. He wanted answers and explanations before letting his anger run free. "Ma family trusted you, _I _trusted you! You were a friend for them and a _hero_ for me!" At his words, Yggdrasil lifted an eyebrow before bursting out laughing this time as he was clearly amused.

"How naive can you be!" He spat out with a demented smile while slowly getting closer to Zelos. "Pathetic, even!" His laughter still got louder. "You sincerely thought I was a hero? Me, the cruelest man in Japan, feared by the entirety of its population? That's so laughable!" He was still getting closer. "And you seriously thought I was their... _friend_? I don't have friends, my dear Zelos; I only have _useful_ tools around me to do my bidding. And when they are of no use to me anymore, I get rid of them." Zelos felt his blood freeze in his veins. He knew it; He knew all of it after all these years watching Yggdrasil. Still, he had believed the lies of his superior when he had told him he had saved Zelos from the murderers of his family. But it wasn't the truth at all. He had only got him closer to the real murderer. "Your family owed me money, a _lot_ of money. I relentlessly rented them money for them to take care of their needs and so they could keep their honour and ranking. But as time passed I got tired of not regaining all the money I rented. Fortunately, I had a deal to offer them. I needed a child I could rise myself to make him the best shatei-gashira possible, one that would be cruel and faithful. The one I had at the time was only an imbecile that didn't followed my orders and the ones that followed weren't better."

Yggdrasil was now at only two feet away from Zelos, looking at him with his haughty eyes and mocking smile. "I had noticed you among your family; you had a character that I liked. so I proposed them to take you with me and forget all about their debts at the same time. Everyone would have won something out of it. After all, I had payed an enormous sum to have you, but your stupid parents didn't want any of it. They preferred losing everything they had to repay me than letting you go." Yggdrasil's face became sullen. "Unfortunately for them, it's the kind of answer I hate the most. So, since they owed me a colossal amount of money and that I absolutely wanted you, I killed them mercilessly, making them suffer as much as possible. I then pretended having tried to save them and that I had imprisoned the real murderers to ensure you would blindly trust me. That way, I made sure to have an entirely faithful shatei-gashira, even if he was a little nosey and stupid. Who would have thought you would have fallen so easily into this deception without asking questions?"

Zelos was shaking from anger. How could he? How could that bastard? "I'm not a hero." Whispered Yggdrasil at his third in command's ear, his hand gripping firmly his chin. "I'm far from it. I love getting rid of everything I consider a nuisance into the worst suffering and death." On this note, Zelos' anger died down to be replaced by fright at Yggdrasil's cruel expression. He made a few hesitant steps backward, knowing full well that what awaited him was nothing more than a wall. Yggdrasil laughed again. "Oh, don't worry, I won't get rid of you now like I did with your parents. You know what, I simply loved hearing their screams of terror and agony each time I drove a knife into their skin, cutting deeper each time. I don't always remember each person I kill since there's been too many I lost count. But this one I'll always remember."

Zelos let out a yell of rage and his fist flew towards his superior. "Bastard! You son of a bitch!" Unfortunately, the latter quickly avoided the hit before grabbing the teenager's arm in a strong vice. He twisted his arm behind the young man's back, pivoting him on his heels before throwing him on the ground with a swift kick of his feet. Stunned, Zelos didn't instantly notice Yggdrasil was leaning towards him until his hair was forcefully pulled backwards so his face would be at eye level with the older man. "By the way, it wasn't very wise of you trying to help Kratos imprison Kvar. Even if Kratos didn't say anything, it's obvious you were the one that gave him the evidence he needed." Zelos felt himself go pale.

"How...?"

"How do I know?" Yggdrasil's smile widened. "It's very simple! Kratos would never come near this place in a million years since he's no more than a coward! He fears this place. Furthermore, among all of my employees, it wasn't very difficult to know what nosey little rat could have found this secret room." Yggdrasil mocked as he released Zelos, whose face met harshly the cold floor. Yggdrasil stood back up and put a finger on his chin, faking being deep in thoughts. "Hmm... What could I possibly do with you now? I don't feel the need to draw blood right now, I'm keeping this for later..." He didn't say more about this thought, which let Zelos vaguely perplexed, but the teenager had other things he had to take care off, especially when he saw Yggdrasil's eyes illuminate. "Oh, I know! I will lock you up in here so you'll die from thirst and starvation. I'll let you rot in here. It won't be difficult, since no one comes here besides myself. No one will ever find you here." He snickered as Zelos' eyes widened in fear. "I will have to move your corpse afterwards, however. I wouldn't want this room to become contaminated." Yggdrasil threw a mocking smile to his subordinate. "You're lucky you served me faithfully in your life! It will allow you to have a more merciful death." Then, the head of the yakuza turned away and made for the exit of the room. It was now that Zelos realized what was happening and he quickly stood before making a run to the door. "_No!_" Unfortunately, Yggdrasil closed the heavy iron door before he could make it. He stopped in front of it and hit the hard surface with his closed fists. "Let me out, bastard!" But his superior was already far away, laughing loudly.

* * *

I had gotten back to the apartment earlier that day as I had finished my work quickly to have more time to spend with Yuan. I hadn't seen him in the morning as he had gone somewhere, leaving me a note in order for me not to worry. I wondered what he was doing since he hadn't told me anything about it. But I hadn't let him go out in the past few days so he could rest as much as possible. It was only natural he would want to breathe some fresh air.

However, since I hadn't seen him yet today, I had quickly gotten rid of my work to be with him as soon as possible. I didn't know why, but I had the impression I _needed_ to spend the most possible time with him, like he was about to leave soon. I didn't like this feeling and I hated it even further when I cruelly understood it was the plain and truthful reality.

That afternoon, I found Yuan in the midst of distractedly leafing through some books that he was throwing in a box beside him. And this time, I clearly understood; The things that were slowly disappearing from the apartment, it was Yuan that was making them disappear. Bryant's words were making sense now; Yuan should have told me his superior had told him of his decision, that he was sending him away. But Yuan had told me nothing and had kept it to himself. Not knowing how I should be feeling, I moved closer to him and delicately took from his hands the book he was looking at. He turned around to face me, only now aware of my presence as his skin lost all its colours. We looked at each other in silence for a long while before I dropped the book into the box, finally feeling something: sadness. I was sad because he had to leave, sad because we would never see each other again; sad because he hadn't told me anything. Agony and despair joined the sadness when he told me he was leaving in two days. Two days? And he had known for two weeks? How could he hide this fact from me for all this time? We had so little time left now to make the most of the last moments we had together. Why did he hide it from me?

He cruelly recalled me that no matter if he had told me or not, my terms wouldn't have changed. Didn't he know I was already feeling bad for it? I had to contain myself body and soul to not defy them as I wanted him more than anything, even more now that I knew about his departure. But I couldn't do it; I couldn't dirty him as he was the most precious person I had in this world!

He tried to make me break my resolve and I almost gave in, especially since I knew we had so little time left together. However, I quickly regained my composure and stopped myself from giving in. It was then Yuan admitted for the first time since we were together the real feelings he felt towards me, the feelings he had been so scared to reveal. I felt both guilty and touched by it, furthermore when his tears ran freely along his cheeks. I had made him cry once more and he went on thinking irrational things like I didn't desire him. Didn't he already know his words sounded false? It was so difficult for me to control myself for I loved him so much! And I finally explained to him the reason. I finally revealed how stained and defiled I was by so much blood and crimes that I didn't want to defile that purity that was a part of him.

Yet, he wanted to deny those qualities I was giving him. Yuan told me for the first time about a part of his past that I knew he would have wanted to keep for himself for the rest of his life. I saw by the expression of his face that he was ashamed and would have preferred to forget everything. He was afraid of my reaction. But he needed not to fear. As much as he accepted me for who I am I accepted him too. He had made mistakes, he had been hurting like every other human being would have. He may not have searched the solution in the right place, but he had understood it and had gotten over it in the end. Never would I be disgusted by him. Never ever. And despite his past, I still thought he was someone pure and rightful.

He then questioned my terms once more and my hesitation grew. Now that I knew a part of Yuan's past, now that he insisted with even more ardour and that I knew he accepted me despite all the crimes I had committed, it was even more difficult to control myself. I was on the verge of giving up, but I still asked him if it really was the right thing to do. We would be even more torn apart in two days when we would have to part from each other if we had just consumed our love for the very first time. Our separation would only become more painful.

Still, Yuan assured me it was what his heart desired more than anything, that he wanted me and it was enough to make me give up entirely as I caught his lips in a fiery kiss.

I made love to him in the most passionate and tender way possible, showing him the feelings I felt for him. My lips left fiery kisses on every part of his body as my fingers caressed lovingly his hot and feverish skin. Even if I wanted to take him badly, I took my time so I could hear the many moans that escaped his lips and watch his every adorable reaction each time I touched him, especially on his erogenous spots. I couldn't believe I had waited so long as Yuan was so desirable. I felt guilty, but that thought left my mind quickly as I decided to focus on the present moment instead.

At his request, I sheathed myself inside of him, being careful not to hurt him too much, even as he violently bit down on my shoulder. It was like I was holding in my hands a porcelain doll that would shatter if I moved too roughly. However, that thought didn't stay for long as Yuan begged me to take him harder and I answered his request without a second thought. My senses where overwhelmed by him as him by me. I loved him so much that words couldn't describe what I was feeling.

The night was filled with love and passion as one time was definitely not enough. It was like we needed to catch up on the lost time and the one we would never have anymore. We collapsed on the mattress much later in the night, exhausted for having made love so many times. We cuddled together while whispering sweet nothings to each other before finally falling asleep.

* * *

I was the first to wake up the next morning, disturbed by the few rays of light that filtered between the curtains. When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Yuan sleeping peacefully, pressed against me. Last night's events came back to my mind and I smiled with happiness and love while softly caressing my lover's hair. The night had been marvellous, simply magnificent. Finally, I was so happy he had made me give up. We had bot needed it; needed to be comforted, needed to see how our love for each other was deep and ever growing, needed to feel passion from the other. Furthermore since...

I stopped my thoughts then. I didn't want to think about it, not after what we had just done. It would come later on.

Yuan opened his eyes, still in a daze, before lifting them in my direction while smiling at me. I responded quickly with a smile on my own. I gently caught his lips in a soft kiss and he answered with a soft laugh filled with joy. A sound that warmed my heart. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?" I enquired while releasing him and he nodded, leaning his head on my torso. "Better than ever." He purred while cuddling against me until our bodies were flushed against each other. My hand still in his hair went lower to his cheek and I caressed it lovingly. "I'm glad." We stayed like this for a long while, merely basking in each other's presence, before I finally stole a glance at the clock. "We'd better get up now." I said almost in a whisper, not wanting to get up myself. Yuan caught my arm between his own to prevent me from going anywhere. "No. Let's stay like this for a while longer, please." He begged me with irresistible eyes and I wanted my resolution to bend, but I stopped it. "I don't think we have the time for that. I shouldn't be late to work." I said and Yuan immediately seemed disappointed.

I felt my heart clench and my hands cupped his face so I could kiss him. "Don't worry. I'll do my best to finish all my work in the morning so we'll have the entire afternoon to spend together." I said to make him smile again and it worked pretty well. He lifted a face filled with hope towards me. "Really?" I nodded, laughing on a low tone. He could be so cute sometimes. "Yes, I promise you. We'll even go outside to eat together, if you want." The last time we did this, except for our little trip, had been on the day of Anna and Lloyd's funeral.

Once again happy, Yuan released me. "Okay. I can go along with it." I rolled my eyes before sighing with amusement. I got up, shivering from the contact of the air against my nude skin. I quickly went to get some clothes to wear. "Anyway, you should also go to the headquarters or else Yggdrasil would become suspicious. "I didn't want to reveal the real reason, not wanting to remember what tomorrow had in store for us. As my back was to Yuan, I didn't see him nod and get up too to change himself.

* * *

"Is this place okay for you?" I asked when we had stopped in front of a high class Chinese restaurant and Yuan looked bristly at the building. "Hum... I'm not sure I can afford to eat there." He said, slightly embarrassed. I smiled warmly at him. "Don't worry about that, it's on me." He choked while looking at me with wide eyes. "What? No way!Kratos, you already offered me too many things, it's already more than enough! If it goes on like this, I'll end up depending on you far too much and that's not something I want!" I sighed and lowered my eyes to avoid Yuan's gaze. After having told these words, Yuan also became ill-at-ease, simply because he couldn't depend on me for we would never see each other again. I would have preferred not to be reminded of it, at least not before tomorrow. I hated being brought back to the sickening reality and seeing the look on his face, he was thinking the same thing as I.

"I... I'm okay with it." Yuan said and his tone was suddenly calmer as he was trying his best to smile again. Such a change in attitude pained my heart, but I swallowed my hurt to smile in return. However, these smiles were false and the atmosphere around us was heavy. We needed to think of something else and fast.

I entered the restaurant, followed by Yuan and a waitress immediately came to meet us. She guided us to a table cut out from the others and we were glad as we could have some sort of intimacy. We were silent for some time, not knowing what to say as we looked over the menu to find what we wanted to eat. "Have you decided?" I asked minutes later as I closed my menu and put it down on the table. Yuan nodded. "I think I'll try the sautéed pork." I nodded with a small smile. "You'll see, it's delicious here." I said and Yuan returned my smile. The tension seemed to dissipate a little.

The waitress decided to take that moment to come back and see if we were ready to order our meal. We told her our choices and she left. "Have you already come here before?" Yuan asked to start up a conversation, not wanting silence to overwhelm us. I nodded. "Yes, it happened that some ministers wanted to eat here once in a while." I explained. "When the meetings drag out too much, we always end up at the restaurant." I added with a frown. I didn't particularly like the meetings with these important people. So when they carried out too much, it was horrible. At least, it was an occasion to know of good restaurants. Yuan threw me a compassionate look before changing the subject as we were waiting for our meal.

When it finally arrived and we began to fill our stomach, I asked Yuan if he wanted to do something special in the afternoon. He became thoughtful with his sticks lifted up to his lips. "Would you mind a walk in the park?" He finally asked with a smile and I answered right away. "It seems to me like a good idea. I'm up for a walk." I threw him with a warm smile.

We finished eating, talking all the while sometimes and staying silent the rest of the time, when no subject came to mind. It was like the fact Yuan was leaving tomorrow kept us in our dark thoughts and prevented us from speaking, like nothing would happen. I had to say I didn't like it.

Yuan didn't object this time when I payed the bill, simply looking outside in the meantime. He surely didn't want to face the same feeling of unease as before. I was glad for it. Then I rose up and offered him my hand to help him up while a hesitant smile played on my lips.

When we were finally out of the restaurant, Yuan regained some of his cheerfulness as he guided me to the park where he wanted us to take our walk. I followed him warmly, taking advantage of the warm sun shining above us. I thanked the weather that seemed to be on our side. Our feet quickly guided us to the Utsubo park and I knew why Yuan wanted to come here. I could see from here the garden of roses that was a real wonder and despite the noisy town around it, the park was shrouded in a reassuring and soothing calm. It felt like the trees followed the main path and were protecting this place without any respite, as if they wanted the people that came here to find some inside peace without the problems of the city coming to bother them. It was like another completely different world.

"It's beautiful." I said softly and Yuan looked at me with a perplexed expression. "Is it your first time here?" He asked with curiosity and I shook my head. "I was living in a different district, so I never got to bring Lloyd here." My lover leaned his head sideways as he threw a glance on the environment around us. "Still, Utsubo is a well-known park and many people come here at least once, especially with their children. It's rather surprising you never came here with Lloyd, even though you weren't living near here." I had a melancholic and tired sigh. "To tell you the truth, I rarely had the occasion to bring Lloyd to play outside. Yggdrasil wasn't giving me many occasions to leave the headquarters and I had nearly no time to spend with my family." My gaze got lost between the trees as my thoughts flew to my regrets. Regrets for having neglected my son so much.

Yuan had a compassionate smile. "Then welcome to the Utsubo park." I laughed softly while shaking my head lightly. There was no way I would let myself drown in dark thoughts right now. I had an entire afternoon with Yuan and I had to take advantage of it. We went back to being silent, but it wasn't uncomfortable now.

After some time, I felt his hand slip in mine hesitantly. When I let my gaze travel to him, I noticed he was looking elsewhere, seeming thoughtful. I easily guessed what must be on his mind; it was the last time we would be able to take a walk so peacefully like this, hand in hand. I squeezed his hand gently and kissed his temple. "Don't think about it, not now." I whispered and he nodded slowly.

My eyes roamed the road ahead of us, looking at the children running all around the place while laughing joyfully as their parents watched them from afar, sitting on the benches. I was jealous of them as no worries seemed to affect them.

"Kratos?" I turned my head towards Yuan who was still not looking in my direction. His face bore a tortured and focused expression, which worried me deeply. "What's wrong?" I asked softly, putting my fingers under his chin and turning his face my way. He sighed before answering. "I... I have to apologize. I need to do to it before... I just need to." I arched an eyebrow at his words, trying to understand. What had Yuan done wrong? "Apologize? I don't understand..." I began, but my lover shook his head. "You'll understand when I'll explain, but don't interrupt me, okay?" I nodded, rather perplexed and waited for his explanations.

"I want to apologize for having hurt you so much and for not listening to you. Since the beginning of this story, all I ever did is being stubborn about everything. I dove head-first into this case and infiltrated the organization without asking for your opinion, without even _thinking_ about what _you_ wanted. You warned me that it would be too dangerous, but I didn't listen to you..." I opened my mouth to answer, but he put his finger on my lips. "I told you to let me finish." I scowled at that, not liking to see him degrade himself like that. The past couldn't be changed and I didn't hold anything against him. "And not only did I not listen to you, I also hurt you numerous times while being so egoistical. I could have been caught, or worse, be killed as I always ran ahead blindly without thinking about the consequences and what it did to you. I really needed to apologize for being such a complete idiot." He finished and I stopped walking, looking intensely at him. I opened my mouth to reprimand him. I couldn't believe he was still depreciating himself that much as I was sure I had clearly told him I would never be angry at him. However, I only let out a frustrated sigh while letting my hand travel through my hair. "Idiot." I whispered on a tone much softer that I had planned seconds ago. Yuan dropped his gaze and didn't reply, which didn't help my mood. I would have preferred him to throw me a dark glance and getting angry.

I took his face between my hands and my eyes met his. "Yuan, you didn't need to apologize for all this. I thought I was clear that I had forgiven you for everything that had happened, like you have forgiven me for the mistakes I did." He frowned and was about to answer, but I continued, not giving him time to do so. "And even though I was angry by some things you did, it doesn't mean that I'm not grateful for them! Yuan, because of you, I was able to have a lead on Yggdrasil that gets me closer and closer to finding the evidence needed to imprison him. And because of you, I didn't have to kill; you prevented me from doing so, from dirtying my hands. I still would have preferred you to use other means, but I thank you for having helped me. So don't apologize, because I'm not holding anything against you." I dropped a tender kiss on his lips and he blushed furiously before responding, closing his eyes.

I released him and threw him a radiant smile. "Are you feeling better now?" The red on his cheeks didn't disappear right away and he nodded, smiling in return. "Yes. Come on, let's take advantage of our afternoon before it leaves us behind." He took my hand again and pulled me along as I laughed at his new-found spirit.

* * *

"You didn't forget anything, did you?" I softly asked Yuan even though the words were tearing me apart. Yuan looked at the boxes near the entrance and to the suitcase he was carrying with him before nodding slowly with a sad gaze. "I think I've got everything. I'll still look around the apartment once more later to make sure." He said lowly, not having the heart to smile.

It was the morning of that fateful day. In a few hours, Yuan would leave to get on the plane that would lead him to Fukushima. It would not only mean that he would be separated from everyone he loved as long as Yggdrasil was free, but also that we would never see each other again. Because when Yggdrasil would be put under arrest, Bryant would gladly arrest me at the same time, happy to see me rot in jail. Of course, I had deserved it, but I would spend so many years locked up that we would never have the chance to meet each other again. Furthermore since we didn't know how much time it would take to finally arrest Yggdrasil. It may take months, years even!

"Please be cautious when you'll get there." I whispered while controlling my voice. I didn't want to let it shake; I wanted to look strong in the very end so that my last image in Yuan's mind would at least look respectable. "Eat and sleep well, okay?" I told him, knowing the many bad habits he held onto before I came into his life. My lover nodded again before lifting his sad gaze into mine. "And can I count on you to take care of my apartment?" He asked and I clearly heard his voice shake as he barely held in the tears. "Of course I will." I stopped myself from adding "as long as I can" because once in jail, I won't be able to look after "our" home.

I looked at the hour on my watch. I had to go to work and it was killing me. I would have liked to accompany him to the airport to properly say goodbye to him, but I couldn't. I had missed on many hours of work already and Yggdrasil was surely suspicious. Furthermore, it may be a good thing that I couldn't. Goodbyes at the airport as I would see him leave would have been even more agonizing.

"I have to go now." I whispered as I took Yuan's face between my hands to kiss him tenderly. When he answered my touch, I felt something moist and salty on my lips and I knew Yuan couldn't stop his tears anymore. When I released him, he was crying freely. "N-no. Don't go. Don't leave me! I don't want to go! Please, do something!" He sputtered under his tears growing more painful. "Kidnap me and take me far away. Find something, please! I don't want to be separated from you, I love you so much!" Yuan exclaimed while vainly trying to wipe away the tears still rolling down his cheeks. That sight tore my heart apart and I pulled him tightly to me, whispering sweet words to comfort him, trying to stay calm myself as I was desperately failing. Agony was slowly showing on my features. "You know that it's impossible." I answered with sadness, laying my cheek on the top of his head. "If I could do it, if I could find the way, I would gladly give anything to do what it takes. But I can't. Not only because Yggdrasil would hunt us down without despite, but also because Bryant would be mad at me for the rest of my life." I trying joking to calm him down, but it didn't work at all.

Seeing he was still crying, I released him and pushed him away a little to put a hand on his cheek and lay my forehead against his to take a better look at his eyes. "Yuan, please; look at me." He opened his eyes he had kept close all this time. They were still gleaming with tears. "I know it's hard. I know it's sad too. I'm hurting inside as much as you are. But please, I want to see you smile one last time. I don't want my last memory of you to be in tears. I wouldn't be able to bear it; it would hurt too much. I know it's tough, but please, smile for me." I asked with a sad smile on my lips. My lover's eyes widened in surprise at my demand before he tried to calm himself a little. He wiped the tears on his cheeks again and took deep breaths to calm down. Then, the corners of his mouth softly stretched into a small smile. I felt my heart warm up a little at that as I was happy he managed to answer my demand.

I gently kissed the corners of his eyes still moist before catching his lips in a demanding kiss that he responded eagerly. We parted moments later, but kept as close as we could, still feeling the warmth of our combined breathing. "I love you." I whispered with all the love I could muster. "Please, don't ever forget it. I love you more than anything in the world; you are the most precious person I have. Even if we are far away from each other, I'll always love you and will always be with you, okay?" I could see that his eyes were watering again, even though he was making great efforts to not cry again as he nodded. "I love you too. I'll think of you everyday, I promise." I smiled to him and kissed his forehead tenderly. "I have to go now. Goodbye, Yuan..." I whispered as I released him, feeling my heart suddenly break into pieces. I offered him the last genuine smile my heart could muster and he did the same. Then, slowly, like I wanted time to suddenly stop, I opened the door and threw a last languorous gaze at Yuan before leaving the apartment and closing the door behind me.

"... And farewell."

I let a single tear roll down my cheek as I felt my heart stop completely in my chest. Here we were. I would never see him again. It was all over. Never again would I be able to tease him and see him get mad like an enraged cat; never again would I hear him get outraged over nothing. His smile would be nothing more than a memory. His welcoming warmth as he cuddled next to me would be gone like a sigh. I would never again be able to see him sleep in front of his computer in the kitchen like so many times before. And as soon as I tasted his "I love you!" that we shared, as soon they were cruelly torn away from me. Why? It was so... unfair! I couldn't cry, not now, not when I was still too close to him. I was going to the headquarters; I couldn't let Yggdrasil see me this vulnerable either. I could cry later. Right now, I needed to be strong for the both of us.

My feet guided me slowly out of the building and to my car as if it was trying to give me time to absorb the pain and the reality of it all. I would never see him again; destiny had cruelly torn us apart. My fists clenched tightly. It was all Yggdrasil's fault. It was because of him that we were now down to this point. I would make sure to throw him into jail as soon as possible so Yuan could come back home and near the ones he loved. Of course, I wouldn't be a part of them, but it was the price to pay so he could come back and live a normal life again. And it was a price I was ready to pay. I noticed it was sunny outside as the sky stretched endlessly without a single cloud in it. I didn't know if I should feel bitter by that sight. It was like the weather itself was trying to mock us, to show us that we should never have been together in the beginning. If it had rained at the least, I would have had another reason to feel depressed and in agony. Even time was against us. What irony, really.

I looked at the building one last time as Yuan was still in it before leaving for the headquarters, making as if I hadn't noticed him looking discreetly at me from behind the curtains of the window. It was better that way, for both of us.

* * *

I was getting more impatient by the minute as I roamed the hallways in search of this forsaken shatei-gashira. Why did he always have to be around at the worst moments, prowling around like an eagle watching his prey, but was nowhere to be found when I needed him? It was simply inconceivable and it was irritating me greatly. He wasn't in his office, nor in the places he was more susceptible to be seen at and not even hanging around Yggdrasil. So where could he possibly be?

As I was walking down the hallways in a quick step, having searched all of the floors above, I walked by a stairwell leading to the basement without a second thought, continuing my way forward. However, I quickly realized something. I had searched the entire building and Zelos was nowhere in sight. Yet, he rarely left the headquarters on a day of work. Could it mean that he...

My gaze went to the stairwell I had just walked in front of. I didn't like this, not at all. I had promised myself for years that never again would I get down there. However, there were high possibilities that the idiot teen was there, sticking his nose where he shouldn't. And since I needed him right now, I didn't have a choice but search the floor under me. Maybe I wouldn't need to get near the place I hated so much either.

I walked down the stairs to the first basement floor and having reached it, I stopped to look at my left and then right, wondering where I should start searching. I was about to choose my right when a weak sound caught my attention. It sounded like a scream, but it was so weak that I couldn't be sure. I listened closely again, but only silence answered this time. I was sure my imagination had played a trick on me, until my ears caught the sound again. Alert, I looked at the stairwell leading even lower. If I relied on what I had heard, the scream seemed to come from the lower levels. I went down the stairs and arrived on the second basement floor, stopping to listen once again. I heard another scream, much clearer this time. It was coming from the hallway on my right. I walked along it, wondering if it was the right thing to do. After all, this place where I was going was the dungeon, so it could be one of Yggdrasil's prisoners. If it was the case, I couldn't do anything to help him and going to see him would only worsen my culpability. In that case, maybe I should turn back the way I came?

Still, my feet continued to guide me in the direction the screams were coming from, getting clearer as I got closer. It wasn't cries of fear or pain, but rather of pure anger, which was strange in itself. Intrigued, I frowned and continued walking forward.

But the more I went on, the more I came to realize I was walking in the direction of the amphitheatre Yggdrasil's father had liked so much. The same place that had been the beginning of all of my misfortune in this organization. I stopped hesitantly as I had swore to myself to never come back here again. Still, I was curious about the screams I was hearing, wondering what could be happening here. Furthermore since the more I got closer, the more these yells... strangely looked like Zelos' voice. Could he be locked up in here? But why?

Gathering my courage, I continued my way forward, letting myself be guided by the voice getting louder, now accompanied by loud knocks on a harsh surface: certainly a wall or a door. I finally arrived in front of a heavy iron door from where the knocks where coming from, producing a thunderous noise. "Zelos?" I called and suddenly, the sound ceased, making place to the complete silence. Soon, the teenager went on talking rapidly. "Kratos! You couldn't possibly know how glad I am to see you here! Would you mind getting me out of here?" I heard his nervous voice coming from the other side of the door and I arched an eyebrow, folding my arms on my chest. "And why should I do it? You got yourself in this situation because you were still sticking your nose where you shouldn't, right? Didn't you deserve the consequences of your actions?" Of course, I didn't really had the intention of letting him rot in there as I needed him. But I couldn't stop myself from taking delight in his embarrassing situation.

"You know what, Kratos, I'm not really in the mood of playing that game right now. I wasn't banging against the door for fun, you know. So be nice and open the goddamn door!" I leaned against the door, an amused smile on my lips. "I still find it's not enough of a reason." I replied and I heard the teenager's frustrated sigh. "Because if you don't do it, nobody will. Not even that scumbag of Yggdrasil since he wants to let me rot in there!" Zelos hissed with furor and my eyes widened in surprise at his words and change of tone. What did he just said? Did he really called our superior a _scumbag_? What could possibly have done Yggdrasil to put his subordinate – the one who admired his so much – in such a state of anger?

I turned around to face the door and spotted a clavier on which the code surely needed to be entered. "What is the code?" I asked simply and I heard him sigh with relief before giving me the numbers. Soon, a "click" resounded and the door opened. I was welcomed with a room filled with filing drawers and folders containing multiple reports. Reports I had no idea were being kept in here. I frowned. "What is this place?"

"Yggdrasil's secret room." Zelos explained as he dusted of his pants. "He keeps here all the reports he wants to keep as secret information. Besides, it was here I found Kvar's report on the murder of your family." I slowly turned my gaze on him. It would mean that this room was... "You have in here all the evidence you need against Yggdrasil." Zelos finished my thought for me as if he had read my mind. My eyes lighted up at this fact. Now that I had this information, I could easily call Bryant and Yggdrasil would be put under arrest. Yuan wouldn't have to stay far away from his home for a long time; he would be able to come back! Of course, we wouldn't see each other again, but at least he would be at the sides of the people he loved most and it was enough for me.

"And why on earth were you locked up in here?" I asked Zelos which expression was becoming more bitter by the moment. "Because Yggdrasil caught me searching through this room. Because he knew I was the one who gave you the report on Kvar as apparently, you would never come near this place. It seems he was wrong." I shook my head. "No, he was right. I only came here because I had searched for you everywhere else and I heard your screams when I went to the basement."

I then became suspicious by the teenager's behaviour. "Tell me, why would you suddenly agree in helping me against Yggdrasil? I can understand you're furious against him for locking you up in here, but you went against his orders and he only punished you for it. Aren't you the kind to gently listen to him to redeem yourself?" I asked carefully, wondering if this wasn't a trap set up for me. However, Zelos gave me a file he was holding for a while now and I read rapidly through the document. As I was reading, my face stayed still, without any emotion to betray it. Anyway, I wasn't surprised by what I was reading. It was so like Yggdrasil to cruelly kill innocent people and manipulate the others.

I now understood the teenager's anger. "I see. Everything is clear now except for one thing. If you have discovered everything, why didn't Yggdrasil made you suffer? Why didn't he kill you? It's not like him at all." No, the most I tried to understand, the less I saw how he could have been so merciful towards the teenager.

"Because I have been loyal to him for all the years I have worked for him. And he also mentioned wanting to keep his "thirst for blood" for later." I became even more confused at his words. What could our superior be plotting for absolutely wanting to keep his torture to someone else? That person had surely done something serious, even more serious than Zelos' treason. It was very strange.

But it wasn't important. Now, I needed to go to Yuan's apartment to call Bryant and ask him to bring all of Okinawa's police forces – and maybe those of the closest districts – to stop Yggdrasil and his men.

"I will need your help." I said to Zelos as I gave him back the document, thinking he might want to keep it. "I will take care of calling the police; they will have all the evidence they need here and Yggdrasil won't be able to find any excuses to get out of this mess. However, I can't do it here. So meanwhile, I want you to take out all the reports that concern Yggdrasil directly to make sure that when the police arrives, they won't have to search. I'll also take care of occupying Yggdrasil until the police gets here with the evidence necessary to stop him so he won't be able to escape." Zelos nodded, understanding at the same time that by staying here, he wouldn't have any suspicions from Yggdrasil if he came back here to make sure Zelos hadn't managed to escape.

So I left the headquarters swiftly and the more rapidly I could, but without running so as not to attract attention on myself.

* * *

I ran to the apartment as my heart beat like crazy. I couldn't believe it; I still couldn't believe that I finally had all the evidence needed against Yggdrasil. He would finally be dragged into court. He would pay for all the crimes he had committed and his victims would finally be able to rest in peace. I couldn't ask for more, after all the efforts we had put into his demise, Yuan and me.

I quickly entered Yuan's apartment, searching through my cellphone with feverish fingers for Bryant's number. I wanted to talk to him directly as it would prove easier. It was a chance Yuan had given me his number just before leaving.

Finally finding it, I was about to call him, but the phone of the apartment rang out suddenly. Frowning, I decided it would be best to answer as it could prove to be important. I could always leave the message to Bryant so he could give it to Yuan in time. I picked up the receiver. "Yes, here's Kratos Auri – "

"Aurion, _**where's Yuan**__?_"

I jumped when I heard Bryant's voice explode in the receiver. This was a real coincidence. But was did he meant by that? "What do you mean, where's Yuan? He's supposed to have taken his plane about now, right?" The adrenalin and excitation of having the evidence against Yggdrasil quickly disappeared, replaced by worry. What was going on?

"No, he did not! He never shown himself at the airport! You delayed him, right?" He blamed me with his strong voice and I felt my blood freeze in my veins. I couldn't answer as my brain furiously searched for a place where Yuan could be. He wasn't in the apartment as he would have come to greet me when I entered and his luggage was not here either, which meant he left with the intention of going to the airport. However, according to Bryant, he never got there. So where...?

My eyes widened with horror as one of Zelos' sentences suddenly resounded in my head.

_"And he also mentioned wanting to keep his "thirst for blood" for later."_

That person was none other than Yuan, I was sure of it. After all, Yggdrasil had been tormenting Yuan for suspecting him of being my lover. And the only reason I saw for Yuan not having shown up at the airport was having fallen into a trap of my superior. I was sure of it. Because if I hadn't managed to change his mind and make him stay, then no one would have succeeded in it. It was simply impossible.

"It's Yggdrasil." I hissed on a low tone, suddenly feeling anger swell up inside of me.

"What?" This time, Bryant seemed to have regained his calm, getting alert. Yggdrasil's name had quickly caught his attention. I explained myself. "Yggdrasil is the one keeping Yuan, I can't see any other explanation! Yggdrasil mentioned something about keeping his torture for someone special today and it can only be him." I felt myself turning numb as I said those words. I wanted to leave the receiver right now and go in search of Yuan to save him, but I had to explain to Bryant before doing so. He might be able to help me.

"Wait a minute, Aurion. Are you really sure of what you're saying? We're not certain it's really Yggdrasil who is keeping him..."

"Yes, it's him!" I cut him harshly. "So hurry and bring with you the more men you can to the headquarters! And if Yuan is not there, if he's not with Yggdrasil, you'll still need it. I finally found the evidence necessary against him, so you'll be able to arrest him." Now that it was said, I didn't wait for an answer and hung up the receiver. I couldn't stay here, I needed to leave and go in search of Yuan. I had lost too much time already.

I jumped again when my cellphone rang and I groaned with irritation at the new disturbance. I took the object and looked at the screen to see the name of the person calling me. My eyes creased in anger straight away. "Yggdrasil..." I hissed through my teeth while picking up the call, making for the door to leave the apartment. "Where. Is. He?" I pronounced every word slowly between my teeth, containing my anger.

"What could you be talking about?" I heard Yggdrasil's sugary and falsely innocent voice on the other end. It made me want to puke. "I'm only calling you to know where you are, dear Kratos!" It was beginning to be too much for my nerves. "Don't play with me!" I spit out, having a hard time trying to retain my anger. "I'll repeat it and you better answer me honestly this time. _Where. Is. __**He?**_"

My superior let out a pouting exclamation. "You're not funny at all!" I groaned with irritation. Did he really thought I was in the mood to play right now? "All right. We are in the basement of the headquarters, in a place you know very well..." He said with malice. I didn't wait for him to say anymore. I had enough information. I violently hang up my cellphone before leaving in a hurry to the headquarters.

* * *

When I got there, I returned to the room where I had left Zelos. Anyway, it was on my way. I dialled the code of the door again and found the teen in the means of putting some files in a pile at his side. He turned around when he heard the door open and arched an eyebrow when seeing it was me. "There's a change in plan. As soon as the police arrives, I want you to tell them to go directly arrest Yggdrasil." Zelos seemed surprised by the change of plan. "Why?" I shook my head. "I don't have the time to explain. At the far end of this hallway, there is an amphitheatre. Inside, on the right, there's a stairway that goes down to the dungeons. Yggdrasil is there right as we speak." And without another word, I left the room and ran in the same direction I had just told the teenager. I had no time to lose as I didn't know what Yggdrasil had done to Yuan as of now and for how much a time.

I got to the hallway leading to the dungeons under the amphitheatre, frantically searching for the place Yggdrasil was hiding in, when I suddenly heard a strident, cold and cruel laugh. I recognized it right away and in a dark anger, I ran to the end of the hallway, where the laugh had come from. A closed door awaited me, but I didn't take the time to open it, launching a powerful kick in it, shattering it into thousands of pieces.

"Yggdrasil!" I screamed, already ready to snap his neck. However, I let my eyes a moment to take in the scene before me. My eyes stayed a short moment on something laying on the floor. A severed head, to be exact. It took me a moment to recognize the expression twisted with pain and terror and was horrified when I realized it was none other than Botta, Yuan's precious friend. My eyes were already creasing with anger as my mind cut itself from any feeling of horror in front of this sight. I didn't let my attention on Botta for long as I saw on the corner of my eye Yggdrasil standing up, pulling out from the back of his victim a knife stained with blood.

When he stood up, he revealed to my eyes the sigh of his victim; I could see a body laying on the floor with his blue hair stained in blood. Even if I couldn't see his face, I knew it was Yuan and he seemed badly hurt; his entire back was bleeding and seeing the crimson pool on the floor under him, I could guess his chest was in no better condition. One of his hands had a strange form, proving his bones had been crushed to dust. As for his other hand, Yggdrasil had just pulled out another knife from it. Yuan had only a weak spasm. He didn't budge, didn't scream, didn't even moan. He had lost too much blood and was surely on the verge of losing consciousness if he didn't already. And if I didn't act soon, he could die!

Yggdrasil turned to face me with a mad smile twisting his lips. "Kratos! You're finally here, my love! I was beginning to wonder if you would come in time. I don't think he'll handle my little game for a long time still. Really, it's a shame." He snickered and I couldn't retain my anger anymore. I turned my attention on him. I had enough of him already and he had just did the unforgivable. "What did you do to him?" I exclaimed heinously, slowly getting closer. I could feel the rage run in my veins and through my entire being. It was controlling me now. I could feel it whispering to my ear, telling me to get at this despicable being standing in front of me, to make him suffer and pay for all the pain he inflicted on my love.

Yggdrasil leaned his head side-way with an innocent expression on his face. "Hmm? Oh, I only showed him who he really is! A sinner, nothing but trash that defiles everyone around him! After all, not only did he defile you, but also my dear sister!" I felt my blood freeze as I understood he knew about Yuan; he knew he was an undercover agent. But that feeling didn't stay long as my blood began to boil again when Yggdrasil harshly gripped Yuan's long hair in his fist and lifted his unconscious body – while shortening the chains to keep him in this position – , doing so to show me the kanji freshly made and still bleeding that decorated his chest. _Sinner_. My eyes darkened and I slowly walked forward. I could hear it stronger now, that murderous rage, even if I couldn't understand yet what it was saying as I was too preoccupied by this monster standing in front of me.

Yggdrasil didn't notice anything and had a pouting expression when he saw Yuan wasn't conscious. "Oh, that won't do!" He exclaimed and stuck the knife he was still holding into the policeman's stomach. The latter let out a sound of pain and his eyes brusquely opened, conscious once more as his face twisted in pain from the new wound he received. That had been the breaking point. Now at Yggdrasil's side, I suddenly grabbed him by the collar and my fist collided harshly with his face. He fell to the floor with a cry of pain before throwing me a terrified and irate look. "K-Kratos?" But no matter what he would say, I wouldn't answer. I was blinded by the most ominous anger I had in all my life. Without waiting for my superior to move, I kicked him in the stomach with unrestrained strength and he slid to the wall, his back colliding with it harshly, tearing an exclamation of pain from his throat. I was about to join him again, but two of Yggdrasil's men took this time to react and grabbed my arms, pulling me backwards and retaining me. I didn't fight them right away, waiting for the right moment. Because strangely, in my intense anger, I was able to control myself much more than usual. I was in a terrifyingly and coldly calm as a heinous and calculated aura shrouded me. This time, I could perfectly understand what was being whispered to my ear; two words that kept repeating again and again in my mind: _Kill him!_

My superior stood up with difficulty while laughing softly and nervously. "W-What's happening to you, Kratos? Don't tell me that... trash, that mongrel dog is really more important than me!" He cried out with the furor back in his eyes. His smile was crazier than ever and seemed to eat his entire face as he took out something from inside his pocket: a lighter. "Then I've got no choice but to get rid of him now! And what better way than to kill him the same way I did that witch! And with some chance, it might purify him, for his own good! But I wouldn't bet on it..." His body was shaking with his maniacal laughing as he turned towards the third man standing in the room. "Bring the oil in! We'll sprayed it over him so he'll burn!" He exclaimed on a joyful tone, like a kid would do when he was too excited from going to the amusement park.

I chose that time to get out of the men's hold on me. I twisted the arm of the first one in a swift movement before throwing him on the second one. They both lost their footing and fell on the ground. My feet met with the head of the first one and it collided with his companion's. Completely stunned, they stayed motionless on the ground. I didn't let my attention linger on them for long, letting it turn on the men that was about to leave the room to go fetch the oil. I struck him in the back and he staggered before turning around to face me. I took that opportunity to run up to him and kick him in the face. He flew into the wall behind him and didn't have time to react that I was on him once again. I broke his nose and hit his face against the wall to make sure he would be unconscious. I turned towards Yggdrasil who was about to grab Yuan, knife in hand to threaten me to stop. However, I ran to him in time and pushed him against the wall and far from Yuan before he had time to do anything. I took the wrist holding the knife and broke it in a swift movement. My superior yelled in pain and I threw him another violent hit in the stomach.

I wanted to make him suffer, to torture him like he had done to Yuan, to make him know everything he inflicted to his victims. I wanted him to understand pain and for him to die in unimaginable suffering. By my own hands, to add to his misfortune. I took the knife that he had dropped and stuck it into his shoulder, at the same place I had briefly saw on Yuan earlier. I took delight in hearing my superior's screams, a sound I had longed to hear for a very long time now. How good it was to hear them! "So, Yggdrasil? How does it feel to be tortured? You who love to make people suffer, don't you think it's better to experiment it firsthand?" I whispered softly, caressing the skin of his face with softness as I watched his blue eyes looking at me with terror. "Let me hear you just a little longer." I added and without warning, I turned the knife into the wound to hear him scream again as a grin of pleasure slid on my lips. He was going to die in the worst torments, I was going to make sure of it!

"Kratos, get a hold of yourself!" Yggdrasil exclaimed, panting and looking at me with a mix of fear, surprise and plea. "It's not like you! I don't know what's happening to you, but you have to come back to me!" He exclaimed, but I wasn't about to listen to him. My grin widened as I pulled the knife away from his shoulder and was preparing myself to plunge it into his stomach. "There's no way it's gonna happen!" I replied and was about to...

"Kratos..."

Yuan's weak and hoarse voice from behind me suddenly brought me back to reality and I turned towards him. The murderous rage that filled my dark pupils turned to surprise. My lover was fighting not to fall into unconsciousness once again and was looking at me with begging eyes. I could hear resonating in my mind words that I had completely forgotten. _"You promised me..."_ Yes, I had promised him that no more would I kill someone and Yggdrasil was one of those. Despite our mutual want to see him disappear from the surface of the Earth, Yuan was still trying to prevent me from committing the irreparable. I hesitated as all my furor and my thirst to kill was almost gone. That moment was enough for Yggdrasil and the men I had neglected earlier. Yuan's eyes widened in horror, like a warning, but it was already too late. A gunshot resounded and I suddenly felt a vivid pain in my arm, making me loosen my grip on Yggdrasil and stumbling backwards. I seethed in pain as I felt myself being dragged backwards and I saw Yggdrasil looking at me with anger, a gun securely held in his valid hand. However, his anger dissipated a little when he talked again. "I'm sorry, my love, but it was necessary. You are under some sort of spell and I had to bring you back to reality. I'm sure you understand. Now, please, let me get rid of him so everything can go back to normal, okay?"

He pointed the gun in Yuan's direction and terror was clearly written on every feature of his face as his body shook all over. His everything felt he was going to die and he was terrified by it.

I wasn't going to let this happen. Yggdrasil wouldn't touch a single hair on him again. So, ignoring the pain, I managed to struggle out of the men's grasp and ran in the direction of the man I loved. I got to him in time, circling him with my arms and protecting him at the exact time the gunshot exploded. Not moments later, a burning pain went through the top part of my back. It was only by clenching my teeth together harshly and with a strong will that I managed not to yell under the pain. I didn't want to worry Yuan more than necessary by showing my pain.

I slowly felt a moist liquid run down my back and being absorbed by my clothes. However, I couldn't care less about it. All that mattered was to know if Yuan was okay, that the bullet hadn't touched him also. I had to muster all my strength to focus my eyes on him as they were beginning to get blurred. "Are you okay?" I asked weakly, each word taking a considerable effort on my shaking body. I barely noticed his horrified eyes, nor his trembling as he was holding me in his arms to prevent me from falling and even less the tears that were beginning to gleam at the corner of his eyes. He slowly nodded, too lost to do anything else. I shown him a reassuring smile as I was relieved to know it. "That's good to know." I whispered and my trembling hand went to his cheek to softly caress his skin. Still, the only thing I could feel was the freezing cold which slowly took over my veins, my skin, my senses. I couldn't manage to feel his skin under my fingers turning white. Slowly, all my senses were leaving me.

I could only feel the pain and the burning wound on my back became even more agonizing. A wince of agony replaced the expression of relief on my face and darkness took hold of my vision as I collapsed in the arms of my lover, falling into unconsciousness.

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **I know, you must be mad that we ended it here, right? Our two heroes are in a dire predicament. What will happen to them?

So sorry, be we didn't have much of a choice. I hope we weren't too evil... XD

The end is coming in sight. There's only two chapters left. I hope you'll stay with us till the very end and thank you for having given us your support from the beginning!

Well, that's it for now. I wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year!

See you next time!


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **Warnings: There are some explicit scenes of torture in this chapter. You have been warned!

**Chapter 24

* * *

**

It was with an inexplicable feeling of happiness that I woke up the day after, flushed against Katos who was smiling tenderly at me. It wasn't long before I remembered the night filled with passion that we had spent. And the dull pain that was going through my lower back made it also hard to forget. But I didn't regret it. We had both needed it. I had the impression that a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I managed to leave my thoughts as I wanted to take advantage of the warmth Kratos was giving me.

But after some time, my lover told me that we had to get up and I tried to hold him back. I didn't want to get out of bed right away, because I knew that all the worries that had been plaguing us would come back at the same time. And I didn't want to remember what tomorrow had in store for us.

It was only when Kratos promised me we would have the entire afternoon to spend together and that we could go out to eat dinner that I accepted to get up. At least, we could spend the rest of the day together. It was a fair compromise.

In the morning, as I was about to finish doing my boxes deep in thoughts, the door bell rang out. Intrigued, I went to open it, revealing Bryant who was smiling gently at me. I was rather surprised to see him as I wasn't awaiting anyone this morning. "Good morning Yuan, can I come in?" He asked softly and I nodded, moving to the side so he could enter. As he was removing his jacket, his gaze dropped to the boxes I had brought near the entrance. His gaze became sad at the sight. I felt the need to draw his attention elsewhere. "Let's go to the kitchen to talk." I said on a tone I hoped neutral. Bryant followed me in silence. When we were both seated, he got a plane ticket out of his pocket and put it down on the table. "It's your plane ticket for tomorrow. The plane to Fukushima is departing tomorrow morning at ten o'clock." He explained and I didn't dare answer, only taking the ticket.

A moment of silence followed before I dared to speak. "I suppose then that the staging is ready." I said, letting my eyes focus on my superior once again. The gaze he was settling on me was one stained with sadness and regret. It seemed like my departure was affecting him greatly. "Yes. As soon as you'll have left, we'll set the plan in motion. We'll make them believe you have been killed in a gunfight. You'll be the target of a clan that's been fighting Yggdrasil for a while now." I had an ironic smile at that. "I see. Let's just hope Yggdrasil takes the bait." I replied with a bitter humour. Bryant leaned towards me and put a hand on mine, squeezing it with strength. "I'm really sorry that things had to end that way, Yuan. I never wanted to make you suffer." He whispered and I shook my head. "I know. It's not your fault. I should have known things would end up like this from the very beginning. It's entirely my fault." Bryant seemed to want to say something in answer to my words, but he found nothing to say. He didn't need to, anyway. Where things were standing, nothing could change what I was feeling and what would happen.

Something suddenly came to my mind. There was something I absolutely needed to tell Bryant. "Bryant, do you remember I asked you if Alicia had any family alive?" This time, he threw me a confused glance. "Yes..." He eluded, letting me continue. "It wasn't from curiosity. I had a good reason to ask you this. You told me she had a younger sister who had been kidnapped when she was only a child. Well, I found her; she is currently being forced to work for Yggdrasil and it has been so since her kidnapping." I saw surprise fill my superior's face at that. "H-how can this be? Are you sure of this?" I had a weak smile at that. "She looks much like Alicia. Her name is Presea. And despite the fact she was very young when they took her, she still remembers her older sister. There's no doubt about it." The seriousness in my tone made Bryant believe me. I saw it in his eyes. "You did well to tell me. I'll see to her liberation when Yggdrasil will be put under arrest." I was relieved to learn of it. Relieved to know that at least some people would regain something resembling a normal life at the end of this story. I really hoped Yggdrasil's imprisonment would come soon. Not for my sake, but for the sake of Presea, Botta, Bryant and Kratos. I hoped for it with all my heart.

* * *

Like we had agreed, Kratos brought me to a restaurant that seemed really out of my monetary means. But like always, when I told him so, Kratos told me he was going to pay for us both. I got carried away and without thinking, I told him I didn't want to grow to depend on him. I didn't realize straight away the effect of my words. It was only when Kratos turned his gaze away that I realized. He knew that it wouldn't be possible, as tomorrow I wouldn't be around anymore. I had cruelly recalled my departure to him. I could be so stupid sometimes. An uncomfortable silence followed, one that I didn't dare break. I couldn't happen to think about something other than my departure and it was breaking my heart.

It was only when Kratos asked me what I wanted to eat that the atmosphere lessened a little and it let me think about something else. Sometime in the dinner, he asked me what I wanted to do in the afternoon since he didn't have to go back to work in the afternoon. I thought about it for a short moment before I recalled a place I liked very much and I realized I had never been there with Kratos. While thinking back on it, we never had much time to spend together.

We finished our meal and I guided him to the Utsubo Park. I was surprised to learn Kratos had never come here before. But when he explained to me that he had barely had time to spend with his family, I understood and was feeling so much sadness for him. He had so little time with his family before they had been brutally torn away from him. And I was about to reopen the wounds of his heart. Of course, I wasn't going to die, but in the end it was the same thing. We would never see each other again.

I slipped my hand inside his own hesitantly, but I refused to look straight at his face. I didn't want him to worry by seeing the expression on my face. I couldn't manage to stop the trail of my thoughts; only knowing it was one of our last moments together was tearing me apart. He looked at me for a short moment before begging me not to think about it. And the worst of all, I began to be disgusted by myself. For everything. Which I told him. I apologized for having hurt him so many times, for not having listened to him and for having been so egoistical. If only I had listened to him, we probably wouldn't be down to this... But maybe we wouldn't be together either.

My thoughts were brutally cut out when Kratos called me an idiot. I couldn't count the number of times he had told me this. He took my face between his hands and told me again that he had forgiven me for everything. And he thanked me. He thanked me for having helped him in this investigation.

I blushed despite myself when Kratos kissed me tenderly, not caring about the fact we weren't alone. And his radiant smile afterwards managed to make all my worries go away, at least for the rest of the afternoon. He was right. We had to take advantage of our last day together.

* * *

Here we were. It was the moment I was seeing Kratos for the last time. He was about to leave for his work and I was going to take my plane in a few hours. We were near the entrance and my luggage was ready. Kratos asked me if I was sure I hadn't forgotten anything. I knew he was asking me this only to delay the moment when we would have to part from each other. For good. So, I couldn't bring myself to smile when I answered. I didn't want to be separated from him. We had had so little time together!

I felt myself about to break down when I asked him to take care of my apartment. He swore that he would, but he didn't need to say anymore for me to understand he would do it as long as he could. Because he would lose his liberty once Yggdrasil would be put under arrest. My heart clenched painfully at the thought.

But I couldn't stop my tears anymore when he said he had to leave, kissing me tenderly. No, it was too hard! I didn't want this to happen. It was too horrible! So I begged him not to go, I begged him to kidnap me and for us to flee far away together, far from Yggdrasil and Bryant. And as I was talking, my sobbing grew in intensity. I couldn't stop my thoughts or the uncontrollable trembling of my body.

Kratos suddenly took me into a strong embrace and tried to calm me, even if he was probably agonizing inside. After some time, he pushed me away slowly and asked me something that surprised me. He wanted to see my smile. He didn't want his last memory of me being in tears. I didn't thought to be able to grant his request, but I tried to smile after calming a little. I tried it for him. Kratos kissed the corner of my eyes before catching my lips in a demanding kiss. I responded to the touch desperately, knowing that this would be our last kiss. When we parted, he told me again that he loved me from the bottom of his heart and that it would never change. I managed to answer him despite my pain, telling him that I would never forget him. And it was true. I knew that never again would I be able to love someone else. My heart was his only and it would be for the rest of my existence. He kissed my forehead one last time as he had done so many times and told me goodbye. He walked away slowly to the exit.

It took me all of my willpower not to join him and try to stop him again. He threw me a last languorous look before leaving the room. As soon as I saw the door close, leaving me completely alone, I felt my heart shatter into millions of pieces. I was paralysed for several long minutes, unable to do anything as I was trying to assimilate what had just happened. And when I did, I ran to the window showing the parking lot. I wanted to see his face one last time. But he didn't turn around. I saw him enter his car and start up the engine. Soon, he was gone. I stayed motionless for a long time, staring at the parking lot outside that bore no interest anymore. Then, without really being conscious of it, I mechanically walked to my bedroom and sat on my bed. It was only then that I burst out into tears. I cried like I had never cried before.

Why did it have to end up like this?

* * *

Several hours went by and it was the time. I had to leave and take the plane that would get me far away from Kratos. I was terrified. I didn't want to stand up; I didn't want to leave my apartment. Because I knew that once I would leave, there was no turning back. But I didn't have a choice. I had to go or else, it would only mean I would spit on the chance I was given to live.

I had stopped crying for a while now. I didn't have tears to shed anymore as my heart seemed dead.

I managed to get up and went to the entrance with mechanical movements. I had already packed the car and there was only my suitcase left to bring with me. I turned around to face my apartment and looked at it with sadness. I would never see it again. And all the memories that were lingering here would also go up in smoke with time. All these days, these stolen moments spent with Kratos... Agony showed on my features and I almost gave up. I didn't have the strength to go back to a life of solitude, now that I had known happiness at Kratos' side. He had given me back a reason to live.

Suddenly, the phone of the apartment rang and I jumped. I was paralyzed for several seconds, not knowing if I should take the call. After all, I had to go right now, but... but if it was Kratos? Or Bryant? It might be important. Finally taking a decision, I put down my suitcase and rushed to the phone and I quickly picked up the receiver. "Hello?" A moment of silence answered me before I heard a voice on the other side. "It's Botta." His voice sounded strange and it alarmed me right away. But before I had time to place a word, he spoke again, on a low and quick tone. "Is Kratos with you right now?" His strange question confused me and I took a moment before answering. "...No, he went to work several hours ago." My voice sounded confused. I didn't understand... Why did Botta ask such a question? I heard him swear under his breath, which confused me even more. "Botta, what's going on?" I tried to hide the anxiety in my voice. "Okay. Listen to me and don't interrupt me, I don't have much time."

What the hell was going on here? I managed to stay silent, even though tons of questions were burning my lips. "I'm at Yggdrasil's headquarters right now. I had some business with him, but he cancelled our meeting at the last minute. He is hysterical right now. He received a message from a clan that's been his enemy for many years now. They – they are asking for an enormous ransom, as well as Yggdrasil's withdrawal from the underworld in exchange for Kratos' freedom. If he doesn't cooperate, they'll kill him." As soon as he ended his sentence, I almost dropped the phone under the impact. What? How was this possible? It must be a mistake! "It can't be! How did they get their hands on him?" I exclaimed, feeling myself turn pale. "They were surely watching him for several days now. All I know is that he never got to the headquarters. They surely captured him on the way from your apartment." I couldn't stand straight anymore and I collapsed to the ground as I did my utmost to keep a semblance of calm.

Kratos was in danger! I had to do something, I couldn't let him die! Yggdrasil might have a mad obsession for him, I wasn't sure he was ready to give up his organization for him. "Where – Do you know where they are? Where are they keeping him?" I asked on a shaking and urgent tone. "Yuan, you can't be serious? If you go there to help him, you'll get yourself killed! Not only that, but you'll also put his life in danger if things go wrong!" He replied hurriedly, but still on a low tone. He was surely taking great risks by warning me, but I wasn't in the mood to think about it for now. "Where is he?" I repeated my request on a firmer tone. A silence of several seconds followed my asking. "... They are keeping him in a warehouse at the corner of Iwake Street and Nabane Street. The exchange will happen there. I beg of you, please be cautious." He added in a whisper at the end. "I swear. You too, take care." I said before quickly hanging up. I ran to the entrance and put on my coat. I took my guns and loaded them before putting them at my waist. I quickly got out of the apartment, forgetting completely about the plane I had to take and the importance of leaving. I had only one thing in mind: helping Kratos.

* * *

I couldn't remember ever driving so fast in my entire life. In only five minutes, I had parked my car near the warehouse Botta had told me about and walked the rest of the way. I was sure, by seeing the two men standing by the entrance, weapons in hand, that it was the right place. I frowned as I thought the place wasn't well guarded considering who they were keeping captive in it, but I didn't pay it attention more than necessary. I had no time to lose. Who knows what they would do to Kratos if Yggdrasil gives them his refusal? I didn't even want to think about it.

I reached the building without a sound and walked along one side of the warehouse. When I got to the corner, I threw a glance at the two guards blocking the way and I swore under my breath. There was no way I could avoid being shot down to death if I show up right now. I had to act quickly. I pulled out one of my guns, getting ready. Softly, I knocked on the metal against me, loud enough for the sound to be heard by the two guards.

"Hey! Did you hear that?" One of them asked. "Yeah, I think I heard something. I'll go and check it out." The other answered and I heard sounds of steps coming in my direction. I got myself ready, listening intently to the sound of his steps.

When he was about to turn the corner and see me, I attacked him. I quickly caught the arm that held the gun and pulled him to me. Before he had the time to do anything, I twisted his wrist, making him let go of the weapon before letting my elbow sink into his Adam's apple. The yakuza collapsed without a sound. Of course, the disappearance of his companion didn't go unnoticed to the second guard. "Yamaguchi? Is there something wrong?" He asked, confusion clear in his voice. He swore when no one answered him.

Without losing another precious second, I quickly got out of hiding and aimed my gun onto the guard's hand who, like I had thought, was holding his radio to warn the others of the presence of an intruder. I pulled the trigger and the bullet flew into his hand with a deadly aim. The man let out a scream of pain and his radio fell to the ground. Not letting him the time to gather himself up, I ran to him and knocked him out cold with the handle of my gun. With the entrance clear, I slipped inside the warehouse.

It was dark inside. I could barely make out the shape of the many boxes filling up the space inside. I carefully walked alongside the boxes, searching for any sign of life, no matter it be Kratos or one of the yakuza. I saw no one and it worried me greatly. But still, as long as I could find Kratos and bring him back with me safe and sound, nothing else really mattered.

I made my way between the boxes, making my way to the centre of the warehouse. It was then that I made out, despite the darkness, a form sitting on a chair in the centre of the place. His head was down and his hands were tied up to the back of the chair behind him. My heart began to beat faster as Kratos was right in front of me. I threw a quick glance around, still not getting out of hiding. When I saw no one was around, I rushed to Kratos without a second thought. I wasn't even thinking about the fact that it was strange there was no one around to keep an eye on him.

"Kratos, oh Kratos, it's me..." I whispered with anxiety when I stood next to him. Panic overwhelmed me when I received no response. I lifted his face softly with a shaking hand to see his features and I froze.

It must be a joke. The man sitting in front of me wasn't Kratos. It was Botta. I panicked, not understanding what it meant. He was the one who had called me, he couldn't be here! "Botta? Botta, answer me! Open your eyes!"

My voice seemed to bring him back to consciousness. He opened his eyes, trying to see through the blood that dripped into his eyes from a cut to his forehead. "...Yuan? Is it you?" He weakly whispered. I kept his face in place between my trembling hands. "Yes, I'm right here. What ha – " I began, but suddenly Botta's eyes widened in horror and he violently pulled on the chains that kept him tied up to the chair. "No, Yuan, get out of here! It's a trap!" Horror dawned on my face at his words. A trap? As I debated inside on what I should do, an imposing shadow appeared behind me. My mind had barely to time to comprehend Botta's cry of warning when someone grabbed my arms and harshly pulled them behind me. I struggled like mad against my attacker, but the man holding me down twisted my wrist brusquely. I let out a cry of pain and my weapon fell to the ground. Before I had time to try anything, a large hand covered my mouth and nose, smothering my protestations. I realized with horror that the hand was holding a cloth soaked in a liquid. I knew what it was from the scent. Chloroform. My eyes rolled upwards and I fell unconscious, still held up by the man's arms.

* * *

Muffled sounds and voices pulled me slowly towards reality. I could feel a cold and harsh ground against my cheek and I deduced I was lying on the floor. I forced my eyes to open slowly and was quickly blinded by the light. The voices died down suddenly and I tried to remember where I was and what happened. I moved my hand to take support on the ground and the sound of chains being moved recorded in my mind. I heard an unpleasant laugh that gave me goose bumps, a laugh that was cruelly familiar. I lifted my face and soon, I could make up a face smiling cruelly down at me. My eyes widened with horror when I recognized Mithos Yggdrasil's features. A fear like I had never known invaded me as my memories came back. I had been tricked. Someone had made me believe Kratos was in danger, but I had found Botta in his place.

Botta! My fear transformed into panic and anger and I lifted my arm to strike this despicable being, but I was stopped dead in my tracks. My eyes brusquely went down to my wrist and saw it was trapped in a metal ring from which a chain was dangling and bound to the wall behind me. While looking closer, I saw with horror that my other arm and my ankles were also trapped, leaving me with little movement. I turned my face full of hatred towards Yggdrasil, who was looking up at me with an amused and victorious smile.

"What is the meaning of this?" I fumed, fighting against the chains that were holding me, not giving a damn about the way they were biting painfully in my skin, scraping my wrists raw. Yggdrasil's smile widened. "Oh, I think you know, _Yuan Ka-Fai_." A cold chill ran all over me as he said my real name. So he knew. He knew who I really was. I couldn't say anything and had to stop myself from shaking as he snickered again, pacing slowly in front of me. "You know, you were pretty good in hiding your identity from me. Who would have thought that behind Sano Nagano's mask was hiding a police officer of Okinawa's department, one of those miserable insects that are always getting in my way! It's no wonder you weren't able to complete the last mission I gave you." I was so panicked now that I had trouble breathing. I fought again against my chains, not stopping even when I felt my skin break and blood slowly drip down my arms.

"What happened to Anji?" I asked firmly, my gaze defying him. Yggdrasil didn't seem to like my attitude. He gripped my hair painfully and forced my head to the ground. My cheek met the ground brusquely again and Yggdrasil kept his hold on my head, squatting down in front of me. I could only see his shoes from where I was. "I'm not finished yet. You will stay there on the ground like the mongrel dog you are and listen to what I have to say. You will know soon enough what happened to you dear Anji." His unctuous voice made shivers run down my spine. I bit my lip brutally to stop myself from replying anything. A satisfied sound got out of Yggdrasil's throat, but he didn't let go of his hold on me. "I must admit that you have been pretty good in eluding me for so long, _Sano_. If it hadn't been for that last mission that you miserably failed without even trying, I might not have discovered everything yet, even though it was only a matter of days."

My breathing quickened as he talked. My last mission? Could this mean he had...

"This mission about the police station was really important for me. So, when you failed it, I didn't lose time to put Kvar on the task instead. And despite your words, _he_ didn't have difficulty to infiltrate their files. And he also found something very interesting. While searching through their data base, he found the name of one police officer that had been erased from most of the files. It was as if someone was trying to hide his identity. His name was Yuan Ka-Fai. Of course, he managed to find his picture. Strangely, he looks just like you." Cold sweat covered my skin as I realized how much I had been stupid and careless. I didn't know he would act so quickly after my failure.

"You surely know it was easy for me to investigate on you starting from there; born in Japan from a Chinese father and a Japanese mother, you studied at the Kyōto University in law, only to stop everything at the death of your fiancee. Then you decided to enlist in the police forces, to spend four years at the department of public security before being transferred to the department of judiciary police of Okinawa." His icy voice rang for a long time in my head, but I stopped listening after he had mentioned my _fiancee_. No, he also knew for Martel?

A short silence followed his words. He released his hold on my head and stood up slowly. I lifted my head, confused by his actions. In a quick movement, he circled my face and his foot sank violently in my ribs. A loud cracking sound resounded and I let out a cry of pain. I huddled up in pain, holding my painful ribs with one hand. But Yggdrasil wasn't finished with me. His foot went down brutally on my other hand, crushing it with all his weight. My bones cracked and I retained another exclamation of pain. "You son of a bitch. I must admit I hadn't anticipated this when I investigated on you. I can't believe my sister fell in love with a mongrel like you and that you touched her with your filthy hands." His voice was tinged with anger and disgust. "Let her out of this!" I hissed with anger between my teeth. In answer to this, Yggdrasil moved his feet on my hand and my bones protested against the harsh treatment. If he continued, he would surely crush them to dust. "You are right on that point. I wouldn't want to stain the memories of my dear sister thinking you have defiled her. It would be better to concentrate on the present."

His foot finally left my hand and I tried to regain my breathing and forget the throbbing pain in my hand and ribs. He had begun pacing around the room again, only slower this time. I only then realized that I didn't recognize the place we were in. It almost resembled a cell. I was probably kept somewhere in the headquarters. Yggdrasil's voice brusquely pulled my attention back on him. "I then thought, learning of your true identity, that I would have to punish you for this affront. And in that case, nothing is better than a trap well thought, right?" His voice was highly amused as he pulled out a recorder from a pocket of his vest. He pushed a button and I stayed frozen in cold horror when I heard the recording.

"_Okay. Listen to me and don't interrupt me, I don't have much time. I'm at Yggdrasil's headquarters right now. I had some business with him, but he cancelled our meeting at the last minute. He is hysterical right now. He received a message from a clan that's been his enemy for many years now. They – they are asking for a enormous ransom, as well as Yggdrasil's withdrawal from the underworld in exchange for Kratos' freedom. If he doesn't cooperate, they'll kill him." _

"_It can't be! How did they get their hands on him?" _

"_They were surely watching him for several days now. All I know is that he never got to the headquarters. They surely captured him on the way from your apartment." _

"_Where – Do you know where they are? Where are they keeping him?" _

"_Yuan, you can't be serious? If you go there to help him, you'll get yourself killed! Not only that, but you'll also put his life in danger if things go wrong!" _

"_Where is he?" _

"_... They are keeping him in a warehouse at the corner of Iwake Street and Nabane Street. The exchange will happen there. I beg of you, please be cautious."_

My entire body was now shaking from fury and horror. It seemed to please Yggdrasil. "I knew that if Kratos was concerned, you would run headlong into the trap. You must already know that with technology these days, it's easy to capture someone's voice intonations and use it to apply it to one's own voice. You were talking to me back then. And at the time, Anji or must I say Botta, was already my prisoner. He too deserved a punishment for having conspired with you." He explained with a calmness that only heightened my boiling rage. "Where is he?" I yelled my request. Yggdrasil burst out laughing. "You want to know so badly? Very well. In that case, you'll be satisfied." He displayed a mysterious smile before facing the other way and giving a sign of his head to one of the two men standing near the door. The man left the room only to enter seconds later, holding a brown bag in his hand. He gave it to Yggdrasil who took it and walked slowly to me, untying the strings of the bag. Without saying a word, not minding my confused expression, he turned it upside down and its content fell to the ground under my incredulous gaze. A gaze that soon turned to horror.

There, in front of me, his gaze terrified, his mouth open on a silent scream, was the decapitated and grotesque head of Botta. No… No! It was a nightmare, it couldn't be real! But the reality of the horrible situation imposed itself on me as his lifeless eyes stayed fixed on me. I diverted my gaze and I retched violently. My entire body shuddered in disgust and I vomited on the ground. Yggdrasil waited for me to finish before taking my chin in one hand and turning it forcefully in Botta's direction. "Look at him! He died for you, the least you can do is to look at the result of your folly!" His venomous voice was like a prison and I found myself unable to close my eyes, unable to take them away from Botta's bloody head… from my best friend, who had put up with so many things for me, who had given me a shoulder to lean on in the difficult moments, who believed in me enough to put himself in danger. And because of me, he was now dead. It was all my fault... _My fault_. I had taken everything away from him… I was a monster. Tears of powerlessness and hatred rolled on my cheeks. This pleased my tormentor. He leaned over me and wiped a tear away with his thumb. "So, how are you feeling knowing the death of one of your friends is your fault? You must wish to die too, right? But don't worry; it will be your turn soon. But not before I torture you a little, like the poor Anji."

His words broke something inside of me, replacing my distress by a rage and hatred of intensity I had never experienced before. I shook my head away from his grip and violently fought against my chains. "_**I'm going to kill you, you fucking bastard**__**! You hear me? I'm going to kill you! I swear to God that I will have your head even if it's the last thing I do!**_" I yelled all my hatred to his face. I had only one wish now; to kill this son of a bitch, no matter the price. Nothing else mattered anymore. I wanted to make him pay all the pain he had caused the people I loved!

Yggdrasil laughed loudly. "Kill me? Oh, unfortunately, I don't think it will happen. I believe you are the one that is about to die."

His foot met the side of my head and a dull pain exploded in my skull. I collapsed on the ground as my vision went down in a mass of shapeless colors under the strength of the impact. A sticky fluid rolled down my temple and into my hair and I knew it was my blood. The bastard. If he thought he could break me acting like this, he was far from the truth. My fingers gripped the hard ground as I was trying to get up, but I didn't get the time. His hand circled my throat and he hauled me on the ground, smashing my back brusquely against the wall. His hold on my neck was so strong I had trouble to breath. His eyes suddenly seemed to focus on something in particular on my neck and his other hand quickly pulled my collar down. A disdainful and dangerous groan rose in his throat. He pinned me harder against the cold surface. "Tell me, these marks on your neck… Is Kratos the one who made them? You fucking whore, you must have gotten your full when he fucked you, right?" He raged and his nails sank in my neck, leaving bloody trails behind.

My breathing was getting out in hoarse hisses as my lungs were asking for the air that was denied to them. I wanted to reply, to deny his words, but I couldn't utter a single word. My hands gripped his in an attempt to get them off me, but I didn't have enough strength. "Then I was right all along. There really was something going on between you. But Kratos is mine. And I will never yield him to someone else, especially to a dirty little slut that seduced him with false promises." This time I had enough. He could insult me as many times as he wanted, but I would never let him say that Kratos was his. In an ultimate effort, I managed to remove his hands enough to take a long breath and reply with hatred; "Kratos will never love someone who takes so much pleasure in destroying his life and killing the people he loves! If you really love him, then you should let him go. But your demented obsession that you must call love is destroying him!" I managed to say despite my hoarse throat.

Fury tainted Yggdrasil's eyes. "_**You fucking slut!**_" He yelled and hit my face without holding back. The taste of blood invaded my mouth and I spit it on the ground. But Yggdrasil wasn't finished with me. His hand gripped the back of my head and pulled it back harshly, exposing my neck. I then saw the glint of a blade and my eyes widened in fear when I felt the cold metal press against my throat. Yggdrasil's malicious and furious face entered the field of my sight. "You're not so proud anymore now, are you? I should kill you right now for what you did, but it wouldn't be amusing. I'm going to make you die a slow death; I'm going to torture you until you beg me to kill you. But I won't do it. I want Kratos to see in what pathetic state his precious lover will be. In his despair, he will finally understand what happens when someone disobeys me." He said in a satisfied tone and the blade of the dagger cut lightly into my skin. A thin trickle of blood rolled down my neck, but I was far from being preoccupied by it for now. All I wanted now was to erase that satisfied smile. So, without caring about the consequences, I spit on his face, throwing him a murderous glance. "Go to hell, son of a bitch!"

Yggdrasil's smile fell and his hand wiped away my spit. His face was expressionless and I had no idea of what was going on in his deranged mind. The dagger withdrew from my neck. Suddenly, a dazzling pain ran through my shoulder and I couldn't retain a cry of pain. Yggdrasil buried the blade deep in my shoulder and twisted it in the wound. I yelled again and struggled desperately to get him off me, but it only worsened my case. I felt the sleeve of my shirt dampen with my blood. He turned the blade again and again, taking a great thrill in hearing my screams of pain. He only stopped when I ceased my pointless efforts and stayed motionless, my face torn by pain and my breathing harsh. He pulled back the knife and I clenched my teeth under the sharp pain his motion caused. Yggdrasil lifted the dagger in front of his eyes and licked the blood that stained one of the sides.

I diverted my gaze, disgust making its way on my face. Yggdrasil's hand took my chin and forced it again in his direction. He lifted the deadly weapon and the blade pressed against my cheek. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my skin. I hid the fear I was feeling and he could only read fury in my eyes. "Maybe I should disfigure this beautiful face that Kratos must love so much. It would be amusing to see his reaction." He suggested with a smooth voice and the blade cut into my cheek, letting the crimson liquid run freely from the long cut. "But still, it wouldn't be fun if he isn't able to recognize you anymore. I'll have to keep on torturing you elsewhere." As he was speaking, the blade of the knife went down to my chest and I feared he was going to drive him through it.

"I wonder what he would say if he saw your body violated and abused." He asked aloud and I shivered at his words. My reaction didn't go unnoticed. The blade went down my arm to my bloodied wrist. "He would surely be angry beyond recognition if I had touched you this way. His precious lover raped by his enemy... But I wouldn't dare touch you in this matter. To touch something so _filthy_... I would let my men the honour of doing it; I'm sure some of them would enjoy taking care of it!" He burst out into a cruel and cold laugh and my rage heightened again. He wanted to see Kratos suffer so much? I struggled harder against my restrains with violence, not paying mind to the throbbing pain in my wrists and my shoulder.

"You're completely fucked up! How could you want him to suffer if you love him?" I yelled my rage. This time, Yggdrasil's face showed an expression of such madness I had never seen before. His fist met my jaw and my head flew sideways with the strength of the impact. I choked as blood flooded into my mouth again. Suddenly, a blinding pain ran through my shoulder again and I screamed in suffering.

Yggdrasil had pushed his fingers into my wound ruthlessly. A wave of nausea overwhelmed me as he rummaged through my flesh and I had to fight again the unconsciousness. I couldn't let him win. I couldn't let him believe he had gotten the best of me.

Fortunately, he soon stopped and I closed my eyes, trying to calm my breathing. Sweat was covering my body and I was beginning to shiver from the cold I was feeling. It wasn't a good sign. I was surely having a fever, because of the blood loss. Yggdrasil circled me and his hands played with something above my head. I didn't understand what he was doing until my arms were brusquely lifted above my head. Yggdrasil had shortened my chains, leaving me with even less movement.

Yggdrasil came back to face me, but he wasn't bearing a smile this time. His expression of madness was still in place. "Since you persist into resisting me, I have no reason to be gentle with you. I'll make you suffer until you beg me to stop." He turned around sharply towards one of his guards. "Bring me the iron!" He ordered dryly and the man went to fetch something in one corner of the room. When he lifted the object in the air, my eyes widened in fear. A hot iron. Yggdrasil took it and caught the hair at the base of my neck, pulling my head backwards. He got the iron close to my face, taking delight in the terror he could read in my eyes. "Since you are not a real yakuza, it must mean you don't have a tattoo either. I thought that I could make you one myself. Where would you like to have it?" He asked cruelly and I didn't answer, too preoccupied trying to get my face away from the iron.

"Right. If you don't want to answer, I'll have no choice but to choose for you." He lowered the iron and stopped it near my chest. In a brusque gesture, he tore the buttons of my shirt apart, exposing my chest. He put his cold hand on my heart and I shivered. "Here is perfect. I just have to decide what I will draw on you..." He whispered in a voice that gave me goose bumps and I tried to get my hands free again, struggling against my ties. The blood at my wrists was making them slippery and I pulled against them like a mad man, trying to get free despite my weak state. Yggdrasil groaned in irritation in front of my efforts.

Without a warning, he pressed the hot iron on my nude skin and the intense burn made me scream. He let the iron on my skin for what seemed like an eternity as he wanted to make sure it would mark the skin. When he finally pulled away, I was panting under the pain that was still coursing through me. "So, does it hurt? Because I'm not through with it. I wouldn't want you to fall unconscious before the end. It wouldn't be fun." He pressed the iron again and another scream was torn from my throat. Tears of pain ran freely and mixed with the blood staining my cheek. I squirmed, trying in vain to get away from this torture that didn't seem to end. Yggdrasil firmly kept me in place by putting his free hand on my hip. "Don't move. Or else, you'll ruin my masterpiece." Yggdrasil's voice was highly amused as he lowered the iron on me for the third time. I let out heartbreaking cries of suffering as my senses were only guided by pain.

The skin of my chest opened, bled and burned under his assaults. I thought that it would never end. But eventually, Yggdrasil straightened up and looked at his "masterpiece" with a satisfied expression. "This word suits you well: sinner. This way, everyone will know who you really are. A whore and a mongrel." Shame filled my entire being and I wanted to protest, but my throat was sore for having screamed so much. I closed my eyes and turned my face away. The cold laugh of my tormentor reached my ears clearly. "You're not trying to protest, now? Have I gotten the best of you? It's rather disappointing. But don't think that behavior will make me stop. I want to hear you beg." I let out a moan of pain and distress at his words. When would it end? Yggdrasil played with the chains again and loosened them this time. Without their help to stand me up, I collapsed on the ground. I tried to get up, to do anything I could to try and get free, but I didn't have any strength left.

Yggdrasil squatted at my side and his hand touched my back. I shivered in disgust at his touch. "Now, what could I possibly do next, hmm? Oh, I know!" He exclaimed joyfully and his hand brusquely pulled my shirt upwards, exposing my back where the scars the whip had left on my flesh were still fading. His fingers traced one of the scars lovingly, as if he was proud of his work. "They were healed for a long time now, aren't they? That won't do." He whispered cruelly and it didn't take me much time to understand what he had in mind. My eyes widened in horror and I started struggling again, trying to get away from this deranged man. When he saw my efforts, Yggdrasil groaned in annoyance and stood up to face me. "You still don't give up your useless struggle? I have to admit I admire your tenacity. But with this, you won't get very far."

Without letting me time to retaliate, he got out a second knife from his pocket and stabbed my hand viciously, pinning it to the ground. A searing pain washed over me and I yelled my pain. My throat burned under my repeated cries and I coughed as I felt blood in my throat. I shivered all over my body and let out a weak moan of suffering.

"Now, you won't be able to move. And if I see you try to take out the knife, I swear I'll stab your other hand." He threatened me and I knew he was being serious. He knelt again at my side and I felt the blade of the knife touch my skin. I opened my eyes as panic swallowed me. "No, no, not this!" I moaned on a begging tone, but Yggdrasil didn't listen to me. The blade cruelly tore my skin apart where one of the scars was and blood freely ran out of the deep wound. I began to sob under the pain. Yggdrasil leaned over me to whisper at my ear. "The color red suits you so well. It matches your alabaster skin. I'm sure Kratos will agree with me when he'll see you. He will be here soon, so I have to hurry and finish the preparations." His words filled me with distress and I sobbed harder. The fingers of my other hand scraped the cold ground until they bled and I savagely bite my lip. I couldn't take this anymore... I couldn't take this suffering. If he didn't stop this, I would shatter completely...

The knife viciously cut into a second scar and I let out a soul shattering scream. My determination brusquely and violently broke down. "No... Please, stop it..." I begged him between my bitter sobs. Yggdrasil burst out into a victorious laugh. "I finally broke you! It's wonderful, I couldn't hope for more! Now, Kratos will see what you really are." Once again, the blade broke my skin and pushed in deep as a long moan ran free from my bloody lips. "No, no more... Please, let me... let me die..." I sobbed with a miserable voice. I wanted this to end. I wanted him to kill me, for if he did I could stop suffering. Anyway, what future should I hope for? There was only suffering or death that awaited me.

But Yggdrasil didn't listen to my pleas. Rather, it cheered him up into continuing his torture. My eyes went to Botta's head and my tears intensified. As my back opened and bled under Yggdrasil's hand, I told myself I had deserved this pain. I had let my best friend die. I had deliberately put him in danger. I had taken away his life and to his wife and daughter, I had taken away a wonderful husband and father. I deserved nothing less than death.

I suddenly became still as my gaze became dull and never left Botta's lifeless own. I didn't have the strength or the want to resist anymore. I could only feel the cold blade as it was plunging again and again into the martyred skin of my back. I could only feel the pain that ran through every last one of my veins and into my entire being. I wasn't even aware I was still begging him to end it all, until my voice completely broke into my sore throat.

Soon, my vision blurred and I was sure the end was coming. I had lost too much blood; It was staining the ground, my clothes, my skin, my hair... I was barely conscious when someone entered the room and Yggdrasil pulled the knife away from the wound he was creating, standing up and answering something to the newcomer. Even when he pulled the knife that was pinning my hand to the ground away, I had only a weak spasm. I stayed on the ground, unable to move a muscle. I leaned my cheek soiled by my tears on the floor stained in my blood, closing my eyes as I succumbed to the unconsciousness.

I prayed to never wake up again.

* * *

It was a vivid and atrocious pain that brutally brought me back to consciousness. I let out a sound of pain and opened my eyes suddenly. An action I immediately regretted. The scene happening in front of me was filling me with horror and despair. And despite my pitiful state, despite my state of weakness, I saw it with an almost surreal lucidity. Kratos was here, close to me, and his face was twisted by a never ending rage. I saw him hit Yggdrasil in the face. But he didn't stop there. He seemed wanting to make him pay for everything he had done to me. He hit him again in the ribs, making him hit the wall brutally. Yggdrasil's men then held him back. As I was witnessing the scene, my mind was screaming to me _why?_ Why was he here? I didn't want him to see me in that state, when everything was over for me. I would have at least wanted for him not to see my death. But it was too late. Yggdrasil had gotten what he wanted. He had succeeded in drawing him here.

Yggdrasil was tough for he managed to stand up again, seeming even madder then before. I panicked when he got out a lighter and threatened to burn me alive. It was too cruel. He wanted to make Kratos go over the cruel death he had inflicted on Anna and Lloyd. Wasn't there any limit to the cruelty of that man?

But at the exact moment, Kratos struggled out of the hold of the men and got rid of them quickly. His rage seemed even stronger than earlier. I was petrified. I could only watch as he also got rid of the one coming with the oil container. A movement to my right made me slowly turn my head. I saw Yggdrasil was about to join me with a knife in hand. I knew what he had in mind. He wanted to stop Kratos by threatening to kill me. But my lover was faster than him. He caught up with him before he could get to me and pushed him against the wall.

It was then that I saw a part of Kratos that I had seen only one time in the past: with Rodyle. That cruel part of him that loved seeing people suffer. I saw him break Yggdrasil's wrist. And as the latter was yelling in pain, he seemed to take more and more delight from his actions. I was paralyzed from fear. Terror ran through me as I saw him stab Yggdrasil's shoulder with the knife in an imitation of what he had done to me. I was terrified to see him turn the knife around in the wound to hear more of his screams. This wasn't Kratos. It was not _my_ Kratos. An immense fear got a hold of me. The fear that the Kratos I loved so much disappear at the same time as Yggdrasil's death by his own hands.

That fear was so strong that it pushed me to say his name despite my sore throat. "Kratos..." It wasn't more than a begging whisper, an ultimate request, but Kratos heard it still. His murderous pupils turned in my direction and soon became tinged with surprise. I never let my gaze falter from his, trying to let him know of what I couldn't say because of my weakness. He shouldn't kill Yggdrasil. He _couldn't _kill him. He couldn't break the promise he had made me. The bastard deserved to die, but I didn't want Kratos to be the one to do it. I didn't want him to dirty his hands once more.

A sound at my right made me turn my eyes and they widened in horror as I noticed what Yggdrasil was holding in his hand. I wanted to warn Kratos, but it was too late. The gunshot exploded and the bullet went through Kratos' arm. The two men he had downed earlier had the time to regain themselves and immobilized him again. And a second later, the gun was aiming at my head. A cold terror washed over me. It was the end. He was going to kill me. And Kratos would see the awful sight. He would see my blood spatter all over the walls and the ground as my corpse would slowly grow cold. I could see the scene in my head. I only prayed for everything to happen quickly. I didn't even notice my body was shaking all over.

What happened next was so surreal that I saw it through some sort of filter. All of my senses were numb like they were trying to spare me the cruel truth of what had just happened. I saw Kratos run to me and circle me with his arms. I heard the smothered sound of a gunshot. I saw the expression of pain that washed on the features of my lover at that precise moment. I barely heard him asking me if I was all right, even though he was the one who took on the bullet. Which I didn't realize right away. I wasn't even aware of returning his embrace as I was shaking uncontrollably now. But I clearly saw the relieved smile he cast me as he knew I wasn't hit by the bullet and I clearly felt his cold fingers against my cheek.

Cold fingers. Cold like death.

And the filter was brutally removed, leaving behind nothing but the harsh reality.

No, it couldn't be happening. It... It had to be a nightmare! When I saw him close his eyes and collapse into my arms, when I felt his blood on my hands, something inside of me violently broke apart. I shook him as much as my weakened state let me, feeling my tears well up before I could stop them. "Kratos, no! Open your eyes!" I screamed as panic overwhelmed me, to the point that I wasn't feeling my physical pain anymore. I could only feel the suffering of my heart. "Kratos, you can't do this to me! You can't leave me, no!" I continued, my voice breaking down into uncontrollable sobs. Why, why did this have to happen? Why did he protect me? I was a pitiful being that didn't deserve dying over. And now the man I loved, to whom I had given everything and without whom life meant nothing was dying in my arms. And I couldn't do anything, I couldn't save him!

The furious and panicked voice of Yggdrasil got me out of my torpor. "Why, Kratos? Why did you get in my way once again? Why do you want to protect that bastard so much?" His words transformed my pain into anger. "_**Shut the fuck up!**_" My voice echoed in the room and I looked at him with eyes gleaming with anger through my tears. "You know nothing about Kratos, so shut up! You made him suffer so many times, you kept on destroying him, and now he's dead because of you! You have no right to talk about him in that manner." I spit out with hatred.

Suddenly, a gunshot resounded and the bullet grazed my cheek before ending its course in the wall near my head. My eyes went to Yggdrasil's face, who wore an expression of pure madness. A wisp of smoke was still getting out of his pistol's cannon.

"Another word and I'll blow your head off." He hissed with a dangerous voice. His finger was already ready to pull the trigger. He was going to kill me. I knew it with a deadly certainty. One moment or another, he was going to kill me.

But I realized that I didn't care anymore. My anger slowly died down at this realization and I felt only sadness and a cold and terrifying emptiness deep in my soul. I let my lifeless gaze wander on him. "Do it. I have nothing left to lose. You robbed me of everything I held dear." I replied no louder than a whisper. Yes. If he killed me, everything would be over. The pain would disappear. That terrifying emptiness within me would disappear as well.

A vicious grin appeared on the face of my enemy and I knew it was the end. I held Kratos' inert body close to my heart, ignoring the pain it caused me. I leaned my cheek on the top of his head and closed my eyes, waiting for the last moment of my existence. Waiting for the end of all this suffering. "I'll be with you soon, my love..." I whispered to Kratos while showing a smile of never ending sadness.

The gun went off and I waited for the pain that would explode in my head. But it never came. In its place, I heard Yggdrasil's scream of pain. I opened my eyes suddenly and saw without really realizing it Bryant and some of my colleagues enter the room, aiming their guns at Yggdrasil and his men. Yggdrasil was holding his bloody hand near his body and was bearing an expression of stupor. "Police! Nobody moves, you are under arrest!" Bryant's strong voice echoed in the room. Right away, two police officers immobilized Yggdrasil, who struggled in vain. "What does this mean?" He raged. Zelos chose that moment to enter the room. But he wasn't showing his usual mocking smile. He had a serious and almost sad expression on his face. "Zelos! You are nothing more than a filthy traitor!" At this, Zelos' expression darkened. "I wonder who betrayed who first." He replied heinously before his eyes turned in my direction. When he saw us, Kratos and me, his gaze became clouded with apologies and he turned his eyes away.

Bryant finally saw me, covered in wounds and holding the body of my lover in my trembling arms. His expression soon became worried and he joined me quickly. But before he had the time to place one word, one of my colleagues called his name. "Commissioner... My God, look..." He said with a shaking voice and put a hand in front of his mouth. I already knew what he had seen and I closed my eyes to avoid seeing it again. Bryant had surely looked over since he said; "No, Botta..." My tears fell down with a new vigour. "It's my fault. He's dead because of me!" I sobbed even harder as the reality was too hard to accept. Bryant turned his attention back on me. "If – if I hadn't asked for his help back in the beginning, he would still be alive!" I continued, holding Kratos even more securely against me. I felt Bryant's hand on my shoulder. I lifted my eyes gleaming with tears on him. "Yuan, it's not your fault. Don't think about it anymore. What is important now is to bring you two to the hospital. You have to let him go." What – what was he talking about? Kratos was dead! He had gone far away from me! Everything was over! So I didn't want to be saved. I wanted to join him. This way, we would never b separated again.

Bryant leaned over Kratos and put two fingers on his neck. I missed the expression of relief that passed on his face. When Bryant put a hand on his shoulder to get him away from me, I tightened my hold and shook my head. "No, leave me alone. I – I want to stay with him." I felt myself becoming weaker by the minute, but I still desperately clung to my lover. I didn't want to be separated from him, not in the very end. Bryant threw me a worried look. "Stop saying such stupid things, Yuan! You both need urgent treatment! Or do you really want to die?" He exclaimed and I threw him a defying look. "I might as well! I've got nothing left. He – he's dead... I couldn't – I – " I sobbed, unable to end my sentence as the awful reality imposed itself to my mind. Bryant didn't let go of Kratos' shoulder. "Yuan, let him go." He repeated. Furor invaded me again. "_He's dead_! Don't you understand?" I yelled my distress and my sadness. Why didn't he want to understand? I was tired of fighting, so tired... Bryant brutally shook me and I looked at him with lifeless eyes. "By God, Yuan, get a hold of yourself! He's not dead yet, he's still breathing! But if you don't let go of him now, he'll really die! And you too! You're losing too much blood, you need urgent treatment!" His words made their way slowly in my mind and I looked at Kratos' unconscious face.

It was only then that I noticed his weak breathing. He... he was alive? There was still hope? I lifted my face to Bryant, who was looking at me with sadness. "Let him go, Yuan." He ordered again. I felt myself loosen my hold on Kratos despite myself. Bryant didn't lose time in lifting him from the ground. He turned to face two of his men. "Take him to the hospital. Quickly." The two police officers didn't need to be told twice. They brought Kratos out of the room. The two men that were holding Yggdrasil had handcuffed him, but it didn't prevent him from struggling like mad when he saw the men leaving with Kratos. "Let him go! Where are you taking him?" He yelled with rage before suddenly turning his face towards me. "Everything is your fault, you dirty whore! If you hadn't approached him, if you hadn't seduced him, none of this would have happened!" For once, I was agreeing with him. In my tortured and weak mind, I thought everything was my fault. I was the one having been too stupid to fall in the trap; I was the one being too weak to be able to protect myself. I might have let the man I loved to his downfall.

I couldn't manage to answer anything to this. "One day, I'll have your head, Yuan Ka-Fai! I'll make you suffer so much that you'll hope to have died today!" He added heinously and I could see in his eyes that he was truly thinking it. This desire would haunt and obsess him for the rest of his life. And I knew it would haunt my existence as well. Bryant strong voice exploded in the room. "That's enough! Get him out of here!" The two police officers obeyed. They pulled Yggdrasil out of the room as he was laughing in pure madness. Bryant didn't lose time in loading his gun and he shot on the chains that restrained me. They broke and I fell in the arms of my superior. There, in the security of his arms, I finally let go of all my sadness and distress. My entire body was shaking with my sobs. Bryant tried to appease me. "Shh, it's going to be okay, Yuan. It's over. I'll bring you to the hospital." As he was talking, he carefully lifted me into his arms. I couldn't stop a moan of pain, because of my deep wounds. My physical pain was quickly coming back and it was agonizing.

Each cell of my body was suffering martyr. I also began to feel cold. I was shivering. This seemed to worry Bryant, furthermore when my eyelids became heavy. He quickly turned to the last police officers in the room. "I'll let you take care of the rest." They nodded and Bryant quickly left the room. The cold was taking over me quickly now and my senses were turning numb. Was it the end? It looked like it. I couldn't seem to fight the sleep that wanted to get me into its clutches. "Yuan, don't fall asleep!" Bryant's strong voice startled me and I tried to follow his lead, but I couldn't do it. I had barely the time to notice we were out of the building and to see the red and blue lights. I had barely the time to hear Bryant scream my name with a worried tone before I succumbed to the darkness.

* * *

**A/N :**

**Littlerosebud: **… I really hope you don't hate us too much for having done this to Kratos and Yuan. And we are sorry for the cliffhanger, but it was necessary.

And so we are finally at the end of the story, after having put two years of effort into this story. There is only one chapter left. I just want to tell our readers thank you. Thank you so much for having cheered us up since the very beginning. It took us a long time, but it was really worth it. We are proud of what this story turned into. :)

Thank you so much! We'll see you soon at the final chapter!


	25. Final Chapter

**A/N: **Hello everyone! Here is the last chapter of our story. We can't believe we're finally there, after two and a half years! o.o

Hey, at least we finished it! So we hope you enjoy the end of our big project. We'll be back at the end of the chapter.

By the way, before we forget, the song used in the chapter is _So far away _from Avenged Sevenfold.

See you down below!

* * *

**Final chapter**

The fog was slowly dissipating and with it, an atrocious pain was coming back and was numbing my senses. It seemed like my head was about to explode by the pain. I could hear the regular bip of a device near me, as well as the sound of rushed voices. I weakly battered my eyelids, trying to get my eyes used to the vivid light that was assaulting me. The voices died down and I managed to open my eyes. I could make out the worried face of Bryant leaning over me. Confused, I turned my head to the side and saw an intravenous securely stuck in my forearm. It only furthered my confusion. My mind was totally devoid of any memories. The nurse that was standing in the room with Bryant silently left the room, leaving us alone.

"Bryant... Where – " I managed to whisper with a hoarse voice. I coughed as talking was irritating my sore throat. I hurt all over; It was as if my skin was bare. Bryant took my hand in his and squeezed it gently. I threw him a confused look at this. His face was serious and hesitant. "We are at the hospital. Yggdrasil had gravely hurt you, so much that we thought you wouldn't make it. You were in a coma for two days." He whispered in return. Yggdrasil...

My memories brusquely came back to my mind. "Where... Where is Kratos? I want to see him..." I began to panic when I remembered the state he had been in. Bryant closed his eyes and silence weighted on us for a short moment. When he finally talked, I felt my heart stop beating. "We were too late. He – he succumbed to his wound." I looked at him without managing to understand what he had said. My lip began to tremble. No. It was impossible. He was lying. I brusquely sat up, ignoring the pain that ran through me at my action. I made a movement to get out of bed, but Bryant saw it and stopped me. "What are you doing? You're can't move with your wounds! You'll reopen them!" Bryant scolded me and I struggled against his hold. "Let me go! I want to see him!" I exclaimed with panic and Bryant looked at me with a mix of compassion and hurt. "Yuan, please, listen to me. He's dead." He whispered it this time. It was too much. I weakly hit my fists against his chest. "You're lying! You're lying because you never could stand him! You don't want me to see him anymore!" I didn't want to believe it, even though my heart knew it was the truth. I felt tears well up at the corner of my eyes as I continued to hit his chest again and again while yelling that he let me see Kratos. And he let me do it. He let me empty my anger and my distress against him. When I didn't have energy anymore, when my hands were stained in blood for having reopened my wounds, he took me into his arms and held me close to his heart. I felt him tremble against me. "I'm sorry, Yuan." He said with a sad and tortured voice. He didn't need to add anything. I burst into bitter sobs as the horrible truth imposed itself to my mind. Kratos was dead. I would never see him again. I would never see his smile again; I would never again feel the warmth of his strong arms, nor would I hear his sweet nothings and his "I love you". I would never again see his carmine pupils that I loved so much...

Bryant held me and said nothing, letting me empty my heart of its grief. I cried again and again. It was like I couldn't manage to get rid of my sadness. With Kratos had died my soul and my heart.

The following days were trying for me. I spent more than a week at the hospital. Bryant came to see me every day. He was really worried by my condition. After he had told me of Kratos' death, it was like I had locked away my emotions in the deepest part of my soul. I felt nothing anymore. I spent the entire days staring at the window with lifeless eyes, without ever noticing what was happening around me. I felt dead inside, as if a huge emptiness had pierced my chest where my heart should have been. The only thing I could feel was the cold. A freezing cold that seemed to come from the bottom of my soul. A part of me had died that day.

* * *

I got out of the hospital when my wounds had closed and healed. But they would leave deep scars behind, both physically and mentally. I would never forget what Yggdrasil had done to me. There was not one night I didn't wake up screaming with soul shattering screams. I was plagued with never ending nightmares, in which I saw Kratos die again and again and in which I revived a unending torture. And it was always an empty bed that welcomed me when I wake up terrorized and in tears. It was that fact more than anything that made me drown into a deep sorrow. I couldn't stand staying in this apartment that reminded me too much of the moments spent with Kratos.

Botta's funeral had happened while I was in the hospital, so I didn't assist it. And I think it was better that way. I already had to take care of Kratos'. I couldn't have managed both of them. Fortunately, Bryant had decided to help me in preparing Kratos' funeral. He didn't have any family, not as far as I was aware, and I was the only one that could do it. But I didn't have the strength to do it alone. It was too horrible.

But I had to at least go see Kaoru, Botta's widow, for I needed to apologize. I went there the day before Kratos' funeral. I finally had the guts to go. When she opened the door, it wasn't long before she slapped me across the face. She was furious against me. She threw me a look filled with hatred and yelled to me that I give her back her husband. I let her do as she wanted. I let her hit me and scream at me, because I deserved it. Nothing that I could do would appease her sadness and grief. Like me, she had lost the man she loved. And no apologies could close the wound of her heart. I knew all that, but I still apologized. I couldn't do anything else. I wasn't waiting to be forgiven, because I could never forgive myself for what I did to Botta. I would bear that sin for the rest of my life.

I was about to leave when a heartbreaking cry reached my ears. I turned around to see Yumi running towards me, only to be stopped by her mother. The poor girl was screaming my name between her crying. I wanted to take her into my arms, to comfort her. But I couldn't do it. It was better that way. It was my fault if her father was dead. I didn't deserve her love. I apologized to her and told her goodbye, managing to do a weak smile before turning around to never come back again. With time, when she would be old enough to understand what had caused the death of her father, she would also hate me. It was better for her that we never see each other again, even if it was breaking what was left of my heart.

* * *

"Yuan, it's time..." Bryant told me with a soft voice, putting a hand on my shoulder. I shook my head slowly. "No. Let me a little more time." I whispered, my gaze never leaving my lover's grave. Bryant answered nothing for a short while. His hand squeezed my shoulder to comfort me. "Okay. I'll wait for you in the car." He then went away, leaving me alone in the desolating cemetery where they had just buried Kratos. Seeing his corpse had seemed so surreal. He had looked almost alive, as if he would rise up any minute to embrace me like he had done so many times. It was terrifying me. I had been unable to look at him for a long time before they had closed the coffin.

_Never feared for anything_

_Never shamed but never free_

_A life to heal the broken heart with all that it could_

My hands tightened their hold on the bouquet of red camellias and purple asters I was holding. My lips drew a sad smile. "Kratos, why did it have to end this way? You didn't have to die. But now you are free, like you had always wanted. You joined your wife and son. You went and left me behind. I still find it difficult to accept your death. It's so sudden, I... I never asked you to sacrifice yourself for me!"

_Lived a life so endlessly_

_Saw beyond what others see_

_I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could_

Agony showed on my features. I fell on my knees and put a hand on the cold stone. "You don't know how much I would like to join you... But I know you wouldn't want that. You would want me to go on living, wouldn't you? Even if every day without you is cruel and without sense?" My chest suddenly burned me and my hand clenched on my heart, where the scars from the burn of the iron would be forever visible. Like all of my other wounds. They would never fade away.

_Will you stay?_

_Will you stay away forever?_

I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the tombstone. "You know, I asked Bryant to relieve me of my duties. This job makes me think too much about you, it makes me suffer so much. But he denied my request. And it may be better that way. I don't think you would have wanted me to quit the police." My words were filled with nostalgia as I remembered all our moments spent together.

_How do I live without the ones I love?_

_Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned_

_Place and time always on my mind_

_I have so much to say but you're so far away_

It was now time to let go. It was so hard. All of a sudden, my emotions threatened to come back and haunt me as I had promised to myself to never cry again. I put down the bouquet of flowers in front of his grave. "I'll go on living. I own it to you as you gave your life to protect me. And I also own it to Bryant and Botta. But I want you to know something. Never again will I be able to love someone else like I loved you. You have and will always be the love of my life." I closed my eyes and stayed a moment in complete silence, making my last silent goodbyes to the love of my life.

_Plans of what our future holds_

_Foolish lies of growing old_

_It seems we're so invincible_

_The truth is so cold_

I slowly stood up. When I turned around, my eyes fell on a man that had been standing unbeknownst behind me as I had talked to my deceased lover. Liu. His face was bearing an infinite sadness. I advanced towards him, aware that he had heard up to everything I had said. That I was part of the police forces. And that I was standing in front of my lover's grave.

_A final song, a last request_

_A perfect chapter laid to rest_

_Now and then I try to find a place in my mind_

He said nothing, but his eyes talked for him. He closed the distance that separated us and took me into his arms without hesitation. I didn't protest as his warmth lessened a little the freezing cold that was surrounding me since Kratos' death. He held me tight against him.

_Where you can stay_

_You can stay away forever_

"Sano, I'm sorry..." He whispered honestly. I closed my eyes and let myself go in his embrace. "My real name is Yuan." I revealed with a weak and tired voice. I couldn't bear to hear this false name anymore as it was bringing cruel memories with it. Liu answered nothing to that. He merely held me in silence. He didn't need to answer anything. It wasn't the time. His presence only was comforting me as I had lost almost everything. I didn't care about how he had managed to find me here. It didn't matter right now.

_How do I live without the ones I love?_

_Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned_

_Place and time always on my mind_

_I have so much to say but you're so far away_

He soon pushed me gently at arm's length and put a hand softly on my cheek. "Yuan, I know nothing can erase your grief. But know that if you want me by your side, I'll be there for you and to give you all the support you need. I won't leave you alone, ever." His words were filled with conviction.

_Sleep tight I'm not afraid_

_The ones that we love are here with me_

I knew he was really thinking them. And I know that even if he was saying them as a friend right now, he would change his mind with time. He would want more. And I'm not sure I could give it to him one day. But despite it all, I couldn't stop myself from wanting his presence at my side. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against his shoulder. "Thank you... I'll need it." I whispered on a laboured tone.

_Lay away a place for me_

_Cause as soon as I'm done I'll be on my way_

_To live eternally_

Liu circled my shoulders with his arm and slowly guided me towards the graveyard's exit, letting me the time to refuse if I wanted so. But it wasn't my intention. I had to let go. I had to let Kratos rest in peace. And as for myself, I had to live for the both of us. Never would I forget the happy moments we had spend together, so little were they. Never would I forget the love I was feeling for him. Never would I forget everything we had went through. Never would I forget Kratos. But I hoped that with time, the grief and pain I felt from his passing would fade away enough to allow me to live again.

_How do I live without the ones I love?_

_Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned_

_Place and time always on my mind_

_And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay_

_I have so much to say but you're so far away_

As I was about to leave the cemetery, I turned around one last time, letting my gaze wander on his grave were the bouquet of flowers was lying. A warm gust of wind suddenly rose and I closed my eyes, letting it wrap around me. At that precise moment, I had the impression it was Kratos giving me a last and ultimate embrace. _"__I don't want my last memory of you to be in tears. Please, smile for me."_

_I love you_

_You were ready_

_The pain is strong and urges rise_

_But I'll see you_

_When He lets me_

_Your pain is gone, your hands untied_

When I opened my eyes, I let a small smile decorate my lips. "I love you, Kratos. I'll always love you." I whispered slowly. I didn't know why, but I had the impression Kratos could hear me. The gust slowly faded away like a sigh.

_So far away_

_And I need you to know_

_So far away_

_And I need you to, need you to know_

I turned around for the last time, letting my lips say two last words before leaving with Liu.

"...And farewell."

_**The end**_

* * *

_**A/N: **_So... that's it! Please don't kill us! We're as sad as you are, really! T.T

We won't say much because we left a huge author's note in the next chapter. You _**REALLY **_should go read is important information that you need to know.

We hope that you aren't too sad and that you will find it in your heart to forgive us.

See you in the author's note!_**  
**_


	26. Author's Note

**A/N: **Gotcha! And you thought we were serious! XD Of course we're not _that_ cruel!

Poor Kratos... (Saenda: No I love you too much! T.T)

We'll let you enjoy the real final chapter this time and we'll see you at the end!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Final Chapter 2**

The fog was slowly dissipating and with it, an atrocious pain was coming back and was numbing my senses. It seemed like my head was about to explode by the pain. I could hear the regular bip of a device near me, as well as the sound of rushed voices. I weakly battered my eyelids, trying to get my eyes used to the vivid light that was assaulting me. The voices died down and I managed to open my eyes. I could make out the worried face of Bryant leaning over me. Confused, I turned my head to the side and saw an intravenous securely stuck in my forearm. It only furthered my confusion. My mind was totally devoid of any memories. The nurse that was standing in the room with Bryant silently left the room, leaving us alone.

"Bryant... Where – " I managed to whisper with a hoarse voice. I coughed as talking was irritating my sore throat. I hurt all over; It was as if my skin was bare. Bryant took my hand in his and squeezed it gently. I threw him a confused look at this. His face was serious and hesitant. "We are at the hospital. Yggdrasil had gravely hurt you, so much that we thought you wouldn't make it. You were in a coma for two days." He whispered in return. Yggdrasil...

My memories brusquely came back to my mind. "Where... Where is Kratos? I want to see him..." I began to panic when I remembered the state he had been in. Bryant closed his eyes and silence weighted on us for a short moment. When he finally talked, I felt my heart stop beating. "He... He still hasn't wake up. The doctors saved him just in time; he's not in danger anymore. But it's like he refuses to wake up." Kratos... was alive! Tears of relief welled up into my eyes. An irrational thought made its way in my mind; I wanted to see him now. I made a movement to sit up, but Bryant was faster than me and kept me pinned on the bed. "What are you doing?" He scolded me with a discontent expression. "I want to see Kratos." I answered weakly. Bryant sighed. "You're still as stubborn as ever. You won't get out of that bed until your wounds are closed, you hear me? And anyway, he's not even conscious. It won't serve anything." His words did not permit any answer and I scowled. I closed my tired eyes. There were so many questions burning my lips that I decided to ask them. "What happened... with Yggdrasil, after..." I couldn't manage to end my sentence, because of the horrible memories. But Bryant understood what I meant. "My men arrested the majority of the yakuza working for Yggdrasil. And as far as he's concerned, he began his long stay in jail while waiting for his sentence." I was honestly relieved to hear it. Bryant continued his explanations. "This young man, Zelos Wilder, gave himself up of his own will, but he's a minor, so the charges against him will be less severe. He probably won't be in prison for a long time. Presea and Raine have been put under arrest for now, but they will be free of any accusations. Presea was the victim of a kidnapping and so was Raine. They will regain their liberty." I was happy to hear the news. It was finally over. The nightmare was over. Bryant softly stroked my hair. "Sleep now. You need to recuperate. I'll call for the nurse." I nodded slowly and opened my eyes to see him leave the room.

No. The nightmare wasn't over. What Yggdrasil had done to me would haunt me for a long time. I was still bearing the wounds. But at least, I was alive. And so was Kratos. There was still hope.

Bryant finally allowed me to see Kratos when he judged my wounds had healed enough that moving a little wouldn't reopen them. He accompanied me to the room where he was sleeping. It had been almost a week now and he still hadn't waked up. When I entered the room, I walked slowly to the bed and sat next to him. His face seemed so peaceful... The doctors had told me they didn't fear for his life anymore, but that they didn't know why he was still in a comatose state.

I took his hand in mine and softly squeezed it. I drew a sad smile. "Kratos... why are you not waking up?" I asked in a whisper. His skin was so cold...

I lifted his hand to my cheek and sighed. "Please, wake up. I need you." I added while closing my eyes.

I stayed with him until I was completely exhausted. Bryant stayed near the door the entire time, his sad gaze staring into nothingness.

They let me leave the hospital two days later, but I refused to leave Kratos' side. I had missed Botta's funeral while I was in the hospital. And it was better that way. He was dead by my fault and going there would have cruelly recalled it to me. I was nothing more than a coward.

But there was still something I needed to do. I had to apologize to Kaoru and Yumi. With that in mind, I went to the home of Botta's widow. When she opened the door, it wasn't long before she slapped me across the face. She was furious against me. She threw me a look filled with hatred and yelled to me that I give her back her husband. I let her do as she wanted. I let her hit me and scream at me, because I deserved it. Nothing that I could do would appease her sadness and grief. She had lost the man she loved. And no apologies could close the wound of her heart. I knew all that, but I still apologized. I couldn't do anything else. I wasn't waiting to be forgiven, because I could never forgive myself for what I did to Botta. I would bear that sin for the rest of my life.

I was about to leave when a heartbreaking cry reached my ears. I turned around to see Yumi running towards me, only to be stopped by her mother. The poor girl was screaming my name between her crying. I wanted to take her into my arms, to comfort her. But I couldn't do it. It was better that way. It was my fault if her father was dead. I didn't deserve her love. I apologized to her and told her goodbye, managing to do a weak smile before turning around to never come back again. With time, when she would be old enough to understand what had caused the death of her father, she would also hate me. It was better for her that we never see each other again, even if it was breaking what was left of my heart.

* * *

It had been one month now. One month that Kratos was in a comatose state. One month that I was staying near his side as much as I could, with the absurd hope that he wake up one day. And every passing day, the chances for him waking up were growing thinner. I tried not to think about it. I wanted to keep hoping. I hadn't slept for a while now. I was whether devoured by the anxiety or by the nightmares that were haunting me every night and made me wake up screaming in the loneliness of my apartment. Nightmares in which I revived that atrocious torture and Kratos' death. For it was as if he was dead. Something was preventing him from waking up.

I was sitting near Kratos, holding his hand for the thousandth time, when Bryant entered the hospital room. I turned my face towards him with a tired look. I noticed right away that his expression was different than usual. His face was dead serious. He pulled a chair near the bed and sat on it. He let his gaze wander on Kratos for a short moment before looking at me. "How long do you intend to stay like this?" He suddenly asked and I threw him a harsh look, understanding what he meant. He had allowed me to stay near my lover until now, giving me an indeterminate leave from work. He knew I wasn't in a mental state to return to work. "As long as he won't wake up." I replied with conviction. Bryant sighed at length. "You can't go on like this, Yuan. You barely eat, you barely sleep and you do nothing besides sitting here! Nobody knows when he'll wake up, if he ever does!" I looked daggers at him. "He'll wake up soon, I know it." I simply answered on a cold tone. But Bryant didn't intend to let go of the subject. He stood up and went to the window. He leaned on the wall and let his gaze wander on the outside for several seconds before letting it weight on me once more. "Yuan, you know what will happen to him if he wakes up. And even knowing that, you still persist in staying?" I felt anger rise in me at his words. Not that again! "Bryant, I'm fed up with you trying to make me give up on Kratos. You know I won't ever do it." I answered coldly and on a frustrated tone. Bryant didn't seem fazed by this. Instead, he continued harshly. "When Aurion will wake up, he'll be given to the authorities and spend the major part of his life in jail. And nothing that you can do will change that fact." He explained calmly. It was enough. I didn't want to hear any of this anymore. I closed my eyes and clenched my fists. "I know all this! You don't need to recall me! It's already painful enough!" I replied vividly with a tortured voice. I hated thinking about the fate that awaited Kratos when he would finally wake up. I had already been separated from him once. I wouldn't be able to bear second goodbyes. A silence then followed. Bryant looked at me for a while without saying anything. Soon, he came back to sit next to me and took my hands in his. His eyes wandered on the scar that decorated my right hand before rising to my face.

"...If you had the choice, if I gave you that choice, would you give up on everything, if there was a way to get reunited with Aurion?" I looked at him without understanding, my heart beating like crazy in my chest. I tried to understand exactly the sense of his words. Bryant continued on a lower voice, like he didn't want to be heard by anyone. "Would you be able to sacrifice your work and your friends to start a new life with him?" I didn't need to reflect for a long time to his question. I had taken that decision a long time ago. Kratos had become more important than anything else to me. My gaze became tinged with determination. "Without hesitation." Bryant sighed. "I knew you were going to say that."

I answered nothing to that, but I looked at him with a confused expression. Why was he asking me this? Bryant stood up and went to look in the hallway. He closed the door and sat back next to me. Obviously, he didn't want this conversation to be overheard. "Okay. Listen closely to me and don't interrupt me. I can give you that chance." This time, my heart literally stopped beating. "When Aurion will wake up, we'll have a few days to prepare ourselves. He'll be transferred to the prison only when the tests will have judged him apt to get out. If you want him to avoid that fate, we'll have to get him out before this." I listened to him without saying anything, too mortified to react as I was taking in the meaning of his words. He couldn't be serious...

"After that, you'll have to leave Japan. Alicia and I have a cottage in United States, in Florida. You'll be able to live there as long as you want. Of course, I hope you understand that you'll be directly involved in this and that your name as a police officer will be scorned. You won't be able to come back to Japan, nor be part of the police forces ever again. Are you ready for this?"

I... I couldn't believe this. I couldn't believe that Bryant, who hated Kratos so much, was giving him a chance to avoid prison. He who had said so many times that he deserved to rot in there. I looked into his eyes and saw he was dead serious. "W-Why?" I said on a low tone. Bryant's expression darkened a little. "Don't kid yourself. I'm not doing this for _him_." He pointed out Kratos with a movement of his head. "I'm doing it for you. I can't bear to see you like this anymore. If it's what you need to take a taste back in living, I'm ready to give you my support and help you in any way I can." His words had a deep impact on me. I began to shake as I contained the tears that gleamed at my eyes under the emotion. Bryant was giving me so much; he had always been so kind and generous towards me. The words stopped into my throat and I couldn't manage to thank him.

Bryant seemed to understand. He held my hand in a comforting gesture. I managed to get a hold of myself enough to talk again. "But what will happen to you if you help Kratos to escape?" I was worried by the fate that would await him if the police ever discovered the role he had played in the evasion of Yggdrasil's lieutenant. Bryant had a mysterious smile. "Don't worry about me. I have everything planned out."

I looked at Kratos' face with a far away gaze. I was lost in my thoughts. I was still thinking about what Bryant had told me several days ago. On the choice he had given me. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to live with Kratos, to start a new life with him. And Bryant was giving me that possibility. It was up to me to seize it. I tenderly stroked the hair of my lover. "Please, wake up soon... I'm tired of waiting..." I whispered, my voice broken by anxiety and exhaustion. I took his hand in mine and held it tight, stroking the back of his hand with my thumb. I looked at his face for a long time before putting my cheek on the hospital bed and closing my eyes. I was so tired... I was beginning to be sleepy when I faintly felt Kratos' hand twitch.

* * *

_Everything was so dark and black around me. There was nothing around me beside the darkness, surrounding me in a warm and comforting blanket, embracing my body with an alluring softness. I wanted nothing else than surrender to it, to close my eyes and let myself go, never opening them again. I felt so at ease that the only thought of leaving that comfort was irritating me. I didn't remember what had happened before I got here, but I didn't want to remember either. Why even try as I was now in __a place so peaceful, without no worries or fears to plague my mind?_

_However, a voice didn't cease to harass me in a far away corner of my mind. She seemed wanting to recall to my mind something very important, something that I shouldn't ever forget. I wanted nothing of it, but flashes of emerald green and sapphire imposed themselves to my eyes, too blurred to see what they were exactly other than the colours. And when I finally decided to try and identify what my mind was trying to show me, frowning to see closer, the darkness was already tightening its blanket around me, prompting me into forgetting. Why care about it? I was feeling at ease here, I could sleep forever. No worries were haunting me._

_It was the echo of a strange sound that prevented me from closing my eyes for good. It was a... melancholic sound? I wasn't sure. Maybe? That word didn't seem right as there was something else into that sound. It was... torn. Yes, it was the word I was searching for, torn. A sound that made me feel guilty trying to escape my problems by hiding in the darkness. A sound that was wringing my heart and that awoke the culpability in me as I was trying to flee the reality outside of this blanket. For a while, I tried my best to smother it; I put my hands on my ears and tried to concentrate on something else. However, the sound was echoing louder and louder and I couldn't ignore it anymore. I was such a coward._

_I had to get out of here; I couldn't let the darkness swallow me. Even if that option seemed easier, there was something much more important outside, something that deserved fighting for. It was now the darkness' turn trying to smother the sound, trying to close my mind to any outside interference. However, it was too late. I couldn't get rid of that sound echoing in my mind. It had taken shelter into my mind, to remind me that not only was there something waiting for me outside, but also that I wasn't alone._

_I had to get out of here. But where was the exit?_

_I focused my mind, ignoring the oppressing darkness around me, trying to find the direction in which the sound was coming from. When it resounded again, I turned my head to the right. If I wasn't mistaken, the echo was stronger that way than everywhere else. With a determined step, I decided to follow that path, hoping strongly that it was the right way. I had no other choice than to follow it, anyway, as I had no other clue to help me escape from this infernal place._

_However, even if I made sure steps, they became heavier and heavier and soon, I couldn't walk anymore. Letting my gaze wander on the ground, I saw with horror that my feet had been swallowed by the darkness. I couldn't see them anymore. Giving up to panic, I tried to get them out and walk again, pulling on my legs with all the strength I could summon as the heart-rending sound was becoming more and more oppressing. But the more I pulled, the more my legs got swallowed. Soon, the darkness had gotten to my knees and I began to search desperately for something to cling onto. My eyes frenetically searched everywhere, but it was hopeless. There was nothing here but darkness._

"I don't want this anymore!" _I thought aloud, hoping to be released. Unfortunately, I was wrong. The more I was struggling, the more I was chained to the darkness so I could never leave this place. That blanket that had seemed so comforting and soft before was now a stifling prison. And even as all hope seemed dead, I continued to struggle with all the strength I had._

_Unfortunately, the darkness soon reached my upper body and only my head and one hand wasn't covered in the darkness. I needed something to cling onto. If only there was something, I knew I could get out of this. Maybe the thing that was far away, that was producing the sound could help me? _"Please help!" _I began to wish with all my heart, hoping that my pleas would be heard despite my missing voice._

_And when the darkness reached my ears, when I knew everything was over, a lone __name reached my mind, a name so foreign yet so familiar at the same time. A name I thought about with all my might as my mouth had disappeared into the darkness._

"Yuan!"

I slowly opened my eyes, but immediately regretted my gesture as a blinding light hit my retinas with violence. Blinded, I closed them right away, deciding instead to concentrate on my body that I still hadn't moved yet. I felt really heavy, as if I hadn't moved in weeks. My muscles were completely sore and I couldn't manage to move my members. It definitely wasn't a pleasant sensation.

Suddenly, the sound that had been echoing in the darkness earlier reached my ears again and this time, I could finally make out what it really was: Crying. Soft crying filled with pain. Wanting to know why I was hearing this sound, I took the risk and opened my eyes again. When I saw that the light seemed to have lessened in intensity, I slowly turned my head to where the sound was coming from. What presented itself to my gaze was a scene that immediately broke my heart, but still reassured me at the same time. There, close to me, sitting on a chair beside the bed in which I seemed to be laying, was Yuan. He was holding my hand tightly, keeping it against his moist cheek as tears slowly escaped from his closed eyes. I didn't know what was making him so sad and my heart clenched at the thought something was hurting him. However, I was so relieved. He was alive! I had succeeded in protecting him from Yggdrasil.

All of my memories had come back at the view of my lover and I was glad I didn't surrender to the darkness. If I did, surely I wouldn't have been able to come back to reality and have Yuan back at my side. My precious Yuan. How could I have forgotten him? Wasn't he my most important person? Yes. Yes, he was. And for now, I had to focus solely on him, not on what I had just gone through.

"Why are you crying?" I whispered with a voice terribly sore and low. I immediately wished for a glass of water to relief my sore throat suddenly on fire, but I ignored my need. Now was not the time.

Without opening his eyes, the eyebrows of my lover creased with irritation and sadness. "Because you're not waking up, you idiot! You moved your hand, you made me believe that maybe you were finally waking up, but you stopped moving! I'm so tired of waiting. I want to see you awake, near me, but you don't stop sleeping! When will you finally open your eyes?"

A smile both sorry and amused played on my lips as Yuan hadn't realized yet who exactly had asked him the question. "I'm sorry, really." I whispered, unable to raise my tone because of my throat on fire. "Yes, you bett – "

He had finally opened his eyes as he was talking and he stopped completely, his mouth open from the shock. For a while, he only closed and opened it, as if he was searching for what to say. His tears had stopped, leaving only moist trails behind. His red and puffy eyes were staring at me without ever blinking, as if I would disappear if he did. "K-Kratos..." His soft voice was finally running free and suddenly, he latched at me, taking me into a strong embrace. A choked breath released from my lips under the impact and I grimaced for a split second before smiling again, returning his embrace with one arm. I think that holding my hand so many times had kept that arm moving.

"You're finally awake!" He exclaimed with an intense relief. "I was so scared to lose you." Even though I would have liked to keep holding him like this to reassure him, he was suffocating me in his tight embrace and I soon wouldn't be able to tolerate my irritated throat. "Yuan, you're suffocating me." I said to him and right away, he straightened up with an embarrassed expression.

"I'm sorry. I hadn't realized." He turned his gaze away for a brief moment as I was shaking my head with negation to show him he didn't need to apologize. I then tried to sit up in my bed to settle in a sitting position. However, my arms were still weak and numb and Yuan had to help me so my back could rest on my pillows and the wall. I was already feeling better. "Could I have some water?" I asked and my lover stood up right away, making for the small bathroom. He soon came back with a plastic cup filled with water that he gave me. I thanked him and took the cup with my valid hand, downing the water in one or two gulp. The seemingly cold liquid relieved my sore throat.

When I put the empty cup on the bed table near my bed, I noticed Yuan's eyes were following my every move with a tangible seriousness. I stared at him in return in silence, with an expression a lot more serene, waiting for him to talk as I knew what was coming. I wasn't disappointed.

"Don't ever do this again!" Yuan exclaimed with seriousness and anger. "How could you even think one second of getting in front of me? Did you really want to die that badly?" I didn't left his gaze that was throwing lighting as he was clenching his fists. "I wanted to protect you." Were the sole words I said. It didn't seem to appease him. "I was already severely wounded! If nobody had come and that you hadn't stood in front of me, at least, one of us would have survived! I didn't want you to protect me; I didn't want you to die!" I frowned in front of such words. "If Yggdrasil had killed you, I would have killed him with my own hands and I wouldn't really have lived afterwards, only roaming in jail. Do you really call that living? I would rather protect you!"

"I didn't want you to die! I didn't want having to put up with this!" My lover added with irritation, getting angry as I was keeping my calm. "But I'm not. I'm alive and breathing." I said with confusion. It only tore an annoyed sigh from the police officer. "You don't understand!" He exclaimed between his teeth. "I really thought you had died from the gunshot! If it hadn't been from Bryant getting there in time to save us and confirm to me that you were alive, I would have let myself die! I really thought you were gone for good, that I would never see you again... that everything was over and – " He stopped talking, his hands near his face but not touching it as the tears seemed about to fall again, but drying out as soon as they reached the corner of his eyes. "I don't want to go over this again. I was so scared to lose you, furthermore since you weren't waking up, even after one month. The doctors said that the more time passed, the less probable was your awakening. I woke up every night from nightmares in which you were dying and you were never there to comfort me. I – " His voice choked again, but this time, he simply stopped talking. I felt my heart clench painfully not only because of his words, but also because of his depressive and sad expression. What had I done?

I got closer to him and slowly, I put my own hands in place of his on his cheeks, stroking them soothingly as my thumbs gently stroked the corner of his eyes to wipe away any trace of tears that wanted to make itself present. "I'm sorry, so sorry for not having been there. But I too didn't want to lose you; I too didn't want to live this hell. We both wanted to protect the other and it would inevitably have hurt the other. Nothing could have been done." His irises escaped to the side to avoid my gaze. At this, I leaned my forehead against his. "So why don't we rejoice instead about the fact that we're alive? Both of us?" I whispered to end my thought. My lover's hands went on my own and he closed his eyes, nodding. "Yes, you are right. But please, never do that to me again." I stopped myself from answering as I would never have the occasion again since I would go in jail. I only nodded. I didn't want to bring him more suffering for now.

"How are you feeling?" Yuan asked me after a moment of silence both comforting and awkward. I let myself fall back on the pillows with a sigh as I seriously thought about my condition for the first time since I was awake. "I'm okay. I'm just feeling numb. I don't think I would be able to move much by myself." I admitted and saw him smile with compassion. "It's nothing to worry about. You didn't move for more than one month, after all." He explained and I scowled at that. I had left Yuan alone for that much a time? Yet, I was surely healed for a long time; I felt next to no pain at the spot the bullet had hit me. Why did I sleep for that long?

Suddenly, Yuan stood up and stroked my hair tenderly. "I'm going to go get the nurse. They have to know that you're awake. I won't be long." I nodded and looked at him without a word as he left the room, wondering about what would happen now that I was awake.

"Everything looks normal. Your wound is totally healed. The only thing left to do is making you go through rehabilitation so your arms and legs will regain their strength back and you should be able to leave the hospital afterwards." The doctor announced me while putting his tools away after having examined me. He had followed the nurse Yuan had went to fetch and both of them were standing at some distance away; The nurse was pulling out the solute that had kept me alive for more than a month while Yuan was listening closely to the doctor in silence, leaning on the wall near the door, his arms folded on his chest. "If you work hard every day, after one and a half week or two, you should be back on your feet." I nodded, hesitating between happiness for I would soon be able to move and get out of that room that smelled of antiseptics, and the pain of knowing the life that would await me after my leave of the hospital: an eternity of imprisonment without Yuan at my side.

* * *

"Your recovering is going smoothly, Mr. Aurion." I threw a smile to the nurse that was helping me get to my room after a rehabilitation session. The latter blushed when she saw me and turned her gaze away with a delighted expression. I knew I had that effect on almost every female staff member of the hospital – I could hear them whisper as I passed by them, they weren't really subtle – but nothing was making me more indifferent. How unfortunate for them that I already had someone, a man furthermore. But if they knew, they didn't show any sign of it. "I'm pleased to hear it." I answered gently when we finally reached the door leading to my room. When she opened it, my lover was already waiting inside, sitting on the chair besides my bed, looking absentmindedly by the window. I offered him a loving expression and when he finally noticed our presence, he returned the same expression, which embarrassed the nurse at my side. I didn't say I was trying to hide our relationship either.

Yuan stood up to join us and I immediately took support on him instead of the woman besides us. "I wasn't awaiting you so soon today." I whispered with tenderness and he seemed amused by it. "I managed to free myself earlier today. Aren't you happy?" He pulled a face and I couldn't refrain from laughing softly. "On the contrary, I'm quite pleased." I said, making his smile return.

I then turned towards the nurse that seemed quite ill-at-ease. "Can I go to the garden this morning?" I asked her and she seemed hesitant. "I'll accompany him to keep an eye on him and make sure he's feeling okay." Yuan added, making me roll my eyes upwards. I was feeling way better now, I didn't need "surveillance". The lady seemed to hesitate a little more, wondering if she could leave me alone even though someone was accompanying me, but she finally shrugged her shoulders. "I don't think that's a problem. You're making great progress, after all." I thanked her and she bowed before finally leaving us alone. I offered another smile to my lover and he returned it before taking my arm. "Let's go, then." He said, apparently happy for not having to stay confined with me in the small room.

We slowly walked down the hallways leading to the garden as my legs still didn't permit me to move at a normal rhythm. However, Yuan was patient, going at the same rhythm as me, making sure I could make it.

When we finally made it to our destination, Yuan led me to a tree apart from the others. It was the tree we had taken a liking to since the first time we had decided to come to the garden for a change of air. It was a little away from the others and from prying eyes, seeing there were many people walking around the garden or just laying on the grass to bask in the sun. When we arrived, we both sat peacefully and I leaned my back against the tree trunk, lifting my face towards the blue sky that no cloud covered. "I don't have much time left." I said with a peak of nostalgia in my voice. "Soon, I won't be able to look at the sky as much as I want nor will I be able to feel the warmth of a beautiful summer day to rest." Silence welcomed me and I turned my head only to see Yuan had lowered his eyes, unable to answer. "You had promised me that we wouldn't talk about that anymore." He whispered painfully and I immediately cursed myself. "But it's the truth." I answered on the same tone and when he lifted his gaze, it was gleaming with sparks. "I know that! But it's not a reason to recall it to me so cruelly!" He exclaimed. I was about to reply, but a gunshot suddenly resounded clearly. We both turned our heads in the direction of the sound, like the rest of the people present in the garden. Another gunshot was heard and many men entered the garden, each of them armed with revolvers. My eyes widened in horror and I stood up as quickly as I could as the majority of the witnesses were running inside the hospital with screams of panic. "Aurion, show yourself!" One of the men exclaimed heinously and I lifted an arm in front of Yuan who had also stood up, seemingly as panicked as the others. "Kratos?" He asked with fright, but I didn't answer as I slowly walked towards the armed men. "What do you want with me?" I asked ferociously and they turned towards me. The one who had talked earlier answered me. "You will follow us quietly!" I creased my eyes in hatred.

"And if I refuse?" I said with coldness. He didn't let me the time to react. Another gunshot was heard and I gasped as my hands flew to my stomach. A sticky liquid rapidly spread on them, staining my clothes. "You'll pay for what you did to Lord Yggdrasil. You'll follow us without any trouble." I weakly opened my mouth to reply, but no sound managed to get out as fast steps came my way and I heard Yuan scream my name. My eyes looked faintly around the place, wondering if there were still people around and I saw a nurse that was looking at us near the door, her body shaking with terror. Someone had to tell her to get away, she couldn't stay here. Yuan was the one who took care of it. "Get away! Go find some help, but get away from here! I'll take care of it!" He screamed to the woman while drawing his revolver from his waist. I had the time to see her nod and turning away, running inside of the hospital before I collapsed on the ground.

* * *

She ran as fast as she could along the hallways, ignoring the doctors and nurses that asked her for explanations, avoiding the panicked patients that hurried to get to a secured area. She had to find the guards. Surely they were already in route to the garden! They must have heard the gunshots! But instead of stumbling onto a guard, she saw someone else: the police commissioner was quickly walking in her direction, a serious expression on his face. Security guards were following him closely behind. They had surely heard the gunshots.

She quickly met up with them and stopped them to tell them of the situation. "You have to hurry, please! The patients managed to get away safe and sound, but they managed to wound one of them! I think one of your men was with him and he's facing them alone!" Without any traces of panic on his face, Bryant nodded. A fourth gunshot then resounded and he lifted his head right away. "Quickly, before it's too late!" He exclaimed and ran towards the sound, followed by the guards. However, when they arrived, it was already too late. The place was empty. The men who had entered the garden had left without leaving any traces behind. Even Kratos wasn't there anymore. All that was left was...

"_Yuan!_" Bryant yelled as he ran to a remote corner of the garden. There, almost entirely covered by the trees, a man was lying on the ground with its arms wide open and its long cobalt hair spread everywhere on the grass, almost blending with it. A crimson liquid was staining the green grass and a skin that had been so soft and beautiful, but was now so pale that it was almost grey. Lips painted with a blue tinge that talked of lost warmth. Two emeralds eternally staring into the sky lifelessly. "_No!_" The commissioner fell on his knees, taking the lifeless corpse of his officer into his arms, holding him close as he screamed his pain and grief. He threw a furious look at the guards that were frozen on the spot, as well as his officers that had just joined them. "Don't stay there doing nothing! I want you to find these men! Pursue them; I'm sure there are witnesses outside of this garden!" The police officers didn't have to be told twice and left hastily the garden as the guards left to fetch the doctors so they could take care of the corpse. When he was sure they had all gone away, Bryant threw a pained look at his officer as he clenched his teeth and let his head fall onto Yuan's forehead, whispering words against his cold skin.

"Well done, both of you."

* * *

I was in the midst of pulling off my shirt stained with blood to put on another shirt and a vest. I gave the ruined cloth to Yuan who dropped it into a plastic bag, looking at me as I changed myself. "You're sure you're feeling well? You really didn't push yourself when we had to run to the car?" He asked me for the third time since we had left the hospital. I let out a sigh while smiling comfortingly at him. "Yes, Yuan. I'm really fine. I pretended having difficulty walking today. I'm perfectly able to walk, run, take objects, anything you want. I recovered completely." I answered while finishing buttoning up my vest.

"_If you work hard every day, after one and a half week or two, you should be back on your feet." I nodded and saw my lover stand up and make for the door. "Yuan?" I asked questioningly. He threw me a reassuring smile. "I'll be right back." Those were his sole words before he left the room._

_I was quite curious, wondering what he might have planned that he hadn't wanted to tell me about. I watched as the staff members finished their work before leaving the room, leaving me alone for a moment as I was still pondering on Yuan's strange attitude. But I didn't have the time to wonder about it for a long time. A few minutes after the nurse and doctor's departure, Yuan came back in the room. This time, however, he was followed by someone, one of the last people I wanted to see. I frowned as I tried to understand why Yuan had led him here. I knew that when I would be healed and would have the permission to leave the hospital, I would have to go in prison to pay for my crimes. But does my lover really needed to recall that fact to me, the first day of my awakening? ... No, it wasn't like Yuan to do that. There must be another reason for the coming of his commissioner. I had to trust him._ _As Yuan sat back at my side, Bryant made sure no one was around before he closed the door and turned to face us, throwing a dark glance in my direction. I returned his gaze coldly as he started to talk. "A week and a half to two weeks? Hmph, even if that idiot takes more time to heal, we better not take chances. You have one week, Aurion." I creased my eyes at his ambiguous comment as Yuan let out an outraged exclamation at the fact his superior had just called me an idiot. "You want to see me rot in jail that badly?" I spit out, seriously wondering why Yuan had brought him here. I would do just fine without seeing his face. I felt the hand of the latter on mine, squeezing it gently and I looked at him from the corner of my eyes. "Please, Kratos, let him talk. What he's about to say is really important." I scowled at his words, dissatisfied, but I didn't want to go against him. So it was with a resigned groan that I folded my arms on my chest, listening to what Bryant had to say._

"_Yes, you better listen to him, Aurion. I wouldn't want to go back on my decision and really throw you in jail as you deserves. It's not that I don't want to." The commissioner said while leaning nonchalantly against the door frame. Yuan's eyes widened with fright. "Bryant!" He exclaimed, horrified by his words. Bryant let out a sigh and turned his eyes on his officer. "Pardon me. It wasn't my intention. It's just that barely awake, he already gets on my nerves." His superior grumbled before finally getting to the matter at hand._

"_You have one week to recover, Aurion, because after that time, you'll both take advantage of the rest of your rehabilitation time to flee to the United States. My wife and I have a cottage in Florida and we decided to lend it to you as long as you need to build your new life." My eyes widened under my stupefaction because of what I was hearing. Have I really heard well? Bryant would let me go, he would let me flee to another country and begin a new life? I turned my head towards Yuan, wanting him to confirm it was the truth and when I saw his happy face, his soft smile and the honesty of it, I knew it wasn't a dream. "Don't get me wrong! I'm not doing this for you!" The commissioner exclaimed and I rolled my eyes upwards. "I simply couldn't watch Yuan suffer and destroy himself slowly anymore because of the past events." At his words, I lowered and diverted my gaze. I was, after all, the main cause of this destruction. Did I really deserve to leave with the man I loved as I had hurt him so much?_

_Yuan didn't let me time to wander deeper into my thoughts. He put a hand on my cheek and turned my face gently towards him so our eyes could meet. His lips silently formed the words "It's not your fault" with a reassuring smile that I couldn't stop myself from returning. I shouldn't work my head with this, not ever again._

"_I don't want to interrupt that touching moment, but I don't have the entire afternoon." The commissioner said while clearing his throat, drawing our attention on him. "I need to give you the details for the plan to follow if you want to be ready. We can't afford to make mistakes." I nodded in time with Yuan as we listened closely. Bryant made sure again that nobody was near to hear from the outside, listening intently, before resuming his talk. "Now that we know when Aurion will leave the hospital, I'll make sure everything will happen in exactly one week from now. Here's how we're going to proceed..."_

I looked at the driver that hadn't thrown us a single glance since we had entered the second car. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I was finally free. And it was all thanks to Bryant. Who would have thought that? The memories of the day of my awakening came back to my mind.

The plan had worked perfectly well; Police officers that were aware of the plan had disguised themselves as Yggdrasil's men, had faked killing Yuan and leaving the corpse they had planned to use to pretend his death to Yggdrasil, had kidnapped me and we had left in the car. Then, we had stopped in a desolated alleyway where a second car was waiting for us. The disguised police officers had made us take the second car as they changed back in their usual uniform. This way, they could pretend to their colleagues that they weren't in on the plan and that they had found an empty car. The less people were aware of the plan, the better it was.

"I have to admit your superior is a genius in building up crazy plans. Everyone back there seemed to believe that what was happening was real. I would have believed it too if I wasn't aware of it and if you hadn't slipped a pocket of blood under my shirt before we left my room." I admitted and Yuan had an amused grin. "He loves that. He often uses these means to trap the criminals we want to put in jail. He says it's a good way to vent his anger." I stayed silent at his words, not knowing if I should laugh or be relieved that he hadn't done this against me. "Reassure me. We are really going to the airport and you are really Yuan?" I asked, suddenly suspicious. My lover burst out laughing and kissed me tenderly. I responded straight away, replacing a rebellious bang of blue hair behind his ear. "Yes, it's really me. Don't worry about that." He whispered seductively, pulling a mocking smile from me. "Good. In that case, I can devour you." And on that note, I seized his lips, not caring about the driver up front.

* * *

I parked the car into the parking lot and looked with a baffled expression at the house that was standing up in front of us. "You're sure it's the right place? We're not mistaken?" I asked while turning my head towards him. He seemed as baffled as I was as he looked again at the paper in his hands. "No, it's really the right place. We've arrived at destination." He told me and I switched off the ignition before opening the door and getting out of the car. All the while, my eyes never left the cottage in which we would live from today on.

Saying this was a cottage was a euphemism. The house had two floors, was made of solid stone and seemed new – at least, it didn't seem to be more than three years old. Behind the house, a beautiful beach of white sand was spreading miles around, followed by the endless sea. It wasn't a "cottage" that everybody could afford. Still speechless in front of our new home, I asked: "Are you sure your superior didn't have a more... illegal job aside from the one he already has? You would announce me that he is a yakuza and I wouldn't be surprised." Yuan shook his head with discouragement as he began to get our luggage out of the car. "No Kratos, Bryant is not a yakuza. He's an honest man with an honest job." He said nonchalantly and I went to help him bring our luggage inside of the house. If we had found the cottage beautiful on the outside, we were really dismayed when we entered inside. Everything was so richly decorated! The entrance, leading to the lounge, was breathing comfort: right in front of us was standing an electric fireplace made from red wood; diagonally from the fireplace was a beige chocolate coloured couch that was facing an enormous plasma television. The walls made of brick encompassed a floor made from wood. A bookcase was leaning against the wall besides the television and was filled with books and decorative accessories. From the ceiling was hanging a huge luminary and behind the couch, a large window decorated with brown curtains made from a silky material gave the view on the beach. If that was only the lounge, I didn't dare think about what the other rooms would look like. It was really a house for the wealthy. "You know, I'm also beginning to doubt." Yuan said, talking of my comment about Bryant potentially being a yakuza. I only nodded.

We put down our luggage in the lounge before exploring the entire house, curious about what the other rooms looked like. We weren't disappointed. The cottage was simply magnificent. We couldn't have asked for more to begin our new life.

The last room we found was the one we decided to take as our bedroom. It was simpler as it was surely destined for a guest room. We would decorate it with time. "I still can't believe the luck we have." I said while embracing Yuan from behind, my arms circling his waist and his back flush against my chest. He lifted his face towards me, nodding. "Bryant has always been so kind to me. I'll have to pay him back someday, without fail." He added with a determined look. I had a soft laugh and kissed his forehead. "You have all the time in the world to figure out how. For now, we should finish settling in." A mocking smile dawned on my lover's lips and he turned around in my arms so we were facing each other. "You know, now that we have a new bedroom, we'll have to baptize it." He said with amusement and a similar smile decorated my lips. "I like your idea, but I don't think that's enough. Now that we have a new life, this entire house deserves to be baptized. Don't you think so?" I didn't let him the time to answer as I nibbled his ear, savouring the arousing sound that passed my lover's lips.

Yes, this new life was promising to be wonderful. Never would we forget what had taken place in Japan. The suffering we had gone through, the trials we had faced and the people who had sacrificed themselves for us. Even now, under the happiness burning into Yuan's eyes, I could see huge sadness and grief. These scars would take a long time to heal. But we were together, alive, breathing, and loving.

Life had given us a second chance. It was up to us to seize it.

**The end**

* * *

**A/N: **Isn't it much better? (Saenda: I've got tears of happiness in my eyes!)

(Littlerosebud: So have I! T.T)

We went through so much and finally, this is it. Can you believe it? We certainly can't! We hope you enjoyed the story from the beginning to the end, and that you've come to care for the characters as much as we have. We don't know if we'll do another project like this one in the future, but if we do, it'll take... a while.

Thank you so much for sticking with us until the end. It means so much for the both of us.

Take care everyone!

**Littlerosebud**

**Saenda  
**


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